And we're back with another one, I don't have much to say, so let's just get into it. I hope you all enjoy!
TWENTY SIX
Gabby's leg bounced up and down nervously as she sat in the spacious office, her eyes focused on her lap while her hands rested there, nerves radiating off her body. She did what she could to ignore the stare of the man seated across from her, but it was hard when she felt his eyes boring into her skull.
The second she'd gotten back from 61's last call almost ten minutes ago, Boden had been waiting for them in the garage, the man's arms crossed over his chest as he nodded her over, silently telling him to follow her. And in that moment, she knew Boden knew what happened.
Without a word, Dawson had followed Boden through the firehouse, ignoring the curious looks she got from everyone in the common room, Gabby sure she was leaving a confused Shay behind while she walked in step with Chief.
And now here they were, Gabby having not said a word since they sat down. Boden was patient with her, trying to let her take the lead, wanting to give her the time she needed to feel comfortable talking about what happened.
"Did Severide tell you?"
Gabby's voice was soft, barely audible as she lifted her eyes, seeing that all too familiar look of pity shining back at her as the Chief sat across from her, his hands folded together on top of his desk.
"Casey did." He answered, Gabby biting down on her bottom lip as she nodded. Truthfully, she hadn't thought about Casey hearing what had happened, but she should've assumed he would have. She figured Severide had gone and told him pretty soon after it happened, and she knew she shouldn't be surprised, given the circumstances. Her and Matt aside, Walker was one of his firefighters; Casey needed to know about this.
"So you know what happened…" She breathed out, crossing her arms over her stomach protectively, Boden noticing her almost shrink in her seat.
"I don't know the specifics, but I know Walker was standing outside your shower, waiting for you, and he was holding your towel and wouldn't give it to you."
"That's pretty much it." She murmured, running her tongue over her bottom lip.
"Dawson, I-" He cut himself off, releasing a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry this happened."
"It's okay, Chief."
"No, it's not." He replied firmly, shaking his head in disgust. "It's not okay, what Walker did today… I'm so sorry. I'm sorry he thought it was acceptable to do that, and I'm sorry he took advantage of you being in that position. I'm sorry, Dawson."
She gave him a slow nod, her jaw clenching tightly as she looked back down to her lap. "I appreciate that, Chief, I do. It's not your fault, but I appreciate it." She murmured, tapping her fingers against her side nervously. "Walker, he was just- I think he was messing around. He's always had a… twisted sense of humor."
"This isn't something that can be excused as a joke, Dawson."
"No, I know that, I just… I don't know, I guess I'm just trying to understand what he was thinking." She spoke quietly, Boden's face softening as he leaned forward against his desk, Chief waiting a moment before responding.
"What do you need me to do here, Gabby?" He asked, Gabby slowly lifting her head. "I'm going to write up a report about what happened, and I'd like your account of things, if you can." He spoke, Gabby swallowing thickly before nodding. "You can tell it to me, or if you'd rather not, you can write it up yourself, and I'll add it to the report."
"I'd rather do that." She responded, Boden nodding understandingly. She knew Boden would find out what happened, but she'd rather not have to sit here and go through everything again. What Walker did had upset her, she wouldn't pretend it didn't, but she didn't want to dwell on it. She didn't want to think about it at all, if she could help it.
"Okay, then that's what we'll do. If you could have that to me before the end of shift, that would be great, so I can get it sent in soon." He told her, keeping his voice soft as Gabby nodded. "Now, I'm not entirely sure what to do with Walker. I did send him home for the rest of shift, so you don't need to worry about that…" Gabby felt herself relax hearing that Bryan was no longer in the firehouse for the rest of shift. It wasn't even so much that she thought he'd try anything else after the stunt he'd pulled earlier, but the thought of even seeing him right now made her anxious. "I think I'll wait and see what headquarters is wanting to do here, and we'll go from there."
"That's fine, Chief." She responded, forcing a small smile as she nodded, Boden seeing the drained look in her eyes. "Do you need anything else?"
"No, you're dismissed." He replied, not wanting to keep her any longer. Giving a slow nod, she pushed herself up from the chair, her body feeling heavy as she moved. "But Dawson-" His words stopped her, Gabby turning back to face the Chief. "Are you okay?" He questioned softly, Gabby drawing in a deep breath. "Because if you need the rest of shift off, I completely understand."
"I'm fine, Chief." She responded, Boden's eyes tracing over her face.
"You sure?"
"Positive."
Without another word, she walked out of Boden's office, Gabby sighing heavily as she shut the door behind her. She barely got two steps out of the room before she noticed Shay pacing at the end of the hallway, the blonde wearing a look Gabby couldn't read from here, but based on her body language, she was angry.
Rubbing her hand over her face, Gabby slowly continued her steps, Shay catching her eye, Dawson seeing the concern shining in her gaze.
"Honey, I had no idea, are you okay?" She questioned worriedly as Dawson approached, Gabby pursing her lips together as she nodded. "Severide told me what happened, why didn't you tell me? We could've rerouted the call, I could've waterboarded Walker, I can't believe he did that to you, God I'm gonna kill him." She rambled out in anger, Gabby seeing the blonde's face soften when they met eyes, Shay frowning softly. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Shay." She responded with a shrug, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Gabby-"
"Does everyone know?" Dawson cut her off, Shay breathing deeply before shaking her head.
"I don't think so. After Boden pulled you aside, I came in and could tell everyone was confused. I tried to figure out what was going on, no one knew what to say, then Kelly pulled me aside and told me." She explained, Gabby nodding in relief. "The guys said Casey told them Walker wouldn't be here the rest of shift."
