Chapter 29. Coffee Time

Nathan woke Tuesday morning with a horrible, pounding headache. He had not slept well, haunted most of the night by a recurring nightmare, one he hadn't had in quite a while. He was fairly certain it was the same dream he'd had when he was delirious with fever, by Julia's account of things.

The dreams used to occur a lot in those early years after Colleen died. He was always right back there, at her bedside as she passed, begging her not to go. Telling her not to leave him and Allie, asking her to fight.

Last night had been particularly intense, and after the dream subsided, he'd had a hard time getting back to sleep. His mind kept wandering in that dark place, thinking of other disappointments and pains that had also kept him up at night, over the course of a 3 year time span. His happenstance connection to Jack Thornton, his guilt over developing feelings for his widow, and then the rejection that she so harshly dealt him. Those were things he had seldom thought of since a certain ray of sunshine had entered his life. But for some reason, his mind seemed to want to reconcile it all in the same night, and the end result was that sleep had eluded him.

When he had finally come downstairs, he had not been well, and Allie could see it. She was reluctant to leave him and go to school, but he assured her that it was not related to his injury. Just a rough night. Allie had wanted to go to Lee's and call Julia, but Nathan insisted she would arrive soon enough for his house call. Allie had, however, so thoughtfully prepared a particularly hot bath, hoping that would help him. He had entered the bath gratefully and decided to soak as long as possible.

When Julia arrived at Nathan's for his morning house call, she knocked lightly on the door. There was no answer, so Julia knocked again, much harder this time. Still nothing. She walked around to the backyard as she had yesterday afternoon, but Nathan was no where to be found.

She walked up the back steps and looked in the back window, but the house was empty, no sign of Nathan on the first floor either. For safety's sake, Julia decided to enter and make sure Nathan hadn't fallen or passed out.

She slowly opened the back door, and called out, "Nathan?" She heard no response, so she stepped inside and called louder "Nathan?" Still, silence.

Julia, worried now, walked to the bottom of the stairs and called out, "Nathan?"

She still didn't hear anything, so she walked slowly up the stairs, and tapped on his closed bedroom door. "Nathan?" She called, louder now. "Nathan?" She knocked again, much louder this time. Julia heard movement and something that sounded like water and splashing. Worry filled her and she struggled to stay calm.

"Nathan?" Julia called one more time through the door.

She was just about to open the door, when he finally answered, "Jules?"

"Yes it's me, Nathan, are you ok?" Julia responded, her voice clearly shaking now.

Nathan answered, "I'm ok, I'm ok, I'll be out in a few minutes". More splashing and she realized he must be in the bath. She blushed at the thought of how close she had come to opening the door.

Julia took a deep breath, went back downstairs, and sat on the couch. As she sat waiting, she noticed the Bible she had seen on Nathan's bedside table, sitting on the coffee table. Something familiar was sticking out from the inside. Julia slowly picked up the Bible and let it fall open. Sure enough, marking his place, was the most recent edition of the Valley Voice, folded open to her photo. Julia recognized the passage he was marking, one of her favorites, 1 Corinthians 13. The passage about love. Her heart warmed at the thought of him reading this passage, and marking his place with her photo.

Julia set the Bible back down, her thoughts still on Nathan. She thought of how kind and sensitive he was. In fact, several beautiful memories came back to her. The first was when they had been watching over Joseph up at the cabin, and she had woken up to his serge lain gently across her to keep her warm. The second memory was when Julia had been apprehensive to ride down the mountain on Newton with him, a handsome stranger, and Nathan had spoken so gently to her. They had hardly known each other in both of those instances, but he had been so selfless and kind. She felt so blessed to be pursuing a relationship with such a man.

Julia heard his bedroom door open and she was pulled out of her memories. She quickly climbed the stairs. When she arrived in front of him, his breath caught as he looked at her tenderly. Nathan found her radiant in a simple cream colored blouse and navy blue skirt.

"Hi" he said and her heart skipped a beat. Would that ever stop happening, she wondered?

