Well, are you guys ready for this one? I know a lot of you have been looking forward to this chapter for awhile now, I hope you enjoy.
Happy reading.
THIRTY FOUR
"I, uh- I'm sorry for just dropping by like this but… we need to talk."
Gabby drew in a deep breath, nodding slowly as she took a step backwards, giving him room to come inside her apartment, Matt flashing her an appreciative smile before stepping inside, Gabby noticing his slight limp instantly as she shut the door behind them.
"Is your leg hurt?" She questioned, Matt looking towards her, only to find her eyes looking down, her eyebrows furrowed as she focused on his leg.
"Yeah, uh, I got cut by something, they think it happened during the fall." He answered, Gabby giving a slight nod before meeting his eyes again, both of them taking a moment to take the other in, neither of them having seen each other since getting separated at the hospital.
Matt's eyes started on her face, grimacing when he saw the cuts and scratches along her skin, his eyebrows furrowing when he saw a much deeper cut along her hairline, one he could only assume came from her oxygen mask digging into her head. She already had some faint bruising on her face, Matt knowing those marks would only get worse over the next day or so. His eyes moved down to her shoulder, her injured arm being supported by the sling she was wearing, the object keeping her arm in place. He saw a few more scratches on her arms, and he was sure there were more, but the t-shirt covering her body blocked those from his view, his gaze trailing down to her leg. With the shorts she was wearing, he could see the thick white bandage wrapped around her upper thigh, covering what he was sure were a lot of stitches, his grimace deepening as he saw a few scratches and bruises peeking out from around the bandage. Moving further down, he saw an ace bandage wrapped around her ankle, hiding her swollen skin as he shook his head, his stomach sinking as he saw the full extent of the damage the fall had caused her.
While Casey was staring at her, Gabby followed his lead as she took a moment to look over his injuries, as well. With the scrubs he was wearing, she couldn't see much, but she could see how much of a beating he'd taken, the skin she could see covered in bruises and cuts. She saw what she was sure would turn into a pretty nasty bruise along the side of his face, Gabby already making out the yellow discoloration covering his cheek.
"Are you alright?" He blurted out, Gabby meeting his gaze again, Matt releasing a heavy breath. "Sorry, that was a dumb question."
"No, no it's not… Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Sore, but fine… Everything will heal. The medication they gave me at the hospital was like a miracle worker, I'm feeling a lot better than I was earlier." She replied with a soft grin, Matt giving her a nod as he looked away from her, his eyes moving around the apartment. He could only see the kitchen, and a bit of the living room, from where he was standing in the foyer, but even from his limited view, he could tell she'd gotten everything moved in, the apartment completely different from the last time he'd seen it. "Do you-" His eyes snapped back to her when she started speaking, Gabby's breath getting caught in her throat when they locked eyes. "Do you wanna sit?... It's a little hard for me to stand for too long." She said regretfully, Matt immediately nodding as he frowned softly.
"No, yeah, let's sit, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you stand here." He replied instantly, Gabby shaking her head.
"It's fine." She responded, Matt giving her a nod before she began walking further into her apartment, Casey turning back to lock the front door before following after her. Neither of them were moving very fast, Matt fighting every instinct in him to go and help her, the firefighter wincing when he noticed the serious limp she was walking with, Gabby clearly in a lot of discomfort. But he wasn't sure if she'd want his help, so he let her be, waiting until she was settled on the couch before he joined her, leaving some distance in between them. She propped her swollen ankle up on the coffee table, Matt watching as she placed it on a pillow sitting there, Casey assuming this is how she'd been resting before he made her get up.
A thick silence had formed between them, neither knowing what to say as they sat in her living room, Matt's eyes bouncing around the apartment while Gabby focused on her lap.
"The place looks great." He eventually spoke up, Gabby looking to him quickly before looking away again, her gaze moving around the apartment. "You did a really nice job."
"Thank you… Yeah, uh, I had my parents help, and Antonio. I'm still waiting on a few things, but I like it."
"I'm glad you got this place, I know how much you liked it, when we came to see it…" He trailed off, Dawson nodding as she stared ahead, pursing her lips together. "I, uh…" He cleared his throat, Gabby glancing towards him, "I'm sorry for making you walk all the way to the door, I just- I got discharged and I needed to come see you." He murmured, his tongue running over his bottom lip as he saw a slight smile form across her face.
"I'm glad you did…" She murmured, Casey soon matching her smile, a look of relief flickering in his eyes.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah… I was really worried about you." She continued, brushing her hair behind her ear. "Shay… she told me you have a concussion?" Gabby questioned, Matt giving her a slight nod. "And that you sprained your shoulder, and bruised some ribs…"
"I did, but I'm fine." He was quick to assure her, Gabby releasing a heavy breath.
"I know you were more hurt than you let on at the fire... even though I was a little out of it I could still tell…" She replied with a pointed stare, Matt smiling sheepishly. "And then Shay told me you were being taken for more tests… you really worried me today, Casey."
"I'm sorry." He murmured, Gabby shaking her head as he slid closer to her, his knee almost touching hers as he angled his body towards her.
"No, don't apologize, it's not your fault… I'm just glad you're okay." She replied, glancing down to her lap as Matt placed a soft hand over her knee, Gabby's neck clenching tightly as she tried to keep her emotions under control. "...When I woke up and you were unconscious…" She shook her head, her voice faltering as she blinked quickly, "I didn't know what to think, I thought you were gone." Her voice was barely audible, Matt's eyes falling closed as he listened to her. He could hear how much he'd scared her, Gabby unable to mask it when she spoke, and he hated that he'd worried her so much. He hated everything that had happened today, and he wasn't sure if he could ever forgive himself for it.
"I'm sorry." He said again, Gabby smiling weakly.
"You've gotta stop apologizing, it's not your fault… I just- I want you to know how glad I am that you're okay." She repeated, but Matt shook his head, Gabby's eyebrows furrowing when she saw his shoulders tense.
"It is my fault."
