Chapter Twenty-Two - Conversations And Losing Friends
Severus was dreaming. He had to be dreaming because he was floating in darkness that left him completely blinded. He couldn't even tell if his eyes were open or closed. Then suddenly, the darkness was chased away by moonlight and Severus was on his knees, kneeling on a hard-stone floor.
Above him was a tiny window with the waxing moon, almost full, casting its light on the huddled figure in front of Severus. There was no mistaking the dirty tangled golden and grey hair. It was Lupin, chained to the wall by a metal collar clasped around his neck. He was wearing nothing but tattered pants, revealing claw-shaped scars all around his upper body. Lupin had his face buried into his lap, his knees pulled up against his chest that bore the burnt label over his heart. Werewolf: Classified Dark Creature.
And Severus couldn't help himself. He gently lifted up Lupin's chin, so he could see his face. And Severus was lost in hazel-green eyes that were glimmering with such pain and suffering.
"Lupin, come back with me…" Severus heard himself say.
Lupin shook his head, his eyes welling up with tears. Severus could feel the strong overwhelming pain and hopelessness coming off Lupin in waves.
"Severus…" Lupin whispered as darkness surrounded Severus once more. The voice so close to his ear, making him shiver in pleasure or fear, Severus wasn't sure.
.
.
Severus opened his eyes, the waking world bringing him out of that mysterious dream. He stared up at the ceiling for a few moments in shock, wondering why in the name of Merlin he would dream about someone who irritated him to no end. It brought back the memory of the argument they had in the courtyard the previous day, and the feelings of anger and frustration Severus felt long after they'd parted ways.
Severus sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, deciding to not think about the dream anymore or what it might mean or even about Lupin. He had to get the stupid wolf with his hazel-green eyes out of his head.
I dreamed of the bloody wolf because I went to bed angry at him. Nothing more… That dream meant nothing… Severus repeated to himself over and over as he climbed out of bed.
As Severus showered and dressed for the day, he'd decided to pick up Harry and Draco. It had been four days since he was weakened by using Legilimency for too long...four days of nothing but rest and now his body was starting to feel stronger than before. He wasn't taking random naps at odd hours of the day anymore, but despite that, his spells were still very weak, even if he could feel his magic growing stronger each day.
After a strong cup of coffee, Severus shouted, "The Burrow!" into his living room fireplace.
Green flames engulfed him, then Severus was speeding through the floo network, until he was finally stepping out into the living room of the Burrow. Severus was brushing the soot off his robes, when suddenly, he was attacked by a rambunctious, messy black-haired teenager.
"Severus!" Arms were suddenly wrapped tight around Severus' waist, almost knocking him over.
Forgetting the cause of his bad mood, Severus was immensely surprised that Harry was hugging him. Harry had never initiated that sort of affection towards Severus before, except for when Severus had woken up in the hospital wing with his teenage son cuddled up against him.
"How are you, kid?" Severus then chuckled, hugging Harry back. Severus noticed Harry's wind-blown hair, the dirt on his clothes, and his Firebolt on the floor.
Harry suddenly stepped back, his cheeks slightly red in embarrassment for his sudden show of affection, but he was still smiling. His green eyes were bright with genuine happiness that Severus was there. And Severus realized how far Harry had grown from the closed-up and depressed teenager he was when Severus first picked him up from Privet Drive.
"I've been playing nothing but Quidditch since I've gotten here!"
"That explains the state of your clothes," Severus observed. "Am I right to assume that you're still not bored of the sport by now?"
"Me, bored of Quidditch? Never!" Harry laughed.
Severus chuckled again. "I'm glad you've had a good time. Go find Draco. I'm taking you boys back to Hogwarts."
"Okay, Sev! And Mrs. Weasley's in the kitchen," Harry called out over his shoulder as he ran back outside in search of Draco.
Severus walked into the kitchen, finding Molly cooking breakfast for her family. "Good morning, Molly. How were the boys?" Severus asked.
"Severus! Nice to see you!" Molly turned and smiled. "The boys were angels. Tea?"
"No thank you, I've already had coffee before I arrived here."
"How are you feeling, dear?" Molly asked.
"Better, not as tired anymore."
"And your magic?"
"I can feel it growing stronger every day. By September it should be back to its full potential."
"That's good, Severus, I'm so glad that you're returning to full health again. Arthur told me about the guardianship transfer, he said we're the only ones in the Order allowed to know. Congrats on your new son, Arthur and I are behind you on this decision. I think it's doing you good to have Harry around, your demeanor is more friendlier, softer. I can also see a change in Harry. Whatever you're doing to help him, I can see it's working."
"Thank you, Molly. I do still feel like I'm making mistakes most of the time," Severus said, feeling shy from the sudden praise. Am I really growing soft?
"You'll always feel like you're making mistakes, Severus, that's what parenting is. No parent is perfect. We just have to trust in ourselves that we're doing the best that we can."
"I'm trying," Severus said. "But I'm not Lily and James Potter."
"You're doing a wonderful job. When Harry first arrived here, he was so closed up and quiet...every time I would touch him, he'd flinched. Now, Harry's more like himself again…more outspoken, happy, he smiles more," Molly said. "As long as that boy's happy, then you're doing okay. Don't be so hard on yourself, you've done more than what those Dursleys have ever done for Harry."
Severus thought about Molly's words, instantly feeling better and less doubtful of how he was caring for Harry. What would Severus do without the Weasleys and their good parenting advice?
"Mum!"
Ronald Weasley burst in through the kitchen door, which slammed open against the outside wall. Severus and Molly were instantly on alert, their wands out and ready.
"Ronald!" Molly said, hurrying to her son.
"What happened?!" Severus demanded.
Please don't let it be Harry or Draco… Please….
"It's Harry! He fell off his broom, there was someone in the trees!"
"Fuck!" Severus shouted. He bolted out the door towards the orchard, running faster than he'd ever ran in his life to get to his son.
Once Severus got to the orchard, the only thing he saw at first were the Weasley children and Draco huddled around. Severus shoved past them to get to Harry, who was laying on the floor with his eyes closed.
Why did I send him back out? I should've kept him with me and called for Draco myself!
"What happened?!" Severus shouted, wanting a better explanation. He knelt down and gently pulled Harry's head onto his lap.
"He's stunned, I think. We were just playing Quidditch, and then Harry flew up onto his broom and was flying fast towards Draco. A green spell flew straight at him. Draco pushed Harry out of the way, and then there was another spell. It hit Harry, knocking him off his broom!" Ginny explained. Her face was pale with shock and fear, causing her freckles to stand out more than ever.
