Chapter 21. The Storm

The next morning, even though she was still exhausted, Julia was awake early. She got up and got ready for the day. Faith was taking a shift at Nathan's bedside from 6 a.m. to 2 p.m., so Julia needed to cover the infirmary. But before she started, she decided to go across the street and get a good strong coffee at the café. When Julia walked in, there were a thousand questions about Nathan. She did her best to dispel any rumors and mostly tell the truth, leaving out certain parts that might make people worry. Clara served Julia's coffee and sent her off with a blueberry muffin, all on the house.

When Julia came back into the infirmary, she sat at her desk and tried to focus. About 8 a.m., Bill came by.

When he entered, she stood, surprised to see him, "Bill what are you doing here? Weren't you sitting up all night at Nathan's? Shouldn't you be resting?" Julia asked.

Bill looked tired, but he needed to get something worked out. He looked at her and explained, "This morning when Faith arrived at Nathan's, she asked me to take the shift this afternoon from 2 p.m. to 10 p.m. She sent this note with me, for you." Bill handed her the note.

Julia,

No change, so we need to keep the schedule going today. Hope this is ok for you:

6 a.m. - 2 p.m. - Faith

2 p.m. - 10 p.m.- Bill

10 p.m. - 6 a.m. - Julia

Sorry to put you on the overnight, but since Bill took it last night, and I was already on 6 a.m., it just worked out that way. And, I will take the next overnight.

Get some rest. If anything comes up, I'll leave you a note by the notepad, at the end of my shift.

-Faith

Julia looked up at Bill and said, "Ok. Bill, I'll see you at 10 p.m. then?"

Bill shifted and said, "Well, there's more. I went early this morning to the mercantile, to send the telegram to Nathan's mother. She answered right away, asking me to call tonight at 6 p.m. Joseph and Minnie have already agreed to go over, with Angela, to sit with Nathan from 6 - 8 p.m. Would you be able to start your shift a little early, and take over for them at 8 p.m.?"

Julia smiled, and said, "Sure, Bill. No problem. I'll be there at 8 p.m." She paused. "You look tired, Bill. Go home and get some rest."

"That's the plan. I'm headed home now. I just had to get that worked out first." Bill nodded and walked toward the door. "See you later, Julia."

"Rest well, Bill." Julia answered as he left.

At 7:00 p.m., Julia started out walking from the infirmary to Nathan's house. She knew she was a little early, but she was hoping to talk to Joseph or Minnie for a few minutes. When she arrived, Joseph was up sitting with Nathan. Minnie and Angela were playing a game with Allie. Julia greeted everyone, but decided to go up to see Joseph. She knocked lightly when she came close to the open door.

"Ah, Julia. Hello. Come on in. I was just sitting here praying for Nathan." Joseph told her. He had leaned his crutches over the second chair, and moved them so she could sit. She set her medical bag down near the nightstand.

"Are you getting around okay on those things?" Julia asked.

"Well, they do wear me out, but I'm sure glad to get out of the house now from time to time. Even if I only go a few houses down." Joseph said.

Julia looked at Nathan, who was still peacefully sleeping. She saw that he had thrashed in the bed again, the covers were somewhat of a mess. And, beads of sweat were on his forehead. She stood and came over to touch his face. He was still quite warm.

"Minnie and I refreshed the towels and ice when we got here. He seemed to sleep more peacefully after that." Joseph said.

Julia felt the towels that were packed around him, and they were no longer cold. The ice also seemed to be melted. So, she took the bucket downstairs and refreshed the ice and water. She brought it back upstairs and refreshed his towels again. She hoped the fever was not spiking.

"How long ago did you refresh the towels?" Julia asked.

"A little bit after we got here, about 6:00." Joseph said. It had been almost 1 1/2 hours, so she decided not to worry yet.

"Has he stirred at all, Joseph?" Julia asked.

"Not at all. He's been like this since we got here." Joseph answered. He paused, looked at Julia and asked, "How are you handling all this?"

Julia knew he was asking as a Pastor and a friend, so she couldn't get around the question. She looked at him with a solemn grin and said, "It's not an easy situation. I don't know how to feel. I don't know when to be a nurse and when to be a friend. It's complicated."

"Julia, Nathan and I are friends, and he talks to me. After the things you already overheard in the infirmary, I know I'm not betraying any confidences in telling you that he thinks of you as more than a friend. Matters of the heart, no matter how new, are usually complicated." Joseph stated.

"He asked me to dinner just before all this happened." She admitted, " I don't want anything to compromise my abilities to give him the best care possible. Certainly not my feelings."

