December 1978

Eileen had always loved Christmas, but the joy of spending that special holiday with her two-month-old twin grandsons was indescribable.

She showered them with gifts and took a lot of pictures of them with their mother.

She looked at Florence with her heart full of pride; the young woman was an amazing mum, she took exceptional care of those babies, hardly ever letting Eileen or the house elves do anything to help her.

February 1979

It was a cold night.

Florence was the only one awake in the house. Her godmother was at a meeting at the day care centre in Hogsmeade where she worked; and Tiffany and Sam had already gone to sleep.

That week would be Florence and the twins' last one at Eileen's, Florence felt it was time to go home with them.

She missed her house and Hogsmeade; also, being at Eileen's she risked meeting Severus.

Florence sighed, her four-month-old baby boys were sleeping peacefully in their crib, and the house was silent; she sat on the bed, opened the book No Cuts: healing through magic, and started reading the chapter her teacher had told all the healers-in-training to read.

Her classes at St. Mungus had started two weeks ago and she was loving them! During the day, Florence left the twins with Eileen at the day care centre in Hogsmeade and felt free to focus on her studies, knowing they were safe with their grandma.

She reached for her cup of tea on the nightstand and a picture caught her eye – that photo had been taken by Eileen on Florence's first summer there, almost three years ago.

Florence and Severus were hugging in the picture, he even had a small smile on his lips.

She closed her eyes, feeling her chest tighten – she missed him.

His absence in her life was like an open wound, always hurting, always bleeding. And their shared dreams, which still happened occasionally, were always hot and romantic, feeding her love for him.

She knew she had to put a stop on those dreams, they weren't helping her forget him, they only made the pain worse.

She reopened her eyes and tried to focus on her book – tried being the key-word, for that was his room, she could still remember the many nights they had spent making love on that same bed; when she looked at her sons, it was hard not to think that they had been made on that exact mattress.

She forced herself not to cry, sipping her tea, taking deep breaths and turning a page on her book.

Then she heard noises downstairs.

Getting up quickly and taking her wand with her, Florence left the bedroom, silently.

She magically sealed the bedroom door and went to the stairs, seeing the kitchen lights were on and walking quietly downstairs.

In the living room, she saw a black coat thrown over the sofa and her heart skipped a beat.

Severus.

He was there!

And suddenly she was taken by a strong mix of emotions, her veela standing up in attention and growling inside her mind, angry and hurt.

Our lives could have been so much different. She thought, going to the kitchen and stopping by the door, finding him making a sandwich by the sink, his back to her.

Then she silently attacked:

Locomotor Mortis.

"Protego!" he cast, turning around to face his attacker, "Florence? Why did you attack me? I could have..."

"You could have done nothing!" she interrupted angrily, "You didn't react fast enough, your guard was down."

"Of course it was down!" He replied with a scoff, "I don't expect to be attacked in my mother's kitchen!"

She looked at him, noticing how he had changed in the six months she hadn't seen him. His hair was longer and his shoulders were broader, he looked physically stronger than she remembered. Her veela started to change from anger to desire and Florence felt her body warming up.

Severus looked down her body, noticing how she looked even more beautiful than he remembered, her hourglass figure was even curvier, and the way the dark green silk nightgown she was wearing touched each curve was making his mouth water.

He could tell her veela had awakened, her eyes changing colour and the sweet vanilla scent, so uniquely hers, was calling to him.

But suddenly a soft baby cry was heard, followed by a second stronger one and Florence moved quickly, "Excuse me." she said before running upstairs.

Severus stood there in the middle of his mother's kitchen in shock.

The babies.

He knew her kids had been born, he had seen them in dreams – images of them seemed to appear every time he had a horrible nightmare, stopping him from dreaming about being tortured. But the reality of their existence hadn't hit him until then.

He sat down at the table, eating his sandwich, trying to hear anything from upstairs; but it seemed that the babies had stopped crying.

He wanted to go up there and blame Florence for everything that was happening to him, blame her for how unhappy he was, how tired and old he felt. But he knew there was only one guilty party in that story, and it wasn't her.

Severus finished his sandwich in complete silence, still trying to listen to what was happening upstairs. But he heard nothing; after the babies' cries had stopped, there was only silence.

Florence and her kids were in his bedroom, and he needed to get in there to grab some clothes and take a shower.

So he got to the upstairs corridor and saw that the door to his bedroom was half-open. He walked in, being careful to not wake them up.

Florence was asleep on his bed, and near the bed he could see a beautiful dark-blue crib.

Suddenly taken by a feeling he decided to call curiosity, Severus walked to the crib and looked inside.

The two baby boys were fast asleep with their tiny hands near their faces. They looked exactly like they did in his dreams. He couldn't say the real colour of their thin hairs for it was a little dark in the room, but he could feel the power of her veela blood in them, weak but there.