"Yeah, uh, Boden sent him home." She replied, averting her eyes as she began walking down the hallway, Shay matching her stride.
"I can't believe he did that, like what was he thinking? What exactly happened, did he-"
"Shay, please." Gabby spoke, blinking tightly as she tried to alleviate the headache forming in her skull.
"But I-"
"Please, don't." Gabby spoke sharply, the women stopping in their tracks in the hallway. "I just- I need a minute." She breathed out, her throat tightening as she walked away from Shay, Gabby needing a second just to breathe.
Knowing anywhere in this firehouse was bound to be occupied by people she didn't feel like talking to, Gabby made her way out to the back of the firehouse, pushing the door open roughly as she sucked in a deep breath.
The silence was immediately comforting as Gabby walked away from the house, pacing back and forth as she focused on the sound of her boots hitting the pavement. She felt her hands shaking at her sides, Gabby doing what she could to push the thoughts of Walker from her mind.
She knew Shay was trying to help, that Boden was trying to help, but she didn't want to talk about it. She wanted to forget it, to pretend it didn't happen, but with the amount of people who already knew, she was sure it wouldn't stay quiet around the firehouse for long. And once everyone knew, it would be nearly impossible to ignore it. Everyone meant well, she knew they did, but she'd been dealing with Walker for a long time, it was just much easier to manage when he kept their problems out of the firehouse.
When he acted like everything was fine at work, which he always had before for the most part, it gave her a break. It gave her a place where she didn't have to worry about him doing something, when, aside from one incident, he'd never done anything to her here. But now, she didn't have that comfort. Whatever the cause, Bryan didn't care about keeping his true self out of the firehouse anymore, and she had no idea how far he'd take things.
And she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep on acting like things were fine if everyone kept trying to make sure she was alright.
She was handling it, she was handling everything the best way she knew how, but everyone constantly checking in on her only made things harder. She didn't want their pity, she didn't need their sympathy, she just wanted everything here to be normal, she needed it to be normal. But Bryan was seemingly doing everything in his power to make that impossible.
She just wanted him to leave her alone, that was all she wanted from him. But she knew he wouldn't. She'd known him long enough to know he never did anything unless he wanted to, and especially after Casey had warned him to leave her alone, she knew that would only encourage him.
Matt meant well, she knew he did, and honestly, she didn't mind his concern as much as everyone else. She wasn't sure why, she didn't know why it felt different with him, but it did. She didn't feel like she had to pretend with him. Even though she hadn't told him much about things between her and Bryan, she felt like a part of him knew there was much more to it. She felt like part of him knew, or he at least had an idea about what Walker had done to her, but, to his credit, he never asked her about it. He never pressed her to talk about anything she didn't want to, or couldn't talk about, and she couldn't help but think that's exactly why she usually sought him out.
There was no pressure with him, there were no expectations. He was there for her, no questions asked, he had been from the moment they met, even when she had been receptive to it. And, in some ways, she thinks it's almost easier with him because he didn't know Walker before. He never knew her and Walker during their relationship, he was never friends with him. He was someone who was solely on her side, with this and with everything.
She knew she had Shay, that Shay was completely in her corner, and she always had been. But it was different with Matt. She couldn't explain it, she didn't understand it, but knowing she had Matt to lean on made things a little easier, and it filled her with a sense of comfort and security she hadn't felt in a long time.
The sound of the door opening slowed her pacing, Gabby stopping with her back turned towards the visitor, assuming Shay had come to check in on her. But when she turned around, she was caught off guard seeing Casey standing just outside the door, letting it softly close behind him. He kept his distance, Gabby meeting his gaze, feeling herself relax when he gave her a soft smile.
"Hi." He murmured, still not moving from his spot by the door, clearing not wanting to overcrowd her.
"Hey." She responded, her raspy voice sounding almost foreign to her ears.
From his position a few feet from her, Casey couldn't help but worry about her. He'd been worried the second he heard what happened, he was worried when he caught a quick glimpse of her before she'd gone to Boden's office, and he was even more worried now. He could tell she was upset, as she should be, and he wanted to do nothing more than comfort her. But he also didn't want to make things worse.
He could see the hesitation in her eyes, and he wasn't sure what the make of it. He couldn't imagine what today had been like for her, he couldn't imagine how violated she felt after what Walker had done. Casey knows it could've been worse, that had Severide not come in when he did, there's no telling how far Walker would've gone, but from the little Matt knew, he knew what had happened was unsettling, to say the least.
After the hard few days she'd had, Matt didn't know what was going on in her head. And he'd never forgive himself if he did anything to make this more difficult for her. He was weary to get closer, to touch her before he knew it was okay, especially with how skittish she'd been as of late. But, if she'd let him, he wanted to try and help.
"Do you want me to go?" He asked softly, watching as she blinked quickly for a few seconds, before ultimately shaking her head, Matt taking that as an invitation to get closer. He stopped with some space still in between them, Gabby biting down on the inside of her cheek firmly, their eyes locked on one another. Slowly, Dawson reached out for his hand, Matt giving it willingly as she gripped his hand tightly in hers, Gabby taking a step closer to her.
Taking that as a sign she was okay with his physical comfort, Matt lifted his hand slowly, feeling relieved when she didn't shy away from him as he cradled her cheek, Gabby leaning into the warmth that his touch provided. He stroked his thumb over her cheek gently, Gabby's eyes falling closed as she felt herself slowly begin to relax.
"Boden sent Walker home." Casey spoke up after a few minutes, unsure of where to start.
"He told me." She murmured, Matt nodding as he gently rubbed his hand over her cheek. "I'm guessing Severide told you what happened?" She questioned, Matt giving her another nod as they locked eyes.
