Chapter Two - Severus' Mission
Trigger warning: Abuse, Cutting and Depression
After a long day of brewing potions for Madam Pomfrey's potion store for the next school year, Severus Snape had retired to a cup of tea and a potions book. He was just starting to read the first line when his fireplace glowed green and the face of Albus Dumbledore appeared in the flames.
"And what do I owe the pleasure for a social call at this time of hour?" Severus drawled as he reluctantly put down his book.
"Severus, how have you been fairing this summer? I hope you're enjoying your holidays."
"Skip the pleasantries, Albus, and indulge me on the details of my next useless mission for the Order," Severus snapped, annoyed that his quiet evening was interrupted.
"Ah, Severus, let's hope this one is useless and Petunia is worried over nothing," Albus said somberly, the twinkling in his blue eyes disappeared.
"Petunia?" Severus echoed the name in confusion. "Petunia as in Lily's...?"
"Yes, Lily's sister and the guardian of Harry Potter."
"What's wrong with the Potter brat now? Is he not getting enough attention from his fan club?" Severus said, scowling at the mention of his least favorite student, shaking away the mental image of Potter's insolent face in his mind.
"I have just received a letter from Petunia Dursley. She claims that Harry has been having nightmares every night since the beginning of the summer holidays. He doesn't eat and she's found cuts, Severus…"
"She found cuts? As in due to self-harm?" Severus asked, his spark of anger and annoyance washing away at the word cuts. He had enough years of teaching under his belt to know the severity of that word.
"I don't want to make assumptions based on the words of Petunia Dursley, however, she did write that she fears for her nephew's life. My concern is that this is quite out of character of her and so it can be true. I think it's best that we check on Harry as soon as possible," Albus said in a solemn tone.
"Albus, are you sure the boy isn't throwing one of his infamous tantrums?" Severus asked.
"Certainly not," Albus said. "This is rather poor timing, I'm in the middle of a personal mission and cannot check on Harry myself."
"Hold up… What are you asking of me?" Severus asked in disbelief. And when the old wizard only stared back at him with a solemn blue gaze, did Severus continue, "Albus, that's absurd! Potter will never cooperate with me! We hate each other, or have you forgotten?"
"No, I haven't forgotten," Albus smiled softly, not forgetting the importance of his floo call to Severus. "I need you to check on Harry for me and make sure he's okay. If you think that he isn't safe there for any reason, take him to Hogwarts. I know this might affect the wards placed on him but if Petunia still acknowledges to Harry that he still has a home with her at Privet Drive, then that shouldn't be a problem."
Severus inwardly groaned in defeat. He stood no chance against Albus Dumbledore. He knew he couldn't say no, especially since Albus had done so much for him in the past. Severus just couldn't stand the thought of being the person to check on the brat. And if Potter should return, then who was going to watch him? Not himself, surely? Severus had better things to do than babysit this summer!
"Let's say I've agreed to this mental plan of your's, and I end up bringing Potter back with me. What am I to do with him until you return?" Severus asked.
"Harry will reside in your quarters where he'll be safe. I can't thank you enough."
Severus felt his stomach sink in despair, he knew his fate was sealed. Albus was already counting on him. How could Severus say no to him?
Blasted old coot! Severus shook his head in annoyance at the headmaster.
"Don't waste your breath, I haven't told you my decision yet!" Severus crossed his arms against his chest. "Are you sure there's no one else fit for this mission?" he asked. "What about the Weasleys or the wolf?"
"Remus is out on a mission for the Order of the Phoenix at the moment, and the wards around Hogwarts are stronger than the Burrow. Voldemort's more powerful than ever. We can't take any chances on relying on the wards that are placed on the Burrow when the wards on Hogwarts are so much stronger."
Severus sighed loudly in frustration and annoyance. "And there's absolutely no one else besides them? Albus, do you know what you're asking of me ? Like I've said before, we hate each other!"
"I know… And when I return, I'm already expecting half the castle to be blown up with you two together," Albus chuckled, causing Severus to sigh loudly again. "You're the only one I trust that's available at the moment. I need you to do this."
