Chapter 58. Coming Home

When Nathan returned, Allie and Julia were sitting inside the cabin. Julia had gone through the cupboards and tried to find something edible. She wasn't hungry, but Allie's stomach had been rumbling for over an hour now. There was nothing to eat in this cabin, Julia had turned it upside down three times, and found nothing.

When Nathan entered, his serge was still unbuttoned. He didn't speak to either of them, but sat in the empty chair.

"You didn't find them?" Allie asked.

Nathan shook his head no, and rose to look through the cabinets.

"There's nothing, Dad. Julia already looked. Three times." Nathan closed the cabinet and leaned on the counter, his arms taut and his back to them both. His head hung and he stood there a minute, composing himself. He took a deep breath and went back outside.

Julia looked over at Allie and realized she was silently crying. Julia put her arm around Allie and tried to comfort her. "I feel so bad that he's so upset." Allie told Julia.

"He'll get over it, Allie. We only need to apologize and he'll forgive us. I know he will. Don't you worry." Julia told her. "There's no one he loves more than you, Allie."

When Allie was calm again, Julia rose and looked out the window. She saw Nathan sitting on the porch, his back against the wall of the cabin, his long legs crossed and stretched out all the way across the porch. She couldn't see his face because it was hidden by his campaign hat. Oh, how she wanted to see his face. She wanted to look into his eyes and know that he was okay. But, she sat back down next to Allie, feeling as defeated as Allie did.

Everything seemed so silent about the cabin. Silent and somber.

Finally, about an hour later, came the sound of boots on the porch and Nathan's happy voice speaking to someone. Julia rose and looked out the window, and there were the horses. All three of them. Nathan was petting and praising Newton, who had obviously led them back.

"Allie! The horses are back!" Julia told her, happily. Allie and Julia both walked out onto the porch, while Nathan was in the process of checking them over. Nathan's gaze followed Julia as she walked over to Newton, who seemed happy to see her. Newton nuzzled into her neck and she petted him and spoke softly to him.

"Good boy, Newton. You are good boy." Julia told him softly, so that only he could hear. And, she petted him, firmly on the neck, just the way he liked.

Nathan returned to the cabin, and made sure everything was left in order, just as they had found it. He folded the blanket Allie had used, and put it back on the bed. He closed the door, and rejoined them outside.

"You girls got everything from inside the cabin? You're ready to go?" Nathan asked them.

They both nodded. Though, he realized they both looked wet and cold. He walked silently over to Hero's saddlebag and pulled out Bill's Mountie blanket. He placed it on Allie's shoulders, and then helped her mount Ginger. He checked her stirrups and cinch, and made sure she was all set.

Then, Nathan walked over to Newton's saddlebag and pulled out his Mountie blanket. He looked down at Julia as he placed the blanket over her shoulders. And, he looked at her so intensely that she couldn't draw breath. She held his gaze, and longed, yearned to go into his arms. She longed to be close to him, and was sure he could read it on her face. He held the blanket closed tight around her and felt the same intense longing. In fact, he nearly lost all restraint and pulled her in. It took every bit of his willpower not to. But, he forced himself to stay focused on getting them home safely. He helped her mount Newton, checked her stirrups and tack, and got her all set to go.

Then, Nathan mounted Hero and he silently led them back down to Hope Valley. It had stopped raining now, though there were a few light sprinkles here and there on the journey down. They rode in silence, and a few times he glanced back at them, to make sure they were still there. On more than one occasion, he saw Julia wiping her eyes. He knew he was the reason for her tears. He knew he should apologize, but now, he just wasn't sure where or how to begin. He decided it best to talk to Julia when they could be alone, once they were back in Hope Valley, and he had cleared the air with Allie.

