Hello there everyone! I hope you all are doing well, and having a nice week so far!
I don't have much to say, aside from I hope you all like this next chapter, and I'm eager to hear your thoughts. Thank you so much for reading, everyone! I'll see you all next time!
NINETY THREE
Casey stood at the counter in the common room, the man sipping on his first cup of coffee while his friends and coworkers were dispersed throughout the room, everyone preparing for the shift ahead in their own way while also catching up since they'd last seen each other. It was a pretty easy morning so far, 51 having gotten maybe half an hour into the day without being called out, which sometimes felt like nothing short of a miracle as it was no secret how busy their house could be.
And today was certainly one of those times, where the slow pace felt like a godsend, at least to Casey it did as his mind certainly wasn't one hundred percent focused on the job right now. And there was no way it could be, given what all was going on.
It hadn't even been two days since Antonio brought up Walker wanting to see Gabby, but in that time Matt had definitely gone through his fairshare of emotions about the whole thing. Granted, those were thoughts and feelings he was trying his best to not vocalize to Gabby, at least not yet, as his only focus right now was supporting her while she struggled with this decision she had to make. But thankfully, Walker's request hadn't affected her nearly as much as it maybe would've just weeks ago, as Gabby was handling this entire thing better than anyone expected. And that was no more evident than the times they'd spoken about it.
It had come up a few times since Antonio first told them what was going on, Gabby often the one to initiate it as she'd come to him, wanting to talk through her different reasons for why she felt like she should go, as well as detailing the reasons she thought she shouldn't. And when she wanted to talk, he was right there, Matt always ready to listen whenever she needed him.
But everytime they talked about it, they always ended up in the same place; that she was fine, but she wasn't sure what she was going to do. That she needed to think about it before she made her decision. Which, truthfully, is exactly why he was so worried in the first place.
Because her needing to think about it meant there was a chance she'd decide to go see him. And Matt could hardly stand the thought of that.
It wasn't that he didn't trust her judgement, because he did. But the little voice in the back of his mind kept telling him that it felt like too much for her right now. Especially with that call last shift, and everything that came with it, he knew it was a lot for her. Even though she was okay, it still affected her, and he couldn't help but feel like this would just make all of it worse. That despite her improvements, it was too much too soon, which is why he was slightly terrified of the idea of her going to see him.
But when it came down to it, he knew it wasn't his decision to make. He could give his input, and be there to help her make her decision, but it wasn't his choice, and he knew he had to respect that. No matter how much he wanted to make sure Walker never got close to her again, if she wanted to go, he wouldn't stop her.
As long as he knew for sure she was doing this for her, and no one else.
Drawing in a deep breath, Matt did what he could to push those thoughts aside, at least for now, as he needed to at least try and focus on work, the man grabbing his coffee cup and heading towards the table to join his girl and his friends.
"So she wouldn't talk to him at all?" Severide said just as Matt got closer, the truck Lieutenant sitting down next to Gabby as it became clear he was coming in during the middle of their conversation, Dawson nodding slowly as she glanced towards her boyfriend. And, even without context, Casey had a good idea of what they were talking about.
"Yeah, Antonio went over to her house yesterday, but Lydia wouldn't talk to him." She breathed out, an edge of frustration in her tone as Kelly nodded sadly, Matt looking between the two while setting his newspaper down in front of him. "Matt and I went to see him, to see if he could reach out and try to help her, but she wouldn't talk."
"Was her husband there?" Severide pressed, Gabby shaking her head.
"No, he wasn't… Maybe he was coming home soon, and that's why she sent Antonio away, I don't know. But from the looks of it, she didn't want his help." She told him, Kelly releasing a soft sigh before he nodded.
"I'm sorry, Dawson." He replied, Gabby waving him off before leaning back in her seat.
"I'm fine, it's not me I'm worried about…"
"She probably just needs time." Kelly reminded her, Dawson biting down on the inside of her cheek as she thought over his words before she nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, you're right." She huffed out, tapping her hand against the armrest on her chair. "And I know that's what everyone else keeps telling me. Hopefully once she has some time to think about it, now that Antonio's gone to see her, she'll feel ready to get help."
"Yeah, hopefully she will." Matt echoed, his voice bringing a soft smile to her face as she glanced back towards him, Casey following up his words with an affirming nod. "You've done all you can do for her right now, babe… You know that better than anyone. The rest is up to her." He added on gently, Gabby drawing in a deep breath before she nodded back at him.
But she didn't get the chance to respond as the bells rang out above them, the entire house hearing 61 get called out to a person needing assistance, both men knowing their conversation was about to get cut short as Dawson had to go and do her job.