Joseph understood. "Julia, you have to trust the Lord, that He is watching out for Nathan, and He is leading you. Don't be so quick to push away your feelings. Just keep them on the back burner for now. Once Nathan is awake, things will be different." He paused, and then continued, "And, Julia, you are a great nurse. I've seen it first hand, and know you are doing an exceptional job caring for Nathan. Don't be so hard on yourself."

Julia looked at Nathan, and smiled a little brighter. "Thanks, Joseph. You alway know just what to say."

"It's my job and my joy, Julia." He answered her, with a little wink.

They sat for a long time in silence, and Julia realized Joseph was praying for Nathan again. When he was finished, he picked up his crutches, stood, and began to walk towards the stairs.

"Joseph, wait one minute. Let me walk before you as you go down the stairs. I don't think I could handle any more injuries at the moment." Julia asked.

"Suit yourself, but I'm pretty good on these things." Joseph said with a laugh.

Julia wanted to go back down to see the girls, anyway. She walked down in front of him, just an added security, as he descended the stairs.

At the bottom, Julia saw that Minnie, Angela, and Allie were laughing and having a great time. They didn't seem eager to leave and Minnie asked Julia if she would like a tea.

"I would love one, Minnie. What are you guys playing?" Julia asked, sitting next to Allie.

"Gin Rummy." Allie said, "It's really hard, but fun. Do you want to join us? We were just going to start the next hand."

"Sure, deal me in. I can play for a few minutes, before I go back up." Julia said. Minnie came back with a tea and set it down next to her.

Minnie sat down close to Angela, to help her play. Joseph said, "Deal me in too", and he sat across from Julia. They played a few hands while Julia drank her tea. It was a nice break for Allie, and she really seemed to enjoy herself. Then, Julia went back up to sit with Nathan.

After a while, the Canfield's decided to head home. Julia came back down to say good bye.

"Allie, will you come to school tomorrow?" Angela asked.

"It depends on my Dad. If he's better, I'll come. But, if he's still the same, I don't think I could concentrate on anything at school, worrying about him." Allie answered.

"I understand, Allie. When Dad's not well, it's hard to think of doing anything else but being near him." Angela said, and Joseph hugged her from the side as she said it. "If you aren't at school tomorrow, Cooper and I will bring your assignments and homework by again tomorrow, on our way home." Angela said.

"Thanks, Angela." Allie said, and gave her friend a hug. "Thanks Mrs. Canfield and Mr. Canfield for coming too. I had so much fun with you all."

They said their good byes, and they started toward the door. Julia made sure Joseph made it safely down the stairs of Nathan's front porch. Then Allie waved by to them as they walked down the lane.

Allie looked up at Julia and asked, "Is my Dad doing any better?"

Julia smiled at her and said, "Well, why don't we take your book up and find out?"

"Great idea!" said Allie. They went back into the house, and headed up the stairs to Nathan's room. Nathan hadn't moved at all. She and Julia sat in the two chairs as Allie read two more chapters. Julia really liked this book, it was full of adventure.

After a little while, when Allie seemed tired, Julia suggested she go on to bed. Bill had left his bedroll for Julia, though she wasn't sure she would lay down. She kept the oil lamp burning and checked Nathan over. He was burning up and she got fresh ice and towels on him. She checked his vitals and noticed that his heart rate was a little rapid. She noted everything down and decided to stand watch.

Julia looked over at his nightstand and realized that he had nearly finished Huckleberry Finn before the fever had set in. As well, he had left a bookmark in Hope is the thing with Feathers. She took a simple wrapped brown package from her medical bag, and left it there on his nightstand, right on top of Huckleberry Finn.

She took another book out of her bag, The Call of the Wild, opened it and continued reading. After an hour, Julia refreshed his towels and ice. He was still too hot, beads of perspiration on his forehead. She marked his vitals, his heartbeat still a little rapid.

Julia looked at the clock, it was midnight already. She went back to her book and continued reading. She noticed he was becoming more agitated and restless. She soon finished The Call of the Wild, and placed it on the bedroll behind her to return to the shelves later. She reached into her bag and pulled out a new poetry book she was excited about, Robert Frost's North of Boston.

She opened it and started reading. Julia had just finished the first poem, The Pasture when Nathan became more agitated and thrashed a few times in the bed. She stood and checked, he was burning up. It had not been more than an hour since she had last refreshed the ice, but the towels were already warm. She ran downstairs for more ice, and refreshed the towels and ice packed around him, again.

In another hour, everything was already warm again. She packed fresh ice again.

At around 2 a.m., Nathan started to act delirious from the fever. He seemed to be having a bad dream, and was very agitated. He started to thrash more violently and Julia was worried he would hurt himself, or worse, rupture his spleen. She tried her best to calm him. She sat on the edge of the bed and called quietly and gently to him. "Nathan, Nathan, it's Julia. I'm here. Calm down. You are at home. You have a fever. Calm down, Nathan." It wasn't working, so she put more ice on him.

