Chapter 71. Bad Dreams

On Tuesday morning, Julia woke early. She wanted to see Nathan and Jake off with their prisoner. She snuck quietly out of Faith and Fiona's apartment, and went back to her apartment to quickly change and freshen up. As she crossed over the infirmary, through the front window, she saw Bill arrive and go directly inside the Mountie office. Julia continued out the door of the infirmary and crossed the street.

Three horses were already tied up out front, and Julia walked up and greeted Newton. A few minutes later, the four men exited the office. Julia stepped back and gave them a wide berth as they mounted and secured their prisoner. Danny, who still looked pretty beat up, would ride on horseback just until Benson Hills, where the transport wagon would meet them for the rest of the journey.

Nathan stepped over near Julia before he mounted. "I'll be back soon." He told her with a sweet smile.

She softly answered him back, "Be careful, Nathan."

Bill came and stood next to Julia, as Nathan and Jake both mounted. Nathan gave her one last gaze, and she gave him a little wave. She gave a shy little wave to her brother, too. And, they were off.

As they rode away, Bill asked her, "How about a coffee?"

"That sounds nice, Bill." Julia answered. And she and Bill walked together to the cafe.

Julia worked a long day at the infirmary. She and Faith were finishing the day's paperwork when she heard horses and saw the flash of red go past. Jake and Nathan headed straight to the livery. Julia and Faith continued working, and were sitting at their desks chatting when Nathan came by.

Nathan came in and walked over near the desks, "Hello ladies."

"Hello, Nathan." Faith said happily.

Julia stood, happy to see him. "You're back."

"We're back." Nathan told her softly. As he got a closer look at Julia, he noticed that she looked tired. Even though she had applied makeup, he could see it. He had thought the same thing this morning, but had chalked it up to the early hour. But, now, he was sure of it, she was tired.

"Everything went well with the transfer?" Julia asked.

"Yes, smooth as silk. Constable Davis, who you know, is one of the guys who will take him on to Union City." Nathan told her.

"And, when do you leave for Union City?" Julia asked him. He was set to go there for two weeks, for his inspector training and to finalize the tracking program, with Commander Collins. Julia wasn't looking forward to his being away, but knew it was the last step in his promotion.

"Sunday." He told her, though he didn't look too happy about it. "Jules, will you have dinner with me tonight?" He asked her.

The corners of her lips turned up into a happy smile. "I would love to," she told him.

He looked at the clock, and asked her. "Okay. 7 p.m.?"

"7 p.m." She answered, with a happy smile. "I'll see you then."

Nathan moved towards the door, but Faith stood up from the desk and asked him, "Nathan, might I have a word with you, in your office?"

"Sure, come on over." He said as they exited the infirmary and headed across the street, together.

Faith was content that Jake was also in the office, when she entered, so she could talk to them both at once.

"Have a seat, Faith. How can we help you?" Nathan told her, taking the seat next to her, since Jake was at the desk.

"I might need your help with something. Julia is not sleeping very well. The first night at our apartment, she only woke up once in the night. Her sleep was disturbed, though I don't even think she realized it. Maybe it was the exhaustion. But, last night, she slept very little. And, when she did, there were a lot of nightmares." Faith paused. "She is pretty insistent on coming back to sleep in her apartment. But, I'm not sure it's such a good idea. Do you think you could help me convince her to stay with us a few more nights?"

"I noticed that she looks tired today." Nathan told them. He was suddenly worried about her, and absentmindedly ran his fingers through his hair. "Maybe I could try to talk to her?"

"If she really insists to sleep at her apartment, I can sleep close by, on the cot from the infirmary. I really don't mind." Jake offered.

"Maybe we can give her the choice?" Faith suggested.

"That's a great idea. But, her apartment alone is not an option." Nathan told them, and they agreed.

Jake explained, "I am moving over to Mike's today. Lee offered to let me use his car to bring my things over, and I was just about to go load up. I can make a trip and unload everything, but come and sleep at Julia's. Just let me know what she decides about the sleeping arrangements, and I'll be there." He looked at Faith, "I agree, she shouldn't be alone."

