A/N: Hello readers, so incredibly sorry to have not posted any updates in recent months. Life threw a major wrench in my plans and I've been drowning figuratively speaking. Just recently I've also had a resurgence of my depression and haven't felt up to writing. I've had this update written, but simply opening my laptop has been a struggle with all that has been going on. Please bear with me, I promise I won't always be so removed from story writing. I keep hoping that my depression will go crawl back out of the depths it came from and leave me be and hopefully things will get easier for me.

Thank you, hope you enjoy.

Over the passing week, Alan's family were in and out visiting Alan and consulting some of the top plastic surgeons about how to potentially salvage what was left of Alan's arm. Virgil had gotten a sketch pad from the gift shop and while listening to the consultations began using aspects from their designs to create one all his own. Before becoming a member of International Rescue, Virgil was an engineer, and he knew people. One of his absolute best friends made animatronics for Hollywood and a vast majority of amusement parks. She lived in New Zealand and would travel for work when employed for big projects but otherwise would build everything at her home. Virgil was designing his own prosthetic and he was using the measurements he heard being thrown around by the specialists.

Virgil waited until he made it back to the hotel before asking if the concierge could fax something for him. He had already been in contact with his friend, and she was willing to attempt to bring Virgil's design to fruition. Once the fax was received, Zoe called Virgil to discuss his design. What Virgil had dreamed up was something almost Sci-Fi. It was a fully metal prosthetic that had a rubberized coating to imitate the skin color, it didn't just slip on the stump. What Virgil had designed would attach to surgically implanted ports and move using some of the most up to date technology to detect when a movement was to be made such as making a fist and follow accordingly.

Zoe was fully certain she could design what Virgil was asking for, what would pose a problem for executing the use of the prosthesis was that it'd require a surgery and without it being fully operational in parts of the world, both Zoe and Virgil wondered if they could find a surgeon willing to place it for Alan. That and the fact that Alan didn't know about Virgil's design. He didn't know if Alan would want to undergo surgery to place the ports. Alan would be able to return home the following week and for that the family was grateful. Alan had remained mostly quiet amidst the many consultations that week following the attack.

Virgil like the whole family knew Alan put on a brave face when he was listening to the experts, but they also knew Alan's heart. He didn't like to show emotion on the surface and so it didn't surprise anyone when they'd overheard one of the nurses whispering to another nurse while being updated prior to shift change. Alan had been taken by another nurse for a stroll to give him time away from his hospital room when Alan admitted to going stir crazy. According to one of the nurses, the poor boy in room 5225 cried himself to sleep practically every night and he would insist on being alone if one of the more empathetic nurses tried to comfort him.

Virgil had just gotten off the phone with Zoe when Alan and his nurse returned from their stroll. Seeing Alan missing one arm still made Virgil feel like he needed to do a doubletake, but he also knew Alan wouldn't appreciate being gawked at. Alan was wearing shorts and a hospital shirt that snapped along the seam. If you didn't know what you were looking for, one would wonder why Alan was in the hospital. That is until your eyes were drawn to the arm swathed in bandages that was missing everything below the elbow.

"Hey Alan. How was your walk?" Virgil asked as Alan left his nurse's side to return to either his bed or chair by the window.

"It was good, but I'll be glad to go home." Alan said as he looked out the window, seeing in the distance a peek of the ocean.

"I know you will. So will we." Virgil said with a commiserating tone of voice. The older brother stayed to visit Alan until just before the meal trolley came around. Just when he was preparing to leave, one of the orderlies brought Alan's tray of food in and then left without a word. Alan walked over and raised the lid to take a look at his food before replacing the lid and walking back over to the window. Virgil thought it was weird that Alan didn't want to eat it because it smelled good. He walked over to see for himself what Alan didn't want to eat and saw it was pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon. He didn't see why Alan turned his nose up at his meal and he asked in the next beat. "Al, your food is here and is hot and fresh. Why don't you want to eat it?"