"How high up was he!" Severus shouted.
"About fifteen feet!" one of the twins said.
Draco nodded in agreement, his face pale with shock and his blue-grey eyes wide.
"Severus, what happened?" Molly and Arthur were both running with Ron behind them.
"The wards have been breached! Someone was attacking the kids from the trees!"
"Fred, George, show us the direction!" Arthur shouted, and the group of Weasleys went off to look for the intruder. The Weasley twins flew through the trees on their brooms with their wands out.
Severus waved his wand over Harry, learning that he was in fact stunned.
"Enervate," Severus muttered, hoping his magic was strong enough for the spell.
Severus watched as Harry slowly woke up with a frown.
"Sev?" Harry muttered hoarsely, trying to sit up. "What happened?"
"Stay down for a while, Harry," Severus said gently, laying him back down. "You've had a bad fall."
"Sev! Someone was in the trees! They were firing spells!" Harry gasped.
"Don't worry, Molly, Arthur and the twins are out searching. Just stay down for a few minutes."
"Why is Harry calling Snape, Sev?" Severus heard Weasley whisper to his sister.
"Shut up, Weasley!" Draco shouted at the same time as Ginny saying, "Now's not the time, Ron! Harry's hurt!"
Ignoring them, Severus smoothed down Harry's messy hair and scanned another diagnostic spell, which he'd learned from Madam Pomfrey. It was weak, but it worked.
Severus frowned. "I think you have a concussion. How are you feeling?"
"I have a headache," Harry mumbled, turning over slowly.
"Harry, stay still…" Severus didn't get to finish his sentence... Harry suddenly vomited onto the grass.
"Harry!" Ginny gasped.
"I got to get you to the hospital wing!" Severus said. "Draco, fly ahead, grab your stuff and Harry's. Meet me by the fireplace!"
Draco quickly nodded, and immediately hopped onto Harry's Firebolt, speeding towards the Burrow. Severus lifted Harry into his arms and stood up.
"Sev…no… I can walk!" Harry protested weakly.
Severus ignored him and started walking as fast and carefully as he could towards the Burrow. Ron and Ginny following behind him, carrying their brooms and Draco's.
By the time Severus arrived, Draco was packed and ready. "Is Harry going to be okay?" the Slytherin asked as Ginny handed him his broomstick. He clenched it tight alongside Harry's Firebolt.
Severus nodded. "I just need to get him to Madam Pomfrey. She can cure him in a minute."
Draco looked relieved. "Hang in there, Potter," he said.
Harry mumbled something in return, Severus couldn't hear him. He looked down and noticed Harry closing his eyes. "No, stay awake, son!" Severus said.
"Why? I'm tired," Harry complained in a sleepy voice.
"No, I want you to tell Weasley about the wonski feint thing you like so much."
"Okay… Ron, it's a move for seekers and..." Harry continued.
"Keep talking to him," Severus said to Ron, who nodded and started conversing with Harry.
Severus handed some floo powder to Draco. "Go first, quickly, and run to Madam Pomfrey. Tell her what has happened and that I'm coming with Harry. Then, I want you to find Professor Dumbledore. Alert him on what's happened. Do you understand?"
Draco nodded and threw the floo powder into the fireplace, shouting, "Professor Snape's office, Hogwarts!" And disappeared through the green flames.
Ginny grabbed some floo powder as soon as Draco was gone. "I'll throw it in for you, Professor," she said. "Please let us know that Harry's okay, as soon as you can!" Ginny's eyes were shining with tears, but her face showed that she was trying to remain brave for Harry.
"I want you two to stay here and lock the door. Have your wands out until your parents and the twins are back," Severus said, shifting Harry gently in his arms for a better grip. "I'll have someone come back in an hour to check on you." The Weasleys both nodded at Severus' words.
"You'll be okay, mate," Ron smiled, who was still busy trying to keep Harry in conservation so he wouldn't fall asleep. "You have to be, so that next time we see each other, you can tell me why Snape is calling you his son."
"Professor Snape's office, Hogwarts!" Ginny shouted as she threw floo powder into the fireplace.
The green flames surrounded Severus as he felt himself go through the floo network with his son in his arms to Hogwarts.
.
.
"What happened to Harry!" Lupin shouted, rushing over to Harry's bedside as Severus laid him gently down onto a hospital bed.
"My head hurts…" Harry muttered in a voice so low, Severus could barely hear him.
"I know… I know… Madam Pomfrey is coming. Just stay awake a little longer, kid," Severus whispered to him. "Tell me more about those wonskie feint things. What else do you read in that Quidditch book of yours?"
Harry muttered something in response. His voice was so low Severus still couldn't hear him, but he was talking. Seeing that his eyes were half-closed, Severus laid a hand on Harry's shoulder, gently shaking him awake.
Harry opened his eyes wide, looking up at Lupin first, then at Severus in confusion.
"Keep looking at me, Harry."
As Severus spoke to Harry, trying to keep him awake, he could feel Lupin's hazel-green eyes on him, silently waiting for an explanation. Severus was instantly reminded of his dream, the one he'd worked so hard to forget.
Madam Pomfrey hurried to Harry's bed with a potion in her hand.
"I can't believe someone would just attack a group of children in broad daylight!" Madam Pomfrey looked into Harry's eyes with the bright light of her wand. "One pupil is dilated. Harry, what are you feeling, dear?"
"Headache…" Harry mumbled. "I'm tired…"
"He'd lost consciousness and threw up, I've been trying to keep him awake," Severus explained as Madam Pomfrey performed a few spells on Harry's head, then uncorked a potion, holding it up for Harry to take.
"Harry has a severe concussion, this should fix it up in no time," she told Severus and Lupin, who was watching everything silently with wide eyes.
Severus watched Harry look at the potion in confusion.
"Drink it, dear, it's for your concussion. It will heal it in a minute," Madam Pomfrey said, holding it near his lips.
"Do as she says, come on… I'm right here, Harry. It'll take your headache away." Severus squeezed Harry's shoulder, then letting him go, giving Harry and Madam Pomfrey space.
Madam Pomfrey held the small vile up as Harry drank the potion.
"He fell off his broom," Severus finally said tonelessly to Lupin, not meeting the werewolf's eyes, nor even looking at him. Just the very presence of the werewolf here at Harry's bedside was annoying Severus immensely. He was still angry about their argument, of Lupin accusing him of ignoring a person in pain.
He only sees me as that stupid Death Eater kid I once was… Well then, he's still that little cowardly puppy of Black's and Potter's!