"Matt-"
"No, it is my fault." He said again, pulling his hand back from her knee, gripping his palms together in his lap. "Everything that happened today, that's my fault. You're hurt because of me." He spoke, his voice cracking as Gabby frowned, her eyes shining with sadness, Matt refusing to look at her. "I should've never brought you into that building, it was too dangerous."
"Matt…"
"You never should have been in there, you could've died, and I-"
"You could've died." She interrupted him, Matt sucking in a deep breath as he finally looked up at her, finding her eyes already on him. "You were trying to save that man, you were doing what you thought was best… You grabbed me when we were falling through the floor, even though it was so stupid." She spoke with a light scoff, Matt unable to stop the slight smile pulling on his lips, Gabby taking a deep breath before continuing. "No one blames you for this, Matt. I don't blame you… So stop blaming yourself."
"It's not that easy…" He told her, Gabby releasing a soft sigh. "But Shay said the same thing you did-"
"Of course she did, because we're right." She cut in, Matt chuckling again as he returned his hand to her knee, Gabby smiling softly. "But seriously, I don't want you blaming yourself. You had no way of knowing what was going to happen, and everything's fine. We're both okay, all things considered... so please, for me, don't get hung up on this."
"Okay." He murmured, Gabby smiling softly. "I'll try."
"Thank you." She replied, Matt squeezing her knee gently, Gabby reaching her arm across her body to place her hand over his. "So, uh… you wanted to talk?" Gabby prompted, Matt tilting his head to the side. "Unless- you just wanted to talk about what happened today." She quickly added, swallowing the lump forming in her throat, Matt shaking his head.
"No, no, I, uh, I wanted to talk about-" He cleared his throat, drawing in a deep breath. "I want to talk about us, about what happened… if you're up for it." Gabby gave him a slow nod, her grip on his hand loosening slightly. "Okay, well, I-" He blew out a heavy sigh. "I don't even know where to start." He admitted, Gabby watching him closely. "Everything between us got so messed up, I never meant for any of this to happen…"
"Any of what?" She questioned quietly, pulling her hand away, unsure of what he meant.
"The fighting, the… split, or whatever you wanna call it." He answered, Gabby releasing a relieved breath. "It could've all been avoided, had I just been honest with you instead of… hiding, or- I don't even know what to call it." Matt shook his head. "But I'm sorry for not being honest with you… About how I feel, about how much you mean to me." He spoke, their eyes locking, Matt seeing a hesitance in her gaze. One he wished wasn't there, but one he couldn't say he was surprised to see. "But you need to know, you mean so much so me, Gabby… You have for awhile, if I'm being honest. I don't remember the exact moment, but I just remember it was like one day I realized that I what I felt for you- feel for you, it's more than just you being my friend… That I wanted more with you, but I didn't know what to do about it, so I never said anything." He breathed out, neither of them breaking their eye contact. "I knew, or I thought, that you weren't looking for a relationship. I knew you weren't at first, at least, and I didn't know if my feelings for you were something you could handle, especially so soon after what happened with Walker… And, truthfully, I wasn't sure I couldn't handle it either, after Hallie… I was just so afraid to change things." He admitted, shaking his head slowly as Gabby's face softened. "I was afraid to ruin what we had, so I figured it was best to just keep quiet. I didn't know what you were feeling, or what you were thinking… and if I'm being honest, I'm still a little lost with that one." He added with a chuckle, Gabby scoffing lightly in amusement. "But I am sorry for what I said to you, for hurting you like I did... I never wanted that. I never want to hurt you." He murmured, seeing her give him a slow nod. "I know we started this thing all backwards, but I really, really like you, Gabby." He told her, Gabby unable to fight to smile forming across her face, Matt matching her look. "I don't want to rush this… I refuse to rush this, because you mean more to me than anyone else, and I want this- I want us to last." He spoke sincerely, Gabby's eyes shining as she looked at him, Matt blowing out a heavy breath, his words hanging in the air. He remained silent for a moment, wanting to give her time to think over what he said, Matt not wanting to push her.
But she didn't say anything, Gabby using her good hand to grab onto his arm, gently pulling him towards her, a soft grin growing on his face before his lips pressed into hers, Gabby melting into him as he did what he could to keep pressure off her shoulder. Their movements were slow and gentle, Gabby resting her hand over his neck and Matt kept himself propped up, ignoring the discomfort in his shoulder.
When they finally pulled back, Matt had the same soft grin on his face, Gabby's bottom lip tucked in between her teeth as their foreheads pressed together, Matt opening his eyes to find her staring at him, her eyes soft and full of admiration.
"So… you feel the same way?" He asked lightly, Gabby rolling her eyes before he kissed her again, Gabby holding her close to him. This one was much shorter, Matt reluctantly pulling back when he couldn't handle keeping the pressure on his arm, Gabby taking deep breaths as he settled back beside her, Matt leaning against the couch while they sat in a comfortable silence.
"...I do." She spoke up after a few minutes, Matt glancing towards her with that signature Casey grin. "I do feel the same way." She elaborated, blinking quickly as she felt a familiar pressure rise within her chest. "This- talking about how I feel, letting people in… it's not easy for me."
"I know." He replied sympathetically, placing his hand on her leg. "And I know I pushed too hard, I was just- I was frustrated because I felt like you didn't trust me, or couldn't trust me."
"It wasn't because of you, or at least not anything you were doing. I just- I wish I didn't have a hard time letting people in… letting you in. I wish I could just trust people, but…" She trailed off, shaking her head as she looked down to her lap.
"Walker." He finished for her, Gabby's eyes falling closed as she clenched her jaw, giving him a slow nod.
"I hate that I still let him get in my head." She whispered, Matt frowning softly. "I hate it, and I wish I didn't… But just- some of the things he used to say, or that he'd do-" She cut herself off, a mix of anger and sadness flooding his system. "It's just hard to completely forget it, but I'm trying."
"I know you are." He told her, Gabby lifting her head to meet his gaze, seeing nothing but concern and compassion looking back at her. "... But I'm not him, Gabby."
