Hello everyone! I'm back with the next chapter for you guys. I hope you all had an amazing week last week, and I wanted to thank you all for the Happy Thanksgiving wishes, I hope you all had a great one as well, if you celebrate it.
I know a lot of you are eager to see what's going to happen now after the fallout of Dawson and Casey in the last chapter, so I hope you guys are ready for this. I'm really happy with this chapter, hopefully you all like it as well.
Happy reading.
THIRTY TWO
"Mija, where do you want this one?" Ramon asked as he walked into the new apartment, Gabby glancing over to him from her position in the kitchen, currently sorting through the bags and bags of new essentials her and her mom had gotten for her apartment, in search of her new silverware.
"Uh, just over there in the living room is fine." She responded before returning her attention to the task at hand, Ramon following her directions before heading back outside, going to get another box.
"You know sis," Antonio started as he walked inside, "If I remember correctly, you didn't come with this much stuff when you were staying with me, when'd you accumulate all this?"
"Tony, it's like fifteen boxes, it's hardly anything." She shot back, her narrow eyes finding his before glancing down to the drawer she was currently working on, going back to putting the forks in their new home.
Today was a day she'd been looking forward to for awhile, essentially since she had to move in with her brother; she was finally back in her own place. Ever since coming to visit this apartment with Matt, she'd had her eye on it, and she finally decided to take the plunge. This was the last step she needed to take to completely move on with her life, she needed to get back out on her own, and now she had.
She had finished all the paperwork and gotten the keys a few days prior, and after some intense packing sessions with Antonio, and some shopping trips with her mom, she had managed to get most everything she needed to start the next chapter of her life. Admittedly, she needed a lot of things, more than she realized. When she moved in with Bryan, most of her essentials got thrown away, Walker claiming they didn't need two sets of everything and it was "easier to just keep his". Gabby, not expecting to ever be on her own again, agreed, but when that didn't go as planned, she wasn't left with much that was actually hers. Then living with her brother, she didn't need to purchase all those odds and ends that you needed for a home, so aside from the essentials for herself, she didn't have much. That reality led to a bunch of hefty purchases over the last few weeks, some of which her parents had helped with, which was something Gabby wasn't necessarily comfortable with, but at this time in her life she didn't have much of a choice.
"Gabriela, your bathroom is all set up." Camila spoke as she emerged from the hallway, Gabby flashing her mother an appreciative smile as the older woman walked towards her, stopping on the opposite side of the island. "You'll still need to personalize it how you want, but all the rugs and towels and everything are all set up."
"Thanks mom." She responded, Camila flashing her a warm smile.
"Of course… Your father said the mattress people called, they'll be delivering it later this afternoon, so once he and your brother finish getting the boxes inside, he said he's gonna start working on getting your bed frame together, along with your dresser… I figure between him and Antonio, they can manage to get it all put together without much issue. Although, knowing Ramon, Antonio will probably end up doing most of the work." Camila joked, Gabby nodding with a soft grin, knowing how true her mother's words were.
"Yeah, you're probably right… But I appreciate you guys helping me out with all this today. I know moving isn't the most fun thing to do."
"No thanks necessary, sweetheart." Camila was quick to respond, shaking her head as she walked around the island, coming to stand beside her daughter. "We're happy to help."
"And, uh-" Gabby cut herself off, glancing around to see if her brother was in earshot before she continued. "I'm gonna pay you guys back… for the furniture and everything." She spoke softly, Camila's face softening as she saw her daughter's meek demeanor.
When they had begun preparing for Gabby to move in a couple of weeks ago and they started purchasing the things she would need, it became apparent to both Camila and Ramon that their daughter was hesitant to get any of the bigger purchases. She hadn't come out and said the reason, but knowing that their daughter had the financial strain of this new apartment, along with having to buy almost all new essentials, they soon realized their youngest was a little strapped for cash, and it didn't take long for them to offer to help with some of her purchases.
And Gabby hated it. But she knew she didn't have much of a choice.
"No, you're not." Camila responded, Gabby releasing a heavy sigh.
"Mama-"
"No." She cut her off, shaking her head as she placed a soft hand on her daughter's back. "You will not be paying us back. You can think of it as a house-warming gift, or whatever you'd like, but your father and I want to help. You're having to start your life over, Gabriela, there's nothing wrong with needing a little help." Camila spoke softly, Gabby drawing in a slow breath before nodding, leaning slightly towards her mom, Camila wrapping her arm around her daughter. "And you know your father would never take the money, anyway. He'd give it right back to you." She finished with a laugh, Gabby smiling.
"Yeah, I know…"
"But really, Gabriela, I know you've never been the type to ask for help, but after all you've gone through recently, this is the least your father and I can do. Getting this wonderful apartment, that was all you. And I know if you had to, you could've gotten everything you needed on your own. But you don't have to, mija."
"Thank you, mama." She murmured, turning towards her mom and wrapping her arms around her, Camila reciprocating the action as her hand cradled her daughter's head, the Dawson women taking the quiet moment, only pulling apart when they heard Ramon and Antonio's voices filter into the apartment. Glancing back, Gabby saw her dad and brother walking in, carrying the last of the boxes as their steps slowed, both of them looking back and forth between Gabby and Camila.
"Everything alright, Gabriela?" Ramon asked with a concerned stare, Antonio matching his father's look, Gabby meeting her brother's worried eyes before looking back down towards the drawer she was organizing.
"Oh, everything's fine Ramon." Camila waved him off, effectively deflecting the attention off her daughter. "Are you two going to get to work on the bed, or just continue bickering?"
"It wasn't me, Ma." Antonio defended immediately, Camila flashing her son a soft smile as she shook her head.