That thought caused Severus' heart to beat faster than usual, and he tried to push away his feelings, tried to calm down his fast-beating heart. Severus didn't have time to be getting worked up over the stupid wolf, not when Harry needed him most.
"Close your eyes, take deep breaths until I tell you to stop," Madam Pomfrey instructed to Harry. She waved her wand, reading Harry's vitals. "You may open your eyes now," she said after a good few minutes. Harry opened his eyes, and Madam Pomfrey shined her wand light into them again, checking his pupils. "Pupils are back to normal, and everything's telling me it's safe for you to rest now. Your concussion is gone. I want you to stay in bed for the rest of the day."
"How do you feel, Harry?" Lupin asked, his voice full of concern. Harry looked at him, surprised that Lupin was at his side.
Severus watched Harry's eyes darken, a sign that he was mentally closing up. Looking down, Harry muttered, "I'm fine."
Severus frowned at Harry's behavior. He knew that trick... The I'm not telling you anything act.
Severus sighed. Of course Harry wasn't going to trust the wolf after everything that's happened. Severus put his hand back on Harry's shoulder. "Tell us how you feel," Severus asked again with a hint of authority in his voice, showing Harry that he better not lie.
"My headache's gone… I'm feeling loads better, but still tired," Harry said, not looking at Lupin who frowned at Harry's distant behavior.
Madam Pomfrey performed another diagnostic scan on Harry, then said, "Make sure he gets some sleep, Severus." She handed him a small potion of Dreamless Sleep. "I'm going to see if Albus needs anything before I check in on the Weasley children."
Severus nodded his thanks, then the matron disappeared through the hospital wing doors.
"Can you stay with me, Sev?" Harry asked.
Severus looked at his young charge, who looked tired and beaten up. His heart went out to him, so Severus pulled up a chair and sat down. "Just until you fall asleep."
"We're both here for you, cub," Lupin said gently.
Harry finally looked at the werewolf. "You're finally awake," he said.
Lupin nodded, gently pulling Harry into a hug. "And I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you now."
Harry's body stiffened at first, then he glanced shyly at Severus before relaxing, hugging Lupin back.
Seeing the two hugging each other ignited a spark of rage inside Severus. How dare Lupin hug Harry and act all concerned, when in reality, he'd left Harry to deal with his grief over Black's death on his own! Severus was taken over by parental instinct he never knew he had to protect his son. It caused Severus to glare darkly at Lupin, hoping he'll get the message that if he ever hurts Harry again like that, then Severus was going to hex him into oblivion.
Lupin frowned at Severus' glare as he and Harry finally let go. Harry laid back down into his pillows. Lupin pulled up a chair by Harry's bedside, sitting down as he asked, "What happened, cub?"
"I don't really remember. The Weasleys, Draco and I were all out in the orchard. I was flying towards Draco to tell him that Severus was here to pick us up."
"Draco? Malfoy's kid?"
Harry nodded. "Yeah, he's been staying with me and Sev."
"You and Sev?" Lupin frowned, glancing at Severus who was still giving him his death stare.
"Yeah... It's a long story, Remus," Harry sighed.
Lupin shook his head. "It's fine you can tell me about that some other time. Just tell me how you got hurt."
"I was flying towards Draco when a spell shot out through the trees. Draco flew towards me and pushed me out of the way. My broom was spinning in the air, cus of the push, and I couldn't dodge the other spell. That's all I remember until I woke up on the ground and Severus was with me."
"You were stunned," Severus said. They both turned towards Severus. "We were lucky it wasn't anything else."
"Did you find out who it was?" Lupin asked Severus.
"I don't know. Arthur, Molly and the twins went to search for the attacker. I didn't stay long to find out," Severus replied. He then spoke to Harry. "You don't remember seeing anyone?"
"No, it happened too fast."
"That's okay, cub, we'll see what the Weasleys have to say," Lupin said. "You really should get some rest now."
Severus glared at the werewolf again. He was sick of Lupin being here, acting all concerned for Harry.
"Lupin, are you even allowed to be out of bed!" Severus snapped before he could stop himself.
Harry scowled at Severus. "Leave him alone, Severus!"
Severus only rolled his eyes, handing Harry the Dreamless Sleep Potion.
"Get some sleep, son, this should help you," Severus said, glaring at Lupin, not missing the surprised and confused look Lupin shot at him at the word son; the reaction Severus was hoping for.
Harry missed the exchange between them as he drank the potion.
Once Harry was done, Severus vanished the empty vial. Harry suddenly held onto Severus' arm tightly, not letting go.
"Stay…" Harry whispered.
"Until you fall asleep," Severus promised again.
Severus could see that the teen was fighting to stay awake, but after a few moments, Harry was fast asleep. Severus stayed still for a while until his arm grew numb, and he gently pulled his arm out of Harry's grasp. Severus took off Harry's shoes, then transfigured his clothes into the standard striped hospital pajamas, taking the round glasses off Harry's face and placing them on the bedside table. Severus then pulled the covers closer to his sleeping son, avoiding Lupin's gaze the whole time. The air was tense and heavy between them.
"Do you have a staring problem, wolf?" Severus snapped in annoyance.
Lupin frowned, his eyes now on Harry. "I've missed a lot since I was gone, haven't I?"
"Well then, I guess you should've stayed with Harry after Black died, instead of going off on that useless mission!" Severus snapped.
Lupin flinched at Severus' words. "Harry wasn't the only person who lost him that night," Lupin whispered.
"Exactly! He wasn't!" Severus snapped. "You both lost him, Lupin! Both of you! And Harry needed you to talk to him about Black's death!" Severus shouted. "He needed you and you weren't there! Instead, you'd decided to go on some pointless mission, knowing full well you might be killed. And you didn't even stop to think that you would be leaving Harry behind! You didn't stop to think how it would affect him if he lost you too!"
Harry suddenly stirred in his sleep, forcing Severus to pause in his ranting. He gently ran his fingers through Harry's dark hair, until Harry turned on his stomach and fell back to sleep. Once Severus was sure the sleeping teen wasn't going to wake up, he stood up and grabbed the werewolf by the arm, dragging him outside of the hospital wing, out into the empty corridor.
Severus left the door slightly open to keep an eye on his sleeping son, casting a silencing spell around them so they wouldn't wake up Harry.
"Severus, I know what I did was selfish," Lupin said.
"Yes, selfish, Lupin! Selfish, idiotic, and cowardly! Do you even know the mental state Harry was in when I had found him?! If it weren't for Albus forcing me to check on him, who knew what could've happened! We could've lost him! And where were you? Living among the fucking werewolves!"
