Chapter 33. Sunday Talk
Julia slept in a little late on Sunday. She was tired. She had been up late Friday night and early on Saturday morning. She didn't get to sleep easily on Saturday night, after all the excitement. Not to mention that Saturday had been an exhaustive emotional roller coaster. She was determined not to let that hinder her Sunday, it was her day off. Well, except for the house call she still had to make in the afternoon. But, she wanted to rest and make the best of it. And, she looked forward to going to church.
Julia wasn't sure Nathan's house calls were still needed, but Faith insisted they keep them up, just in case. Also, now that Faith wanted Nathan to start walking as part of his recovery, she wanted either Julia or her with him on the walks, as added security. Julia had happily volunteered to see to his walks, as she had been eager to spend more time with Nathan.
Julia hoped things would go better today. She wasn't sure what happened yesterday, but she didn't want to rehash it. She knew she hadn't done anything wrong, just that she had touched a sensitive subject. He had seemed almost himself by the end of the evening. But, obviously there in the middle there was something off. Way off. She didn't want to try to understand, she just wanted to hope for the best, for today.
Julia finally got up, made a hot bath, and soaked a long time.
Nathan hadn't slept well, at all. He had the recurring dream twice, and then a new one. In this new dream, Julia was sitting side-saddle on Newton, wearing an elegant, beautiful, long white flowing gown that hung down way past Newton's knees. Her bare toes peeked out from one fold of the dress, and her long wavy locks flowed down all around her, almost to her waist. Her eyes had never looked so clear and blue. Her cheeks were rosy and her lips were a glossy dark mauve. She looked as breathtaking as he had ever seen her, in fact, in the dream he had a hard time breathing just looking at her. He started to walk towards her, but then came the disturbing part of the dream. She slowly waved bye to him, with a sadness and regret in her eyes. She reluctantly turned and she and Newton took off up the mountain path. In the dream, he just wanted to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her. But, she escaped before he could stop her and make her his.
Nathan woke up in a cold sweat and a fit of panic. He was sure he had never felt this way about anyone, even Elizabeth. He remembered a few rough nights on Elizabeth's account, but it usually wasn't because of a dream, just him thinking too much. When he'd had a dream that had to do with her, it usually hadn't involved her at all, but Jack. A few times he'd had the same one. Jack would come and tell Nathan to take care of Elizabeth, and when Nathan would try, a door would close in his face. One time towards the end of that roughest year, Elizabeth was in the dream, and she slapped him, telling him how dare he fall in love with her.
Now, when he thought about how he felt about Julia, he wasn't even sure he was ever really in love with Elizabeth. It didn't even compare. Maybe he was, but it wasn't nearly as deep and as true as what he felt for Julia. Maybe the fact that Julia sent him clear signals, and he knew where he stood with her, made her all the more endearing? All those months of mixed signals and confusion from Elizabeth had been a roller coaster, and a lot less appealing. He was starting to wonder now, if he had only been in love with the idea of Elizabeth, not really her, but the idea of having someone to love and to share his life with. She had obviously not been the one, but perhaps a catalyst for him to decide to open his heart to the possibility of a lifelong love.
Now he knew he had to let Julia in completely. He wasn't sure how to do that, but he wanted to try, one day at a time. That is what they had said anyway, so he would stay the course. And, the next time she asked a hard question, he would remember how much he cared about her, and he would share with her. As his mother said, he could count on her, through and through. And, to be honest, he wanted to know all her broken and mended places too. He wanted to know it all, every shadow and every gloomy place.
Nathan finally got up, and realized he was quite sore from all the activity yesterday. He decided to go downstairs and make coffee, and see if his mother would make him a hot bath when she got up.
As Julia walked to church, she noticed the pretty yellow flowers growing to the left of the path. They were everywhere, and made a yellow glow that hovered over the dark green of the field. It was beautiful, a little smile from heaven for her Sunday morning.
When she arrived at the steps of the church, a small group was assembled outside. Lee's car had just pulled up, and Allie and Grams were standing outside. Allie came bounding over and said, "Good morning, Miss Matthews!"
"Good morning, Allie. How are you this morning after such a fun and exciting day, yesterday?' Julia asked her.
"It was so much fun! I woke up this morning wondering if it was all a dream. But, I got up early and went to the livery and saw Sunflower, and then I knew it was real." Allie said, smiling and giggling.
