Chapter 59. Making Up
In the morning, Julia woke up early. She had slept hard, like a rock, after the events of the previous day and the night in the cabin. Which was unexpected considering where things stood with Nathan. But she was convinced it was mainly because she had been so exhausted. The last two days had been an absolute roller coaster of emotions. The fear for Allie's safety, the risk of going after her, the happiness at finding her, then the fear of the storm. Then the relief of Nathan's rescue, and the heaviness of their disagreement. Roller coaster pretty accurately described it. And, it had been exhausting.
But last night, even in the exhaustion, the long walk had done her good. She had needed time to think, but mostly, to pray. She gave all of her anxieties and worries to the Lord, and by the time she came home, she was in a good place. A place of trust. So, she taken a very hot bath and fallen into bed. And, somehow, she had slept well.
Now, she was up early, feeling very rested, but her mind was reeling. She regretted that she hadn't the courage to talk to Nathan last night, when he was chopping wood. Julia knew he shouldn't have been chopping wood, but she wasn't about to tell him that. Not with how frustrated he had looked. And, why would he chop wood in the summer, anyway?
Julia finally got out of bed. She moved to her dressing table and got ready for the day. Then she sat back and looked at herself in the mirror. The lines under her eyes were lighter, and she had color back on her cheeks. She looked much better than yesterday. She applied her cosmetics and perfume and decided to take another walk, but just to the pond. She would have a long day at the infirmary, and needed to clear her head before it started. Her mind was still reeling and she needed to calm it, if she was going to be any use at work today. However, she hoped by the end of the day, somehow, things would be better between her and Nathan. She couldn't take another day of discord between them.
Nathan woke early with a sunnier disposition. He had talked with Joseph late into the night, and felt so much better. They had talked about so many subjects: Colleen, Elizabeth, and his fears when Julia and Allie had been in danger. Joseph had shared so much wisdom. When Nathan told Joseph that he had finally been able to open up to Julia and share about Colleen, Joseph was proud of him. And that led them to discuss the loss further, and Nathan received another measure of healing, right there on Joseph's front porch. When the subject of Julia and Allie and the storm came up, Joseph had some wonderful insight to help him see more clearly.
Then, they discussed Julia. Sweet, wonderful Julia. Joseph gave him a lot of good advice about resolving conflict. He encouraged him to make it right with her as soon as possible. He also encouraged Nathan to invest in deepening the relationship, if he already knew she was the one. Nathan asked Joseph's advice on timing, regarding an engagement. But, Joseph wouldn't give him advice on timeframe. He only told him to make it official as soon as Nathan was ready, and to not be confined by the norms of society. Some things were more important than meeting other's expectations or following social convention. And, only Nathan could know when the timing was right.
It was very late when Nathan returned home. So much had transpired in the last 48 hours, and he was exhausted. He had slept very well, to his surprise. Perhaps it was because he had been so emotionally spent, or perhaps it was because he was at peace in his heart after this long conversation with Joseph. He was at peace about Elizabeth, he was at peace about Colleen, and he was at peace about Julia. Now, he just needed to make peace with her, apologize and make up with her. And, tell her exactly how much she meant to him. Then, he would really be at peace. They would be at peace, like they should be.
Nathan finally rose from his bed, and got ready, and headed to the Mountie office. He wanted to be there, waiting on his front porch when she came for coffee.
When Nathan finished his second cup, there was still no sign of Julia. He was beginning to worry that she wasn't coming for coffee. He finally put down his cup, closed his office door, and headed across the street. The door to the infirmary was still locked. So, he walked around the back of the infirmary, to her apartment door. It was also locked. Where could she be? Was she avoiding him? Was she that upset with him?
Nathan felt his insides tighten into a knot, and he knew he had to find her. He had to make it right. He had already let it go too long, and he wanted, he needed to see her. He longed to talk to her and tell her all the things he needed to say.
Nathan quickly walked to the livery. He saddled Newton in no time flat, and was off towards her meadow. Though just past the church, he pulled up short as soon he saw her, standing alone on the dock.
Julia had walked around the church and the pond and came to the little dock. Their little dock. Where Nathan had told her he wanted to pursue her, where he had told her that he loved her, and where they had shared their first kiss. Julia smiled at those beautiful memories and felt tears threaten to escape. Finally, she just let the tears come, hoping that if she let them out now, she would be stronger when she saw him. And, she knew she would eventually see him, he worked just across the street. The flash of red would be inevitable.