Faith nodded, "Let me try and talk to her, but if I need you Nathan, I'll let you know."

The two gentleman nodded, and Faith rose. "Let me know, Faith." Jake told her.

"Sure thing." She told him, and she exited the Mountie office and headed back across the street.

When she entered, Faith walked over and sat down with Julia once again.

Julia looked up from her work and asked, "Everything okay?"

Faith looked at her and spoke gently, "I'm not sure, Julia. You tell me. I'm a little worried about you."

"What do you mean?" She asked with a curious look.

"You didn't sleep very well the last two nights. And, you look tired. Are you okay?" Faith asked her.

Julia looked down at her paper, and then back up at Faith, with a furrowed brow. "I'm sorry, did I keep you up last night?"

"I don't mind, Julia. I am just worried about you. And, I don't think you should sleep here alone." Faith told her.

Julia started to protest. "Faith, I have to come back eventually."

"But, you don't have to yet. You can stay with us a little longer if you like. Or Jake offered to sleep here with you, on the cot." Faith told her. "But, you shouldn't stay here alone."

"I thought Jake was moving to Mike's today?" Julia asked.

"He is. But, he offered to sleep at the infirmary." Faith replied.

Julia asked, "Is that really necessary?"

"Yes it is. And, if you don't agree nicely, I'm pretty sure the guys will insist." Faith told her with a gentle smile, and a glance in the direction of the Mountie office.

Julia smiled shyly and shook her head, "So, I'm outnumbered?"

Faith nodded. Julia gave Faith a timid look, "Ok, fine. If Jake doesn't mind to sleep here, I would really like to try sleeping in by apartment." She paused, and then added her own terms. "But, only one night, Faith. Then I should be fine."

"Okay. We'll start with one night, and then see how it goes." Faith told her. Then she put her hand gently on Julia's shoulder, and continued, "You cannot forget that you were attacked, Julia. You suffered a trauma. You may not be able to brush it off so easily. Allow yourself the time and space to process it."

Julia nodded. She didn't want to deal with her feelings or her fears, that much was certain. She had been pushing them down, for the last 72 hours. "Thanks, Faith."

Julia suddenly felt very vulnerable and emotional, almost nauseated. She set down the patient file she had been working on, and stood. "I think I'm going to call it a day, Faith. Is that okay with you?" Julia asked.

Faith stood, too, immediately detecting Julia's change of mood. "Fine with me, Julia." She gave her a gentle hug and said, "See you tomorrow?"

"Yes. See you tomorrow." Julia told her. She looked across the street at the Mountie office door now closed, and slowly headed back to her apartment.

Once she was on the other side, she closed the door and took off her nurses apron. She walked to her dressing table, and sat. She looked at herself a good long time. On the outside, everything seemed normal. There was no black eye, there was no trauma, there was nothing to deal with. Or so it seemed. Because this morning, after Nathan and Jake had left with their prisoner, Julia had come back here to this chair and applied makeup to cover her black eye. She had covered it well, even if she applied everything a bit lighter than Rosemary.

But the bitter truth was, that underneath the makeup, there was a trauma and a hurt. And, she couldn't cover it over, or hide it, try as she might. Julia stared at herself, and she prayed. She ask God for guidance, to know how to deal with this…what had Faith called it?…this trauma. She felt that all too familiar knock on the door of her heart. And, though she didn't want to, she opened the door…

That's when the dam broke. Julia let the tears flow, tears she hadn't let come since Nathan and Jake had knocked on her door, that fateful night. She cried and cried…until no more tears would come. The makeup that had hidden the hurt, was slowly and gently washed away in the flow of tears and truth. And the rest, she willingly wiped away.