Lupin frowned, looking guilty and sad. "I didn't know… I didn't know his mental health was that bad. I had thought Harry was better off without me."
"Of course it was bad, you stupid wolf! You'd left him to deal with his grief on his own! I found him depressed, abused, and he was fucking cutting himself!" Severus shouted. "He was fucking suicidal, Lupin!"
"Severus, what are you saying?!" Lupin shouted, horrified at what he was learning of Harry.
"Listen to me, Lupin! I want you to listen, because if I hadn't come that night to check on Harry, he would've died at Privet Drive. And it would've been your fault!" Severus was shouting again. "I had to take him in and earn his fucking trust. Do you have any idea how fucking stubborn Harry is? I had to help him through his grief and depression! I've worked hard to get him to open up, to make sure he stopped fucking cutting himself! Everything that I've done for the boy this past summer, it should've been fucking you, Lupin! Harry was counting on you and you've fucking failed him!"
Lupin suddenly leaned against the wall, sliding down to the floor. Severus had just realized that Lupin must still be feeling weak, and that perhaps dragging him out to the corridor might've been too much. Perhaps Severus was too harsh, after all it wasn't as if Lupin went on bloody vacation.
Lupin's eyes were suddenly bright with tears, they started to roll slowly down his cheeks as he took in everything Severus was saying about Harry. And Severus instantly regretted shouting at him, making him feel bad. If Lupin hadn't gone on that mission, then Severus wouldn't have had the chance to get to know Harry, to gain a small family. And he didn't want Lupin to think that taking on Harry was a burden to Severus.
"Look, Lupin…" Severus sighed in frustration.
Severus still hated Lupin's guts, he still couldn't stand being around him. Especially with that fucking dream still in his mind that had shaken him, but Severus knew he'd went overboard. Severus shouldn't have shouted so harshly, and he hated that he was feeling a bit bad for it.
And it killed Severus a little bit inside to say, "I'm… I apologize if I was too harsh… I'm just looking out for Harry. Don't worry about him, he's in good hands now. And yes, it took a lot of work to get him to open up…but I love him like a son now… We're kind of forming our own little family… I know you'll always be a part of Harry's life, to my displeasure. And if he allows it, then you can always visit and spend time with him, but only on my terms. And if Harry's ever hurt by you, then I'll provoke any privileges of you seeing him!"
The wolf quickly wiped his tears away, glaring at Severus. "What gives you the right to have a say in who spends time with Harry?"
"I'm his official guardian now."
Lupin looked at him in shock. "So... Harry doesn't have to return to the Dursleys anymore?"
Severus shook his head. "I had them transfer their guardianship to me. As soon as I receive the certificate in a matter of days, then it's official that Harry's my son and I'm his guardian, or even father, once he gets used to the idea."
"I can't believe this is real. It explains how Harry was with you just now."
Lupin ran his fingers through his golden hair, trying to get used to all that he'd learned. He then looked up and glared at Severus with those eyes that for some reason made Severus' legs go numb.
Stop thinking about the dream! Severus berated himself.
"You've hated Harry for years! What made you have a change of heart?"
"I got past seeing James Potter over the summer and got to know the person Harry is. He's more like Lily in fact."
Lupin nodded. "I see her every time in him. Forgive me, Severus. I was a fool, a bloody fool, and everything you've said was true. You're the only one who had the decency to even tell it to my face and I thank you. For now on, I promise I'll be there for Harry."
"That's all I want from you, be there for Harry. No more taking off on useless missions. And I'm not the one you should even be apologizing to right now, save it for Harry."
"Once he wakes, I'll talk to him," Lupin said. "Please, tell me more about what happened after I'd left. You said Harry was being suicidal and cutting himself?!"
"His uncle was beating him too," Severus frowned, not sure how much information Harry wanted Lupin to know, then he figured Lupin had a right to know.
Sighing in defeat, Severus told Lupin everything he and Harry went through this past summer. The state Harry was in that first night, the injuries he had. Some of the things Harry had revealed about his childhood. The fights they had, the camping trip, and the self-harm habit Harry had fallen under. Severus told Lupin about the strong mental brick wall that he'd found in Harry's head. The emotional meltdowns Severus had helped Harry through. The time Harry had gotten carried away with cutting up his arm, landing himself in the hospital wing.
But Severus didn't go into much detail about the memories he'd seen in Harry's head, the voices he'd heard behind that brick wall. He also didn't mention Harry's suicide attempt, because Severus felt like those were topics Harry should personally tell Lupin. Once he was done, Lupin was shaking in rage, and Severus could see the shadow of the wolf on his face. His hazel-green eyes were now flecked with gold.
"I'm going to kill that bastard!" Lupin shouted. He had gotten up off the floor sometime during Severus' explanation and was now pacing the corridor angrily.
"There's no need, I've already dealt with Dursley!" Severus scowled in annoyance. "Would you calm down, Lupin!"
Lupin stopped pacing and turned towards the window. He was quiet now, for a long time. Severus fought the urge to turn Lupin around, to ask him what he was thinking about. To look into those eyes, and lose himself in the swirl of hazel and green flecked with gold.
And Severus' dream pushed itself back to the forefront of his mind, of Lupin huddled against the wall, chained and broken under the moonlight. Lupin's whispered breath in Severus' ear. Severus felt his face grow warm at the memory, forcing it away once more, making sure his mental mask was still in place. And Severus was thankful that Lupin's back was to him, so that he didn't see Severus blushing.
Why do I keep having these thoughts about Lupin? What's wrong with me? Severus thought in disgust. I'm supposed to be bloody annoyed at him about yesterday!
"I'm giving you my blessing, Severus, as the last Marauder alive. Judging on what you've said, the state Harry was in and what I've seen between you two, Harry needs you. He loves you, I can tell by how he doesn't hold back his feelings when you ask him how he's doing. And the way Harry clung on to you... I can't offer him as much as you can, but I promise I'll be there for him like an uncle or even a godfather, if he's okay with that. I'll also talk to Harry about Sirius' death as soon as I can, that way he knows he isn't alone."
"Nice speech, Lupin, but like I've already said, don't waste your breath on me. Tell it to Harry and prove that what you're saying is true to him. Prove it to Harry, then you'll have a place in this family. I may not like you, Lupin, but I'm willing to tolerate you for the sake of my son."
"Your son? That's hard to hear... But I'll get used to it," Lupin said, finally turning around to face him, and Severus could see that the wolf was no longer present in his face. His eyes were no longer flecked with gold, only hazel and green like a wooded forest.
Severus could only nod his head once... His heart was beating too fast and his stomach was suddenly feeling queasy.