Julia held on tight to Newton's reigns as she followed Nathan down the mountain. She felt a flow of tears escape, more than once, on their way down. She was trying to process all that had happened in the last 24 hours, and was overcome with emotion. The fear she had felt for Allie, and then the great relief she had felt when she found her. The fear they two had felt, alone in the cabin, with the storm raging outside. The surprise and relief to see Nathan, and the wealth of emotion she felt that he had come to their rescue. He had been her hero once again. And, then the horrible realization that he was angry with her. And, that dispute on the front porch. It was horrible. And, Julia couldn't get over the face that he was upset with her. That stung the most.

And, there was the discord. She and Nathan were suddenly, violently no longer in sync. And she felt it, to the very depths of her heart, she felt it. They were in discord, the very definition meant no longer in accord. Accord, like music notes, played as a chord on a piano, that made a sweet blend when played together. They no longer made that sound, but the opposite of a harmony, a cacophony. And, it was painful. She almost couldn't bear it. And, the worst part was that she had to follow him down the mountain, like a wounded soldier retreating home. She had to look at the back of his handsome head, as well as his strong shoulders and back, all the way down. He lifted his hat and ran his hand through his hair so many times on the way down, and she knew that was something he did when he was frustrated. Like a constant reminder, over and over, of his disappointment in her.

In her heart, she knew it was normal for couples to have disputes and disagreements. But, this was a doozy. She had followed her heart, tried to do what was right. And, he was upset with her for having done it. For having taken a risk, for putting herself in harm's way. But, she had done it all for Allie.

When they rode into town, Bill was sitting on the bench outside of the infirmary. He spotted them first and knocked on the infirmary door. Faith came rushing out.

"They're back! They're back!" Faith yelled. People came out from everywhere, poured out onto the street, from all directions, worried and happy to see them.

Grams came quickly out of the cafe, and stopped just beside Allie. She put her hand on Allie's leg, with tears in her eyes. "Allie. Allie. You're okay. Thank you, Lord!" Grams looked over at Nathan and Julia, so thankful that they were all alive and well.

They pulled the horses to a halt, and everyone crowded around them. Nathan looked at Julia, who avoided his gaze altogether. Finally, as she dismounted, she glanced at him with an sad, even grin. Bill noticed, Faith noticed, and Grams noticed. Something was not right between them.

Faith approached Julia and asked her a million questions. "Faith, slow down. We are fine. Just fine." Julia told her, as Faith nodded. She realized Faith might need more than that. "We took refuge in a cabin and Nathan found us." And, then she remembered he was hurt. She placed her hand on Faith's arm and added quietly, so only Faith could hear, "Nathan might be hurt, though. I think the ride was too rough for his tender ribs. Please check him out, Faith." Julia told her, with a worried look. Faith nodded.

Julia looked over at Allie, who was in Grams' arms. Allie was talking a mile a minute, telling her everything that happened. Julia noticed Rebecca look at her, after Allie told her something in particular. Rebecca nodded at Julia, and Julia nodded back, an unspoken thanks and acknowledgment for Julia's taking care of Allie.

Then Allie and Grams walked over to Julia. Rebecca hugged Julia, and whispered words of thanks into Julia's ear. "Are you okay, Julia?" Rebecca asked her, pulling back to look her in the eye.

"I'm fine, physically." Julia answered Rebecca, who nodded in understanding. Julia didn't mean it to come out that way, the naked truth just slipped out. But Julia added, "I'm just glad Allie and Nathan are okay."

"That's the most important part. That you are all okay." Rebecca hugged Julia again, an excuse to lean in close and whisper in her ear. "He'll get over it, whatever it is. He loves you too much."

That made Julia's eyes well with tears, and she tried with all her might to keep them from falling. As Rebecca stepped back next to Allie, Julia nodded at her, grateful for her kind words. Nathan looked at Julia in that moment, and noticed her wipe an eye. He saw her let out a long slow breath, and compose herself.

"Allie, what do you say, I take you home and we can have a nice long talk, just grand-mother to grand-daughter? I owe you a big apology for making such a stink, and you can tell me all about your adventure up on the mountain?" Grams asked her. Julia loved the way Rebecca made light of the hard stuff, those bad decisions that were impossible to take back now, in order to get to the heart of the matter.