"Be safe out there." Matt told her, just as he always did, while she got up from her seat and began to head out of the room.
"I will." She replied, Casey watching her until her and Shay were out of sight, before he turned back around in his chair, Severide having already busied himself with something on his phone while Matt took to reading over the newspaper, the truck Lieutenant desperate to find anything to keep his mind off a Gabby, and the choice she had to make that was looming over them.
Dawson released a heavy sigh as she stepped down out of the rig, the paramedic rolling out her neck as she pushed her door shut, the instant chill in the air sending a shiver down her spine as she hadn't quite warmed up after working out in the brutal Chicago weather. But she knew getting inside and getting another cup of coffee would definitely help with that, as Shay began to get down from the rig as well.
"You really think those frequent flyer calls would end up going faster than they do." The blonde spoke as she started walking around the front of the rig, Gabby nodding in agreement before shoving her hands into the pockets of her coat. Their call had been easy enough, as their usual patient was just needing a few more supplies, and some warmth for a bit. But it had kept them away from the house for a good part of the morning, the paramedics glad to now be back in the comfort of their own firehouse as snow was beginning to fall around the city.
"Yeah, they usually end up taking the most time… But at least Benny seemed to be doing alright when we left," She responded, speaking of their frequent patient as Shay gave her a nod back. "It would've been nice to not have been out all morning, though." She added on as the two friends stood in front of the ambulance, the PIC's eyes focused out on the driveway while Shay looked around at the other rigs still inside the garage.
"Yeah, it looks like the guys haven't been called out yet… Lucky them." She spoke with a scoff, Gabby smiling softly before Shay took a step backwards. "I'm definitely ready to go join them, though, it's too damn cold out here." Shay huffed out, her breath able to be seen in the freezing air.
"Me too." Gabby matched her tone before they began to head towards the firehouse.
But Dawson only got a few steps when movement from down the driveway caught her eye, her steps slowing almost instantly as she turned to watch someone make their way towards their firehouse, their dark clothes impossible to miss surrounded by all the white snow.
They were moving quickly, from what she could tell, but it wasn't until they got a little closer that she was able to make out who was coming towards them. And the second she saw who it was, her chest began to tighten, Gabby taking a few steps closer as the woman hurried over the slick ground, her pace frantic like she was trying to get away from someone.
"Isn't that-"
"Lydia…" Gabby breathed out, her words cutting Shay off. Dawson didn't realize her partner had noticed her, too, but right now she wasn't focused so much on that as Lydia came closer to them, her steps not slowing down until she got to the garage.
"Lydia, hey, what's-"
Gabby's voice got caught in her throat when the woman looked up from the ground, the paramedic's heart nearly breaking in her chest when she saw the state Lydia was in, as it was exactly what she'd been afraid of.
Lydia had been hurt. Badly hurt.
And there was no doubt in Gabby's mind who had done it.
Her left eye was completely bruised and swollen, the deep purple and nearly black marks hard to stomach as it was clear she'd gotten hit by something- by someone. Then just below that on her cheek was an angry cut, one that seemed to have been bleeding recently as it was clearly a new injury, those marks combined with many others that Gabby hadn't seen the last time they were together.
There were new cuts littering her skin, surrounding the few that had already been there since before the accident, her lip busted and slightly swollen, Gabby's eyes moving up and down her form as she was trying to take in what she was seeing. But it was a hard sight to witness, as standing in front of her was a woman that had clearly just been beaten.
And if Dawson had to guess, it had happened more than once since the last time they saw each other.
"...Lydia." She spoke softly, seeing the tears welling the woman's eyes while Gabby gently reached her out towards her, as not only did she not want to scare her, but she also wasn't sure what other injuries were hiding beneath her thick clothes.
"I… I need help." She choked out, the pain and desperation in her voice bringing tears to Gabby's eyes as well before she nodded firmly.
"Shay, go get Matt." Dawson spoke quickly, the blonde not wasting any time in following Gabby's orders as she all but ran through the garage towards the double doors, leaving the two women outside alone, their gazes focused on each other as the paramedic saw every ounce of pain she was feeling.
"I need help." She repeated again, almost like she'd forgotten she'd said it as her eyes began to dart around anxiously. "I need- I need help, I…" She kept repeating herself, Gabby swallowing back the emotion in her throat as she took another cautious step towards her.
"I know, and we're gonna get you help." She told her, her words causing Lydia's gaze to snap back into focus as her teary eyes locked on Dawson. "I promise, we're gonna get you help, you're okay now… Everything will be okay, I'm gonna help you." Gabby continued on, hoping she was able to provide the woman with just a little bit of comfort. Though from her own experience, she knew it wasn't that simple. "Let's get you inside, and we can talk about it, alright? Everything's okay."
