The SithBride of Coruscant – L/M H/L – undoubtedly AU

Mara Jade stalked into Leia and Han Solo's private apartment, shutting the outer door with the Force using such strength that it rattled the window panes. While Han gave a startled jump, Leia only looked up calmly from her morning cup of caffe at her future sister-in-law's dramatic appearance. "Hello, Mara."

"Get up on the wrong side of the galaxy this morning, Jade?" Han added with a bit more bravado than he felt.

"Did either of you submit my name to those… those…. cretins?" Mara asked without preamble.

Han shrugged. "I know an awful lot of cretins. Can you be more specific?"

The furious red-head marched up to the table, slamming a small message disk down. "The cretins that holo-record the low-life, worthless, trashy holo-show called 'SithBrides'… those cretins!"

Leia and Han exchanged a bemused look. "Huh?" Han asked.

"Wait," Leia said suddenly. "Is that the show where those really nasty ladies make life miserable for their families and their unsuspecting wedding party before they get married?"

"Yes!" Mara shouted in disgust.

"I had no idea you watched those kinds of shows, Princess," Han remarked. "Was that show your inspiration for the whole Hapan event?"

Leia glared at her husband. "No, but it should have been. And I do not watch that show, but I see the holo-ads for it all the time. Jaina nags at me to allow her to watch it, but I refuse to allow her to fill her mind with such garbage."

Han cleared his throat and looked down at the table-top. "Maybe I ought to go see if Chewie needs some help working on the Falcon."

"You're not going anywhere," Leia snapped. "Have you allowed our daughter to watch that show?"

"I had no idea what it was about," Han mumbled, still looking down at the table. "It's not my fault."

"So, getting back to the real subject - neither of you sent my name in to them for consideration?" Mara questioned intently.

"No, I wouldn't do that," Han replied defensively. "Like I said, I had no clue what it was all about."

"I wouldn't do that to you," Leia assured Mara.

"Maybe it was Jaina," Han mused aloud.

"HAN!"

"Well, it was just a passing thought," Han said hurriedly. "If I were you, I'd check out Wes Janson's alibi. Or maybe Lando's."

"Wes is a good possibility," Leia stated, picking up the disk Mara had brought with her. "What does this say?"

"The producers of this show will foot the entire cost of my wedding if I allow them to holo-record the events leading up to my wedding, like picking out my dress and the rehearsal dinner and all that."

"That sounds like a good deal to me," Leia said. "Weddings cost a fortune. What's the catch?"

"I have to terrorize everyone around me, constantly."

"Isn't that right up your line of work?" Han said without thinking. Seeing Mara's grim expression, he added, "It was, wasn't it?"

"Han," Leia said in a warning tone. "Apologize before you end up on sleeping on the sofa tonight."

"Sorry," he murmured.

"Luke thought this was all really funny," Mara muttered. "At least he did until I threatened him with my lightsaber."

Leia gave a snort of laughter. "My turn – sorry!"

"If - I mean when - I find out who is responsible for this joke, I'm going to be doing more than just threatening them. If it's Janson, he'd better start running now."

Leia regarded the disk thoughtfully. "But still… a free wedding. Free is good."

"Are you kidding me?" Mara shot back. "Have you ever seen the show? I'd look like Darth Jade. Everyone would be feeling sorry for poor, innocent Luke having to spend the rest of his life with a nasty, nasty …." Mara trailed off, trying to think of an appropriate word.

"Former assassin?" Han offered.

Mara's green eyes narrowed. "Are you telling me I qualify as a SithBride?"

"No," Han said, wincing as Leia gave his calf a swift and painful kick under the table. Undeterred, he plunged ahead, "Look at it this way. Everyone in the galaxy already thinks those things about you, anyway. So what will it hurt to play along and let those idiots foot the bill? Just make sure you tally up some sizable costs, and don't cut corners. I'd suggest you have a huge drink budget, and make sure you have lots and lots of Whyren's Reserve."