"Please, Grams. That sounds wonderful. And, I'm a little hungry if there's anything to eat at home." Allie told her, looking up at her admiringly.

"I'm sure I can cook you up something good." Grams replied, and they started towards home.

Nathan was walking towards Julia, when Ned ran up and intercepted. "Nathan, this telegram just came for you."

"Thanks, Ned." Nathan took it from him, and quickly read it. He looked relieved, and ran over to Allie and Grams, and caught them. He gave the telegram to Grams, and she also looked relieved.

Julia overheard Nathan gently tell them, "Do you see? All the drama was unnecessary." Julia guessed that the telegram was probably Archie's response. He must have agreed to come next Friday.

Faith intercepted Nathan next, and asked him if she could take a look at him, in the infirmary. Nathan nodded, and made eye contact with Julia. She just gazed at him, expressionless, not sure how to handle everything that was going on between them. All she knew for certain was that she needed him and he was very far away. It felt like an abyss, one she didn't know how to cross.

Julia broke her gaze with Nathan, when Bill walked up to her. "What's going on between you two?" Bill asked.

"That's a good question, Bill." Julia replied.

"Well, why don't you give me a hand with these horses, and you can try to explain it to me?" Bill asked.

"Are you offering me relationship advice, Bill?" Julia smiled at him, amused, and happy for the distraction from her somber thoughts.

"Well, I was married for 20 years." Bill told her.

"Bill, I'll help you with the horses, but I don't know if I'm ready to talk." Julia told him.

"Well, I'm here for whatever you need, Julia." Bill told her. Julia took Newton's reigns and fell into step beside Bill as he led both Hero and Ginger.

When they got into the livery, Jed helped them get the horses untacked, brushed, fed, and put up.

As Bill walked Julia back into town, he asked her again what was going on.

"Bill, I think Nathan just got scared. He was worried about Allie and I. From his perspective, we worried him. So, he's upset. With both of us." Julia tried to keep it simple, but still give him the gist of it.

"Well, taking off like that was not a smart move. Allie was completely in the wrong. She is not strong enough on horseback yet, and with a storm like that brewing, it was very dangerous. She could have been hurt very bad, and you too, chasing off after her." Bill told Julia.

"But Bill, Allie didn't know about the storm. After she took off and we were all searching for her, I checked the livery. I was right there, in the livery, when Jed told me that Allie had taken Ginger. It seemed to me the fastest course of action was to hop on Newton and chase after her, to try to reach her before the storm. And, that's exactly what I did. If I had waited, I'm not sure anyone could have gotten to her in time." Julia looked down at her hands and then back up at Bill, "Bill when I found her, she had lost her horse, and she was all alone, and completely lost. If I had waited any longer, taken the time to find one of you, it could have been much worse."

Bill nodded, "But, from Nathan's perspective, you put yourself in harm's way when that's his job, he's been trained for it. And, he would prefer to put his life on the line for either of you, than for you to be in danger. It's not just his protective nature, but also how he was trained." Bill told her. "He'll get over it, I'm sure. Just give him some time and some space. He was worried, and it just needs to sink in that you are both just fine."

Julia nodded, thankful for Bill's wisdom and insight. Julia knew Nathan was protective and selfless by nature, and it helped to know that a certain part of that had been enhanced by his training, too.

"Thanks, Bill." She said as they stopped in front of the infirmary.

"I'm just glad you are alright." Bill informed her. "Not many people in town got a good night's sleep last night."

"I'm sorry we worried everyone." She told him. "Honestly, Bill. I'm sorry."

"Water under the bridge, now, my dear. Go make up with the Constable and then get some rest." He told her with his lopsided grin.

"I'll try, Bill. I promise I'll try." Julia told him, with her own uncertain grin.

Julia climbed the stairs to the infirmary and silently went in. She could hear Nathan talking to Faith on the other side of the curtain.