And then, the truth shone through. The pain and the trauma was revealed, and visible. A man had entered her comfort zone, her safe place, and had struck her. He had hurt her, and there was no glossing it over. Even if he claimed he hadn't meant to hit a woman, he had done just that, and shattered her safe little bubble, in his wake. And, it would take time before she would look at her apartment, or the infirmary, the same. And, that was okay.

Julia hadn't realized what opening that door would do. But, as she finished wiping away her tears, and the rest of the makeup, she was thankful she had. And, thankful for friends and family that loved her enough to speak up.

Julia knew it might be just the first step, but she knew she would eventually be able to put all this behind her. And, that gave her great hope.

She moved to the stove and boiled water, and filled her tub. She removed her dirty clothes, and sunk into the hot water. She washed away all the grime of the day, and soaked a long time. She washed her hair and carefully washed her face. She made sure every last drop of make up was gone. And, when she came out, she felt fresh and new.

Julia got dressed for her dinner with Nathan, and dried and fixed her hair. She applied some cosmetics, but in her normal way, careful not to hide her truth. And she was just finishing with a light spray of perfume, when she heard the familiar knock at her door.

She rose and slowly went to open. Nathan's face lit up when he saw her, as it always did.

Julia softly said, "Hi." Nathan had changed into his soft white checkered shirt, brown slacks, and suspenders. One of her favorite outfits. His sleeves were rolled up, and his top few buttons open. He looked so handsome standing there, Julia couldn't help but smile. "Would you like to come in?"

Nathan nodded and entered. He turned and looked at her for a long moment. She seemed timid and shy, but much better than she was earlier. And, all the thick makeup was gone. Her black eye was visible now.

"Are you okay, Jules?" He asked her, the worry evident on his face.

Julia smiled at him and nodded. "I will be." She told him confidently. He was happy to hear that.

Nathan stepped closer to her, and looked down sweetly, "I can see your freckles again." He told her, as he slowly brought his hand up to her face and gently brushed his thumb over them. "I like them." He was happy to see that she had washed off the makeup she was wearing earlier.

She felt her stomach turn over at his sweet touch, and she leaned into it, finding comfort in it. He was gazing down at her so intensely, and he smelled amazing. It made her head spin, and she was sure he could hear her heart racing.

"I cried off all the makeup." Julia admitted, letting him into her hard place.

Nathan stepped even closer, again with the worried look. "You did?"

"Yes, I did." She told him. "I have to face it, Nathan."

"I understand, and I'm glad you are facing it head on." He told her, then he tipped her chin up to look at him. "But, you don't face anything alone. I'm here for you. Here to hold you, anytime you need to cry. Here to comfort you, anytime you need a friend. Anything you need. At any time."

It was such a sweet offer, she couldn't resist. Julia went into his arms, and snuggled into her place. She was all cried out for today, but she relished the sweet comfort she found there, where she felt at home, where she knew she belonged. His arms were firm around her, and she felt safe. Her arms went strong around his back, and they stayed just like that for a long time.

Nathan held Julia as long as she wanted. He let her be the one to pull back, when she was ready.

And when she did, he slowly took her hand, and together they walked to the cafe. They got a quiet table in the corner. They ordered the special and chatted about anything and everything, except the events of the last three days.

It was nice to just be together as a couple. Nathan enjoyed himself very much, and was sure that Julia would be just fine, soon enough.

When Nathan walked her home, Jake was there waiting. He had made two trips to Mike's with his things, and was ready to call it a day. They let him in and he immediately went to the wash basin.

Nathan and Julia stayed on the infirmary side, and let Jake have her apartment. Nathan pulled her into his embrace again, and held her for a long time. Then he pulled back just enough to look at her.

"Thanks for a lovely evening, Jules. I was so nice just to be together." He told her. She had to agree.

"And, thank you for dinner, Lawman." Julia told him, "It was nice being on your arm." He liked having her on his arm.

He leaned down and kissed her slow and sweet. When they finally pulled back, she nuzzled in by his neck and held tight again. He smiled and held her close, enjoying the close proximity.