Gabby heard footsteps approaching as she finished speaking, her head turning back to see Matt jogging towards her while Shay and most of the other members of 51, including Boden, followed behind them, Dawson not missing the look of complete devastation on her boyfriend's face as he got closer to them.
But neither of them could say a word before they heard the loud, harsh sound of tires screeching, every single person in the garage turning to look as they watched a car whip into their driveway, Lydia tensing up immediately before the vehicle even came to a stop.
"...He- he followed me here." She barely got out, Casey's entire body tightening as soon as he heard her words, the man taking a protective step forward, like he was trying to shield Gabby, just as the door opened and Lydia's husband stepped out of the car. "...He'll kill me. He's gonna kill me."
Her unsteady voice was hard to hear, but Gabby and Matt both were able to make out what she'd said, the first responders knowing in their gut they had to do anything and everything within their power to protect this woman.
But for Matt, it was different, as he knew not only needed to protect Lydia, but Gabby, too, as he refused to let this man anywhere near her.
"Lydia!" Tyler called as he slammed his door shut, the sound causing the woman to startle before Dawson immediately reached out for her and pulled her further into the garage. "Lydia, sweetheart, quit bothering these people and let's just go home…"
"Casey, do you want me to call the cops?" Severide asked from behind them, but Matt never gave him an answer as his eyes were focused firmly on the man maybe twenty feet in front of them, and getting closer by the second, as Tyler looked over all the firefighters blocking him from his wife.
"Sweetie, come on, let's get out of here. We don't need to do all this." He continued on, Matt's neck tightening as he could feel his girlfriend behind him.
"Gabby, go inside." Casey spoke softly, but loud enough for her to hear him while he never looked away from Tyler.
"Matt…"
"Go inside, please." He all but begged her, while keeping his voice as steady as he could, as it wasn't lost on him how the abusive man kept getting closer and closer to them, his protective instincts taking over. "Take Lydia and go inside."
Hearing the tone in his voice, Gabby didn't put up much more of a fight, the woman running her hand gently over his back before she reached out towards Lydia and began guiding her back away from the driveway. And with every step they took, it was like Gabby could feel her beginning to calm down, as more and more space was put between them.
But that only lasted for so long, until Tyler's loud voice boomed through the garage.
"Where are you taking her?" He shouted, picking up his pace towards the group of first responders.
"Gabby, go!" Matt told her again, as he knew she wasn't safely inside yet. "Shay, Jenkins, you too, go inside. Now." He added on, as he didn't want his friend or his firefighter anywhere near this man, either, Casey unsure of the lengths he'd go to get to his wife. But considering how angry he looked right now, Matt knew he wouldn't back down without a fight.
"Lydia, come back here!"
"Sir, you need to leave." Boden spoke up first, his rough tone filling the air as he came to stand between Tyler and his men, Casey doing what he could to keep his composure as he couldn't help but think that maybe it was a good thing that the Chief was between him and this man.
"What?"
"You need to go… Now." The Chief repeated, his eyes narrowed tightly towards him as all the other firefighters gathered around Boden, the movement only causing Tyler to become more agitated.
"I'm not going anywhere until my wife comes out of that building." He replied harshly, his eyes holding onto so much anger and rage that Matt couldn't help but feel grateful that Gabby was no longer out here.
"Your wife came here on her own, which means she is not going anywhere until she's ready to leave… So I suggest you get out of here, before I call the cops." Boden warned, Tyler scoffing before he shook his head.
"You can't keep my wife from me. Now move out of the way man, before I make you." He challenged, there now less than a foot of space between Tyler and Boden as neither one of them was willing to back down.
"I don't think this is a fight you want to have, man." He repeated aggressively, Boden standing up a little straighter as he looked down at Tyler. "Cause I can guarantee you, it'll be a lot harder to take on us than it was your wife." He added on pointedly, Tyler's guard faltering slightly before his eyes began to harden.
"You don't know what you're talking about." He spat, Boden taking a slight step forward before he spoke up.
"Oh, I think all of us know exactly what's going on here… Your wife came here, looking for help, and to get away from you. So you are not going anywhere near her."
"I didn't do anything to her-"
"You fucking beat her!" Casey snapped, the Lieutenant taking a few frantic steps forward as he couldn't listen to this smug man go on any longer, his every word angering Matt further.
"Bullshit-"
"You're an abusive piece of shit who beats his wife." He fought back, Tyler's aggression now focused on the younger firefighter as Matt took a step ahead of Boden.
"Lieutenant-" Boden tried, but it was like Casey didn't even hear him.