She took a deep breath and answered, "Good morning, Nathan. Can I help you downstairs?"

Nathan smiled and nodded, so she took his right hand, turned, and hooked his arm over her shoulders. When she came close to him, she realized he smelled very good. She helped him down the stairs and to the couch. As he sat down and leaned back, his wet hair fell over his forehead.

Once Nathan was seated and in the light, she got a good look at him and noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the pained lines on his face.

Suddenly, she was worried again, "Nathan, what happened, are you ok?" She froze, concerned, and sat down just next to him.

"I had a rough night. And I'm sorry, I didn't hear you knocking right away. I fell asleep in the bathtub." Nathan stated, with an awkward smile.

"What do you mean by a rough night? Were you in pain?" She asked, worried still.

He looked at the far wall, unable to meet her gaze. "No, nothing having to do with my injury. Just a recurring dream that comes and goes." He confessed, honestly.

Julia could see the struggle, but she didn't want to push. "Nathan, you don't need to explain. Maybe in the afternoon you can get some rest." She tried to encourage him.

Nathan seemed to want to share more, and Julia wanted to give him the space. He looked at her sadly, and said, "It's the same dream you most likely witnessed when I had the fever. The one when I was calling out to Colleen." His face looked so downcast that Julia reached and took his hand.

Julia asked gently, "Do you get them often?"

Nathan answered, "They were quite frequent just after Colleen passed away. But almost rare now." He paused and looked at her, "I just thought after 9 years…" and he didn't finish his sentence.

Julia squeezed his hand and said gently, "Nathan, don't be disappointed. There's no formula for grief, and everyone processes it differently." She paused and looked him in the eye, "You have to be patient with yourself. And give yourself permission to grieve naturally, whatever that looks like for you." Julia realized it was not easy for him to share all this with her. And, she appreciated his honesty.

Nathan held her gaze and said, "Thanks, Jules." He looked down at her hand in his. "I'm very thankful for this." He said, indicating their fingers intertwined. He fixed his gaze on her once more and said, "Having you in my life seems to make everything better."

Julia smiled and said, just above a whisper, "I could say the same about you." They sat there a long time just holding hands.

Finally, reluctantly, Julia said, "I am supposed to be in the infirmary today, so at some point I should probably get to your examination." She paused, "though I will stay as long as you need."

At her words, his expression changed a little, to hopeful. He held her gaze and asked, with his most charming smile, "As long as I need or as long as I want?"

Julia smiled at his cute little flirtation, and wished she could stay all day. "Maybe somewhere in the middle?" she replied.

"Ok, deal." He said, almost content now.

Nathan sat up and unbuttoned his shirt, to get the examination part over with. He pulled the shirt up over his left shoulder to let her examine his stitches.

Julia said, "They look great, Nathan. All good here." Then, she did her examination of his ribs, though gently.

"The ribs seem to be healing nicely. Are you still taking the pain medication?" She asked.

"Yes, I took it this morning." Nathan responded.

"I think you should keep it up tonight and tomorrow morning, and then see how you feel in the afternoon, tomorrow." Julia suggested.

"Ok. I can do that." He said as he buttoned his shirt back up.

Nathan looked at her then, wanting her to stay longer. "Jules, can you stay for a coffee?"

She answered, "I would love that. But let me make it, and you stay here and relax."

"Sure. I can agree to that," he said with a contented smile.

Julia stood and went to the kitchen, though once in there, she laughed when she realized she didn't know where anything was. She called out, "Nathan, you might have to tell me where everything is."

Her acceptance of his coffee invitation gave him an extra boost of energy, so instead of answering, he stood and came to the kitchen to help her. Nathan slowly reached over her to pull down the coffee pot and coffee. When he brought them down, he realized how close they were standing to one another. He looked down at her and swallowed hard.

"Spoons are in the drawer behind you." He said, as he moved over to let her work. Julia set up the water and the coffee, and then set the pot on the stove.

