Chapter 88. The Olive Branch

On Sunday morning, Jake picked up Julia on his way to church. They met Allie, Archie, and Nathan outside and chatted a while. Then they all entered and sat together. Julia sat right in the middle, and as she did she thought to herself what a nice family they all made. All that was missing was Rebecca and Auntie Elle.

The service was very inspiring, and the music just beautiful. Joseph's message was about loving your neighbor, from Mark 12:31. He included a brief recap of his sermon last week, which was about the first of Jesus' two great commandments: to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And then he spoke of the second great commandment: to love your neighbor as yourself. The end of Mark 12:31 says, "there is no commandment greater than these." So, Joseph affectionately called them, Jesus' two great commandments. As usual, Joseph made his message practical, and even included a long list of ways we can love our neighbor. It was a beautiful sermon, and Julia was a tiny bit sad she'd missed last week.

After church, Jake and Julia went for lunch at Nathan's, though they didn't stay long. Nathan had several things to do, before his party in the evening.

After lunch, as soon as her Dad left the house, and Archie was laid back and napping on the couch, Allie snuck up to Nathan's room. She was still sleeping in there on the cot, so technically, it wasn't sneaking. But, she felt sneaky because she was on a mission, a mission that had been given her by Rosemary Coulter.

Allie went straight to her Dad's dressing table and opened an intricate handmade wooden box sitting on top. A box that he, of course, had fashioned by his own hand. Safely tucked inside were a myriad of shiny metal pins, in all shapes and sizes. Each one represented some rank or commendation that her father had earned, by the sweat of his brow, and often, by great personal sacrifice. She proudly fingered a few of them, some were from his military days and the rest, from the Mounties. Her heart swelled with pride, for such a father. Allie thoughtfully closed the lid, securing it ever so carefully.

Allie moved next to Nathan's closet. She reached into the back and retrieved his extra back-up serge, one that was always clean and ready, in case. Allie still found the bright red Mountie uniform impressive, each and every time she held it up close.

Allie came quietly down the stairs, careful not to wake her grandfather. She moved to the front door and silently slipped out. She walked down the lane the short distance to the Counter's row house, and softly knocked on the door.

Rosemary opened, delighted to see Allie, and the two items she carried.

As Nathan walked into town, he couldn't get Joseph's message from this morning, out of his head. Love your neighbor as yourself. He thought about that tall order. And, it was just that, a pretty tall order. He had been trained to put others first in the line of duty, but could he do it so easily in his personal life? Sure he could, if it was for Allie or Julia, or his mother or Archie. That would be easy, because he loved them. But, what about those he didn't love, or those he didn't even necessarily like? Like Lucas Bouchard.

Jesus hadn't said love those you love as yourself. Oh, no. He had said love your neighbor as yourself. So, what had He meant, by that simple noun, neighbor? Who qualified as his neighbor? Anyone and everyone in town? Even those he didn't necessarily like? Nathan could guess the answer. He knew it already, deep deep down.

And for the second time, one name came to mind: Lucas Bouchard.

Could he extend grace to someone who had never given him the same courtesy? Could he offer comfort and a listening ear to someone who had never bothered to make the same gesture?

Nathan, of all people, knew what it was like to be sucked into the confusing emotional whirlwind of Elizabeth Thatcher Thornton. To be wrapped around her finger and always searching, ever waiting for a sign, any sign of requited affection. And worst of all, he knew knew the sting of her harsh, relentless rejection.

Finally, Nathan yielded to the still small voice. He knew it well, and would no longer deny what it was asking him to do.

He unlocked the downstairs Mountie office, and placed his bag of things, the things that he had intended to carry upstairs and immediately get to work on, in the chair opposite Jake's tidy desk. Then he locked the door back firm, and walked slowly to the saloon.

Nathan climbed the outside stairs, to the second floor of the Queen of Hearts. It was the exact route he had taken his very first day in Hope Valley, though in reverse. That day, over four years ago, he had come down from the second floor, and walked across to the Mountie office, though he had done so under the weight of a thousand watchful eyes. Or so it had felt. The scrutiny of the onlookers had nearly burned a hole in his head. And he had immediately felt the weight of the great burden he had chosen to carry, in coming to Hope Valley.

Today, he was free of that burden. Now, he was a part of this community. And now, he was home. What a world of difference four years can make.