"You think you're some tough guy, because you're able to hurt the person who loves you and trusts you. But that makes you nothing more than a coward." He continued on, each word making Tyler more and more combative as Matt stood his ground. "Now if I were you, I would get the fuck out of here while you still can… Or you're gonna find out what it's like when you pick a fight with somebody who hits back."
His voice was low, the first responders around him unsure of the last time they'd heard Casey quite this angry. But everyone standing there knew just how serious he was, as it became clear that if a fight is what Tyler wanted, Casey would give it to him.
But reason must've eventually won out with the man across from them, as despite the way he was so obviously seething, he turned around and began to walk away from them, Tyler stomping off towards his car as his body was flooded with rage.
"You tell that fucking bitch I'll be back." He bellowed before pulling his driver's side door open, every person standing there shooting daggers at the man before he pulled out of the driveway and left the firehouse.
But even once he was long gone, Matt still wasn't able to completely calm down, at least not yet as his chest was heaving while he breathed heavily, anger still consuming him as every firefighter around him noticed the way his fists were clenched by his sides. Which, given how much personal experience their truck Lieutenant had in situations like this, they weren't entirely surprised to see how he'd reacted to the man who was responsible for causing so much pain.
Especially after they'd all seen the way he was with Walker.
"Casey…" Severide was the first to speak up, the sound of his name snapping him from his thoughts, before he slowly shook his head.
"I'm fine." He responded to Kelly's silent question as he turned around, Matt not saying another word as he began to walk away from the group, Severide and Boden sharing a knowing look before they followed after him, as they both knew exactly where Casey was headed.
"Do you need anything else?" Gabby asked as she sat down at the table beside the timid woman, placing the fresh cup of coffee in front of her just as Lydia shook her head.
"No… I'm fine, thank you." She replied quietly, those being some of the first words out of her mouth since Dawson brought her into the seclusion of the conference room, the two women the only ones in here as Shay and Jenkins both knew to keep their distance right now. That Lydia didn't need an audience for whatever conversations they were about to have.
"Alright." Dawson replied, the hurt woman nodding before she reached for her cup, Gabby watching as she slowly picked it up and took a sip.
But with every move she made, it was impossible to miss how much pain she was in, Gabby soon coming to realize her original thought of there being more injuries than she could see was most likely true, as from her hesitant movements Dawson had a feeling her ribs had been injured, if not something more.
"I, um…" She started after maybe a minute of silence, the sound of her voice gaining Gabby's attention as they locked eyes, even though Lydia was having a hard time seeing out of one of them. "Thank you… for helping me out there, and keeping him away from me." She spoke, her words soft as she was trying to make sense of the thoughts flooding her head, Dawson merely nodding before reaching out to gently hold on to her arm. "I'm sorry for just showing up at your work, but you told me what firehouse you worked at, and I just… I didn't know where else to go. But I didn't mean for him to follow me here, I- I'm sorry, I…"
"Lydia, it's not your fault." Gabby finally interjected, Lydia seeing tears sitting in the paramedic's eyes as she spoke. "None of this is your fault, okay?" She added one, her statement holding a deeper meaning as Lydia swallowed thickly, before she slowly nodded. "And you don't need to apologize for coming here, I'm glad you did… It's not your fault that he followed you, but those guys out there, they won't let him anywhere near you. I promise you that." She assured her, seeing Lydia slowly start to relax a bit more as Dawson continued. "I told you I'd help you, and I meant it… You can't control what he does, but we're gonna get you away from him. I swear we'll get you help."
Gabby saw tears start to well up in her eyes before she ducked her head down, Lydia beginning to tap the edge of her coffee cup while her leg began to bounce up and down, the paramedic recognizing those nervous habits as she could tell the broken woman was doing what she could to keep herself together.
"I should've… I should've listened to you." She finally spoke, her voice getting caught in her throat as a lone tear escaped down her cheek, Gabby's jaw tightening as she felt her own emotions trying to take over. "I should've let you help me when you tried at the hospital, because I-" She stopped herself, shaking her head slightly as more tears started to fall.
"Hey, hey it's okay." Gabby did what she could to comfort her, Dawson angling her body towards her as she sat on the edge of her seat.
"I just… I should've come to you sooner. Or listened to that cop who came to my house… He said you asked him to come." She continued on, Gabby nodding sadly as she patted her arm.
"I did… That's my brother, Antonio." She explained, the look of realization that washed over Lydia's face telling the first responder that she hadn't known that before. "I went to him, because I know he can help in situations like these, and I wanted to see if he could help you." She told her, Lydia drawing in a slow, somewhat painful breath before shaking her head.