"Of course it wasn't, Antonio." She replied, shooting Ramon a knowing look as the detective wore a proud smile. "But you two need to get to work, I want you two done with the furniture in the bedroom before lunch, now move." She ordered, both men nodding, dropping the boxes off in the living room before heading towards the bedroom, leaving Gabby and her mom alone yet again. "I honestly don't know how they ever get anything done." She breathed out, Gabby shaking her head in amusement as they went back to work.
Gabby and her mom had been working seamlessly as they finished putting away everything in the kitchen, the mid-morning sun streaming in through the big bay windows as they worked, the pair in a comfortable silence except for when Camila would ask from some direction as to where her daughter wanted certain things. Everything was coming together nicely, and, from the occasional banging and cursing they could hear from down the hallway in the bedroom, they assumed things were progressing, albeit slowly, with her bedroom furniture as well.
The mother and daughter had been working in the living room, getting boxes sorted and put in the appropriate room, Gabby having been running her boxes of clothes to the bedroom while her mother worked on getting things that belonged in the living room unpacked.
"So, I was thinking about running to the deli a few blocks over for lunch, maybe get a few of those sandwiches your father loves." Camila prompted when her daughter appeared in the living room, Gabby giving her a nod and a slight smile.
"Sounds good, I'd say Papa's earned it." She responded with a grin.
"Yes, I suppose he has… Uh, is it just gonna be us four?" She questioned, Gabby's head tilting to the side in curiosity, Camila elaborating when she sensed her daughter's confusion. "I wasn't sure if any of your friends would be stopping by…" Gabby's body tensed slightly, changing her path as she headed towards the kitchen. "I didn't know about Shay, Severide… or Matt," Gabby's eyes fell closed when the last name left her mom's lips, the youngest Dawson suddenly very thankful that her back was facing her mom, "I wasn't sure if they'd be coming to help, or if they were busy."
"Uh," Gabby cleared her throat, plastering a smile on her face before turning around, "it'll just be us. They were busy." She replied shortly, Camila pursing her lips together before merely giving a nod, knowing better than to push the topic.
"Well, that's a shame. But at least they'll be able to see your apartment once it's all finished." She replied, Gabby giving her a tight lipped smile before changing the subject.
"Dad had just finished up the bed and they were about to start on the dresser. I think really all that's left is getting my clothes put away, which I can do."
"Oh, I don't mind helping." Camila responded. "Plus I know your father wants to be here when the mattress delivery people get here, anyway."
"Okay, if you're sure. I don't want to take your whole day."
"That's why we're here, Gabriela." She spoke, Gabby nodding before walking over to the couch, sitting down next to her mom. "I can't speak for Antonio, but your father and I will be here until everything's done."
"Thanks Mama." She murmured, Camila patting her daughter's leg. "For everything." She added, the older Dawson pressing a kiss to the side of her daughter's head.
"You're welcome, mija." She replied, giving her another kiss before they refocused on the task ahead of them.
Many hours and petty disagreements later, Gabby's apartment had been finished, or as finished as it was going to be today. There was still some furniture she was waiting on that wouldn't arrive for a few days, but everything she had had been put away in its new home, the once bare apartment now full of life.
"It looks beautiful, Gabriela." Camila spoke, glancing to her husband who was checking one last time that the curtains he'd put up over her windows were sturdy, Ramon wanting to make sure his daughter had her privacy.
"Yeah, it all looks really good. Thank you all again, for all your help." She replied, Camila bringing her into a hug.
"You've got to stop thanking us, it was nothing. We're just glad everything got done." Camila spoke, rubbing her daughter's back before they pulled apart. "But once you get your dining table, your father and I would love to come over for dinner." She added with a grin, Gabby chuckling as she gave her mother a knowing nod.
"Of course, Mama." She responded before turning her attention to her dad, Ramon bringing her in for a tight hug.
"This is a wonderful apartment, mija. I think you'll be very happy here."
"Me too." She agreed, smiling when her dad kissed her head before they separated, Gabby glancing towards her brother who was still seated at the counter, the older Dawson giving her a nod, silently telling her he was sticking around a little later than her parents.
"Your father and I are gonna get home, let you enjoy your evening in your new place." Camila spoke, Gabby giving her a nod before leading her parents to the door. "We love you, sweetheart."
"I love you, too." She responded, giving her parents one last hug before they left the apartment, Gabby waiting until they had gotten down to the sidewalk and began towards their car before stepping back inside her home, closing the door and locking it in place.
Moving through the foyer, Gabby soon saw her brother right where she left him, the older Dawson downing another sip of his beer as Gabby moved towards her fridge, grabbing one for herself.
"You want another one, Tonio?" She offered, Antonio shaking his head in response, Gabby nodding before shutting the door, moving back towards the counter.
"I think everything came together nicely." He commented, Gabby's eyes moving around her new apartment. Her brother was right, compared to how empty the place had been when they arrived this morning, it looked very good. Her living room was almost completely done, her dad's and brother's last project of the night having been to mount her TV on the wall, while Gabby and her mother worked on the more personalized touches around her apartment. There were still a few odds and ends she needed to get, but she felt comfortable here already; it felt like home. Or it at least felt like it could become that.
"Yeah, I appreciate your alls help… it definitely would've taken me days to do on my own." She responded before cracking open her beer, knocking back a rather large gulp.
Antonio watched his sister closely for a moment, doing what he could to get a read on her. He knew something was going on with her, even though she'd done everything she could to hide it. Starting a few weeks ago, his sister had been acting different, and from the sheer amount of time she'd spent at his apartment in that time, he had a good idea the reason for the shift in her demeanor had to do with Casey.
But he never pushed it, Antonio knowing that if she wanted to talk about it, she would. Although, in typical Gabby fashion, she said nothing, and kept to herself.
Though he never questioned it, Antonio wasn't blind. It was easy enough to figure out her solemn attitude the last few weeks had directly to do with a certain Lieutenant, but what he didn't know was why. And he also didn't know what had happened to keep not only Matt from being here today, but Shay and Severide as well.