"You wouldn't understand." Alan said as he kept his back turned to Virgil, gaze steadily locked out the window. At least that's what Virgil thought. He heard the shaky intake of breath and knew instantly why Alan was facing so resolutely out the window.

"Try me." Virgil said, keeping his voice soft.

"Virgil, look at me! I'm missing my dominant hand. How am I supposed to cut my food, let alone feed myself when I only have one damn hand? It's not like I can cut my food when I can't even hold a fork to keep my food centered on the plate." Alan said as he whirled around to face his brother with eyes alit with fire amidst welling with tears.

"That's something we'll need to work through. For the time being though…let me help." Virgil said as he removed the lid from Alan's food and took the knife and fork to cut Alan's food for him. Once all the food was cut up, Virgil coaxed Alan back to his bed to sit and there he took Alan's remaining hand and helped him to hold the fork until the middle son was sure Alan felt comfortable holding the eating utensil.

Alan's face burned with shame, but he still thanked Virgil later for helping him to feed himself. Once the indignity of dinner was done, Alan crawled into his bed and pulled the blanket up. Virgil saw himself out at Alan's insistence when he heard his brother's stomach growl at his lack of food. Once alone, Alan let his walls down. He didn't cry loudly, but his breath did stutter a little and tears trickled down his cheeks until Alan felt he'd cried enough, and he dried his tears with the back of his left hand. Laying back, Alan closed his eyes and forced himself to try to sleep.

… … … … … … … … … … …

Four days later found the Tracy family traveling back home. Gordon was anxious to be back home, knowing he hadn't had time to clean up Alan' spilt blood from the beach to the silo and he worried the blood would have stained everything. Alan was quiet during the flight and he rolled his eyes when he heard Scott griping about the blood staining the upholstery in the jet. Jeff had already taken the liberty to hire someone to refit new upholstery before they returned home and Scott thought the colors didn't match the interior design. Glancing over, Alan took notice that Gordon seemed to have picked up his old habit of biting his nails and Alan stood and crossed the aisle to sit next to Gordon.

"Hey, I don't think I ever properly thanked you for what you did." Alan said, keeping his voice soft so as not to tell the others that he'd moved from his little nest his family thought he needed to be comfortable during the flight.

"It was nothing, you'd probably do the same for me." Gordon replied, his gaze far away and Alan noticed. He used his left hand and grabbed Gordon's ball cap bill and pulled it down over his eyes to elicit a response from Gordon and he got it. "What the hell's your problem?"

"I was just thanking you and you didn't even hear me." Alan replied with a hiss.

"Yes, I did!" Gordon argued back but Alan deflected.

"No, you didn't, your answer was rote." Alan said with a shake of his head.

"So what?" Gordon asked as he leaned back to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Is that all I am to you…a 'so what'? Glad to know I matter that much." Alan asked, hurt lacing his tone.

"No of course not! You're not getting me." Gordon said when he realized how his argument to Alan might have sounded. "I'm still having trouble accepting the fact that you're not whole…I feel like I failed you, failed the family for not keeping you safe. I can't help the guilt that's eating me up from the inside."

"You think I'm not having trouble accepting that I'm not whole either? It's my body…my arm and hand that's missing. I must learn how to write again, how to button and un-button my pants with one hand. I must have someone else cut my food again, like I'm five instead of fifteen. Can you imagine how demeaning that is?" Alan inquired with an inquisitive look until he noticed John looking at him from the front of the jet, pointing his finger back to Alan's designated seat with a covert look to the cockpit. John was trying to make sure he stays out of trouble with their father and the number one smother-hen. "We're finishing this talk when we get home."

"I'll be waiting." Gordon said before turning his gaze back out the window. He could see the island in the distance. It wasn't a horribly long flight, but it was nerve wracking to say the least. When they did land, it was anti-climactic at least to both Alan and Gordon who the last time either of them had been at home had been the start of an urgent flight for medical attention.

Scott was the first to leave the cockpit followed by his father after they'd done their post flight checks. The oldest son went first to Alan to check on him and then to Gordon to guide both brothers from the jet. Gordon started to dread getting off the jet and was surprised to find the trail of blood left behind was gone. As a matter of fact the floors were shiny, likely polished. Jeff noticed the stunned look on Gordon's face and spoke up.