"I know you're not." She responded softly. "It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me… And him, I guess, but I need you to know that I do trust you, Matt." She told him, Matt giving her a soft nod. "And I know I made all of this a lot harder than it needed to be… If I would've just talked to you, all of this… well, maybe not the falling through the floor part, but everything with us- the fight, and the split, or whatever… none of it would've happened if I had just talked to you." She breathed out, frustration evident in her voice. "And there were times I wanted to, I really did… but, like you, I guess I was scared… Scared to change things, scared to give myself to you, I was just scared of all of it."
"I should've said something, too." He cut in, finding her gaze. "I didn't help things, either… I just wanted you to let me in, but I didn't realize that I hadn't really let you in, either. I was frustrated, and worried, and made things harder than they should've been, and said things I shouldn't have said. I never should've tried to have that conversation at the bar with you, anyway. I knew you were upset about… well, I just knew you were upset, and I pushed you too hard."
"I didn't exactly make it easy on you, Matt." She countered. "I'm just… I stopped letting myself rely on other people. You were trying to help me, you were trying to be there for me, and that scared me, the thought of letting me rely on you like that-" She stopped herself, shaking her head slowly. "Every time I let myself rely on Bryan, he'd use it against me." She admitted, her voice barely above a whisper as Matt watched her, his eyes mirroring the sadness he felt. "I know it always comes back to him, and I hate it… I'm trying to get over it, but it's hard."
"You never have to apologize for that." He spoke, Gabby looking back up at him, finding he had never taken his eyes off of her. "I should've known it wasn't about me, at least not completely. I should've backed off… I know it's hard for you, I know that, and I should've realized sooner that's what this was, or that he was at least part of it…" Matt trailed off, Gabby running her tongue along her bottom lip.
Casey knew Bryan had messed with her head. It had been obvious pretty much from the moment he met, even before he knew Bryan was the man who had caused her obvious emotional trauma. But Walker had left her with more scars than he originally realized, and he was sure there were still plenty he had no idea about. And, looking back on it, he hated that he'd pushed her so hard, when he hadn't even let her know how he felt. He hadn't been fair to her, they hadn't been fair to each other, but that was about to change.
"I know you know I'm not him, and that you trust me, but, as you've told me, sometimes those habits are hard to break," Matt started, Gabby watching him closely as she gave him a slow nod. "But, I swear to you, Gabby, I'll be right here, reminding you as often as I need to that you can depend on me… I know this isn't something that'll just go away overnight, but you mean so much to me, Gabby- you mean everything, and I'll always be right here, whenever you need me." He breathed out, Gabby blinking back the tears forming in her eyes as she gave him a nod.
"You mean a lot to me, too." She responded, her voice barely above a whisper. "And I think you're right, we shouldn't rush this. I don't want to mess this up by moving too fast, because I- I need you, Matt." She admitted, swallowing thickly, Casey giving her knee a reassuring squeeze. "I'm just still working on how to express that, but I do… But I'm still scared, of us changing what this is, and what it means. And I know I've been keeping you at arms length, and I that I've been shutting you out, but I don't want to do that anymore." She continued, gaining the courage to keep talking as she felt his quiet support by her side. "And I'm trying not to, but I'm gonna need a little patience sometimes…"
"I know." He replied without hesitation. "We're gonna have to figure some of this out as we go along, I know that… But I'm right here." He reminded her, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to the side of her head, Gabby relaxing into him slightly before she cleared her throat, needing to get the rest of the words out.
"I know you are… But, uh- just because I don't want to rush things, I, um- I still want us to be- God, this sounds so lame." She groaned, cutting herself off as Matt chuckled by her side, placing his hand on the back of her head, rubbing gently as he waited for her to continue. "I want us to be together, like an actual couple…" She spoke, hating how the words sounded leaving her mouth, but she didn't know how else to communicate to him what she was wanting aside from being direct, Gabby watching as Matt shook his head in amusement.
"Are you asking me to be your boyfriend, Gabriela Dawson?" He questioned teasingly, trying to alleviate some of the tension her body was holding as Gabby covered her face with her hand, Matt laughing again.
"If you don't stop, I'm gonna take it back." She threatened, her words slightly muffled by her hand as Casey emitted another laugh.
"You're cute." He spoke lightly under his breath, Gabby dropping her hand and looking towards him, glaring playfully as his smile widened, her glare disappearing when he leaned forward, capturing her lips in his, feeling her smile against him before reciprocating the action. Her hand slid across his cheek as he kissed her, Matt deepening their movements for a second before he pulled back slightly, his lips ghosting over hers. "But if that was what you were asking, then I accept." He murmured, feeling her smile widen before he kissed her again, Gabby's thumb running along his scratched skin. "...It did sound kind of lame, though." He added, Gabby scoffing as she began pulling back, but he didn't let her get very far, Matt pressing his lips into hers, using his hand on the back of her head as leverage to keep her close, Gabby giving into him instantly.
Matt got himself into a better position, shifting in his seat without disconnecting from Gabby, feeling her pull him closer as she deepened the kiss. Her hand rested right under his jaw, Matt smiling against her as they went as long as they could, Gabby having to pull back first when air became a priority.
Both of their chests were heaving as they sat on the couch, Matt gently rubbing his hand through her hair, scratching her scalp lightly, Gabby relaxing back into the couch. They sat there in the living room for a few minutes, Matt's breathing evening out as he stared at her. Her eyes were closed, Gabby wearing a soft smile on her face as she focused on the feeling of his fingers rubbing her head.
He knew they still had things to talk about, and there were still things to figure out, but as they sat here on her couch, he couldn't help but feel a sense of complete contentment. After everything that had happened with them, after all they'd gone through these last few weeks, and then today especially, he felt grateful to be here with her right now. To know that they were okay, and that they were finally on the same page... He knew they'd be okay.
A soft yawn escaped Gabby's lips suddenly, the woman finally succumbing to the events of today as her body tried to tell her to get some rest. With a gentle smile, Matt pressed a kiss to the side of her head, Gabby's grin widening as she opened her eyes. "How about we get you to bed…" He suggested, stroking his thumb over the side of her head.
"Only if you stay with me." She murmured, Matt raising his eyebrows as his smile widened.