Julia stayed right next to him, she touched his face and tried to get through to him. He started to flail more and more. Then, intermittently, he started calling out to Colleen. "Colleen, don't go." he rambled and grew more agitated, "Colleen, stay here with me!"

Julia spoke quietly, "Nathan, Nathan, you are okay. Calm down. You are at home. It's Julia. You are okay. Calm down."

Nathan became even more agitated, rambling and calling out again to Colleen. "Colleen, you can't go, Colleen!" he was thrashing, "Colleen, come back. Come back, Colleen." He started to weep and Julia didn't know what to do. He was still burning up. He wept harder still, and called out "Colleen. Don't leave me, Colleen. Colleen!"

Julia tried speaking to him again, calm and low, "Nathan, it's okay. It's me, Julia, calm down. Calm down. Nathan, Nathan." As she spoke, she touched his face, rubbed her hands over his hair, trying to calm him.

All of a sudden, he turned towards Julia, and buried his face into her abdomen. Nathan sobbed, harder and harder, building, racking sobs, until she was worried about how hard his body was shaking. Julia pulled him into her, wrapping her arms around his head and his shoulder, trying to comfort him and calm him. His right arm went around her and held her tight.

She whispered, "Ssshhh, Nathan, ssshhh. It's okay. You are going to be okay." Julia kept trying to reassure him and calm him. "Nathan, it's Julia. ssshhh. It's okay now. You are okay. Ssshhh."

Nathan wept for a long time, and when the sobs finally slowed, he laid limp in her arms. Julia held him for a long time, and thought he had fallen asleep.

All at once, Nathan started to speak again, calm and weak now. "Allie, I'm sorry, I have to go now." He said, and Julia's eyes went big.

"Nathan. Don't talk like that. You are not going anywhere." Julia spoke firm to him, in a low voice. Her arms were still strong around him.

"I will miss you, Allie girl. But, I have to go now. I'm so sorry, Allie." Nathan said again, soft and weak, rambling on and on. Tears were rolling down his cheeks. His arm was now limp around Julia's back. She was so frightened, she started to shake. She recognized this kind of talk, she had seen it several times in Calgary, just before someone...

No, she wouldn't think like that. Julia got more animated and upset, and spoke to him firmly now. "Nathan, No. Nathan, stop saying that. You can't leave. Nathan, No. You can't leave. For Allie." She held him tighter still, and spoke close to his face. "You have to fight. Nathan. Listen to me. You have to fight, for Allie. Stop talking like that."

"Allie, I'm so sorry. I will miss you, Allie girl. You are my shining light. The one thing I did right. Allie, goodbye. Goodbye, Allie." Nathan said, his voice getting more and more weak.

Julia began to shake him gently. All of her emotions on the surface and tears spilling over now. "Nathan, No. You can't do that. Stop saying that. You can't go. Allie needs you." She paused and took a deep breath. "You have to stay. Nathan. You have to fight. Fight, Nathan. Stay, for Allie. Please, Nathan, stay."

Nathan became quiet, and she held him for a long time. Julia let out all of her pent up emotions, and cried. And she prayed. She prayed hard. She prayed like she had never prayed before. He was still breathing. His heart rate was strong, though rapid, and he was calm.

Julia held him for a very long time. She was so scared to move or to let him go. But, he was still burning up and she knew eventually she would need to refresh the ice. She needed to keep him cool. When she was sure he was sleeping soundly, she slid out from under his head. She managed to get free of his right arm, which had been hooked firmly around her. She laid his head gently on the pillow. His shirt had become taut in the thrashing and she could see every muscle in his back was still tense.

Julia ran downstairs and got more ice. She ran back upstairs and packed the ice and cold towels around him. As she did, she managed to shift him on his back a little bit, so his chest was exposed and in contact with the ice. She pulled the chair as close to the bed as she could get it, and sat so she could still touch him if she needed to. Her emotions were raw, and she wasn't letting him go. For Allie.

Nathan's right hand, that had held her so tightly, was now laying limp near the edge of the bed. Julia took his hand in hers. She laced her fingers through his and prayed again. She could see the rise and fall of his chest, and she could feel his pulse strong in his hand. She didn't let go.

She looked at the clock. It was now 4:00 a.m. Julia pulled her legs up and tucked them under her skirts. Her right arm wrapped around her knees, and her left hand still holding Nathan's.

Julia watched over him. She didn't leave his side. She didn't let go.