"It's always about you, isn't it Solo?"

"Yeah, but I don't usually like to brag about it, though."

The buzzer on the door sounded, and Leia went to answer, sensing it was her brother before she opened the door. "Hello, Luke. I suppose you're here to see Mara."

Luke's face lit up upon seeing his fiancée, and he gave her a quick kiss. "I have some good news about the wedding reception hall you wanted to rent and some bad news."

"Go on," Mara said with a nod.

"It's available, but the rental fee is out of our budget," Luke said. "Unless we cut down on the reception costs."

"No!" Han objected. "You can't do that."

Seeing Luke's confused expression, Mara said, "Solo wants an unlimited supply of expensive booze."

"We have a budget, Han," Luke tried to point out.

"You wouldn't have to have one," Han grumbled, taking the disk from his wife and waving it under Luke's nose. "Just convince Mara to go along with SithBrides, and everything you want is yours. It's almost as magical as that Force-stuff."

Luke gave Mara a look of dismay. "Why'd you have to tell them? Especially Han!"

"Hey" Han objected. "What's wrong with telling me?"

"We're not lowering ourselves to do such a demeaning show," Luke explained patiently. "No matter what they're willing to pay us."

Leia walked over to a desk, and picked up a glossy photo-flimsy that Mara had left behind the other night. "You could buy your dream wedding gown," Leia said, thrusting the flimsy at Mara. "The one that costs as much as your first ship."

Mara took the flimsy and gazed longingly at the most gorgeous, glittering gown she'd ever seen. "I could, couldn't I?"

"Whose side are you on?" Luke shouted at his sister. Appalled, the Jedi snatched the flimsy from Mara's grasp. "No! No, no and no! I forbid you to even think about it!"

Upon seeing the deadly expression on the former assassin's face, both Han and Leia took a quick step back, wanting to get out of the danger zone.

"Forbid?" Mara said the word softly, then repeated it a bit louder, "Forbid?" Then she screamed the word, "FORBID?" She whipped her head back and forth before turning her glare at Luke. "Is there someone in this room you are talking to that I can't see? Perhaps some Force-ghost friend, Skywalker?"

"N..no?"

"So you are talking to me?!"

"I… I didn't mean it that way, Mara," Luke stuttered back. "I thought we'd already discussed this matter, and we were in agreement."

"That was before!"

"Before, what?"

"Before you tried running my life, and giving me orders, and forbidding me to do things," Mara yelled. "I'm calling this producer, and I'm signing their contract. I want that dress and I want that reception hall, and I want a hundred cases of Whyren's Reserve, too!"

"Go, Mara," Han said, nodding in approval.

"Shut up, Solo," Mara snapped. "This has nothing to do with your wanton desires to get drunk at my wedding. It has everything to do with what I want." She spun around to face a shocked Luke, shaking her finger in his face. "And you'd better not do anything to stop me, either." With those words, Mara Jade stormed out of the apartment, leaving the three in stunned silence.

After a moment, Han finally spoke, "And there goes the latest SithBride – Darth Jade."

"Shut up, Han," Luke warned. "This is all your fault."

"It is not," Han argued back. "Leia showed her the picture of the dress."

"True," Luke agreed. "You're both on my kriff list." Then, like Mara had a few moments earlier, he slammed out of the apartment.

"You're sleeping on the sofa, Solo," Leia told her husband.

Luke decided to try and reason with Mara before things got out of hand. Standing outside the bedroom door, he rapped softly on the orowood frame. "Mara? Dearest? Can I speak to you for a few moments?"

He was a bit surprised when the door opened so quickly, and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier."

"I accept your apology," Mara said shortly. "Now go away. I'm busy booking reservations for our banquet hall."

"You haven't contacted that lame holo-show already, have you?"

"And what if I have?" she shot back. "Just because we're getting married doesn't mean I can't make my own decisions anymore. This has nothing to do with you."