"...I sent him away." She murmured, missing the sad look that crossed over Dawson's features.
"I know, but it's okay… You weren't ready."
"But I should've been, or this never would've happened." She barely got the words out, her hand coming up towards her face as Gabby knew she was referring to the apparent beating she'd taken recently.
"Lydia…"
Dawson wasn't able to finish her thought as the door slowly opened, both women looking to see Casey standing there, the man hesitantly walking into the room, before he was followed by Boden and Severide, the latter shutting the door behind them as they all slowly moved further into the conference room.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but we just wanted to let you know that he's gone." Boden spoke, Lydia taking another shallow breath of relief before she nodded, Gabby and Matt's eyes locking on one another before her boyfriend gave her a reassuring nod. "...I know you and I haven't met yet, but I did hear about the call the other day… I'm Chief Boden, this is my firehouse. And I just want to let you know that you're safe here." He told her, his low voice oddly comforting as Lydia gave him another nod, unable to stop the fresh tears forming in her eyes. "And whatever you want to do, we're here to help."
"Thank you." She all but whispered, Boden giving her a sad smile before he took a slight step back, as the last thing he wanted to do was overcrowd her. "I… I appreciate it, thank you for helping me… All of you. But I don't- I don't know what to do." She began to ramble out, Gabby's eyebrows furrowing slightly.
"I can call my brother, and we can get you down to the police station. And he can help you."
"But Tyler, he'll- He'll find a way to get to me, it doesn't matter what anyone does." She spoke quickly, Gabby seeing the wheels starting to turn in her head as it was clear Lydia was starting to second guess her decision, and worry that she might've just made this worse. Which was a feeling Gabby unfortunately understood well. "I… He's gonna hurt me again, he'll kill me."
"Lydia, we won't let that happen. We won't let him anywhere near you." Dawson reassured her, the three men in the room watching on sadly as Gabby held onto her arm. "I promise you, we'll keep you safe. Antonio and his team will keep you safe. I know how scary this is, but everyone here wants-"
"You don't know." Lydia interjected, tears welling in her eye as she turned towards Gabby, her voice causing the paramedic to stop abruptly mid-sentence. "You don't know how scary this is." She continued on, Dawson's chest beginning to tighten as Lydia shook her head. "I know you want to help me, but you don't know what this is like. What it feels like to be afraid of someone who claims to love you. To live with the person who hurts you every day, you can't possibly understand what that's like."
Dawson's face faltered while she spoke, all three men in the room watching her with pained looks on their faces as they knew just how wrong Lydia's words were. Matt especially, he couldn't keep his focus off her as she took a deep breath, the man unsure of how she'd responded in this situation as Lydia's words hung heavy in the air.
"Until you've lived it, you don't understand." The woman continued on, shaking her head roughly once more as Gabby began to gnaw on her bottom lip, a million thoughts racing through her head while she tried to figure out what to say.
But she knew there was only one thing she could say, and that was the truth.
"I… I do understand." She replied quietly, those few words causing Lydia to look up, her eyebrows furrowed deeply before a look of shock appeared over her features, the woman clearly unsure of what to make of what she was saying.
But after a few moments, it began to settle in, Lydia opening her mouth slowly like she was going to say something, before it closed quickly, her face softening as an understanding look soon covered her face. But no words ever came out, Gabby nodding slowly before she spoke up once more.
"I know what it's like to have someone you love hurt you like that." She continued on, Lydia staying quiet as Dawson breathed in deeply, knowing that in order to get this woman to completely trust her, she owed her an explanation. "...It was my ex-fiance." Dawson admitted, missing the sorrowful look shining Matt's eyes as Lydia kept her focus on her. "He… He was like Tyler, so believe me when I tell you that I know what this is like, because I was in the same position you are."
Things went quiet for a moment, Gabby trying her best to ignore the stares she could feel on her from the men across the room, while her attention was completely on Lydia. But she hadn't said a word, Lydia needing a moment to process what she had just been told, as finding out Gabby had gone through something similar was the last thing she was expecting when she came here.
But that shock was starting to wear off, Lydia looking back towards her before saying the first thing that came to her mind.
"...How'd you get out?"
Dawson pursed her lips together at the question, the paramedic giving herself a moment to think over what to say as she wanted to be as honest as she could. "I… I had a lot of help. Even when I didn't want it." She told her truthfully, Lydia's eyes falling back down as Gabby ran her tongue along the roof of her mouth. "Even when I wasn't ready for it, and it took me a long time to reach out and let those people help me." She explained to her, Gabby drawing in a deep breath before continuing on.
