Chapter 116

To say it was bad was a lie.

Not a little, insignificant thing, or a mediocre event you'd feel guilty about but one day be able to mention with a smile and maybe get a few teasing remarks about.

This was so bad that she'd run to the bathroom in fear of the consequences and hadn't even been able to pull her trousers down before she wet herself. She hadn't wet herself since she was three. She'd felt as if she might when she was stupid and didn't go before a car trip as a little girl, and she felt like it when she was being tickled, or perhaps trampolining. But out of fear? Never. She'd been mortified. Luckily, Fletcher had collected her bag from Valkyrie's room so she could change out of the mud and dust and other muck so she wouldn't look so beaten up before she'd had to admit to it, so no one knew, but it was in her head.

Not as much as how awful she felt.

Before Tanith, Dexter, Saracen and Erskine arrived at Kenspeckle's where Fletcher had taken her, Solomon had been whisked away to be treated, at which point Nadia had been crying into Fletcher, and then when she had stopped he had kindly told her the others were on their way and she had realised that they would know what she did without permission and that they might just be mad that she risked her life and Solomon's in getting him back. She had already known that, had worked that out before she'd gotten out of Skulduggery's car – but she'd been focused and hadn't thought of the real consequences. In a way, she'd done well because that focus was what Valkyrie spoke about feeling, and she was a rescuing expert to Nadia.

But she wasn't Valkyrie, and she'd been so scared she had run to the loo and peed herself. Then was the joint panic of peeing herself and everyone on their way, then she'd changed, then she double checked the locks on the bathroom door and sat on the floor after using the wet room shower to clean herself and the floor as well as she could without any cleaners available.

She knew exactly when they arrived because she could hear the loud voices and the front door slamming loudly against the wall.

With the two assistants and Kenspeckle busy with Solomon, she had thought they'd find her immediately. Her ribcage shook violently from shivering with fear and she ground her teeth so no one would hear her crying, but she was saved once more by Fletcher when she heard him shout for the angry voices, she couldn't quite discern what each person said, to stop. They had, but only for a moment. She listened through her crying.

"Renn, did you find them?" A man snapped. She had heard that voice once before at the Requiem Ball. That was Elder Deuce. "Out with it!"

"Yeah, I found them," Fletcher snapped back irritably. "Kenspeckle and the others took Solomon to the back for surgery, he's already in there. He looked like hell, but it was him."

"Are you sure?" Elder Deuce asked immediately, and she could hear someone was pacing. The bathroom door was in the waiting area, where they were, so she could hear them well now. Her sobs lessened to silent tears. She was so exhausted.

"Yes," Fletcher replied, a wariness in his voice. "Nadia was with him. She had him in mid-air, carrying him out. A giant freak of a spider was about to jump on her, but I was able to get to her first."

There was a moment of silence. "Good lad, then," Elder Deuce said, and she could hear him pat Fletcher. "But we have to know. Where's the girl?"

Nadia felt her heart begin to race. 'Where's the girl?' That – that sounded like a threat, something sad and distressing like bad, bad news. Unable to help it, her nails began cutting into her arms over the unhealed, already sore scratches she'd been hiding these last few days.

"Nadia's fine," Fletcher said instead. "She's just really upset. I think she was scared of the spider thing."

"Yes, but where is she now?" Tanith asked in a hard voice. Nadia didn't like that either. She put her head in her arms and balled herself up tight with her legs pressing into her chest. They would find her. Only a matter of time. She took a mouthful of arm flesh in her mouth and clenched on it. Her sobs felt quieter.

"She needs space," Fletcher said in her defence. "Shouldn't you be getting Skulduggery or something? He's the one that did the wrong thing, not Nadia."

"The girls old enough to know not to invade on a Sanctuary operation," Elder Deuce said in his gruff voice. She'd heard he was a fair man, but he was also meant to be mean if people didn't do what he wanted. She was fucked. "The moment she agreed to do anything Skulduggery Pleasant told her, she defied the Sanctuary. She put lives at risk, she put the country at risk! We can't have the Spider's keep a child hostage! We'd have to give them everything to save her, and she went in there alone with no type of protection. What did she think would happen? That Pleasant would just steal in after her and - and fetch her if things went badly!?"