"How can you say that?" Luke replied, stunned. "It's my wedding, too! Maybe I don't want everything I say and do put on galaxy-wide display."

"They won't be following you around, so don't worry about it."

"Mara," Luke tried again, getting desperate. "Think about the show's title – 'SithBrides.' Sith are the bad guys. Don't you think appearing on a show that embraces yelling and anger, which are Sith characteristics by the way, will be sending a bad message to the beings of the galaxy? We're Jedi, and Jedi are supposed to eschew those negative emotions."

Mara's expression softened. "I guess you're right. I never thought of it that way."

Luke felt a rush of relief. "Good. I'm glad we're – "

Mara's comlink buzzed, and she quickly replied, "Yes?"

The excited voice of Mirax Horn, wife of Corran Horn, came over the small speaker. "Mara, it's Mirax! Guess what?"

"What?"

"I just heard from Winter that Leia pulled some strings and got you an appointment with Jari'kyn! Isn't that wonderful? Can I come with you when you go? I've always wanted to see the inside of Felderklins."

"What's a Felderklin, and who's Jari'kyn?" Luke wanted to know, suddenly concerned at the frenzied and somewhat glassy look that appeared in Mara's eyes.

"Twi'lek Jari'kyn is the designer of that dress that I want, and Felderklins is the most exclusive wedding gown store on Coruscant. Stang, it's probably the most exclusive wedding store in the entire galaxy," Mara replied breathlessly.

"Mara…." Luke started over, knowing he was losing her again to the darkside that apparently lurked close to the surface of every bride. "You don't need a designer dress. We can't afford it, remember?"

"Yes, I can," Mara returned. "All I have to do is sign that contract. It's just a dumb show, and the title isn't being serious, is it?"

"Please don't do this," Luke begged.

But it was too late. Mara was already talking to Mirax, thinking about nothing other than the dress and Luke faded away, forgotten, as insubstantial as the mists. "Of course you can come along. I can't believe I'm actually going to meet Jari'kyn and buy one of her dresses!"

Luke could only bury his face in his hands and groan.

Three weeks later….

The silver recording droid, which closely resembled C-3PO except for the large holo-cam lens in the center of his 'forehead', stood nearby, pointing his lens toward the group as Mara, Leia and Mirax walked up to the door of the exclusive bridal salon. They were also followed closely by a short human male with slicked back, thinning hair and a narrow mustache perched above his pursed lips.

"Now, ladies," the producer of SithBrides with the unlikely name of Xizzel Xazzel was saying, "Remember to be loud, vocal and above all, argumentative. The viewers like a lot of fighting, do you understand?"

Mara spun on her toe to face the annoying man. "Producer Xazzel, you promised me that you'd be invisible and silent. So shut your mouth before I stuff my lightsaber down your throat."

Instead of being intimidated, the short man clapped. "Exactly! Perfect! You are a wonderful SithBride, Marakins."

"Quit calling me 'Marakins.'"

Leia leaned closer to Mara and whispered, "Did he ever tell you who submitted your name for this show?"

"He said that information was confidential, but I'm not too sure he'd be able to resist Luke using the Force to probe his weak mind."

"No telling secrets, unless the viewers can hear them, too," the little man twittered, then lifted a old-fashioned silver whistle to his lips and blew out a shrill noise. "Let's go try on dresses, ladies."

Immediately a very tall, older human woman with a gray bun and a bulbous nose appeared, blocking their way inside. She lifted her chin, and narrowed her gaze at the group. "May I help you?"

"Yes, we're here to see Designer Jari'kyn," Leia explained politely.

"Do you have an appointment?"

Mara shoved her way forward. "I'm the bride, and I'd appreciate it if you let me handle this, Leia," Mara snapped, genuinely annoyed that Leia spoke first. Addressing the older woman, Mara continued, "Yes, I certainly do have an appointment. What do you take me for, a simpleton?"

The woman lifted a small, hand-held screen, and said, "Your name, please."