"Penny was kind enough to recommend some exceptionally good, contracted cleaners that routinely handle blood and other hard to clean messes and brought them out to clean up. I felt bad putting that on Kyrano and Onaha and I must say that they did a fabulous job."

Alan was glad he didn't have to see how much blood he'd lost because of the attack. Feeling the effects was bad enough. When the family had made it to the house, Alan was the first enveloped in a hug by their matronly housekeeper Onaha. She began to weep when she saw Alan's bandaged arm. Next to hug Alan was Brains who had been the first back to the island following the younger brothers hasty flight and he'd nearly fainted at the sight of blood. He had done his best to clean the spilt blood but he wasn't very good being that blood made him nervous.

Tin-Tin and Fermat greeted Alan almost the same way that their parents had. It made Alan feel like he was being treated like a fragile little doll and he didn't like that feeling. When he found the opportunity, Alan snuck away and went down to the spot that this whole thing occurred. He found little areas that were cleaner than most such as the pebbled staircase landing that led to the beach. Any and all accumulated sand was gone and little pebbles that had previously loosely coated with dried salt were immaculate. That told Alan where he'd bled most and he followed the landing down to the beach. The sand wasn't clean, but Alan could tell that someone had been down combing the sand to remove the mess. There he'd found his scuba gear bag, short a strap and he suddenly found it difficult to swallow. Gordon had destroyed his gear bag to use the carrying strap as a makeshift tourniquet.

"I'll buy you a new one."

Gordon speaking without Alan hearing his approach startled the teen and he whirled around with eyes that shone in the late afternoon light. Gordon's eyes were directed down at the sand pushing up between his toes after he'd taken his sandals off at the top of the staircase like Alan had. So it surprised Gordon when he was nearly knocked off balance when Alan ran the short distance to him and hugged him tightly.

"I don't care if you buy me a new bag. Thank you for not just letting me die." Alan whispered brokenly into his brother's shoulder. Gordon pulled Alan back to look him in the eyes.

"I would never let you die. If there was anything, I could do to prevent you from that fate I would do anything. Even die trying if that was my only option." Gordon said as he went to sit in the sand where he remembered being when he felt something was wrong with Alan. Alan sat next to his brother and they both just sat there. Neither talking for the first couple minutes, merely reflecting on the events that changed their lives as they knew it.

"You know I blame myself for what happened to you. I can't shake the guilt." Gordon admitted, confessing to his younger brother which was unheard of in their household. Usually, Gordon hid his feelings and internalizing while making light of the situation. Alan stared at his brother in surprise, but he knew that Gordon carried feelings of guilt and regret. But Alan didn't blame his older brother. He didn't blame anyone. Not even his dad who had previously refused Alan the opportunity to go to New York with him. Or Virgil who had changed their plan to go to visit their grandmother when one of his close friends from college came to visit mutual friends in Christchurch. Alan didn't blame anyone or anything for what happened to him. He was merely a victim of circumstance.

… … … … … … … … … … …

Over the next couple days, Alan got used to having to use his left hand for everything. He went to the mainland three times a week for occupational therapy so he could better learn how to use his left hand. While he was in therapy, Virgil who usually volunteered to be his mode of transport would disappear for the hour and a half long appointment and show up once it was time to pick Alan up. The youngest brother never asked where Virgil went for the duration of his occupational therapy sessions, but he had a feeling Virgil wasn't just loitering in the lobby. He had no proof though. Alan's therapist kept him busy for the entire session and usually Alan felt like his arm was made of rubber afterward.

After one of Alan's occupational therapy sessions Alan was curious to Virgil's whereabouts and he decided to ask as they sat in a booth having lunch before they flew home.

"Hey Virgil, can I ask you a question?" Alan asked around a mouthful of his milkshake.

"You just did, but sure you can ask me another one." Virgil replied, smirking when Alan rolled his eyes.

