She had been stupid. Very very stupid. She actually thought she could trick production by refusing to flirt with Jim, and thus saving him, them, from having it all on display. What "it all" was, was something she didn't really want to consider. The only thing she knew for sure now, is that it would not be fair for Jim not to know she was an actress.

But of course they knew better. So they hired another actress, one that probably, possibly, definitely had no scruples whatsoever to flirt with a guy and create a whole new storyline for their benefit. God, this Katy person, whatever her real name was, could be probably in bed with him as she was thinking about it.

Would production go this far? Would a hired actress?

Pam knew perfectly well there were a lot of 'colleagues' that could do that and more, just to land themselves an interesting role or even a fee. It was a fact she had not really thought about all these years.

At her side, Brian stirred and she almost startled.

"Hey," he said, sleepily.

"Hey," Pam answered, forcing her brain to shut up and to get back to the present, where Brian's hand was stroking his hips and kissing her shoulder and, really, he was a very nice guy and they had a lot of fun together.

So, she had been stupid. But it was done, and Jim was a big boy, and he should be aware that the decisions he made could have consequences.

Kissing Brian back Pam tried her best to bury the indignation, and for a while she managed to do it.

On Monday, though, as she overheard Kevin making an almost dirty joke at Jim and Katy's expenses, she almost wished she had never signed that contract so she could be back at being a struggling actress, serving coffee, and minding her own goddamn business.

She could quit, of course, but she was positive that would mean the end of her acting career, or maybe just her partnership with Clare. Was it worth it, though? She didn't come up with an answer, but it was clear that taking a distance from Jim had not helped at all

So, if that was the case, maybe the coldness and distancing could end, right? If just for her own entertainment?

Pam had been fearing the beginning of the summer, when the documentary crew would leave and she would go back to being an actress without a stage. But she had a new plan, a new act, perhaps. And she was going to put it in place from day one.

Making extra noise she took the gigantic Jelly Beans bag from her purse and she even knocked over the container, casually on purpose as she filled it.

That day Jim didn't approach her desk, but he did two days later. Not a word, or a wink, just a smile, two Jelly Beans and he was back at his desk. But it was a start and Pam was sure she deserved the cold shoulder. She had behaved like an asshole to be honest.

The day after, he approached her desk again.

"I'd missed those," he said, pointing at the container before taking a couple of Jelly Beans.

"Yeah… uhm, I'm sorry I forgot to fulfil that very first requirement of the job."

Jim looked at her for a moment, and Pam felt as if he was trying very hard to read her thoughts.

"Are you going to forget about it again?"

"Never, I swear," she said, forcing an impish smile and placing a hand over her heart in a would-be solemn manner.

"See that you don't," he said, with a smile on his own.

A week and some interactions later, Pam had to admit there was no guarantee that trying to be his friend again could help avoid him being with Katy… for all that she knew maybe they were already an item… but it was worth a try. She was having fun again, anyway, and that was good.

And maybe, maybe, being his close friend could give her a chance to advise him against dating the purse girl, without really telling him she worked for television.

"Hey, Pam!" just as if summoned by her own thoughts, Katy was there, all smiles and looking amazing.

"Hi, Katy? How are you? Fancy seeing you here again?" yeah… it was nice to have a chance to act petty, although, just like other times before, Pam asked how much of this was really an act.

"Yeah… I've come to have lunch with Jim," she managed to look a little embarrassed and, actor to actor, Pam admired her naturality.

"He's in a meeting with Michael. Why don't you take a seat? I'm sure he'll be out in a minute."

"Sure, thanks."

When Jim came out, he greeted Katy with an enthusiastic grin, helping her stand up from the old couch with his hand and opening the door for her. Only then, he looked back, and for the briefest of seconds, his eyes met Pam's.

The lunch hour came and went, and Pam never managed to figure out what that look had been about.

She had been stalling the entire day, she was well aware of it. Part of her didn't want to face the copy machine with other people waiting in line and tapping her foot. It was silly, but it was one of those things that could ruin her mood. And also, staying late gave her an excuse to leave on her own, back home, no drinks, no dinner, no Brian.

Pam enjoyed his company, and sometimes it felt that he was the only one she could really talk to. Then again, after discussing her becoming an actress and his previous jobs in Scranton, they seemed to have exhausted subjects in common and it became a relief the fact that a lot of their joint activities didn't really involve much talking.

For that she felt bad, but she couldn't say if she was the one being used by him or if it was the other way around.

Pam watched Dwight retreating back after giving a very suspicious glare at her direction, and then, finally alone, she sighed and stretched. Maybe she could stay here for another couple of hours, just because it was quiet and gave her mind a rest.