Up until recently, Antonio knew Casey would've been his sister's first call when she needed help moving, most likely followed by Shay, who would enlist the help of Severide. But neither of those calls had happened today, and he couldn't help but be curious as to what happened there.
But he knew it started with Casey. With the firefighter and his sister being… whatever they were, he knew it was a safe bet to assume something happened between them. But for his sister to be seemingly distancing herself from Shay, that was even more concerning.
"You good?"
Gabby's voice snapped him from his thoughts, Antonio's vision coming into focus as he found his sister watching him closely, the woman holding her beer up to her lips.
"Yeah, yeah I'm good." He responded after a few seconds, Gabby giving him an unconvinced nod before taking another sip of her drink.
"Alright, if you say so… You seemed to have spaced out a little bit there." She continued with a chuckle, Antonio giving her a soft shrug as a small smile formed over his lips.
"Yeah, well, I was just thinking about how I don't know what I'm gonna do now that I don't have my sister ten feet away anymore." He replied, Gabby's grin widening as she leaned her body weight into the counter.
"Oh, I think you'll be fine." She spoke, shaking her head in amusement. "Plus you know where I am if you get lonely."
"Yeah, I do… And the same goes for you, you know." He responded, his voice turning more serious than he intended, the tone in his words gaining her attention. Thinking over her behavior the last three weeks, Antonio hadn't seen her this upset in awhile, not since everything that happened with Walker. And he hated it. He hated seeing his baby sister so sad, especially considering she wouldn't be around for him to keep an eye on her anymore. But even though they weren't living together anymore, he could still make sure she knew she always had him to lean on.
"I know, Tony." She murmured, flashing him a small smile. "I always know where you are."
"Good." He responded quickly, taking a small sip of his drink. "Because you know I'm here for you, with whatever it is." He added pointedly, Gabby drawing in a deep breath.
"...I really don't want to talk about it, Antonio." She replied, her soft voice meeting his ears.
"And I won't make you." He confirmed, seeing her body relax as she met his gaze yet again. "But as long as you know I'm here for you, if you need someone to talk to."
"I do know that, but I'm fine… Nothing I can't handle. But I'll let you know if that changes." She assured him, Antonio giving her a nod before taking another drink.
"Alright, that's good enough for me." He responded, Gabby tilting her beer bottle towards him before taking a sip. "So, what's on your agenda this evening? Mom really made sure we left you with nothing to put away on your own." He spoke jokingly, his words earning a soft chuckle from his sister.
"Yeah, she was determined to get this done. I'm glad, though, it makes this easier on me... But, uh, tonight I've gotta close Molly's, I actually need to get going here soon." She responded thoughtfully, glancing back towards the clock to check the time.
"Ah, so you've got a late night ahead." He responded, pushing himself up from the stool he was sitting on, finishing off his beer before walking around the counter.
"Yeah, I definitely do."
"Well, try and get some sleep tonight, sis. I know you work tomorrow." Antonio spoke, placing a quick kiss to her cheek before heading for her front door, Gabby following behind him.
"I will, thank you again for all your help today."
"You've gotta quit thanking everyone, Gabs." He replied, giving her a tight hug before turning towards the door. "We're family, using our days off to help you move is what we do." He spoke, Gabby chuckling softly as he stepped outside.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll see you later, Tonio."
"Bye sis." He responded, flashing her a warm smile before heading down the steps, leaving Gabby all alone in her brand new apartment.
Gabby moved around in the stock room, doing what she could to keep herself busy so she wouldn't have to go back out into the bar any time soon. Despite the large room, the air out there felt suffocating, there being a few too many people she didn't want to see, making it hard for her to focus on her job. So when Herrmann mentioned there was still a bit of their latest shipment that needed to be inventoried, she jumped at the chance to get away from not only the uncomfortable tension between her and a certain firefighter that had come to the bar tonight, but also between her and her partner.
Part of her knew she was being childish, she did. She was childish for avoiding her friends and keeping to herself, but it was the only way she knew how to deal with this. And it wasn't even working all that well. Despite her best efforts to avoid Casey over the last few weeks, there was only so much she could do when they spent twenty-four hours together at a time. But avoiding him was better than having to face him and deal with the fallout of their ended… whatever it actually was.
Which, according to Casey, they were nothing. And that hurt more than she would ever admit.
Hearing from the man she had fallen in love with that she meant nothing to him, that they were nothing, it was exactly what she was afraid of. It's why she could never find the courage to talk to him about what she was feeling, because deep down, a part of her always knew. She knew she didn't mean anything to him. It was just sex, he only saw her as an easy fuck. And a part of her couldn't even be mad at him for it. Because she's the one who started this, she's the one who approached him, she's the one who made their arrangement very clear… but she was also the one who fell in love with him. And she never should've let herself do that. Because she meant nothing to him, and he would never want to be with someone like her. He wanted a woman like Hallie, and that wasn't her. And she didn't need to have some long, drawn-out conversation with him just for him to tell her what she already knew.
She wasn't someone he wanted to be in a relationship with, she was someone he wanted to fuck. That was it. And she didn't need the humiliation of him telling her that to her face. The night in this very room three weeks ago had been bad enough, she didn't need a more in-depth version of that conversation.
Gabby was so caught up in her own head that she didn't hear the door open, or feel the presence of the blonde standing behind her as she worked. It wasn't until she turned around did she notice them standing there, Dawson jumping out of her skin as she brought her hand up over her chest.
"Jesus Shay." She breathed out, feeling her heart pound in her chest, the blonde cocking her head to the side.
"Sorry, I thought you heard me."
"No, I didn't. I would've said something had I known you were there." Gabby replied, Shay's eyebrows raising.
"Yeah, well after how you've been acting these last few weeks, I wasn't sure." She responded, Gabby's eyes falling closed as she drew in a deep breath.
"Shay… I really don't have the energy for a fight right now." Gabby spoke, turning back around, trying to make herself appear busy, even though there wasn't much left for her to do.