Julia turned again to face him, and asked. "And where would I find the cups and saucers?" He pointed to the cabinet to her right, and she took two of each down. "And, Nathan, how do you take your coffee?" When she asked the question, Julia found it strange that as close as she felt to him, she didn't know how he took his coffee. She remembered he had asked for a little milk in his tea, but had no idea for his coffee.

"Black and strong." he answered with a little grin. "And you?" Nathan realized he wanted to know that about her, too.

"A little milk, same as how I take my tea." Julia answered.

"There should be some in the icebox." He said, and she went over and took out the milk bottle.

She poured a little in her cup, and when the coffee gurgled, she served coffee into both cups. She remembered where the tray was stored, so she took it out and placed the coffee cups on it. She carried the tray over to the living room, and Nathan followed.

As they both sat down, she looked down at the beautiful wooden tray. She thought of a question she had wanted to ask every time she had used that tray to serve him.

Julia smiled coyly at him and asked, "Did you make this lovely tray, Nathan?"

"Yes." He answered, sipping his coffee.

Julia put her hand on the coffee table as she asked, "And, the coffee table?"

Again Nathan answered, "yes," as she picked up her coffee cup.

She tilted her head and asked, pointing, "What about the table over there by the front door?"

He answered playfully, "Yes, again. But, Miss Matthews, that makes 3 questions already, you are only supposed to get one."

She smiled at his response, and explained, "Ok. I'm sorry, you are right. A lot of questions. It's just I've been in here several times now, and I've always wanted to ask. It just never seemed the time or well, then you were unconscious, so I never got the chance."

Nathan nodded and realized he had a question for her, too. Something he really wanted to know. "Well I have a question for you, Jules. How did you know Allie's birthday was coming up?"

"Is that your one question?" She smiled slyly.

"Wait, I don't get three like you did?" Nathan protested, really pouring on the charm now.

"Well, it was really the same question wasn't it?" Julia tried to slide it past him.

"Now look who badly phrased their question?" He said, reminding her of his mistake yesterday. He looked at her mischievously but she couldn't deny him. Not today, not after what he had shared with her.

She laughed and completely caved, "Ok, Constable. You win. Three questions. But, only for today. Tomorrow, the game goes back to one question."

He smiled a huge contented smile. Teasing her, he rubbed his hands together as if he was up to no good. She shook her head cutely at him, knowing he was not capable of being too mischievous.

"Jules, I feel like I just won the lottery. Where to start?" Nathan contemplated, rubbing his chin.

Julia giggled and said, "Don't make me regret this, Nathan."

"Ok. Jules, one question: How did you know Allie's birthday was coming up?" Julia put her coffee cup down and walked to the front door. She gently ran her fingertips over the growth markings drawn so carefully into the door frame. Julia said thoughtfully, remembering, "I found this on one of my long shifts, while you were unconscious with fever. The dates are all the same, only the year is different. When I asked Allie if it was her growth chart, she told me you measured her every year on her birthday."

Julia came back and returned to her seat next to him. He took her hand and threaded his fingers through hers. "Thank you for realizing and for bringing it to Minnie's attention. She and Angela are so excited and Allie is going to be so surprised. Without your help, I'm afraid I wouldn't have been able to make it very special this year." He told her, with much gratitude.

Julia explained further, "That's precisely why I mentioned it to Minnie. I adore Allie, and I didn't want the day to go unnoticed. You had just woken up from the fever and I didn't think you would be able. And, it wasn't my place to do more than that."

Nathan lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it, making her heart race. "Thank you, Julia."

"It was nothing, Nathan." Julia answered.

"Well, it will be huge to Allie. She is going to be so surprised. She thinks we are going to the Canfield's for a small birthday dinner." Nathan paused, "And, I have to tell you, Jules, she insists that you come with us. She adores you too, and absolutely wants you there." Nathan replied.

That revelation brought a huge smile to Julia's face. "I don't know what to say, Nathan. I'm touched."

"Say you'll come, and she won't forget it." He said, simply.

Julia smiled, "I'll be there."

Nathan looked at her, letting his contentment show clearly on his face. "Shall I move to my second question?" He asked.

