Flight of the Lucky Charm

(St. Pat's challenge viggie involving Lucky Charms and green things)

One Year, Post ROTJ

Leia walked toward Han as he stood on the open-air landing dock, reading a piece of bright green flimsy. He'd been away on assignment for six weeks and while sometimes the time apart drove her crazy, she was grateful he had committed himself so thoroughly to the New Republic, even to the point he wore that hated olive-green General uniform. Right now, however, he was dressed in his typical civilian clothes and was so engrossed in reading the flimsy he was unaware of her approach. "Welcome home, Flyboy!" Leia said, as she was now close enough to speak without shouting.

Han spun around, grinning, but crumpling the green flimsy into a wad and whipping it behind his back. "Hi, Sweetheart!" Quickly, he leaned forward, planting a long, lingering kiss on her lips. "I missed ya."

"Glad to hear it," Leia said, smiling. "What are you hiding behind your back?"

"Nothing."

Leia wasn't fooled by his innocent expression. Holding out her hand, she demanded, "Give it to me."

"It's mine," Han said stubbornly. "It was addressed to me. Personally."

"So it's from a secret admirer?"

"No. Well, sorta."

This admission surprised the Princess. "Really? Give it to me."

"That's not fair."

"You're sounding like a five-year-old," Leia said, exasperated.

"Fine. Just don't say I didn't warn ya." He thrust the flimsy at her, his mouth in a tight line.

Sighing, Leia straightened out the flimsy, then read the words.

"All Good Corellians Welcome You
To be Their Lucky Charm
Just remember to wear Corellian Green, and not be Blue
Cuz happiness is required, and Green is the color of the Mystic Cairn."

"What does this mean?" Leia asked, confused. "Besides the fact Corellians apparently can't write poetry?"

"It's just a stupid Corellian tradition," Han explained tiredly.

"You're admitting something Corellian is stupid?" Leia asked, amused. "Since when?"

"Since I've been invited to be the Lucky Charm," Han mumbled morosely.

"Explain, please."

"It's like this... once a year, Corellians throw this big drinkin' bash -"

"That's something you're opposed to? Since when?"

Han glared at his Princess. "Do you want to hear this, or not?"

"Of course. You have my complete attention."

"Anyway...once a year, Corellians have this big bash, and wear green clothes, and drink too much green-colored gizer, and have parades even though the weather is generally too damn cold to have parades at that time of year - "

"They probably don't notice it after drinking too many green gizers," Leia inserted.

"And they always invite someone to be the Lucky Charm. Sorta like the leader for the day."

Leia's face lit up with comprehension. "So they asked you?"

"Yes."

"Isn't that a great honor?"

"Only if you're drunk."

"You're accepting though, right?"

"Not a chance," Han replied, shaking his head. "I've got my pride."

"You can't turn them down, Han," Leia admonished. "It will be a great boost to the New Republic to have General Han Solo be the Corellian Day Lucky Charm."

"Do you know how stupid that sounds, Princess?"

"I don't care. We're going."

"WE? As in... you an' me?" Han said, the pitch of his voice rising with every word. "You can't go!"

"Why not? Because I'm not Corellian?"

Han thought frantically. "Yeah... that's a good reason. You're not Corellian."

"You're a really bad liar, Solo. I'm coming."

She spun around and headed away, and Han could only watch her leave with the terrible, awful green flimsy still clutched in her fist. "But... but you don't understand," he whispered in despair.

Corellia

Wedge staggered over to Han, giving him a hard slap on his back. "Where's your green, Solo?" he slurred, eyeing Han's regular outfit. "Yer suppose's to be wearin' green."

"I don't own any green clothes," Han groused, backing away from Wedge's gizer-breath.

"Well... it looks like the luck o' the Corellians is wit' ya," Wedge said, pointing to a large group of people heading in their direction. "Yer crown an' robe are comin' now, King Solo."

Han groaned before turning to face the mob, which included a somber-faced Luke Skywalker and a rather tipsy Leia Organa holding a dented, gold crown encrusted with dull, green gemstones, several of which were missing entirely. The green robe was rather threadbare as well, having seen better days. This didn't seem to deter the rowdy group, as they threw the musty cloak over Han's shoulders, cheering loudly as Leia reached up and put the crown atop Han's head.

"My Prince," Leia said, giggling. "Just like in my dreams."

"Git on da float, King Solo," Wedge yelled out. "It's almos' time to start the parade!"

Reluctantly, Han climbed up on the rickety, flat hover-craft, which was covered with plasteel green flower petals, then sat down on the 'throne' which was placed prominently in the very center. The hover-craft gave a worrisome wheeze as it lifted in the air, tipping precariously to the right before becoming stable.

