Hey there everyone! I'm here with the next chapter for you all, and I hope you like it.
Before we get into it, I want to let you all know that I'm gonna be heading out of town today for a few weeks, and I'm not sure what my updates will look like while I'm gone, kind of like the last time I wasn't around back in November. And I mentioned this in the I Won't Let You Go update on Monday, but I wanted to let you all know here, too. I'm gonna be gone for a little bit into February, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to get any writing done in that time. I'm gonna try, but I can't promise anything so I just wanted to let you know.
That's pretty much all I've got though, thanks for reading this one everyone. I can't wait to hear your thoughts, and I'll see you all next time (which hopefully won't be too long).
ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT
"That was my sister… She wants to see me."
For just a moment it felt like all the air got sucked out of the room, Gabby's eyebrows furrowing deeply as Matt mirrored her look of confusion, the paramedic's mouth opening and closing a few times while she tried to figure out what to say. But she was coming up blank, her mind suddenly unable to form one single thought as Casey slowly began to shake his head.
"She wants to see me." He repeated once more, like he was saying it more for himself than anything else as his eyes moved down towards his phone, Gabby forcing herself to take a deep breath before following his line of sight.
"She does?" She questioned, her voice sounding unlike her own as her words caught in her throat, Matt nodding softly while his finger moved over the screen. "And she just…called you out of nowhere?" Dawson pushed after regaining more of herself, her fiancé nodding once more before glancing her way, Gabby seeing the obvious hesitation in his gaze.
And she couldn't blame him for it being there.
"...What about?" She asked carefully, knowing they were treading into uncertain waters, and things Matt didn't know about as he pursed his lips together before tapping his thumb against the screen.
'Hey Matt… I know it's, uh-... It's been a long time. And I'm not sure if you were expecting this call or not, but I heard about your engagement. And your wedding that's coming up, and I wanted to say congratulations… But I also called because I- I was thinking we could get together one day, maybe for lunch, if you want. To catch up and everything, cause clearly there's a lot that's happened since we last saw each other.. But just let me know, and I'll… I'll talk to you later. Bye Matt.'
Dawson swallowed hard as she listened to the voicemail the older Casey sibling left, her focused eyes locked on the phone in his hands while Matt kept his attention on her, waiting for any sort of reaction.
"That's… wow." Gabby breathed out, taking a step closer to him as Casey slowly nodded. "I don't even know what to say."
"Me neither." He agreed, that same hesitation even more present now as the weight of Christie's voicemail hung in the air between them. "I… I wasn't expecting to hear from her. Ever. But especially not now. I mean, I thought she hated me for what my mom did, and I don't even know how she found out about our engagement." Gabby's back tightened for a split second before forcing herself to relax, Matt not even noticing her reaction before he continued on. "I guess my mom must've called her?" He questioned, though he wasn't expecting an answer. "I never thought they'd talk to each other again, but since Christie knows about the wedding they must've."
Dawson held her tongue while he continued to go over all of this, her eyes falling closed for a moment as she fought against this internal battle within herself.
He needed to know. She needed to tell him it was her that had gone behind his back to Christie and told her about their wedding. Who had invited her to their wedding, he needed to know it was her, not Nancy. And now that Christie had reached out, she couldn't keep it from him any longer as that familiar nauseous feeling began to creep back into her system at the idea of hiding something from him.
But no words ever came out, uncertainty still bubbling in her system as she watched Matt shake his head, like he was still trying to wrap his mind around this.
"And I- I'm not even sure what she wants." He continued on after taking a second to gather his thoughts, Dawson forcing herself to take a breath before she refocused her attention on him. "But she didn't sound mad, or upset… Don't you think?" He questioned, like he needed her reassurance as Gabby immediately began to shake her head.
"No, no she sounded good." She replied after clearing her throat, her words earning a small smile from Matt before he nodded.
"Yeah, I thought so too… Whatever caused her to call, it does sound like she does actually want to see me, and I never thought that would happen. Not with how we left things." He continued on, Gabby's face falling slightly as she couldn't help but feel bad over his statement. "But… I don't know, I just still can't believe this." He finished with an abrupt shake of his head, before bringing his hand up to rub over the side of his face, Matt's uncertainty causing a heavy weight to settle in her stomach as she was starting to second guess the choice she'd made.
