Sorry, sorry, I keep forgetting to post. I've been a bit all over the place lately. i shall post two chapters as recompense.
When I woke up, the stone was still beside my bed.
I lifted it up tentatively. Rainbows flowed across my skin as I moved it. There wasn't much light in the room, yet the stone seemed to find it anyway. It was quite large, and I could just about hold it with one hand. I had to admit that it was gorgeous. But at the same time, it held a sinister air about it.
Though that may be because of what I knew about the stone. About how much hurt and conflict it had caused. Was it the jewel itself that had caused the gold sickness? If it had never been found, would Smaug have ever shown up in the first place?
I shook my head, dislodging the thoughts. I couldn't be thinking like that. What's done is done. I needed to concentrate on the here and now.
The air was turning colder by the day. My breath misted in front of me, even within the confines of the tent. Usually, the frost would recede once the sun came up, but with each passing day, it took longer and longer to melt.
"I've got the goods," I said, placing the Arkenstone into my jacket pocket. It bulged awkwardly, and I rearranged it as best as I could. "Now, what are we actually doing with it?"
Kili blinked up at me, wiping sleep out of his eyes. "Shouldn't we just give it to your Adad? I feel like that is the best option we've got. Other than burying it in a hole somewhere."
I nodded. That sounded sensible. "You're probably right. I'm not very good at digging anyway."
Adar's tent was surprisingly full when we walked up to it, even though the sun had barely risen. I peered my head around the door to take a look inside. Adar stood in the centre of the room with several advisors around him. Legolas stood next to Adar, getting involved in the discussion. Bard lingered around the edge with Mum, looking wary but healthier. He was definitely less pale. Mum caught my eyes and waved me inside.
"We will discuss this later," Adar said to the elves around him. "Send word if anything new arises."
"Yes, your majesty." They all bowed their heads respectfully before making their way out.
"What was that about?" I asked.
"Our scouts have spotted the orc armies making their way towards us. They are coming from the southeast like you said they would. At the speed they are going, they will be here within a few days."
"Oh, okay," I said, dazed.
Fuck!
I knew that it was inevitable, but now that it was happening, I wanted to scream and throw up at the same time. My whole life could be turned on its head in the space of a few measly days.
"But our scouts have also caught sight of a new army. Marching from the east. I thought you said that Thorin would not send for the dwarves in the Iron Hills." I could hear the frustration in Adar's words.
Breath came out of me in a rush. Oh, thank god. There was a small part of me that had been scared they would ignore Fili's summons. But dwarves were loyal.
"Kili's brother sent for them instead. Against Thorin's wishes," I said.
Adar's eyebrows raised. "Impressive. But how did you hear of this?"
I gave a cursory glance around the room. There weren't any strangers left in the room, just us. "That's actually why I'm here. Bilbo found us last night."
"The halfling?" said Ada.
"Yes. He told us that Fili called for Dain, and he also left us something for safe keeping," I reached into my jacket pocket to retrieve the Arkenstone. I placed the jewel on the table in front of me. Fractals of light danced across the walls.
There was a collective gasp around the room. It was most definitely the last thing they expected me to pull out.
And for my next trick, I shall pull a Silmaril out of my hat.
"The Arkenstone," Ada gasped. "So they did manage to find it then?"
"Well, Bilbo did," I clarified. "He brought it to us so that we could keep it from Thorin's hands. If he got hold of this, I fear the gold sickness would get much worse."
"Then it was wise for him to bring it here," said Legolas, reaching out to touch it.
"Thank you for bringing this to us, Liriel," said Ada.
"Well, it was either this or a hole somewhere," I said with a sly look at Kili.
Waiting around was perhaps the worst thing. Like waiting for your own execution. The blade was swinging ever closer to your fleshy vulnerable neck, and there was nothing you could do about it.
We heard nothing more from the company. I assumed that Bilbo made it back okay or we would probably see him among us. I doubted we would be hearing from them anytime soon. We just had to believe that they were doing okay. Which was rather hard to do when I was a natural worrier.
Thankfully, there was quite a lot to do to help me keep my mind occupied. We had to break down our camp and move it closer to the mountain. Our camp by the forest was way too open, but the ruins of Dale offered walls and shelter for us to gather behind.
New armour was found for me after some of mine had been crushed. I felt bad because of it. Mum had the armour specifically made for me, and I'd already managed to mangle them, but at least they had done their job.
As my old rock climbing teacher once said, it is better to have a broken helmet than a broken head.
