"My empress, we've taken the female straw hat members as per your request."

"Bring them in. Now."

Three women were thrown into the chambers of Boa Hancock, tied up, with bags over their heads. Two of them were struggling and making a lot of noise while one was mostly silent and calm about the situation. Boa Hancock leaned back in her throne, the towering woman looking down at her captives, regarding them with minor disdain.

"Just these three?" Boa asked. To which the amazon in front of her nodded. "I was led to believe there were more."

"These were the only three female we found among the straw hats ranks." According to the information they gathered they was a potential six females but only three were taken. The rumored honorary straw hat with blue hair was nowhere to be found. The racoon was tricky, but some observations led to the conclusion the animal was male. As for the skeleton… that was trickiest. Better safe than sorry and what not. Thankfully once it asked to see their panties, they were pretty sure whatever it was, it wasn't female.

Boa turned her gaze back towards her captives. "Let them free." She ordered, her devoted amazons quickly working to free the three of them.

Nami was the first out, her long, orange hair falling free in messy fashion around her face, framing her annoyed expression perfectly. "What gives you the right to kidnap me, huh? Are you here to ransom me, or what? Cus if you are I'm at least worth 500,000,000 Beli!" If you checked her wanted posters, that was, of course, a lie. But Nami wasn't going to be undervalued…

When the bag came off of Robin's head, she just had a small smile, looking rather serene as usual. After her lonely childhood and adventures with her friends, nothing phased her anymore. Being captured by an Amazon Queen was just par for the course.

Yamato meanwhile was trying to fight her way out of this, trying to use her teeth to tear through her bindings. The Amazons were hesitant to undo the ropes tying her up and instead focusing on freeing the other two for now leaving her the oni still tied up.

The pirate empress didn't look so happy to see the looks of these women. Literally. Not that she would ever admit this out loud, but these girls were beautiful. Nowhere near the level of her own beauty. But she supposed if you went by regular standards of beauty even, she would admit these three were good looking. To think these women were on his crew just made her jealous beyond belief…

"Mmmmhhh" Yamato was still doing her best to gnaw out of her rope, only stopping to get a good look at their captor. "Who the heck are you?"

"Boa Hancock." Robin answered for her. "She's one of the seven pirate warlords and known as the empress of all pirates."

"I don't care if you're an empress or queen of the world." Nami said. "You aren't gonna get away with this."

"Even if my crime is brought to light, I'll still be forgiven. Why you ask? Because I'm beautiful!" She leaned backwards, facing the ceiling above. She was looking down on them so much that her gaze had gone full circle around the world leaving her staring upwards. "Regardless. I have called all of you here today for one simple reason…" Hancock leaned back in her throne. "… I must know… how to get the attention of your captain!" Boa Hancock blushed profusely, hands resting against her cheeks, a rather girlish, uncharacteristically shy look in her eyes.

"Eh?" Three strawhats members said in unison.

It became quiet enough to hear a pin drop in the room. Even Yamato had stopped struggling. "Wait, that's what this is a about?" The massive girl looked a little weirded out.

Meanwhile Robin was smiling all while this played out. With her devil fruit powers she'd managed to get a rough estimate of the path they took and a way to escape. But now, she seemed more interested in hearing about this supposed relationship between their captain and the pirate empress.

"Are… Are you serious…?" Nami asked, "Our captain…?"

"Yes."

"The one with the massive bounty."

"Uh-Huh."

"Who wears a straw hat."

"That's him."

"Monkey D. Luffy!?"

Boa squealed like some sort of teenage high school girl.

Nami was looking at that unbelievably beautiful woman like she had some kind of brain defect. Was this a joke? What the hell did she see in that rubber idiot?

"And you think you and him can be together?"

"I know, I know… I am simply unworthy of his attention… but my heart cannot take it anymore. I must have him…" She overdramatically placed the back of her head against her forehead, swooning in her chair and beginning to sink down into it. "That's why I've summoned-"

"Kidnapped." Robin corrected.

Hancock didn't see a difference. "You all here to interrogate you for information on how to win Luffy's heart… Kya!" She blushed grabbing a cheek in each hand. "It won't be long before we're together now Luffy."

Nami wasn't sure if she wanted to break this lady's bubble or not. Their captain was not only an idiot but seemingly asexual. She wasn't even sure if that boy has had a single perverted thought in his life. But here was this lady thinking that he would be interested in anyone, including her…

"Robin, got any ideas?" Nami whispered.

Robin giggled softly. "… This is unexpected. It seems our captain has a doting admirer."

Okay, so Robin wasn't going to be much help in getting out of this mess. That Nami left with…

"MMhhhh…" Yamato had lost interest in the conservation, going back to rope biting for freedom. She rolled around on the floor like an animal trying to break free.

Nami hadn't known Yamato for very long. Like most of her friends, her captain probably invited her into the crew a whim because she looked cool. While this girl had a lot of brawn, she seemed to rival Luffy in terms of brain power. So, it was up to Nami to find a way to escape from the pirate queen. The massively powerful pirate queen. The massively powerful pirate queen with lots of money.