"He did."
She saw the clear concern shining in his eyes, Gabby sucking a deep breath as she dropped his hand. Matt's hand fell from face, unsure of what was going on in her head. But she took him by surprise when stepped towards him, closing the distance between them as she slid her hands underneath his jacket, wrapping her arms around his waist. She pressed her body against his as she held onto him, Matt immediately wrapping her up in his embrace. He held onto her as tightly as he could, feeling her trembling slightly in his grasp.
They stood there for a few moments, Matt continuously moving one hand up and down her back while she dug herself into his neck, letting him comfort her as she focused on the feeling of his body heat filling her with warmth, Gabby calming down more and more with every second that passed.
"I don't really want to talk about it." She murmured after a couple minutes of complete quiet, Matt pressing a soft kiss to the side of her head.
"You don't have to." He was quick to respond, Gabby nodding against him as she turned her head to the side, looking towards the brick wall as she rested against his chest, the thumping of his steady heartbeat continuing to comfort her. "I just want you to know I'm so sorry he did that, I never saw him going in or I would've stopped him-"
"It's not your fault, and it's fine… I'm fine." She told him, Matt unable to figure out if she was trying to convince him, or herself. "He didn't really do anything, he was just being an ass. I don't want to make a bigger deal out of it than it is."
Matt bit his tongue, holding back what he wanted to say for Gabby's sake. Walker's actions were completely unacceptable, there was no gray area there. But he knew this wasn't the time or place to press her on it. He didn't want her thinking that was okay, or she had done something to warrant him harassing her in the shower, but the firehouse wasn't the place for this conversation. Especially when she'd made it clear she didn't want to discuss things right now.
"I honestly just want to forget it." She spoke up again, Matt bringing his hand up to cradle the back of her head. In this moment, Gabby wished they were off shift, that they were just back at Casey's place where he could distract her from everything for a little while. She wanted nothing more than to just be curled up on the couch with him and be away from everything and everyone else. But she knew she had a long time before that could happen.
"Well, I have a few methods of distraction." He spoke, Gabby smirking as she pulled back, not only because of his words, but because it was like he could just sense exactly what she needed. Keeping her arms around him, Gabby cocked her head to the side, realization quickly settling over Matt's face. "Wait- I didn't mean sex, that came out wrong." He was quick to clarify, Gabby chuckling softly. "I meant like watching a movie, or something. Also, let's not forget we're seeing what could be your new apartment tomorrow," He reminded her, seeing a small, excited smile grace her lips. "...As long as you're still up for it."
"I am." She responded, giving him a reassuring nod. "I'm really looking forward to that, actually."
"So am I." He replied gently, seeing her smile grow.
"...And maybe once we finish up looking at the apartment, we can try out some of your other distraction methods?" She questioned with a raised brow, Casey tilting his head to the side.
He knew exactly what she was doing, she was deflecting. She was trying to not think about earlier today, she was probably trying to not have him thinking about it either. She said herself, she didn't want to dwell on it, she wanted to ignore it. And, for now, he'd let her.
They had an entire shift to finish out, and if not focusing on it right now was what she needed to do, he'd go along with it. But that wouldn't stop him from continuing to check in on her throughout the day. In the short time he'd known her, he'd seen how she'd close herself off when things got hard, and he didn't want her to do that with him. He didn't want her to feel like she had to.
"Maybe." He breathed out with a soft smile, gripping her waist comfortingly. "But can you promise me one thing?" He asked, Gabby giving him a slow nod. "I know you're okay, and you're more than capable of handling yourself, but if at some point today, you need a little help dealing with this, promise me you'll come to me."
Gabby's face softened as the words left his lips, hearing how much worry he was carrying. Running her tongue over her bottom lip, she gave him another nod, seeing Casey relax slightly. "I will." She whispered, moving her hands up his back under his jacket, pulling him closer. "Promise."
"Thank you."
Gabby leaned forward, pressing her lips against his in a meaningful, tender kiss, Matt reciprocating her actions as they slowly moved together. Their actions were innocent, and gentle, Gabby needing the comforting contact more than she could verbally put into words.
This, right here, was exactly what she needed.
She just needed Matt.
She needed him, and he was here for her without any hesitation or expectation, like he always had been. He was just… here. And that meant more to her than she could ever fully express.
Casey drove down the road, his hand resting on Gabby's thigh as they sat in his truck, Dawson's eyes peeled out the window as they moved through the unfamiliar street, not wanting to miss their destination.
"Is this the right street?" Casey asked, Gabby nodding as she glanced down to the address before looking back out the window.
"Yeah it is, wait- I think that's it right there." Dawson spoke, Matt looking up in time to see the apartment they'd be looking at, Casey giving her a nod before going in search of a parking spot. He found one relatively quickly, Matt putting his truck in park, Gabby glancing towards the clock, surprised to see they had managed to get here on time.
It had been kind of a crazy morning for the pair, which seemed fitting after the shift they'd had at 51. The rest of shift hadn't been bad, per-say, but it had seemed to drag on, especially with everyone skirting around Dawson the rest of the day. No one else had been told what happened, but they knew Walker had done something, something that affected her, something bad enough to get him sent home. They were all curious, she could tell, but no one had asked her what happened. And if they asked Shay, Casey, or Severide, she never heard about it. But, thankfully, her and Shay had been called out quite frequently, leaving little time for her to deal with the constant looks from her concerned coworkers.