"...This could be a good thing though, right?" She asked him, almost hopefully as he met her gaze. But the look in his eyes gave her nothing to go on, Gabby swallowing thickly as with each passing second she felt more and more unsure in her decision to reach out to Christie.
She thought she was doing the right thing, that she was doing what Matt wanted. But now standing here with him and seeing how much this had all thrown him, a part of her felt like maybe she'd only made all of this worse. And that was the last thing she ever wanted.
"No, yeah it is." He answered her after a brief pause, Gabby letting out a relieved breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding before she nodded. "It's a good thing, I think-" He stopped himself, before resting his weight down against the table behind him, his movement prompting Dawson to step closer to him. "It will be a good thing… I know we talked about me wanting to see her, and for her to be at our wedding. But I never thought she'd even consider it. And I'm not sure what all she wants to talk about so she still might not, I don't know. But her reaching out is good, it's a good thing." He rambled out, Matt just getting every thought he had out of his mind as he knew he could say anything to her without judgement. "I'm glad she called, and it'll be nice to see her, I just… It's the last thing I was expecting."
Gabby nodded once more with a sad, yet understanding look in her eye before she reached out to rub her hand soothingly over his arm, the action calming Casey almost instantly while he glanced her way.
"So you're gonna go?" She asked him, her wording deliberate as she didn't want him to feel pressured into doing this. Even though he missed his sister, and wanted to reconnect with her, he'd been completely blindsided by this. Blindsided because she never told him, so now all she could do was make sure he was choosing the best decision for himself.
"...I am." He answered after a thoughtful moment, Matt watching as a small smile formed over her lips before she gave him an encouraging nod. "And I don't know, I'm still not sure what I'm feeling right now, but I do know that I'd like to see her."
"Then you should definitely go." She continued to assure him, her hand moving up towards his head before brushing her fingers through his short hair, the movement always one that calmed him in the past. "I know how much you want to try and fix things with her, and with your family. And this may be your chance to do that, or to at least try. So if this is what you want, then I think you should go… Because if nothing else, I think it would be good for you to do this."
He nodded slowly before a small smile came to his lips, that assurance and comfort from Gabby helping him more than anything else could as he reached out to wrap his arm around her waist, effectively pulling her closer. Dawson gave into the movement, her arms circling around him as Matt leaned his head down against her shoulder, his weight resting against the table making him the perfect height to hold onto her as Gabby tightened her grip on him.
"Thank you." He murmured after a moment, Dawson smiling sadly before she placed a soft, sweet kiss to his head. "For always being here, and for always knowing what to say, just- thank you."
Her eyes fell closed for a moment, Gabby's hand moving slowly up and down the side of his arm while she felt him dig deeper into her embrace, their moment surely drawing the attention of everyone out in the common room. But she didn't bother to look, her focus solely on Matt as she pressed another kiss to his head.
"I love you, baby." She whispered, Gabby practically able to feel his smile before he let himself relax even more into her, both of them falling quiet as they thought over everything that had just happened in the last ten minutes.
This was a good thing. Gabby knew it was. She wholeheartedly believed what she said to him, that this was something Matt needed to do, for himself. And she never would've told him that had she thought otherwise.
But despite that she couldn't get rid of the sinking feeling in her stomach, Gabby knowing that while it was good that Christie had finally decided to reach out to him, he was still in the dark about how it happened.
And she didn't want him to be. Not anymore.
Which meant she had to tell him.
"Babe, have you seen my belt?" Matt's voice filtered into the bathroom as Gabby stood in front of the mirror with a towel wrapped around her body, the woman rubbing the last of her lotion onto her arms before glancing out towards the bedroom. "I can't find it anywhere."
A soft smirk fell onto her lips as she almost immediately caught a glimpse of what he was looking for, the item hanging up over their bathroom door as Gabby shook her head lightly before leaning her weight up against the counter.
"Come here, baby." She called back, crossing her arms over her chest as she heard him shuffling around in their bedroom before he appeared in the doorway moments later, the sight of his somewhat disheveled appearance causing her smile to widen.
His unbuttoned pants were hanging off his hips, his navy blue button down left open as well as it was clear he still had some things to do to get ready for the day, Matt's easy gaze finding hers before he raised her eyebrows.