"I was worried, Faith. That could be the only explanation." Julia heard Nathan tell her.

"You've never had high blood pressure before?" Faith asked him.

"No, never." Nathan answered.

"It's probably just related to the stress level of the last 24 hours. As far as the soreness in your ribs, it's completely normal. You haven't used those riding muscles in a while, so it's to be expected on your first ride back. If it persists though, I'll need to take another look to be sure you didn't re-injure any of your ribs." Faith told him.

High blood pressure? Re-injured ribs? Julia felt horrible now. She couldn't face him, so she snuck silently through the adjoining door to her apartment. When she got inside, she curled up on her bed and cried.

When Julia woke up, it was afternoon. The light shone in through the windows, even though the sky was still overcast. She must have fallen asleep, though she hadn't meant to. The last thing she remembered was overhearing the conversation between Faith and Nathan next door, and then retreating to her bed to cry. She had felt horrible that he might be injured again.

Now, she sat up and realized her head was pounding. And, she wasn't able to think of anything else. But Nathan. How had things gotten so out of hand? How could she let him stay upset at her? How could she still be upset with him?

She realized her clothes were still slightly damp, and when she walked over and looked in the mirror, she realized how horrible she looked. Her eyes were sad and puffy, and dark circles hung like dirty laundry just beneath. She finally went to her closet and found dry clothes, then she made sure both doors were locked while she washed up.

When she was dressed, and her hair brushed and pinned up, she applied fresh cosmetics to cover her dark circles. And, when that was done, she looked at herself again. She still looked horrible.

She decided she couldn't take it anymore, and the best course of action was to just go and see him.

As Julia neared Nathan's house, she heard a peculiar noise, for this time of year. Whack. It seemed to be coming from Nathan's backyard. Whack. As she neared the break in the fence, she realized he was chopping wood. Whack. Should he be chopping wood?He definitely should not be chopping wood. Whack.

She peeked her head around the break in the fence, but stayed hidden, where he would not notice her. He was indeed, chopping wood. Whack.

She was taken aback by his appearance. Whack. His short-sleeved Henley was soaked with sweat and pulled taut against every muscle in his back and chest. His biceps were bulging with energy as he swung the axe. Whack. And, his hair. It was all a mess, and blowing in the breeze and he didn't seem to care. Whack. Every time he swung the axe, he didn't even pause to pick up and stack anything. He immediately set up the next log. Whack.

And, he looked frustrated. Whack. He was sweaty and tense, and frustrated. Julia couldn't approach him now. She pulled back from her peeking spot, and hid herself safely on the other side of the fence, where he couldn't see her. So he wouldn't know she was there. Whack. Julia stayed right there frozen for a minute, leaning back on the fence, to catch her breath. She realized she was also flushed and bothered, because of him. The tensed muscles, the Henley pulled tight, and the masculine power, had caused heat and color to rise all the way from her gut to her chest, to her cheeks. Whack.

Julia closed her eyes. Nathan was obviously still angry, and frustrated. It was not the time to talk to him, not the time to approach him. He needed more time. But, now Julia was all a mess. She needed to release some of this pent up energy that had been transferred to her, just watching him with an axe. So, she decided to take a walk. That's just what she needed, a nice long walk to clear her mind, and get back control of her emotions.

Julia turned and quickly walked past the rest of the row houses, past the church, the pond, their dock, and up the path towards her meadow.

When Nathan was done whacking his frustrations out, he went upstairs and took a quick bath. He got all ready, and set out for Julia's. He knew he had to make it right with her. He couldn't take one more minute of discord between them. He loved her...very much. He longed to see her, and to tell her how sorry he was for being afraid and upset. And finally, to hold her in his arms. He wanted to feel her close. He needed her - to see her beautiful face and to hear her soft voice.