When she pulled back out of the hug, he kissed her one more time, on the cheek. "Good night, Jules." He told her.

"Good night, my love." Julia said softly. Then he reluctantly let go, and headed for the door. "Look it up tight after me." He reminded her, and she moved to do just that. He gazed at her one more time before he closed the door behind him. Then, she locked it up tight and crossed over to her apartment.

The next morning, on Wednesday, when Jake came into the Mountie office, Nathan could see he'd had a rough night. He looked tired and agitated.

Nathan ventured, "Good morning, Jake."

Jake grunted a little and went straight to the coffee pot. He poured a cup, took a sip, and finally answered, "Morning, Nathan."

"That bad, huh?" Nathan asked with a solemn smile.

"It could have been worse, I'm just not used to waking up in the middle of the night." Jake told him.

"Well, how bad was it?" Nathan asked him.

"She was up twice, with bad dreams, and she seemed to be reliving it both times." Jake answered.

"What can we do?" Nathan asked him, running his fingers through his hair.

Jake replied, with a gentle shrug. "I think it probably just takes time."

Nathan looked out the window across to the infirmary. He knew that was probably true, that it would just take some time. But, he hated to think of Julia hurting. He wanted to her to be happy, and well, and herself.

Suddenly, Nathan had a thought. "Maybe it would help if she changed scenery a little bit." He told Jake.

"What do you mean?" Jake asked.

Nathan was pondering the idea, and spoke out loud as he did, "What if I took her to Brookfield? For some time now, I have promised my friend Gabe, who is the Mountie there, that Allie and I would come for a visit. What if we took Julia too, and went for a visit? For a few days? Get her out of Hope Valley, change her surroundings, and do something fun? Maybe, hopefully, it would help her start to put this behind her. What do you think?" Nathan asked him.

Jake thought this was wonderful. "I think it's a great idea. She would love it, Nathan. And, as you said, it would get her out of Hope Valley, change her perspective for a few days." Jake agreed. It was just what Julia needed.

"I'll go to the Mercantile and send Gabe a telegram right away. Check and see if it would be possible on his end." Nathan told him, standing and smiling at the prospect of a few days in Brookfield, with his girls.

When he came back from the Mercantile, Nathan spent the entire day working on the training manual, upstairs at his desk. He was making great strides, but still had some work to do. He was trying to finish it up before he left for Union City on Sunday. Commander Collins wanted him to bring the revised manual with him, so they could go over it together, and hopefully send it to press.

And now, if they went to Brookfield, that would mean one less day to work on it. So, he stayed late and worked long to get as much done as possible.

Going to Brookfield meant he would also have to put off another important thing, something he had already postponed due to the attack. The proposal. In light of all that happened, he didn't feel it was the right time. His first priority was Julia, and her feelings, and her well-being. And, quite frankly, the proposal could wait. He wanted her to be feeling better when he asked, and so, he would wait.

Anyway, there wasn't much time for a proposal if they were going to fit in a trip to Brookfield before he left on Sunday. They would leave Thursday late afternoon, after Allie finished her shift at the Mercantile, and come back on Saturday in time for Nathan to complete his final preparations for Union City. That didn't leave any time at all for his plan. So, there was no other option but to postpone.

And, he would re-evaluate, according to how Julia was doing, as soon as he was back from Union City.

It was nearly dark outside when Nathan finally finished, and he headed to the Mercantile just before they closed. A telegram was waiting for him, just as he had hoped. And, the response from Gabe was positive. He would love for them to come, and so would the girls at the orphanage. Lilian and Grace insisted that they all three stay with them, and were already planning their visit. Nathan smiled, suddenly feeling very excited about a few days away, with Julia and Allie.

He couldn't wait to ask Julia. So, he walked directly to her apartment and knocked on her door.

Julia recognized the knock and opened with a happy smile, "Nathan. Come in." He nodded and entered. Julia looked even better today, and the black eye seemed to be starting to fade ever so slightly. She didn't have the thick make up on today. When he got farther inside, he saw that Jake was there, and they were cooking dinner together.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." Nathan told them. "But, I wanted to ask you something, Julia." Nathan said with a shy smile.