"You know where it is?" He questioned, seeing the amused gleam that appeared in her eyes before she nodded up past him.
"Look up." She prompted, Matt following her gaze to see his belt hanging right in front of him, a near sheepish look covering his face before he reached up to grab it.
"Thank you." He replied with a slight smirk, Gabby laughing softly before she turned her body back towards the mirror and reached for her moisturizer.
"Mhmm… Though maybe if you put it away in the closet instead of leaving it where it's not supposed to be, you'd be able to find it." She chastised gently, Matt's smile only growing as he started to walk towards her while putting his belt on.
"You know, you may be onto something with that." He teased back, Gabby scoffing playfully before she continued on with her routine of getting ready in the morning, a soft silence falling over them while Matt moved closer to her.
She could see him come up behind her through the mirror, her fiancé standing just off to the side of her while he got his pants and belt secured into place, before he started working on his shirt. But it wasn't so much his movements that she was focused on, as it was the thoughtful look that she could see in his eyes. One she couldn't quite get a read on, before he snapped out of whatever he was thinking about and caught her gaze seconds later.
"...You feeling okay?" She asked him after a moment, Matt offering her a soft, yet somewhat weak smile before he nodded.
"I'm alright. A little nervous about today…" He trailed off, seeing a knowing look soon covering Gabby's face before she turned around towards him. "I'm not even sure why, I probably shouldn't be."
"It's okay to be nervous." She assured him, her weight leaning back against the counter while he took a steadying breath. "I know she's your sister, but you're about to see her for the first time in years. After things had been pretty hard between you two… There's nothing wrong with feeling the way you are." She promised, Matt looking her over for a moment, almost like he was trying to make sure she wasn't lying for his benefit, before he nodded.
A part of him knew Gabby was right, that it was okay for him to feel a bit apprehensive at the idea of seeing, and really talking, to his sister for the first time in a long time. Especially given how they left things, some nerves were normal. But that didn't mean he had to like that feeling, as even though they were- hopefully, about to make some progress in mending their strained relationship, he hated the reminder of how broken his family was.
"But no matter how you're feeling right now, I think today is gonna go well." She continued on when he had yet to say anything, Matt meeting her eyes once more to find a supportive look waiting for him. "And it'll be good for the both of you, to get some time together… Plus, you said that your all's conversation the other day went okay, right?" She reminded him, Matt sucking in a slow breath before he nodded.
Though it was brief, he and Christie had spoken for a few moments shortly after he'd missed her first call. Once he and Gabby broke apart in the conference room, he had stepped out to try and call her back, the siblings then speaking for the first time in years as they figured out the plans to see one another.
Their conversation was a little awkward, and somewhat unsure, there being apprehension on both sides as they didn't want to get into too much over the phone. But overall it went well. And even though they hadn't talked about much, it was nice to hear from her, the estranged siblings talking long enough to figure out when and where to meet up as they'd decided on a small diner just outside the city. One that was about halfway in between them, as now not even two days later Matt was getting ready to go and see her.
"Yeah, it did." He finally vocalized, Gabby offering him a genuine smile before she nodded.
"So I'm sure everything will be fine today, too… It's okay to be nervous about this, and I'm sure it will be hard at times, but I know how much you want to fix things with your sister. And her reaching out, willing to do this, makes me think she wants to try and mend things, too." She encouraged, giving Matt those last few words he needed before he nodded once more.
"Yeah, you're probably right." He told her, Dawson grinning back at him before he leaned in for a quick kiss. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." She replied softly, her hand resting over his cheek as they shared a few more kisses before he pulled back. "Now you should probably get going, so you're not late." Gabby spoke, Matt drawing in a deep breath as he nodded, his hand lingering over her side before he started to take a few steps backwards.
"I am… But you're sure you don't want to come?" He questioned, like he had a few times since he and Christie had made their plans, Gabby's breath catching in her throat for a moment before she looked his way, seeing nothing but a gentle smile resting across his face. "It might help… having a buffer. And I'd love for you to meet her."
Dawson's face fell slightly as she felt a pang of guilt strike through her chest. That same guilt she'd been feeling ever since that day in the conference room, as Matt still had no idea that she had been the one to reach out to Christie.
She meant to tell him. Ever since that phone call, she had every intention of telling him. She was just waiting for the right time.
But that time never came.