"See ya at the Mystic Cairn, King Solo!" Wedge yelled out as the float, err.. floated away and headed down the street, which was lined with thousands of drunken Corellians.

Han glanced back at Leia, his face reflecting pure misery as the spectators happily tossed empty gizer cans in the direction their Lucky Charm.

Smiling, Leia turned to face Wedge. "What's the Mystic Cairn?"

"Oh... that's a big ol' rock right outta town. The Lucky Charm has to climb up to the top an' if he makes it all the way up without fallin' down, he's gotta kiss the top of the rock." Wedge stopped explaining as the dull grey skies finally started pelting down rain. "Of course, it's a lot harder when it's wet."

Luke pulled his greatcoat tighter. "Why do you have this festival when it's so cold?"

"It's cold?" Wedge asked, surprised.

"You're too drunk to notice," Luke griped.

"Well, that's jus' the right reason ya git drunk, Skywalker," Wedge said happily, taking another slurp of green gizer.

"I'm hungry," Luke muttered, looking around. "When do they serve food?"

"Right af..fer the rock climbin'," Wedge informed him, swaying. "But they're settin' up the food tables right now."

"I'm going to go grab something," Luke told his sister.

"You'd better hurry," Leia yelled out as he left. "We're all headin' over to the Mystic Cairn!"

After the parade...

The 'rock' turned out to be an impressive stone indeed, its sides nearly vertical and very smooth, and the peak a good two hundred feet straight up. The crowd gathered around, waiting impatiently for Han to disembark from his float. By this time the rain had turned to a nasty slush mixture, and the rock was coated in ice.

"Climb! CLIMB! CLIMB!" the crowd of Corellians chanted.

Han hesitated in his walk through the tunnel of humanity long enough to glare at the Princess. "This is all your fault."

"Don't be so can...cantan...ker...,um, moody, Han," Leia called out. "Lucky Charm...Climb. That. Rock!" She turned as Han stalked away toward the towering edifice, and looked at Luke in concern. "What's the matter with you?"

Groaning, Luke bent over. "Corellian food doesn't agree with me. I might've eaten something spoiled."

"Like what?" Wedge asked, throwing back another gizer.

"Well..." Luke moaned again, looking quite green. "They hadn't put the food out yet, and the green gizer looked terrible... so I ate ... some salad."

"Salad?" Wedge asked, startled. "Corellians don't eat salads! Where did you get it?"

"It was in the middle of the table," Luke said defensively. "I'm sure it was a salad!"

Wedge roared in laughter. "That wasn't a salad! That was the traditional Corellian Clover centerpiece!"

"Is it poisonous?" Leia asked, a bit worried.

"N...noooo," Wedge screamed out, flinging himself on the ground and rolling around, heedless of the muck. "The clover is a .. a LAXATIVE!"

"Ahhh!" Luke yelled, rushing away from the crowd.

"Poor Luke," Leia lamented sadly. "Now he won't get to see Han climb the rock." She looked around at the assembled Corellians. "Wedge?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are all the women?"

Wedge only laughed harder.

It took Han nearly half an hour of hard climbing, and by the time he'd reach the pinnacle, his hands and knees were scraped and bloodied. Several times he'd thought he was a goner for sure, as the slippery surface nearly caused him to tumble back to the ground.

He could hear the crowd still chanting as he pulled himself up to the highest point, then listened to the loud cheers as he bent over and kissed the smooth rocky top.

It was at that moment the throng of screaming Corellian females came rushing up the opposite side of the Cairn rock. All Corellians knew the backside of the Mystic Rock was an easy climb, gently sloping up to the summit, yet another part of their tradition. While the man picked as the Lucky Charm had to climb the side of the steep slope, the women on the other hand, would meet the Lucky Charm at the top. If a woman caught the Lucky Charm before he reached the bottom, she would become his bride.

Han threw his hands up in the air, and with wide eyes, went careening down the slippery slope at breakneck speed... with hundreds of women hot on his heels.

Wedge managed to finish explaining this just as Han started running back down the Rock, so Leia could only watch in horror as the man she loved was being driven to his death by marriage-mad females.

"I can't believe this..." Leia said in horror. "They're after my Lucky Charm!"

"Well," Wedge drawled out as the crowd screamed out encouragement to the women. "Look at the bright side ... most of these marriages don't last too long."

Long minutes later, Han finally came tumbling to a stop at Leia's feet, looking up at the incensed Alderaanian as he lay flat on his back. Wincing in pain, he staggered to his feet. "I made it down without getting caught, Sweetheart," he gasped out. To his utter surprise, Leia reached out and slapped his face. "What was that for?" he grumbled, putting his hand over her red palm-print.

"For not letting me know about this part of the tradition," she huffed out. "I would've caught you, nerfherder."

THE END