Julia, curious, said, "Sure, Nathan."

"Gabe has been trying to get Allie and I to Brookfield for ages. I know he mentioned it to you the last time he was here, Jules." Julia nodded, indeed he had. And, she herself really wanted to go to Brookfield. Nathan continued, "Well, I wrote to Gabe today, and he would really like for us to come for a few days, now." He looked at her to read her expression. "Would you come with us, Julia? With Allie and I to Brookfield? It's a really nice town, and Lillian and Grace both want to meet you. They run an orphanage and the children are so much fun. And, it would be nice to get away for a few days, before I leave for Union City. What do you think?"

Julia liked the idea. "When would you like to go?"

"Well, we could leave tomorrow after Allie's shift at the Mercantile, and come back sometime on Saturday?" Nathan suggested.

"Wow, okay. It's sudden, but sounds like fun." She paused and looked at him. He seemed so excited about the idea, and his excitement was contagious. "To get away for a few days would be just lovely." Julia told him. "I would love to, Nathan. I just need to check with Faith."

Jake piped in, "I'm sure Faith would be okay with it, Julia. You could use a little getaway, I think."

"Well, maybe I can run over and ask her. I can let you know first thing tomorrow." Julia told him.

That reminded Nathan of something else. "At our morning coffee date?"

Julia smiled big, she missed their coffee dates. "Yes. I'll be there, Lawman." That made her so very happy. And, the thought of a few days away with Nathan and Allie was just perfect.

Nathan started to move towards the door, and Julia joined him. "I'll walk you out and go ask Faith right away."

Nathan took her hand and threaded their fingers together, as they walked along. At the corner, Nathan tenderly kissed her hand across the knuckles and bid her good-bye, before heading home to talk to Allie. And Julia quickly went up Faith and Fiona's back steps, to talk to Faith.

The next morning, Nathan was up very early. He prepped his bag for Brookfield, and headed to work. He got there early and worked a while on the training manual, in the quiet of the morning. He wanted to complete the rest today, so he didn't have to think about it while he was in Brookfield, with his girls.

Last night when Nathan had come home and told her, Allie had been very excited about going to Brookfield. She liked Lillian and Grace very much, and adored Gabe. Not to mention that she had been asking to go back again for a very long time. Nathan was sure she wouldn't be worth much at the telephone exchange today, for all her excitement.

At the normal time, Nathan entered the back door of the Mountie office, and made coffee. It was done just in time, as Julia sauntered in with a broad smile.

"Good morning, Lawman." She told him. Nathan could tell by her smile and her mood, what the answer must be, about Brookfield.

"You are smiling a little too big, Julia." He said as he looked at her, completely amused, as he handed her a cup. "Faith said yes?"

Julia rocked back on her heels and then forward again, all playful, making her skirts swish just right. He liked when she did that. She had done it the day she gave him the wildflowers, and he half expected her to produce another bouquet from behind her back, the way she was smiling at him. "Yes, she said yes."

"And, what is your answer, Jules?" Nathan asked her, very amused now. "Will you go with me?"

"Yes. Two times." She told him with a playful smile. He loved that answer, every time.

"Okay. Then we leave at 4 p.m.?" Nathan told her. She nodded happily, and they moved to the front porch and took their place in the two wicker chairs.

"I hope Archie won't mind too much to keep our chess game on hold a little longer." Julia told him.

"I'm sure he won't. He's planning to do a little camping and fishing while we are gone." Nathan told her.

"Oh, that's so nice for him." Julia told Nathan. "He didn't want to come with us?"

"No, he was happy to stay and spend some time in the mountains. He loves the outdoors." Nathan told her.

"And, it's so nice this time of year." Julia told him. "He will have fun, I'm sure."

"Oh, yes, he certainly will." Nathan replied.

"So, what is everyone like in Brookfield?" Julia asked, curious.