Nadia bit down harder, trying to muffle her crying screams. She was such an idiot! She had thought stupid things like that, it wasn't even worth telling herself she had panicked or had been too busy trying to live to think of those things, she was just a stupid, worthless idiot that had wanted to impress Valkyrie with being strong and capable so much she'd almost ruined everything.

"Skulduggery manipulated her!" Fletcher shouted. There was a long silence where Nadia had to hold her breath. "Do you think she'd do that without thinking? I barely know Nadia but I know she's not stupid enough to think of something like this herself. She isn't in a good place, is she? Her parents are fighting, her girlfriend's in a coma, and just this morning you all left her without saying a word, so I doubt she thought she had much choice when Skulduggery came around telling her she had to save Solomon or something awful would happen."

There were low growls and footsteps moving around, probably considering his words. Nadia let go of her bloody grip on her arm and shoved the palms of her hands into her eyes hard enough to create white splodges on the inside. She wished she just die. She didn't even deserve Valkyrie. She'd done nothing for her. What was the point? She did not want to do this.

"You can't just grab her and expect her to smile and think everything's fine," Fletcher continued, this time in a much quieter voice, almost like he was grumbling at the floor, maybe with his hand in his pockets. "She knows she fucked up, but when she got here, she was just happy to be alive and away from the spider-thing. She was really upset. I bet she already knows how bad things are so you don't need to make it worse. And anyway, Valkyrie wouldn't want you to be mad at her."

"He's right," Dexter said after a moments silence, his tone defeated. "Neither would Solomon."

Nadia hugged her legs tightly and held her breath as long as she could, trying to stop the tears and maybe pass out forever while she was at it.

"We can't let her get away with what she's done," Elder Deuce said in a way Nadia couldn't describe. It made her breath out slowly and then back in. "Solomon is back, and we need an explanation. Pleasant already told multiple people that he sent her in."

There was a long silence before Fletcher once more spoke up. "Tell them I did it." There was another short pause. "What? It makes sense, right? Tell people I went through the vent like Skulduggery was saying, and that when I got to Solomon, I just teleported us out. More believable than whatever Nadia actually did to get out, and I don't even know what that was yet."

"It's not bad," Saracen said in consideration. "The Spider's still know she did it though. She's in danger."

"We'll deal with that later," Tanith told them. "We still need to see Nadia. She's probably shaken."

"You can say that again," Nadia heard Fletcher mutter from behind the door. She felt her chest start shaking in fear again. She wasn't ready! She pulled her sleeves down over her freshly bloody arms and wiped her face of blood. There was a knock on the door and Nadia felt the hysterics rising up again. "Nadia?"

She didn't say anything. Maybe they'd go away. She shuffled back so she was huddled under the floating sink and then, smartly, pushed her legs out so no one could open the door since it swung inwards. She was too short to reach it, but it felt better. She clenched her fists tensely.

There was some movement behind the door and it was knocked gently a second time, this time by Tanith. "Nadia? Are you okay?"

She said nothing.

"I'm sorry we left without saying anything this morning. We were all stressed, but we still should have at least said something to you. Is it okay if I come in?"

In Nadia's mind, being incredibly pessimistic about life at that moment, she heard Tanith's words as a fake apology uttered only to lure her into opening the door. She said nothing and hugged herself.

"We need to come in Nadia. I promise you're not in trouble," Tanith tried again. "I just want to make sure you're okay. You really scared me." Doubt filled her when she heard the emotion in Tanith's voice. Doubt in her decision not to believe Tanith, and doubt as to whether Tanith said the truth. "I'm sorry, Nadia, but if you don't open the door I'm going to open it for you." The raw fear came back. "One last chance." A few seconds went by and Nadia brought her legs up to hug. There was no point anyway.

The lock clicked and the door was opened a moment later by Tanith, the others standing just a little way behind her. She clenched her jaw to stop her teeth from chattering.