"It wasn't a dream, Allie. And, it was a lovely evening. I'm glad you had fun." Julia replied.
Rebecca walked up and said, "Good morning, Julia. How are you?"
"I'm doing well, thank you. And, you?" Julia asked.
Rebecca answered, "I'm doing well. Unfortunately, Nathan seems to be pretty sore. He asked me for a hot bath this morning, but he still seems like he's struggling. I don't know if he overdid it?"
Julia looked worried, and asked, "Is he inside already?"
"Yes, Lee took him right in, so he could sit down. He didn't want to stand around." Rebecca explained.
Julia nodded, and headed right inside. She found him already seated on the 4th row back, alone. She entered the pew from the side, and he looked up at her as she came over. She sat right next to him.
She smiled shyly, and said, "Hi, Nathan."
He gave a little smile, but she saw the lines around his eyes. "Hi, Jules."
"I saw your Mom outside. How are you feeling?" Julia asked.
He couldn't lie. "I might have overdone it yesterday. I just feel sore, all over. I didn't sleep well."
Julia asked, "Nathan, why didn't you stay in bed, and get some rest?"
"Because, I like coming to church. It always seems to lift my spirits, and I think I could really use that right now." He said, so honestly and simply, that she took his hand. He lowered his voice to just above a whisper, "And, then there's you…I knew you would be here."
"And, here I am." Julia said low, threading her fingers through his.
"Here you are." He said quietly, looking at her with that intense gaze of his.
Julia heard the back doors open and everyone started filing in, so she quickly let go of his hand and scooted over. He looked sad at the separation, but she just kept smiling at him.
Rebecca came in with Rosemary and Lee, and sat on the other side of Julia. Allie came and sat right next to her Dad, in between he and Julia. The service started right up, so Julia stayed right where she was, in between Allie and Rebecca.
The service was really nice. The message, titled "Leap of Faith", was really good, as usual. Joseph talked about taking risks, even when we can't see what's on the other side of the risk. Sometimes we have to take the leap and believe that God is working on our behalf. The verse he shared was from 2 Corinthians 5:7, "For we walk by faith, not by sight."
After the service, Nathan smiled at Julia and walked painfully up to talk with Joseph. The rest of the congregation began filing out, and Julia, Rebecca, and Allie followed. Rosemary and Lee went out on the other side of the pew, though Rosemary caught Julia as she came down the stairs. Allie went to join her friends, and Rebecca went over to talk to Bill.
"Julia, it was so nice to hear you play last night. Do you know more show tunes? We could have a little improv singing session, sometime." Rosemary said, excitedly.
Julia laughed, "I don't know many more, but if we can get our hands on the sheet music, I could certainly try to learn some more."
"I can look into that. But, it was a lovely evening, and so much fun. The piano session added such pizzazz to the party!" Rosemary said with animated hands.
"It was a lovely evening, wasn't it?" Julia smiled, content.
"Indeed. Julia, I wanted to ask your help with something. You know our annual Founder's Day Festival is coming up next weekend. We have been planning and working on all the organization for weeks now. But, we still need some extra hands to pull it off. I wanted to see if you would be available to help?" Rosemary solicited.
Julia said, "Sure, Rosemary. I read Allie's article as well as some of the others, in the Valley Voice, and I would love to help. What can I do?"
Rosemary replied, "Well, we are having a meeting on Wednesday at 4 p.m., in my office, to finalize all the details. If you'd like to join us, we will go through what areas still need more hands to help, so you can see what you might like to help with."
Julia replied, "That works fine for me, Rosemary, I will plan to be there on Wednesday at 4 p.m. If anything comes up before then, please don't hesitate to ask."
Rosemary smiled at her and said, "Thanks, Julia. It's going to be a fun time."
"I'm sure it will be, with you as Master Organizer." Julia smiled at her.
Julia spotted Faith and decided to go talk to her about Nathan. When she walked up, Mike and Fiona were there chatting.
Fiona looked at Julia and said, "Perfect timing. Julia, we were just discussing another Social Club. What do you think?"
Julia responded, "I think it's a great idea. Nathan might not be up for too much, for a little while yet. Unless, we bring him by car or wheelchair. And, it depends on what activity you have in mind?"
"Well, what if we did something where he could stay seated?" Faith suggested.