At the twinkling, earnest gaze of Albus Dumbledore, Severus felt himself giving in, even if it went against all of his instincts.
Severus rolled his eyes. "Okay, Albus, I'll do it. I'll check on Potter first thing tomorrow morning."
Severus couldn't help but think… What am I getting myself into? Funny how quickly a quiet evening can be instantly ruined.
"Don't sound so glum about this, Severus, it can be nothing after all. But if it is something to worry about, and Potter does end up coming back with you, it shall be for the best. It'll be wonderful if you can use the time to work on your differences with one another."
Albus chuckled merrily at Severus scowling at his words. Then the headmaster disappeared, causing the green flames in Severus' fireplace to turn orange and red once more.
The evening after the strange conversation with Aunt Petunia, Harry was currently sitting cross-legged on his bed with his back against the wall, fidgeting with the small knife he'd stolen from the kitchen as he waited for his uncle to return home. A punishment was hanging over Harry's head. He didn't finish the list of chores he was given.
Uncle Vernon is mental! No one can finish that list in one day, especially in this summer heat!
So, Harry was now waiting for the inevitable punishment he couldn't escape and he wasn't afraid. If anything, Harry just wanted it to be over so he could be left alone in peace.
Maybe I deserve the bloody punishment… Harry thought. After all, I didn't do what he asked. Bloody hell! If I can't handle a long list of chores because it was too hard, then how am I ever going to handle the defeat of Voldemort?
And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives….
Harry learned of the prophecy weeks ago, and somehow he knew it was always going to lead to him and Voldemort in the end. Death was always going to be in his future, waiting for him. That did not bother Harry, nor scared him. It was fighting the dark wizard without having a choice was what bothered him. Harry hated that he had no control, and that was one of the reasons why he needed to cut himself, so that Harry could have an ounce of control for the pain he felt. It wasn't much, but it was all he had.
With that thought, sudden internal pain and stress made tears well up in Harry's eyes, but he refused to cry. The sudden pain was still so strong, he couldn't breathe, and the only way to release it was by pressing the small blade against his skin, until blood began to well up from the tiny cut Harry made.
"Potter! Get down here!"
Harry right away threw the knife under his pillow. He stood up and pulled his sleeve down, hoping his uncle wouldn't notice it.
Harry made his way downstairs, stopping at the third step in front of his uncle. He pushed away his emotions, making sure they were safely behind his brick wall. The punishments somehow hurt less that way.
"You little freak!" Uncle Vernon yelled, and without warning, he punched his nephew hard in the stomach, causing Harry to double over and gag.
"I told you to finish up this list before I come home from work, and you've only done half?!"
Harry, still gagging, choked out, "I did them as fast as I could, but it was too much! No one can finish all of that in one day!"
"Don't you dare talk back to me, boy! I'll show you! You lazy little…" Uncle Vernon couldn't finish his sentence, because his fury rose so high that all he could do was push Harry against the wall and choke him.
Harry gasped for air, trying to claw his uncle's meaty hands off him, but it was no use. Uncle Vernon was too strong. Harry gasped harder for air, his vision clouding with dark spots. He was certain he was going to die if his uncle didn't let go!
And then this dark thought came to Harry... Maybe, it wouldn't be that bad if this was how he died….
Harry had nothing to live for anyway. The only thing that he had to look forward to was death. If he died now, Dumbledore could find a new hero in Neville. He would probably do a better job than Harry. A hero of the wizarding world shouldn't be a messed-up freak who'd screwed up so badly at the Ministry, resulting in countless injuries to his classmates, and Sirius' death.
And if I die now, I can see Sirius again and my parents… I can tell Sirius I'm sorry… There will be no more nightmares… No more cutting….
Suddenly Harry was falling to the floor. The air whooshed back into his lungs as he inhaled and exhaled loudly. Uncle Vernon gave him one hard kick in the ribs before shouting, "Go to your room, boy!" and stomped off to the living room.
The left side of Harry's ribs where Uncle Vernon had kicked him were screaming in pain. Harry was surprised that Uncle Vernon had let go so quickly. Maybe he'd realized that Harry had stopped fighting. Uncle Vernon was always determined to make sure Harry received nothing he truly wanted, perhaps even death.