As he opened the door to the upstairs hallway, Nathan wondered what difference, if any, this visit would make. For Lucas Bouchard, probably no difference at all. Because it was highly unlikely that Lucas would even open his door to Nathan, in the first place. Secondly, it was even less likely that Lucas would listen to anything he had to say. But, Nathan had to try. He only knew that this was something he had to do.

When he arrived at Lucas' office door, he tapped three times lightly.

"Who's there?" A very gruff unwelcome came from within.

"Lucas, it's Nathan Grant. Can I please come in for a moment?" He said through the door.

After what felt like five minutes, Nathan finally heard a lock turn and give way, and the door slowly crept open. Nathan stepped inside with a solemn grin.

Lucas didn't look good. His beard was overgrown and his hair was a mess. He looked like he'd been sleeping in his office, and Nathan's suspicion was all but confirmed when he spotted a pillow and blanket on the small couch in the corner.

The books and the many things that Lucas had collected on his travels had all disappeared from the shelves behind him. They were likely stored in the boxes that now made up a huge stack that almost completely covered one wall. And the walls, they were completely bare now, too. In fact, there was nothing in Lucas' office anymore, except his big mahogany desk all littered with papers, the desk chair he sat in, one armchair opposite the desk, the couch, pillow, and blanket in the corner, and that huge stack of boxes that seemed to contain everything Lucas owned.

And then, there was the shell of a man.

Lucas sat solemn and motioned for Nathan to take the armchair, so he did. As soon as Nathan looked level at Lucas, his heart went out to him. Nathan had been in exactly the same spot, nearly a year ago. Although, perhaps not quite as invested nor as deep as Lucas. But that was only because Elizabeth had bowed out before things had gotten serious, and left Nathan's sentiments unrequited. She had played it safe, and cut Nathan loose. Looking back now, perhaps that had been a grace. Not from her, but from somewhere else entirely. A grace that had preserved him just enough, and allowed him to be put back to wholeness, just in time, for the moment when Julia walked into his life.

Lucas however, had not been extended that same grace. Elizabeth had chosen him, and returned his affections. They'd had almost a year of being together, and Lucas had known a happy season of courting her, which probably made this break all the more jagged.

Nathan suddenly needed to break the silence, anything to cut the palpable stench of heartache.

He ventured. "How are you doing, Lucas?"

"What do you care?" Was Lucas' harsh reply as he stared blankly at the end of a pen, he held up in the air.

"I'm sorry, Lucas." Nathan offered honestly, even though he felt sure it wouldn't make any difference, nor penetrate Lucas' cloud of misery. But, somehow it did.

Lucas focused and held Nathan's gaze, which was sincere. There was a simple unspoken understanding that passed between them. And, Lucas nodded. "Thank you, Nathan."

"I hear you're leaving." Nathan stated simply, hoping Lucas would expound.

"Yes. I can't stay." Lucas told him. "I don't want to be here when she gets back."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Nathan told him. "I know we never got off on the right foot. We were probably never meant to be friends, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry for the way things went between you and me."

"That's kind of you to say, Nathan." Lucas held his gaze. "Especially after the way I treated you. And quite frankly, I never liked the way things went between us, either." Lucas sat back in his chair and looked square at the man before him. He took the olive branch. "You know, in reality, neither one of us ever really had a chance with her." Lucas frowned. "We never had a chance to be friends either, and I find that a pity."

Nathan thought it unlikely that he and Lucas would have naturally been friends, even if Elizabeth hadn't been between them. But now, they would never know. The only thing he did know, was that what Lucas faced was not easy. And the allure to start over, even if all alone, was an attractive one. Way back when, Nathan would certainly have left too, had it not been for Allie.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Nathan offered.

Lucas' gaze returned to his twirling pen top. He spoke matter of fact, almost mechanically. "What's to talk about? Her family didn't like me, and rather than stand up for me, the way she had for Jack, she faltered. And when she did, everyone saw through her. They all knew that she didn't love me, not the way she loved Jack. Not the way I love her." He looked back at Nathan. "It was all a ruse. She thought she loved me, had convinced herself, but she didn't." Lucas took a deep breath. There was more truth to be had. "Her heart is still with Jack. And only you ever had a chance at capturing it away from him. I think she realized that early on, but resolved herself to self-protection and self-preservation. I was her dummy, her patsy, her go-to, her substitute. All to avoid her feelings for you."

