Detoxication Without Humiliation

The morning sunshine fills the sky with its radiant golden beams, glistening the morning dew. Birds chirping act as an alarm clock and fill the environment with beautiful music as the sky awakens. The horizon is painted with the brush dipped in Mother Nature's palette, giving an ombre of gentle energy.

Yet, despite all of this, nothing could calm the pounding headache Tired felt when she woke up.

She put her hand on her ear, trying to drown out the morning noise. It was only making her pain worse. All she wanted was to go back to sleep, but a hand gently moved up and down her back, eliminating any plans for hibernating that she had.

"You're awake now? Are you alright?"

Tired was startled at first, but when she saw the number on the mystery figure's chest, her worries settled. She answered with a croaky voice, still clogged from her rest.

"Yeah…just…in a lot of pain."

"Welp, that's what happens when you fall asleep before you can take any meds. Not gonna lie, Tired, I thought you'd be more concerned with this."

Tired shook her head, but she immediately regretted it when her head started to hurt more from it. She groaned and buried her face more into her "pillow".

"Yeah, well, I'm in a lot of pain, like I said. Besides, it's not like you're a complete stranger to me anymore, so I believe you didn't do anything bad."

"Y…Are you saying you…trust me?"

"Yes, you bozo. Now, tell me what happened, before I pass out again."

Well, it was clear to Bus now that Tired wasn't mistaking him for anyone else. Her answer was unexpected, but it made sense. They've built up enough trust to do stuff like this. Not wanting to let Tired go back to sleep, he picked her up from out of the bed and started taking her downstairs.

"I'll explain on the way down. You need to get this alcohol flushed out of your system."

"Ah, so that's what happened. It was that wine from yesterday, wasn't it?"

"Bingo."

"Did you say I couldn't take any meds last night?"

"Yep."

He set her down on the chair in the kitchen and handed her the meds and water from last night. She took the pill and chugged down the water, and while she was doing that, Bus explained a bit deeper.

"I tried giving them to you last night, but you fell asleep in my arms before I could."

She finished the glass of water and wiped a bit of it off the corner of her lips.

"Why did I drink so much last night, anyways?"

"You tell me."

"What?"

Bus put a couple slices of bread in a toaster as he spoke.

"Before you got drunk on the couch, I was still at that party from last night, remember? I couldn't have been there to know why you did that."

"Did I say anything to you?"

"…Well…"

He sat down and ruffled the hair at the back of his head.

"You did, but…it's not relevant to why you got drunk. Besides, I'm not exactly sure if you'd own up to it if I told you."

"What did I say?"

Bus looked at her. She was just staring at the wall, the hangover numbing her brain. He figured it wouldn't be too bothersome to tell her. She'll just give the reaction that he expected, and he'll take it like he did all those other times. There was no reason for him to be hesitant about this, and yet, here he was, stalling for time.

"Ohhh, nothing much. You commented on my afro, you hugged me when you saw me-"

"Just tell me, Bus. I'm hungover, not stupid. I can tell when you or anyone else are stalling."

Just like that, any effort to avoid the conversation shut down. He had to tell her now. He touched his fingers together and looked down.

"Okay, okay…The truth is, you broke down after you said you loved me. You started beating yourself up over your behavior toward me, and I had to calm you down. You were a lot more affectionate, too. I couldn't even do anything without carrying you with me everywhere. It was like witnessing an…anti-you."

Tired stayed silent after that, and Bus started to feel awkward. He knew that telling her didn't feel right. Why couldn't she just respond immediately and get it over with? He squirmed around in his seat and tried to laugh it off.

"Nevermind. I knew you didn't mean any of that, anyways. You were just drunk. We can just pretend none of this ever happe-"

"It's true."

"…What?"

It was his turn to be confused. There's no way she said what he thought she said, right? She could've just denied everything easily, but she's doubling down? For what reason?

The toast popped out of the toaster, and while holding her head, Tired walked slowly towards it.

"It's all true, Bus. I know I can be a prick to you, but I don't really wanna act that way anymore. I dunno what it is. Cowardice? Pride? Maybe, it's just my love language? Whatever it is, I can't interact with you like a normal gir-"

She stopped for a second, choking a bit on her words as she took the toast out. Eventually, however, she was able to force the words out, turning over to the side to face Bus.