Harry stayed where he'd fallen on the floor for a long time, gasping for air, his hands around his strangled neck. It hurt Harry to breathe.
And lying there on the floor, Harry could hear the sounds of the television show Uncle Vernon was watching. His laughter boomed loudly from the living room as if he hadn't just beaten up a teenager. The sound of Dudley's computer games were heard from upstairs, Harry wondered if his cousin was even aware of what had just happened. Aunt Petunia was in the kitchen, the sounds of her cooking dinner also reached Harry's ears. Did she know Harry was lying on the floor, beaten, broken, gasping for air? Did she even care?
At the thought of any of them not caring enough to check on him, Harry finally let his emotions out of his brick wall. There was so much abuse Harry could take in this house without showing he was hurt, but this time, he couldn't hold back anymore. Harry didn't know why… Maybe it was due to his depression or for the fact that he wished Uncle Vernon had strangled him to death.
For the second time that day, Harry felt himself begin to cry, and this time he allowed it. He let the tears come out, hating himself for showing weakness. Tears fell across his cheeks, pooling onto the carpet. What would happen if Harry just laid here and didn't move? Would the Dursleys care enough to at least help him up to his room? And for the first time in forever, his old childhood pain of neglect that Harry always managed to suppress behind his wall began to rise, and this time he couldn't ignore it. The pain began to overwhelm Harry, until it became so intense it caused his body to shake uncontrollably. It filled his chest with pressure and he couldn't breathe. Harry's tears fell harder and faster as he cried silently on the floor, covering his face with his hands. No one was coming. He felt so alone here.
Once Harry finally finished crying and regained his breath, he found barely enough strength to push himself up to a sitting position. He then stood up slowly and shakily climbed up the stairs to his room. Harry laid down on his bed, not even pausing to examine his new bruises or his neck or even his bruised ribs. He was emotionally exhausted and didn't care at all for anything anymore. Harry just wanted to sleep and forget.
.
.
Harry had just began dozing off when he heard his door open. He was too tired to open his eyes to see who it was, and flinched when he felt a tentative hand touch his shoulder.
"Calm down! It's just me," Aunt Petunia whispered.
She laid down a bowl of cold canned soup and a glass of water with some aspirin on his night table.
"Eat this now, before he comes in and sees this."
Harry opened his eyes and took the aspirin, swallowing it down with a glass of water.
"You don't have to do this you know," Harry muttered as he stirred his spoon around in the bowl of soup. He didn't really have much of an appetite. Harry couldn't even remember the last time he had eaten.
"Just eat the soup!" Aunt Petunia snapped. She frowned as she watched Harry take two bites and then placed the bowl of soup on his night table, feeling like he was going to throw it up.
Aunt Petunia held her lips tight with dislike and disapproval as she glared at him. "You're right, I didn't have to come up here to see if you were still alive, but I did, and you're being a horrid, ungrateful little freak! Don't I always tell you to not upset your uncle? And you don't listen! You push his buttons, you deserved what you got!"
"Well, I'm sorry I didn't finish that stupid list!" Harry shouted back.
"Be quiet! He'll hear you!" Aunt Petunia hissed, and she turned around to gently close the bedroom door.
Harry just watched her in disbelief as he slowly sat up, resting his back against the headboard.
The fact that Aunt Petunia came up here with pain killers and canned soup was something she had never done in the past. Her behavior was so strange, and Harry couldn't help but wonder why. Aunt Petunia never once checked on him after a punishment. She always hid in the other room, unable to watch. She never wanted anything to do with Harry's punishments, she never stopped them, always allowing them to happen. Aunt Petunia never once cared if Harry was in pain or hungry. She never cared when Harry would lay on the floor as a small child, beaten and broken after receiving a harsh punishment from her husband. So why now after all these years? Why was Aunt Petunia suddenly here? Harry certainly didn't trust her. The tension in the room began to thicken as he watched Aunt Petunia with caution. Harry then found himself blurting out in a raspy voice due to just being choked. "You've never done this before, why are you here?"