That fast pace continued through the morning, Dawson being out on call when shift ended, prompting her to get back to Casey's apartment later than planned. Originally, they had wanted to shower and change before heading to see her potential apartment, but they didn't have any time for that. As soon as Gabby got to his place, she quickly dropped her stuff off inside and the two left, getting into his truck before driving off towards this place. It had been a rushed morning, but Gabby was optimistic that this apartment had some potential, she was just eager to see it.
"You ready?" Casey asked, his voice pulling her from her thoughts. Looking over, she saw him standing outside of the truck, his head ducked down so he could see her, Matt clearly having been expecting her to get out when he did.
"Yeah, I'm ready." She responded, Matt giving her a soft smile as she got out of his truck, Casey locking up before coming around to her side. Before they started walking, Gabby reached for his hand, Matt glancing towards her as she laced her fingers in his, flashing her a warm smile before they crossed the street.
"It's a nice location." Casey mused, looking around as they got to the sidewalk, the two walking in stride as their hands stayed connected in between them, the somewhat foreign action feeling all too familiar as they walked towards the apartment.
"Yeah, it is."
"Not far from my apartment, either." He continued with a smirk, Gabby eyeing him with an amused grin when they got to the steps, the pair beginning the short climb as the front door opened, surprising both of them.
"Hi, sorry I didn't mean to startle you, I just saw you coming from the window." The older woman spoke with a gentle smile, Matt giving Gabby's hand a squeeze as they grinned back at the lady. "You must be Gabriela."
"I am, but Gabby's fine." She told her, the woman nodding. "And this is Matt." Gabby wasn't sure why she felt the need to introduce him, instead of letting him do it himself, but she did.
"It's nice to meet you both, I'm Lorraine, the realtor for this property. I'm excited to show you around." She told them, beginning to walk inside, Gabby and Matt following after her.
"We're excited to see it." Gabby responded, dropping Matt's hand as he held the door open for her to walk through, the three entering the apartment. From first glance, it looked as great as it had in the pictures, and Gabby was excited to see more of the place.
"So, how long have you two been in the market for an apartment?" She asked as they stepped further inside, giving them a perfect view of the open floor plan.
"Oh, uh-"
"Not long." Matt replied without missing a beat, Gabby glancing towards him. But he wasn't even looking at her, his attention was focused on Lorraine, Matt wearing a soft smile. "Just a couple of months, but we saw this listing online and wanted to check it out as soon as we could, to see if it was as great in person."
"Oh, it definitely is." Lorraine responded, Gabby smiling as she reached for Matt's hand again, their palms clasping together while Matt kept his focus on the realtor, Gabby's free hand coming up to hold onto his arm as she leaned into his side. "And this place is perfect for a young couple like yourselves."
Matt grinned, glancing down to Gabby before looking back up, his eyes moving around the open space. "We like what we're seeing so far, that's for sure." He responded before Lorraine began showing them the place.
As they walked through, Casey became more and more impressed with the place. It was modern, but not uncomfortably so, and it was a decent size with its two bedrooms and two and a half baths. The main part of the apartment was all open, with big windows on either side, Matt not having missed the smirk on Gabby's face when he asked if the glass in the windows was double-paned. For as much as he did like the place, he knew nothing about this neighborhood, and with a ground floor apartment, he wanted to know she was safe. But, from what he could tell, this place was great, and the longer they looked, the more he could see Gabby living here.
"So, what are we thinking?" She asked after they ended up back out in the kitchen, Matt and Gabby standing on one side of the island, while Lorraine stood across from them.
"We really like it, or I do at least. A lot." Gabby spoke with a grin, Matt nodding in agreement. "It's a great place."
"Isn't it? This is a newer building, there's only been one tenant before but he wasn't here very long. And I'm not sure how much you know about the area, but it's a good neighborhood."
"We're both from Chicago, we live close by but we'd never been over here until today, except we might've been in the area for work."
"What do you all do?"
"I'm a firefighter, Gabby is a paramedic." He spoke proudly, Lorraine grinning wide.
"Well, I can assure you, everything here is up to code." She joked, earning chuckles from the pair across from her. "Now, I know this is a big decision, and you all just saw the place, I don't want you two rushing into anything, but I think this would be a great home for you all. I can see you two here for a long time." She spoke, Gabby biting down on her bottom lip before glancing up to Matt, finding him already watching her, wearing a soft grin.
The look in his eyes filled her stomach with butterflies, Matt showing her that look she'd seen from him so many times before. The look that had made her fall in love with him.
"We'll have to talk about it." Casey spoke, breaking their eye contact, Gabby blinking quickly before looking down to the counter, trying to get her heart rate to steady. "But we're definitely interested."
Gabby focused on the steady rise and fall of Matt's chest against her back as they sat in his bathtub, bubbles surrounding them as they decompressed after the long twenty four hours they'd had. With his arms wrapped around her stomach, Gabby was secured against him as she sat in between his legs, her head resting back against his shoulder while they enjoyed the comfortable silence.
The second they got back from looking at the apartment nearly an hour ago, Gabby wanted nothing more than to get into a nice warm bath. Matt delayed those plans slightly, mentioning how they should probably eat something since neither of them had breakfast, Gabby reluctantly agreeing. After their quick lunch, she helped him clean up before the two headed for his bedroom.
Casey was prepared to wait until she was done before he'd hop into the shower, but Gabby surprised him when she came out from the bathroom wrapped in her towel, asking him to join her for her bath. He hadn't been expecting it, especially after everything that happened with Walker, but he agreed without hesitation, Matt getting up from the bed, shedding his clothes as he followed her into the bathroom.