Julia had come to the dock to clear her head, and to calm her racing thoughts. She wanted to be useful and focused in the infirmary today, and not distracted. So, she stayed a long while, and when she felt strong, she turned back towards town.
However, as soon as she looked up, there he was. She let out a small gasp and stopped in her tracks. Nathan was right there, right in front of her, on Newton. His gaze was fixed on her as he dismounted and came to her.
Nathan stopped six feet in front of her and said, "Hi." Just as he always did, in his usual way. The hi that said so much, that could completely undo her in a blend of two short letters. He stood before her in his uniform, though those buttons were still not done up. His serge was open and Julia was certain he had done that on purpose, to make himself even more irresistible.
"Hi, Nathan." She replied. Nathan gazed at her, unable to take his eyes off of her. Her eyes were deep wells of emotion, and so very blue. In fact, the gray dress seemed all drab and dismal compared to that blue. And then, there was the color on her cheeks that made his heart rate pick up. The more he gazed at her, the more rosy they became, and the faster his heart raced.
"I've been looking for you." Nathan told her, with a sad look on his face. Julia hated when he looked sad. "You didn't come for coffee."
Julia titled her head and sadly asked him, just above a whisper, "Would I have been welcome?" She could read the answer on his face, and she was embarrassed by the fact that she had even asked such a petty question. She wanted to take it back as soon as she said it.
"Jules." He rasped. She was back to Jules? When Nathan had been upset with her, he had reverted to calling her Julia. But, now, just now, he had called her Jules. Like before, like he should. That brought all of the raw emotion that she felt right to the surface.
Nathan continued, "I'm so sorry for my horrible behavior. I'm sorry for my fears, and for letting them get the best of me. I'm sorry for being upset with you, for pushing you away, for being cross and speaking to you in frustration." He looked down at the never-ending space between them, that seemed like infinity. And then he fixed his gaze back on her, "I don't ever want to fight with you. It's horrible. Will you please forgive me?" He choked out, as he started to move towards her. He wanted to close that space. He needed to close that space.
"I do," was all she managed to get out before he got to her. He came with such urgency, his strong arms gently grabbed her and pulled her close. So close. His lips met hers with passion and the fire was lit between them. So strong was the fire. When the kiss deepened, neither held back, but both jumped out into the deep. Together. Finally, when the emotions ran a little too high, Nathan was a gentleman. He reluctantly broke the kiss and rested there, with his forehead on hers, to let them both catch their breath and calm down. He looked at her and smiled at her, and felt overwhelmed with feeling for her.
Julia reached up and tenderly touched his face. She loved how smooth and soft his skin was. She whispered. "Nathan, I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry that I worried you and that we fought. Please forgive me."
He answered her, "Allie told me everything that happened up on that mountain." He paused. "You got to her, Julia, and you got her to cover. You did everything right." Nathan leaned into her touch as her soft hand rested on his jaw and cheek. "I just didn't react well to the idea of you in harm's way. I want to protect you. I want you safe."
"My love. I will always have your back, and Allie's. Even if it means harm's way. I cannot sit back and watch bad things happen and not do something. I can't help myself. You and Allie mean too much to me. You are worth the risk, and I will risk it. I will put it all on the line for you and for her." Julia told him, her voice husky with emotion. "You can't ask me to do otherwise. I wouldn't be true to my heart if I didn't." She looked at him and tried to make him understand. She hoped he would understand. "Wouldn't you do the same for me?"
"Yes. I would. In a second." Nathan told her, holding her close. "I just don't like you in danger."
"Nor do I like you in danger. And, Nathan, you are in harm's way more often then me, in your line of work. But, I trust you and your judgement, and more than that, I trust God that he's watching over you. Keeping you safe…for me." Julia told him.
Nathan smiled at her. Joseph had said the same thing last night. That Nathan had to ultimately trust God. And her. He knew it was true in his head, but making that truth sink down into his heart and putting it into practice was not easy. He needed to learn to trust more.
Nathan pulled her into his arms and held her. He needed to feel her closer still. To feel her racing heartbeat against his chest, to smell her scent, to touch her hair, and feel her breath at his neck. He held her for a long time, and then pulled back just enough to look down at her.
"Jules, I love you. Deeply. I can't stand when there is discord between us." Nathan confessed.