"I'm not trying to fight with you, I just wanna talk." She tried, Gabby huffing out a heavy breath.
"Yeah, I really don't have the energy for that, either." Dawson mumbled, Shay shaking her head as she took a step closer to her friend.
"I'm worried about you, Gabby." She spoke softly, watching as Dawson's shoulders deflated slightly. "And I know you keep saying you're fine, but you're not, you're clearly not fine. And you shouldn't be… But you shutting me out isn't helping anything."
"I'm not shutting you out." Gabby defended herself, even though she knew Shay was right. "I'm just… I don't wanna talk about it."
"Okay so you're not shutting me out, you don't wanna talk about it, but if that's all this is, how does what happened between you and Casey have anything to do with you moving into a new apartment?" She asked, Gabby able to hear the slight edge of hurt in her voice as she turned around.
"...How'd you find out about that?" Dawson asked, meeting her friend's gaze.
"I think the better question is why didn't I find out from you." Shay countered, Gabby drawing in another heavy breath, crossing her arms over her chest as her eyes flashed down towards the ground.
"Well, I know you're mad at me, so I didn't think it was worth mentioning."
"I'm not mad at you, Gabby." Shay responded without hesitation, taking another step closer to her distant friend. "I'm not mad, and you know that. I'm worried, and yeah, I think you're being a little stupid about all this-" Gabby's face hardened as the words left the blonde's lips, but Shay continued, "don't even give me that, ever since you and Casey ended things-"
"He ended things." Gabby clarified, Shay raising her eyebrows, clearly unconvinced.
"From what I've heard, if anything it was the both of you... and, regardless, how hard did you fight it?" She challenged, Gabby opening her mouth to defend herself but she quickly closed it. "You didn't even try to talk to him, you closed yourself off like you always do, instead of just talking to him."
"I don't wanna have this conversation." Gabby breathed out, shaking her head before turning back around, distancing herself from the blonde.
"I know... you haven't wanted to talk about anything since this happened. You've barely spoken to me at all except about work… Since you and Casey broke up, you've been pushing me away and I don't know why."
Gabby's back straightened at Shay's choice of words, Dawson clenching her jaw tightly as she gripped her hands together. "Matt and I were never together." She replied through gritted teeth, Shay blowing out a heavy sigh before she moved closer to Gabby, coming to stand by her side.
"No, you weren't together." She spoke softly, Gabby focusing her gaze down, refusing to look towards her friend. "But you loved him… you are in love with him, it might as well have been a breakup to you."
Shay had hoped her words would break down some of the walls Gabby had placed so highly around herself, but they had seemed to only do the opposite as the blonde saw her friend's entire body tighten. When Dawson finally looked up again, Shay was shocked to see a darkness in her friend's gaze, Gabby staring at her with almost dead eyes, doing what she could to mask the pain she was in, although Shay could see right through it.
"I really don't want to talk about this." Gabby's voice was barely audible, Shay pursing her lips together before giving her a slight nod. "I know you mean well, I know you're trying to help, but I just- I can't. I can't talk about this right now." Shay's face softened when she heard the desperation in Dawson's voice, Gabby blinking tightly before continuing on. "I'm sorry I've been distant, I am… and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about getting the apartment. I started everything a while ago, and I didn't want to say anything in case it didn't happen, and then I found out after everything with Matt-" She cut herself off, shaking her head as a slight frown pulled on Shay's lips. "...But I'm sorry, for not telling you. I'd love for you to come see it sometime."
"Of course." Shay replied softly, gently placing her hand on Gabby's back, rubbing up and down soothingly, Dawson's hard gaze softening as she saw the worry in her friend's eyes. "...You know I just want you to be okay, right?" She questioned, Gabby biting down on the inside of her cheek. "I know things are hard, and I know you've mostly been dealing with everything on your own… And I also know you know this already, but I'm here if you need anything."
"I know, Shay." She responded softly, flashing her a weak smile before Shay brought her in for a quick hug.
"I love you, Dawson." She murmured, rubbing her arm. "Even when you're being a pain in my ass." She added with a chuckle, her grin widening when she heard Gabby laugh at her side.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know." She responded, smacking Shay's side before pulling away, the two women smiling as a lighter air filled the air around them.
Although Shay hadn't gotten her to really say much, she was definitely glad to see Dawson was at least talking to her. That hadn't so much been the case the last few weeks, Gabby so much as hiding out in the firehouse to avoid Shay some days, but at least she was acknowledging how she'd been acting now. It wasn't much, but it was a start. And if it was anyone other than Dawson, Shay probably wouldn't have put up with it for this long, but she figured after everything Gabby had been through, she deserved a little grace in this situation.
But no matter how much Shay tried to give her space, and wanted to let her work through things on her own, she wished Gabby would just talk to someone. Because if her friend's solemn demeanor and obvious signs of exhaustion recently were any indication, Gabby wasn't doing well. But if she wouldn't let anyone in, there wasn't much that could be done to help her.
"Alright, well I'll let you get back to work, wouldn't want Herrmann to come in here and give me shit for distracting you." Shay joked, Gabby shaking her head as she followed Shay towards the door.
"Don't worry, I finished already. You'd be off the hook." Gabby responded, Shay chuckling as the two women walked back out into the bar, immediately seeing that Herrmann needed some assistance as the line at the bar had started to back up.
As the night wore on, Gabby did what she could to keep her focus off of the firefighter sitting across the bar, even though she could feel his eyes on her multiple times throughout the evening. She wasn't even sure how she could tell, she refused to look his way the entire night, but something in the air shifted whenever he looked at her; she could just sense his eyes on her and she wished he'd stop. But she figured she should be thankful he was only watching and hadn't approached her.
And Shay had been helping keep things light, too. Knowing Gabby was struggling, Shay did what she could to keep any and all conversation off of any heavy topics, the two friends opting to catch up after not having many chances to talk over the last few weeks.