Lucas frowned at Nathan. "You told me once that you thought her heart had always been with me. But, that was never true and I think you knew it." Lucas' face was sadder still, as he referred to their conversation in the saloon just after Elizabeth had broken Nathan's heart. "She must have said something horrible and unthinkable to you that day. Because, when you came to me that evening, I knew she'd done it. You'd had enough of her roller coaster, and you wanted to bow out. And, I think you thought that was the easiest way."

"But, the truth is, at that moment, all those months ago, you were the one who was in her heart. And the lies she spewed on you, were all lies to protect herself. Her last-ditch effort to push you away." Lucas told him.

Then Lucas continued, cynical now. "I saw the hug just after the young Mountie died. And, I saw the way she looked at you that whole year, and the one before. She was pulled to you. And eventually, I told her so. I broke it off with her. Did you ever know that?" Lucas asked Nathan.

Nathan didn't answer, so Lucas did. "The day before she came to you in the jail and told you all those horrible lies, I broke it off with her." Lucas remembered like it was yesterday. "I thought it would send her straight into your arms, but she chose to destroy you instead." Lucas admitted. "I never saw that one coming. And, I felt horrible for it." He frowned again. "But when she came back to me, she was so...convincing. I honestly believed she had fallen for me. It was so stupid of me."

Lucas shook his head. "She conned me. I…" His voice cracked and he folded his arms on the desk and hid his face inside them. Nathan frowned at the way Lucas' shoulders shook for a very long time. Finally, Lucas brought his face back up, embarrassed now. "How could I be such a fool?" Nathan had asked himself that question so many times after that fateful conversation in the jail.

"Lucas, I'm so sorry." Nathan rasped with sincerity. All the time that Nathan had been trying to protect Elizabeth, he had never once considered that Lucas Bouchard had feelings. Sure he was shady, and had a questionable past, but he still had feelings. And, perhaps all his shady-ness was simply a defense mechanism, a way to protect himself, so that he could never be hurt. And here, Elizabeth had hurt him, and deeply. Nathan told him again, "I'm so so sorry."

Lucas took his handkerchief, blew his nose, and composed himself. "Thank you, Nathan."

All of a sudden, just as quickly as it had disappeared, Lucas' thick protective outer layer was right back in place, and ready to defend him to the end. This seemed to signal that Lucas was done talking about Elizabeth Thatcher Thornton.

"Where will you go?" Nathan asked.

"Back to Cape Fullerton. I always liked it there. An old friend has a new business venture for me, in shipping. I'm excited about it." Lucas reported.

"Sometimes I'm called to testify in Cape Fullerton." Nathan told him, just putting it out there.

"Well, if you are ever in the neighborhood, please look me up." Lucas told him. "I can't say at this juncture, if I will ever come back here for a visit. This place just feels bitter to me now."

Nathan could understand that. He remembered the bitterness. That whole nine months until Julia arrived, he had known and tasted that strong, unrelenting bitterness. Though, he hadn't been given the option to escape it. Nathan had weathered it, each and every day. He had held his head up through it all, and he had done so for Allie. And now, he wouldn't change a thing. Not one.

"Lucas, I wish you every good thing, even those things you feel you don't deserve. I remember what it's like to be without hope. And, it's a lonely place. So, I will pray for you, my friend. I will remember you, and pray for you." Nathan told him, with an encouraging tone, bathed in hope. "I remember how dark that pit is. I felt unworthy and as though I deserved it. Rejection will do that to you. It's a bitter pill to swallow." He was unable to stop there. "But I met with Joseph, and he helped me see that God's grace is sufficient. I didn't need a woman to make me whole. Only God could do that." Nathan let that sink in. "And, He did."

"I'm too far gone, Nathan. I've done too many questionable things in my life." Lucas told him, despair right there at the top.

But Nathan battled that despair with more hope. "You are never too far gone, Lucas. Not for God." Nathan decided to just tell him straight. "And, until you are whole, Lucas, no woman will ever fulfill you." He paused and waited until Lucas met his gaze again. "Because only God can do that, too."

"I've never really believed in all that." Lucas told him.

"Well, neither did I, until God did it in my own life." Nathan told him in all honesty. "But, I know it to be true. One hundred percent."

Nathan spoke sincerely and from his own experience. Lucas could see that clearly. And to be frank, he thought that anything sounded better than this huge gaping wound in the center of his chest. Over the course of his life, Lucas had literally tried just about everything else, but God, and nothing had fulfilled him. Perhaps there was some truth to Nathan's words. "Joseph, huh?"