Aunt Petunia stayed by the door, gathering her thoughts. "I just wanted to make sure he didn't do too much damage and if you were still alive," she muttered. It seemed like she was going to say more, but then stopped herself.
"Well I'm alive, so you can feel better about it and go."
"Shut up, Potter, I'm trying to figure out how to say this!"
Harry rolled his eyes, but didn't say anymore and just sat in uncomfortable silence. Was Aunt Petunia suddenly feeling some sympathy for him? Is that why she came up here to check on him?
Aunt Petunia finally sighed loudly in defeat and then said, "Look, Potter, when you first graced us with your presence on our doorstep years ago, you have to understand that I was young and full of anger. I had so much resentment towards Lily and that boy she hung out with. No one saw the freaky things they did together, no one saw how bad Lily was. They were blinded when it came to her, no one saw, but me. I worked hard to distance myself away from her and her world, and it was all for nothing when you showed up, and then when I found out about your mother's death, I didn't allow myself to grieve. I chose to be angry. Until it came to the point where I couldn't look at you because you reminded me of her every day, not just because of your eyes but by the way you fight. Now I see that fight is leaving you due to whatever happened to you at school and I can't help you, not in the way Lily or even your dad would have if they were alive."
"I often wonder what your mother would say to me if she knew how Vernon and I raised you. I wouldn't be surprised if she never forgave me, and I've accepted that. There's nothing I can do about it now, except, perhaps, to make sure you leave this house alive and get the help you need. I think that's the only way I can redeem myself to her."
Harry gaped at Aunt Petunia's confession before anger took over.
"If you're trying to set things right with my mother, then why do you always let Uncle Vernon hit me? Why do you just look away while I'm getting the shit beaten out of me? He was bloody choking me today, and where were you?!" Harry shouted, not even bothering to hide the hurt he was feeling.
"Harry, please understand that I can never be as strong as Lily to stop him when he rages like that! And it's your fault! You were always pushing him as a child! You were a nasty little thing that needed the magic beaten out of you! You deserved everything you got and my only job is to make sure he doesn't kill you for his benefit! I can't have my husband getting arrested for the sake of you!"
Harry glared at her. He understood. He completely understood that Aunt Petunia never cared nor had sudden sympathy for him, and she was okay with her husband beating him. It was always she and her family that came first, and Harry was never a part of that family. She wasn't here for his sake but for her own, so that she could redeem herself to her sister by making sure her husband didn't kill their unwanted nephew! This just proved to Harry that he could never trust the adults who were supposed to care for him!
"Potter, look I wrote to…" Aunt Petunia began to say. She was about to touch his shoulder, as if to calm him down, but Harry flinched away. He scooted far away from her.
"Don't touch me! I've told you before!" Harry shouted. "Can you just go, please!"
Harry laid back down on his bed and covered himself with his thin blanket, closing his eyes and trying hard not to cry. A lump formed in Harry's throat, making it hard to breathe due to the fact that his neck and throat were still sore from his uncle's hands. His ribs were hurting and they felt so tender, that Harry wondered if they were broken from Uncle Vernon's kick.
Harry couldn't understand why he was feeling so upset about what Aunt Petunia had said. After all, he was supposed to be used to not being cared for in her house. What she'd said wasn't a surprise to him. His aunt's footsteps was the last thing Harry heard before he dozed off into a fitful sleep.
.
.
"No," Harry mumbled in his sleep.
Sirius was laughing, he was laughing… And Bellatrix took her chance….
"Avada Kedavra!" Bellatrix shouted.
Green light blinded Harry, and Sirius' laughter was gone.
"No!" Harry screamed.
Cruel laughter filled the room with the veil. It was echoing off the walls. Voldemort... Fear filled every inch of Harry's body.
"Sirius!" Harry shouted.
Harry sat up in bed drenched in sweat. His vision was blurry since his glasses were on the night table. A cool hand touched his arm and Harry flinched back in surprise and fear.
"Lumos," a soft voice whispered. A bright light illuminated Harry's room.