Slowly, she made her way to the kitchen and fished in the fridge for her last yogurt.

"Hey, what are you still doing here?"

She jumped, her heart pumping. "Jesus, Jim, you gave me a heart attack!"

He was smiling sheepishly at her, leaning on the doorframe. "Sorry. I didn't think anybody would be here this late."

"What are you doing here?"

"I was driving home from a sale's meeting and realised I'd left my wallet here."

"You've been driving without a license this whole day?"

Jim nodded. "I'm not proud."

Pam smiled, and walked past him towards her desk. She was glad they were on speaking terms again, but there was still something lingering between them… was it a bit of coldness from his part? Was it the fact that her secret was too big and heavy and ugly that it spilled over their interactions?

"What are you up to, Beesly?" he followed her, and leaned on her desk, toying with the lid of the Jelly Beans container.

"I have a ton of copies to make and… probably I could make them tomorrow, but I'd rather do it while the office is empty."

He nodded, and walked to his desk. For a moment, nobody spoke, as he collected stuff and moved some files from one pile to another. Pam decided she could as well do what she had been meaning to, and started the copy machine.

"Pam?" his voice made her turn around.

"Yeah?"

"Are you…? Don't get mad, ok, but I just need to ask."

She shifted her weight from one feet to the other, her lips suddenly dry. "Yeah?"

Jim looked at the files on his desk, as if he could see the inspiration he needed there, and then his eyes fixed on hers. "Are things between you and Roy ok?"

An alarm started howling in Pam's brain, making it very difficult to form coherent thoughts and really get into her character. 'Action, action, action!', part of her brain was shouting, but it all was drowning.

"We are," she spoke slowly. "Why do you ask?"

"Well…" Jim sighed. "Do you remember that day he got mad at me…?"

"Yeah. Sorry about that. He thought he saw…" she trailed off.

"Does he, like… yell at you, or beat you… or something?"

"What?" that finally made the alarm stop. "Why would you ask that?"

"Well…" he scratched his neck. "You kinda… went cold after that. Wouldn't speak to me."

"That's not true," she said mechanically, even though she knew he was right.

"Come on…"

She sighed. "Maybe a little."

"So, I've been wanting to ask for weeks, but I didn't want to bother you, or to become a part of the problem, but now… please, tell me if you need help. If he's told you not to speak to me, I kinda get it but… are you ok?"

Her heart warmed at his concern, and she took the few steps that separated her from his desk.

"You are very sweet. But really, there is nothing to worry about." She felt that she needed to elaborate. He was a smart man, after all. "I won't lie to you, he was angry that day. Not at me, mostly at you. So I got angry too, we had a huge fight, and turns out he was afraid of… I don't know… something." She fidgeted with her sleeves and looked at her feet. "So, I decided to focus more on our relationship. Sorry if that made me…" she needed to finish this conversation, and now. "This is a bit awkward," she said, and it worked like a charm.

"Yeah, no, I get it. You're right. I guess… all those news about girls having a hard time because of their boyfriends got me thinking."

She smiled at him. "Don't worry about me, Jim. Really. And I'm sorry."

"Nah, don't be."

They looked at each other for a moment, and Pam realised she had almost forgotten how nice his eyes were.

"So," he said, taking a deep breath. "What if I help you with your copies so you can finish earlier?"

The feared vacations started, and that first day, everybody seemed to be in a daze. Suddenly there was all this space, not being occupied by the filming crew and their equipment. They could come and go without having to look over their shoulders to see if they were being followed or if their conversations were being recorded, and Pam heard Meredith celebrate by taking from the bottom drawer of her desk a bottle of cheap wine and opening it as a mid morning snack, without really bothering to hide it.

She had her own reasons to be distracted. Two days before the end of the filming, she had come early to get some instructions from production. Other than making Roy come up for some flirting, there didn't seem to be something new, which suited her. But she did have stuff to say, and just when she was about to leave, Pam made up her mind.

"Uh, Marissa. Just out of curiosity?"

"Yeah?"

"That girl, Katy, how long will she be part of the cast?"

The producer blinked a couple of times.

"Did she tell you she was an actress."

Pam wanted to self-high-five, if there was such a thing.

"Oh no, she didn't. But it's very obvious, right?"

Marissa chuckled. "I hope the rest of the office didn't notice."

"Well," Pam squared her jaw. "I am not 'office'. I'm 'crew', remember?"

"Yeah, sure, sure."

Pam smiled sweetly. "Maybe next time you all could give me a heads up? You know… so that I'd be ready?"