"I'd love to… And it works out because I have no way to get home. I don't have my car keys… Or anything." He spoke, realization washing over him as Gabby chuckled softly. "Now that I think about it, I really should've had Kelly take me to the station first. I don't even have any clothes." He continued as Gabby smiled sheepishly, Matt's head cocking to the side. "What?"
"I think I have something you can wear." She spoke, his eyebrows raising as Gabby shot him a smile. "Let's get you to the bedroom, you haven't even seen it yet." She told him, Matt wearing a goofy grin as he nodded, the two beginning to work on getting up.
It was quite the task, both of their beaten bodies taking longer than normal to perform simple movements, but after a few minutes they had both managed to get up. Matt had moved her leg down off the table, supporting her hips as she sat up, Casey pushing her until she was flat on her feet. Once she was steady, he pushed himself up, wincing as he put too much pressure on his injured shoulder, Gabby watching him closely as he moved.
Before she could even start to do it herself, Matt slowly limped towards the kitchen, finding her cups in the cabinet and grabbing one, getting her the glass of water he knew she always wanted before bed. Gabby kept her eyes on him the entire time, the simple gesture filling her chest with warmth as he left the kitchen, glass of water in hand while he turned off the lights as he went.
"I locked the door behind me when I came in- What?" He questioned with a grin when he saw the look on her face, Gabby shaking her head as she slowly walked away from the couch, meeting up with him at the entrance to the hallway.
"Nothing, just wondering if this is one of the perks of officially being your girlfriend?" She asked with a chuckle, Matt following her gaze down towards the water glass, a smirk forming on his lips as they began slowly walking down the hallway.
"Hey, I did this for you before we were together." He defended, Gabby raising her eyebrows as they got to her bedroom, Matt letting her walk in first.
"Well, considering you had feelings for me for awhile, you could've just been doing that to try and woo me." She countered, Matt scoffing lightly as he walked into the bedroom, his eyes moving around. She didn't have much when it came to decoration yet, but her room was really nice. It was warm and inviting, and he was glad she had a place like this to call home. And he was really glad he was able to be here to experience that with her.
"Oh please, I have much better moves than that." He replied, Gabby cocking her head to the side as she moved towards the dresser, Matt following her path, placing the glass of water down.
"Are you sure about that?" She questioned challengingly, Matt running his tongue across his lip. "I mean, I seem to remember that night at the bar where you were really struggling to get any woman to give you the time of day." Gabby teased him, Matt raising his eyebrows as he took a step towards her, carefully placing his hand on her hip.
"Ah, well, if I seem to remember correctly, I did get one woman to give me the time of day." He spoke with a knowing grin, Gabby ducking her head as heat filled her cheeks. "Besides, that was an off night, I have plenty of moves you haven't seen yet." He whispered, Gabby lifting her head to find his face mere inches from hers, Matt grinning softly as he met her gaze.
"Is that so?" She questioned, earning a hum in response. "Well, I can't wait to see what those are." She whispered, her eyes flickering to his lips before meeting his gaze.
"I don't know, I already have you, I don't think I need to try and impress you." He replied, Gabby's eyes shining as she smiled softly.
"...You have me, huh?" She asked, her happy tone making his smile widen, Matt giving her a nod.
"I do." He responded, stroking his thumb over her cheek before leaning down, pressing a firm kiss to her lips. "...But now I'd also like to have some clothes, too." He murmured against her, Gabby chuckling before kissing him again quickly.
When they separated, Gabby pulled out her dresser drawer, Matt's eyebrows raising when he looked at the contents, Casey seeing a lot of familiar clothes. In fact, the closer he looked, the more he realized the entire drawer was full of only his clothes. Biting back a smirk, Matt looked up, finding Gabby watching him with a sheepish smile. "Care to explain yourself?" He asked with a laugh, Gabby glancing down towards the drawer.
"I have no idea how I ended up with so many of your clothes…" She spoke with a grin, Matt shaking his head.
"You steal them, that's how you have so many of them." He countered, Gabby tilting her head to the side.
"It's not my fault they're comfier than mine…" She muttered, Matt's smile widening as she began rustling through his clothes with her one good arm. When she was moving in, it was a shock to her as well, seeing just how many of his clothes she'd ended up with, some she'd taken intentionally and some she hadn't. But regardless, she kept them. Even though she knew she probably shouldn't have once they'd ended things, she couldn't bring herself to return them. But now, thankfully, she wouldn't have to. Except maybe she would when they stopped smelling like him, Gabby having found comfort in wearing his clothes more times than she'd care to admit.
"You can steal as many of my clothes as you want." He replied, pressing a kiss to the side of her head as he pulled Gabby from her thoughts. "But maybe I can have a few of them back? I'm running out of sweatpants." He added with a chuckle, Gabby wearing a smug smile.
"We'll see." She replied, pulling out a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants, placing them on top of the dresser. As she shut the drawer, Matt slowly began peeling the hospital-gifted scrubs from his body, a grimace covering his face as he had to contort his arm to get the shirt off. As he slid the pants down his legs, Gabby was able to get a much better look at him and his injuries, a deep frown etching into her skin as she saw the scratches and cuts covering his skin. His body had been through hell, Gabby seeing bruises already forming on his skin from the fall today. He had a few yellow spots of discoloration on his upper chest, Gabby knowing those would probably worsen overnight, and she could only imagine they were from the impact of her body landing on top of his. But what really had her worried was the huge bruise that wrapped around his side, going around to his back. She couldn't see all of it, but based on how much of his skin the bruise covered over his side, she couldn't imagine it looked much prettier on his back, Gabby seeing the discoloration disappear underneath his boxers. The marks were a bit unnerving, as were the cuts on different parts of his body, but as her eyes moved back towards his chest, and she saw the steady rise and fall of his shoulders, she was reminded that he was fine. That even though today could've been much worse, he was okay. They both were. And that's what was important.
As he grabbed the pajama pants off the dresser, Gabby reached out to stop him, Matt glancing up at her as she took the clothing from his hands, letting it fall down to the carpet as his eyebrows raised.