"I love you too, Nathan. And, I feel the same way. I don't like disagreeing with you. It's terrible." Julia told him. "We need to communicate, Nathan. Always. No matter what, you can talk to me. No matter what it is, you can tell me. Nothing could change the way I feel about you." She paused and smiled, "We have to be honest with each other and talk. That's the best way to work through issues when they come up."
Nathan knew she was right. "Promise me something, Jules. Joseph said something very wise to me last night, and I think we should apply it in our relationship. He said to never let the sun go down on your anger. Which basically means that we never go to bed upset with each other. We always work it out, whatever it is, before the sun goes down. That way we never let a single day go by when we are angry or upset with each other. We won't ever lose another day to discord." He paused and smiled at her, "Can we do that? Can you promise me that you will always tell me if there is something that is bothering you? Or if I upset you?" And then he asked her, "Promise me that we will always work it out before we go to bed?"
Julia smiled back up at him. She knew that saying, it was from the book of Ephesians in the Bible, and her dad had used it often. It was a great practice, one that her father always tried to abide by. "I love that, Nathan. My dad used to quote that verse a lot, and he was a great example to Jake and I. And, he was respected in all of his relationships, whether at work or at home. He always worked things out quickly and fairly. And, I think it's great advice." She paused and then said, "I promise you, I commit to you that I will always seek to work out any disagreement with you before the sun goes down."
"And, I promise you, Jules." He said, so very happy to hear that. He bent down and kissed her again, gentle and loving this time. He wondered as he kissed her, how he had ever been upset with her in the first place. And, how he had ever let it go on so long. Being with her, and being loved by her was too good to miss out on, even for a day. How had he ever been so stubborn?
When he pulled back to look at her, he was overcome with emotion. "Thank you for loving me, Jules."
Julia gave him a timid, almost playful smile, "You're welcome. But, I don't really get a lot of say-so in it. The heart wants what the heart wants." And her look turned serious, "And, my heart wants you. Always, ever, you." She told him, quoting back to him the exact phrase he had told her after his meeting with Elizabeth. She leaned up on tiptoes then and kissed him back. And then, when she pulled back, she added in a whisper, "Thank you for loving me so well."
Nathan stayed so close and whispered, "My heart has been set on you for some time now, Jules."
Julia looked into his blue eyes, that were so deep with emotion and love. She felt overwhelmed with feeling and said, "I think my heart has always wanted you, Nathan, knew you were out there somewhere. Just waited for you showed up on the scene, on your horse, in your red serge."
Nathan smiled down at her, touched by her sweet confession. Her eyes were as blue as the sky, without limit, and they made his heart soar. "I think my heart has been set on you since I saw you running through wildflowers. I'll never forget the way you looked that day." He told her.
Julia let out a soft giggle. She remembered exactly how handsome he had looked on Newton, as he rode towards her, as she ran through the flowers. "But, we hadn't even spoken to each other yet."
"That's true. But, you looked so beautiful and free. My heart was set on you from that day forward. There was something about you that went straight to my heart…there was a connection. A deep one." Nathan tried to explain. He remembered how he had thought for a moment that she was actually running towards him. And, ever since he had hoped for it.
"Do you remember when we were up at the cabin, and I realized I would have to ride down with you on Newton?" Julia asked him, her eyes filled with emotion. "You spoke to me so gently and eased my fears, and my embarrassment. You began stealing my heart right there. At that moment. And, then when we were riding down, and so close on Newton, I realized there was already a deep connection between us. It felt so right and so exhilarating to be close to you." She confessed.
Nathan remembered that ride on Newton. He too had felt the connection and the chemistry. After they had passed the overlook, she had leaned back on him and he just knew. He had known there was something undeniable between them.
Nathan slowly leaned down and kissed her yet again. They had the last two days to make up for, and he just couldn't get enough of her this morning. It had been horrible to be at odds with this woman who held his heart in the palm of her hands.
When he pulled back this time, he stayed close and Julia whispered, "I love you, Lawman." She gave him one more little peck and then gave him a little smile, as she added, "To make sure you hear it twice."
Nathan stayed so close as he smiled down at her, and whispered back, "I love you, Jules. Very much."
Nathan was so happy they were back on the same page. Bill had been right, making up was the best part of any conflict. Not that he liked conflict, and certainly not with Julia. But, it certainly served as incentive to make up quickly after any dispute. He leaned down and kissed her one more time, soft and sweet. When he pulled back, he kept her hand in his, and walked her back down to town, with Newton trailing behind.