"Mara Jade."

"I have no such name on Jari'kyn's appointment calendar."

"WHAT?!" Mara snatched the screen from the startled woman's grasp, and pressed the scroll button. "That's not possible! Wait… here it is." She glared at Leia. "It's under your name. Why would you put the appointment under your name? Whose wedding is this, anyway? You've already had your day in the limelight, and now it's my turn! This is all about me, President Organa-Solo, not you!"

"I'm sure it was just a mistake, Mara," Leia said, trying to soothe Mara's ruffled feathers. "I did state my name, but I made it clear I was calling on your behalf."

"From now on, don't do me anymore favors and don't speak for me," Mara huffed out. "I can manage things myself." She turned her wrath toward the store's employee. "Take me to Jari'kyn or I'll have your job in less time than you can say 'unemployment benefits.'"

"Yes, Miss Jade," the employee replied tightly, turning to lead the way.

Waiting until the recording droid and the producer were further away, Mirax turned to look at Leia. "Is Mara acting that way for the show?"

"I wish that were true," Leia said. "But I've got to admit I'm not too sure anymore."

Mirax shook her head sadly. "Poor, poor Luke."

Back in the Solo apartment

"Horn, Antilles, Janson, Calrissian, Karrde," Han was saying as he read from the lengthy list he was compiling. "Ackbar, Terrik, Solusar, Celchu…" He paused for a moment before adding, "I hope you're not planning on having Isolder come to this, 'cuz I really don't like that guy." When Luke didn't reply, Han looked up from his flimsy, and noticed his brother-in-law staring forlornly into his untouched beverage. "Are you even listening to me?"

"I'm not sure having a bachelor party is a good idea," Luke mumbled. "I'm too worried about Mara."

"Bachelor parties are traditional," Han argued. "Mara won't care. She trusts you."

Luke looked up at his friend, his eyes haunted. "It's not the trust issue. It's… just that the past few weeks…"

"What's happened?"

"I think Mara's flipped out," Luke said with a worried sigh. "She's not the same person she was before we got engaged."

"Weddings have a tendency to do that to women, kid. That's why us men have to stay out of the way and every time they ask for our input just say, 'I'm not sure, honey. Which one do you like best?' Then when they tell you, you nod and say, 'I couldn't agree more. That one is the best.'"

Luke frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Everything and anything," Han stated firmly. "The flowers, the cake, the color scheme, the style of the suits we wear, the guest list, the dinner menu. You name it."

"Oh," Luke said. "I don't care about any of that."

"Neither do the rest of the males in the galaxy," Han said knowingly. "But for some mysterious reason, the women want our opinion anyway. But if we do happen to give an opinion that goes against what they want, they'll just disregard what we say. It's a lose-lose situation, kid. And once you're married, it's the same thing with picking out a house and decorating it. Trust me on this."

"But why is Mara being so… mean? I'm starting to think she might really be a Sith, instead of just playing one on the holo-net. I hate that she agreed to do that show, but I don't dare say anything because if I do, she won't speak to me for days."

Han rubbed his chin. "Isn't hate from the darkside?"

"Yes, and so are weddings."

Jari'kyn adjusted the veil on Mara's head, nodding in approval. "The dress looks perfect on you."

"Of course it does," Mara agreed, tossing back her head, and looking over her shoulder at the back mirror that reflected the long, sparkling dress train.

"It is very pretty," Leia said as she walked around the small podium where Mara was perched. Slinky, low cut and heavily beaded, the dress was jaw-dropping. Luke would be speechless when he saw his bride coming down the aisle. Of course, if he saw the price he'd be speechless, too.

"Pretty?" Mara repeated with a sniff. "I'm more than pretty. I'm beautiful. Stunning. All the females in the galaxy are going to go insane with jealousy."

"Okay," Mirax mumbled under her breath.

Mara glared at her friend. "Speak up if you have something to say."