Julia took a deep breath and nodded.

"Ok. Jules, one question: How did you know blueberry muffins were my favorite?" Nathan asked.

Julia laughed at that one, so glad it was a lighter topic. He also looked amused and she answered honestly, "Actually, I didn't know. Blueberry are my favorite. And, I just figured if I wanted to say thank you properly, I should offer what is, in my opinion, the absolute best muffin in the world."

Nathan chuckled at her response. "Fair enough. And now I know your favorite muffin. This game is a win-win all the way around!" He sat back, pleased.

"Ok, Lawman, what's your final question?" Julia asked, playfully.

Nathan sat thinking for a minute while she finished her coffee. Finally, he looked at her and asked. "Jules, one question: You told me that your Mom called you Jules, and that Jake picked it up and called you that too, but I would like to know what your Dad called you?"

"Wow, great question, Nathan. And very perceptive, you caught the fact that I didn't mention my Dad calling me Jules. Because he didn't, at least not that I remember. He gave me a pet name instead of a nickname." Julia paused and looked at Nathan, smiling big and happy that he was interested to know something else that was so precious to her. "Promise you won't laugh?"

"I promise." He answered.

Julia replied, in a proud but shaky voice, "My father called me Buttercup."

Nathan smiled big, imagining a very young Julia being so sweetly called Buttercup, by her own father. He could imagine it so very easily, from his heart as a father, and it was touching.

"That's a sweet name, Julia. And very precious between a father and a daughter." He stated.

"Like Allie girl." Julia replied.

"You think so?" Nathan asked.

"It's the perfect name for you to call her, Nathan. And also very touching." she confirmed.

Julia glanced at the clock and Nathan noticed. "Do you need to go, Jules?"

"I probably should." Julia said sadly. She didn't want to go anywhere, but she had responsibilities in the infirmary. She slowly stood and took the coffee cups to the kitchen, washed them quickly and left them to dry.

When she came back over, he stood and walked her to the door.

Nathan stood facing her, looking sad that she was leaving. Julia smiled suspiciously at him and said, "I'm not sure if you are doing it on purpose, but you make it really hard to leave." She paused, and then added, "But, I'll be back this evening."

"That's a good sign, right, that it's hard to go?" Nathan gently joked.

Julia laughed lightly at him. "I would think so."

Nathan took her hand and pulled her slowly toward him, until she was fully in his embrace. She laid her cheek on his chest, tucked her head just under his chin, and wrapped her arms around his back. She felt him sigh, and she did the same. "How come you fit so perfectly, right there?" He asked into her hair.

He felt her make a cute little laugh just next to his neck. The action made every hair on his body stand on end, and he was sure she could hear his pulse quicken under her ear.

After a few minutes, she reluctantly pulled back, and smiled up at him. "I really should get going, before you entice me to stay all day, right here, hidden away with you." Julia stated.

"Is that possible? Please tell me what I have to do." He answered, smiling playfully at her.

Julia laughed and said, "If only it were possible without the whole town talking. And, I think we already made enough waves when we rode into town on the same horse."

Nathan smiled at her, realizing he had to think of both of their reputations now, and how hard that was going to be. What he really wanted to do, was throw all caution to the wind and kiss her right now, in his living room.

Julia reluctantly pulled back a little further until only their hands were still joined. "Until tonight, Nathan?" She asked, tilting her head cutely at him.

"Until tonight." He answered and let her go. Julia picked up her medical bag and opened the door. She gave him one more smile before slowly walking out the door.

It was after 10:30 a.m. when Julia arrived at the infirmary. She felt horrible for being so late, even if she had left a note. She decided to make up for it by bringing over something to eat from her apartment, and working through her lunch break.

The afternoon went by very slowly. Julia didn't have any patients and busied herself with paperwork. That is, until Lucas Bouchard brought in one of his employees, a young man who had deeply cut his forearm while building something out at the oil rig.

The young man seemed nervous, so in an effort to calm him, Julia asked, "What's your name, young man?"