It didn't feel right talking about it on shift, not when they'd been slammed with calls most of that afternoon, with the possibility of being pulled right back out at any moment. She just didn't feel like that was the best place to have that conversation, as it wasn't as simple as just telling him she'd gone to see Christie. This wasn't just something she could drop on him, not when he'd- rightfully- want to know what all happened and what all was said between them. And that wasn't even taking into consideration how he'd feel about her doing this without him knowing.
So she'd decided to wait. Until they were both home, and could have time to sit down without any possible interruptions. But that chance never came either, as Matt spent practically the entire day yesterday once they got off shift over at a construction job, while Gabby was out with her mom running some errands for the wedding.
They had hardly seen each other, and once they were finally home it didn't feel like the right time, either. Which had led them to today, to this moment right now, as Matt was about to leave to meet his sister and he still didn't know she'd been the one to contact her.
And now she wasn't sure she could tell him. Not moments before he would be going. But she desperately wanted to.
"Gabby?"
His voice snapped her from her thoughts, her eyebrows knitting together momentarily as she tried to regain a sense of her surroundings before she met his eyes, seeing a questioning looking shining back at her. Plastering a small smile onto her face, she shook her head slightly, Gabby crossing her arms over her chest before she spoke up.
"Sorry, sorry I was just thinking for a minute." She told him, Gabby knowing immediately that he didn't necessarily buy her lame attempt at an excuse. But he left it alone. "But, uh- As much as I would love to come, I think this should just be you two." She finally answered him, seeing him purse his lips together before he nodded. "This is your thing, and it's been so long since you've seen your sister, I think it should just be you." She finished, Casey breathing in deeply as he thought over her words.
"Yeah, you're probably right."
"But if you need anything at all, you know where I am." She reminded him, Matt giving her a gentle smile before he nodded.
"I do." He agreed, winking softly before taking another step back. "I'm gonna get the rest of my stuff together, and then head out of here." He told her, earning a nod from his fiancée before her bottom lip fell between her teeth, a bit of uncertainty filling the air as he started to leave the bathroom.
But he didn't get very far before Gabby's voice stopped him.
"Matt?" She called, Casey turning his head back around to look at her, his eyebrows furrowing when he found what he could only describe to be a pensive look written across her face. "There's something I need to…" She trailed off, tightening her arms around herself before her eyes moved towards the ground, his interest piquing as he had no idea what was going on in her head.
But he wanted to find out.
"What is it?" He pushed softly, seeing her draw in a slow breath before she met his gaze once more, Gabby now masking whatever it was she was feeling as she plastered a grin onto her face. But it was one he noticed didn't meet her eyes.
"...I hope everything goes well."
His head tilted to the side a bit, as a part of him knew there was likely something she was holding back. He could sense it in the way she was acting, but he didn't have time to press on it now as he simply smiled back at her before he nodded.
"Thanks baby… I'll see you later." He finished, the couple watching each other for one last lingering moment before Matt disappeared into the bedroom, leaving Gabby alone with nothing but her thoughts as they went their separate ways for the morning.
Casey sat in a booth up beside one of the many windows in the unfamiliar diner, the man tapping his finger softly against the side of his coffee mug while he waited for his sister. He was a little early, probably too early, but he'd kind of planned it that way given he wasn't entirely sure where he was going. This wasn't a part of town he got out to very often, and the last thing he wanted was to risk being late. Not for this.
Blowing out a soft sigh, Matt brought the drink up to his lips before taking a long sip, his eyes bouncing around the somewhat empty diner as there were just a handful of other customers here. Though with it being later in the morning that wasn't entirely surprising, Casey continuing to take in his surroundings while he waited for his sister to arrive.
But he wasn't left waiting for very long, as within maybe five minutes he heard the chime of the door opening, Matt glancing that way to see Christie step in through the door, clearly a bit unsure. She looked around for a few moments, Casey swallowing thickly before he pushed himself up out of the booth, the movement gaining her attention before she started to head his way.
She looked different than he remembered, while somehow looking exactly the same as Matt would recognize his older sister anywhere, the two catching each other's gazes yet again while she took those last few cautious steps towards him.
"...Hi Matt." She greeted softly, Casey giving her a small smile before he spoke up.