"I…have to go find Draco… Can…"
"I'll be at Harry's side," Lupin said.
Severus watched Lupin go back inside the hospital wing, the intense anger and hatred he'd felt towards Lupin was fading away. Severus was starting to realize how much Harry meant to Lupin. The pain and guilt in Lupin's reaction to what Severus had revealed to him was genuine and intense, accepting Severus' harsh words, and showing a determination to make it all up to Harry.
And Severus realized, that maybe Remus Lupin wasn't a coward after all...
Lupin proved that to Severus when he'd bravely accepted Severus' harsh criticism, accepted that what he did was wrong, and bravely vowed to make up for it. Severus knew how sometimes pride could make a person never want to admit the mistakes they've made, but Lupin was brave enough to own up to his.
Also, Severus was starting to see that perhaps he might have an ally in Lupin as another person to have Harry's best interest at heart, someone Severus could trust to love Harry as much as he did.
And with that realization, the icy coldness in Severus' heart that caused him to hate Lupin, began to melt.
Remus found himself sitting besides Nymphadora Tonks as they were currently in an Order of the Phoenix meeting, which was taking place inside the room behind the staff table in the Great Hall. The Order members were all talking about what just happened that very morning. Harry had been attacked, and they were trying to figure out who was behind it.
The Weasley twins described everything that happened. How Draco Malfoy shoved Harry away, but wasn't able to dodge the second spell. How the Weasleys searched the whole orchard, but the culprit was gone, not a trace behind. Everyone was now currently in several arguments on who it could be.
"Remus, I'm so glad you're okay!" Nymphadora Tonks muttered closely to him as they watched the arguing Order members from where they were sitting. "We were searching non-stop for you, but we've failed… I'm so sorry it took so long…"
"It's okay, Tonks, really… Severus found me."
Tonks gave Remus a small smile. Her hair was dark purple and fixed into two short French braids. She was dressed in her Auror robes, and her eyes were sky-blue, filled with relief and happiness to be sitting near Remus who was very much alive and doing well.
Tonks then glanced at Severus who was sitting by Minerva McGonagall, dressed in his usual black robes and glaring intensely at Alastor Moody as they conversed.
"I know I'm no longer a student here, but Snape still scares me," Tonks shuddered.
"He's not as scary as he seems," Remus laughed.
"Remus, I'm sorry about Sirius. You know he was my cousin, right?"
Remus nodded. "How could I forget Sirius' little annoying cousin?"
Tonks laughed. "I was endearing!"
Remus smiled, then the joking conversation between them grew somber.
"Tonks, how are you taking Sirius' death?"
Tonks shrugged. "It's hard. I was just getting close to him, you know when he wasn't hiding up in his room. I've grown up hearing so many stories about him from my mother. It was like I knew him before I've met him, and I did…and then he was gone…" Tears suddenly welled up in her eyes. Remus pulled her into a hug.
"Remus, thanks. I'm okay now. I promise. I don't want to cause a scene." Tonks quickly wiped her tears away, turning her head to see if anyone saw her crying. "Ahh, just as I'd thought, they're all too busy arguing amongst each other to notice my little breakdown."
"Tonks, do you want to hang out soon, so can we talk about Sirius properly?"
"Yes, I would love to, Remus."
"Are you sure it wasn't Narcissa Malfoy!" Alastor Moody shouted at Dumbledore. His voice was so loud, it tore Remus and Tonks away from their quiet conversation. "You've let that woman inside the castle, whose son happened to be there during the attack!"
"I can assure you on Draco's behalf, he had nothing to do with it!" Severus snarled at the old Auror. "You should've seen the boy. He was frightened at the thought of Potter being hurt."
"And he saved Harry from the first spell," George Weasley added. "We've been spending time with Malfoy, he's an okay bloke."
"You guys are fools for trusting those Malfoys, even if they seem alright to you. You all forget about constant vigilance!"
A couple of the members agreed with Alastor Moody, some shook their heads in disagreement.
"What do you think, Lupin?" Alastor Moody asked Remus, who tried not to blush from being put under the spotlight.
Severus' dark gaze was suddenly on Remus for the first time since they've both walked into the room, causing Remus to be tongue-tied. Remus then felt a soft nudge of his shoulder, and turned slightly to see Tonks winking at him in encouragement.
"I think someone's after Harry. Someone close to us, to have gone through the wards without setting them off. I don't think Draco had anything to do with it. As for Narcissa, I wouldn't blame you if you didn't trust her," Remus said.
"So you're saying it could be Narcissa scheming without Draco knowing? Or it's possible we have a spy?" Tonks asked.
The Order members gasped at the idea of a spy amongst them. This meeting reminded Remus of the first war, when there was a spy in the Order, and none of them suspected Peter Pettigrew. They all thought it was Remus, just because he was a werewolf.
Chasing those negative thoughts away, Remus nodded. "It sounds like something Narcissa would do. It could explain why she's suddenly switched sides. Maybe her aim was to earn our trust, then attack from the inside."
Remus' input gave the Order members more to discuss about, their attention finally away from Remus.
"Thanks, Tonks, that was unbearable," Remus whispered.
"I didn't know you were shy," Tonks replied, her sky-blue eyes suddenly turning into hazel.
"Yeah… I kinda am," Remus smiled.
"Tonks!" Alastor shouted.
"Ugh, my dear mentor needs me!" Tonks sighed as she stood up out of her chair. Standing over Remus, Tonks placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'll owl you about our hangout plans. It was really nice talking to you, Remus. Please take care of yourself."
Remus nodded, looking up into her hazel eyes. "I will, Tonks. It was nice seeing you too."
Tonks smiled back at Remus before leaving him to join Alastor's side.
Sitting alone now, Remus felt someone staring at him. He looked up and noticed Severus from where he was standing, talking to Albus and Minerva. Severus' black eyes were indeed on him. Remus locked eyes with him, curiously wondering why the Potions Master was staring at him.
Severus looked away, keeping his eyes on Albus this time. It was strange, Remus had felt the coldness and hatred coming off from Severus when they were in the courtyard, but today it was something else… Severus no longer hated Remus. Severus just seemed annoyed at Remus every time they would cross paths.
Remus wondered what that meant. Maybe, Severus was trying to get over everything that'd happened between him and the Marauders so he could accept Remus. After all, they were now linked together through Harry. Severus must've realized that Remus wasn't going anywhere as long as Harry was in Severus' life.
Maybe, he's trying to tolerate me for Harry? Remus thought, realizing he was still looking at the Potions Master, whose eyes were still avoiding him. Maybe, there's a chance we can start over as friends? Just let the past go?
