December's challenge at Discord - use the words "snow, mistletoe and nuts"

Strange Reactions

"Here," Wes Janson, shoved a small box toward Wedge Antilles and Luke Skywalker. "This is for the upcoming Winter Fest party. "

"I'm so exicted for this party," Luke said, pulling the box toward him. "This is the first time I've ever celebrated it with actual snow. Sand might look like snow, but it's just not the same."

"Leave it to Luke to find something to be happy about on this ice-ball," Wedge muttered. "Everyone else hates it here."

"Oh, it's not that bad," Luke said cheerfully. "Those tropical planets we've had the last two bases on weren't so great. Too many spiders and snakes." He pulled the top of the box off and, frowning, reached inside and pulled out a green, leafy object with red berries. "What's this?"

"IT'S MISTLETOE!" Wedge yelled, jumping up and sending his chair crashing backwards. "Keep it away from me!"

"Why?" Luke asked, turning the innocent looking plant over and closely inspecting the object.

Wedge moved further away. "Mistletoe has a... um... bad effect on Corellians. I'm a Corellian."

"Just Corellians?" Luke questioned, puzzled.

"As far as I know."

"What does it do to you?"

Janson snickered, grabbing the mistletoe away from Luke. "It's an unrefined chemical in the plant. It makes Corellian males get rather excited."

"Excited?" Luke asked blankly.

"Excited," Wes repeated. "Lustful. Turned on."

"How much of that stuff do you have, anyway?" Wedge yelled out, now standing across the room. "You need to get rid of it. But don't burn it, whatever you do!"

"Why not?" Luke yelled back, still puzzled how a little, innocent plant could cause that much trouble.

"Then the fumes would spread all over, and if it gets inhaled..." Wedge trailed off, shaking his head. "Feed it to a tauntaun. Flush it out the refresher. Just get rid of it, and that's an order!" With that, he turned and hurried away.

"You wouldn't think that little thing would cause such a problem, would you?" Luke asked, pointing at the bright green plant in Wes' hand. "Are you going to get rid of it?"

A devious expression came over Janson's face. "Oh, yeah. I'll get rid of it, alright. And I know just where to put it, too."

Later...

The Millennium Falcon swooped down, landing inside the carved out ice chamber. Both Luke and Leia stood side by side, waiting for the ship's captain to disembark.

"I hope he remembered to bring the chocolate," Luke said, almost bouncing up and down on his toes. "It's just not Winter Fest without hot chocolate!"

"Wasn't it already hot enough in the desert without drinking hot chocolate?" Leia asked, sounding amused.

"At night it gets cold," Luke informed her. "We always waited for the suns to set, first."

Leia nodded. "I hope he found all those cookie ingredients I asked for."

"You know how to bake cookies?" Luke questioned, sounding surprised.

"What kind of question is that?"

"Oh, well... I didn't mean to offend you. Sorry."

Leia's face softened a bit. "You're right, though. I've never actually baked cookies. I watched my aunts, and they let me stir the ingredients once they were in the bowl. But I never actually baked."

"Me, neither," Luke admitted, watching as the ramp lowered. "Maybe Han will bake the cookies for us."

"It's sad, isn't it?"

"What's sad?"

"That two grown adults can't cook or bake, and we always have to rely on an egotistical smuggler to put a plate of decent food in front of our faces." Leia sighed. "I hate to have to ask him to make cookies. I know he'll make some snarky innuendo."

"Probably," Luke agreed. "So I'll ask him, and you won't have to be subjected to his lewd comments."

"Thank you. I'd appreciate that."

Luke waved as Han exited the ship, then approached the two younger people. "Miss me, Sweetheart?"

"That depends," Leia told him, narrowing her eyes. "Did you get everything on the requisition form?"

"The Alliance stuff, or the stuff on your personal wish-list?" He grinned. "And we all know that Number One on that wish-list is me, and since I'm here, everything else is irrelevant."