"Bryan, my ex, he abused me for a long time when we were together… He's the one who broke things off, but even after we were over, it still didn't stop." She said, Gabby able to feel the way Lydia's nerves started to rise once more. "But that, it wasn't like this… I didn't ask for help then, no one even knew what had been happening in our relationship, because I was afraid to tell anyone." She breathed out, her head shaking side to side slightly.
"I was afraid of what people would think of me, for staying in a relationship like that. But more than that, I was scared of Bryan and what he'd do to me if anyone found out. I was terrified he'd hurt me, so I didn't tell anyone for the longest time. Even after I'd tried to move on with my life, I didn't tell anyone… It took something really bad happening to me to finally let someone in, and tell them what had been going on." She admitted, her eyes instinctively moving towards Matt, only to find a sad, yet supportive look in his eye before he nodded, everyone in the room seeing the interaction between the two of them before Gabby continued.
"And after I told someone, and then went to the police… it was hard, to talk about and relive, especially when I spent so long hiding it. But I did it because I knew I had to. But none of it was easy for me, especially because even after I went to get help, my ex still tried to make my life hell. And he did… for a while, he did." She spoke, Gabby knowing she had to be as honest as she could, even though she could see the obvious hesitation in Lydia's gaze. "But he's in prison now, and he can't hurt me anymore… And now, I'm doing a lot better. Because I got the help I needed." Gabby told her with a small smile. "It's taken me a long time to get to a place like this, where I'm accepting what's happened to me. It hasn't been easy, and some days are still hard for me to deal with, but I'm getting there. And I've had to have a lot of help along the way- from my family, and friends, and I'm in therapy now… but I'm getting past it. And I know you can, too."
She watched as another tear slid down Lydia's bruised face, Gabby giving her a sad smile before she nodded once more.
"I know it's really hard, okay? And it won't get any easier for a while, but you've already taken that first step… The step I avoided for so long, and that's asking for help. That's one of the hardest parts in all of this, but you've done it, and I know with some support you'll be able to get through the rest of it, too."
"But I don't have anyone to help me." She barely got out as soon as Gabby finished, a few more tears beginning to fill Dawson's eyes as Lydia shook her head sadly. "I pushed everyone away because of him, my family, my friends- I… I don't have anyone left." She cried out, Gabby leaning forward slightly as Matt watched on at the scene in front of him with a watery gaze.
"I don't think that's true, Lydia." Gabby spoke softly, her words causing the woman to look back towards her. "Because for a long time, I felt the same way… When I was with him, it felt like that. Like I couldn't go to anyone, because I pushed them all away. And then even after, I felt like I couldn't talk to people about it, because I didn't want to burden them with it. I didn't want to hurt them, or have them feel guilty for what had been going on."
Casey's eyes fell closed as she spoke, the man fighting to keep his composure as his mind went back to that time in their lives, when Gabby had been going through so much but never told anyone. And the thought of reliving that nearly broke his heart, as he knew how much pain she'd been in that entire time. How much pain she was in before they even met, Matt hating to think of all she'd gone through, and all the times he hadn't been able to help her.
"All my friends, my family- I pushed them all away and kept them at arm's length, because I was scared of what Bryan would do to me if anyone found out. And I didn't want to face what I was going through." Gabby continued honestly, her voice steady as the entire room had their eyes on her, her words hard for the three firefighters to listen to. "So I never told anyone… Even though everyone could see I wasn't okay. But eventually, I was able to let them in… When I was ready, they were all there for me. And I bet your family and friends will be, too. But no matter what, I'm here to help you, okay? You've got me, and I know you can get through this."
Lydia's teary gaze met hers, Gabby nodding slowly with a small smile on her face.
"But I still think you should call your family, and let them know what's going on… Because a lot of times, those people you push away, they're still there waiting until you're ready to let them back in."
Drawing in a slow breath, Lydia gave her a nod, Gabby rubbing her hand along her arm as the woman spoke up.
"Okay." She said quietly, Dawson matching her look before she nodded. "I'll call them, here soon I'll call them."
"Alright… That's good, Lydia. That's really good, I'm so proud of you." Gabby encouraged her before gently bringing her in for a hug, the woman reciprocating the gesture as much as she could as she learned into her embrace, Casey continuing to watch on sadly until they pulled apart.
"What, uh… what do I do now?" Lydia asked after a moment as she finally looked around to the rest of them, her uncertainty evident as they could all tell she was nervous. "Tyler, he… I don't know what to do."
"Let me call my brother." Gabby replied, Lydia starting to gnaw on her bottom lip before she nodded. "I'll call him, and we can get you some help, alright? He helped me, he'll know what to do."
"Okay… Thank you, Gabby." She responded, Lydia blinking quickly as Gabby gave her an assuring nod.