Remus couldn't help but think how different Severus was now, how much Harry had changed him. His demeanor was softer, no matter how hard Severus tried to hide it behind that mental mask of his that Remus could clearly see. And not just his demeanor and attitude had changed, but his looks as well. Remus couldn't help but notice how different Severus' physique was compared to how he was in school. Also his hair was not as oily as it once was from potion fumes, it now looked a bit cleaner and healthier, even...
Suddenly, Remus' eyes connected with dark eyes again, and he turned away blushing. Severus Snape just caught Remus checking him out….
Remus shook his head and stood up, leaning on his cane. The meeting was dispersing, everyone was leaving with their tasks and missions to figure out who the culprit was. Luckily, Remus wasn't assigned to anything this time, so he left the Order meeting without anyone noticing, slowly making his way towards the hospital wing and hoping Harry was awake so Remus could talk to him.
Remus opened the door and saw Harry stirring. He sat on the edge of the bed, placing his cane against the mattress.
"Hey, cub," Remus said quietly.
"Remus?" Harry whispered, opening his eyes and looking at the werewolf. "Where's my dad?" he mumbled.
Remus handed Harry his glasses, trying not to feel hurt from Harry immediately asking for Severus. Remus reminded himself that it was a good thing that Severus and Harry had each other now, but he couldn't help feeling a little bit jealous. If it weren't for him being a werewolf, then Remus would have easily been in Severus' place.
"Severus is still at the Order meeting. Are you feeling better?"
"Yeah... How did the meeting go?"
"We're trying to figure out who'd attacked you, but we're no closer to figuring it out than to ending the war anytime soon."
Harry sighed. "I hope they're not blaming Draco."
"Some did, but your father put a stop to it."
"You know about Severus and me?"
Remus nodded. "I understand, Harry, and I'm sorry I wasn't there for you like I should've been after Sirius died. I was selfish, only thinking about my own grief."
"It's okay, Remus. I'm just glad you're back here safe."
"It's not okay. Severus told me everything that happened, everything I've missed. I shouldn't have left you alone."
"He's told you?" Harry asked, anger lacing his words.
Remus nodded. "Don't be angry at him, cub. He told me only because it was for the best. Severus knew I had to know because I love you. I'm going to be here from now on, I promise."
Harry nodded, not saying a word. And Remus guessed this was what Severus had told him about, of Harry closing up, hiding behind that brick wall, not letting anyone in. And it hurt Remus to be casted away on the other side, yet he knew he deserved it for not dealing with Sirius' death properly, for not helping Harry, for just disappearing. What did Remus expect, really? Everything Severus had shouted at him was true, and Remus had to accept the consequences of it and try his best to make it all up for Harry.
"I mean it, cub, if you ever need to talk, I'll be there. If you ever need to take a break from Severus, I'll be there. Just please, give me a chance?"
Harry didn't say anything, nor reacted. He kept his green eyes casted down onto his lap. Remus just wanted to hug his cub, to show Harry how much he was loved, and there was no need to protect himself from Remus. He was never going to hurt Harry like the Dursleys had. But then, Remus remembered the way Harry's body had stiffened when Remus hugged him earlier that morning. The hug Harry had given him in return was hesitant and light, as if Harry was uncomfortable. Remus decided to just not touch him.
"Harry, I never got to talk to you about Sirius," Remus said quietly, hoping this overdue topic of conversation might get Harry to at least look at him.
"We don't have to, Remus, it's fine. I don't really want to talk right now."
"Just listen okay… You don't have to respond."
Harry only nodded, his eyes still avoiding Remus.
"You do know Sirius was proud of you, he really was. So don't doubt that for a second, Harry. He'd loved you. I've never seen him so different, so changed when you were with him…"
And those words were true. Before Sirius died, his experience of being locked away in Azkaban had changed him. Sirius Black was a ghost of his former self before he'd died. Remus would always find him drinking in the empty and dark rooms of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, and Sirius was mean when he was drunk. Sirius always took out his pain and anger on Remus, leading to the worst arguments they've ever had. Remus' heart constricted in pain at those terrible memories.
But when Harry was around Sirius, Sirius would somehow climb himself out of his black hole of despair and pain. Sirius would pull himself together, even stop drinking. He'll shower, eat, comb his hair, and even talk to the other Order members. He'll stop hiding himself. And Sirius would be affectionate towards Remus again, apologizing for all the cruel things he had said to him, for all the nasty fights they had when he was drunk, and Remus would forgive him every time.
When Harry was at Number 12 Grimmauld Place, Remus had his old Sirius back. Only Harry had that effect on Sirius, something Remus could never do. Remus somehow wanted to tell Harry that without revealing the worst parts of Sirius Black, but he didn't know how.
"And Sirius sacrificed himself to protect you. I think it was how he'd wanted to go, dying for the person he'd loved most. So please, don't think for a second that it was your fault. Sirius died a noble death, an honorable one, and now we must repay him by trying to enjoy the life he gave us."
Harry nodded, deep in thought at what Remus said. "Thanks, Remus," he said quietly.
Remus smiled. "For what, cub?"
"For talking to me about Sirius… I mean Severus and I had this conversation before, but I was waiting for you."
"Harry, I'm sorry that I've left you… I'm so sorry…"
"It really wasn't my fault that Sirius died?" Harry whispered. His hair in his face, his eyes still casted down to his lap. "I keep replaying over and over in my head all the things I should've done that could've led to a different outcome, to a path where I didn't kill Sirius. It was my fault, Remus. I was so stupid to go to the Ministry."
"It wasn't anyone's fault. It was Sirius' own choice to go to you that night, and he'd made his choice out of his love for you. He wouldn't have had it any other way. No one could've stopped him, believe me, I had tried that night. Harry, please understand his death wasn't your fault, it just happened."
Harry barely gave a reaction to Remus' words, only nodding once in acknowledgment. And Remus wished Harry could just look at him, but he didn't want to push him. Remus could see what Severus meant, could understand his frustration when he'd mentioned Harry's stubbornness.
"And if you ever feel like you need to talk about Sirius or if you're just missing him too much, come to me, okay. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not disappearing again. You can trust me, Harry."
The next few days went by quickly for Harry. He was finally out of the hospital wing and so was Remus, who'd finally moved into his new quarters. Remus had told Harry that he was going to be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. Remus was always Harry's favorite Defense Professor, and that lifted up his mood a bit. He wasn't allowed to leave Severus' quarters until Narcissa was out of the castle. If it weren't for Draco staying with Harry and Severus, Harry would've been bored out of his mind.
