Chapter 80. Trip to Union City

Nathan spent most of the morning looking out the window of the train, watching the world go by. The rolling hills, the fields, the trees, and the small towns. They made a few stops here and there, and each time the train lurched to a stop, passengers got off while others boarded.

Finally, when he got hungry, Nathan pulled out the brown paper bag that Julia had given him. Inside he found a blueberry muffin, a pack of cinnamon cookies, and two sandwiches. And, to his surprise, tucked inside, there was also an envelope.

As soon as he pulled out the envelope, the unmistakable scent of Julia surrounded him. She had obviously scented the letter with her perfume, and all at once, he was completely enveloped. He sat back, held the letter up to his nose, closed his eyes, and breathed in her scent. He sat there for a long time, frozen. Finally, slowly, he opened the envelope.

... ... ... ... ... ...

My dearest love,

Standing on the edge of this separation, I am tempted to be sad. But, I will not be sad. Because this is a necessary time, to bring about for you, something that you have worked very hard for, and deserve. You merit the promotion and the commendation, because of who you are. You are someone unique and incredible, and I feel so very blessed to be loved by you. I desire to support you in everything you put your mind to, and I always will, no matter what. On this occasion, you are going to pass all of your tests and challenges with flying colors, I just know it.

And when you come back home to me, it will be that much sweeter because we have had the chance to miss one another. I heard it said once, that In the missing, the heart grows fonder. So, I say, let my fondness grow for you, because you well deserve it. Every bit of love that my heart can hold, is for you and will always be for you. Forever.

I hope that you have the opportunity to call me from time to time, as I will miss hearing your voice. Hearing you just say my name would be music to my ears. And, I hope that you will write and tell me all about what you are doing there. Reading of your adventures would be a delight. And, though things will be boring here without you, I will try to write you, too, even if only to pour out my heart and remind you how much you are cherished and loved.

Please have a good trip, and make the most of your time. You deserve it. And, please take care of yourself. You promised me once that you would come back to me, so I will hold you to that promise once again. Come back to me, and kiss me…till we are both breathless.

I love you dearly.

Yours forever,

J

... ... ... ... ...

Nathan replaced the letter in the envelope and sat back in his chair. He looked again out the window, and smiled. He felt suddenly refreshed for the journey. He placed her letter into his serge pocket, close to his heart, so her scent would stay ever with him.

He thought of this beautiful, amazing woman that loved him so dearly. He had no idea why, but he felt the blessing of it to his very core. Julia was so much more than he could have ever have imagined.

He thought back over the course of his life, of all the other women that he had ever been interested in. As a teenager, there was Susanna, from his school near the ranch, a lanky tomboy that had never given him the time of day. In Cape Fullerton, there had been the bright pretty daughter of the baker, who gave him eyes every time he came in, but who he had never quite been clever enough to talk to, in the 60 seconds before the next customer walked in.

And anyway, shortly after, he'd gotten Allie, and she had taken his focus for many years.

Later on, in Fort Simpson, there was Cecile, the sister of one of his colleagues. A botched set-up from the beginning, because she was still hung up on an ex-boyfriend. Nathan had taken her out a few times, and had almost kissed her once, before he realized she was never going to move on from her previous love.

Nathan had never tried very hard with any of those women, because he had always thought that love should happen naturally.

And then there was Elizabeth; who he had fought so hard for, against his own personal philosophy that love should make sense. With her, it had never made sense, and he had been on a roller coaster of her moods and emotions from day one. Looking back now, he couldn't understand why he had ever allowed it.

When Nathan had first met Elizabeth, her eyes were so lost and lonely, his heart had immediately gone out to her. He had tried to reach her. He had just wanted to be her friend, maybe out of loyalty to Jack. But over time, he had gotten sucked into her vortex. And then Lucas had entered the scene, with his thrill of the hunt. Nathan refused to compete with Lucas' grand gestures, but stayed true to himself, and bore his heart to her honestly and simply. He thought Elizabeth would see through all the pomp and circumstance that Lucas served up, and recognize the something real that he offered. Nathan continued to bear his heart, true and honest, without fail. But, Elizabeth continued to beat him down, over and over again. It became more brutal over time, as she repeatedly offered just enough of her heart to keep him hanging on. Then in the very next breath, would deal him a difficult blow. She had been so unstable for most of their friendship, but he had somehow been so taken, that he had determined to fight for her. And fight for her he did, to the bitter end. How he had gotten so sucked into that downward spiral, was still a mystery to him.

But, Nathan had come out stronger on the other side, and more sure of what love should be like. And not be like.