"We could play games, like cards. Or maybe even a short film? Lee managed to bring one in once, I don't know how that worked, but maybe I could ask him?" Mike joined in.
"That sounds like a great idea, Mike. Let's put our heads together, and maybe we can plan it after Founder's day." Fiona concluded.
"I'm in." Faith said, and Julia nodded too.
When Julia looked around, there weren't a lot of folks still mingling. A lot had dispersed back home, and Nathan was still not out yet. Julia remembered why she had come over in the first place, to talk to Faith.
"Faith, can I talk to you for a second, please? Sorry guys," she looked at Fiona and Mike, "it's about Nathan's care." And, Faith and Julia stepped over to talk privately.
"Nathan is pretty sore today. He doesn't look too good." Julia looked pensive, "Yesterday he walked from his house to the Canfield's, and back. It's not too far, but with it being Allie's birthday, there was a lot of activity. I think he overdid it."
"Why didn't he stay home and rest this morning?" Faith asked.
"I asked the very same thing. He said he really wanted to come to church to hear Joseph." Julia said, omitting the part about her.
"Are you still planning to make the house call this afternoon?" Faith asked.
"I sure am." Julia answered.
"Tell him to rest until you come. The less movement the better. And, maybe he could try hot and cold compresses on his ribs, to see if that would help?" Faith suggested.
"Rebecca told me he had a hot bath this morning, and that seemed to help a little." Julia stated.
"He could do another one this evening, if he's up for it." Faith said. "Anything that helps. He needs to get enough rest, though. That's the most important."
"Ok, I'll go relay all of this to Rebecca, and hopefully tell him too, when he comes out." Julia stated, and set off to find Rebecca.
Rebecca was with Florence when she found her. Julia stayed and chatted until Florence left with Ned and Paul. When they were alone, Julia shared with Rebecca all that Faith had suggested. Rebecca said she would see to it all, and Julia mentioned that she would also bring a balm that might help. Julia told Rebecca to make sure he rested as much as possible, and she would come by around 4 p.m. for his house call.
Nathan had still not come out of the church, and only Rebecca, Julia, Rosemary and Lee where left waiting outside. Everyone else had already gone home. Lee offered to stay and wait with the car, and Rosemary and Rebecca decided to walk on home together. They both had food in the oven, on low heat, and wanted to see to it. Julia waited a little while longer with Lee, but finally decided she would also head back home. She had some things to do before her afternoon house call, and she wanted to be on time for it.
"Lee, please let Nathan know I waited as long as I could. Tell him the doctor's orders are to rest as much as possible, and I'll come by at 4 p.m." Julia stated.
"I can do that, Julia. Have a good day." Lee said.
"Thanks, Lee. I hope you have a good day, too." Julia said, and she started off towards home.
A little before 4 p.m., Julia set out for Nathan's. When she arrived, Allie opened the door and invited her in. Rebecca was preparing something in the kitchen that smelled delicious. Julia greeted both of them and then asked about Nathan.
"He's been in bed all afternoon, napping. We didn't want to wake him, so I haven't even been up there." Rebecca said.
"I peeked in, Grams, about a half hour ago. He was snoring." Allie said, smiling.
Julia looked at Rebecca to see what to do.
"Shall I go up and see if he's awake now?" Rebecca offered.
"What time did he lay down?" Julia asked.
"About 2:30." Rebecca stated. "He spent a long time with Joseph, nearly 2 hours I think, and he came home spent. I barely got him to eat anything before he went up to lay down."
"Is it okay if I come with you, and if he's still sleeping deeply maybe we can wait a little while to wake him. He said he didn't sleep well last night. So I want to make sure he rests enough." Julia stated.
Rebecca nodded and they headed up together. When they entered he was still sleeping soundly. Julia couldn't bring herself to wake him after how tired he had looked at church. Now he looked so handsome and peaceful.
Julia looked at her and whispered, "I don't have the heart to wake him, Rebecca. Why don't we give him another half hour?" Julia stated, and Rebecca nodded and they both went out.
They went down the stairs and Rebecca returned to the kitchen. Allie was reading in the living room, so Julia went over, scanned the shelves and took a book of poetry and sat with her. After 30 minutes, Julia looked at the clock and debated going up, but decided to wait another 15 minutes.
About 10 minutes later, Julia heard the door of his bedroom creak open. She was immediately up the stairs.