"William Burnett", he answered quietly.

"William, I'm going to need to clean the wound very well, and then close the wound with a line of stitches. Is that ok?" Julia said, as she smiled at him kindly.

"Yes, ma'am." William answered, a little less nervous now.

Julia turned to Lucas and asked, "Mr. Bouchard, would you like to come back in about an hour?"

"Yes, I can do that. Thank you, Miss Matthews." Lucas agreed and stepped out.

Julia cleaned the wound well with a strong antiseptic. She sutured the wound nicely, applied a salve and bandaged his arm tightly. The young man was shy and seemed apprehensive to say much more, even in the absence of Mr. Bouchard.

When she was done, Julia started making notes in his patient file. "William, I'll need to see you back on Thursday, to have a look at those stitches. Just to make sure there is no infection." Julia stated.

"Yes, ma'am." William answered her.

Julia gave William a glass of water, and let him sit at her desk until Lucas came back.

When Lucas walked in, Julia also spoke with him. "Mr. Bouchard, William will need to take it easy and keep that arm clean and dry for at least a week. It's imperative, to ensure the wound heals well." She paused, "And, as I already told him, I will need to see William back on Thursday, to have a quick look at those stitches and make sure there is no infection."

Lucas nodded, "Very well, Miss Matthews, we will do our best." He paused, "And I will make sure someone brings him by on Thursday."

"Thank you, Mr. Bouchard." And, to William she said, "Rest well, William, and I'll see you on Thursday." Then, the two men left. Julia marked some more notes down on William's file.

Finally, Julia looked at the clock and wondered if 6 p.m. would ever arrive?

At 5:30 p.m., Julia finally closed up early and headed to the livery. She wanted to check on Newton, and had a little idea to cheer up Nathan. Jed was sweeping out Lucy's stall when she arrived. Julia asked after Newton and Jed informed her that Bill had been by often and ridden him a few times. Julia went in and checked Newton's stitches and saw that they were healing up nicely.

"Jed, I will come by on Friday to take Newton's stitches out." Julia told him. "I wanted to know if it would be okay to take Newton for a little walk?"

Jed responded, "Yes, of course, let me get a bridle on him."

When Julia arrived at Nathan's she went up and knocked on the door. Allie opened, and when she saw Julia, grinned from ear to ear. Julia couldn't help but do the same.

"Come in, Miss Matthews." Allie called out as she opened the door wide.

"Good evening, Allie." Julia greeted her.

Julia entered and found Nathan resting on the couch. He sat up when she came over and sat down next to him.

"Hi, Nathan. Did you get some rest this afternoon?" Julia asked.

"Yes, I slept most of the afternoon and feel much better." He responded.

"Are you feeling well enough to come outside for a moment? There is someone who would really like to see you." Julia asked.

Nathan looked perplexed, but stood to follow her. Allie came too, wondering who in the world could be outside? She hadn't noticed anyone with Julia when she arrived.

Julia opened the door in front of him, and Nathan came out onto the porch. Julia led him out a little farther until he could see Newton, tied up just off to the side of the house. Nathan's face lit up when he saw his old pal, and Julia helped him down the stairs. Nathan went happily over and began to pet and talk to Newton, who neighed and stomped contentedly at seeing Nathan. It was a sweet reunion, and obviously did both of them a lot of good.

Julia sat down on the steps and Allie came to join her.

"Julia, what a great idea." Allie stated. "He's been wondering about Newton all this time. This will lift his spirits for sure."

"I hope so. I read an article about animals being used for healing purposes, in certain medical cases. Also, for boosting moral, when patients seem a little down. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner." Julia said, watching the two of them reunited and loving it.

Julia stayed a long time at their house, even after Florence brought dinner for Allie and Nathan. She let Nathan have as long a time as he could physically stand, with Newton. Once he was tired, Nathan and Julia sat on the front steps a long time holding hands and talking.

When Julia finally took Newton back to the livery, it was nearly 9 p.m. She walked home that night feeling that her heart couldn't possibly hold any more.