The babies were beautiful and he felt calmer as he watched them sleep.

Severus reached out his hand to touch their faces and hands, feeling that they were both warm and soft.

One of them opened his eyes and grabbed his index fingers with his small hand, looking up at him. Severus was afraid the boy was going to start crying but, unexpectedly, the baby gave him a toothless smile, his dark eyes staring up at him curiously. His chest felt tight and Severus walked away from the crib, grabbing some clothes in the wardrobe and going to his bathroom.

In there, he could see Florence had enlarged the space, there was even an armchair in the bathroom now, and her things were all over the sink cabinet, a white lace bra was hanging from a wall hook.

Severus tried to ignore it all, taking a towel from inside the cabinet and getting into the shower stall.

Florence had woken up when Severus walked into the room, but she didn't move.

She watched as he walked to the boys' crib and touched them – her heart beating madly inside her chest when James woke up and stared at his father.

She waited for the bathroom door to close and then she got up to check on her son, but the boy was fast asleep once again.

She walked to the bathroom door and listened to the sound of the water hitting the floor; her veela hadn't forgotten the emotional pain he had caused them but still she yearned for him – that very sexy and wet male specimen in there was her fated one and she wanted him.

Florence hadn't felt any sexual desire since they had conceived the boys; during pregnancy it had been rare the day when she masturbated – only in their shared dreams she'd felt on fire.

But she could feel herself loosing control as she leaned against the wall.

She missed him. His body, his voice, his touches... she wanted him badly.

Florence was brought back to reality by the bathroom door opening and tried to move quickly and reach the bed before he saw her there and asked questions, but she wasn't fast enough.

After making love, he lay down beside her, Florence's head on his chest, his arms around her, holding her close; both of them panting.

"I love you, Florence..." he whispered, unable to stop himself, "Marry me."

She quickly raised her head from his chest, glaring at him, "You know my answer to that question," and got up from the couch, grabbing her nightgown and her knickers from the floor and putting them on.

She walked towards the door without another word.

Severus quickly got up from the sofa and stopped her by grabbing her around the waist and pulling her to him.

"I do know your answer!" he said looking into her eyes, holding her close, "It's yes! You're mine! You want me as much as I want you. You need me as much as I need you. Why won't you accept it?"

"I can't..." she had tears in her emerald eyes, her hands on his still naked chest; she closed her eyes feeling the tears fall, using occlumency to stop him from accessing her mind. "I can't expose my children..."

I have to protect the boys and you. she thought, touching his face:

He let go of her waist; as beautiful as those two baby-boys were, Severus couldn't deny that they were a permanent reminder that he had lost her to Sirius Black.

Florence walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom, wiping her tears; she wanted to say 'Yes', she wanted to marry him, but she knew it was an impossible dream. If she accepted it, she'd be signing Severus' death sentence.

"I'll take care of you and your babies," she heard him whisper, looking briefly at the crib, as he walked out of the bathroom with a pair of joggers on.

"Are you insane?!" Florence breathed furiously, trying not to scream at him, "What about the Dark Lord? Will you just say 'thanks, it was good while it lasted' and then leave the Death Eaters?" she glanced at his Dark Mark.

"No. I don't plan on leaving..."

"Exactly. You're enjoying what you're doing," she said accusingly, wiping away some more tears, "Forget about me, Severus. Just forget about us, please. Go back to your fiancée..."

"How do you...?" He frowned.

"Cassiopeia sent me a letter," Florence smiled sadly. "She keeps me well-informed of everything you two do. Don't worry. I won't tell her what happened here today," she looked at him for a while before continuing: "Just leave. I don't need you or the money I know you now have in spades."

"So you're saying you'd rather have me when I was poor? When you were paying for everything?" he asked, keeping his voice low because of the sleeping babies.

"Yes! And you already know that! I fell in love with you, not your power or money. I just wanted you."

"You still want me," he walked towards her, trying to pull her to him once more.

"But you're not the same," she took a step away from him, "You're no longer the Severus I met and fell in love with. I'm not the same anymore either," she looked at the blue crib that was a few feet from them, "I have my sons to think of now. I can't marry you. Please. Just forget about me," she closed her eyes, letting some tears fall as she forced herself to say the next words: "Marry Cassiopeia and... forget me."

Severus tried to hold her in his arms again.

"Don't." she said, her hands glowing against his chest, "You know I can perform wandless magic, I don't want to hurt you, Severus. Just leave."

He turned around furiously and walked back to the bathroom where he quickly got dressed, before leaving the bedroom without another word.

Florence heard him walking downstairs and the front door opening and closing.

She checked on her sons once more, before lying down on the bed and crying herself to sleep.