He found it so hard to keep his eyes off of her this morning, especially after these sweet confessions. It was wonderful to hear when she had first started to feel something for him. And, it was wonderful to reminisce about those early days of falling in love, even if neither of them was aware of how deeply they were falling, way back then.
As they entered Hope Valley, Nathan looked back at Newton. Julia understood, as he reluctantly said good-bye. He kissed Julia tenderly on the hand, then he turned off to take Newton back to the livery. And, Julia continued on to the infirmary, with the skip back in her step.
Halfway through the morning, Julia and Faith were drinking coffee at their desk, when Lucas Bouchard entered the infirmary. Faith looked surprised and both ladies stood to greet him, but he strolled right over, to the desk. When he got closer, Julia thought he looked tired.
"Hello, ladies. I'm sorry to bother you, but could I have a moment of your time?" He asked them.
"Sure, Mr. Bouchard. How can we help you?" Julia asked him.
Lucas looked at Julia and said, "First of all, I would like to apologize for what happened to you out at the oil rig, Miss Matthews. I'm very sorry for the injuries you sustained."
"That's very good of you, Mr. Bouchard. But, other than the soreness, I came out just fine." Julia told him.
"I'm told it could have been a lot worse, and well, I'm sorry about that. I'm working to rectify the shoddy craftsmanship out there, and it shouldn't happen again. At least not as long as I'm involved in the operation." Lucas assured her.
"Well, that's good to know." Faith answered him.
"And, as far as the rescue, we really appreciate you both so selflessly going in to help Jeremiah." Lucas told them.
Julia couldn't understand why he was here. What was he getting at? What did he want? "We were just doing our job, Mr. Bouchard."
"And, that's why Hope Valley is so fortunate to have you both. I told Bill and Nathan that I will be covering all of your medical bills, Miss Matthews, as well as those of Jeremiah. Faith, please make sure to send everything over to me." Lucas told them. Faith had expected as much. This accident was certainly his responsibility, and it was good to hear he was assuming it.
"As well, because of your invaluable importance to this community, I would like to make a donation to support the infirmary." Lucas stated as he pulled a thick envelope from the inside pocket of his fancy suit.
Faith put up her hand, "Lucas, you cannot possibly think that you can pay anyone off?"
Lucas looked offended as he said, "Faith, I would never attempt to do such a thing. It's not a pay off. It's quite normal where I come from, for hospitals to accept endowments and grants from generous benefactors. I am just trying to do my part, as a local businessman. It's a bona fide, no strings attached, donation to be used however you see fit. For the betterment of the infirmary and to better serve the community."
Julia took the envelope, knowing that the infirmary could use it. There were many homesteaders on the outskirts of Hope Valley that needed medical care but couldn't afford it. This fat envelope she held in her hand could help them run a free clinic out there.
"Thank you, Mr. Bouchard. We will put it to good use. We appreciate your generosity and your support." Julia told him. Faith looked at her surprised, but Julia didn't care. She knew Lucas was leaving town soon, and they would be rid of him, for a while at least. "The Hope Valley Infirmary thanks you."
Lucas nodded at Julia, happy to have her cooperation. Or so he thought. "Just one thing, though, Mr. Bouchard. While we are grateful for your contribution," Julia held up her hand, holding the envelope as she said it, "Please remember that any attempt to use this generous donation to weasel out of any of your responsibilities now or in the future, will be reported to the nearest authorities." And, as she said nearest authorities, Julia made sure Lucas followed her gaze as she nodded her head in the direction of the Mountie office. Just across the street. You couldn't get more near than the authorities just across the street. So, he got the idea.
The smile on Faith's face was priceless. For a minute there Julia thought Faith was going to laugh out loud. But, somehow, she managed to keep it together.
"But, we are real grateful, though, Lucas." Faith said, smiling sweetly at him, trying to keep the giggles at bay. "And, we wish you a pleasant trip out East."
"Yes, have a great time in Hamilton, Mr. Bouchard. And, congratulations on your engagement." Julia said with just a hint of mirth.
Neither lady could quite discern the look on Lucas' face, but he was a gentleman to the end. "Thank you ladies for your service to our community. And, I bid you good day." He gave them both a nod and walked out the door.