"Alright," Mirax said louder, becoming defiant. "While you've been trying on dress after dress, Leia and I have been given exactly one bridal attendant dress to try."

"So?" Mara snapped. "I'm the bride, you're not."

Mirax pointed at the purple, mauve and gray monstrosities both she and the Princess were still wearing. "These are Hutt ugly! The material sticks out in all the wrong places," she patted the large bow sitting on her rear end, "and the color look like someone jumped us in a back alley and beat us into a bloody, poofy, purple pulp."

"It's my wedding's color scheme," Mara shot back. "Are you telling me I have bad taste?"

"No, not at all," Leia put in, trying to keep Mara calm. "But I do agree this dress style does leave a bit to be desired." The Princess tugged at the wide sleeves, which gave the appearance that they were about to take flight.

"Too bad," Mara said. "This is my day, and I don't want my guests noticing anyone but me."

"If you force us to wear these awful dresses, they won't even see you, Mara," Mirax argued. "They won't be able to tear their eyes off the galaxy's ugliest bridesmaid dresses ever."

"I don't think so," Mara responded hotly. "I want my bridesmaids to look like a landspeeder wreck. I want everyone's attention on me. ME!" She turned her focus on the Twi'lek. "And this is the perfect dress for me. You'll have it ready in one month."

"One month!?" Jari'kyn gasped. "Oh, my dear. It takes three to four months to custom make a dress like this."

Mara's face grew still and red. "My wedding is in one month. Not three. Not four. ONE!"

"But…"

Mara pointed to Leia. "Do you know that woman sitting over there in that Hutt-ugly bridesmaid dress is the Chief of State? The head of the entire free galaxy? Do you really want everyone to know you refused to make a dress for the sister-in-law of the PRESIDENT? Not to even mention the fact that I'm marrying Luke Skywalker! THE Jedi Master Skywalker! Defender of the defenseless, and protector of the innocent and meek! Do you want to forever be remembered as the designer that disappointed Jedi Master Skywalker?"

"No…no…"

"If this dress isn't ready in ONE month, I will personally come here and remove your lekku's one by one with my lightsaber. Do I make myself clear?"

The Designer's eyes grew wide with fear, and she inclined her head. "Perfectly. It will be ready in one month."

"Of course it will."

"Why is she using you and Luke to throw her weight around?" Mirax whispered to Leia.

"What did you just say to Leia?" Mara screeched, stomping her foot.

"Nothing," Mirax said quickly. "Nothing at all."

"Don't talk about me behind my back, Horn!"

"This holo-show is going to make you a star, Mara Jade," Xizzel Xazzel cooed.

"Of course it will," Mara stepped off her platform and headed back into the dressing room. "Now we need to go pick out the cake."

Mirax waited until Mara was gone. "Leia?"

"Yes?"

"I'm scared."

"So am I," Leia admitted to her friend. "Everyone in the galaxy should be lying awake at night and quaking in their boots if they have a single gram of good sense."

As the wedding date drew ever closer, both Leia and Mirax had declined to accompany Mara during further expeditions, so Iella Antilles and Winter Celchu had been roped into going along for shopping for flowers and picking out the cake. Mara had insisted on the famous Chef Gormaanda catering her wedding dinner, as well as creating her elaborate ten-tiered cake. After several trips with the bride-to-be and the producer of SithBrides, Iella and Winter came down with a mysteriously long-lasting stomach ailment and stated they could no longer help Mara with her wedding planning.

Mara finally convinced Leia and Mirax to view her completed wedding cake, as she was running out of willing victims… err, friends.

The three ladies (followed by Xizzel Xazzel and his recording droid) entered the large catering store, gazing around in awe at the various droid workers busily chopping, dicing, blending and mashing. In the middle of all this activity was none other than the four-armed, four-starred Chef Gormaanda! Seeing her illustrious customers, the large humanoid female hurried over and gave Mara an enthusiastic hug with her many limbs.

"Darling! I've been expecting you!" Gormaanda gushed.