Nathan nodded. "He's a great place to start, and a very nice guy." Nathan, himself, had grown up going to church, and had heard the truth here and there, but faith had become real to him, because of Joseph's influence in his life. "He's a real good friend."

Lucas nodded. "Thanks for the advice, Nathan. I'll think about it."

"You won't regret it, Lucas." Nathan told him. "Whatever you decide, know that we will all be sorry to see you leave. I hope you will consider coming back one day, even if just for a visit."

Nathan still needed to go one more. "And, I am truly, deeply sorry, Lucas. For your loss. And for everything that happened between us." Nathan looked him straight in the eye. "Please forgive me, for any part I played in your pain."

That was a strange concept for Lucas, to be asked for forgiveness. He wasn't sure how it all worked, but somehow it felt right to release Nathan. "I forgive you, Nathan. You always were a better man than me."

"That's not true, Lucas. We're just…different." Nathan encouraged him. "I really do wish you all the best."

Lucas nodded. "Thanks, Nathan." He paused. "I wish you all the best, too."

Nathan stood to go. Lucas stood, too, and the two men shook hands. Nathan and Lucas parted ways, unsure if their paths would ever cross again.

Nathan descended the stairs of the Queen of Hearts and walked back towards the Mountie office. Though, he didn't go back in just yet. Instead, he walked down the lane to the row houses, and straight to Joseph Canfield's.

When he came out of Joseph's house, Nathan was not alone. Joseph was with him, and together they walked back towards town. Though, Nathan turned off at the Mountie office, and Joseph continued on to the Queen of Hearts. He went up the side stairs towards Lucas' office. Nathan had told him just enough, to know that Lucas needed a visit.

Nathan said a quiet prayer that Lucas would open up to Joseph, as he grabbed his bag and headed up the back steps.

Though, when he reached the top of the stairs, Nathan stopped in his tracks...cold. His mouth fell open in...shock.

There, on the wall, just next to the door to his office, hung a plaque…a beautiful nameplate. It had obviously been installed while he was gone, as a surprise, and he knew instantly from who.

At the top of the nameplate, were the letters NWMP. In the middle, was the Mountie insignia. And set below it, as if to signify who office was found here, were three words:

Nathan Grant, Inspector

All had been beautifully and elegantly painted, by hand.

Nathan took a deep breath. He traced each letter with his unsteady fingers. Each brushstroke was perfectly placed and meticulous.

He unlocked the door and tossed his bag inside. Nathan stood fixated on the plaque for another minute, taking it every intricate, exquisite detail. He was profoundly touched.

He had to find her.

Nathan knocked three times on Julia's back door. When she opened, she opened only a crack, and stepped quickly outside. She closed the door tight behind her, taking care that Nathan didn't see anything.

He abruptly stepped back as Julia came barreling out.

Then, he took her in.

Nathan's breath caught when he saw how beautiful she looked in her loose, messy bun. The many soft tendrils that had escaped down around her face were gently blowing in the breeze. To his surprise, she wore a painter's apron that was all splattered with paint. Underneath it, her shirt was open at the top, and he could make out three little freckles on her chest. His heart nearly stopped when he saw splatters of paint, made evident by their bright colors, mixed in with those freckles. He knew there were also light freckles on her shoulders, and his insides seized at the memory of that accidental discovery.

Across one cheek, she had a long light streak of blue, and more colorful splatters were mixed in with the light freckles that dusted her cheeks. Nathan's eyes drifted to a soft pink splotch on her forehead, just above her right eye.

His heart began to race as he stepped closer and gently tried to wipe away the blue with his thumb. As soon as his hand made contact with her cheek, and she leaned slightly into his touch, he felt a heat deep in his belly. He had to take a deep, calming breath, as he was hit with the reminder of how very much he was attracted to this woman.

Then another realization caught up with him, and hit him hard.

She was painting.

Nathan couldn't contain his smile, as he gazed at her. She hadn't picked up a paintbrush since her father died, except for the one exception of the Founder's Day festival. And obviously, for his plaque. And he could tell by looking at her, there must be more. What had made her change her mind? What had inspired her to paint again?

It didn't matter. All that mattered was that... she...was painting.

Another deep breath, and he managed a weak and raspy, "Hi."