During the time of Draco's stay, their truce had somehow formed into a friendship. Harry and Draco had somehow worked past their differences, and realized they had so much in common. Draco was so easy to talk to. They were both obsessed with Quidditch. Their arguments always resulted in pillow fights that were so epic, it caused Severus to come into their room several times and scold them for being chaotic. Harry even showed Draco his favorite summer snack, S'mores, which Draco liked, but didn't appreciate the messiness of it. They could also spend hours playing chess and exploding snap until there was a clear winner and a clear loser, as they were both very highly competitive with each other. And Draco was still a bit snobby and annoying at times, but Harry could see the person Draco really was underneath his prickly exterior. Draco was just a kid who was trapped with the wrong side of the war, who wanted more than anything to escape it.
And Harry didn't see it coming, the moment his and Draco's friendship would end just like that. It was a normal evening after dinner as the two boys played exploding snap in the living room, while Severus was in his favorite armchair, reading. They didn't expect a sudden visit from Dumbledore with news of Narcissa and Draco moving to a safe house under the Fidelius charm that very night. Draco was expected to return for the new school term on September 1st.
Now Harry was sitting on his desk chair, watching Draco pack, feeling down-hearted that he was losing his friend. Even though Draco was coming back in a few weeks for school, it wasn't going to be the same. Draco had to keep up his reputation if he was ever going to survive the Slytherin common rooms.
"Don't look so glum, Potter. If I would've known you'd fall in love with me, then I would've just stayed at Malfoy Manor!" Draco teased.
"Yeah, like snogging me would be the worst thing ever." Harry rolled his eyes, missing the blush creeping up on Draco's cheeks.
Speaking of snogging, Harry briefly wondered what could've happened on his birthday if Severus hadn't interrupted him and Ginny. Harry was going to kiss her, she was so close. Then he'd lost his chance. Harry wasn't even sure if he'll ever get another chance to kiss Ginny again. He wasn't even sure when he started liking her, when she suddenly became more than just Ron's little sister.
"Draco, are you almost done? Your mother is waiting for you in the Great Hall," Severus said, knocking on the door before opening it.
"Yeah, I'm just about ready," Draco sighed as he closed up his suitcase.
Draco was suddenly standing in front of Harry, their eyes locked, and Harry could see the sudden sorrow that Draco must've been hiding until now.
"I'll leave you two alone," Severus said, sensing the tensed sadness between them.
"Draco, when we're back at school, and you're acting like a git again, I won't forget the real you," Harry choked out. "I'll let the Weasleys know what happened, so they won't hate you. Just tone down the insults this year, especially with Remus. He had a tough summer."
"I will, but I'm not promising to lay off completely. I have to keep up my cover, you know? It's bad enough that I might get picked on for my mom suddenly switching sides. They are gonna be watching, the ones who have Death Eaters as parents. I can't let them see me acting differently towards you. Then You-Know-Who might think I've betrayed him as well, and go after my parents… I can't let that happen."
"Why can't you just change sides? Dumbledore's already protecting you and your mom. He can protect your dad too, if that's what you want, if that's what it takes to bring you to our side. Dumbledore would understand. He's a believer in people changing, he gave Severus a second chance."
Draco frowned and shook his head. "No, Harry. It's much too complicated, I just can't. It has to be this way."
But why? Harry wanted to ask. Harry felt like he was missing something, that there was another reason to why Draco and his parents just couldn't take Dumbledore's full protection.
He's hiding something from me….
Draco didn't say anything more, just stared into Harry's eyes for a few moments. In those stormy grey-blue eyes, Harry could see how much Draco wanted to confide in him, how much it was hurting Draco to stay silent. Harry was right, there was something Draco wasn't telling him.
"Draco…" Harry said. "You don't have to keep whatever you're hiding to yourself. Maybe... I can help…"
Draco only shook his head, pulling Harry into a tight hug.
"Just take care of yourself, go to Severus if you feel like cutting. Stay out of trouble, don't do anything stupid. And remember, throughout the year, when I'm being a bullying git, I'm only keeping up an act. I don't mean anything I'm saying."
Harry could only hug him back, his heart breaking at the thought of him and Draco acting like enemies again. Of the silent pleas of help Harry saw in Draco's eyes, and there was nothing he could do about it… And Harry hated that feeling. He refused to accept that. So, Harry vowed to himself that he would try at least, he would try everything in his power to find out the secret Draco was harboring inside and help him…whatever it was. Harry wasn't going to just let Draco go.
"When this's all over, and You-Know-Who's gone, we'll be friends again. Do you promise to remember that?" Draco said as they finally let go, his words caused Harry to finally smile.
"It'll be like we've never stopped being friends. See you on the other side of the war, Malfoy."
"I'll be there, waiting for you first, Potter." Draco squeezed his arm briefly, then left the room.
Harry stayed where he was as he heard Severus and Draco saying their goodbyes in the living room, he heard the sound of the portrait door opening and closing. Then the silence and emptiness came, and never before had Harry's room felt so big and empty.
Harry sat back down on his desk chair, then stood up, not knowing what to do with himself, so he sat down on his bed, feeling lost. Harry was getting used to having the Slytherin around, and then just like that, Draco was gone. And now Harry was thinking he would give up anything to just have him back.
There was a soft knock on the door. Harry looked up to see Severus standing at the door frame.
"You okay, son?"
Harry nodded. "I miss him already."
"You'll see him at school."
"Yeah, but it won't be the same… You know that…"
Severus nodded in understanding, sitting down on the desk chair.
"This war won't last forever. It's going to come to an end, and you and Draco will have all the time in the world to be friends."
Despite what Severus just said, Harry knew that was it. The end of the war didn't guarantee their survival. Once the war ended, nothing was ever going to be the same again. This might've been the very last time Harry and Draco spoke to each other as friends. Harry was losing Draco, and that feeling inside was so terrible, it left an ache in his heart and throat.
"He's going to be okay," Severus said.
"It's not fair, Severus," Harry said. "He doesn't want anything to do with this war. Draco doesn't want to be on Voldemort's side. Why can't Dumbledore just switch his house? That way he doesn't have to blend in with the Slytherins. Why can't his family be under Dumbledore's full protection? Narcissa is already under it, why can't Draco and his father be too?"
"It's not as easy as that," Severus said. "Draco's doing this to protect himself and his parents. He's afraid of the Dark Lord finding his mom, of punishing his father even more. He has to keep up this act that he's still on their side, despite his mother's choice, the Dark Lord will be making sure the Death Eaters' children are watching every step Draco takes. And Dumbledore and I also have to make sure Draco keeps up the act, just for this year at least…"
"Why?" Harry asked, his attention now fully on Severus. There it was again, the thing that Harry knew Draco was hiding. Severus knew about it!
