The platform came to an abrupt halt when it finally emerged up on the surface.
It took so long. The platform just kept rising and rising. They didn't even want to think about how far deep they had been. And about how in Oblivion did the Dwemer build all this stuff so deep, including the lift going up.
It was so much longer than they had remembered. Maybe because this time, they weren't nearly as panicked as the first time they took this elevator. Not nearly as scared that they were going to die. Sure, there was always the little bit of lingering uneasiness when they used these 'escape routes'. What if it got stuck or something? But they had used enough of them now not to expect imminent death.
The sun was blinding as it seeped through the metal grate surrounding them.
Their eyes had become so adjusted to the dim glow of the wondrous caverns beneath that it was hard to take, especially with the bright snowy peaks around them. They had been underground for so long. At first, all they could really see was a bright white light.
They both hissed in unison. It was very unpleasant, more so than they had ever experienced. Then again, it was the longest time either of them had spent in the darkness like this. Eight days, according to their approximate calculations. And it looked like they were right – it was early in the afternoon, just as they had assumed. That is, unless they had somehow been a whole day off.
But that was unlikely. The strain of the days had told them well enough what time it was down there.
They knew that they had plenty of time before the grates to the lift closed again and, instead of venturing out, they took a few moments to adjust to the light and the cold air outside. Soon, the brightness eased and the fresh wind caressing their battered bodies started to feel good.
Aeyrin kept thinking about the time they had spent down below. At first, it was all filled with giddy memories of those platforms above the Silent City, then a feeling of accomplishment. But after a while, it got replaced by unpleasant nagging in her head.
"So, I'm thinking Nightgate?" Bishop mused as he reclined on the ground, trying haphazardly to take his armor off. He was eager to feel the cold on those fucking burns on his back, even if just for a while until they set off again. "It's pretty close, we should be there soon enough and we can recuperate and plan where to go next." And where to get some priest's attention. Windhelm was close. But nothing about their injuries was urgent anymore. There was probably no getting out of this without some scars and, with soothing salves, the pain wasn't even that bad. They could go anywhere else. It might be a good idea to catch a carriage to Markarth straight away. They needed to get their armors fixed, sell their loot to Calcelmo and tell him all about Blackreach. They also needed to get to Sky Haven and give Esbern the Scroll. Carrying it around wasn't very smart. He could cover it with his cloak so that people wouldn't see it, but it was still a dangerous thing to carry – a veritable bandit bait. He didn't really want to dawdle in Markarth – the Silver-Bloods were an ever-present danger. But hopefully a brief visit would be fine.
"I… don't think we can," Aeyrin let out a mournful sigh, interrupting his silent planning. "I think it's the thirteenth. If I counted it right." They entered Alftand on the fifth. It was likely that she was right.
Bishop looked at her in confusion for a bit, but then it clicked.
"Oh," he scowled a little. "Full Secunda."
Aeyrin let out a groan and she moved to cuddle herself against him with a palpably morose face. As much as she loved seeing the sun again, she now always dreaded the moons.
Bishop gripped her around her shoulder and pressed her closer to himself. He hadn't expected this. He didn't even think about what day it was. It was slightly annoying. He was looking forward to the inn – to a nice proper bath, a comfortable bed and a place away from dangers. Most of them at least.
But once the reality settled in his head, he couldn't deny the tinge of excitement that coursed through him at the prospect. Sure, it was three more nights spent here with lack of sleep and lack of proper care for their wounds. But he was still a little thrilled about seeing Aeyrin in her werewolf form again. He couldn't explain it. It was like a whole new challenge – a thrill of a chase he had long forgotten. His stays in the wilderness were hardly as they used to be when he was barely able to defend himself against the wildlife. He loved the danger, the trepidation about approaching and placating something that had an upper hand on him in its natural environment.
He was excited about the chance to talk to her again, to try and placate her in her feral state. The chance to see how much of her he would glimpse beneath the fur and fangs again. The chance to see if she could see him in turn, recognize him better, become calm and relaxed in his presence like she did right now.