That morning, just a few hours later, Nathan awakened. He slowly opened his eyes to find Julia curled up in the chair right next to his bed, sleeping. Her knees were tucked under her skirts, her right hand around her knees, and her left hand limp on the bed beside him. Her sandy blond hair was falling all around her shoulders. There were dark circles under her eyes. She looked like she'd had a rough night, but even so, she looked beautiful to him. Every time he looked at her he had little butterflies in his stomach. And, he realized in that moment, that he liked waking up to her.

He coughed lightly, but she didn't budge. So, he took her hand, the one that was laying loosely on the bed, and threaded his fingers through hers. He tried the cough again.

Julia awoke to a light cough. She opened her eyes to see Nathan looking at her, and him gently holding her hand.

"Nathan", Julia whispered long and low, with great relief, "you're awake". She took a deep breath and put her legs down. She went on her knees beside the bed and leaned forward close to him. She touched his forehead and face with her free hand. "The fever is down. Thank God." she whispered. He thought he saw tears in her eyes.

"How do you feel?" Julia asked.

"About you sleeping next to me?" He teased. And in that moment, she knew. He was back.

She didn't even care how crimson red her face turned, she was so relieved. He laughed. And, slowly, the sides of her mouth turned up and she smiled.

"That makes the second time, Miss Matthews." Nathan was insufferable. Julia gave in and laughed softly.

"Well, technically that's already three times, if you count the cabin. What would your mother say?" Julia gently joked.

At the mention of his mother, Nathan became completely serious and said, "My mother will love you." Julia smiled back at him, so thankful that he was okay. So thankful.

"All this scandal, and you still haven't taken me to dinner. I think next time, I will let Bill sleep next to you, again." Julia responded.

"No, thank you." He said, shifting uncomfortably, but still smiling. "Wait, why did you say again?" And she looked behind her at the bedroll on the floor.

"Bill slept there?" Nathan asked.

"The first night", Julia responded. "Last night was my turn."

"Wait, how long was I out?" He asked.

"Two days," she replied.

"You've been here the whole time?" Nathan asked.

"Faith, Bill, and I took turns." Julia touched his face again, he wasn't sure it was for his temperature this time. "You gave us quite a scare," she whispered, all tender, sending his stomach into a flip.

He whispered back, "I'm sorry." And Nathan looked at her with such an intense gaze, her emotions were both weighty and floating to the surface, all at the same time. The two of them stayed like that a few minutes, gaze fixed on each other, holding hands; her right hand still absentmindedly stroking his hair and face.

Julia finally came to her senses and said, just above a whisper, "You still didn't answer my question."

Nathan spoke in a low voice, still fixed on her, "What question was that, Miss Matthews?"

"How do you feel?" she asked.

"Physically?" He paused, not wanting to answer, not wanting her to move. Certainly not wanting her to go anywhere, not yet. He wanted her to stay right here. "I feel good," he said smiling.

"Any pain?" Julia spoke low, but wanted to know. "Are you hungry, thirsty?"

"The pain is not too bad right now." Nathan paused. "I can wait, I don't want you to go anywhere." But, his stomach was growling so loud he was sure she could hear it.

Nathan was unable to hide his disappointment when she slowly and reluctantly took her hands back from him. Julia slowly rose and said, "Let me go see what I can find you to eat downstairs."

As she passed Allie's room, Julia went in and shook her gently. Allie looked up at her with a question in her eyes. "He's awake," Julia whispered with a grand smile. She quickly put a finger up and said, "but gently…" as Allie ran past her in a flash.

Julia continued downstairs and found his tray. She filled it with leftover biscuits from last night, butter, jam, and a tall glass of water. She laid some of Faith's pain medication next to the glass of water, and carried the tray up to him. Julia removed all the wet towels from around him, and helped him sit up, not even caring that his shirt was still wide open. She left the tray and started to back out of the room to let he and Allie have some time together. Nathan looked at her over Allie's head as she walked out, visibly and undeniably sad to see her go.

Julia wasn't sure what exactly happened in the middle of the night, but she had never been more frightened in her entire life. When he was making amends and saying good-bye, she thought she would lose him. That he would die on her watch. She knew it was forward, but Julia couldn't help but touch him after what they had been through together. She desperately needed to know that he was okay, to be reassured.

To top it all off, after the sheer intensity of this harrowing, early morning experience, he woke up being completely charming and adorable. And remembered nothing. Julia's nerves and emotions were completely raw, laid bare and exposed, and Nathan had absolutely no idea why. She had been left completely vulnerable, and he, completely oblivious.

Julia heard a light knock on the front door, and opened to Faith. "He's awake." Julia said with a tired, forced smile. She gave Faith a very abbreviated update, unable to live through any of it again. Faith told her to go home and get some rest. She could see that Julia had been through something awful, and was completely exhausted.

So Julia did. She went home, fell into her bed and cried.