Harry grabbed his glasses and put them on. His mouth dropped open in surprise. Harry was sure he was still dreaming, because the person standing in his bedroom was none other than his Potions Professor, Severus Snape.
"Snape?" Harry hissed. "What are you doing here?!" He pulled his wand out from under his mattress, ready to defend himself if needed. Harry knew Dumbledore trusted Snape, but Harry had every right to not trust the snake.
"Put your wand away, Potter! And it's Professor Snape or sir to you! Look at you, already disrespecting your elders!" Snape hissed. "I was sent by Professor Dumbledore to check on you. And seeing that you're shouting in your sleep, maybe he was right to send me!" he snapped impatiently. His black eyes were glittering coldly in the wand light.
Hoping the Dursleys were still asleep, Harry reached over and flicked on his lamp. He inwardly groaned from the pain in his ribs. It seemed as if they had gotten worse while he slept.
"What time is it?" was the only thing Harry could think to say besides the whirlpool of questions going on inside his head. Why did Dumbledore decide to send someone to check on him now all of sudden? And why did it have to be Snape? Hagrid or one of the Weasleys were perfectly capable of completing the task, but Snape?!
"Of all the things to ask, you insolent boy," Snape hissed as he rolled his eyes. "It is fucking five in the morning, and I don't have time to deal with your dramatics! Explain yourself!"
"I have to explain myself? Bloody hell!" Harry gritted his teeth at the sharp pain his exclamation caused him. He really couldn't breathe without irritating his bruised ribs. Luckily, Snape was too busy yelling to have noticed it.
"Language, Potter!"
"Why did Professor Dumbledore send you?" Harry couldn't help but ask. "He's never done something like this, unless to pick me up, but to simply just check on me? He usually has Aurors trailing around and keeping watch for Death Eaters outside."
"I was sent here to check on you because the headmaster has received a very worrisome letter from your aunt. He's too busy doing far more important things for the Order than to be bothered by annoying children!" Snape hissed. "Now explain yourself, Potter!"
Harry could only stare at his professor.
Aunt Petunia sent Dumbledore a letter?
"What did she say to him?" Harry asked, with his shock written clearly all over his face.
"You're more of an idiot than I thought if you don't already know!" Snape snapped in annoyance.
Harry only glared at him, stubbornly waiting for Snape to answer his questions.
"If you're not going to explain yourself, I see no reason in staying here any longer, completely assuming that your aunt has nothing to worry about," Snape announced as he prepared to leave.
Harry then realized he was costing his only chance of leaving this place for the summer.
Maybe Snape will take me to the Weasleys!
"I'm guessing Aunt Petunia told Professor Dumbledore how I've been taking Sirius' death?" Harry muttered in a low voice. He could feel his face flushing in embarrassment. Seriously, of all people it had to be Snape!
Severus was becoming more annoyed by the second.
This brat seems okay! To hell with Albus and his concerns! It's obvious Potter's just trying to gain attention! Attention-seeking brat, exactly like his father!
Severus was just about to leave when he noticed the pain in Potter's voice as he spoke. Severus turned around to look at him. The boy was frowning, looking down at his hands. Potter's green eyes behind his glasses were dark, showing an internal battle the boy seemed to be having with himself. It looked as if Potter was torn between keeping everything to himself and explaining his problems with his least favorite professor.
But then, there wasn't anything in the letter concerning the brat's grief for Black's death... Maybe there is something?
"Bloody fucking hell," Severus cursed in annoyance, swearing to himself that Albus Dumbledore was going to be the death of him one day. He pulled up Potter's desk chair so that it faced the boy, taking a seat, while Potter stared at him with wide green eyes.
So much like her eyes….
Severus decided to look away and not think about Lily at all.
"Why don't you start with the nightmares you've been having, Potter," Severus said stiffly, showing the boy that he would rather be doing anything else than listen to this brat's teenage angst.
"Can't you just tell Professor Dumbledore that I'm not doing well here and take me to the Weasleys? Do we have to do this whole talking thing?" Harry complained in horror.
"Potter, for the love of Merlin! I'm just following the headmaster's orders! I know you think you're above everyone's orders and too arrogant to follow rules to respect your professors. I know this is uncomfortable, but for once, just do as I say, and not make it more unpleasantly painful for the both of us!"