I soon found out that a lot of effort goes into moving a camp. There were just so many tents and pieces of furniture to shift. It took plenty of trips across the rocky wasteland to Dale and back. But elves were very efficient workers, and it didn't take as long as I thought it would.
My limbs were definitely warm by the time we finished. It helped to stave off the cold, at least. A room was set up for me in one of the stronger-standing houses. I told Adar that I would be fine and to give it to someone else, but he wouldn't hear of it. I decided not to push the issue. I needed to pick my battles.
The burnt-out ruins of Dale were rather eerie. It was a literal ghost town. It felt like, at any second, a spirit could pop up in front of you and demand you get off their property. The worst part was the remnants left behind. Even after all these years, plates were still on tables and shattered mugs on the floor.
Kili sensed my melancholy mood and pulled me away from my current focus. Stone carved into the crude shape of a horse. A child's toy.
"We'll rebuild this, Leah," Kili said. "It won't stay broken forever."
He gently took the toy from my hand and placed it back on the ground. "It's probably best not to dwell on things like this right now," he said.
I took a deep breath through my nose and nodded. He was right. There were more important things to worry about. One day this house would be rebuilt, and there would be new children to occupy with their own toys. But I needed to think about the present.
With the speed of a ninja, I leaned forward and gave Kili's cheek a kiss. His face took on a lovely rose hue. "I love you, Kili."
He responded by reaching for my face and giving me a proper kiss. "I love you too," he said against my lips.
I was taking every bit of affection that I could. With threats looming so closely, I felt now was important to let Kili know how much I loved him. I would not face death without one more kiss.
His eyes were so warm I felt like I could look at them forever.
A commotion of voices rose up from outside. Reluctantly, I dragged my eyes away from Kili and looked through one of the windows. Less of a window and more of a convenient hole in the wall.
I saw several people walking in one direction, focusing on something in front of them. Or someone in front of them, I should say. Through the crowd, my gaze caught the sight of a rather distinguished grey hat. It towered above people's heads so that I could easily see it. Almost akin to a shark's fin in a wave.
"Gandalf!" I exclaimed.
"What? He's here?" said Kili, trying to see through the window as well.
"Come on," I said, grabbing Kili by the arm and dragging him out the door.
I had been wondering when Gandalf would return. It had been so long since we'd seen him. His being here made me feel fractionally better. A wizard was always a good thing to keep around, after all.
I, very politely, pushed my way through the wave of people to get to Gandalf. Many of the elves seemed to want to greet him, so it was a bit of a tight squeeze. Thankfully, I didn't have to battle for attention. His face split into a wide grin when he saw us.
"Leah. Kili. It's good to see you," Gandalf sounded in high spirits.
I didn't hesitate to go in for the hug. My arms nearly got lost in his billowy robes, but I managed to get them around him. He hugged me back with equal vigour. The elves around us quickly dispersed to give us some privacy.
"I would have thought that you would reside with the rest of the company," Gandalf raised an eyebrow. "Are they not with you?"
"Thorin has gold sickness," I muttered darkly. "He thinks we're all working against him."
"This is as I feared. The curse on that gold has only increased in strength with a dragon spending so long wallowing in it," Gandalf sighed.
"The company is trying, but Thorin doesn't seem to be getting any better," said Kili.
"No, I imagine not. It is hard to fight against one's own mind. Perhaps harder than fighting an external enemy. It could take quite a lot to shake Thorin free from this," Gandalf mused.
Kili drew in a shaky breath. Gandalf must have been confirming some of his fears.
Gandalf then tried to change the direction of the conversation. "Lord Thranduil has tried to update me on what has happened. There was quite a lot, to say the least."
"You can say that again," I said.
"It has been an age since I have seen your father with such a light in his heart," Gandalf pondered. "It was good to see."
Gandalf laid a hand on my shoulder. "You being here has helped many people. In more ways than you know. You must remember that."
It was like Gandalf poked right on a sore spot. The number of times I had wondered if I was helping or changing things enough was countless. Him saying that made me want to cry a little
"Come," he said, "There is something I wish to show you."
"What is it?" Kili asked.
Gandalf simply tapped his nose and told us to follow him. He led us both back through the streets of Dale on a winding path. Kili and I shared a brief confused look but chose not to voice it, following on in contemplative silence. The wizard was being his usual cryptic self. That was a good sign, at least. It meant that the world was right.
He showed us to one of the houses that Adar had claimed. This one still had a functioning door. One which Gandalf tapped on with his staff. "Would you mind some company?"