"Where do you go after you drop me off for therapy? The center isn't very big and I can see the lobby from the therapy room and you're clearly not there. So where do you keep vanishing to?" Alan asked as he tried to ignore the looks to his missing arm from other patrons of the restaurant.

"Down the rabbit hole and back again." Virgil replied as he too noticed the other patrons' poor attempts to conceal their staring. Virgil shrugged out of his windbreaker jacket and stood to drape it over Alan's shoulders when his ire only grew. He sent challenging glares back to make the others stop their staring. Alan didn't say anything, but he did try to hide his face with his hand out of embarrassment from Virgil's actions. "No, truthfully…I'm going out to find you a birthday present. Your birthday is in two months after all."

Alan raised an eyebrow in question, disbelieving that Virgil was looking for a gift for him. It wasn't like Alan to feel like Virgil was lying to him, but he felt like Virgil wasn't telling him the truth like he claimed he was.

"Okay, if you say so. But can I ask a favor?" Alan asked as he noticed that Virgil kept glaring over his head at someone.

"Name it." Virgil said as he broke his glare to smile at his youngest brother.

"Can you quit glaring at everyone? I feel like it's bringing more attention than is necessary to the fact that I'm an amputee." Alan asked to which Virgil had the nerve to look like an abashed toddler that was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Sure." Virgil said to which Alan finally seemed to exhale a deep breath. It would appear that he was holding his breath while he was enduring his caring older brother's overprotective nature.

About that moment, a server came walking over from the kitchen and she asked the brothers for their order. She didn't stare or even acknowledge that Alan was different, and she was very polite. Before she left however, she too noticed the staring from nosy patrons, and she leaned over the table to pull the privacy curtain that ran between the booths over the adjoining wall. Virgil was relieved that someone had a heart and he looked up at the young woman to mouth a muted 'thank you' to her. She winked down at Virgil before she went to the cooks to hand in the brother's order.

When their order was delivered Alan realized belatedly that he'd need to cut his food and he was trying to figure out how to do exactly that when the server took a moment from delivering Virgil's meal to offer Alan a helping hand. Alan was appreciative, but worried he was receiving special treatment and he felt his face grow hot. He thanked the young lady and then dug into his meal once she'd handed him his fork back.

When the brothers finished their meals, Virgil paid the tab and they stood to leave. As they were leaving, Virgil held the door open for his brother and they both began to walk down the sidewalk to the meter maid where Virgil had parked the car. They turned the corner and immediately were accosted by the paparazzi after they noticed the brothers come into view. Virgil being who he was, he wrapped a protective arm around Alan's shoulders and started trying to block the view of the cameras snapping and flashing rapidly at them both.

As Virgil tried to be Alan's bodyguard, they forgot that Virgil's jacket was merely draped over Alan's shoulders. In their frantic flight, a member of the paparazzi tried to stop Alan from running by grabbing his arm. So, it surprised both brothers when suddenly Alan's arm was made visible to all the cameras. The paparazzi went quiet for a split second before they all began clamoring for Alan's attention. They were less than a block from Tracy Towers, originally having driven because they were coming from Alan's occupational therapy session across town. When they rounded the corner to Tracy Towers, Virgil grabbed Alan's left hand and was pulling him along behind him. The guards that stood at the door to the towers noticed the paparazzi chasing the brothers and they hurried forward to shield the brothers and to fend off the camera wielding piranha.

Once the brothers had been ushered inside their father's business, they were escorted to the elevator that would take them directly to their family's penthouse. Alan was staring off and he was only broken out of his revere when the head guard smiled at him before the elevator door closed.

"Glad to see you are okay kid."

… … … … … … … … … … …

Alan didn't say much following the incident, staying as silent as the stars that twinkled over his head after he'd gotten home with Virgil. Their father was standing in his office overlooking the area of beach where the attack had taken place. He could see Alan sitting at the bottom of the stairs, having been filled in by a guilty Virgil who blamed himself. The middle son took the blame because he hadn't paid attention to their surroundings enough to realize they were walking into a trap.