He wasn't going to admit that to her though. He still worried that she would be too uncomfortable with his attempts at getting closer and 'taming' the werewolf. He didn't want to make things worse for her, to get her even more worried about the nights she didn't remember. He still hoped that she would begin to remember soon. He could help her with that. He was sure that he was helping her with that by trying to get her more calm and in control during the transformations. It would be easier to show her than that he was careful and that there was nothing to be worried about.
"Three more days," she sighed somberly. "I just want a bed. And a bath." Truth be told though, as excited as she was for those, the reality of having to turn into that monster again was what unsettled her the most. She didn't mind camping with Bishop's delicious food, if he hunted something down, and snuggling against the cold in his embrace. She didn't even mind bathing in the nearby river, freezing as it would be. She was used to that. At least she would get properly clean, instead of quickly washing up with the use of that black water from her waterskin and her washcloth.
She would just give anything to not be that… thing anymore.
No matter how much Bishop tried to reassure her, she still couldn't help but loathe that monster.
"Where do we go?" Bishop broke the silence after a while, still stroking her shoulder gently.
"I don't know. Here?" She looked around the bars around them with only one wall retracted. They could fasten the chains on the bars – those were sure to be sturdy enough. Dwemer construction was unparalleled.
"The lift will close eventually," Bishop scowled. Sure, there was that lever on the side of the bars that would open them, but that was only possible from the inside. And he had a bad feeling that Aeyrin had a different plan for them.
"No, I'll close it," she shook her head. "You'll stay outside the lift and I'll lock myself here. At least it will be a little safer. I can unlock it in the morning."
Yeah, that was what he was worried about. He wanted to be able to get close to her. He had a whole tactic going now. But he couldn't tell her about that. Fuck. Well, he might not be able to make any progress this time. And what bothered him even more was that he wouldn't be able to unchain her and take her into the bedroll once she turned back – not until she awoke on her own and opened the bars.
But at least he knew now that the lift wouldn't go down on its own, leaving her suspended and hanging by the chains.
Although…
"You can't do that," he scowled. It was a valid concern. His ulterior motives were unimportant just then.
"What? Why not?" Aeyrin frowned in response. She clearly disliked her security measures being disparaged.
"I realize that the lift was stuck here for a year or so, but Falmer can operate levers. Anyone can." It was possible that they were too wary of operating Dwemer mechanisms. It would explain a lot – why the automatons never attacked them, why the lift never came down. It was very possible that the Falmer had learnt through all the years just how to avoid any Dwemer dangers in their habitats. But it would be stupid to count on that, right? "So imagine, being chained up to the bars out here and then, one of them summons the lift down."
"And what would you do about it, unchain me?!" Aeyrin scoffed. "That's not an option, Bishop. I don't care if that monster has to hang there in the air all night. You're not going anywhere near that thing."
"You would choke!" Bishop sputtered. Did she not seriously see that happening? She would have a fucking collar around her neck and she would end up hanging by it. "Or have your fucking spine snapped."
"I would kill you first before you even got near the chains," she retorted instantly. "Just… calm down, alright? We'll circle the arm chains more around the bars so that those are the ones to hold me if it comes to that. The neck chain will be longer and it won't choke me. And it's still a conscious thing, monster or not. It will not just stay on the platform when it's chained to the bars. It will get on the ledge for sure." There was plenty of room outside the lift platform and still inside the bars.
Bishop let out a defeated sigh. It was true. As much as he hoped that it would be a good way of convincing her, it was not.
"'It'?" he looked at her with a bit of disappointment on his face. He knew this was hard for her, but he still hoped it would get better over time, that she would accept it more over time, before they could get the cure. He really hated her getting this upset over what she was now.
"Yeah. It," she growled, reaffirming her stance.
The day when the brothers would write about some news regarding the cure couldn't come fast enough for her.
Especially now when they had the Scroll.
What use would that Shout be for that monster?
…
Aeyrin yanked on the chains on her hands once more for good measure.