As soon as he was gone, they both erupted into laughter. "Julia, you were amazing. How can you keep a straight face like that?" Faith asked her.
Julia smirked, "Oh, I know his type. Too many like him in Calgary. Only, in the hospital, they were doctors who wore those fancy suits. They thought everybody else was beneath them and that they could order around whoever they wanted. But Faith, position and wealth does not equal character. Nor does it guarantee a backbone. That guy," She said as she pointed toward the door, "was given everything he wanted as a child, and he thinks he's entitled to what everyone else has. He sees something he wants, he tries to take it, just because he doesn't have it already. Not because he really wants it. He doesn't know what he wants, because he doesn't have a backbone and can't think for himself."
And then Julia continued, "He has zero character. And, when he waltzes in here to apologize, it's not because he feels bad about what happened to me. It's because he's worried it will blow back on him. He's protecting his own interests and his own backside. So, yes, I'll take the pay out. Why? Because even if we take it, I can still easily make a claim against him. All of Hope Valley saw what happened and knows he was in the wrong. And, quite frankly, we could use this envelope. Imagine how many of those poor homesteaders, on the outskirts, we can help with this one envelope? Faith, we could hold five or six free clinics out there this year alone."
Faith knew she was right. They could do a lot with that envelope. Faith didn't want the infirmary to be connected in any way to Lucas Bouchard, but they did need the funding. And, Julia was right about another thing. Most of Hope Valley had seen what happened to Julia, so if Julia really did want to make a claim against Lucas Bouchard, she would have a million witnesses. He wouldn't have a leg to stand on. And, envelope or not, that wouldn't change.
"Only if you are sure, Julia." Faith told her.
"I'm sure, Faith. And, If I'm honest, I would never make a formal complaint against him anyway. One way or the other. This way, we get to help people, and he has a little less skip in his step." Julia concluded.
Faith nodded and Julia held the envelope out to her. She realized just how fat it was when she took it from Julia. "Perhaps we could do more clinics than you think, Julia. It's a pretty fat envelope!" Faith said excitedly.
As Julia looked out the window, she noticed Lucas exiting the Mountie office. He really was getting all his ducks in a row, before his departure tomorrow. "Faith, would you mind if I stepped out for just a moment?" Julia asked her.
Faith saw where Julia was looking, and said, "Of course, Julia."
Julia walked out the door, across the street, and tapped lightly on the doorframe of the Mountie office. She peeked in and saw Nathan poured over his desk, where maps were all laid out and he was drawing with colored wax pencils. He looked up when she knocked, and a huge smile immediately washed over his features.
"You were hoping Lucas was back?" She teased him.
"Not for a minute, Jules. Come in. To what do I owe this little visit?" He said as she sat across from him.
"I just miss you." She told him, "And, I saw Lucas leave. Everything okay?"
"Everything is just fine. He must be trying to tie up all his loose ends before he leaves town tomorrow." Nathan surmised.
"I think you are right. He just came by to see us with a hefty envelope. A "donation" for the infirmary," She said with a sharp emphasis on donation, and a huge chuckle.
"What did you do?" Nathan asked, curious.
"Well, I took it. And, then I thanked him profusely for his generosity." Nathan wasn't sure he believed her. She look on her face was a little too mischievous, and then he understood when she told him the next part, "But then, of course, I reminded him that donation or no donation, any attempt to skirt any of his responsibilities now or in the future would force us to contact the most local authorities." That statement made Nathan laugh out loud.
Then Julia added, "And then I realized, the most local authorities won't be you much longer, Lawman. Then I'll have to run to whoever is taking your place. Sadly." Julia said with an even grin.
"I'll still be in this office, Jules. Or upstairs, but either way, still pretty local." He teased her, with a little wink. "You can still count on me." Julia smiled at that. She really liked that he would still be just across the street.
"Why did he come to see you?" Julia asked.
"Believe it or not, he came to apologize. For all of his bad behavior when we were both vying for Elizabeth." Nathan told her.
Julia smiled and was glad, and said, "Wow, I never thought I'd see the day."
"Me either. He admitted to everything himself, which is not like him." Nathan told her, "And, honestly, back then, he was pretty unsportsmanlike." Nathan added with a sad grin.
"Does he even know about sports?" Julia teased.
Nathan snorted at her funny joke, "I don't think so. He's more of an indoor athlete."