Neither of the brothers had noticed someone sitting in the restaurant that recognized the brothers or had seen Alan's arm prior to Virgil covering him with his jacket. So naturally neither of them had seen the person call in a favor with a couple paparazzi companies. Jeff didn't blame either boy because it was an honest mistake. Feeling like he needed to go tend to his son, Jeff left Virgil with an easy going smile to let him know he wasn't mad at him and he went to see to Alan.

Virgil claimed his father's previous spot gazing out the window at his little brother. It was still difficult to stomach that Alan wasn't like the rest of them anymore with ten fingers and ten toes. Now he was five fingers short of ten. He watched as his father's shadow followed the man down the winding stairs to the beach. There Jeff sat beside his youngest if only to be there, not necessarily to talk or be heard.

… … … … … … … … … … …

The following morning, Alan was woken up with a gentle knock on his door before being greeted with breakfast on a tray by none other than Virgil. The middle son was still blaming himself and had practically begged Onaha to let him have a chance to make Alan breakfast as a peace offering for what he was still claiming as his fault.

Alan seemed despondent to Virgil's attempts, eating a little of what Virgil fixed for him. Fearing that Alan's progress would backslide, Virgil stood and left the room to go to his own down the hall. He returned a few moments later and found Alan had pushed his breakfast away and was standing in his bathroom, looking at his arm. He didn't acknowledge his older brother, but he did bite his lip when the older hugged him. The youngest frowned on displays of emotion, rarely ever showing it to anyone let alone his family.

"Hey Al…do you remember when you asked me yesterday where I was going while you were in therapy?" Virgil asked to which Alan met his gaze through the mirror's reflection.

"Yeah? Down the rabbit hole and back again." Alan said with a pout.

"Yeah…I'm afraid I wasn't being entirely honest with you yesterday." Virgil said before he glanced down at what he held. Stepping around Alan to lean against the bathroom counter, Virgil unfolded the folded paper to show Alan what he's been working on. "I've teamed up with Zoe, my friend who you've fawned over because of the animatronics and robotic technology she's worked on. Remember her?"

"Yeah, she's a cool girl." Alan replied with a blush. Virgil often teased Alan for having a crush on his friend who is ten years his senior.

"Well, I've asked her to make you something. I'm hoping it will be done in time for your birthday. The only thing I can see that would be a bit of a hiccup to our plans is that what I have in mind is something you won't have to take off.

"A bionic arm?" Alan inquired as he looked over the life size sketch of what his new arm was to look like.

"A prosthetic. But you get the idea. We're working on an arm, which would connect into ports that would be surgically placed so you wouldn't have to wear all the garments associated with the typical prosthetic limbs." Virgil said as he pointed to the sketch of Alan's arm. "Right now, we're trying to find a surgeon who would be willing to do the surgery to place the port, it would be connected to what is left of your arm and likely placed within the bone."

"You did all this for me?" Alan asked, in a state of wonder.

"Well of course. You're my little brother and if there's one thing I hate, it's upset little brothers. Especially when I have the ability to do something however small." Virgil said with a small grin.

"This isn't something small." Alan said as he took a moment to brush a hint of tears that'd begun to collect in the corners of his eyes. "Thank you, Virgil."

"You're welcome kiddo, I love you and I'm sorry you're having to go through this." Virgil said when he hugged Alan, careful not to wrinkle the schematic for Alan's prosthetic.

… … … … … … … … … … …

Virgil sighed with a single glance at the clock in his office just off the edge of Brains lab. It was pushing three in the morning and he was exhausted. He'd been working on the finishing touches of Alan's prosthetic and they'd finally found a surgeon who was familiar with the type of surgery that was needing to be done in order to finally complete every step necessary for Alan to use his custom-built arm.

Alan was on the mainland currently undergoing the thirteen-hour surgery to connect each nerve ending to a wire which would allow Alan to replicate normal human movement. Once it was healed, Zoe and Virgil would be able to better finetune Alan's arm if there were any kinks to work out. Zoe, while she wasn't a surgeon, had to be present to walk the surgeon through which wire to connect because while the surgeon was familiar with the type of surgery, it was still technically in its infancy stage of doing this type of surgery on a human.