"Gabby-"
He got cut off by her lips covering his, Matt initially stunned by the intensity of the action, but he quickly recovered as she gripped the back of his neck, keeping him close. His hands moved to her waist, Gabby carefully sliding her hand down his chest, being mindful of trauma his body had sustained today as she came to a stop at the waistband of his boxers, her fingers snapping the material against his skin.
Gabby suddenly pulled back, Matt panting as she took a slight step away from him, his eyes searching her face as she moved her arm up towards her sling. Slowly, she unclipped it, Matt immediately moving to help her as he carefully slid the sling down from her body, Gabby grimacing slightly as she stretched out her arm. As he placed the sling on top of the dresser, Gabby methodically began the process of removing her shirt, Matt quickly halting her movements, her eyes finding his.
"Are you sure?" He panted, his eyes flickering to her lips before meeting her eyes. "I don't… I don't wanna hurt you."
"I'm sure." She responded, Matt searching her gaze for any sign of deception, but he found none.
"We can wait, and do this another time if you need to." He tried again, Gabby shaking her head. "I'm not going anywhere."
"I know you're not, but I want to… After everything that happened these last few weeks, and everything today… You won't hurt me, Matt." She murmured, Casey giving her a slow nod before leaning forward, pressing a soft kiss against her lips. When he pulled back, he went to work on her shirt, getting her left arm out of the sleeve and lifting it over her head, sliding the material down off her right arm, doing what he could to limit her shoulder's movement.
Dropping the material to the ground, Matt's eyes traced over her bare chest, seeing more signs of trauma covering her skin, but the worst by far was her shoulder, intense bruising already covering the area from where it had been dislocated, and then popped back into place. It was gruesome, and he knew it had to have been hurting her, Matt sighing softly before he leaned down, pressing a light kiss over the discolored skin, his hand rubbing along her bare side. Gabby's good arm wrapped around his back, lightly stroking his skin as their chests pressed together, the two relishing in the feeling of being this close after weeks apart, both of them breathing slowly as they decompressed after the events of today, Matt pressing another kiss to her shoulder before slowly pulling from her grasp. Grabbing her left hand in his, he slowly led her to the bed, Matt pulling back the covers before she sat down, Gabby carefully scooting to the middle.
As she got comfortable, Matt slowly slid his boxers down his legs, gently kicking them off as they landed on the floor, Gabby's head resting on the pillow as he carefully climbed onto the bed, his body twinging slightly at the sharp movement. But Matt ignored it, his want for her outweighing everything else. Moving carefully, Matt grabbed ahold of her injured arm, resting it on the bed to keep it out of the way. Gabby brought her left hand up to his head, running her fingers through his short hair as he hovered over her, peppering her skin with soft kisses. He started at her upper chest, his lips dragging along her battered skin as he skillfully moved down her body. He focused his attention on her breast bone, Gabby's chest heaving as he slowly moved towards her left breast, her breath catching in her throat as he took her nipple into his mouth. His spent plenty of time focusing on her skin, Gabby scratching his scalp as he moved to her other side, giving it the same treatment, warmth pooling in her stomach as he meticulously worked her up.
Casey stayed in that position as long as he could bear it, but when the pain in his shoulder became too much, he knew he needed to keep moving, or this night would end far too quickly for his liking. Reluctantly, he released her from his mouth, Gabby's chest and stomach rising and falling underneath him as he continued kissing his way down her body, his lips staying on her until he got to the waistband of her shorts, Matt slowly pulling back.
Without a word, Matt slid his fingertips underneath the edge of the last piece of clothing between them, beginning to slowly pull the loose material down her body. He was careful, not wanting to hurt her injured leg, Matt taking his time to remove the clothing. Once he was in the clear, Matt tossed the shorts to the ground, his eyes soaking in the sight in front of him, taking a moment to appreciate the view.
"You okay?" Gabby murmured, unsure of why he had stopped all of a sudden, Matt's eyes moving up her body before landing on her face, a soft smile tugging at his lips when he met her gaze.
"I'm perfect." He breathed out, Gabby grinning softly as he situated himself between her legs, spreading them apart enough to give him room, Matt not wanting to put any pressure on the top of her thigh where the gash was.
Once he was positioned, Matt grabbed the covers, pulling them up over them before he hovered over her, Gabby's hand immediately resting on his waist. Reaching in between them, Matt lined himself up to her entrance, his eyes finding hers quickly. "You sure you're okay?" He asked one last time, Gabby's bottom lip tucked in between her teeth. "We can stop right now if you're not."
But she shook her head, Gabby giving him an encouraging smile. "I'm good." She assured him, Matt nodding before he slowly sunk into her. A sharp gasp escaped her lips when he filled her completely, Matt kissing her neck as he stilled inside her, giving her time to adjust to him after weeks of being apart.
Gabby ran her hand along the back of his neck, tapping his skin gently, Matt lifting up to look at her, his bright blue eyes shining in the dim room. "Do you need me to stop?" He asked, even though he hadn't moved yet, Gabby flashing him a soft grin as she shook her head.
"No." She replied simply, guiding him back towards her as their lips connected, Matt smiling against her before kissing her back, his forearms resting on the mattress as he slowly began to slide in and out of her.
His movements were slow, their kisses deliberate as they moved together, Gabby letting him do most of the work, her beaten body unable to help much as his thrusts went deeper. They took their time, Matt keeping his pace steady and easy, the feeling of his skin on hers filling her with a sense of safety. Her breath caught in her throat when he stalled deep inside her for a moment, Matt swallowing the moan that left her lips as he felt her start to tighten around him, before he continued on.
In the months that had passed since they first met, they'd been in this position more times than they could count, but this was different. For the first time, they were actually together when they had fallen into bed together, and it changed everything. Every moment felt real, like there was a deeper meaning behind what they were doing, an emotional intensity hanging in the air around them as they connected with one another, Gabby clutching onto him with as much strength as she could muster.
As her body continuously clenched around him, Matt wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to hold on, but he would do everything he could to make this last as long as possible, neither of them wanting this moment to end.