It was almost time. When the full Secunda peeked up from below the horizon, they knew that they had their calculations right. The rest of their afternoon was spent around the lift – they checked the peak of the nearby mountain, making sure that no more dragons or dragon priests re-inhabited it, washing all the grime and blood in the freezing river nearby, and getting some proper food after Bishop shot a slaughterfish there through the water. They redressed their burns – Aeyrin only had one small one on the back of her hip, but Bishop had plenty more all over his back and one on his thigh. The scars would remain, even after healing, most likely. But they had made their peace with it. The rest of their bodies had only bruises and strain after the ordeal down below.
As the moon climbed up along the sky, Aeyrin was getting increasingly nervous again. She opted to start the chaining all too soon, but at least Bishop had convinced her to let him stay with her in the lift until it was really inevitable that he left.
When she nudged him meaningfully, he got off the ground with a sigh, wrapping the usual blanket around her shoulders. Before he left though, he outstretched his hand to her expectantly.
What?
Aeyrin gave him a confused look. What did he want from her? She was already completely naked, only wrapped in the blanket, and she had taken her necklaces off too.
Oh.
With a morose sigh, she slid her engagement ring off her finger and pressed it into Bishop's palm. She never hated that monster more than she did now. She never wanted to take it off. But there was no way that it wouldn't either break itself or break her finger in the transformation.
Bishop clutched the ring securely in his hand before he turned on his heel. She missed it already.
But there was nothing she could do about it now. At least she only had to endure this on the nights of the full Secunda. She was really worried that this thing might be running on instinct, much like her Shouts did. But not even when things got precarious in Blackreach did anything happen. She was really worried about that. This way at least she was secure and prevented from harming anyone.
And on that matter, she stood up again, shivering a bit, and stepped towards the lever by the bars.
"You really don't have to close it," Bishop sighed while he settled himself on the bedroll outside the lift. He still hoped she would change her mind.
"I really do," she scowled. Any extra security was a good thing.
The bars shot up from the ground right after that lever was pulled and she promptly returned back to her blanket. She huddled under it, trying to squeeze as much warmth from the fabric as possible. It was not much use. The spring may have been starting, but the cold had hardly eased. Though she wouldn't have to suffer it for much longer. It was almost time.
It only took half an hour before it happened. Once more she felt the strange pressure pushing her consciousness away before it all dissolved.
Bishop stood up from the bedroll and approached the makeshift 'cage'. Aeyrin in her werewolf form instantly started to thrash and growl in her binds, trying to get away from them. It was… interesting. He kept wondering how it was possible that the werewolf was aware so little. She didn't seem to understand that there was no getting out of it. Maybe it was an initial bout of panic though. It had been getting better. Last time he could have sworn that she understood the situation she was in. She was understanding more and more of it, he was sure. Perhaps she still couldn't remember, but that didn't mean that she wasn't there, that she wasn't herself at times.
Bishop was more than ready for her panic though. It was a tried and true routine. Before anything else, he took the necklace with the wolf's head ring out of his pocket and dangled it in front of her, in between the bars.
Aeyrin let out a few more angry growls, but she did stop thrashing in the chains. She stepped closer to the bars, staring at the gleaming necklace kind of menacingly.
"You want it? I'm not gonna toss it," he smirked, eliciting another angry growl from her. "No, the lift isn't air-tight. It's gonna fall into the gap and then what we're gonna do? I'm not tossing it."
Aeyrin only huffed at him in return, still staring intently on that dangling ring.
Alright. Here goes nothing.
She did calm down a bit. And she wasn't too close to the bars yet. He was confident that he could pull back if it came to it.
He took a steadying breath, ready to react quickly if needed be, but a second later, he pushed his hand through the bars, still clutching the necklace.
Don't bite, don't bite, don't bite.
She looked kind of caught off guard by that. She didn't move an inch for a while, only watching him through the bars with a very wary look on her face. At least it looked like it. Bishop was kind of used to reading a wolf's expressions. He was pretty sure that she expected this to be some elaborate ploy to get her.
'Get her' what?
"You really think I'm gonna hurt you? Or do anything to you? The worst thing that can happen is that I pull back and it pisses you off," he chuckled at her. That was the expected result in any case.
Was it his imagination or was she actually contemplating his words. He kept doing this, wondering endlessly. He wasn't sure if he kept interpreting some consciousness that really wasn't there or if he could actually tell.