And, it was Julia who snorted that time, at Nathan's oxymoron. "So, did you let him off the hook?"
"Of course, I did, Jules. And, I also apologized for my own bad behavior. I did things I'm not proud of, and I did tell him off on a few occasions. Or at least…I think I told him to save it." Nathan chuckled at the memory. "Anyway, the guy has enough to worry about. He's the owner of a saloon, a known hotbed of gambling and drinking, the kind of place that Elizabeth's family would never be caught dead in. And, he's on the way to meet them, engaged to their daughter." Nathan reminded her. "They are one of the most prestigious families in Hamilton, remember?"
"Well, you are quite the gentleman, Mr. Grant, to let him off the hook. And to admit and apologize for your own offenses." Julia told him, smiling and proud. "And, I would quite like to be a fly on the wall during that first meeting in the drawing room." Julia said, imitating a high society accent.
"Jules, I'm never going to be friends with the guy. We have absolutely nothing in common." Nathan paused and looked down at his pencil. "But, I have to say I feel for him. He has no idea what's he's walking into with Elizabeth's family." Nathan told her, with a chuckle.
Julia smiled just imagining Elizabeth's rich father's face when Lucas began to describe his "business ventures" and one of them involved a saloon. He might be better off leaving that one off the list, even if it was his most profitable endeavor.
"Is that the only reason you came over here?" Nathan asked her, "to discuss Lucas Bouchard?"
"Certainly not. I just saw him leave and wanted to check on you." Julia smiled at Nathan, sitting behind his desk, looking as handsome as ever. "Maybe I just needed a good excuse to come over here." She told him.
"Like me inspecting your new medications?" He asked her.
"Something like that. I'm just making sure you are drawing your lines straight." She said as she leaned close to inspect his maps. She pulled her chair up close and put one of her hands down on his desk to trace the line. He watched her hand as it followed the line and slowly came straight toward him. When it got close, he placed his own hand ever so gently on top of hers. Then he slowly picked up her hand, and turned it over. He gently opened all of her fingers out to expose the inside of her palm. Then he fixed his gaze on her as he slowly brought it to his lips, and planted a featherlight kiss right in the middle of her palm. Julia quietly gasped as she felt the heat go from her belly, move up to her chest, and land on both of her cheeks.
Julia swallowed hard and slowly took her hand back. Nathan was sure she could hear his heart racing, it was so loud in his ears.
He rasped, "You're welcome here anytime, Jules." She didn't trust her voice so she just nodded at him.
She stood and headed to the door, but she stopped on the way out. She turned and said with a soft, husky voice, "You know, we're still waiting on that inspection at the infirmary, Constable. Anytime."
And, with that, Julia was gone. And, Nathan sat back in his chair, ran his fingers through his hair, and let out a deep, long, slow breath.
Nathan went home for lunch, to spend time with his Mom. Allie had packed a sandwich this morning so that she could work the phone exchange straight through, and get off at 2 p.m. So, Nathan had taken the opportunity to schedule some quality time with his mother. He knew she would plan to leave before Archie got there next Friday, and he wanted to make the most of her last week in Hope Valley.
When Nathan walked in the door at home, he recognized the smell that met him at the door, and knew she had made something special just for him…Chicken Soup. He loved her chicken soup. It was so simple, but the way she made it and the spices and herbs she used, made him think of home. Maybe it was a taste memory, but it was such a comfort every time. He knew it was her way of making things up to him. She felt ultimately responsible for the mess that was the last few days. Ever since Tuesday when Nathan had entered the house with Archie's letter, he had been on a speeding freight train of fears, anxieties, disappointments, and hurts. His stomach and chest had been in knots, and his emotions raw and exposed. Until this morning. When the final piece had been made right again. Last night, he had made it right with Allie and his mother, and this morning, he had finally talked to Julia.
Nathan took off his serge and hung it by the front door. He walked over to the kitchen, and said "Hi, Mom," with a big smile.
"Hi, Sweetie. Did you have a good morning? It sure looks like you had a good morning." Rebecca took one look at him and could tell that he and Julia had made up. The smile was back, the one she hadn't seen yesterday at all. She had missed that smile.
"I had a good morning, Mom." He told her, unable to hide it.
"So, you found Julia? And you spoke?" Rebecca asked him.
"Yes. We both apologized and made a promise to each other to communicate better in the future." Nathan told her.