Once the wires were connected, then would come the step of drilling a hole into the marrow and core of the bone to insert multiple rods. After the rods were seated, then a cap and base to seal Alan's arm. His body would have to heal for approximately two months before his arm could be connected to the base, but theoretically once Alan healed, he should be able to utilizes his new arm without much difficulty apart from the baby steps associated with using a new limb for the first time.

Their father hadn't been especially keen on the idea of Alan undergoing another surgery so soon after his amputation, but Alan and Virgil had both worn him down by talking about how much easier life would be for Alan if he could have use of a hand that could grip, hold and in general give Alan a limb that even if prosthetic would make him feel even a touch more normal.

Virgil checked the time again as he waited to hear how Alan was doing. He had to put a couple more components in that would make Alan's life easier, such as a built-in communicator to replace the communicator that was eaten by the shark. It wasn't what Zoe had originally added, but she had told Virgil he could make modifications as he saw fit and it helped that he had originally attended college to be an engineer. Right as Virgil put the last couple components together, his phone rang and he was quick to answer.

"Hey Virge, Alan's just been brought from recovery. He's doing good." Scott said as he spoke softly in the waiting room. Virgil could see from the screen that John and Gordon were both fast asleep in chairs, with their heads leaned against the wall meanwhile their father wasn't visible.

"Where's dad?" Virgil asked, mindful of not waking either of his slumbering brothers.

"With Alan. The nurse came to get dad because Alan was becoming combative after surgery. The anesthesia was getting to him and the nurse hoped that dad would be able to calm Alan."

"Oh." Virgil said around a yawn.

"Yeah, oh." Scott replied around a yawn of his own. "Anyway, it's probably going to be a few hours before we're allowed in to see Alan so I'm going to try to get some shut eye."

"Okay, you do that." Virgil said while determined to stay awake and continue working on Alan's prosthetic.

"You know you should go to sleep as well. That arm will still be there in the morning. You need sleep so you don't screw up the arm." Scott said, fully intending to chastise Virgil about burning the midnight oil when he returned home in two days.

"Yeah. Will do Scooter. Go to sleep." Virgil said as he disconnected Scott's call and without meaning to lay his own head down, falling asleep despite the number of components that still needed to be installed.

… … … … … … … … … … …

When Alan did return, he was coddled by his family and practically couldn't wait to get away from them all if only for a few minutes of peace. He'd unknowingly fled right to where Virgil was just putting the finishing touches on Alan's arm. The younger felt like he had to whisper as he looked at the almost animatronic like limb and Virgil craned his neck to look behind himself to see who came in. He hadn't even heard his family return so it was a bit of a surprise.

"Hey, you all are home?" Virgil asked, barely realizing the silly nature of his question.

"Yeah, we only just got in. But dad and the other guys were driving me up the walls, so I snuck away before I had to scream." Alan said before he took several steps forward until he stopped just behind Virgil to look at what Virgil was working on.

"Oh, do you like it? I know it's a little rough looking, but it should do the trick once it's fully operational." Virgil said as he held the limb up for Alan to look at. His younger brother hesitantly touched the animatronic hand, his eyes alight with glee as he realized the opportunities for him once he could use the arm were endless.

"I love it. I just can't wait to use it. I wish I didn't have to wait two months to use the arm, but I'll follow doctor's orders and stay away until then. It's just going to be torture." Alan said accepting the hug from his third oldest brother.

"I know it, but two months should be a snap for you especially since you'll be focusing solely on healing at this point." Virgil said before he replaced the animatronic prosthetic back on it's stand. With that, he stood up when his stomach gave a grumble, and he took that as his cue to go get something to eat. As he walked, he noticed that Alan's arm was swathed in bandages once more. He wondered how Alan's surgery went and he was curious. As much as he wanted to know, Virgil knew Alan might bite his head off if one more person asked how he was doing. So, he kept his questions to himself until they made it into the kitchen where their housekeeper immediately hugged Alan in greeting.