But the air soon shifted when Gabby's gaze inadvertently found Casey's table. She hadn't meant to look his way, and when she saw the scene in front of her, she wished she'd never looked up from the bar as she took in the sight of a leggy blonde practically throwing herself at him, and Matt not doing much to send her away. Gabby tightened here grip on the glass in her hand, unable to tear her eyes away from Matt as the woman rubbed her hand over his arm, Casey flashing her a smile before he glanced to Severide.
Gabby couldn't see Kelly's face, she couldn't see what his reaction to this woman was, but based on how Matt was acting, neither of them had any problem with the blonde hanging off of Casey. Although she guessed she shouldn't be surprised; Gabby and Matt met at a bar, they slept together hours after they first met, there was no reason to think Matt hadn't continued that pattern once they went their separate ways. But that didn't mean the thought of him being with someone else didn't make her stomach turn, that the thought of him moving on made her heart drop.
Moving on.
The words sounded stupid even in her head, Gabby clenching her neck as she kept her gaze on Matt. While Gabby had to move on, she knew the same couldn't be said for him. He didn't feel anything for her, there was nothing to move on from, aside from having to find someone else to take home. Absolutely nothing had changed for him, and that reality never got any easier.
She had almost forced herself to look away, not wanting to see the middle of what was sure to end in Matt taking this woman home, when the unnamed blonde leaned in towards Matt, Gabby watching as she whispered in his ear while her hand ran over his arm.
Gabby wasn't sure what had been said, but by the wide-eyed look that covered his face she figured it was nothing appropriate, Gabby feeling a lump form in her throat as she watched the scene in front of her.
But it wasn't until she felt a hand on her arm that she finally snapped from her trance, Gabby flinching at the unexpected contact as she accidentally dropped the glass in her hands, the loud room quieting considerably as the sound of the glass shattering against the ground filled the air.
"Whoa, Gabby." Shay spoke, pulling her friend back away from glass, Gabby blinking tightly as she felt multiple pairs of eyes on them.
"Sorry, I'm sorry- I just… you scared me, the glass slipped." She responded quickly, Shay's eyebrows furrowing when she saw Gabby's unsteady demeanor.
"It's okay, nothing to worry about." Shay replied instantly, Gabby nodding before her gaze moved back across the bar, her eyes immediately locking on Matt's, seeing him watching her with concern. His eyebrows were furrowed, his lips turned down into a slight frown, Casey suddenly not even realizing the blonde was still next to him as he focused his gaze solely on her, Gabby blinking quickly before returning her attention back to Shay.
"I'm gonna get this cleaned up." Gabby spoke before crouching down, beginning to pick up the broken glass.
"Wait, Dawson- let me get a broom, you're gonna hurt yourself." Shay said quickly, Gabby shaking her head.
"No, no it's okay, I've got- shit." She hissed, immediately dropped all the glass in her hands as her palm began stinging, Gabby immediately pressing into her hand as she felt blood trickling down her skin.
"Dammit Gabby." Shay murmured before looking back, seeing Herrmann close by. "Herrmann, get me a new towel from the back." She ordered, the older man nodding, following her directions without question.
"I'm fine, Shay." She spoke through gritted teeth, Shay shaking her head as she crouched down beside her friend, gently grabbing her wrist to get a better look at her hand, grimacing instantly even though the cut was blocked by Gabby's other hand.
"That's a lot of blood." She said under her breath, wincing slightly.
"What happened?"
Shay and Dawson both looked up at the voice, seeing Casey leaning over the bar, glancing down at Gabby with that same look of concern shining in his eyes.
"Nothing, I'm fine." Gabby responded quickly, Shay shooting her an unimpressed look before looking up to Casey.
"She sliced her hand on the glass." Shay answered, Matt's frown deepening.
"How bad is it? Does it need stitches?" He questioned again, Gabby huffing out a breath.
"I'm fine."
"I'm not sure." Shay interrupted, both of them ignoring her words. "I'll need to get a better look at it."
"Are either of you listening to me?" Gabby interjected, Shay shooting her a look.
"Hush, you're not in charge here." Shay fired back, Herrmann coming up behind them, holding out the new towel to Shay. "Thanks Herrmann."
Shay grabbed the towel, prying Gabby's uninjured hand away from the cut, grimacing again when she took in the amount of blood pooling in her palm.
"Do you need anything, Shay? Dawson?" Herrmann asked, Shay shaking her head.
"No, I've got it, Herrmann, just take care of the customers." She responded, the man clasping her on the shoulder before walking away, deterring the customers away from the scene towards the end of the bar. "Well… it doesn't look like you'll need stitches, but you are bleeding an awful lot for a cut that small."
"I told you I was fine." Gabby murmured, her eyes cautiously looking up towards Matt, but he wasn't looking at her, his gaze was focused on her injured hand, the worry never lifting from his eyes.
"Okay, well you're not fine, but it's not as bad as it looks… I think you should go ahead and get out of here, Dawson. Herrmann and I have got this covered, why don't you just call it a night." Shay spoke, holding the towel to her palm.
"Are you sure? I don't mind staying." Gabby responded, Shay shaking her head before standing up, slowly pulling Gabby up with her.
"No, you go… As long as you're feeling okay." Shay spoke, eyeing her best friend carefully. "You're not feeling lightheaded or anything, are you?"
"No, no, I'm good." Dawson replied quickly, her gaze flashing to Matt, seeing him completely focused on her, Gabby suddenly feeling vulnerable under his stare. "But, uh, I think you're right… I think it'd be good for me to head home."
"Do you want me to drive you?" Matt offered immediately, both Shay and Dawson looking towards him.
"I'm fine, Casey." She answered softly, shaking her head as she stepped away from the bar.
"Are you sure? I don't mind." He tried again, but Gabby stood her ground.