"We can go to my office and call him there… Where it's a little more private." Boden spoke up as he walked towards the table, Gabby and Lydia both turning to look at him. But when they did, Gabby couldn't help but notice what appeared to be a look of admiration in his eyes; a look directed towards her.
"Thanks Chief." Gabby responded softly, Boden giving her a nod before the two women started to stand up. "And while we're waiting for him, I can get some of those cuts cleaned up for you." She added on gently, Lydia pausing for a moment before she nodded, Boden heading out of the room first before Lydia and Dawson went in that direction.
But as she moved, Gabby couldn't help but glance over towards Casey, finding that same sad, worried look still shining in his eyes as he stood next to Severide. Like he needed the assurance that she was okay, Dawson nodding slowly before giving him a small smile.
"I love you." Gabby whispered, Lydia hearing her words as she glanced back to find Dawson and Casey watching each other.
"I love you, too." Matt answered, mimicking her expression just before she disappeared through the doors, Lydia and Dawson heading towards Boden's office while Casey stayed back in the conference room with Severide, the squad Lieutenant also aware of Matt's rigid demeanor.
Though it wasn't too surprising to him, as Kelly knew first hand how hard it was for Matt to think about Walker and what all he did to Dawson, their conversation from just the other day still fresh in his mind.
"...You okay, man?" Severide eventually asked him, after a minute or two of nothing but quiet, Matt lifting his head up to glance back at him before he nodded.
"Yeah, I'm good… I just want all this to be over." He breathed out, a knowing look crossing Kelly's face before he nodded. "I want Lydia to not have to deal with this anymore, and Gabby…" He trailed off, Casey wincing slightly as Severide kept a close eye on him.
"She's seemed to handle all of this okay… talking about him, and everything." Severide spoke vaguely, though he didn't need to be more specific as Casey knew exactly what he meant. "I mean, it's not easy to hear… Especially looking back on how things used to be, when he was hurting her and we didn't know. But I thought she did okay just then."
"She did, yeah… She's been handling that well lately, whenever he comes up. And I'm proud of her for it." He said without a thought, Casey glancing out towards the hallway in the same direction she'd just gone before he continued. "She never would've been able to do that before… She said herself, she used to just push it down and push people away, and I'd never blame her for that, but now she's able to talk about him and what happened. And I'm just so proud of her, for how far she's come."
"I know you are." Kelly responded with a soft smile, but it was one that began to fall when he noticed the look on Casey's face.
"But no matter how far she's come, I just… I wish she didn't have to keep dealing with this." He said, Severide's eyebrows raising slightly as Matt met his gaze. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad we're able to help Lydia, and I know Gabby's past is a big part of why we can help her, but I still hate that this keeps coming up… That she can't just move on from that part of her life, without it constantly being brought up over and over again." He spoke, frustration apparent in his voice as Kelly gave him a sympathetic nod. "And it hasn't been that long, I understand that, but it just feels like this is constantly following her around, whether it's this call, or the thing with Bryan, and I just… I wish it would stop."
Through all his ranting, a few words stuck out to him, Kelly's head tilting to the side slightly before he spoke up. "What thing with Bryan?" He asked, knowing they could go back to the rest of their conversation in a moment, as Matt's eyes fell closed. "What's going on?"
Pursing his lips together, Matt breathed in deeply as his weight fell back against the wall, the firefighter crossing his arms over his chest before he replied. "He wants to see her." He said softly, a few mixed emotions playing out over Severide's face before he landed on one; complete and utter shock. "Yeah, Bryan wants to see her. He asked to see her, like last time… I don't know why, neither does Gabby, but that's what Antonio was wanting to talk to her about… Bryan wants to talk to her."
"...Shit, man."
"Yeah." He responded shortly, shaking his head as his eyes focused forward.
"I can't believe he actually bothered asking, after everything that happened…"
"Yeah, well I guess he's still the same Bryan he used to be." Casey replied with a scoff. "Gabby told him to his face that she hated him, and he still thinks he can ask to see her."
Kelly drew in a slow breath before nodding slowly, his eyes focused on Casey while the man was clearly deep in thought, Severide hesitating for a moment before asking the question on the tip of his tongue.
"...Is she gonna go?" He asked quietly, Matt giving him a defeated shrug before a heavy sigh left his lips, his body language enough of an answer before Casey spoke up.
"I don't know."
Dawson sat against one of the desks outside Boden's office, her arms crossed over her chest as she looked in through the windows, watching as Lydia spoke with her brother. Antonio had been here for a while, maybe half an hour or so, and after filling him in on what had happened today, she and Boden had stepped out of the room, wanting to give Lydia privacy while she spoke with the older Dawson.