Marissa nodded and Pam left, feeling proud of herself and at least a little vindicated.

Now that the first Monday without being subject to observation was slowly passing, Pam also considered her own situation. Brian had left the day before for two weeks, on his own vacation trip. They had had a couple of fun days before, and he had asked her if she would join him in New York the next weekend. It would've been nice, being back in the city, watching a show, maybe. Having decent food in a decent restaurant… but she had said no, instinctively, and Brian hadn't seemed too bothered about it.

All of that interaction spoke volumes about what they were doing together. For her, he had been a distraction and a part of her felt it was very wrong, or, at least, very unlike her.

"A penny for your thoughts."

Jim was leaning on her desk, picking green Jelly Beans from the container.

"Uh, they are much more expensive than that," she replied automatically, smiling at him.

"A nickel?"

"A lot more. You can't afford it."

He seemed thoughtful.

"What about, I buy you some chips and you tell me?"

She chuckled. "There is not much to tell, honestly. I was just thinking about how quiet this all seems without those cameras and mics."

"I know, right? We might even get some work done."

"Isn't that scary or what?"

He chuckled and turned around, and seemed to be about to leave, when he faced her again. "So, have you brought lunch? Do you want to grab a sandwich?"

She should've said no. One thing was being friendly, and sandwiches with a friend were possible, of course, but Pam knew something was changing. Or perhaps it had been changing for a while, only now she was growing much more aware of it.

"Katy's not coming for lunch today, then?" she asked, regretting her words the moment she uttered them.

"I don't think so. I haven't spoken to her in awhile." Well that was strange. Wasn't Katy being paid to be there?

"Oh. Ok, then."

"Noon?"

"Noon."

The moment they sat, Pam started her brand new role of gossipy co-worker.

"So, what's the deal with Katy anyway? I thought you two were dating?"

Jim shrugged and scratched his neck. "We've been out a couple of times but… I don't know. She's nice and funny, and seems to like spending time with me…"

I bet, Pam thought, but she didn't say a thing.

"... but I don't know. Maybe I'll call her on the weekend."

Pam smiled at his lack of enthusiasm and dropped the subject. It was at least a little bit satisfactory the way Jim hadn't fallen into the network's plan.

"This is kinda difficult to say," Pam started, looking at Brian over her hamburger and fries.

"Shoot," Brian said, with a half-smile. He had just arrived the night before and they had agreed to meet over lunch. Pam had to admit it was nice to see him, smiling and tan, and for a moment she considered not to say anything. But she couldn't do it. After two weeks apart and the piece and quiet that the absence of cameras had brought, her mind was set.

"I don't… we've had a lot of fun, Brian, but I don't think I can keep on doing this."

He considered for a moment, chewing a fry.

"This being… going out? Hiding? Sex?"

"Well, all of it, really." Pam took a sip from her glass of coke. "I don't think… I know you just want to have a good time, and I thought I wanted that too, but really I think I'm not that kind of girl."

"Oh, I see," he nodded, with a little knowing smile. "You want to be in a relationship."

Pam shrugged. "I don't know what I want… but I don't want to keep on doing this, Brian. I am sorry."

He nodded. "I get it. I thought it would come to this, sooner or later."

It was weird to see him dismissing the whole deal so nonchalantly, when she had spent most of the previous night lying in bed, awake, thinking about what to say and how to say it.

"Why?"

"Well…" Brian chuckled, and grabbed another fry. "At first I thought that you agreed to go out with me to fish some information from production. Because, you know… they'd been keeping some stuff from you. But you didn't. You've never asked me a single thing about the show. And then I realised it… I've been a distraction to you, too, but not just a general distraction."

Pam felt hot out of a sudden.

"What do you…?" His eyes, suddenly looking stern, made her stop in her tracks.

"I watch you all, Pam, every day, in you every interaction. Everything you say, every glance, every movement. And then, sometimes, I rewatch the footage, too, when they are editing. It's obvious you have feelings for him."

"Are we talking about-?"

"We're NOT talking about Roy," Brian said with a chuckle.

Pam looked at her half-eaten burger, without appetite.

"Well, there's nothing I can do about it, without giving production a field day… and lying to him."

"I know, Pam."

His voice made her look up. Brian looked as if he genuinely cared.

"You're a great guy," she said.

He just shrugged.

"It's been fun," he said. "And you're great, too. Man, I do not wish to be in your shoes."

"Yeah…"

"Do you want a piece of unsolicited advice?"

Pam smiled. "Go ahead."

"Talk to Jim."