"No, it's okay… go back to your date, I'm fine." She spoke, Matt's eyes falling closed as her words hit his ears.
"Gabby…"
"I'm gonna head out, Shay. I'll see you tomorrow." She cut him off, Gabby refusing to look his way again as she walked back to her friend, heading towards the back.
Casey kept his eyes on her until she was out of sight, a heavy sigh leaving his lips before he glanced back towards Shay, seeing her eyes already on him.
"She's not fine." Matt spoke up first, Shay narrowing her eyes.
"No shit, Sherlock." She bit back, Casey quickly matching her glare.
"Why are you mad at me? I tried to help, I've tried to help, multiple times over the last few weeks, and she doesn't want to hear it. What else am I supposed to do?"
"Maybe stop flirting with women at Dawson's bar, that's a start." She snapped, Matt huffing out an annoyed breath.
"She came onto me." He defended, Casey wincing as the words left his lips, both of them knowing it wasn't much of a defense.
"And you didn't exactly stop it, did you?" She fired back quietly, doing a quick glance around to ensure no one they knew was hearing this conversation.
"Well, why should I?" He replied exasperatedly, Shay not bothering to stop herself from rolling her eyes, the action causing Casey's spine to straighten, Matt doing his own glance around the bar before leaning forward, lowering his voice. "Gabby made it very clear, she's done with all this. I know I fucked up, I said some things to her that I shouldn't have said, but ever since our fight here a few weeks ago, she's shut me out every time I've tried to talk to her, so eventually I took the hint and left her alone…"
"Yeah, well you're the one who told her you two were nothing."
"Because she was acting like we were!" He responded frustratedly, Shay shushing him almost immediately when a few pairs of eyes landed on them. Knowing this wasn't a conversation to be had here, Shay began walking around the bar, roughly grabbing Casey's arm, yanking him along behind her as they got outside, the paramedic walking a good distance away from the bar's entrance before stopping. "I'm sorry, but she was." Casey continued once they were alone, Shay crossing her arms over her chest. "I was doing what she wanted, you know how many times she reminded me that what we were doing was just sex? How many times she reminded me she didn't want a relationship? I was doing what she told me she wanted. And she's moved on from all this now, so what exactly am I supposed to do? Why should I wait around when she's made it clear she's done with all this?"
"God, you are so dense." Shay muttered in annoyance, Casey's eyes narrowing.
"Yeah, and why is that exactly? How does me doing what she wants make me 'dense'? Every day for a fucking week I tried to talk to her. That morning after everything happened at Molly's, I tried to get her to talk, I tried to apologize but she didn't wanna hear it. So, to me, that pretty much only means one thing… Unless you know something I don't, there's nothing for me to do here." He replied angrily, Shay biting down on her tongue roughly to keep herself from saying something she shouldn't. "I'm just-... her and I are done, Shay." His voice had softened, the paramedic hearing the almost defeated tone in his voice. "She completely avoids me, even when I'm not trying to talk to her… She won't even look at me, so as far as I can tell, her and I are over... Things just weren't meant to work out, I guess."
"What are 'things'?" Shay asked without missing a beat, Casey raising his eyebrows.
"What?" He questioned, the shorter blonde huffing out a breath.
"You said 'things weren't meant to work out', what does that mean? What are 'things'?" She clarified, Matt's tongue running along the inside of his cheek.
"I-..."
"This is exactly the problem." Shay cut in, shaking her head in frustration. "This is why Gabby is hesitant with you, because you never actually say anything."
"What are you talking about?"
"You say all this stuff to her, you make all these promises and assurances, but then whenever someone asks you the simplest question about what you two are actually are, you can't give an answer. Do you not see the problem here?" She questioned rhetorically, Matt releasing a heavy sigh. "How the hell is Gabby supposed to know what's going on in your head when you do that bullshit?" She asked, her words sharp as Casey narrowed his eyes.
"I've told her time and time again that I'm here for her, that I'm not going anywhere, and it never seems to stick-"
"But did you tell her that as her friend, or as the guy who's in love with her?" Shay cut in bluntly, Matt swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat. "Have you actually told her how you feel?" She rephrased the question, but still she got no answer. "...You're getting mad at her for not letting you in-"
"I'm not mad at her-" Casey interjected, finally finding his voice, but Shay gave him a pointed stare, telling him to be quiet.
"You're mad at her for not letting you in, but you're not letting her in, either." She repeated, Matt clenching his jaw. "As far as she can tell, this is just sex to you… And she's scared, Matt."
"I know she is." He responded almost immediately. "I know she's scared, but I don't know what she's scared of. And there's only so much I can do if she won't trust me."
"You really think she doesn't trust you?" Shay asked, shaking her head in disbelief. "God, you're more dense than I thought." She muttered under her breath before continuing. "Casey, I don't think there's anyone she trusts more than you. I know she's got walls up, but you and I both know trust really isn't the issue here… at least not with you." She spoke, Matt's face softening as he took a deep breath. "Trust has nothing to do with this, she's scared, Matt… She's scared because she doesn't know what she is to you. As far as I can tell, she has no idea what she actually means to you. For all she knows, you only see her as a good fuck."
"That's not what this is." He defended, Shay's words leaving a heavy feeling in his gut.
"Then what is it, Casey? Because you haven't made that clear to her… You've said all these things about how you tell her this and you tell her that, but have you actually told her how you feel? Have you sat down and told her what this means to you? What she means to you?" She asked, even though she already knew the answer.
Shay's words hung in the air momentarily, Casey remaining silent, the paramedic giving him a second to wait and see if he had anything to say. But when he didn't speak up, she continued.
"Look, I know things between you two got all messed up, but that's not just on her. You want her to let you in, but it doesn't seem like you've really let her in, either… And after what you went through with Hallie, I get it. You're protecting yourself… But Gabby's been through hell, too. With everything Bryan put her through, I can understand why she's apprehensive-"
"I'm not him." He cut in quickly, his voice rigid, like he was offended at the possible accusation.