Severus sighed, as if he were fighting with himself to not go on.
"Please...tell me," Harry pleaded.
"What I'm about to say, cannot leave this room," Severus said quietly, his voice suddenly very serious. "Tell no one. It's too important, do you understand, Harry?"
"I understand," Harry said.
"Draco was assigned a task by the Dark Lord. I'm not going to say what it is, only that it's very dangerous. If Draco doesn't complete it, then there are going to be terrible consequences for him and his family."
"Severus, you have to tell me, maybe we can help him. I don't want Draco to think that he's alone in this. He's terrified, I just saw it in his eyes before he left! We can't just let Draco go like that!"
Severus shook his head slowly. "No, Harry. This is too big for you to get involved in, too delicate. You must leave this to me and Dumbledore. I'm just telling you why Draco must contain his cover to the Slytherins while at school. Draco can't give the Dark Lord any doubt of his loyalties, not with this task hanging over him. The task is also why we think Narcissa's lying about her suddenly switching sides, she's possibly faking it to receive my help for Draco, she doesn't want her son to fail. Narcissa thinks she's under our protection, but we're really holding her, waiting until she gives a hint of her true intentions."
"Are you really going to help Draco fulfill it? How dangerous is it? What if something happens to Draco? To you?"
"Harry, I'll be watching over Draco, so don't you worry. I won't let anything happen to him. I want you to trust me on this."
It wasn't an answer to his question of how dangerous the task may be. Harry knew there was more information Severus wasn't telling him. The whole thing with Narcissa, and this task… And why would Narcissa want Severus' help? Why did she have to pretend to change her loyalties to receive it? Wasn't Severus a spy? Shouldn't she think Severus was on her side already? There were just gaping holes in everything, it was making Harry feel frustrated.
Harry was tired of all these secrets, of not knowing anything, of people telling him to blindly trust them. Why couldn't Severus just tell him what was fully going on with Draco and his task? Why all the bloody secrets? Didn't Severus think Harry was capable of handling the truth? Especially after everything Harry's been through the past five years, the war and the prophecy was centered around him, after all. Harry just felt like he had the right to know, the right to take part in this war, not to be left in the dark like a pathetic sitting duck.
Harry wanted to voice everything he was thinking just now, but he didn't want to argue with Severus. Harry was feeling too hurt about Draco's sudden departure, and was afraid for him. Harry wondered about the danger of the task, and what it might cost for Draco to full-fill it.
Draco may never be the same again… Harry thought, feeling tears burn in the back of his eyes, but Harry didn't let them go. He wanted to be brave for Draco.
And Harry knew Severus wasn't going to tell him anymore, there was no point in arguing it out of him. So Harry sighed, and only said, "Just promise that you won't let him get hurt. And that you'll be safe."
"I promise you, Harry, Draco will be okay. Leave it to me and Professor Dumbledore. Like I said, trust us."
Harry only nodded, not saying anything more. At least Harry was able to find out about the task… That's what I saw in Draco's eyes, the fear of fulfilling it… He's scared, and I'll find a way to help him… I promise you that, Draco….
"It's time for bed. We're going to be spending time in the lab tomorrow. You have to help me brew potions for Madam Pomfrey, remember?"
"Oh right, because of the clothes," Harry groaned, he pushed all thoughts of the task to the back of his mind, deciding to think more on it later when Severus wasn't around.
"Hey, no whining. This was your idea, the only way you would allow me to buy you clothes, remember? Besides, brewing potions isn't that hard."
"That's easy for you to say. I suck at Potions."
Severus shook his head in exasperation as Harry left for the bathroom to brush his teeth and change into his pajamas.
When Harry came back, Severus was still sitting on the desk chair.
"Ready?" Severus asked.
Harry nodded and climbed into bed. Severus threw Harry's burgundy comforter over him.
"I'm too old to be tucked in," Harry protested.
"You just turned sixteen, still a kid in my eyes."
Harry grumbled about not being a kid as he made himself comfy, punching his pillow into place, then taking off his glasses and placing them on his night table.
Even though Harry complained about being too old to be tucked in, Harry enjoyed the attention, craved the parental affection, because he'd never received it when he was little.
"Are you ready to try closing your mind?" Severus asked.
Every night now, Severus had been teaching Harry to close his mind before bed, that way he had an easier time to block Severus out during their Occlumency lessons.
Harry nodded as Severus dimmed the lanterns.
"Close your eyes, relax your muscles, breathe in and out. Focus on nothing until your mind is blank."
Harry closed his eyes, relaxing his muscles, breathing in and out.
"Now you're at a waterfall."
Harry pictured the waterfall they went to at the Forest of Dean.
"Think of the roaring sound. Note the colors of the water, and how cool it feels when you touch it."
Severus' voice was soothing and gentle, making Harry feel sleepy as he imagined the roaring sound of the waterfall. It was so loud, it drummed in his ears. And how the water glimmered from the sunlight, causing its blues and greys to shine brightly. Harry pictured himself putting his feet into the water, imagining the coolness against his skin.
"Keep that image in your mind until you fall asleep."
Harry did as he was instructed, keeping the waterfall locked into his mind, until all thoughts of Draco and the task disappeared. Leaving Harry's mind empty and ready to fall asleep.
It wasn't long until Harry started drifting off between the waking world and sleep. He felt Severus place a small kiss on his forehead, a gentle hand running through his hair. It caused Harry to break concentration…briefly remembering how he used to watch Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon kissing Dudley goodnight. How Harry craved that as a small child, wondering what it was like to have parents. And Harry suddenly pictured a fracture line going through his once strong brick wall.
"Goodnight, son."
Severus' deep voice, along with the sound of the bedroom door opening and closing softly, were the last things he heard before Harry fell asleep.
Review Responses!
Laurenmk20: Yeah I know but really, Severus has his reasons, and he really is trying to do what is best for Harry. =(
Megan: Thanks for telling me about all the spelling mistakes, lol, I swear I don't see them sometimes until people point them out. I'm so glad you enjoyed my story and I'm going over the earlier chapters and revising the mistakes. And don't worry I'm determined to finish this story! Thanks for reviewing!
PotterGirl19: Thanks haha and this chapter is long so I hope that makes you happy.=)
Bouncerok: You're welcome! And thank you for reviewing, it made me happy!
Sakraprace: Yeah, Remus is going through a rough time. I just hope Severus can see that they need each other soon ;) and don't worry the whole Narcissa plot is coming soon. Thank you for still reviewing!