Their bodies stood more than a foot apart, their only point of contact his hand, still tenderly on her cheek.

"Hi." She whispered back.

He couldn't believe it. He wanted to know, had to know all about it. "You're painting?"

A small, silent nod.

Again that slow smile he just couldn't contain. "Can I see?" He asked just above a whisper.

How to answer that? No, he shouldn't see. Even though she longed to show him, to share it with him. But, not yet. Not until his birthday.

Her eyes were deep and blue, and seemed sorry for the wait. "Not yet." She was still frozen by his intense gaze and his tender touch. "It's not ready yet."

He nodded, accepting that answer, for now. Though he wanted to see very badly, and be privy to that part of her life. And most of all, he wanted to see her work. He longed to see it very much. He softly rasped, "Will you show me as soon as it's ready?"

Another soft, silent nod.

Nathan searched her eyes, searched her beautiful face, touched by this revelation. She was painting again.

Though, he had known that already, because of the nameplate she had made to mark his office. He had completely forgotten his reason for coming.

Finally, he found his voice and remembered his purpose. "Jules, I just went up to my office."

A slow timid smile washed over her features. "You found my gift." The one she had painted with her own hands, and had sought Jake's help to put in place.

"I love it." He rasped. One more tiny smile from her, and his voice was gone again. He tried clearing his throat.

Then, her eyes went unconsciously to his lips, and his restraint crumbled. He gave up his feeble attempt to thank her. His mind was already somewhere else.

He brought his free hand up to her other cheek and closed the gap that separated them. And he kissed her. The heat in his belly was fanned into flame the instant their lips met. And it spread like wildfire to Julia. The kiss turned passionate and he brought his arms around her back and pulled her closer. When he did, Julia's arms came up and her elbows crossed just behind his neck.

The kiss was long and intense, and then it waned to soft and tender.

Nathan pulled back mere inches and looked into her eyes.

"Thank you." He whispered low.

"Congratulations." She answered, trying to convey the message that it was a gift for his promotion. Though, she didn't think either of them was communicating very well with words, at the moment.

Nathan came the short distance and kissed her again, slow and tender this time. But even so, he was on fire for this woman, to the insides of his bones.

When the kiss dimmed, Julia let her arms fall a little until her hands were softly resting on his cheeks. She loved the feel of his soft skin next to his light stubble. When he pulled back a little and looked down at her, her chest was flushed and heaving. He could see the same longing in her eyes as he searched them, as he searched her face, and took in everything about her. A slow easy smile pulled at the sides of her mouth, and it was contagious. He knew he wore the same silly smile.

Happiness was a place with lots and lots of smiles...of all different kinds.

Julia let her hands linger there, as they gazed at each other. Then, she slowly let them fall. Though, one of her fingers left a light streak of bright white, right across his jaw.

She giggled softly and wondered what to do. Nathan looked down at her hands and understood immediately.

Julia softy whispered, "Oops," as she tried to wipe away the paint she'd left behind. More soft giggles, signaling that her adorable efforts weren't successful.

She stayed close but pulled up a damp towel that was hanging from her painter's apron. Nathan wore an amused and happy grin, cocked his head, and stayed stone-still as she ever-so-gently wiped.

"There." She told him softly. "Right as rain."

"Are you sure?" Nathan teased her.

Julia giggled softly and nodded yes. "Sorry about that."

Nathan was still wearing that amused smile. "Don't be sorry. I love that you are painting." He paused, "And I love my gift. Thank you, Jules."

"I wanted to do something to mark your promotion." She explained, finally able to string some decent words together.

He tilted his head and asked her playfully, "Because the trip to Union City and the party aren't enough?"

She shook her head no, with a playful smile.

"You spoil me, Miss Matthews." Nathan teased.

She teased him right back. "Get used to it, Mr. Grant."

He nodded and smiled at her, still amused, and happy all the way to the deepest recesses of his heart.

"And anyway, I had nothing to do with the party." She explained, matter of fact.

Either way, Nathan was still overwhelmed and so he pulled Julia into his arms. He held her in her place, the place where she fit just right. He let his chin and cheek rest on her hair, that smelled of roses today. He closed his eyes and breathed her in. And he held her close until his racing heart fell into rhythm with hers.

Then, he slowly pulled back. Nathan kissed her one more time on the cheek, and one more time on the hand. Then he told her he would come back for her, just before 6:30 p.m., to pick her up for the party.