"No, no, please come in," came an unknown voice from the other side.
It was deep and gruff and very much not an elf.
Gandalf opened the door to reveal a large empty room. Only one person occupied the space, warming their hands near a crackling fire. Silhouetted against the firelight, I realised that he wasn't a human either. He was a dwarf.
When did a dwarf get here? Had someone from Dain's army arrived early?
The dwarf was rather thin, almost emaciated, with hollow cheeks. His dark hair was being invaded by a wave of grey, and his beard was bushy and unkempt. Yet he smiled wider and happier than anyone I had seen recently. There was a light blazing in his eyes, a fierce determination that I could only admire. His smile froze when he landed on Kili
Gandalf had a light in his eyes of his own when he turned to us. "Leah. Kili. Let me introduce you to my old friend. Thrain, son of Thror."
My mind slammed to a stop, uncomprehending.
Thrain.
As in Thorin's father, Thrain?
The one that had been locked up in Dol Guldur for decades?
That, Thrain?
When I had begged people to help him, It had been a fool's hope. Like a child who thinks they can save the whole world and everyone in it. A part of me had already conceded it as a loss, something that could never actually happen.
But here he was. Frail and worn out but unquestioningly and indisputably alive. The knowledge of that bulldozed through my body, and I felt my knees go weak.
"You're alive," my voice cracked. "Oh my god, you're alive."
Thrain laughed good-naturedly and made his way over to us. He grabbed one of my hands in both of his. "Gandalf tells me that I have you to thank for that, my lady."
I had saved someone. I had changed something for the better. That was all I wanted to do with this quest. To change things and have a lasting impact. The shock of succeeding was too much. The urge to sob whirled up within me, and I wasn't strong enough to stop it
Thrain turned to Kili, who wasn't faring much better than me. His lip wavered in a bid to stop himself from crying. Thrain reached out a hand to Kili's face. "You, my boy, I know a Durin when I see one."
"Ugmil-adad, Kili whispered, leaning forward to touch his forehead to Thrain's.
They both stayed like that for a second. Eyes closed. "I have a grandson?" Thrain said with reverence.
He leaned back so that he could look at Kili once more. He drank in every feature. "Are you Thorin's lad?"
"Dis's," said Kili with a watery smile.
"Of course, of course, I see it now. You have her nose. How is she? My little girl, it's been so long," Thrain had his own tears building in his eyes.
"She's the most amazing Amad ever. To both me and Fili," Kili's eyes were bright as he spoke about his mum.
"I have another grandson?" Thrain exclaimed as if it was the best news he ever heard. "When I was captured, I never once imagined that I would ever see my family again. Now here I am with more family than I even knew about."
Thrain really knew how to tug on the heartstrings. I would be dehydrated from all the tears by the end of the day.
"I have a grandfather," Kili looked like he was mainly talking to himself, airing his own thoughts. "I've never had a grandfather before. I don't know what it's like."
We were sitting at what could be viewed as a table if you turned your head and squinted a bit. It was more like a semi-flat piece of wood on top of a pile of rubble. If you leaned too heavily on it, the whole thing would likely tip over. But it was serving its purpose.
We sat down with Thrain and ate with him. The dwarf was rather skinny from his time in captivity. I seriously doubted he'd had a proper meal in many years. I tried to offer half of my own bowl of stew to him, but he refused it good-naturedly. Apparently, it was bad form to take the food from ladies' mouths.
Mum joined us at one point too. Though Adar decided to steer clear. According to Mum, Thrain and Adar's introduction was chilly, to say the least. Thrain struggled to reconcile the elf that had first left them to a dragon with the one that had finally felled the beast. I couldn't blame Thrain for his lack of trust, and Adar also didn't hold it against him. Or so Mum told me anyway.
We all tried our best to fill in Thrain with what he had missed. Which was, in retrospect, quite a lot. Kili took the reins for most of that conversation. He was very eager to tell his grandfather about life in the blue mountains. Thrain had been captured before the dwarves had settled there, so he did not know what they were like.
It felt good to hear Kili talk so animatedly about his home. I caught myself smiling like a loon whenever he spoke. It didn't take long for Thrain to clue in that Kili and I were together. His eyes zeroed in on our courting braids, and the dwarf burst out laughing. Evidently, he found the situation just as humorous as his son did. The fact that his grandson had wooed an elven princess was clearly a point of pride.