Harry glared at Snape. Hatred for the man raged through him. Why should he even tell Snape about his nightmares? How Harry was forced to watch Sirius die over and over. Snape wouldn't understand, especially when it seemed like he didn't even want to listen!
"No! Why should I tell you! You don't care at all! You hated Sirius!" Harry forced himself to not clutch at his ribs when he shouted. He didn't want Snape to see how much pain he was in. It was obvious the professor didn't know about Uncle Vernon's punishments, and Harry wanted it to stay that way.
"Calm down, Potter, before you wake the muggles!" Snape snapped. "I can honestly feel a headache starting to take place due to your attitude!"
Snape muttered a silencing spell around the room. "I'm surprised those infernal muggles haven't woken up due to all of your ruckus!"
"No, you hated him! You hated Sirius! You hated my dad and you hate me! You don't even know anything about me!" Harry shouted. He gasped painfully for air. Now that Harry was shouting, he couldn't stop. And now everything, all the pain, guilt, grief, and anger that he'd been holding inside, uncontrollably spilled out.
"Since day one, you've hated me! So why should I talk to you? You don't even want to be here! It's obvious you're being forced by Professor Dumbledore to be here! So just take me to the Weasleys and save yourself the trouble!"
"Believe me, Potter, if I could, I would in a heartbeat! I'm not going to repeat myself to an arrogant swine, just like your father! Now tell me about your bloody nightmare or so help me I'm go..!"
"Or you're going to what?" Harry shouted, cutting off Snape in the middle of his rant. "Are you going to curse me? Go ahead. Finish what Voldemort's started! Like I bloody care anymore whatever I live or die!"
Severus stared at him in disbelief.
Did Potter really mean that? Or did he just say that because he's so angry he can't control his mouth?
Suddenly all of Severus' anger vanished. This boy must be really taking his godfather's death badly. Either that or the stress of the prophecy was too heavy for him to bear, causing the boy to break. It seemed like Potter had deeper problems than Severus thought. And what was worse, was that Petunia's suspicions about self-harm were most likely to be true.
"Do you really consider ending your own life, Potter?" Severus asked softly.
It was quiet for a few moments. So quiet and the air so full of tension, that Severus almost missed the small voice coming from the teen.
"Sometimes…"
Severus sighed and covered his face with his hands.
I guess this qualifies as a reason to take Potter back with me, since he's trying to gain everyone's attention by being suicidal, of all the things… Bloody hell… Fuck!
"Show me your arms, Potter," Severus ordered in a slow, menacing voice, showing Potter that there'll be consequences if he doesn't listen.
Potter sighed in defeat, as if he were thinking there was no point in hiding it anymore. He got out of bed and stood in front of Severus, glaring at him with raging green eyes as Potter held out his arm.
Severus lifted up his sleeve, frowning at the long, healing cuts along the underarm of Potter's left arm. Some were small, some long, and looked as if they were pretty deep. Along the skin were crissed-crossed scars, some looked old, some looked fresh. Severus couldn't believe Potter would stoop this low. The sight of these self-inflicted cuts chinked away at the ice in his heart, allowing Severus to see that the boy wasn't doing this for attention. Potter truly needed help. Severus now understood why Petunia was so worried. If the boy went too far one day, he could kill himself. And Severus doubted it wasn't going to be any longer, considering what Potter had recently shouted at him moments ago.
Severus drew his wand over Potter's arm and whispered a healing spell over the opened cuts, turning them into freshly healed scars. When Severus was done, he let go of Potter's arm, and asked in his most sincere voice, "Why do you do that to yourself, Potter?"
Potter looked away, his face red with embarrassment and shame. And Severus knew he wasn't going to get an answer.
"Fine, if you won't answer me, then you'll have to answer to your headmaster. This leaves me no choice. I'll have to take you back with me. This is exactly what Professor Dumbledore was afraid of." The anger and hate was gone from Severus' voice. Only to be replaced with worry for the student he has hated for almost six years.