Rebecca nodded and told him, "Well, conflict and disagreements are a normal part of any relationship. Anyone who says differently isn't being honest. It's how you resolve the conflict that matters. Remember the three C's: Consider, Communicate, and Compromise." She paused and then clarified. "Number one: consider the other person's point of view, and to do that we have to listen. Number two: Communicate clearly. Number three: compromise with each other, and meet in the middle. Both sides always have to give a little."
Nathan liked that. "That's nice, Mom. I will remember that. The three C's." He looked at her with a curious smile, "Where did you get that one?"
"Charlie. He uses it business dealings, too, with great success." She replied. Then she decided to add something more. "But remember, son. The best part of conflict is the making up." She teased him, and he blushed. "But I can tell by your face that you already figured that out."
Nathan smiled at her, unable to keep anything hidden from his own mother. He parted his lips to say something, but then closed them again.
His mom let out a little laugh as she said, "It's okay, Nathan. You don't have to tell me anymore than that. And, I don't need details. I know you are still processing it all, and you can tell me as much or as little as you'd like."
His mother served two soup bowls and brought them to the table. Everything else was already on the table. They sat down together and Nathan said a little blessing. "Wow, thanks, Mom. It smells amazing. A little taste of home."
They ate together and it truly was a taste of home. Nathan felt like a little boy again pushed up at the old farm table in the kitchen at the ranch. It was comfort to his soul and healing to his emotionally weary body.
"Nathan, I've given some thought to when I might depart Hope Valley. How about Wednesday next week?" She asked him. "That gives you Thursday to prep for Archie's arrival?"
Nathan hadn't even thought about where Archie would stay or how that would work. Nathan needed to speak to Allie about how they would arrange it.
"Don't worry about the set up for Archie, Mom. You can stay as long as you want. And, Allie and I are so happy you stayed. And any extra day we can get with you is a bonus." Nathan told her with a happy smile.
"Well, I will go to the mercantile and call Charlie, and speak with him about it." Rebecca told him.
"You can also use the phone in my office, Mom. If you'd like." Nathan told her.
"I might just take you up on that. There might be less interruptions and more privacy in your office." She told him.
Nathan quickly finished his first bowl of soup and his mother served him a second. They sat and talked about the last few days. Nathan opened up and shared a bit more about the dispute with Julia, and their making up. He left out details, but shared enough, so his mother could understand more about what happened. And, she was so happy to be let in on such an important part of her son's life.
When the soup was done, his mother made coffee and brought out cookies. They talked awhile longer, just the two of them.
Then Nathan brought up something that had really been on his mind. "Mom, I would really like you to help me with something. Something I should have done a long time ago. And, it's way overdue." Nathan paused and looked towards Allie's painting. "Would you help me hang Colleen's paintings?"
Rebecca looked at him and smiled. She was so glad he was finally ready.
"Nathan, are you sure?" Rebecca asked. She had waited so long for this. She had thought he would never bring himself to do it. But, now the question became, was she ready to see the paintings after all this time? Would they bring back too many memories for her?
"I'm sure, Mom." He told her. "It's time. It's way past time, actually."
"What brought about this decision?" His mother asked.
Nathan smiled in a way that meant he was thinking of only one person. Julia. "I was able to open up and share with Julia, about Colleen's death. And, she shared with me about her own father." He paused, "She inspires me, Mom. She inspires me with her courage and her faith. And, in so many other ways. And, now…I'm ready to hang them."
Rebecca nodded and said, "I'm glad, Nathan. I'm happy you are ready to take this step. And, I think the timing is just perfect."
Nathan stood and walked to the closet and reached far into the very back. He pulled out the huge wrapped package, and he brought it back to the table. His mother moved the coffee cups and cookies, and quickly wiped away the crumbs. Nathan carefully laid out the package and pulled out his pocket knife. He cut the strings that held it closed, and he and Rebecca slowly unwrapped.
Nathan pulled out the first painting, and turned it around. He held it so they could both see. It was a painting of a landscape on the ranch. There were smooth rolling hills and a dark green pasture and horses grazing in the distance. A sunset lit the sky in a myriad of brilliant colors, and the moon was barely visible. Colleen had managed to perfectly depict this particular pasture. And, this sunset was breathtaking, just as they were in real life, on the ranch.
His mother pulled out the next painting, which made her gasp. It was a painting of the barn at the ranch, with several of the horses out front. Nathan loved that big huge barn. Something about it was beautiful and serene. And, there standing out front, was Dakota, Nathan's paint horse.