Casey stared up at the ceiling as he laid on his back, his hand resting on his chest while he took slow breaths, his mind elsewhere as he held onto the woman beside him. They had been lying here together for nearly half an hour, the two falling into one another once they both had finished, their bodies euphorically achy as they laid together.
Laying here now, he knew they probably shouldn't have done what they just did, Matt's body already feeling the effects of that much activity, his muscles aching in a way that wasn't necessarily pleasant as they recovered from their time together. But he didn't regret it, and he knew she didn't either, both of them needing that more than they realized. And had it not been for their injuries, he knew they would've been in the middle of round two right about now.
When they had finished moments ago, Matt had collapsed on the bed beside her, laying on her left side, trying to avoid her injured arm, Gabby immediately having tucked herself into him, her bare chest resting against his side as she slowly placed her right hand on his chest. His arm had wrapped around her, resting low on her hip as the sheets laid over his stomach, Gabby having pulled them up to cover her chest. He had been a little hesitant to hold onto her at first, Matt not wanting to risk hurting her, but once he knew she was alright, he relaxed, relishing in the comfort that having her this close gave him. There was no other feeling like this in the world; being with Gabby, and being this close to her, and it was a feeling he would gladly experience for the rest of his life.
Maybe he was getting ahead of himself, but he didn't care. Even though they hadn't had a label to what they were, these last few months with Gabby had been some of the best of his life, and he could only imagine now that they were together, things would only get better.
But he wasn't naive, and he knew there were still discussions to be had. There were still things they needed to talk about; mainly the thing that had started the downward spiral of them in the first place.
"You're thinking so loud." Gabby murmured, Matt smirking as he was pulled from his thoughts, his eyes moving down to look at the top of her head.
"I thought you were asleep." He replied softly, giving her hip a squeeze.
"No, not yet… Clearly you're not either." She responded, pressing a kiss to the side of his chest. "What's going on in there? You've been out of it for awhile…"
"Just thinking." He told her, Gabby pressing her cheek against his chest.
"About?" She prodded, Matt tapping his index finger over her hand as their hands both rested over his breast bone.
"You… Us." He responded lightly, feeling her smile against his skin.
"Anything you care to share?" She continued, Matt drawing in a deep breath, wincing slightly at the pressure on his bruised ribs. Gabby sensed his hesitation immediately, her eyebrows furrowing as she tilted her head up, finding his gaze quickly. "You okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm good… I just-" He cut himself off, Gabby frowning softly.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, it's nothing." He was quick to assure her, bringing his hand up to caress the back of her head. "There's just been something I've been thinking about, but it's late… We can talk about it some other time."
"Okay, well now you have to tell me." She responded, Matt chuckling softly. "I'm serious, what is it?"
"...I don't think you're gonna wanna talk about it, at least not right now." He tried again, regretting having even said anything at all, Gabby raising her eyebrows.
"Well, I'll be the judge of that, now what is it?" She asked, running her tongue along the inside of her cheek.
"I just… I still don't understand what happened, and I can't stop thinking about it." He prefaced, Gabby waiting for him to elaborate. "...I don't understand why you were so upset when those pregnancy tests were negative." He spoke softly, Gabby's eyes falling closed as she adjusted her head, facing his chest. "I don't wanna upset you, I really don't, and that's why I wasn't gonna bring it up tonight… But I still have no idea what happened. And I was so worried- I still am worried." He breathed out, figuring it best to just get all this off his chest. "We don't have to talk tonight if you don't want to, but I just want you to know that you can talk about it, whatever this is." He murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead, Gabby nuzzling into his chest.
"No, I know we need to talk about it…" She replied quietly as he ran his hand along her side. "I know all that got so messed up, and you deserve to know why… I was upset, I was, but it wasn't about you- at least not really." She admitted, Matt keeping a comforting grip on her.
"Was it… I know I already asked you this, but you can tell me the truth… Were you wanting to be pregnant? Is that what had you so upset?" He questioned, Gabby releasing a heavy breath. "Because if that is it, we can talk about it, but I just don't know what all was going on with you, and I want to help, if I can." He continued, his thumb stroking along the skin on her side.
"It wasn't that." She responded, her eyes staring at the wall as they laid together. "I wasn't wanting to be pregnant, I was relieved when those tests were negative, I promise." She told him, Matt nodding slowly as he waited for more of an explanation. "I just… There's a lot of things all that brought up, some of which had to do with you and some that didn't." She added vaguely, Matt doing what he could to follow her.
"Okay…" He replied slowly, running his tongue along his bottom lip, Gabby releasing a soft sigh.
"It wasn't that I wanted to be pregnant, because I didn't, but I guess… I guess I had kind of accepted the fact that I was." She started to explain, Matt listening intently. "Everything added up, so I just figured I was pregnant, and I had kind of prepared myself for that… Then everything you were saying right after I took the test, about how we'd be okay, and how everything would work out… I don't know how to explain it, but it just made me believe that everything would be fine, and that we'd have this kid, and it would all work out… But then when the tests were negative, it- I don't know, it was just a weird feeling. It just kind of threw me a bit." She admitted, Matt never loosening his grip on her. He didn't want to interrupt her, but he also wanted her to know he was still here, and that he wasn't judging her for what she was feeling. "And me thinking I was pregnant, it made everything between us much more real, and that scared me, too… It all just kind of terrified me… If that makes any sense."
"It does." He was quick to assure her, Gabby nodding slowly. "I know all that, that day when we thought you were pregnant, it was hard. It was a lot to try and come to terms with, and I kind of just assumed you were, too, so I get where you're coming from… It was a lot to deal with, and I'm sorry if I pushed you too hard. I just wanted to help you deal with it. I mean, I know you can handle yourself, but from what I could tell, you weren't really handling it…"
"No, I wasn't." She agreed, taking a deep breath. "I know you were just trying to help me, but there was so much I hadn't even dealt with, I didn't know how to let you in when there were things I didn't understand, either…" She spoke, Matt's eyebrows furrowing as he suddenly remembered her earlier words.