And now they were sitting together in the confined space, the combined warmth of the water and their body heat relaxing both of them. They'd never done this before, taking a bath together. While they'd taken many showers together, and had plenty of fun while doing it, they'd never done this, but as they were sitting here Gabby couldn't help but think of how nice it felt. When they'd shower together, nine out of ten times they'd end up having sex, neither able to keep their hands off one another while they got cleaned up. But this, this was something different. It felt oddly innocent, like it wasn't something they were doing because they knew it would lead to them sleeping together, but they were doing it because they wanted to. Because she wanted to.
Sitting her with him right now made her feel safe. She felt secure in a way that only Matt had been able to provide her, and she longed for that feeling. Right now, she was completely content. And she knew that had everything to do with the man holding onto her.
"This is nice." Casey murmured, Gabby grinning as she felt him lean his head against hers, her eyes staying closed as she traced her finger over the inside of his knee.
"Get out of my head." She muttered with a light chuckle.
"Hmm?"
"Nothing." She replied, feeling him tighten his grip on her. "But you're right, it is… We should do this more often."
Gabby could practically feel the smile that formed on his face, Matt leaning forward to press a kiss against her shoulder, his lips lingering on her skin. "I'm all for it." He spoke quietly, turning his head towards her neck, his jaw resting on her shoulder. "So, how are you feeling about that apartment?" He asked, pressing his lips into her neck, Gabby's smile widening as he peppered gentle, slow kisses over her skin.
"I really loved it." She spoke, feeling him smile against her neck. "It was a great place, I think I could feel at home there." Gabby continued, keeping up her steady movements over his knee. "I know this isn't something I should rush into, but it's the best place I've seen so far… And I really want to get my own place again." She murmured, Matt brushing his thumb softly back and forth over her stomach. "After everything with Bryan… I'm just trying to continue moving forward, and as much as I love Antonio, I need to be on my own again. It's something I need to do for myself, I guess." She breathed out, Matt pressing another kiss to her skin. He was surprised she mentioned Walker at all, Gabby usually steering clear of that topic at all costs, but he was glad she felt comfortable enough to talk about him. Even though it wasn't much, it was still progress. "I don't even know if that makes sense…"
"It does." He responded immediately, Gabby releasing a soft breath. "I felt the same way after Hallie, I just needed to prove to myself I could be on my own again." Gabby nodded, bringing one hand up to rest over his, knowing him speaking of Hallie never really came with many pleasant memories. "I know exactly what you mean… And, if it helps, I think the place is great. I think you'd be happy there." He told her, a soft grin spreading over her face.
"Yeah… I do too." She replied, adjusting her positioning slightly as she leaned back into him, the water moving around them.
They had fallen back into that comfortable silence, Gabby nearly falling asleep a few times, only to quickly wake herself back up, Matt chuckling every time he felt her jostle awake.
"I think you might need a nap." He spoke, Gabby sighing softly.
"Yeah, you're probably right… But I don't wanna move."
"We can stay here a little longer. And you can sleep, if you want. I can wake you up when it's time to get out." He murmured, Gabby nodding as turned her head towards his neck, her forehead pressed against his skin.
"I like that idea." She responded quietly, letting herself relax into him. "You're still going out for drinks with Kelly tonight, right?"
"Yeah, I guess…" He breathed out. Yesterday night on shift, Severide had cornered him, saying he wanted to go out for drinks with him tonight, which Casey wasn't necessarily eager to do. After everything that happened with Walker and Gabby, he didn't really feel like going out for what Matt assumed was to get Kelly laid. But after he'd mentioned it to Gabby, and she encouraged him to go, he told Severide he would. Though he did make it clear that he might need to cancel last minute, depending on how things were going with Gabby.
He wasn't sure what to expect from her once they got off shift, but she seemed to be fine. The thing with Walker hadn't appeared to have her very rattled, at least not anymore, and he wasn't sure what to make of that. He didn't know if she actually was fine, or if she was simply masking her true feelings. Either way, he didn't necessarily like either option. If she was pushing down how much this was affecting her, he knew that at some point, she was bound to get overwhelmed and probably have some sort of breakdown. But if she actually was fine with what happened, that almost worried him more, because that told him Gabby was used to this kind of stuff from Walker, and that thought made him sick.
"Well, that'll be fun. Severide sure does know how to have a good time." Gabby responded, her tired voice filling his ears.
"Yeah, he does. Hopefully he'll find someone relatively quickly, so I won't have to be out all night." He spoke, his words eliciting a soft chuckle from the woman in his arms.
"You'll have fun, I know you will."
"Yeah, you're right… Are you gonna be here when I get back?" He asked, Gabby shrugging in his grasp.
"I hadn't thought about it, do you want me to be?"
"I'd like that, yeah." He responded, his words bringing a smile to her lips. "As long as you don't have anything else to do."
"No, I was just gonna start looking around for some things for my new place, just to get ideas, if I do decide to take that apartment. But I can do that anywhere, as long as you don't mind me borrowing your laptop."
"I don't mind, you know where it is." He responded, pressing a kiss to her head.
"Well then, I guess I'll stay." She murmured, Matt grinning as he slid his hand over her stomach.
"Good." He spoke just as quietly, the two falling back into their calming silence, both content to sit here for a little while longer.
"You ever been here before?" Casey asked as he pulled open the heavy door, Kelly shaking his head as he followed behind his friend.
"No, I don't get on this side of town much." He responded, earning a knowing nod from Casey.
"Well, it's a great place, I think you'll like it." He told him, Severide and Casey walking further into the busy bar, Matt heading straight for the counter.
"Are my eyes deceiving me? Matt Casey, as I live and breathe." The man behind the bar spoke, Casey grinning as he shook his hand.
"Hey Cal, it's good to see you again man." Matt greeted, the bartender smiling wide.