If one looked in Nami's eyes, you'd see her pupils turn into giant beli signs.

"Well… I know a few things that could get his attention, but it really depends on how much you're willing to pay me…" Nami crossed her arms underneath her bosom, smirking big. "With this info, our captain will be falling at your feet. But this is some primo information that only we know… so it's gonna cost you a lot."

After all the adventures her crew had gone on, the vaults of the straw hats funds had gotten really light. Even though they were pirates, they really didn't do much plundering or looting. Everyone was too busy saving countries, people, crewmates, or slaves to do traditional pirate things. Technically the only time they took someone else's money was when it was given to them. Usually as gratitude for saving the day.

"You dare order me! The most beautiful woman of all seas!?" Hancock stood up from her seat, half a mind to turn this floozy into a stone statue.

"If you want a really good chance of getting with him, you should really consider my offer…" Nami giggled, rubbing her hands together. "It could be the difference between a fling and marriage."

Marriage. That one word changed Hancock's whole demeanor. She could already hear the ringing of wedding bells off in the distance. The words from these girls were worth their weight in gold. Just this once, Hancock made an exception for her future husband. She angrily ordered her amazons to grab a sizeable amount of treasure and dump it in front of Nami. An act which had Nami giggling like a maniac, greedily gathering up as many piles of gold and trinkets as she could.

"This is a start!" She said with a maniacal grin.

"You'll earn more upon upholding your word. Now tell me how to win over Luffy. Or else."

"The best way to get to his heart is through his stomach. Make him some delicious meat themed dishes and he'll do whatever you want."

The empress rolled her eyes. "Is that all? I'm already aware of Luffy's fondness for meat. Give me something more unknown."

What else was there to say? Meat, adventure, and friendship. That was all there was to Luffy 101. Which wouldn't cut it in this case. What else did Luffy like? The man was so simple that he didn't really have much that interested him beyond meat, friends, and adventure. Nami racked her brain to think of something like her life depended on it.

A dark smile made its way onto Robins face. "I recommend dancing for him. He is quite entertained by silly dances."

"Robin?" Nami gulped.

"Dancing?" Hancock recalled when Luffy was on Amazon Lily, she heard talks of his strange movements bringing joy to her fellow amazons. She envisioned herself dancing with Luffy. The two of them joining hand in hand, performing erratic movements followed by a spicy tango and wrapping up with a slow waltz. Hancock nodded her head slowly. "Of course… Of course, dancing… what else?"

"Well… you should wear custom-made, gold banana earring."

Nami's jaw dropped to the floor almost like she had her captain's powers.

"Banana earrings? I see... So he has a taste for exotic accessories?"

Sure. Why not. "He also loves clown makeup… Perhaps you could wear platform shoes that make you twelve feet tall… Ah, if you start speaking gibberish to him, he might find that attractive."

Robin went on non-stop giving their captor advice on everything that would win over their captain, each one more ridiculous than the last. Now Nami loved her crew, they were practically family to her. But she was pretty sure one of them would be the death of her someday. She just didn't think it'd be Robin of all people leading her to her grave. There was no way Hancock would believe-

"Genius!" Hancock pointed towards one of the confused amazons standing in the corner, "Someone write this down!"

The two amazons shared a strange look, but they still knew better than to defy their empress. Hancock just continued to listen in to the garbage Robin was spitting out like a preacher from a religious cult.

Nami just glared at Robin like she was a crazy person… She had no idea if Robin genuinely believed that that ridiculous advice would work, or if she was just fucking with Hancock. Her expression was as unreadable as always.

"Grrr…. Come on. Come on!"

The ogre princess flexed her muscles a bit, breaking off the weakened rope. She stepped in front of the other two girls, crossing her arms over her chest. "You said you want Luffy? Why don't you just take him? I mean, you kidnapped us pretty easy, and we've got a bunch of strong guys on our side…" Not including herself of course.

Nami looked at Yamato with a worried expression.

"I bet if you wanted you could just take him for yourself, and if you're super strong then he'll have to be yours."

"Heh… heh… Yamato, remember whose side you're on…" Nami warned. "You're suggesting she just kidnaps and steals away our captain…"

Yamato shrugged her shoulders, "Why not? If she's strong enough, she could do it. No reason to beat around the bush if she wants him so much…"

Yamato's words seemed to light a fire in Hancock's eyes, a burning need. She stepped off of her throne, hands on her hips. Her expression was stern, determined. "… Prepare my ship. I am going to have Luffy, whether he wants me or not!" Hancock clenched her fists. "I will not sit by any longer and let him slip from my grasp! Come! You three will help me! Or else!"

Step aside Robin. Nami's new cause of death was going to be Yamato. "… Good job, Yamato…" Nami grumbled.

Robin chuckled. "My my. This is getting more interesting…"

Yamato looked confused. "… What? That's what I would do." She shrugged her shoulders. "I always kinda wanted to fight Luffy anyways, so… let's go!"

Nami gathered up as much treasure as she could before she got escorted out. "This is gonna end horribly…" she muttered.

Just an idea I had cooking up in my head. Let me know if you want to see this continued.