"You mean the stuff that wasn't about me?" He questioned, Gabby blinking quickly. "Earlier you said some of it was about me, and some of it wasn't, is that what you're talking about?"
Gabby bit down on her bottom lip, her chest moving up and down quickly as her heart rate began to speed up a bit, Matt feeling her working herself up.
"We don't have to talk about it." He spoke quickly, frowning as he felt the change in her body. "If you can't, that's okay… I don't want you to be upset." He murmured, pressing a lingering kiss to the top of her head, hoping to calm her down.
"No, it's just- uh," She cleared her throat, closing her eyes as she took another long breath. "I don't really wanna talk about it, but, I um…" Matt squeezed her side, giving her all the time she needed to continue. "...I was pregnant before." Casey's eyebrows furrowed as the words left her lips, his confusion instantly morphing into dread, Matt knowing it was unlikely that there was a happy ending to this story. "It was a few years back… Bryan and I hadn't been together all that long, but I, uh- I lost it." She murmured, her voice barely audible, her words unsteady as Matt tightened his grip even more, his eyes falling closed. "It happened early, no one knew- Well, Bryan and my family did, but no one else knows… the house doesn't know." She clarified, Matt nodding sadly.
"I'm so sorry, Gabby." He practically whispered, his voice filled with hurt and concern, Gabby clenching her eyes shut as she shook her head.
"It's okay, it is what it is." She spoke quickly, swallowing the lump in her throat before continuing. "But, yeah, um- all of this, it kind of brought all that up again, and I… I never really dealt with what happened, and all of it- it was just too much." She admitted, Matt sliding his hand along her side, pressing his lips against her head as he tried to settle the shock in his system. "Having to deal with that, and then everything else I was feeling about it, with you… It all just hit me at once and I needed time to get past all of that, and I kind of shut you out in the process. I didn't mean to, or want to, but I- I just needed a second to breathe. I needed time."
"You don't need to explain yourself." He spoke softly, his lips still resting against the top of her head. "I had no idea, and I'm so sorry that happened… I'm sorry this brought all that up again."
"It's alright." Gabby replied softly, pressing a soft kiss to his chest. "Really, it is… I'm feeling okay now, I'm fine." She told him, Matt giving her a nod, tapping his finger against the back of her hand that was resting on his chest.
"Okay… But if you're ever not, you know I'm here." He murmured, Gabby giving him a nod before relaxing back into his chest, her aching body desperate for rest. "How about this," He changed the subject, not wanting her mind to linger for too long, Gabby's eyebrows raising as she rested against his chest. "What if we look at this as our fresh start?" He asked, seeing a soft smile form over her face. "Obviously, we can't forget everything that happened, and we shouldn't… But us starting this, us being together, it could be a fresh start for us."
"I'd like that." She responded, Matt smiling when he saw the small grin across her face, the smile quickly disappearing when a heavy yawn left her lips.
"Me too… but right now, we need to get some sleep. We can talk more tomorrow." He told her, Gabby nodding as she closed her eyes, her body melting into his. "Night, Gabby."
"Goodnight Matt."
Casey woke up with a soft smile on his face, feeling a complete sense of contentment as he slowly came into consciousness, registering the warmth of the woman in his arms, her body pressed into his just as they had been last night. As a soft yawn escaped his lips, Matt slowly became more aware of his surroundings, the firefighter opening his eyes as he continued to wake up, Casey glancing down to see Gabby still sound asleep in his grasp.
It took a few seconds, but Matt slowly began to register the discomfort his body was in, his smile soon morphing into a grimace as he felt the difference aches and pains throughout his body, the uncomfortable sensation not aided by the fact he hadn't moved a muscle in hours. If his and Gabby's current position was any indication, they hadn't moved an inch since they fell asleep, which had led his already sore muscles to send an uncomfortable sensation through his body. But, as he spared another quick glance to Gabby, he knew a little pain was worth it, Matt just glad to see her sleeping.
He knew she hadn't been sleeping well since their fight all those weeks ago, so to see her now in a deep sleep, it eased his worries a little bit, knowing how much her body needed the rest. And when he turned to look towards the clock on the nightstand, he was pleasantly surprised to see that he had slept a good bit, too, the time showing it was a little after nine. Despite how comfortably he fell asleep, he hadn't been expecting to get a very restful night of sleep, but luckily he had. Even though he woke up in some discomfort, he had slept through the night without any interruptions, Matt having expected the pain to wake him up at least once, but it hadn't. And now, he knew once he could some of his pain medication in him, the dull ache he was feeling throughout his body would start to go away.
As much as he would've loved to lay here until Gabby woke up, he knew he couldn't. For starters, he knew he needed to take his pain meds sooner rather than later, it having been over twelve hours since he had last taken any. He wasn't feeling anything too bad right now, but he didn't want to wait around until things became unbearable. And he also needed to go to the bathroom, both things not able to be done in the warmth and comfort of Gabby's bed.
Pressing a soft kiss on her forehead, Matt began the process of disentangling himself from her, being extra careful with her arm, skillfully moving her hand from his chest down to the mattress as he slid out from under her. He kept a firm touch on her until she was steady against the bed, Gabby not even registering the movement as she continued sleeping like nothing had happened, Matt missing her warmth instantly. Before he got up, he adjusted the sheet that had fallen down to her waist, Matt pulling it up over her shoulders before he slowly climbed from the bed, his body cracking as he moved for the first time in hours. It was a weird sensation, Matt biting back a groan as he felt a flood of pain localized in his lower back, his entire body now stinging as he used muscles that had been dormant since last night, his aches and pains becoming more apparent now that he was up and moving around.
As he took the few steps towards her bathroom, he slowly began stretching his sprained shoulder, Matt grimacing as he felt the stiffness and the sharp, needle-like pain stabbing the nerves in his shoulder. But, despite the pain, it felt good for him to be up and moving, even though the limp he still walked with was annoying.