"It's been months since you've been here, I wasn't sure what happened to ya."
"Well, I got that new job, it's been keeping me busy. And some of my coworkers own a bar across town, so I've been going there. But it's good to be back, I didn't mean to be gone this long."
"How's the new job treating you?"
"It's good, it's been good. Everything there is great." Casey replied, glancing towards Severide. "This is actually one of my coworkers, Kelly Severide. He's the other Lieutenant at the firehouse. Thought I'd bring him by, show him where I used to spend most of my nights." Matt responded with a chuckle.
"It's nice to meet you man, I'm Cal."
"Nice to meet you, too." Severide spoke, flashing him a grin as he shook his hand.
"What can I get you two?"
"Just two beers." Casey replied, Cal giving him a nod before getting their drinks.
"So, you used to be at bars every night, huh?" Kelly asked with an amused grin, Casey shrugging as Cal handed them their drinks, Matt giving him a grateful nod before leading Severide towards a table.
"Yeah, used to. After everything with Hallie…" He trailed off, Severide's grin falling. "It was a nice distraction."
"I get that, man." Severide responded, patting him on the shoulder before the two sat down, Kelly looking around the bar. "This looks like a great place, though. Maybe Shay and Dawson could come with us sometime."
"That'd be fun, although Gabby's been here before." He commented, Kelly raising his eyebrows as he took a sip of his beer.
"Ah, you two have a date here or something?" Kelly asked, Matt cocking his head to the side.
"No, this is where we met." He replied, Kelly's eyebrows raising in surprise. Seeing his reaction, Matt waiting for his friend to say something. But when the man remained quiet, Casey spoke up. "What, Sev?"
"Nothing, it's just- I guess I never really heard how all that started anyway… you and Dawson." Severide replied, Matt's eyes narrowing in confusion. "I mean, I know you two said there was no overlap with her and Walker, and I believe you, but if my memory serves me correctly, your first shift was when Walker told everyone they'd broken up, so I guess that means…"
"We met the night before my first shift." Casey clarified, Kelly giving him an understanding nod.
"Ahh."
"Yeah. Walker ended things, and she came here, I guess cause it wasn't a place they ever went, I don't really know. But that's when we met."
"So you were her rebound." Severide spoke, Matt's face scrunching up at his terminology.
"I don't think I'd phrase it like that, but I guess, yeah." He responded, taking a drink. "We didn't know each other, I didn't know she'd just gotten broken up with, I only knew her first name. It wasn't until I saw her at 51 that I found out she was a paramedic, and we definitely never thought we'd end up working together. I didn't expect to ever see her again." Matt explained, Kelly giving him a nod.
"Did you guys start your… arrangement, after that?"
"Not immediately, no. She didn't like me at first, we barely even spoke. But then, I don't know, things changed. And here we are." Casey spoke vaguely, Kelly giving him a nod.
"And everything with you two still going well?" Severide asked, Matt raising his eyebrows.
"It's good." Casey responded, taking a long sip of his beer.
"...What's that like, anyway? Being with Dawson?"
Casey's eyes widened as he started coughing on his drink, Severide soon realizing his friend misunderstood him, Matt choking as his beer went down the wrong way.
"Jesus, I didn't mean it like that." Severide clarified, Matt clearing his throat. "I didn't realize how that sounded- I just meant what is it like being in a relationship with her, I guess without the relationship part." He spoke, Matt clearing his throat one last time before looking back towards Kelly, eyeing him curiously.
"It's good, Sev. I mean, you know Dawson, she's a great person. There was definitely a learning curve, there still is, but we're not dating or anything so it's been pretty easy. It's not the most conventional thing, but I've liked getting to know her. She's fun to be around, we're having fun."
"So it's still just fun for you two?" He questioned, Matt narrowing his eyes.
"Why do you care so much about what's going on with me and Gabby?" Casey answered his question with a question, Severide shrugging as he took another drink.
"I'm just trying to figure you two out. I mean, you're already sleeping together, clearly. According to Shay, you spend most of your time together-"
"You guys are talking about us?" Casey interjected, but Kelly ignored him.
"You two seem to like spending all your time together, Shay says Gabby's at your place more than her own… I guess I don't get why you two don't actually just get together." He finished, Matt running his hand over his mouth, thinking over his next words carefully.
"Okay, for starters, you and Shay need more to do if Gabby and I are the main focus of your conversations." He responded, Kelly blowing out a sigh.
"Don't I know it." He mumbled, Matt rolling his eyes before continuing.
"And second, Gabby's not looking for a relationship, Sev."
"But you are?" He questioned quickly, Casey shaking his head.
"I didn't say that." Matt responded just as quickly, Kelly cocking his head to the side.
"So you two are just gonna keep sleeping together until one of you finds someone you actually wanna be with? Is that the plan?" He questioned, Matt's jaw clenching involuntarily. "Just continue with the meaningless sex until you find the woman of your dreams."
"It's not meaningless sex." Casey defended. Severide raising his eyebrows as he waited for Matt to elaborate. "We're not together, no, but I still care about her. She's my friend, I'm not just using her for sex." He spoke, Severide giving him a shrug.
"But you kind of are. Even though you're friends now, you're still using her for sex. Just like she's using you." Severide spoke, earning a hard look from Casey. "I mean that's how all this started, anyway" Kelly pointed out, Matt grimacing as he clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
"It started out that way, I guess. But the way you make it sound, it's like you're saying I'm only spending time with her just to fuck her." He replied roughly.
"I thought that's why you guys are doing this, though. For easy sex." He pressed, Matt blowing out a frustrated breath.