"Hi Christie." He repeated, Matt forcing himself to take a deep breath as he leaned in to give her a hug.
He caught her off guard for a moment, but she soon recovered before starting to hug him back, the smile never leaving his face as basked in the feeling of seeing his sister for the first time in years. It was a bit strange, as neither of them could ignore the time that had passed, or all that had happened between them and their family. But right now Matt wasn't focused on that, not when he was finally getting to see his sister again.
"It's been a long time." He spoke once they pulled away, Christie nodding slightly while they sat back down in the booth, the waitress coming over to give the older Casey sibling a cup of coffee before she walked away once more.
"It has." Christie replied before an uncertain quiet started to hang over them, neither one of them entirely sure where to go from here as there was so much between them that had been left undealt with.
"So, how's Violet been?" Casey asked after a couple long moments, not wanting the silence to continue any longer as Christie glanced up from her cup of coffee before offering him a small smile.
"She's doing well." She answered, the topic of her daughter helping to lighten things around them as Matt straightened his back out against his seat. "She's off for summer break right now, but she's been loving school." She continued on, Matt's smile widening as he listened to her boast about his niece.
And the conversation carried on for about ten minutes or so, Matt catching up on not only everything with Violet, but with Christie as well, his older sister going through some of the major events in her life over the past couple years, along with giving him what all had been going on more recently. And while there was nothing too life changing that had been happening, it was nice to hear about her life. To have the chance for her to let him in on some of the things he'd missed out on since they last spoke. And as the minutes ticked by, the siblings were becoming more and more at ease around one another, which was exactly what Matt had been hoping for.
"Yeah, I've been there for a few years now." Christie said, while she continued to talk about her work, Matt listening with a soft grin before he took another drink. "And it's been good. It's a decent job, and it gives me flexibility with Violet which is always good."
"It is." He echoed, Christie matching his look before she spoke up.
"That's pretty much all that's been going on with me, though… What about you? How's everything been going? Work and all?" She asked him, while Matt slid his coffee cup back a few inches. "I mean, I've heard about the big thing going on…" She trailed off, Casey unable to stop his grin from widening before he started to nod, Christie not missing how giddy her little brother got at just the sheer mention of his upcoming wedding.
"Yeah, well.. Things have been good." He replied with a laugh. "Work is going great, at the firehouse and my construction. I've been getting a lot over the summer, which is nice.. To save up, you know." He told her, Christie nodding understandingly. "...And then the engagement."
Christie began to match his smile as he spoke, Matt ducking his head a bit while his hand came up to rub over the back of his neck. "Yeah, finding out about that was a bit of a shock if I'm being honest." She told him, Matt giving her a nod as the mood around them started to shift. "I didn't realize you were seeing someone else, that you and Hallie ended things."
Casey swallowed the lump in his throat, his leg beginning to shake up and down as he gave her a sturdy nod. "We did. A while ago."
"What happened there?" She questioned before she could stop herself, though she backed off once she saw the almost immediate grimace that covered his features. "...We don't have to talk about it, I know you and I aren't…" She stopped herself, shaking her head a bit before rephrasing. "I just mean we don't have to talk about what happened between you two if you don't want to." She tried to back peddle, Matt leaning his head from side to side before he spoke up.
"It's fine, it's just-" He cut himself off, Casey taking a second to clear his throat. "All of that, I've moved on from it, and her. A long time ago.. But those memories aren't exactly pleasant." He prefaced, seeing a flicker of sadness flash in Christie's eyes. "But Hallie, her and I split because she cheated on me."
Christie's face fell, the older sister immediately beginning to shake her head while her hands clasped together in her lap.
"She had been cheating on me, I guess is the better way to put it… For a while, before I ever found out. With one of my firefighters." The unsettled look on Christie's face deepened, it nearly impossible for her to hide her shock and pity as Matt drew in a slow breath. "And that was going on for a bit, more than I realized… Then she ended up getting pregnant." He continued on, Christie feeling a sharp pain going through her at the idea of how hurt her brother must've been.
Not only for that to happen, but knowing how much Matt always wanted kids; for his wife to get pregnant with another guy, she could only imagine how devastating that was for him. And sitting here now, she wished she had been there to help him. But she wasn't, and there was nothing she could do to change that.
"So we got a divorce… As far as I know, Hallie is still with him. And their child. But yeah, that's the short version of what happened."