When he learned about the origins of the courting beads, he had been simultaneously amazed and horrified. Amazed that it was made of a material from the Mahal's own halls and horrified that Kili had died in order to get them. His eyes had misted over when he thought about how close it had been for him never to have met his grandson.
Thrain also looked at me in a very different light when he found out what I did. He reached across the table and covered my hand with his own.
"I feel like I owe so much to you, and we barely even know one another," he had said. "Once again, I must thank you, my Lady."
"You don't have to keep thanking me," I said, my cheeks heating up.
"Oh, I am nowhere near done, gamzûna. You are going to have to get used to it."
Thrain went on to explain the ordeals he had gone through. It was truly awful to hear, and I was certain that he wasn't telling the whole story either. He was downplaying it or omitting parts entirely. But even with his watered-down version, it made my skin crawl. My mind struggled to comprehend the horrors that he had lived through.
Yet the dwarf in question looked like he was full of life. Weak as he was, there was an undeniable light in his eyes. I couldn't tell if that was Gandalf's doing – as the wizard had used his magic to clear Thrain's mind - or if the dwarf was just that resilient. Nevertheless, it was still an amazing feat.
He was very concerned about his son.
Thrain had grown tired as night began to fall. He was still healing from his ordeal. It would take a good while before Thrain would be strong and healthy again. A fact that was starting to worry me. He was in no state to enter a battle, yet one was marching towards us every second. I just hoped that we could convince him to find somewhere safe to wait it out. Dwarves were exceptionally stubborn, and there was every chance Thrain would still try to fight despite his condition.
I didn't want him to die just as we had saved him.
He left first to go and find a place to rest his head. Then Gandalf slipped away along with Mum. The latter reached over to kiss my forehead before she left. That left just Kili and me in the room, both still reeling from the shock of the day.
"I've never had grandparents either," I replied to his previous statement. "They all died before I was born."
That was true for both worlds, actually. Even in my human life, my grandparents hadn't been around. It was quite a sad thought.
I would meet them one day, though, in Valinor. Which was a very strange thought indeed. I don't know if I really believed in heaven back on earth. Obviously, it was an idea I tried to cling to. The idea that my dad and brother were somewhere waiting for me had been one of my greatest forms of comfort. But as the years went on, that belief wavered.
Yet here, in this beautiful, harsh, magical world, it was a certainty. It was probably a solace for the people that lived here. That their loved ones would see them again.
Kili looked up at me, a small smile tugging at his lips. It felt a little strange to be bonding over the lack of grandparents. But life is weird that way.
"A lot of my friends still had their grandparents, though," I said. "They gave them money and cakes and stuff."
"I like money and cakes and stuff," Kili repeated.
"I know you do."
Kili looked down at where he had folded his hands on the table. "So you knew this whole time that Thrain was alive?" he asked. I couldn't tell if he sounded hurt or not.
"Yes, I did."
"You could have told us. It seems like a pretty big thing to keep hidden" Kili was tapping his fingers against the back of his hand, not looking in my direction.
It was another thing I had kept from him. I felt my stomach contort at the thought. Would I just keep inadvertently hurting him? I hated being the cause of his upset.
I reached out and took Kili's hand, stopping their fidgeting. "I didn't want to keep it hidden from you, Kili. In fact, I came very close to screaming it from the cliff tops a couple of times."
The corner of his mouth twitched.
"It's just," I paused, not knowing the best way to say this. "I didn't want to get your hopes up only for them to be dashed. To find out that he was alive only for you to lose him again would be devastating. Especially to Thorin."
Kili looked up, surprised. "Wait, what do you mean? Was Thrain's rescue not a part of the story?"
I shook my head sadly. "In the story, Gandalf finds Thrain in Dol Guldur, but he gets captured by an evil spirit. Thrain would have died trying to help him."
"He died?" Kili breathed.
I nodded. "So that's why I told Gandalf not to go in there alone and why I asked Lady Galadriel to do what she could to help."
I wonder what actually went down in Dol Guldur. Gandalf looked to be in perfect health, and he even had his normal staff. That felt like a good sign.
"You saved him," he breathed. He looked at me with wonder.
"Well, no. Gandalf saved him. I just gave a little nudge in the right direction."
"Without which, he wouldn't be here," said Kili. He reached up a hand to cradle my face. "Thank you, Leah. From the bottom of my heart, thank you."
"You can thank me in other ways, you know," I said, smiling at him.
"Oh, and what way is that?" His eyes lit up.
"Kiss me."
"As the lady commands."