"Yeah, but that was before." Casey responded, Kelly's eyebrows raising in curiosity.
"Before what?"
"Before we became friends." Matt answered frustratedly, narrowing his eyes. "Seriously, Sev, what is this? Why are you so worried about me and Gabby? I swear, it's like I'm talking to Shay." Matt breathed out, Severide chuckling before he took another drink.
"I'm just curious, we haven't really talked about you and Dawson. I wasn't sure if anything had changed." He replied with a shrug, Matt keeping his curious glare locked on his friend.
"No, nothing's changed."
"Alright." Kelly backed off, Matt shaking his head as he began tapping his finger against his glass, unsure of why Kelly was pushing this so hard. He'd been used to Shay doing this, but he didn't expect it from Severide. Even with Shay, she was rarely ever this insistent. And if she was, she was most likely joking because she knew it annoyed him, and she would eventually drop it when he didn't answer. But Kelly seemed determined to get some sort of information out of him, Casey just didn't know what he was wanting.
"How is she doing, by the way?" Severide's voice snapped him from his thoughts, Matt looking up to see Kelly watching him expectantly. "After what happened with Walker… is she doing okay?"
"She is." Casey responded, unsure of how much to say. "Walker's a fucking asshole, but she's okay."
"I still can't believe he did that." Severide breathed out, shaking his head. "I mean, what did he think was gonna happen? Was he trying to intimidate her, or did he think that would actually be a way to get her to sleep with him," Matt winced at Kelly's words, but Severide missed it, "I don't know, I can't think of any reason that would make him believe that was a good idea."
"I don't think there was a lot of thinking involved." Casey responded quietly, Severide nodding in agreement.
"And what I really don't get is that he knows he's on thin ice at the house already. Everyone can tell Gabby wants nothing to do with him, hell no one else really wants anything to do with him right now either, and once everyone finds out about this? That'll only get worse… I really don't know what his big genius idea was."
"Yeah, I don't know. I doubt he had one." Casey spoke, shrugging softly. "But Boden's letting headquarters take care of it, so I guess we'll see what happens."
"I'll be surprised if he doesn't get suspended." Severide continued, his eyes locking on Casey. "How are you gonna handle all that, though? With Walker?"
Sighing heavily, Matt slowly spun his glass on the table, trying to find an answer for his friend. "Honestly? I don't know. As his boss, he's definitely going to be on probation. I don't care what headquarters does, if he's still at 51 he's doing nothing but grunt work. I didn't really trust him before, but after this…" Casey trailed off, shaking his head as he ran his hand over his mouth. "But then as Gabby's friend, I really just want to beat some sense into him." He breathed out, getting an immediate nod from his fellow Lieutenant.
"Yeah, I understand the impulse." Severide replied, knowing now wasn't the time for a teasing comment about his and Gabby's relationship. "And so does Shay. I swear, I don't think I've ever seen her so angry. She can't even say his name without the words 'kill him' being in there somewhere."
"Yeah, I understand that impulse, too." Matt spoke softly before taking a long sip of his drink, seeing Kelly's eyes move across the bar, a smirk playing across his lips. "What is it?" Casey asked once he brought his drink down, following Kelly's line of sight, landing on two very perky blondes eyeing them both from across the bar. "Ahh, never mind." Matt chuckled, Severide grinning.
"I have a feeling I may have found my entertainment for the evening."
"Well, whatever you do, leave me out of it." Casey spoke with a laugh, Kelly waving him off, his grin widening when the women walked towards them.
"Yeah, I know you've got a girl at home, don't worry about it." Severide spoke, Matt's eyes narrowing as Kelly turned towards the women. "Hello there, ladies." He greeted with a wide smile, both women matching his grin.
"Hi. We noticed you and your friend from across the bar, we haven't seen you around here before."
"Well, my friend used to come here a lot, but not so much lately, so we decided to stop by, see what this place had to offer." Severide spoke with a wink, earning giggles from the women, Matt watching on at the amusing scene in front of him.
"It seems like you've got this under control, Sev. I'm gonna get out of here."
"Oh, you're leaving already?" The blonde closest to him asked with a pout, Kelly chuckling as he watched the woman place her hand on Casey's arm, Matt raising his eyebrows.
"Uh, yeah, I'm gonna get home."
"But the fun hasn't even started yet." She tried, Casey quickly glancing to Kelly, seeing his friend holding back a chuckle.
"My friend here is a taken man, ladies." Severide spoke, Matt seeing the woman beside him visibly deflate. "He's got a girl to get home to."
"Oh… well that's a shame." She muttered, Kelly releasing another laugh.
"Yeah, I'm not sure Gabby would agree with that." Severide joked, Matt rolling his eyes. "But I'd be more than happy to spend some time with you all." He continued, both women moving their attention solely to Kelly.
"You think you can handle us?"
"Only one way to find out." He responded smoothly, Matt shaking his head as he watched these women drool over Severide.
"I'll see you later, man." Casey spoke, flashing a polite smile to the women before sliding down off his seat, Kelly giving him a nod.
"Tell Gabby I said hi." He replied with a grin before looking away from Casey, Matt chuckling as he headed for the exit, the firefighter eager to get back home.
Casey shoved his key into the front door, turning the lock before pushing the heavy wood open, Matt surprised to be met by a completely quiet apartment. When he left an hour and a half ago, Gabby was perched on the couch in one of his t-shirts with his computer in her lap, but she was nowhere in sight now, Matt closing the door behind him, making sure to lock it before stepping further inside.