"In your dreams, Flyboy," Leia snapped out, pushing past the Corellian and stalking away from the ship and back toward her office.

Luke sighed. "Do you always have to make her mad?"

"Yeah, it's sorta fun."

"Did you get the ingredients?"

"Yup, almost everything."

"Almost?!" Luke gasped out. "The ... the chocolate?"

"Calm down, Kid," Han said, shaking his head. "The chocolate is there."

"Whew," Luke said with a sigh. "So what did you forget?"

"I didn't forget anything," Han snapped out. "But I couldn't find hesselnuts, so I just got a substitute nut. Peikans. Peikans taste better, anyway."

Luke nodded, not really knowing the difference. "Will you bake Winter Fest cookies for us?"

"What?" Han asked, eyes wide as he held his hand to his chest. "Me? Why me?"

"Because I don't know how, and neither does Leia." Luke turned on his best innocent, farmboy expression. "Please? You're such a good cook."

"Can it, Kid. I know fake flattery when I hear it."

Luke grinned. "I'll help you and Chewie unload all the supplies if you bake the cookies."

"Fine," Han said with a snort. "Help unload and I'll bake the damn cookies. I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal out of Winter Fest, anyway."

"It's fun. Wedge told me Corellians celebrate it, too."

"Some Corellians."

"You didn't?"

Han was quiet for a few moments as they entered the ship, pointing toward a container to remove. "It was a stupid holiday. Waste of time and money, if you ask me."

Luke suspected Han was holding back, yet again, about his real reasons. But having known the man for three years now, he also knew if he pushed Han for more information it would just make his friend get angry and closed off. So Luke just dropped the subject and helped unload the supplies.

"Hey, Luke!" Janson called out just as Luke took the first box down the ramp. "You guys need help unloading?"

Both Solo and Chewie were walking out, right behind Luke, carting more boxes. Han stopped to glare at Janson. "Why are you asking to help us?" Han questioned suspiciously. "You're always avoiding manual labor."

Janson pushed out his lower lip, pouting. "But you're supposed to have the Winter Fest supplies with you. I like to help when there's something in it for me."

"I bring back food and weapons and medical supplies all the time," Han pointed out. "You don't eat? Use a blaster? Get banged up and need a bacta bandage?"

"But those aren't fun things," Wes said, bounding up the ramp and disappearing around the corner before anyone could further question his motives.

Later that evening

Leia decided she'd overreacted once again to Han's teasing. She should be used to his vaguely off-color comments by now, and he never truly went 'over the line' with his remarks, just pushed her far enough to be annoying, without truly falling into the harassment territory. So, being the forgiving person she was, Leia decided to apologize for storming off. Not to mention that Luke had asked Han to make those delicious Alderaanian Holiday cookies, and no matter how much Han griped and complained, he managed to always come through in the end, whether it was shooting Vader off Luke's tail, or baking cookies and making hot chocolate.

Unfortunately, once Leia boarded the ship, she couldn't smell anything other than the usual odor of grease and soldered metal. She startled slightly as Han entered the cargo bay, holding a bottle of whiskey and gazing at her with an expression she couldn't quite decipher.

"Are you drinking this early in the day?"

"Haven't opened it yet," Han said quietly, stepping into her personal space and forcing her to back step and press against the wall. "Are you here for the party?"

"I... I don't see any party."

"A party of one," Han added, his voice deep and low. "Two, now. A party should always have at least two participants. Am I right?"

"Uh, where's Chewie?"

"Helping decorate the mess hall," Han replied, putting his arm up and blocking her exit. "That old Wookiee loves those holiday parties. Me? I couldn't care less. But as long as you're here, that's all that matters." He leaned forward to kiss Leia, and she quickly ducked under his arm to escape.

"What's the matter with you?" she demanded, putting her hands on her hips.