Earlier today, when he had come home, Allie had been so sorry and so repentant, it had been impossible not to forgive her. He hadn't even bothered to give her any punishment. He was sure she had learned her lesson, and would never do anything so foolish again. He did, however, clearly lay out the ground rules, once again, related to her horse Ginger. He made them painstakingly clear, but he didn't feel any other punishment was required. They had sat a long time talking about everything that happened, from the moment Allie had taken off, to the minute he had arrived. And, Nathan realized, Julia had done the right thing. If it hadn't been for her, Allie might not have found her way, and could have been injured or worse. Which is why he knew he had to make it right with her.

After Allie, Nathan's mother had come to apologize. She sat down with him and poured out her anxieties about Archie. And shared all the reasons she had over-reacted at the mention of Archie coming. Nathan hadn't known the half of it. But, even so, Nathan told her that the situation between her and Archie was not his business and he didn't want to be in the middle of it. He only wanted her to be mindful of her actions, reactions, and her behavior in front of Allie. Obviously, his mother got the message since it was her tirade that had made Allie run off in the first place. His mother apologized profusely and Nathan of course, forgave her. He couldn't understand why he, in his adult life, had become the more mature one when it came to his parents. Weren't they supposed to be the adults?

After all those fences were mended, there was only one left. And, he knew he was the one who needed to do the mending. Seeing her this morning, on Newton, looking so downcast and defeated, was his undoing. He had seen her wiping her eyes several times, and knew that it was his stubbornness that had caused those tears. And, that was eating him up inside. He would never intentionally cause her one ounce of pain, but today and yesterday, he had done just that.

Bill had told him that any relationship without an occasional disagreement wasn't healthy. So, Nathan was glad they were finally getting their first big disagreement behind them. But, it really wasn't a pleasant place to be, smack dab between disagreement and make-up. He hoped he would not be in this place very long. It was torture.

Bill had also told Nathan that the best part of conflict was the making up. That's what Nathan was most looking forward to. Holding Julia in his arms and knowing that everything was back as it should be. He longed for that. He wanted that. And, he would do anything in his power to get there.

As he walked up on her back steps, he took a deep breath. He let it out slowly and he knocked. He waited, but there was no answer. He knocked again, and still nothing. He got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, as he walked around to the front of the infirmary. He went up to the front door and tried it. It was locked. He knocked there, too. But, to no avail.

He went back around to her back door and knocked again, just in case. But, still no answer. He sat down on her back stoop, disappointed he had missed her. His insides were all in knots, at the thought of not seeing her. Where could she be?

After waiting about half an hour, as dusk fell and night was quickening upon Hope Valley, Nathan decided to return home. He gave up on making up with Julia tonight. He knew he probably wouldn't get any sleep, but he couldn't sit on her doorstep all night. He did the only thing he knew to do, he went home.

And on the way there, Nathan decided to make a little stop-off. To see someone he had been wanting to talk to for a long time, and hadn't met with in a while. Someone he was sure could give him the perfect advice…Joseph. As he climbed the Canfield's front steps, Nathan hoped it wouldn't be a bother, and not too late. But, when Joseph answered after just one knock, and with a big smile, Nathan knew he had come to just the right place.

As Julia walked back down from her meadow, she carried a bouquet of flowers, of purples and reds and blues. Dusk had already started falling, so she quickened her step and saw the lantern lights of Hope Valley just in time. It was getting dark, but there was enough light to find her way home. As she walked back through town, she felt so much better. She'd had time to think, and to work out what she would say to Nathan. She actually didn't care so much about what she said, she just knew she had to make up with him. She couldn't stand being in a disagreement with him. He was too precious to her, and she loved him. She loved him fiercely. And, she needed him.

Julia turned the corner and headed towards her back door. She looked down towards the row houses and debated knocking on his door right now. But, then an image of his face this afternoon flashed in her mind, of him chopping wood, and she was deterred. He had looked so frustrated and so upset. She wanted to make sure he'd had enough time to process his feelings, before she approached him. So, she decided the best course of action right now, was to just go home.