"Matt, I'm…" She started, Christie almost at a loss for words. "I'm so sorry."
Casey gave her a shrug, before a weak smile appeared over his lips. "It is what it is. Like I said, I've made peace with it and moved on… I haven't forgiven her for what she did, but I also just don't care anymore." He explained to her, his words earning an almost proud look from his sister. "And looking back on it, us ending things was probably the best thing that could've happened to me."
Christie's eyebrows raised slightly, Matt matching her look before he continued.
"I wish it didn't happen the way it did, but after it all went down and we went our separate ways… it made me realize that Hallie and I were never going to work." He started once more, having his sister's complete attention. "We just weren't right for each other. I don't think we ever were, and had it not been her cheating it would've been something else that ended up tearing us apart. Neither of us were happy, we were just too scared to say it." He continued to explain, the words coming easier than he expected as he found himself wanting to confide in his sister. Just like he used to.
"And if not for everything that happened, I wouldn't have Gabby." He spoke, his eyes lighting up the second he said her name while Christie noticed the hint of genuine joy in his features. "All of that mess, it led me to Gabby. And had Hallie and I not split, I probably never would've met her… I wouldn't be with her, about to marry her, and I wouldn't be as happy as I am now." He finished, Matt nearly beaming while he spoke of his soon-to-be wife.
"Gabby.." Christie repeated, Casey's smile widening before he nodded.
"Gabby. Gabriela, yeah." He said, holding his hands together on the table in front him. "My fiancée.. She's just- she's absolutely incredible." He continued on, Christie's head falling to the side slightly as she looked over her little brother.
"You really love her, don't you?" She asked, Matt's eyebrows furrowing for a moment before he answered her.
"More than anything." He answered without the slightest bit of hesitation. "She's… She's everything to me, she's my world. I would be lost without her." He continued on, the words coming before he could even think about stopping this as Christie kept her eyes trained on him. "Gabby has made me the happiest I've ever been in my entire life."
"I'm glad to hear that, Matt." She replied softly. "Really, I am… Even though I didn't know about her until recently, I'm so glad that you have Gabby. That you two are happy, and that you're doing well." She spoke, the sincerity in her voice hitting him harder than he anticipated. "And I'm glad we did this, too… Coming to see each other."
His grin widened for a moment, before he nodded in agreement. "Me too, Christie… I didn't really ever think this would happen, after everything." He told her, seeing her nod slowly. "But I'm so glad you called and that we did this… And I'm glad you and mom were able to patch things up enough to talk."
His last few words threw her for a minute, a look of deep confusion appearing across her features as she leaned forward in her seat. "What do you mean?" She questioned, Matt gradually beginning to mimic her uncertainty as his eyebrows knitted together.
"You talked to mom, yeah?" He asked her, Christie no less confused as Matt cleared his throat. "I'm assuming she called you, that's why you reached out and how you knew about the wedding." He continued on, realization slowly starting to spread through her system before her face softened, the far away look in her eyes not going unnoticed by her younger brother. "...What?"
Christie hesitated for a moment, unsure of what exactly she was stepping into here. But given the whole reason why she was here, she felt like they couldn't just brush past this. "Matt, I haven't spoken to mom. In a long time." She clarified, seeing more and more confusion beginning to settle over his face. "She's not the one who told me about your wedding, or who wanted me to call you… I don't think I could tell you the last time she and I spoke."
It took him a few seconds to truly understand what she was saying, though her statement gave him no clarity as his head fell to the side slightly. "Then how did you know I was getting married?" He pushed, Christie pressing her lips together while she thought over how to best respond. "Christie…"
"I guess she really meant what she said." She muttered under her breath, Matt leaning forward slightly as he waited for her to explain, the older sister letting out a heavy sigh before she spoke up. "Gabby told me."
Her words were sudden, enough to nearly knock Matt back as he only became more and more unsure with every passing second. And once she saw that, Christie knew she needed to keep going.
"She came to see me a couple weeks ago, told me about you all and the wedding… That you wanted to see me, and you wanted me there. But because of everything that had happened between us, and mom, that you weren't going to reach out." She elaborated, Matt doing what he could to work through those shocked feelings coursing through his system while listening to Christie. "But I guess since you do want me there, Gabby decided to come and see me. To tell me that… She came to see me for you." She finished, Matt's face tight as he did what he could to digest all of this. But it was a little difficult, as this was the last thing he'd been expecting to hear today.