"I want you, Leia," Han rumbled out, moving much closer once again. "You want me, too. Let's stop pretending, and take this party to my berth. I even tidied it up for the occasion." He moved his hand to her waist, then upward toward her chest.

"STOP IT!" Leia shouted, grabbing his hand and twisting it away from her body. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothin's wrong with me," Han said, smirking as he put the whiskey bottle on the game table so he could hold her by using both his hands. "In fact, if you let me properly demonstrate, I'll show you what's right with me. You won't be disappointed, I guarantee it."

Feeling trapped and desperate, Leia brought up her knee, colliding with his obvious arousal.

Gasping, Han staggered backwards, clutching his groin before falling to his knees and moaning, but definitely not in pleasure.

It was at that moment that Luke rushed into the hold, his eyes wide. "Am I too late?"

"Yes..." Han croaked out.

"No," Leia snapped. "Captain Solo has worn out his welcome. He needs to leave the Alliance immediately, and I intend to file a formal complaint so he's told he has to go."

"But, but..." Luke gazed around, his eyes tracking everywhere at once, until he found what he was looking for. There, hanging discreetly up in the center of the curved entryway to the main hold, was a small green and red plant. Luke jumped, and snatched the object from its hook. "This is what's making Han so... um, forward with you, Leia."

Leia grabbed the plant from Luke's fingers. "What is this?"

"Mistletoe. Wes had one in a box, and Wedge told him to keep it away from Corellians because it made them, uh, extra uninhibited." He glanced down at the still-groaning Han Solo. "Not that Han ever needed much extra in that regards, but just being around mistletoe is like a drug that turns them on, apparently."

"So that's why Janson volunteered to help us," Han whispered out, eyes still tightly shut and watering. "I'm gonna kill him."

"You can't kill him," Luke said. "High Command really will make you leave."

"Only after they give me another medal," Han gasped, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. "I hate Winter Fest."

"You're not going to report Han, are you?" Luke asked worriedly.

Leia sighed. "No, now that I know there was a reason for his bad behavior. Good night, Captain. You might want to put an ice-pack on your privates."

"Thanks for the advice, Princess," Han called after her as she left.

The next morning, a sheepish Han Solo took a seat in the mess hall next to Luke and Leia. "Sorry about last night. I was a real jerk, and I stayed up making you your special cookies as an apology." He pushed a small, covered plate in her direction.

Smiling, Leia took off the cover and gave a happy sigh. "They look delicious. Thank you! " She handed one to Luke before quickly taking a bite, then wolfing down the entire cookie.

"Do they taste okay?" Han asked, looking concerned.

"Yes, they're wonderful," Leia said as Luke nodded in agreement. "But..."

"But, what?"

"They taste just a bit different than the ones my aunts used to make. Not bad different, just different."

"Well, I couldn't find the right kind of nut, so I had to substitute out hesselnuts and use peikans, instead. Peikans are just as good, though, don't you agree?"

Leia jumped up, eyes wide with shock. "WHAT?"

"I said..."

"I heard you!" Leia screeched out. "Peikans? You used peikans? I'm allergic to peikans!"

"You are?" Han asked, totally surprised. "You've never told me that!"

"What happens to you?" Luke asked the Princess in concern.

"I get all purple and blotchy and I start itching all over my body!" Leia yelled, starting to scratch at her arms. "It's happening already!"

"Maybe you should go to the infirmary," Han suggested.

"Yeah," Luke added, standing up. "I'm itching, too. We probably both should go."

"You're BOTH allergic to peikans?!" Han asked, sounding stunned. "How is that even possible?"

"I don't know, but apparently we both are!" Leia shot back hotly. "Thanks for nothing, you... you... nerf herder!"

With that, both Luke and Leia hurried out of the mess hall toward the sick bay, leaving Han sitting alone with the plate of cookies. Solo picked one off the dish, and slowly ate it.

"I hate holidays," Han muttered under his breath, before eating the remaining cookies.

THE END