"Lillian and Grace are sisters. They were orphaned as children, and separated at some point. Lillian got adopted, and Grace didn't. But, they found each other years later, and opened the orphanage in Lillian's adoptive family's home." Nathan explained.

"Wow, that is quite a story. They found each other again, after being separated?" Julia asked.

"Yes. Lillian tracked Grace down. It's a pretty sweet story." Nathan explained.

Julia understood, "And now, they are taking care of orphans, probably making sure none of them get separated."

Nathan smiled at her. "Exactly."

"Wow, that's so inspiring." Julia told him. "And, they are friends of Gabe's? I think he might have mentioned Lillian when he was here." Julia inquired.

"Yes, Lillian and Gabe are friends. Though, I think Gabe would like it to be more. I don't know where things are, though." Nathan explained further.

Julia nodded in understanding. "Okay. Well, mum's the word. But, I can't wait to meet them."

Nathan smiled at her, "I think you will really like them."

Julia agreed, "I think so, too." The coffee cups were empty, and as much as Julia didn't want to leave, she knew the sooner she started her day, the sooner she could finish it. And, she was very excited about the trip to Brookfield.

She stood to go, and set her empty cup inside on the desk. "So, I'll meet you in the livery at 4 p.m.? Bag packed, ready to go?" She asked, excited.

"It's a date." Nathan told her, happy that she was excited. And, Julia slowly walked back across the street, and gave him a little wave before she entered.

About five minutes later, Jake came into the office. He and Nathan discussed a few things before Nathan headed back upstairs to get to work. First, Julia had slept a little better, though she still woke up twice with nightmares. She seemed to be handling everything better, with this trip to look forward to. And second, after Nathan left in the afternoon today, he wouldn't come back to the office until after Union City. So, they went over several things to make sure Jake would be okay alone, for the coming weeks.

Then, Nathan went upstairs and buried himself in the training manual again. He didn't even take a lunch break, but ate at his desk while he continued to tap on his typewriter.

Jake worked downstairs and was just about to head to the saw mill office to talk to Lee about a case, when Florence entered in a flustered rush, with a telegram. She looked so shocked and conflicted as she handed it to Jake. He didn't know what to make of her face, until he read it.

No, no, no. This couldn't be right. He read it through again, and then he looked up at Florence, who flinched and acted like she might cry. He gritted his teeth and walked out of the Mountie office, directly to Bill's office. Bill would know what to do.

When Jake entered Bill's office, Bill was on the phone. Jake paced in a worried frenzy, back and forth, back and forth, until Bill was off the phone. As he placed the receiver back on it's cradle, Bill tried to read Jake's face. "What is it?"

Jake held out the telegram and waited while Bill read it. Bill stood abruptly and looked at him, "This can't be right. Why on earth would they order this?"

"I can't imagine. Should we call in and see before we execute the order?" Jake knew what Bill's answer would be, but he would try anything to keep from having to do it. Anything.

Bill looked at him. "You know you can't. You have to execute the order first, and then call in. I'm surprised they haven't called you already." Bill paused, "What on earth could this be about?"

"I have no idea." Jake answered.

Bill handed the telegram back and told him. "I'm coming with you." Jake nodded, so very thankful for the support.

Together, Bill and Jake mounted the steps behind the Mountie office, up to Nathan's office. When they entered, he was hard at work at his desk, typing on his typewriter and marking things on the many maps laid out before him.

He looked up as they entered, smiling happily, "Gentleman, to what do I owe this honor?" Though, once they got closer and he saw their faces, his smile turned into a worried look.

Jake couldn't bring himself to say anything, he just handed Nathan the telegram.

...

TELEGRAM

Royal NorthWest Mounted Police

Received: 07 July 1919 2:03 p.m.

To: Constable Jacob Matthews

From: Superintendent Andrew Hargreaves, Union City HQ

Message: Arrest Constable Nathan Grant. Call HQ when suspect is secure. The charges will follow.

...