When she arrived at the top, he smiled and this time it was Julia that said, "Hi."
"Jules." He said, surprised but happy to see her, "is it 4 p.m. already?"
Julia chuckled, "It's about 4:45, actually. We let you sleep a little longer." She came closer and asked, "Are you feeling any better?"
"Yes, much better." Nathan said, looking at her.
"I'm glad." Julia said, "shall I help you down?"
"Sure." He said. She came close and put her shoulder under his right one. They went down the stairs and then she brought him to the couch.
"Did you try a hot pack or a cold pack?" Julia asked.
"Yes, Mom insisted, so I tried the hot pack when I layed down, it seemed to help." He replied.
"Tonight you could also try another hot bath." Julia suggested. "Could I have a look?"
Nathan wanted to be alone with her, so he suggested, "Could we go out back?"
Julia smiled, and said, "Of course, Nathan, if it's not too much for you."
"Well, if you help me, I think I can make it." Nathan said, hopeful.
Julia stood and came again to his right side, and said quietly, "You can count on me."
They walked out the back door together, and down the few steps, to the chairs. He sat and started to open his shirt from the top, but Julia stopped him and said, "You can open from the bottom, Nathan, I don't need to see your shoulder today. Maybe if we pull your shirt up that would be less movement for your torso." He leaned back in the chair and she pulled the other chair right up to his, touching at the armrest, so she could lean in as close as possible. She opened what she needed, and inspected his ribs. He flinched when she touched him, the ribs were quite swollen. The dark blues and greens were still pronounced, though fading, but he felt every touch of her hands.
"I have a balm I'd like to try, Nathan. It has fresh mint oil in it, and should help." Julia offered.
He nodded, so she took it out of her bag, and rubbed some into his side, on top of his ribs. He made a few moans, even though she tried to be gentle.
When she was done she said, "I can leave it with you, if it helps. You can apply it twice a day." Julia paused and then asked, "Do you have any pain medication left?"
"A few, I think." he stated, looking at her, liking how close she was sitting to him.
"Do you know where they are?" Julia asked.
"I think they are on the counter in the kitchen." Nathan replied. She stood and went to get them.
When she entered the kitchen, Rebecca looked at her, worried. "Julia, is everything okay?" She asked.
Julia gave her an even grin and said, "Everything is fine, he's just quite sore. I think you are right that he overdid it yesterday. I recommend that he take the pain medication for a few days, it will also help with the swelling."
Rebecca looked relieved and smiled at her. "I'll see that he keeps on the medication, don't you worry."
"And, Rebecca, another hot bath would serve him well tonight. Also, he said the hot compress seemed to help, so if you can keep those up, too." Julia suggested.
"Consider it done, Julia." Rebecca stated. "It's why I'm here."
"And, I'm so glad you are." Julia smiled at her, and found the bottle of medication on the counter. She also got a glass and filled with water. Then she returned outside.
Nathan tried to sit up, but she came around to help him. "Are you more comfortable like this?" She asked.
He replied, "Yes. thanks, Jules." She sat back down in the chair close to him. She held the medicine out to him in one hand, and the glass of water in the other. He took both and swallowed the medicine. She stayed close as he leaned back on the pillow and looked at her. He reached his hand out to her, and she took it.
"I'm sorry you are so sore, Nathan. I should have insisted on the wheelchair yesterday." Julia concluded.
He raised his other hand and said, "Jules, please don't feel responsible. I wanted to try walking, and I would have tomorrow, anyway. It was bound to happen one way or the other, right?"
Julia nodded and said, "Probably. I just don't like seeing you like this."
Nathan smiled at her, trying to make her feel better. "And, it was worth it, for Allie. It was a perfect day yesterday, wasn't it?" He paused and looked straight ahead for a minute, and then he looked back at her and said, "All except for the part where you seemed so far away."
Julia made a sad frown then, and told him honestly. "Nathan, I don't think it was me who was far away."
He knew she was right, and looked at her sadly. "I know it was me. Forgive me, Julia. I panicked. I'm sorry."
Julia said simply, "Nathan, I would never push."
"I know that." He said, and looked down at their hands, intertwined together. He stared a long time at them and then looked up at her and said, "I want to share it all with you. I really do." He paused, seeming to find strength, and then he continued, "And I had a long talk with Joseph this afternoon. I think it really helped."