But a few seconds later, she actually stepped a little closer, rattling with the chains a bit in the movement.
Just don't flinch.
Bishop kept reminding himself. He really had the urge to flinch, but that might startle her and ruin this whole attempt.
He held fast, even though his hand was starting to shake a bit from having it outstretched so long, but a moment later, she made another step and another. Then she was already close enough.
He really hoped she wouldn't just try to bite his hand off.
But she didn't. She snatched the necklace from his hand and quickly scurried back, making the chains ring through the area wildly.
She didn't try to snap at him. She actually avoided hurting him, even though she had every opportunity to. This was getting interesting.
"Hey, why are you running off again?" Bishop grabbed the bars with an exaggerated pout. "I just gave it to you. Again. I thought that would garner some trust."
When her only reaction was another growl, he outstretched his arm once more through the bars, this time motioning with his finger for her to come closer again.
There was that look of wariness again, but this time it didn't last too long. She still clutched the necklace in her claw, but she quickly rushed back towards the bars. Really quickly. That made him kinda nervous…
Just as she reached him and snapped her jaw, he withdrew his hand and stumbled back. He almost lost balance in the snow, but he managed to steady himself by flailing his arms a bit.
"Whew. Alright," a bit of a disturbed chuckle left his lips. "We're not there yet. Understood."
Maybe some food would make her more malleable.
…
The days have turned into a comfortable routine by now.
Comfortable for Bishop, that is. Aeyrin was still frustrated about having to do this at all. But he was always excited about trying her limits in her werewolf form.
She still didn't remember a thing, but he wouldn't let it deter him. She now took the necklace from his hand regularly without hurting him. She did the same with the meat he prepared for her, and last night, it even looked a little like she was going to let him pet her. She approached when he beckoned, but she didn't snap at him this time. She did when he neared her skin with his hand though. Still, he had a feeling that if she actually wanted to bite him, he would have been bitten already. Maybe she was really just snapping – like a warning.
That was fine. He would try again tonight – the last night of the full Secunda. She knew by now he meant her no harm. He was determined to make some progress.
He did the same routine again – the necklace, the food. It was working wonders. She barely growled at him by now.
She was still munching on some of the venison he had gotten during the day as he sat down into the snow, right in front of the bars.
"You know, I still don't get what you're so wary for," he mused. "You realize you could maul me on the spot, right? And I wouldn't do anything to you. Why do you keep snapping like you're scared?"
Aeyrin only growled a bit, but she was more absorbed in tearing off a piece of the meat again. He just watched her for a while longer silently. He understood when she was trying to attack him all night. He understood when she kept trying to get out of her chains. But she seemed to be more and more withdrawn about all that. From a feral animal to a cornered one. It wasn't supposed to go like that. She was supposed to start letting him near, not trying to run from him herself.
Maybe she needed something more than a necklace and meat to see that he didn't want to hurt her. Maybe it was hard to get when he was the only one around while she was chained like that – he might have seemed like her captor.
Maybe he should show her that he wasn't there to keep her locked up.
He wasn't going to unchain her, of course. Not only would she jump him sooner, but that was just an awful thing to do to her regular self. Aeyrin would never forgive him for doing that.
But there was one thing he could do. This was a pointless measure anyway.
He walked a bit towards a nearby tree sapling and he snapped the thickest branch he could. That should do nicely.
He marched towards the lift again right after. Aeyrin was still crouched in the corner there. She wasn't eating anymore, but she didn't go anywhere near him either. But that was fine for now. He didn't need disturbing for this.
He pushed the branch in between the bars, along with his hand, and he started to maneuver it towards the lever controlling the entrance. He could see Aeyrin watch him with palpable nervousness from the corner of his eye, but he really hoped that this would reassure her.
It took a while. The branch wasn't easy to direct like that and the lever was a bit stiff to go down easily, but after several minutes of undisturbed struggling, he managed. The lever snapped down and the bars retracted instantly.
"There. Much better. It should have been like this the entire fucking time," he smirked. But much to his surprise, Aeyrin didn't spring up at the sight of a cleared path.
In fact, did she just… whimper?