"Hello, Chef," Mara returned with far less enthusiasm as she extracted herself from the lady's bosomy embrace.

She smiled at Mirax and Leia. "I see you brought some different friends this time. Is that the President? I must say, I am so honored to meet you, darling." She leaned closer to Leia, and said quite loudly, "Can I confide something to you? I've had the biggest crush on that man you're married to for years! Ever since I watched your wedding on the HoloNet. If he weren't already spoken for, I swear I'd kidnap him, chain him up in my dungeon and have my way with him." She winked at the shocked Princess. "Believe me, he'd like it, too."

Mara turned toward Xazzel. "That might be a fun reality show to record."

"Uh," Leia said to the large female, while wondering if Gormaanda really had a dungeon somewhere, "I'll be sure to tell Han he's got a, um, fan."

"Fan … stalker," Mirax murmured. "Half dozen of one, six of the other…"

"I'd like to see my cake now, if you don't mind," Mara interrupted. "I have my bachelorette party tonight, and my wedding is tomorrow, and I want everything to be perfect."

"Of course, darling!" Gormaanda said fawningly. "I've prepared the best meal of my entire career for you, and you should know that I have received the Orto Culinary Academy Award for Engorgable Excellence THREE times! So for me to claim that I have outdone myself is saying something indeed." She pointed to her droids. "Glowblue Noodles! Chav! Bantha rump! All my specialties will be there for your guests' enjoyment. I'm so honored to be doing this for such a wonderful, famous couple."

"And we're paying you well, too," Mara pointed out.

"I am well worth it," Gormaanda assured her.

"Where's the cake?"

Gormaanda took Mara's elbow and hustled her off to another room, while Leia and Mirax tagged after the producer and the recording droid.

Inside the bakery area stood the tallest wedding cake currently in existence. Leia thought it was beautiful, but Mara apparently had a different viewpoint.

"It's LAVENDER!" Mara yelled in shock. "I don't want a LAVENDER cake!"

Gormaanda's eyes widened in surprise. "But, darling, that's the exact color you asked for."

Wild-eyed, Mara stomped over to the cake. "I said mauve! MAUVE! This cake is LAVENDER! I want mauve! Mauve, mauve, mauve! Is the filling even flavored with Berry Bliss like I asked for? I'll bet it's not. How stupid are you, anyway?"

"Mauve and lavender are essentially the same color," Mirax tried to point out.

"They are not," Mara snapped out. "Stay out of this, Mirax! If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it!"

"You asked me to come along," Mirax shot back hotly. "Isn't that the same thing?"

"No, it isn't," Mara responded, her tone icy.

"Maybe she can put another layer of icing over the cake," Leia suggested.

"Then it will be nothing but thick, gloppy icing," Mara complained. "My guests will gag from all that disgusting sugar!"

"That's not the only thing they'll be gagging on," Mirax said.

"What's THAT supposed to mean?"

"It means that your wedding is so over-the-top, excessive and gaudy that Luke will never live it down!"

"Why, why… you…." Mara spluttered out, and unable to think of a strong enough verbal response, she grabbed a handful of the lavender cake and threw it into Mirax's face.

"MARA!" Leia yelled, shocked.

"She deserved it!" Mara shouted, then took a step back, her expression changing from anger to embarrassment.

Mirax calmly wiped off the gooey mess from her face. "That's okay, Leia. This shows me what kind of person Mara truly is." She turned to the red-faced former assassin. "I quit, Jade. Find some other dupe to be in your wedding and wear that Force-cursed dress." With those words, Mirax Horn turned and walked out of the catering shop.

"You went too far," Leia told Mara sternly.

Holding her hands to her face, Mara said, "I…I don't know what came over me."

"You'll need to apologize to Mirax."