"In your own time, Nathan." And she simply smiled at him. No pressure, no question.
Met by her unconditional acceptance, he decided he didn't want to wait any longer. He wanted to open up to her now. "I want to try again...now." Nathan said simply.
"You don't have to, Nathan. Really." Julia said, fully accepting him, as much as he would give her, no matter what.
But he started talking anyway, so she sat back and listened. "Colleen was my best friend. All that we went through, we went through together. Having a father that lied, and stole, and embarrassed us over and over. Finding our Mom crying in her room, when some other family heirloom had gone missing. When he didn't come home, the not knowing if he was dead in a ditch somewhere. I guess going through hard stuff melds you together in some way. And, so Colleen and I were inseparable. We depended on each other." He paused and looked at their hands, and then back up at her. "She was such a positive person. She always encouraged me to look at the bright side. To hope. A lot like the way you have encouraged me." He paused and made a little smile at her, thankful. "I still hear her voice sometimes, reminding me to live a little or telling me that things are soon going to be looking up. Or to look on the bright side, Nate. Those were some of her signature lines." He looked strained, but Julia just waited and held his hand in both of hers.
"Our singing together was a way to make light when things were tough. We would make up songs, some of them sad, some of them funny. Some of them poking fun of our sad situation. I would play and she would come up with lyrics, and then I would add mine. It was our way to deal and cope." Nathan explained, with tears in his eyes.
"When Mom finally forbid Archie from coming home anymore, we weren't sure how to react. We were sad for him but proud of her, at the same time. It was a horrible dichotomy. He was our father and we both loved him dearly, but we were happy to be rid of him for a while. We just wanted a little peace around the house. And, until we could get our old dad back, we were better off. In my heart, I never gave up hope that the time away would help him find his way back to who he really was. Sadly, it never happened, at least not for Colleen, not while she was alive." He saw the tears in Julia's eyes now.
"After she died, I just couldn't play the guitar anymore. I just didn't have it in me. It was like the song, that we both could hear, had gone silent." Nathan looked at Julia sadly, and she held his hand steadfast and tight. He saw a lone tear trail down her cheek.
Julia smiled a sad smile, as if she understood. He didn't seem to want to say more, so she just sat with him, holding his hand.
Finally, he broke the silence. "All this doesn't scare you off?"
Julia smiled, confident of her feelings. "Not for a second."
Nathan smiled sadly back. "You are pretty great, you know that?"
"So you keep saying. But you are pretty amazing yourself." She looked down at their hands, laced tightly together, and added, "I care about you, Nathan…very deeply." She looked back up at him and let her eyes convey all the emotion she was feeling. He slowly stood and pulled her up too, and into his arms, where she fit perfectly, where she belonged.
"I care about you too, Jules, more than you realize. I want to share everything with you. And, I will get there." Nathan stated, determined. She buried her face in his chest and held him tight around his back. He enjoyed so much the feeling of her arms around him, holding him tight. Even if he was sore.
"One day at a time, remember?" She whispered near his neckline.
"Yes, one day at a time." Nathan agreed, his heart skipping a beat at her breath on his neck.
They held each other for a very long time. He shifted, and she realized he might not be able to hold that position so long, without consequences. She pulled back and looked up at him. His face seemed pained so she stepped back, and let him sit again, keeping his hand in hers.
"Nathan, you have to tell me when you are in pain." Julia chided him.
"I couldn't help myself." He smiled his crooked smile at her. "I didn't want to let go."
"Me either, but you can't overdo it today, too." Julia said gently. "Why don't we go back in and I'll heat up a warm compress for you?"
"Ok." He said reluctantly, accepting that it probably was the best idea.
They went up the stairs together and she helped him get comfortably positioned on the couch. He saw the book she had been reading, sitting on the coffee table, and picked it up. Julia went to the kitchen to prepare the warm compress. As she worked, Rebecca was just putting the finishing touches on something for the oven, that smelled amazing.
"Allie went to Emily's house to finish a school project, but should be home around 6 o'clock for dinner." Rebecca stated, and then asked her, "Julia, would you like to stay and eat with us? I made Allie's favorite…chicken pot pie."
"Well, I do love chicken pot pie." Julia smiled at her, "Are you sure it's not too much trouble?"
"Not at all, Julia. We all love having you here." Rebecca said with a smile.