All of that journey had made him ready for the moment Julia walked into his life. Or, perhaps he should say ran into his life. Because that is exactly what she did. She ran so hard into him, that he hadn't known what hit him for the first few weeks. He had just been enamored and smitten, and very terribly so. She had been a breath of fresh air, a beautiful vision, an undeserved hope, and a force that unraveled him, all at the same time. When he had opened his heart, Julia had met him tick for tack, and given even more, opening her heart completely, even showing him her hard and hurt places. She had inspired him to do the same, and he had let her into his own pains and hurts, even those that he had locked away so long ago. His loneliness had dissipated like an unwanted fog, a fog that he hadn't even realized was there, and that had been holding him back, for years. And finally, he became his true self again.

Without Nathan even realizing it, Julia had invaded and set up place in his heart. He had been powerless against the gravity of their attraction and the magnetic pull of true love. He suddenly needed to know everything about her, like he needed bread and water. It was almost as if he had been a bystander on a boat that was floating them both into what was meant to be. He had just been along for the ride, defenseless and bowled over, as she slowly but surely became the most important person in his life.

And there had been no strife, no angst, no second guessing himself, and no questioning. Only certainty. One look from her, and it had all made sense.

And, it had happened so fast. He had spent three long years striving for the wrong woman. But it had taken less that four months to fall head over heels in love with the right woman. Even that, made sense.

With Julia, when he'd needed to fight for love, it wasn't against her, or to convince her, or to make her see some truth she had been too blind to see. No, no, no. When he'd had to fight, it had been right beside her, and they had fought together, as a team, shoulder to shoulder, and side by side. He and Julia had fought for each other in many instances, most notably when he'd had the fever, and she'd willed him to stay. Or when she'd been trapped by the cross-beam, and he'd refused to let her go. And even more recently, when he had been falsely accused and arrested, she'd had his back and fought on his behalf. They had fought hard and beautifully, for each other, and for this love that was so right.

And with Julia, he'd never had to justify himself or his actions. She had understood him from day one, and had accepted him without question, flaws and all. She had loved every single part of him, including the imperfections, and she had given him the space and liberty to be honest about them. And, she had loved and accepted even those shadows. She loved him without condition, and had born her own heart completely and honestly. She hadn't hidden anything from him, and that had inspired Nathan to do the same.

And all the while, she had playfully pulled him out of his shell, and allowed him to be his true self.

She was undeniably, most certainly his rib.

He looked out the window once again at the world going by, and he smiled to himself. He smiled like he knew a secret that no one else knew, an eternal truth that was just for him, and him alone. Something precious that was only his, and Julia's, and the Lord's, because He had created it all. This beautiful, amazing love story, that had brought Nathan the love of his life, was a story that God himself had written.

Nathan laid his head back on the seat, and sat for a while, in awe.

Julia went to church just after Nathan left. She thought it would make her feel better. And, it did. It was wonderful to hear the worship, singing hymns always lifted her heart. And, Joseph's message about unconditional love was just wonderful. His words and teaching always challenged Julia in a good way. She wanted to love others like the Father loved. Nathan, Allie, Jake, and everyone else in her life.

At the end of the service, Julia walked out with Allie and Archie, and visited with the other congregants outside. Finally, as they all started to say good-bye, Allie pulled out a letter and handed it to Julia. She recognized the handwriting immediately. Nathan. Tears sprang to her eyes as she held the envelope with her name so beautifully written in his handsome handwriting.

"Thank you, Allie." Julia said softly, as she hugged Allie good-bye.

Then, she walked slowly to their dock by the pond. Julia pulled out the letter and read.

... ... ... ... ... ...

My dearest Julia,

I find it hard to express what I'm feeling, as I pack everything into a bag for the next two weeks. It's impossible to fit the things that I really need inside my old worn duffel bag…like you, and Allie. So instead, I will carry you in my heart, and think of you every chance I get. I'm pretty sure you will consume most of my thoughts anyway.

I'm a blessed man, Julia. As I think back to how we met and fell in love, I am in awe of our story. God really does write the best love stories, doesn't He? And, I love our story. And, most of all, I love you. I hope you realize just how much.

I am looking forward to being your husband and starting our lives together as one. I think about it often, actually. And, I can't wait. Please look at the calendar and pick a date, and the sooner the better. You just name the date, any date, and I'll be waiting for you at the end of the aisle, with great anticipation in my heart. You complete my life, and I can't wait to be married to you, and to write the next chapter of our story, together.

I love you more than words can say, my darling Julia.