What was happening with her? Why was she acting like this? Why wasn't she thrashing in her chains, eager to get out?
Maybe he should get away from the entrance. Maybe she was really scared of him. He couldn't fathom why, but she acted like it more and more. She just needed to feel like he wasn't interested in whether she tried to escape.
He walked back to the nearby campfire and sat down on the bedroll. He fiddled with the fabric of his shirt idly for a while, trying to look like he was interested in everything but her, looking everywhere but at her. But after several minutes of that, nothing changed. She didn't even move. She kept crouching in the corner of the lift.
This was fucking ridiculous.
"Alright. What the fuck are you doing?" he sighed as he got up again and this time, he entered the lift area altogether. He was inside her range – she could attack him. But she did nothing. She only whimpered again, but she seemed to relax a little when he stopped in his tracks there, some distance away. "I wasn't even anywhere near you and you still act like this. I'm not gonna hurt you. You know that. What are you worried about? You know you have the upper hand. I'm not even armed. You could kill me right… wait…" his words trailed off as he was trying to gauge her reaction, watching her intently.
Maybe that was the problem. She wasn't scared of him doing anything to her. Just like when she was fully herself, she was scared of only one thing.
"You're worried you're gonna hurt me?" his eyes widened at the realization. Could that be actually true? Or was he seeing what he wanted to see again? Was it possible that, just like with that necklace, there was some connection to her elven self that filled her with this instinct. It would explain that behavior lately.
"You don't need to worry about me," he gave her a reassuring smile as he took a small step closer. It only made her whimper more, but he was undeterred. "We're taking precautions, remember? And it's not like you have to try and hurt me when I get close." He took one more step forward and this time she growled at him in warning. That wasn't nearly as menacing as it used to be. If she really wanted to, she would have lunged at him by now.
"See? You can control yourself," he smirked. One more step. He was standing right in front of her now and she just kept squirming, as if she still tried to create more distance between them. It was no use though. Now she really was cornered.
Bishop moved his hand towards her carefully. At first, she quickly snapped her head to the side, trying to evade him. But when he didn't get deterred again, she actually held still. He slowly stroked his fingers through her furry cheek, only barely, but enough to touch her. Heh, she really was fluffy.
It only took a second. She actually nuzzled into his touch, but only for a fraction of a moment. She started to growl in warning almost instantly after that and he got the message. He nodded in response and withdrew his hand from her, then he took a few steps back again.
"Alright. Good. Progress. We'll get the hang of it," he winked at her smugly. It definitely was progress. The first time she was practically tearing out of her chains to hurt him. There was more and more of her conscious self seeping through now. He just knew it. Soon, she was likely to start remembering things.
But until then, he didn't want to make her struggles worse.
"I think I've tortured you enough for tonight," he chuckled wryly. "And I need to lock you up again. You would kill me once you turn back otherwise." It was pissing him off that he had to do that. It had been every one of those mornings especially when she turned back. He tried to talk to her, to wake her, to get her to open the gate, but she passed out almost instantly. It really bugged him that he couldn't just wrap up her body in his embrace and rid her of those chains.
On the upside, since he couldn't warm her, she did wake up soon enough and pulled the lever herself. But it was still time wasted when she was there, snoozing on the cold ground, with the blanket usually nowhere near her. He liked it when she was cold, but not when he could do nothing about it.
But that was only one more morning now. Next time, he would make fucking sure there were no cages involved. This was not ideal.
Besides, the way things were going, he was sure that soon, she wasn't going to want to be away from him in this form. Aeyrin would be shocked if she knew just how much more in control she was getting around him.
But as much as he wanted to brag to her about it, he still thought it best to keep it a secret.
At least for now. At least while she still remembered nothing.
At least while she still called the werewolf a 'monster' with palpable fear and disdain in her eyes every time they spoke.
He knew that this was all only temporary, but that was only more reason for her to accept it, to adapt to the current situation as they always did. She would be rid of her uncertain future soon – no afterlife in Hircine's service. They would make sure of it.
But in the meantime, why was she so intent on torturing herself? He hated to see her get like that.
If only there was any convincing her.