"I know you're not, I'm not saying you are." Shay clarified, shaking her head. "But after all he put her through, not to mention what he did that we have no idea about, I understand why she's scared… She doesn't know where you two stand, and she can't let herself get hurt again." She spoke softly, Matt drawing in a slow breath.
"But if that's what this is, why didn't she just tell me? Why does she keep pushing me away…"
"Because you haven't told her how you feel, either." Shay responded, Matt releasing a heavy breath. "Look Casey, I think this goes deeper than what you and I can really understand… everything with Walker, and then her reaction to not being pregnant, I think there's more to this that we'll probably never know about, and if she doesn't want to talk about that, you can't make her. But what you can do is let her know where you're at… That's what you can do for her, because right now she doesn't know. And if she means to you what I think she does, you need to tell her." Shay added knowingly, Casey running his tongue along his bottom lip, the paramedic's eyes narrowing slightly. "...But only if you really mean it," She warned, "because I swear to God, Casey, I can't watch her get her heart broken again."
A thick silence filled the evening air around them, the sounds of the city in the distance the only noise to be heard as Matt thought over Shay's words, his mind racing as he tried to process the events of the last ten minutes.
"I've gotta get back in there," Shay spoke up, knowing she'd done all she could do. "But just so we're clear, me telling you all this, it wasn't to get you to go and fix things with Dawson just because you feel like you should… If you don't feel anything for her, don't make this worse by giving her empty promises, because you and I both know she's heard all that before…" She continued, Matt wincing slightly, "But if you do want to fix this, you need to do it soon.. Because if both of you are just waiting around for the other to make the first move, this thing between you two really will be over."
Shay walked back towards the bar without another word, gripping his arm comfortingly as she passed him, leaving a stunned Casey out alone out on the sidewalk, knowing the firefighter had some important decisions to make.
Decisions he could only make on his own.
"How's the hand?"
Dawson looked up from the clipboard in her grasp as she stood at the back of the ambulance, finding Casey standing a few feet from her, his hands shoved in his pockets as he eyed the white bandage wrapped around her palm.
"...It's fine." She responded softly, Matt nodding before taking a hesitant step forward, Gabby refocusing her attention on the papers in her hands. "It wasn't as bad as it looked." She added, unsure of what to say, Dawson hating the awkward tension in the air.
"Good, that's good, I'm glad you're okay." He responded, Gabby giving a slight nod even though she wasn't facing him, the paramedic hearing him clear his throat before he spoke up again. "...So, uh, I guess congratulations are in order."
Dawson raised her eyebrows curiously as she glanced back over her shoulder, seeing a soft smile resting on his face, her eyes darting around as she waited for him to elaborate.
"I heard you and Shay in the locker room this morning… you moved into that apartment?... The one we looked at?" He questioned, Gabby swallowing thickly as she nodded.
"Yeah, I did."
"I'm glad." He responded with a gentle grin, "I know how much you loved that place, I'm sure you'll be happy there."
Unsure of how to respond, Gabby merely nodded, giving him a tight-lipped smile before turning away from him, her shoulders tensing slightly when she heard him take a step closer.
"So, uh, how have you been-"
"What are you doing, Matt?" She finally asked, placing the clipboard down in the back of the ambulance before turning around to face him, seeing a wary look in his eyes.
"I'm just checking in with you… these last few weeks, it's been a lot." He responded, Gabby's eyes falling closed as she brought her hand up to rub over the side of her face. "I know you've been avoiding me, and I know you want me to leave you alone, but we need to talk, Gabby."
"I think we've both said all we need to." She replied without hesitation, opening her eyes in time to see him shaking his head.
"No. We need to sit down and actually talk. There's a lot of things I need to tell you, that we need to discuss…"
"Why? I've heard all you had to say already." She responded, Matt pursing his lips together. "I'm nothing to you, we were nothing… I'm pretty sure I don't need any more details on that, I got it."
"You're not nothing to me." He spoke, keeping his voice steady as Dawson clenched her jaw tightly. "You're not, and you need to know how sorry I am for saying that. Because it's not true." He continued, taking another step closer, Gabby forcing herself to meet his gaze. And when she did, she saw nothing but regret. "I thought I was doing what you wanted, I thought you wanted this- us, to be nothing. I thought that's what you needed, but I never meant for it to all get so messed up." He breathed out, frustration seeping through his words. "I never meant to hurt you."
"Matt…"
"I'm sorry, Gabby. I really am. I'm sorry for not being more open with you, and I'm sorry for expecting that of you when I wasn't doing it, either. I'm sorry for the things I said, you have to know that. I know I hurt you, and I know I haven't been completely transparent with everything, with how I feel, and what this means to me… and that's not fair to you. But you've gotta know, I-"
Casey's words were cut off when the bells rang throughout the house, calling all companies to a warehouse fire, Matt shaking his head as he stepped away from the ambulance. This wasn't a conversation he could finish now, and they both knew it.
"Can we finish this later?" He asked, Gabby giving a slow nod, too stunned to speak, before he moved towards his rig.
Dawson's throat felt dry as she slammed the back doors shut, her heart pounding in her chest as she tried to figure out exactly what Matt was about to tell her. Of course, there were words she was hoping he'd tell her, but realistically she knew there were a thousand possibilities of what he was actually about to say, and the waiting made her anxious.
"You good, Dawson?" Shay asked as she got to the rig, seeing Gabby clearly lost in her own head.
"Yeah, yeah I'm good." She responded, Shay giving her a nod before they got in, Gabby knowing she needed to focus on the task at hand.
When they pulled up to the scene, Dawson could already tell it was a bad one, the building up in flames as people were filtering out, doing what they could to get out of the flames. By the time Gabby hopped out of her seat, she could already hear Boden yelling orders, watching on as 81 and squad 3 filtered inside, going in search of anyone who still trapped.