Forever yours,

Nathan

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Julia held the letter close to her heart and sniffled softly. He really did have a way with words, especially with pen and paper. She slowly folded the letter and tucked it gently back into the envelope. She placed it in her pocket and looked up to the heavens. She said a long prayer for her sweet Nathan. For safety, for comfort, for success, for him to excel in every challenge. But most of all, she prayed for him to feel her love. She wanted him to know she was with him every step of the way. For truly, she was.

On Monday, Julia worked a long day, and was grateful for the preoccupation. Faith could see that Julia needed to stay busy, so they went out to the saw mill in the afternoon and ran a clinic for Lee. The guys were happy to have the medical care, and Julia liked working alongside Faith out there. Some of the men brought their family members, too. Julia got to help a few of the wives, which was nice. They saw a few children, too. It was interesting work.

After she finished up at the infirmary, Julia went to the mercantile to pick up the big order she had placed with Ned. She had ordered a lot of painting supplies, after she had determined in her heart to pick up a paintbrush again. She wanted to paint something for Nathan's birthday, which was coming up on the first of August. And she also had some ideas, of beautiful landscapes and other scenes, she wanted to paint, to adorn the walls of their dream house. She wanted to paint while Nathan was gone, and hide them away as a surprise, for when they finally moved into that big white house.

Julia was also happy to learn that the book she had ordered for Allie, from the bookstore in Benson Hills, had finally arrived. She couldn't wait to give it to her, L.M. Montgomery's latest book, Rainbow Valley. Allie was going to be ecstatic!

She took her big order home, pulled out her easels, and set up two canvases already. Julia laid out the paints. From her trunk, she took out all of her other paint supplies, and laid them out too. She got everything ready, though she couldn't quite start yet. She had plans for dinner, and was worried that if she started, she would get sucked in, and not be able to stop on time. So she simply began to lay out the sketch for the first painting, and worked intently on that, until it was time to head to the cafe.

That evening, she met Jake, Faith, and Fiona for dinner. It was a fun time, and Julia was so glad Jake was such a good sport to eat with three ladies. They promised to do it again, and to invite Mike next time, so Jake wouldn't feel awkward as the only guy.

After dinner, Jake walked Julia home. He was acting a bit off, and Julia was a little bit worried about him. So, Julia invited him in for coffee, with the intention of seeing if he wanted to talk. She suspected his preoccupation might be about Faith, but wasn't sure.

Julia made coffee and herbal tea, and joined him in the little salon of her apartment.

She knew she needn't beat around the bush with her brother. He was as sincere as they came, and an open book. But tonight, he was exceptionally quiet, which was not like him at all. He was, dare she say, pensive. Finally, she decided directness was the best course, "Something bothering you, brother?"

"Maybe." Jake said shortly. But he didn't seem to want to say anymore than that. Perhaps he was still stewing on it.

"Do you care to elaborate? I might need a little more than that to go on, if I'm to understand what's going on." She teased him.

"I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it." Jake said with a solemn smile. He was a handsome guy, but tonight, she could see the lines in his face, which told of an internal unsettledness. She knew her brother too well, and loved him dearly.

"Okay." If he wasn't ready to talk about it, she didn't want to push. Jake was someone who always worked things out ahead of time. So, if he was still processing it, he was not entirely ready to talk about it yet. "Did something happen with Faith?"

"No." He told her, with an awkward look. "Not with Faith." That statement made her suspicious. If not Faith, then what was the matter? Because something or someone obviously had his attention, and if it had nothing to do with Faith, then what could it be? Suddenly, it hit her. Like a rock of understanding. Had Jake a change of heart about Faith? It's true he hadn't mentioned her at all since he moved to Hope Valley. In fact, he hadn't mentioned her since the first time he came for a visit. Back then, he had taken her to dinner, but in the end, had only seen her as a friend. And, to this day, had never mentioned her as anything more than a friend. Perhaps way back then, he had been completely honest when he said he had only taken her to dinner to be a good friend. He had claimed his motives had been simply to give her a little boost, when she had been so heartbroken. Perhaps it truly had been platonic, as he had claimed. Julia remembered what he had told her, the day after their dinner date. Jake had said that in the end, they had only felt like friends. Perhaps it were really true.

So then, who had him so flustered? Another stark realization hit her. Could it be Fiona? Had Jake changed his mind, and decided that he liked Fiona instead? That would make sense as to why he was so flustered. Because that would be terribly complicated, especially now that he was living with Mike, who obviously already liked Fiona. Jake was loyal to the letter, and would never move in on the girl of a friend, especially not one as kind and thoughtful as Mike.