"No, you don't," Xazzel said. "This is exactly what you signed up for, Jade. Keep it going. Besides, we've already paid for your wedding dress, flowers, the rental hall and all this food. If you quit now, you'll be obligated to reimburse us for…" He looked down at a small calculator. "One hundred and two thousand, six hundred and forty-eight credits. Plus lawyer fees and fines for dropping out once the recording started, which should about double that number. Do you have that kind of money, honey?"

Leia's eyes widened at the amount. "Oh, my Stars!"

"I've ruined my wedding cake," Mara whispered, staring at her sticky hand.

"There, there, darling," Gormaanda said, patting Mara on the back. "I'll fix it right up and you'll never know there was a little accident. And I can lighten up the frosting without making it too thick, too."

Mara blinked, trying to focus on her current predicament. "You do that, Chef Gormaanda. I've got a bachelorette party to go to, and I want to have fun and not worry about my cake anymore." She addressed Leia, "You're my Maid of Honor, and a really good politician, so I'll expect you to patch things up with Mirax. It won't be a problem, will it?"

"And just like that, the Sith Bride is back," Leia said sadly.

Leia used every set of negotiating skills she possessed to put things right between Mara and Mirax. Eventually, with Mara apologizing over the comlink, Mirax agreed to be in the wedding and go to the bachelorette party, which, not coincidentally, was taking place at the same time Han was throwing Luke his bachelor party.

Mara's party took place in a private room inside an upscale Coruscant restaurant. It turned out to be a lot of fun, despite the annoying presence of the recording droid. At least Xizzel Xazzel, on the grounds he was a male, did not make an appearance, and without him there constantly egging on his 'star', Mara was also well-behaved, particularly to Mirax.

It was only toward the end of the party that things started getting a bit strange. Mara had consumed a bit too much alcohol and while she stood looking out of the open doorway, another boisterous group made their way inside the main part of the restaurant.

"Who that is?" Mara asked Winter.

Winter smiled. Of course she knew, because Winter never forgot a face or a conversation. "His name is General Horton Salms, and he is in charge of a Y-Wing squadron. His group also holds the title for Champion Slingball."

"Ha," Mara said loudly, blinking as the room swayed a bit. "Look how arrogant they are." She held up her glass and shouted across the restaurant. "Hey, Horton Salami!" The General as well as the other patrons turned their attention toward Mara. "Yeah, you, the General Dude lording over those other loser dudes! I have a proposition for you."

By this time, Leia, Iella, Mirax and Tionne Solusar had noticed the new commotion Mara was making. "Mara, maybe you should come back inside our room," Leia whispered.

General Salms swaggered over to the ladies. "I'm always open for a proposition, especially from beautiful women."

Mara stepped closer to the man, jabbing her fingernail into his chest. "That's not the kind of proposition I'm talking about, so drag your mind out of the tutter… err, I mean gutter."

"What are you doing now?" Iella hissed at her friend.

"I'm making a bet," Mara said, grinning. "I think we can beat these men at their own game – slingball."

"Now?" Mirax asked, stunned. "You want to go play a slingball game right now? It's night!"

"What are we playing for, pretty lady?" Salms questioned, leering.

"If we win, you have to pay us two hundred and ten thousand credits," Mara stated.

The man looked startled at the amount. "That's a lot of money. What do we get if - I should say - what do we get when we win?"

Mara frowned in thought. "If you win, I'll sign over ownership of my private ship."

"I doubt it's worth two hundred thousand credits," Salms stated. "You'll have to throw in a second ship." He gave a wicked grin and pointed to Leia. "Throw her husband's ship into the mix and we've got a bet."

"What?!" Leia gasped.

"The Millennium Falcon?" Mara asked dubiously. "Why in the galaxy would you want that piece of kriff?"

The man grinned. "Bragging rights."

"I can't do that. The Falcon's not even mine to gamble!" Leia stated firmly.

"It's half yours," Mara argued. "Besides, Han will never know, will he?"

"Then it's a deal?" the General asked eagerly.

"Deal!" Mara said, shaking the man's hand and totally ignoring Leia's loud protests to the contrary.