Dropping his keys on the table by the front door, Casey walked through his apartment, making a stop in the kitchen for a glass of water before walking blindly towards his bedroom. Stepping through the open doorway, Matt grinned when he saw Gabby sleeping soundly in the middle of the bed, her head resting on his pillow as she was tucked under the covers.
As he watched her sleep for a few moments, he couldn't help but think back to Kelly's words from tonight, about how he was just using her, Severide's words leaving a bitter taste in his mouth for the rest of the evening. He absolutely hated the implications of that, how that made it seem like he saw Gabby as nothing more than an object. Because that wasn't the case, not at all.
Kelly's words had also brought back something that Gabby said yesterday to the forefront of his mind; her comment about her giving him sex whenever he wanted being a good incentive to keep her around. Those weren't her exact words, but it was what she meant, and it hadn't sat well with him. The second she said it, he felt uneasy about it. This wasn't something he'd worried about before, but now he couldn't help but think Gabby might be feeling used by him, and the thought made him sick.
Technically, Kelly had been right. They started this for easy sex. But him and Gabby weren't those same people they were when they started this arrangement. They were friends now; best friends, if you asked him, and the thought that Gabby might feel like he was only using her left him with what felt like a heavy weight crushing his chest. And he didn't like it one bit. Matt knew they needed to clear the air, and make sure they were both on the same page. Because even though they weren't dating, he cared about her. He cared about her more than anyone else, and he didn't want to hurt her. He never wants her to feel like she's only some sort of an object for him.
The only problem was that he wasn't sure when would be a good time to have that conversation. With everything Gabby was dealing with right now, he didn't want to pile anything else on top of it. And he knew approaching her out of the blue with a conversation about the two of them would only overwhelm her. He wanted to talk with her, make sure they were both still okay with what they were doing, but he knew that wasn't a conversation to be had anytime soon, especially not tonight. Tonight, he just wanted her to sleep.
Moving as quietly as he could, Casey continued into the room, placing his cup down on the nightstand and putting his phone on the charger before he moved towards his dresser. Pulling out a pair of pajama pants, he made his way to the bathroom, turning on the light before he began his routine to get ready for bed.
He was just finishing up brushing his teeth when he felt arms wrap around his bare waist, Matt smiling once he finished rinsing out his mouth. Slowly, he stood up straight, feeling Gabby press her cheek against his back, his hand coming up to rest over hers, Matt returning his toothbrush to its home.
"Hi." He spoke softly, feeling Gabby tighten her grip.
"Hi." She repeated, Matt feeling her press a kiss in the middle of his back before he turned around in her embrace, seeing the exhaustion present in her features. He was glad to see her asleep when he'd gotten home, knowing she could use the rest, but clearly him getting ready for bed had woken her up. "You got home early." She continued, Matt wrapping his arms around her, his hands rubbing up and down over her back.
"Yes, well Severide found some blondes." He responded, Gabby's nose scrunching up in amusement, her finger tapping against the base of his spine, just above his pajama pants.
"Blondes, huh?"
"Yup. Kelly seemed very intrigued." He spoke, Gabby scoffing lightly.
"Can't say I'm surprised." She replied, leaning forward and resting her head against his chest, relaxing into his hold. "So, I guess the blondes didn't entice you like they did Kelly?" She questioned, Matt chuckling as he shook his head, his hands stopping on her lower back.
"Nah, not my type." He responded, practically able to picture the smile he knew was covering her face. "Although blondes are definitely your type, if present company is any indication." Matt teased, Gabby rolling her eyes even though he couldn't see her.
"Yeah, well, maybe they are." She spoke, feeling him laugh as his chest shook lightly against her cheek. "...I'm just glad my blonde came home." Gabby murmured, her voice barely above a whisper, Matt feeling an immediate warmth spread through his chest at her words as Gabby nuzzled herself deeper into his grip. A small smile formed over his lips, Matt turning his head to press a gentle kiss to the side of her head, unable to explain the feeling rushing through him.
"Yeah, I did." He whispered, his smile growing as they held onto one another.
"So you had fun with Kelly?" She asked after a few quiet moments, Matt hearing how exhausted she was, her voice heavy as he slowly leaned back into the counter, Gabby moving with him.
"Let's just say it was… interesting. Kelly was- well, being Kelly. But I had a nice time." He responded, feeling her body move as she laughed.
"Good, that's good." She spoke through a yawn, Matt pressing another kiss to her head.
"Let's go to bed, yeah?" He suggested, earning a nod from Gabby as she pulled back, sliding her hands around to his waist.
"Yeah." She agreed, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his lips, grabbing his hand in hers before she pulled away, wordlessly dragging him back towards the bedroom.
And there's another one. I've gotta say, it's been kind of fun to keep Casey's actual feelings unclear. I know we all are well aware of Gabby's but we haven't really gotten to hear where Casey's head is at, and, even though I know some of you are eager to figure that out, it's been pretty fun for me I won't lie. It keeps things exciting and I enjoy writing it like this. I hope you all are liking it as well.
I've seen a lot of people expecting Walker to only continue to escalate things, which, I'm not gonna say anything about that, but he's definitely not happy right now. We'll just have to see what happens from here.
Also, I wanted to let you know, I've seen many of you requesting more M-rated scenes. I add them when I can, but I try not to put them unless I feel like it's warranted. I don't know, I don't want anything to come across as cheap I guess. But I definitely hear you guys, I don't want you to feel like I'm ignoring you, I'll try and put more in where I can!
I'm eager to hear your thoughts on this one, especially what you guys are thinking about Casey right now. Do you think he likes her? Do you think he just sees her as a friend? I'm interested to know your thoughts. Thank you all so much for reading this chapter, I hope you all liked it! Your all's support means the world.