Overcompensation (based on that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond)

Lando was so proud, he felt about to burst apart at the seams. Quickly he hustled his guests in the large, overly bright hanger, smiling as Tendra handed Luke, Mara, Han and Leia glasses of bubbling, expensive white wine. The Baron picked up a second, unopened bottle, holding it out and inspecting the label. Yes, only the very best would do for this occasion.

"What's this all about, Calrissian?" Mara grumbled, taking the wine and sniffing it suspiciously.

"I kinda think it has something to do with that covered up big thing sitting in the center of the room," Han grunted, taking a big mouthful of the wine.

"Don't gulp that down," Lando admonished the Corellian. "It's five hundred credits a bottle!"

Leia's eyes drifted over to the 'thing' Han was referring to. It was, indeed, very big, and very long. Certainly much larger than an X-Wing, and from here, it looked larger than even the Millennium Falcon. And it was covered with a white tarp, so no one could tell what was underneath.

"Lando won't even tell me what this is all about," Tendra complained good-naturedly. "He insists he has to unveil his 'baby' so everyone can see it at the same time."

"Baby?" Luke questioned, raising his eyebrow.

"That's what he calls it," Tendra said with a laugh. "I've had to put up with his secret plans for over a year now."

"Ah," Han said, nodding. "He bought a new ship, so now we're here so he can show it off."

"Of course," Mara muttered, nevertheless sipping the wine. If she had to put up with Lando's bragging, she fully intended to lessen the pain with wine.

Walking toward the covered object, Lando spun around as he stood next to his 'baby', grinning like an overspiced Gammorean. "Tendra is quite right," he announced grandly. "I've made this my obsession now for the past year. I've personally designed every single detail, and oversaw its construction from beginning to end." He grandly waved his arm to indicate the covered object. "This... is my new ship!" Lando pulled at the tarp, and the thin material fell away from the shiny ship. "Ladies and gentlemen, I present the Tendra!"

Silence filled the room as the five people gaped at the ship. Han cleared his throat, and Mara shifted on her feet. Leia tore her stunned gaze away, suddenly finding her shoes interesting. Luke and Tendra literally had their mouths hanging open.

"Are you sure you want to name the ship after your wife?" Han finally said, breaking the quiet as he stared up at the ship.

"Of course," Lando replied, feeling irritated as the response. He'd expected applause and congratulations, at the very least. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because, it's, um," Mara tried to say, then turned her face away, desperately trying not to burst into laughter.

"It's... what?" Lando demanded, annoyed.

"Sort of masculine, dear," Tendra explained gently, moving forward and patting his arm.

"Sorta overcompensation, I'd say," Han added with a snort.

"What are you talking about?" Lando snapped, turning around to look up at his beautiful ship. The long, horizontal silver cylinder was the main body, with the cockpit sitting at the very front. The back of the ship bulged out on either side of the cylinder and held two powerful engines. Lando was positive his ship could easily out fly and outmaneuver the Falcon. "You're just jealous of my new ship, that's all."

Leia put her hand over her mouth, trying to stifle her laughter. "If you say so," the Princess gasped. Still, tears of mirth trickled out of her eyes.

"I've spent over two hundred thousand credits on this ship," Lando continued, trying to ignore both Leia and Mara, who were now bending over and holding their sides. "I don't know what everyone finds so funny about it."

Tendra looked up at the ship, her husband's pride and joy. Then she leaned over and whispered in his ear. At first, Lando looked confused. Then, as he stared at his ship, comprehension dawned in his eyes. "It... it looks like a giant WHAT?"

"Overcompensation," Han repeated, taking another big gulp of wine. "Some of us got it, Lando, and some of can only dream. I'd say you're in the dreamer category."

"I... I can't fly around in a ship that looks like... " Lando trailed off, his face gray with horror. "People will talk!"

"I can imagine what they'll be saying, too," Mara said in agreement. "Here comes Calrissian and his big - "

"SHUT UP!" Lando roared. "Why didn't someone tell me? I had engineers checking out my specs!"

Han couldn't help himself. "Lando, you just fantasize that those are your specs."

When Lando took a threatening step toward Han, Luke quickly stepped between the men. "Come on. Maybe no one will notice," Luke said, trying to keep the peace. "I'm sure it's a very nice ship. Inside, anyway."

"That's right, dear," Tendra said soothingly. "Maybe we're the only ones that see... that."

It was at that moment that Threepio and Artoo came inside the hanger, and the protocol droid was busy arguing with his counterpart. "I told you we would be late if you insisted on recharging first," Threepio said, then stopped in his tracks. "Dear me. Is that Baron Calrissian's new ship? It appears to be a giant - "

"NOOO!" Lando screamed, throwing the bottle of expensive wine on the ground, not caring that it shattered into a million pieces. Then he ran out of the hanger without looking back.

"Or maybe not," Tendra said with a sad sigh.

THE END