"Am I going to the Weasleys?" Potter asked hopefully as he pulled his sleeves back down, covering up his scars once more.
"No, I'm going to take you to Hogwarts. Now start packing up your trunk," Severus answered. He decided to leave out the part where the boy was going to reside in his living quarters. Severus was sure if he did, Potter would absolutely refuse to go with him, and the brat was quite stubborn.
Potter looked crestfallen for a moment at the knowledge that he wouldn't be heading to the Burrow, before he muttered, "Sir?"
"Yes, Potter?" Severus said with annoyance.
Seriously, the boy can't follow one simple task!
"My trunk is locked away under the stairs, in my old cupboard."
"Your old cupboard?" Severus asked. "Care to explain, Potter?"
"It was where I slept up until my first year at Hogwarts." Potter said it so calmly, as if sleeping in a broom cupboard were normal for children.
"What are you talking about?" Severus was so confused as to why Potter was suddenly saying he used to sleep inside an old broom cupboard. Albus only mentioned that Potter was harming himself, nothing else that might be going wrong in the Dursley household.
Severus glared closely at Potter, who was looking anywhere but at him. He then noticed for the first time, the hand-shaped bruises around Potter's neck.
Don't tell me that they abuse him… Severus realized.
"How did you get those bruises on your neck?" Severus snapped without intending to.
The boy gaped at him, lost for words at the sudden question.
"Answer me, Potter! Did your uncle do this to you?" Severus snapped again as he placed his hand on Potter's chin, forcing the teen to look up at him, but it only caused Potter to flinch away.
"I... I don't want to talk about it," Potter muttered.
That gave all the proof Severus needed.
Those worthless, bloody muggles! Severus thought as he frowned at Potter. His lips formed into a thin line of disapproval as Severus fought to hold in the rage at what he just found out.
"Stay here," Severus muttered as he opened the door to Potter's room, then crept quietly down the stairs to not wake up the muggles.
Severus whispered, "Alohomora," unlocking the bolts and chains on the cupboard door. Severus still couldn't believe what Potter had said. How could anyone allow a child to sleep in a cupboard was beyond him.
As much as Severus hated the boy, Potter didn't deserve that. What upset Severus the most, was that he never knew Potter was being abused at home. Sure he heard the boy complain about his relatives occasionally during term at Hogwarts, but he'd always assumed Potter was just being ungrateful and spoiled. All teenagers complained about their parents. But Severus never knew, never noticed the signs. And the part that made Severus angrier was that Albus surely must have known. He must've known about Potter's home life. Albus was the one who sent the boy there and had Mrs. Figg watch him, surely she must've noticed the abuse and informed the headmaster.
Severus frowned as he opened the cupboard door. He couldn't help but think of another boy who was mistreated and abused by the person who was supposed to love him and protect him. Severus pushed away the familiar emotions that were coming up every time he would think about his past, and forced himself to focus on the task at hand. Which was collecting Potter's trunk and getting the hell out of there, before Severus lost control and cursed the filthy muggles.
The cupboard was so small and dusty as he pulled out Potter's trunk. Severus swore that he saw a bunch of spiders crawl away into the shadows. He tried not to imagine Potter as a small child on that folded up cot, laying in pain with no one but spiders to comfort him. On the small shelves, Severus noticed the little toy soldiers, broken and worn out. No doubt they were second hand toys that had most likely been tossed aside by Potter's cousin.
Next to the broken toys were old papers with a child's drawings on them. Without thinking about it, Severus grabbed the old artwork and stuffed them into the inside pocket of his robes. And without pausing, Severus closed the cupboard door and levitated the trunk upstairs back to Potter's bedroom.
Once Severus reached the top of the staircase, to his utter surprise, he was confronted by Petunia Dursley. She had on her pink bathrobe and her blonde hair was pulled up into a neat bun. Her arms were crossed and her mouth was shaped into a thin frown. Severus almost didn't recognize the woman. The last time he'd seen Petunia Dursley was when they were teenagers. She was Petunia Evans than. She hadn't even gone to Lily's funeral.