It was a tense few minutes, Gabby having fallen into the role of directing all the other paramedics as multiples ambos kept rolling up to the scene, companies from all over the city being brought out to help with the casualties.
"Chief." Casey's voice filtered through the radio, Gabby looking towards the building, watching as the flames got higher. "We've got a victim in here, he's bleeding out. If we move him before we get the bleeding under control, he won't make it. I need a paramedic."
"How's it looking in there?" Boden asked immediately, Chief's eyes finding Dawson's quickly, Gabby understanding she'd probably be sent inside here shortly.
"We've got some time, nothing too bad, just a lot of smoke."
Boden nodded towards Gabby, Dawson grabbing her jacket from the rig.
"Okay, Dawson's coming inside. Where's your location?"
"Northeast stairwell, second floor."
"You okay to do this, Dawson?" Boden asked, Gabby nodding as Cruz helped her mask up.
"I'm good, Chief."
"Alright. Cruz, lead her in there. Dawson, you stay on Cruz's hip until you get to Casey, and then you're with him until you get out. In and out, do what you can but when I say out, you get out. There's no room for error, here." He spoke sternly, his rough tone mixing with the slight worry he felt sending one of his paramedics into the fire. But he knew she was more than capable, and the firefighter's inside would keep an eye on her.
"Understood, Chief." She replied before rolling close behind Cruz, Shay and Boden watching on as Dawson disappeared into the blaze.
"She'll be okay." Shay breathed out, Boden nodding as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Casey's in there, he'll keep her safe." The Chief could tell she was talking more to herself than to him at this point, but he nodded regardless.
"She'll be fine."
Once they got inside, Gabby stayed close to Cruz as they maneuvered around the burning building. Luckily, it seemed like aside from a few random places, the blaze was mostly confined to the top floor, but the smoke in the air was thick, Gabby barely able to see a few feet in front of her.
"Lieutenant, I've got Dawson." Cruz spoke through his radio when they got close, Gabby soon seeing Matt come into view, his hand covering the unconscious man's neck, clearly doing what he could to stop the bleeding.
"What do we got, Casey?" She asked, shifting completely into paramedic mode as she crouched down beside him, opening her bag.
"Looks like he got sliced by a piece of metal, I've got my hand over it but he's bleeding a lot."
"Let me look." She responded, Casey lifting his hand, allowing Dawson to go to work.
"Anyone on the second floor? I need help over here. Southeast corner, got a guy pinned." Otis' voice flooded through the radio, Casey glancing up to Cruz.
"Go help Otis, we've got this."
"...Are you sure? Chief told me to stay with Dawson." Cruz responded, clearly hesitant and unsure of what orders to follow.
"I'm sure, I've got her. We don't have a lot of time." He spoke firmly, Cruz nodding before heading that way, Casey and Dawson both hearing Cruz telling Otis he was on his way.
"How is it looking, Dawson?" Casey asked, Gabby shaking her head as she felt for a pulse. Before she could answer, they heard the ceiling creaking, Casey looking up in time just as a few pieces of debris began falling down. Without even thinking, he grabbed Gabby, shielding her body with his. Unsure of what was happening, Dawson didn't fight it, a soft whimper escaping her lips as she heard the building continue to make noises any stable building wouldn't. She heard a sharp gasp of pain come from Matt, but she was unable to look up at him, his grip on her not allowing for much movement.
Casey didn't care if he got hurt, that didn't matter to him nearly as much as making sure Gabby didn't, but the heavy piece of wood that fell down and smacked him across his lower back definitely hurt more than he'd care to admit.
When the building finally seemed to settle, at least for a moment, Casey released his grip on her, groaning slightly when he stretched out his back, knowing he was bound to have a pretty nasty bruise for awhile.
"You okay?" Gabby asked quickly, Matt giving her a slow nod.
"I'm fine, how's this guy?" He asked again, Gabby wincing as she checked for a pulse one last time.
"We lost him, Casey... He lost too much blood."
"Dammit."
"Casey, Dawson, you need to get out of there now. I'm calling it." Boden's voice flooded through their radios, Casey nodding as Gabby quickly grabbed her ambo bag, the pair standing up. Dawson saw the way his body twinged at the movement, Gabby knowing he was more injured than he let on.
"We're coming." Casey replied, grabbing onto Gabby's arm before slowly leading her towards the steps. "Where are Cruz and Otis?" He asked through the radio, gritting his teeth to try and distract himself from the pain radiating in his lower back.
"We're almost out, Lieutenant."
"I'm checking you out when we get outside." Gabby spoke, Matt glancing towards her. "I know you hurt yourself back there."
"I'm fine, we just need to get out of here." He told her, Gabby giving him a nod before they continued walking.
But they only got a few more steps before they heard the building start to creak, the floor shifting beneath them as more of the ceiling around them caved in.
"Casey! Dawson!"
It was like time stood still, Gabby unable to register much of anything happening around her as fire fell through the ceiling, the foundation shaking beneath them. Before she could even fully understand what was going on, the ground beneath them suddenly ceased to exist, the floor completely giving out underneath their feet.
And the last thing she felt was Casey's arms reaching out for her, wrapping her into his body as they crashed to the floor beneath them, Matt desperate to break her fall as her entire world went black.
Well, how are we feeling? We got so close to Matt finally saying… something. We'll have to wait and see how that plays out, but now we've got more immediate issues to deal with. I know you all are desperate for that talk to happen between Gabby and Matt, and although it hasn't happened yet, I promise you it's coming. Very, very soon.
Thank you all for the feedback on the last chapter, whether it was positive or negative, it's greatly appreciated and helps me figure out how to make this story more enjoyable for you all. For those of you who weren't happy after my last chapter, I hope maybe this one was a little easier. Thanks for sticking with me.
I'm eager to hear your feedback on this chapter, I hope you all enjoyed it. Thank you so much for reading.
Until the next.