But while Boden had gone to make himself busy around the house, Gabby hadn't strayed too far, as she wanted to be close by in case Lydia needed anything.
"Hey."
Gabby looked up when she heard the familiar voice, a soft smile forming over her face as Matt came around the desk to stand next to her, his eyes meeting hers before he glanced back towards the office.
"Hi." Gabby repeated, sliding her body over to give him room to sit down beside her, which he soon did as he rested against the edge of the desk, his arm brushing lightly against hers.
"How is she doing?" He asked first, his words earning a small smile from her before she leaned her arm against his lightly, the action causing him to look her way.
"She's alright, considering." Dawson answered, Matt nodding in response. "It's gonna be a long road for her, but I think she'll be okay… And she called her mom, while we were waiting for Antonio. She's on her way here now."
"Good, that's good." He murmured, the two locking eyes for a moment before she spoke up.
"Yeah, I think so. Having some family around will help her… I know it always did with me." She told him, her quiet words just loud enough for him to hear as a weak smile formed over his face, before he leaned forward to press a soft kiss against her forehead.
When he pulled back, Gabby gently reached out towards him, the woman hugging her arms around one of his before resting her head on his shoulder, the gesture making him smile as he felt her body relax into his. The two stayed quiet for a few more minutes, both of them watching Lydia and Antonio until Gabby finally broke their silence.
"...Can we talk for a minute?" She asked him, Matt's eyebrows furrowing despite the fact that she couldn't see him, Gabby making no effort to lift her head up from his shoulder as he slowly nodded.
"Yeah, of course." He replied, Matt feeling her nod against him before she spoke up.
"I know we've been talking about this Bryan thing, and I said I wasn't sure what I was gonna do… But I've been thinking about it, and with everything today- talking through all of it and what he did, when I was talking to Lydia about it, it felt… I don't know how to explain it." She breathed out, Matt able to sense that she was a little confused by whatever was going on in her own head. But he stayed quiet regardless, to give her time to figure out how to voice whatever it was.
"As I was talking to her, it felt like there was still a part of me that's holding onto all of this… Not just what he did, but- why he did it, I guess." She told him, Matt reaching up to hold onto her hand that was wrapped around his arm as a source of comfort. "But all of that today, and everything I talked about with Adrian, and what you and I have talked about.. it's made me realize that I want to go see him."
Casey's jaw tightened, but he didn't say a word as he felt her hold onto him a little tighter, like she was unsure of what his reaction would be.
"And I know what you're probably thinking, and that you don't want me to do this, but I… For myself, I feel like I need to go and talk to him. To get closure, and maybe some answers… And to finally put all this behind me." She murmured, Matt pausing for a moment before he slowly nodded, the man not sure of what to say. "But I promise, I'm only doing this for me, it has nothing to do with what he wants… But I think I need to go there."
"...Okay." He replied after a moment, Gabby breathing in deeply before she lifted her head, Matt glancing towards her as she rested her chin on his shoulder.
"Yeah?" She pushed, Matt hesitating for a second before he nodded.
"It's not the choice I would've made, and I don't really like the idea of you being near him again… But you know I love you, and I support you no matter what. As long as you're sure this is what you want to do."
"I think I am." She replied, Casey pursing his lips together as he ran his hand over hers once more. "I know it won't be easy, but I need to do this." She repeated, Matt taking a slow breath before he nodded, the man leaning forward to press another kiss against her forehead.
"Okay." He murmured against her skin, Matt placing a few more soft kisses there before beginning to pull back.
"...Will you go with me?" She asked as they separated, her voice sounding a bit small and somewhat lost, like she needed him to say yes, his eyes softening before he nodded. "Cause I... I want to do this, but seeing him again, I-" She stopped herself, Matt's face showing nothing but love and understanding as he ran his hand along her arm.
"Of course I'll go with you, baby." He replied immediately, Gabby releasing a relaxed breath before she smiled. "Whatever you need, I'm there."
"Thank you." She responded, before tucking herself back down into his side, the two staying in their seats as their gazes moved back towards Boden's office. But Lydia was about the farthest thing from Casey's mind right now as he thought over their conversation.
A part of him understood it, why she felt like she needed to do this. But that didn't mean he had to like it, as Casey couldn't help but worry about her going to see him. Not after the way Bryan had nearly torn apart her entire life. But he trusted Gabby, and if she says she's okay to do this, he believed her, as all he could do now was support her, and hope and pray that this wouldn't undo all the progress she'd worked so hard to make.
But despite the worries and uncertainties, there was only one he was sure of, and that was that no matter what happened, he'd be with her every step of the way.