"Of all people, I didn't expect that headmaster to send you to pick up the boy!" Petunia snapped. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "I can see you've finally grown a decent height, Snape."
"It's a pleasure seeing you too," Snape sneered at her. He was giving everything he had to not pull out his wand and threaten the woman who was supposed to be responsible for Potter's well-being.
"Lily would have been disappointed in you if she knew what you and your poor excuse for a muggle husband did to her child!" Severus hissed. He fought harder to control his rage for the abuse Potter had suffered.
"What if I forbid you from taking, Harry!" Petunia snapped in anger, ignoring what Severus told her. "When I wrote to the headmaster, I asked him to pick Harry up! Not you! If you take him and I refuse, then you are committing a kidnapping!"
"Don't be stupid, Dursley! You've had your chance with raising the boy right and you've failed. Now get out of my way! Your empty threat means nothing to me," Severus growled.
Petunia could see Snape tightening his hold around his wand. She glared at the man she once knew as a child. She'd hated him ever since they met in that playground. When he took Lily away from her. Resentment clouded Petunia's blue eyes. Despite her hating Harry, why should she entrust her only nephew's care to the hands of this man? Why should she let Snape take off with her sister's only child?
As hard as it was to admit though, Petunia knew why….
She knew Lily and Snape were best friends. Her sister had loved this man standing right in front of Petunia. Lily saw the good in everyone and she obviously saw something in Snape, so why couldn't she see it too?
Petunia stepped aside and let Snape pass through her. Maybe entrusting Lily's son to the man who was her best friend would redeem Petunia and her crimes. It was the least she could do for her sister after the hard childhood she gave to Harry.
She followed Snape inside Harry's room and saw that the boy was ready to go. She wasn't sure if Harry was going to come back next summer, especially after the conversations they'd shared. Then suddenly something popped up in her mind, she remembered the blood wards in the old letter that was found in Harry's blanket. The blood wards that were keeping Harry and her family safe as long as she allowed him to call this place home. And so Petunia had to push away her feelings and tell Harry that this was his home too, she had to say that Harry was part of her family, even though she hated him. Saying those words would hurt Petunia's pride, but they were worth it if it meant her family, especially her beloved son, were safe.
Severus just finished explaining to Potter about the portkey that was going to activate in ten minutes. The boy was double checking if he had everything when Severus noticed that Petunia followed him inside the room. Severus chose to pretend he wasn't paying attention, busying himself by shrinking Potter's trunk as Petunia went to the boy.
"You don't have to come back, Potter, you're not obligated if you don't want to. I perfectly understand if this is the last time I see you. I know I said you didn't belong here but you do. This is where you grew up, this is your home, and we are still your family, no matter how we'd raised you. You're always welcomed back here, and I hope that when you go, the wards will still hold, keeping you safe from the wizard that killed your parents. That's the least I can do after everything," Petunia said to Potter who looked surprised at his aunt's words.
Severus wondered if this was the first time Petunia ever said something decent to Potter. He decided not to ask. Potter would be able to talk about his home life when he was ready. At least the boy would still be protected by the blood wards. And Severus mentally reminded himself to inform Albus when he got the chance.
Petunia gave Potter one more uncomfortable look and then left the room, closing the door softly behind her. Potter was staring after her, his green eyes clouding with some unknown emotion.
"One more thing before we go, Potter," Severus said, he didn't want to waste anymore time. There was still one more thing to do.
Harry tore his eyes away from the closed door.
"Bring me the tool that you've been using to harm yourself with."
"Sir!" Potter protested, his green eyes glowing with indignation.
"Bring it to me!"
Potter didn't say another word, just shot him another indignant look before going to his bed and pulling something out from under his pillow.
Potter handed it over to Severus who snatched it out of his hand.
It was a small silver knife stained with blood. Severus muttered a spell, instantly destroying it. Potter was never going to cut himself with it again.
"Hey!"
"No, you don't get to say anything! Now get ready, we have less than a minute for the portkey to activate!"
Severus handed him the portkey and watched as Potter, clutching his owl's cage close to his chest, put his hand on it. Suddenly they were whisked away from number four Privet Drive and away to Hogwarts.