Several hours later…

Luke tried desperately to be heard over the loud music coming from the enthusiastic band. "Han? HAN?"

"What?" Han shouted back, taking a draw from his expensive cigga and blowing the smoke toward Luke.

The Jedi blinked, his eyes watering in the blue haze of the room. "I want to go home now."

"Are you crazy? The Twi'lek dancing girls haven't even arrived yet. Lando brought in the best from halfway across the galaxy. You don't want to disappoint Lando, do you?"

The younger man waved his hand toward the group of males filling the room. They were busy drinking, smoking and gambling. "I doubt anyone would notice I'm gone."

"Sure they would," Han said. "You can't leave your own party before three in the morning, anyway. It's rude."

"I've got to get up early tomorrow. I'm getting married, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. Are you sure about that, kid? It's not too late to back out, ya know."

"I'm sure," Luke replied. "After tomorrow is over, everything will be fine. Mara will go back to her normal self."

"And that's a good thing?"

"Ha," Luke muttered. "Not funny, Han."

Han took another drag on his cigga, knowing Leia would be livid upon smelling his clothes and his breath. She despised the smell of cigga smoke, and normally Han wasn't fond of it, either. But this was a special occasion, so Leia would simply have to forgive him.

Suddenly, the door burst open and six women quickly entered the smoke-filled room. It wasn't the Twi'lek dancing girls, however.

"Luke Skywalker!?" Mara shouted over the noise. "Where are you?"

The Jedi pushed forward, heart pounding. "Mara? Is something wrong?"

Mara Jade gave a huge grin, and threw her arms around Luke. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"Not lately," Luke muttered, looking over Mara's shoulder at his sister for an explanation.

"She's had a bit too much to drink," Leia said.

Luke backed up from his fiancée, and then noticed the other women. "Why are all of you bruised? And all your clothes are torn up, too."

"Mara challenged General Salms Champion Slingball team to a game," Iella said, taking Wedge's arm.

"You've got to be kidding me," Han said in awe. "Those guys are the best."

Mara's grin got wider. "Not anymore! We beat them, we beat them!" She started dancing around the room. "I've got the credit voucher to prove it!" She shoved the disk in Luke's hand.

"This… this is for over two hundred thousand credits!" Luke gasped.

"It sure is! Now we can pay for our wedding ourselves, and pay the fine to get out of my contract," Mara said. "But we will have to replace Xazzel's recording droid. It sorta had an accident… it ran into my lightsaber."

"I see," Luke said thoughtfully. "So this holo-show thing is done with?"

"Yes!"

"Great," Luke stated. "But if I ever catch the person responsible for sending in your name…" He trailed off, noticing Mara's sudden change of demeanor. "Mara? Do you know who did it?"

"Uh, Luke?" Mara mumbled, looking at the floor. "I had Threepio send in my name."

"What?! Why would you do that?"

Mara grinned sheepishly. "Ever since I was a little girl I've wanted a fancy wedding. All little girls want fancy weddings. And we couldn't really afford it, so I thought, uh, why not? It's only an act, and no one gets hurt, and I'll get my fancy wedding paid for… and…." She stopped rambling. "After all that, do you still want to marry me?"

Luke smiled. "More than ever." He leaned forward and kissed her passionately, and everyone in the room broke into applause.

Just at that moment, the Twi'lek dancing girls came wiggling into the room. Mara drew back from her fiancé, frowning at the intrusion. "Who are they?"

"Uh," Luke mumbled, pointing at Calrissian. "Blame Lando."

"I should have suspected as much," Mara said with a curt nod. "Come on, Jedi Master. It's time you went home. We have a busy day tomorrow."

Mara Jade pulled Luke's arm, and they disappeared out of the door.

"Is that really the end of Darth Jade?" Han asked his wife.

Leia looked up at her husband. Hopefully he would never know how close he came to losing his beloved ship that night. "Yes, I do believe that truly is ..

THE END!