"I- I don't even know what to say, she didn't…"
"Tell you, I know." Christie finished for him, that only stunning him further as Casey met her gaze once more. "She said she wasn't going to."
"Why?" Matt blurted out, watching his older sister taking a few steadying breaths before responding.
"...Because she knew how badly it would hurt you if I decided not to come."
His eyes fell closed as her words washed over him, a rush of conflicting emotions filling him as he wasn't sure which one to follow. And he probably wouldn't for a while.
"She was looking out for you, that's why she told me she wasn't going to say anything. Cause she knew my decision would affect you, and she didn't want that." Christie explained once more, as Matt continued to take in all of this. "And I'm not trying to get in the middle of anything here between you two… I just wanted you to know, because I didn't want you thinking I had spoken to mom when I hadn't. This had nothing to do with mom."
Something flickered in his eyes the moment she said that, Christie watching him closely as she tried to get a read on what was going on in his head. But after so many years apart, that wasn't so easy anymore.
"You alright?" She asked him when he had yet to say anything, Matt pausing for a moment before he nodded.
"I'm fine… Just thinking." He answered, though his words didn't tell her much as she waited for him to say more. "I'm still just trying to wrap my mind around all of this, and Gabby going to see you…"
"I don't want you to be mad at her, Matt." She all but interjected, the somewhat urgent tone in her voice catching him off guard. "She was just trying to help you, and us… And she kind of handed my ass to me in the process." She added on, Casey unable to stop the soft laugh that left his lips at the image.
"Yeah, I'm not surprised." He murmured, Christie giving him a small smile before she continued.
"But really, I hope this doesn't cause any problems with you two… I know I didn't have that much time with her, but Gabby seems great. She seems good for you. I mean, I only spent half an hour with her and I can already tell there isn't anything she wouldn't do for you. She was fighting so hard for you, and what you wanted… She's the only reason I'm even here right now, so don't be mad at her."
Matt immediately shook his head, his hand waving in the air slightly as he spoke up. "I'm not, not at all." He assured her, Christie smiling weakly before she nodded. "I wish she told me, but I understand why she didn't… So I'm not mad at her, it's not that." He finished, Christie giving him a slow nod before speaking up.
"Then what is it?" She pressed, seeing her little brother almost force himself to take a breath before he shrugged slightly.
"It's… Since you called me and I thought you found out from mom, there was a part of me that was thinking- or hoping, I guess, that since you two had talked, you'd feel okay coming to the wedding and want to be there." He admitted, Christie's face falling as he began to shake his head. "That's all, it's not a big deal I just didn't know."
"It's not that I don't want to be there, Matt." She was quick to tell him, her voice causing him to look back her way. "Because I do… As soon as Gabby came to me, and I found out you wanted me there, I knew I wanted to come. It has nothing to do with that, I just… Everything with mom." She sighed, Matt's eyes closing once more before his head hung down towards the table, the brother painfully aware of how this conversation was about to go.
And just for a moment, he found himself starting to regret coming here.
"I haven't forgiven her Matt… Believe me, I've tried." She breathed out, as he shook his head. "So many times I've just wanted to forget all of it, and get our family back together but every time I think of what happened and what caused us to be here… I just get so angry, and I haven't been able to let that go." She explained to him, seeing that same unreadable expression reappear in his eyes. "I know she's back in your life now, and that you two have fixed things between you but I just… I can't forgive her, for what she did."
"And I'm not asking you to." He responded, his tone almost bitter as Christie pursed her lips together. "I'm not asking you to forgive her, I have never asked you to do that." He reminded her, seeing the almost sad look in his sister's eyes before she nodded. "I just thought… I don't know, I hoped that you and her would be able to put it aside so you could come to my wedding. But I understand if you can't do that, I know what mom did affected all of us, it's the entire reason I wasn't going to say anything in the first place." He told her, Matt swallowing thickly as he leaned back slightly, the action inadvertently putting some distance between them.
"Mom and I… We're never going to be fine. I accepted that a long time ago. But I don't want to miss your wedding, Matt… Not when it's important to you."