"Nathan, he was a beautiful horse." Rebecca said when she saw Dakota.
"Yes, he was." Nathan said as he admired the painting. His mother's horse, Willow, was there beside Dakota. She had bred many of their best horses on the ranch.
Next in the pile was a painting of a beautiful stream that ran across the west side of the ranch property. It had been one of Colleen's favorite places, and she spent a lot of time there. In the painting, the leaves were a hundred different colors of yellow, orange, and red, detailing the colors of autumn. The painting was not only beautiful, but was visually striking with the bright colors. Not to mention that the scene was the setting of so many wonderful childhood memories for Nathan.
And, the very last painting in the pile was of Colleen's horse, Cedar. She was grazing next to a fence, surrounded by thousands of tiny yellow flowers. Those had been her very favorite thing to eat. Often, Nathan remembered Colleen being frustrated with Cedar, because Colleen wanted to run, but Cedar wanted to eat flowers. That horse had been perfect for Colleen, to slow her down a little, as she ran head-first and full speed at life. Nathan and Dakota had often ridden in their wake, thankful for the slower pace.
They laid all four paintings out on the table and Nathan went to his workshop and retrieved a hammer and some nails.
They started in Allie's room and hung the painting of Cedar on her wall. Nathan and Rebecca both agreed that should go in Allie's room.
Next, they hung the barn painting in Nathan's room.
Then, they hung the stream painting in the hallway, between Allie and Nathan's room.
And, finally they hung the landscape with the sunset in the living room, near Allie's painting of her and Nathan.
When that was done, Nathan and his mother walked around together arm in arm. They admired and discussed each painting once again. Soft tears fell down Rebecca's face, as she reminisced and remembered each painting's layers of creation. She remembered all the water cans, the brushes strewn about, and the messy paint squeezed out and mixed on palettes, in Colleen's makeshift studio.
Seeing the paintings made Nathan miss Colleen terribly. But, he realized something. The missing wasn't sharp and agonizing as it had always been. Now the missing was different; smooth, almost peaceful. Somehow, there was a tranquility layered in there. When he looked at each painting there was a serene feeling of love and peace. There were memories that flooded back, but they were not sad anymore, but good. Sweet memories. And, it came as a complete surprise to Nathan. He had been so hesitant to open that door of his heart for so long, now he didn't know why he had balked in the first place. He now knew that only in the opening, in exposing the hurt and the pain, could acceptance and healing take place.
How had he waited so long to hang these beautiful paintings? Or to share them with Allie? He would never understand, but he was ever aware that it had been Julia's love and acceptance that had inspired him. She had made him want to open and to expose, and to move forward. By her love and her own testimony of healing.
He was suddenly overwhelmed with love and thankfulness for her. In fact, he couldn't wait to show Julia these paintings, and to get her opinion. To know what she would say about them. To hear her critique, and her summary of them. He wanted to share them with her.
And, even more, he wanted to share the paintings with Allie. Nathan knew she would love the painting they had chosen for her room. He was sure she would enjoy each and every one that they had hung in the house, these beautiful works of art, that had come from her own mother's hand. Works that told of a talent that had evidently been passed to Allie. He couldn't wait for her to see them, and to be inspired.
When they came back downstairs, Nathan's mom gave him a long hug. She looked him in the eye and told him, "Nathan, I'm proud of you. As a mother, I don't know how it would be possible to be any more proud, actually. You are a wonderful son and a wonderful man, and even behind your flaws lies a heart that's intentions are pure. And, that is extremely endearing. Thank you for being you."
Nathan teared up at her kind words. "Thank you for your sweet words, Mother. I know your intentions are always good, too. Even when you make mistakes. And, that's the beauty of who you are, Mom. You are beautiful even when you falter. And, you always get back up and keep going. You are wonderful example to me and to Allie. I appreciate you very much."
They hugged again, and then Nathan told her, "I should get back to work, Mom." And, he sadly headed toward the door. He stopped when he got there and looked back at Colleen's painting handing in the living room. He told his mother excitedly, "I cannot wait for Allie to see the paintings."
"Neither can I. She's going to love them." Rebecca told him. "Have a good rest of the day, Son."
Nathan smiled at her, and walked back over and kissed her on the cheek. Then, he donned his serge and headed back to town.