"G…Girlfriend. I don't interact with you like a normal girlfriend. I wanna be able to show affection and appreciation, but it's just…muffled. Heck, I couldn't even say "I love you" back on the phone last night! I shouldn't only be able to say it when I'm emotionally vulnerable, like on New Year's Eve. I…"

She set the toast on a plate and then onto the table where both of them were sitting.

"I should be able to say it…all the time."

At this point, Tired's emotional barriers were completely stripped. There was nothing to hide anymore. She felt so free yet so empty at the same time. Forget generally interacting with Bus normally. How was she supposed to come back from this? Was nothing from her left? Great job, drunk Tired. You just made the sober you go through an emotional crisis.

She put one of her elbows on the table and leaned her head against her hand. She reached out to grab a piece of toast, but as she did so, another hand reached in and grabbed it, squeezing gently. She looked over to her left to see Bus smiling thoughtfully at her.

"You don't need to say anything. I already know you love me, even without words."

"But-"

"No buts! There's a reason why I dated you and not any other girl from the horde of superfans, y'know."

"Yeah, I get that. You've told me multiple times."

Bus laughed a bit.

"Yeah, but I didn't tell you the real reason!"

"Huh? What are you on about?"

"I didn't realize it yet, but you were the only actual girl who cared about me. Yeah, my reasons back then for dating you were kinda shallow, like how you piqued my interest or whatever the hell I said, but my interest never faded after getting to know you. I was never bored. Do you wanna know why?"

"…I'm listening."

His smile reappeared. He couldn't keep it down.

"With the fans, I could tell that their 'love' was just infatuation. They'd be super obsessed with me and then dump me when they got bored. What's the point of interacting with a woman like that? But you-"

He grabbed her other hand as well and made her face him.

"You are the complete opposite. Even if you were- as you put it- a 'prick' towards me, you still gave me your time and effort. When I was weak, you didn't run away from me."

He winked at her.

"I can guarantee you that those 'superfans' wouldn't have let me stay over at their house while I was sick."

"Oh, geez."

Her eyes probably could've gotten stuck from how far back she rolled them. Even if she was vulnerable at the moment, she was still Tired. Her cheek was turned away from him, and even if it was a golden opportunity to kiss it, Bus resisted the urge, and he tilted her head to face him again.

"The point is…whether you know it or not, what you've done in my life so far means so much more than any fancy words you could possibly use. Even if the phrase 'actions speak louder than words' is cliché, it's true in your case. You don't need to change yourself at all, because this-"

He pointed at her chest. Through that quick contact, he could feel the pacing in her heart quicken.

"-is the woman I fell in love with, not some crazed superfan or cult leader. It's you. At this very moment. Right now."

Her breath was caught in her throat, and her eyes welled up. She held her tears back and inhaled through her nose, trying to keep her emotions together. She thought at first about reeling her hands back to hide her face, but she didn't want to hold back from Bus anymore. Instead, she buried her face in his shoulder and hugged him, which he was quick to accept. He rubbed a hand up and down her back, and instead of being tense, it was almost like she melted. It was a direct contrast to when they both first met. While that moment felt slow with their locked gazes, this moment felt too fast. If Tired could, she would've stayed there forever, but before she could settle, her phone buzzed. She took it out of her pocket to find a text from Alex.

"Hey, Tired! Fig, Percy, and I were gonna go shopping together this afternoon! I know this is a bit last minute, but did you wanna come?"

Her kneejerk reaction was to come up with an excuse due to her hangover, but considering she didn't want to make her friends worry, and considering that she hadn't hung out with her friends in a while, she ultimately made the decision to cave and go with them. She responded yes to Alex and stood up.

"One of my friends just texted me. I'm gonna clean myself up back at home and then hang out with them."

"Are you gonna make it back home on your own? I could drive you, if you'd like."

"No, no. I should be fine. You've already done plenty."

She smiled at him, grateful for what he's done.

"Thank you so much, Bus. Seriously."

Bus nodded.

"No problem! Anything to make you smile again!~"

"Oh my gosh." She facepalmed. "You're so corny."

"Aww, do I see a little blush coming from you, though?~"

"Oh, shut up."

She giggled a bit and pecked him on the lips before taking a piece of toast and heading out the door. Now, the sunshine and other blessings from the outdoors were much more pleasant for her. Funnily enough, her headache also weakened a bit. It was almost like letting everything out cleansed her in a way. She no longer has to live with the burden of fear, deception, and secrecy. Now, she was free to be herself with the man she dated. She was on top of the world!

What could possibly tear her down now?