"Yeah, but I also have the feeling that you don't want to be there if she is." He countered, Christie biting her tongue as she knew she didn't have much room to argue. "It would have to be one of you, and I… I just don't want mine and Gabby's day to turn into something ugly." He spoke honestly, his words going straight through her before she reluctantly nodded.
"That day is for me, and for Gabby, and I don't want everything going on with our family to ruin that." He continued on. "Of course I want you there, Christie. Gabby wasn't lying when she said that, because I do. I would love to have you and Violet there, and for us to start working on getting back so much of what we've lost… But I can't do that alone. It can't be just me." He told her, a heavy feeling of emotion settling in the air around them as Christie clenched her jaw together. "And all of this… I know you've spent so much time hating mom, and hating me for what happened and the fallout from it. And I'm not saying you're wrong to feel the way you do, but there's a lot of pent up hurt there. From all of us… That we've never dealt with." He spoke bluntly, Matt voicing the words they'd both been too afraid to say since they got here.
"There's a lot we'd need to work through, and I'd like for us to. I really would, I'd love for us to get past this. And I'd want nothing more than to have my sister, and my niece, back in my life.. But that's not something I can force you into. And I don't want my wedding- mine and Gabby's wedding, to be the place where you decide whether or not you want to be back in my life, too." He breathed out, doing what he could to keep his voice strong despite what he was feeling inside. "So if you think you're ready to try and work past everything that's happened between us- just us, not mom. But you and me, if you feel ready for that then I want you there… But if you don't, then I think it's best you don't come. And we just leave it here."
His chest was near heaving by the time he finished, Matt needing a moment to catch his breath as his words ran through her mind, over and over again. While some of them may have been more direct than he intended, he didn't regret what he'd said, as it was something both of them needed to hear.
He just wasn't sure if Christie would be very receptive to it, knowing she hardly ever had been in the past. And she wasn't giving him much to go off of now, but he stood his ground, Matt continuing to watch her closely while he waited for her to say something.
"...Okay."
His eyebrows furrowed after she spoke, Matt leaning his head forward slightly as the siblings locked eyes.
"Okay?" He questioned back when she had yet to give him anything more
"You're right… Everything you just said, you're right." She continued on, Casey's defenses starting to fall down as he clenched his hands together. "Your wedding, that doesn't need to be about what happened to our family. It shouldn't be about my feelings towards mom… And that's something Gabby told me when she came to see me, I just didn't want to hear it at the time. But she was right." Christie started, as a small smile tugged on Matt's lips when she spoke of what Gabby had done for him. "Cause she told me that regardless of my issues with mom, this isn't about me. Or about her… It's about you. You and Gabby, and your wedding. And the last thing I'd ever want to do is ruin that for you."
Matt drew in another breath, the younger brother offering her a small smile before he nodded. "Thank you, Christie." He spoke, even though he still wasn't entirely sure where this was taking them. But he felt better than he had moments prior.
"There's nothing to thank me for… But I do need you to know that I never hated you, Matt." She told him, his earlier words clearly sticking with her as she shook her head almost roughly. "And I'm sorry I made you feel like I did, but I don't. I never have… I was just hurt. But after talking with Gabby, and having some time to think about it, I've realized that I was taking that hurt out on the wrong person." She said, her soft voice almost hard to hear. "I was putting my anger towards mom on you, and that wasn't fair, and I'm sorry."
"It's okay… Really." Matt promised her, the man hesitating for a moment before he reached across the table to grab her hand, Christie accepting it easily as she gave him a soft smile. "We both messed things up here, it wasn't just on one person."
"Yeah, I guess not. Though I still made things harder than they needed to be… But I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to miss out on any more time away from my brother." She spoke surely, Matt smiling wide back at her before he nodded in agreement. "And I know all of this can't be fixed in one day. There are things we have to work through, and navigating everything with mom will be… hard. But I want to try." Christie told him, those simple words flooding his chest with warmth as a hint of surprise flickered in his eyes. "With you and me, I want us to try… Starting with your wedding."
Casey's smile grew even wider, the brother letting out a soft laugh before giving her hand a squeeze. "So that means…?"
"I'll be there." She replied with a bright grin, tears gathering in both their eyes as this turning point in their relationship was something they'd been waiting for for so long. They just never thought it would happen.
But now it had. And they refused to take it for granted.