Julia said, "Ok, well then, I would love to."
When the hot compress was ready, she carried it over to Nathan. He was slumped in the middle of the couch, so she motioned for him not to move. She sat gently, opened his shirt a little at the bottom, and pulled back the side. Then she set the hot compress, wrapped in a tea towel, right on his cracked ribs. He sucked in breath when she set it down, but tried not to move too much. She covered the coffee table with a blanket, and placed a pillow on top. Then she removed each of his shoes and placed his feet comfortably up on the pillow. He watched her work, and smiled at her taking care of him. When she realized he was watching at her, she smiled back.
She decided she would join him reading, but saw that he was reading the book she had earlier. So she went to the shelves and looked for another. She spotted a book of Emerson's essays and quotes and sat back down with him, but this time on his right side, just by precaution. She kicked off her Sunday shoes and tucked her feet up under her skirts. He was amused that she was making herself at home, right next to him.
They sat there next to each other reading, for a long time, which he thoroughly enjoyed. It brought his mind round to contemplate the idea of her one day living there, with he and Allie. This could be one of their regular routines, sitting on the couch reading together. And once he had that image in his head, it was hard to get it out.
Julia lowered her book for a minute, and asked him, "What did you think of Robert Frost?"
He turned his head and said, "I liked his book a lot, actually."
"Did you have a favorite from that collection, Constable?" She kept the book down to ask.
"Well, there were some very good ones. I liked Into My Own." He stated.
"That's a good one. He contemplates stealing away on a journey, a long one." She challenged.
"But, it's not literal. It's about the journey of life, right? And, how that journey didn't change who he is as a person, but only made him more so who he is." Nathan replied.
"Yes, that's what I thought too. It's about the journey we all take, when we are young, to find our true self." Julia surmised, "I love the way he uses nature and the dark forest as symbols." She paused, "Any others?"
"I also liked Tuft of Flowers. I felt the writer's sadness, right along with the butterfly, because her flowers had been cut by the scythe. He was so happy when he saw the small tuft of flowers left behind by the mower, and admires them. I think he was telling us that sometimes, we don't realize the blessing that something is, until it's gone." He concluded.
"Oh, I like your analysis. And, I also liked that he assumed that the mower had admired those flowers, and probably left the small tuft intact, on purpose. Almost like he couldn't bring himself to cut them all down. And, because it was such a pity to cut them in the first place, he left a few. And, the writer, through the common admiration of the tuft that was left behind, and the mower's compassion to leave a few, finds a kinship with the mower, even though he doesn't know him at all." She added.
"And, thus, he feels less lonely." Nathan added.
"Exactly." She said, smiling at him.
"Which one is your favorite?" Nathan asked, tilting his head at her.
"Can you guess?" She smiled coyly at him.
"It must have to with flowers." He smiled at her, knowing it would be about flowers.
Julia let a light giggle and said, "You know me too well, Constable. My favorite, from that volume, is Flower-gathering. A lot of his poems he wrote about or to his wife, who just happened to be named Elinor." She smiled, "In the poem, he goes out and picks flowers for her. But, therein lies the dilemma. She loves the flowers he brings to her and adores the romantic gesture. But at the same time, whenever he leaves her and goes on his long walks, she misses him."
"So what do you think Elinor should choose?" Nathan asked, curious, and thoroughly enjoying this discussion. "The flowers or his presence?"
"I think she should have chosen to go with him." Julia stated, wistfully. "Then she could have had both."
He thought about it, and smiled at her thinking. "But then, we wouldn't have a poem would we?"
"I guess not." She smiled back at him. "What are you reading there, in that collection of poems?"
"Shall I read it to you?" Nathan asked, playful.
"If you'd like." She answered. He gently pulled her back into him, to lean back on the right side of his chest, and rest her head on his shoulder. When she snuggled in and got comfortable, she realized how nice he smelled.
He took a deep breath and started reading.
"She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every sandy tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!" (1)
She let out a long wistful breath and didn't say anything for a long time. When she finally did, she said, "Lord Byron. Another classic."
Nathan looked at the top of her sandy head and wondered that she hadn't noticed. He rested his cheek on her hair and noticed how lovely it smelled. He kept his arm firm around her, and snuggled in a little closer to her.
Julia finally managed to focus again and said, with a little giggle, "Wait. I thought his love had raven tresses?"