The more Julia thought about it, Fiona was a much better fit for Jake. She was confident, and strong, yet fiercely loyal and kind beyond measure. Florence loved her dearly because of how they had bonded at the telephone exchange. The way Fiona treated people was exceptional. She saw people, and raised them up and encouraged them, every chance she got, a character trait that was terribly endearing. Perhaps Jake had witnessed and observed how wonderful a person Fiona was, and had been drawn to her. It would make sense, because he too, was an exceptional person. They had a lot in common, if Julia really thought about it. And, they would make one heck of a couple, if they were ever given the chance.

Part of Julia was sad for Faith, though. She loved her friend and wanted her to be happy. But, if she were completely honest, Julia was still not sure Faith was ready for anything real yet. And, Jake was as real as it got. He loved deep and real, and with every part of his being, just like Julia. And, he was ready to share his life with someone special.

Julia looked at her brother, took note of his inner turmoil and was sure. He was definitely wrestling with something. Whatever it was, it was big and she would be patient with him. He was a precious, wonderful, amazing guy.

Finally, Julia let him off the hook. "I can see you aren't ready to talk about it, brother. And, that's okay by me." She paused and put her hand on his strong shoulder. "You'll tell me when you're ready."

Jake nodded, and sipped his coffee. He just wasn't ready to talk about it yet. Something about voicing it out loud, would make it more real. And, he wasn't ready for it to be real yet. He wanted to keep it to himself, where it could simmer a while longer. Because quite frankly, it was an impossible situation, anyway.

They didn't say much else after that, but sat mostly in silence, as they drank their coffee and tea together. Sometimes it was just like that between them, and spoke of a deep and precious rapport, when two people could just be and not need to crowd each other with words. She and Jake had often been like that, when one or the other was mulling on something. And, that was okay. She loved that they could be like that sometimes, and it said a lot about their relationship.

When he finished his coffee, he stood to go. She walked him to the front door and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm always here for you, big bro. Anytime, day or night." She told him softly. She didn't even need to mention that she would never judge him, but would love him no matter what it was. He already knew that.

He returned her kiss on the cheek and told her, "Thank you, Jules. It means a lot."

He turned and opened the door, but stopped just before he stepped through. "Lock up tight, sister."

Julia nodded obediently and gave him a little wave, and he was gone into the night. She locked the door tight.

Then she moved to her table, and took out paper and pen. She sat and wrote a letter to her beloved, in response to his touching letter this afternoon.

Then, she moved to the large canvas she had set up this afternoon, the one that had stood nearly to her waist, as she had carried it back from the Mercantile. It was huge and she was most excited about it. She drew out the final lines of her sketch and made it ready for paint. Then she pulled out her paintbrushes, the very ones she had been convinced she could never use again, after losing her father. Without him, she had been shy and reluctant, and even scared to paint.

But now, one person inspired her, and one person alone. Nathan. Because of his unyielding, all-encompassing, deep-as-the-ocean love, she felt ready to paint again. And, she would, for him. Her first offering, her first attempt, her first piece back, would be for him.

With a deep breath, Julia slowly touched the paintbrush to the canvas, and made her first brushstroke, in over five years. A huge, brilliant smile washed across her face, as it all came back to her, in a rush of wonder. Suddenly and beautifully, memories flashed through her mind like a slideshow. Images of painting side by side with her father, sitting next to him and sharing notes with him. Images of him leaning over her, and giving her pointers. She could almost hear his voice, cheering her on, coaching her, with each and very brushstroke.

A lone tear escaped and rolled down the ripples of the huge smile she still wore. She didn't bother to wipe it, but let the tear absentmindedly make its way over her dimple, and run down onto her sleeve, as she happily focused on painting.

Julia painted late into the night, until her eyes grew heavy. Finally, she laid down her paintbrush, took a step back, and hugged herself. She was very happy with what she had done so far, though it was only the first layer of the background colors. She found it beautiful, not because it was her work, but because with the work, had come her next measure of healing. And, her dad would be very proud of her, she could just feel it.

And as she stood back and gazed at the canvas, her thoughts wandered to her muse. The one person that inspired her more than all the others. Nathan Grant. He was her perfect muse, in fact. Kind and gentle, selfless and beautiful. He pushed her, not by action or deed, but by his love. His deep ocean of love, whose waves, when they crashed over her, left her desiring to love him back even better. She wanted to love like he loved. Ever deeper and always more, and forever true. And she knew deep down, that she wouldn't have ever have picked up the brush again, for anyone else.

Her mind stayed on Nathan, as she laid her head down on the pillow. And as was to be expected, she dreamt of him and him alone.