After quickly going to the bathroom and washing his hands, Matt walked back into the bedroom, smiling softly seeing Gabby still sound asleep. He moved as quietly as he could, not wanting to be the thing that woke her up. As he stepped around her bed towards her dresser, he couldn't help but smirk at seeing their clothes thrown around the room, her once neat bedroom clearly showing the signs of their activities from last night, Matt stopping when he got to the pajama pants Gabby had gotten out for him last night. The pants that he had tried to put on, but he never actually got the chance to as she'd dropped them to the ground.
Slowly bending over to pick them up, he groaned when he felt his back pull, most of his pain coming from that area as he slowly straightened back up again, the pajama pants in his grasp. It took some maneuvering, and a lot of patience, but eventually he got them on, his lower half now covered as he slowly began walking towards the door, checking to make sure Gabby was still asleep before he stepped into the hall.
Casey padded his way down the hallway, a chill running through his spine as his bare feet hit the cold hardwood, Matt wishing he'd put on more clothes as he was suddenly being reminded of how cool Gabby liked her home to be. He had noticed it the times he'd been at Antonio's place with her, but it was the most obvious at his apartment. Whenever she'd be there with him for any extended period of time, as in more than an hour or two, she'd always change the thermostat to at least five degrees cooler than he kept it, if not more. He didn't understand it, how she could live with it being so cold all the time, but eventually he just stopped changing it back when she left, the firefighter deciding to leave it be, knowing she'd change it when she got there anyway. And while he had found it amusing, and a little concerning, he would rather her be comfortable when she had been spending so much of her time at his place, so he left it alone.
And now walking through the chilly apartment, he was being reminded of just how cold she liked things, Matt shivering slightly as he continued towards the kitchen. He soon found his prescriptions sitting on the counter where he'd left them last night, accompanied by his discharge paperwork, Matt continuing around the island towards the far counter, stopping in front of her coffee pot. Knowing she probably wouldn't be asleep too much longer, Matt decided to go ahead and brew some coffee, Casey quickly finding everything he needed. Although he wasn't here when things had been put away, he was able to find things relatively quickly, Gabby always choosing functionality over everything else.
Once he'd gotten the coffee started, Matt grabbed two mugs from the cabinet, placing them both on the counter before stepping a few steps to the side, grabbing another glass from a separate cabinet. With the cup in hand, he turned around towards the faucet, Matt stopping in front of the sink positioned at the island, filling up the glass about halfway before he turned the water off.
Reaching across the counter, he grabbed his medication, Matt eagerly popping the cap off and grabbing one of his pills, desperate for this ache in his lower back to go away. Tossing the pill into his mouth, he quickly swallowed it before chasing it with some water, Matt placing the glass back down on the counter.
While he continued waiting for the coffee, he couldn't help but look around the room, trying to get himself familiar with her new place, knowing he'd, hopefully, be spending a lot of time here. As he glanced towards the living room, he saw what he assumed to be Gabby's medications sitting out on the end table, Casey slowly limping his way over to them to check.
After quick observation, he saw she was on the same medication he was, both for pain and the antibiotic, only her doses for both were a little stronger. The thought made him wince, Matt remembering how much pain she'd been in when they were in that warehouse, her screams of pain flooding his mind over and over. It had been awful, something he'd probably never forget; but he hoped that she would.
Blowing out a sigh, Matt grabbed the two bottles and walked back towards the counter, placing them down. Slowly, he got out the correct dosage before setting them down on the island, grabbing his water glass and placing it next to the pills, wanting them to be ready for her to take whenever she woke up.
Casey continued to make himself busy while he waited for the coffee to finish, Matt about to pour himself a cup when he heard a sharp knock on her front door. From his position at the counter, he had a straight view to her door, Matt glancing over to it, the curtain covering the glass blocking whoever was there from view.
Pursing his lips together, he quickly tried to figure out what to do, knowing this wasn't his apartment, Matt soon deciding to just leave it alone. But when they knocked again, he realized this person was persistent, Casey releasing a heavy breath before sitting his coffee mug down, beginning to walk towards the door.
Knowing the time, he could only assume it was Shay coming to check up on Gabby, the blonde paramedic probably not knowing he was here with her. Matt knew their shift had ended already, and he really couldn't think of who else who would be here aside from Shay, except maybe her brother.
They knocked again as he got closer, Matt rubbing his hand over his face as he reached for the lock, turning the deadbolt before pulling open the door, ready to berate Shay about showing up so early.
But he never got a chance to get the words out, Matt's mouth opening slightly as he saw the two unfamiliar, yet very familiar, faces staring back at him, their brown eyes showing the same look of confusion and shock he was sure his were. Casey quickly closed his mouth as he stood in the doorway, his eyes bouncing back and forth between the two of them, none of them sure what to say as they stood there uncomfortably, Matt somewhat regretting his decision to come to the door as he stood face to face with Gabby's parents.
Well, how are we feeling? Gabby and Matt finally laid it all out there, and I'd say it went well. There's still something pretty important that they need to tell one another, but like Matt said, he doesn't want to rush things. I'm sure a lot of you were wanting them to say I love you, and I get it, but it didn't feel right for them to say it yet, even though Gabby definitely knows how she feels. There are still things they need to talk about, and Gabby especially needs to be able to trust herself with him, but hey, they're making progress. When the time's right, I'm sure they'll be saying those three words to each other. Also, looks like there's gonna be an… interesting morning happening with Gabby's parents and Matt, so that should be fun.
I hope you guys liked this one, and that it didn't disappoint you guys. I think some sweet Dawsey was definitely warranted after the last few chapters, even though having sex hours after falling through a building might not have been the most logical idea. But hey, when has it ever stopped them before? I know I didn't give a warning about the M rated part like I usually do, but I didn't want to give anything away about how the chapter was going to go. Hopefully, you all don't mind.
Thank you guys for reading, I'm so excited to hear what you thought of this one! To everyone who left me a review on the last chapter, thank you. It helped a lot hearing your thoughts.
Also, just so you all know, my updates on Thursday might be a little late, but I'm not sure yet. I'm having some tests done Thursday afternoon, and I don't know how long they're gonna take, so things might be a little delayed that day, but I'll get them up as soon as I can!