"Yea, she did. I might have amended that part." He said with a soft laugh. She giggled at his cute little change, and lifted her book back up and opened it again.
"And, what are you reading?" He asked.
"Quotes from Emerson, of course." Julia answered.
"Give me a good one." Nathan told her.
She read for a few seconds to find a good one, and then recited, "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." (2)
"That one is very good, one of my favorites." Nathan smiled, "Give me another."
Julia turned the page, searched a little while, and read aloud, "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." (3)
"Another of my favorites." He chuckled. "You are picking them with purpose."
"Maybe. But could it be, Constable, that they are not only your favorites, but some of mine too?" She answered back.
"Touché. Ok, one more." He challenged.
She read through a few more and suddenly laughed, and somehow, he knew what was coming. "The earth laughs in flowers." (4)
"I thought for sure you would have read that one first." He chuckled. "But, I do like it."
She laughed softly back at him. "I'll give you one more, since that one was really for me." She paused for impact, "Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." (5)
He said, "I really like that one."
She went back to reading then, and said into her book, "I forgot to mention that your mom invited me to stay for dinner."
"Ah, so that's why you are still here. I thought it was for my company, but really it's for the chicken pot pie." He joked with her.
Julia tipped her head to look sideways over her shoulder at him, and said cutely, "Or it could be for both. But, I'll never tell."
He gave her his crooked smile, and went back to reading his book. "Well, whatever the reason, I'm happy. I'll take it."
Rebecca came back downstairs from her room, and spied them on the couch together. She smiled at how cute they looked, Julia leaning back on him and his arm around her. She was glad they had obviously worked out whatever had been going on between them. She went to the oven to have a look at the chicken pot pie. It looked lovely, so she took it out and set it on the back of the stove.
About 15 minutes later, Allie came in and caught her Dad and Julia on the couch, though they didn't budge. She smiled and walked into the kitchen to join Grams, who was just setting out the last few items on the table. Dinner was ready.
Allie walked back into the living room, and told them, "Hey you two lovebirds, dinner is ready. If you are interested in dinner, that is."
Julia turned her head, and met Nathan's gaze, and they burst out laughing. Nathan said, "Thanks, Allie, and very funny. We're coming." Julia sat up and helped him take off the compress. It was no longer even warm, and hadn't been for a long time. He closed his shirt as they stood together to come to the table.
As they all sat down together, they held hands again and Nathan blessed the food. Then Rebecca served the plates and the passed them around. It smelled wonderful and Allie was very happy about the chicken pot pie.
"Allie, it was a really fun party yesterday. Wasn't it?" Julia asked.
"It was indeed. Everything was fantastic, the food, and the people. Everyone I would have invited was there. I loved everything about it. From the peach salad, to the Happy Birthday song, to the cake!"
"Just for info, Julia made the peach salad, Allie." Nathan boasted.
"Really? It was so good. My favorite thing on the buffet." Allie complimented.
Julia stated, "It's all in the mint. It makes it so tasty, adds a freshness."
Allie continued, "It was really a good idea Rosemary had about the piano. That added some entertainment and fun. I really enjoyed singing along. And, you played really well, Julia."
"Thanks, Allie. I hadn't played in so long, but once my fingers hit the keys, I realized how much I missed it." Julia said.
Rebecca asked, "You had a piano at home, Julia?"
"Yes, it was my mother's. I still have it, actually. Jake and I kept the house in Peggy's Cove. We couldn't bear to sell it. Jake closed it up tight, boarded up the windows, and our neighbor keeps an eye on it for us. I think Jake hears from him once a month or so." Julia paused, "It was Jake's idea to keep it. He thought he might like to take holidays there when he gets enough time off. And, I can go back there too, if I ever want to, for a holiday, I mean."
Allie said, "I bet it's really pretty there. I would love to see the Atlantic."
Julia replied, "It is really pretty, Allie. It's a different kind of beautiful than here. The salt air, the sea, the huge waves crashing on the shore, the gulls and herons and egrets. It's lovely."
Rebecca said, "It sounds lovely, Julia. When's the last time you were there?"
"It's been a little more than three years. Jake went back not long after me to get some things and close it up." Julia said.
Allie asked, "Julia, how long would it take to get there from here?"