Honestly, the only comforting sight was Fletcher in that moment.

"Come on, get off the bathroom floor," Tanith commanded softly. Although she was afraid she might burst out crying again, she could see the men frowning seriously at each other at the back of the waiting room so she got herself onto her shaking legs and left the bathroom, hugging herself still and probably blotchy faced. She wanted to thank Fletcher, and did in her head, but couldn't bring herself to speak. Tanith led her into the back ward where Valkyrie and Anton were.

There was a long moment of silence after they sat on the empty bed next to Valkyrie's. She'd been there earlier that morning with Fletcher and it felt like days ago rather than hours. Valkyrie was still breathing, a peaceful look on her face that hid anything that might be going on in her unconscious mind. Nadia was at least glad she wouldn't see her like this.

"One of the monitors is gone," Tanith remarked, looking at Valkyrie.

Nadia stared and after a moment her tired brain caught up to the same realisation. She didn't know which one, but that was an amazing thing because obviously something in Valkyrie had changed since midday, and that change was more than likely a good one. Despite all the bad things going on, Nadia managed a smile for a few seconds. Then she looked down at her lap in shame for not noticing before. "I'm sorry," she said, talking to Valkyrie and Tanith.

Tanith sighed, leaning back so her large belly had room. "I thought you were dead." Nadia didn't say anything. What could she say? "Skulduggery left a message with the Administrator four hours ago saying he'd taken you to the Spider's den and left you there. It took half an hour for someone to hear the message, and then longer for them to tell Corrival because he was in a private meeting in a secret location. It was only an hour ago we all had all the details, and now Skulduggery isn't answering his phone. You're lucky Fletcher had visited the area before."

"I know," she whispered pathetically.

"Nadia, what made you think going for Solomon alone was a good idea?"

Nadia tried to think of a reason, but her guilt and sadness combined with tiredness made her mind blank, as if there was even a good answer to that question. She just shrugged.

Tanith sighed and rubbed her belly in discomfort. Nadia felt bad for making the woman stress. "What did Skulduggery tell you?"

"He told me that Dexter and Saracen were going to go in together and get Solomon, but that they'd be spotted going in and the Spiders would probably kill Solomon and take them prisoner to get to Erskine and the rest of your family, and the only good way for someone to get Solomon was for them to sneak through the vents, and that I'm the only one big enough. I was really scared, but he said that if I didn't, Solomon, Dexter and Saracen would die."

"He lied," Tanith told her softly, and Nadia felt her tears well up. "Nadia, they all knew Saracen and Dexter were too obvious, Corrival told them so, while Skulduggery was still there. They were organising for a friend of Dexter's to come that specialised in rescuing hostages, and they were going to send her in. They were never in any danger."

"Really?" Nadia asked, and then immediately began to blubber. Tanith sat up and wrapped an arm around her but Nadia felt so awful she leaned away and curled up in a ball on the bed, the betrayal and – and whatever feeling being manipulated into risking being tortured to death brought. Tanith didn't leave, but started to rub her back soothingly until, some minutes later, she had run herself dry. Her head felt dizzy.

"Can you tell me what happened? I'll tell Corrival for you," Tanith offered.

Nadia opened her eyes and stared and the bars on the end of the hospital bed blankly. "I went through the maintenance shed into the vents and followed a map Skulduggery gave me to the cells. A Necromancer, I think he was Craven, was hurting Solomon. He was saying that he was glad he could kill him and that he was going to kill Valkyrie. Solomon tried to tell him not to, and Craven laughed and said something like 'I'll do worse to her than the rumours about what happened in – in' – I forgot what the name was. Grieves something. Then he left and I used this String thing Skulduggery gave me to get out of the vent and I got Solomon's cane and he shadow walked us out."

"And then you tried to leave and the Spider's chased you before Fletcher teleported you out," Tanith finished. "Alright, I'll tell him. Get some rest now."

Nadia nodded lamely, seeing Tanith waddle out of the room between the bars, and then stared uselessly until she fell asleep.

She's alive though...

I'm not going to say anything about this one. It does it itself. My poor Nadia!