Julia thought about it, but wasn't sure. "I imagine you'd need the stage coach to Benson Hills, then the train east. Probably changing a few times, destination Halifax. Then another stage coach from Halifax to Peggy's Cove. I would guess four to five days? Maybe six? When I came west to Calgary it took me nearly four days on the train from Halifax. But that was city to city and all train."
"That's long." Allie said.
"Yea, I'd need to take a very long vacation to make it worthwhile, to go back." Julia frowned.
They all went back to eating, and then Rebecca asked, "Did you go see Sunflower this afternoon, Allie?"
Allie smiled big, "Yes I did. I can't believe I have a horse."
Julia smiled and said, "It was a really amazing gift. And, the way your Dad and Grams pulled it off, it will go down in the memory books."
Nathan added, "Well, it was mostly Grams. All I did was say yes, and negotiate with Jed, through Bill."
Rebecca piped in, "Allie, your Dad and Colleen both had horses by the time they were your age. And, we had a good year at the ranch, so I was glad we could do it." Rebecca paused, and got contemplative. "And, I know your mother would have already seen to it. So, I wanted to do it on her behalf."
Nathan added, "And, you need a horse to get around, Allie. Now, you and I can go riding, whenever we want." Nathan asked, "Did you think any more about names for her?"
"I haven't decided yet. Sunflower is starting to grow on me. But, I also like Daisy or Diana." Allie replied.
"Diana, like Anne's bosom buddy." Julia stated.
"Exactly. I also like Beauty. Like from the book Black Beauty, but since she's not black, I could just call her Beauty." Allie shared. "I really like that book, too."
"That's very nice. Beauty." Grams tried it out. "I like all your names. How to choose?"
Allie laughed, "That's why I haven't yet. Maybe the ones I don't pick, you can use for the next fillies on the ranch."
"I'll consider that, Allie." Grams suggested, "Maybe you should ride her a few times and try out some of the names. See what feels right."
Julia explained, "That's how I usually do it. Try it out and see what feels right. For a nickname, a pet name, an endearment, it all works the same- it needs to come naturally." Nathan spied her then, realizing she had not yet given him a nickname.
They had all finished eating so Allie collected the plates and took them into the kitchen. Rebecca stood and brought over dessert.
"We still have some of these lovely cookies left." Rebecca stated. Julia smiled, happy that they liked her cookies.
"Give me two, at least." Nathan said, "I love them."
"Really?" Julia asked.
"Actually, I'll take four." Nathan smiled sideways at her.
Allie laughed, took two out for her, and just passed him the whole tin. He put his arms around the tin like he was hoarding them. "All for me," he rasped like a madman and made a silly face. Julia and Allie broke out into uncontrollable giggles. He finally relented, with a contented smile, and placed the tin in the middle of the table.
Rebecca sat back and watched the three of them, and took it all in. She hoped they realized how sweet they were together.
"Hot drink, anyone?" Rebecca offered. Everyone opted for herbal tea, so Rebecca went to the kitchen to start the water boiling.
"I can help with the dishes while the water heats up." Julia offered. Allie followed her into the kitchen and they made quick work of the dinner dishes.
When the hot drinks were ready, they all sat in the living room together. They chatted cheerfully long after the tea cups were empty. Julia looked at the clock and realized it was getting late. Allie looked tired as well, and had school tomorrow.
Julia slowly looked over at Nathan and said, "I probably should get going. Allie has school tomorrow and I have a full day at the infirmary." He nodded and stood with her.
Julia said her good byes to Rebecca and Allie, and moved to the door. She picked up her medical bag, and he followed her onto the front porch.
"Good night, Nathan." She said, smiling up at him.
He reached down and took her hand, and slowly brought it up to his lips. He kept his eyes fixed on her as he placed a feather light kiss on her knuckles. She felt a long involuntary intake of breath as her stomach turned over.
"Sweet dreams, Jules." He replied. "Be careful walking home."
"I will, Nathan. See you tomorrow?" Julia whispered.
"I'm counting on it." Nathan smiled at her, and slowly let go of her hand.
Julia started down the steps and once at the bottom, looked back up at him and smiled. She started the walk back to town, unable to control the smile fixed on her face.
Credits:
Robert Frost poems from the collection A Boy's Will
1. She Walks in Beauty, poem by Lord Byron
2. Original Quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson
3. Original Quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson
4. Original Quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson
5. Original Quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson