The Suave and the Awkward

by Dream Trance

Danny splits himself to practice kissing, and while it is as awkward as you would expect kissing yourself to be, circumstances keep arising that are easier to deal with apart than as one. With so much time apart, the question sets in: who has more right to exist if Fenton and Phantom are no longer fragments of a whole? Character Study. Established Gray Ghost, slow burn Pitch Pearl

24. Rewriting the Past

I struggled a lot with this chapter, at one point even tossing 6k words into a scrap file so I could start over. Very painful ;-;

But necessary! This chapter is very important to the progression of Fenton and Phantom's relationship. So, I'll probably *sigh* be referring back to this chapter pretty often...trying to make sure everything fits together. Writing is hard...

I want to shout out to my friends Kris and Abby for helping me prepare this chapter! Abby did some wonderful beta work and Kris helped me through the loss of those first 6k words and encouraged me throughout. Thank you, guys!

Alright, onto the story!

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Chapter 24
Rewriting the Past

"What if we rewrite the stars?
Say you were made to be mine
Nothing could keep us apart.
You'd be the one
I was meant to find.
It's up to you, and it's up to me
No one can say what we get to be
So why don't we rewrite the stars?"
– Zac Effron & Zendaya, "Rewrite the Stars"

---

"Valerie…"

Phantom fell silent after sighing her name. Fenton understood the reluctance; he didn't want to talk about their girlfriend either. He was messing up. Valerie was suspicious, and Fenton wasn't doing anything to fix it. He didn't know how to fix it. He was disappointing everyone. Fenton stared ahead at the lake, watching the water shimmer between the trees along the lakeshore. He waited for Phantom to just spit it out, but Phantom seemed to be hesitating for some reason.

"What about her?" Fenton prompted in a low voice.

He kicked a stone and watched it roll several feet away, stirring up little puffs of dust along their dirt path. The trail would curve away from the lake soon, and then they would have to walk across the grass to reach the trees. That was where Fenton assumed Phantom intended to go, anyway. There were likely benches along the path somewhere if they kept going, but the trees along the lake would keep Phantom from being spotted by any wandering park goers.

"She wants to talk." Phantom blew out an unhappy sigh. "I don't know if it is about the rumors or about whatever drove her to search Vlad's mansion, but I doubt the conversation will be an easy one either way."

Fenton's head started to turn toward Phantom, but Fenton caught himself and forced his gaze downward. "Probably not…" He lifted his straw to his lips and sipped from his drink as he watched his sneakers and Phantom's white boots walk along the path.

Their legs were the same length but Phantom's stride seemed longer somehow…

Fenton's steps had begun to veer toward the right at some point. carrying him closer to Phantom. It wasn't the first time. By now there was a proximity alarm ready to blare in Fenton's mind every time he got too close, and it was going off now, sending a hyper aware tingle down his arm. Fenton warily fixed his trajectory.

"It is something of a dead-end for us," Phantom continued. "She is upset, and I think we need to consider a different tactic."

"Like what?" Fenton mumbled around his straw, but he thought he already knew. He would have to let himself be overshadowed. Phantom was the only one who could fix things now.

"You need to tell Valerie the truth," Phantom said.

Fenton nodded. He wasn't exactly happy about being overshadowed, but…

The words finally registered past Phantom's casual tone, and Fenton froze in place. The straw slipped from his lips and he gaped at his other half's back. He spluttered for several seconds before finally managing to blurt, "You want me to what?"

Phantom turned to face him from a few steps ahead, his expression wary. "Not about my feelings for you, just—"

"Just our biggest secret ever?" Fenton lowered his drink and started shaking his head before Phantom could explain further. "No. No, no, no! Not happening!"

"Fenton, it has to happen."

Fenton laughed. "The fuck it does! She'll kill me!"

"Don't be ridiculous, she—"

"She'll kill you!"

Phantom winced. His eyes drifted past Fenton, back along the path they had taken, and he inclined his head, his expression pained. "That…is a little more likely, granted."

"But don't you see?" Fenton pushed his free hand into his hair and pulled. "That's the problem! That's been the problem all along!"

Phantom raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Are you trying to protect me, Fenton?"

"From your own stupidity? Yes!"

"Fenton—"

"Why does she need to know anything about—"

"Because it has gone too far!" Phantom interrupted.

"What has?"

"Us! The rumors! Valerie…" Phantom closed his eyes and titled his head back, letting the soft breeze blow his hair off his forehead. "I think we are hurting her."

Fenton grimaced, pulling his lips back from his teeth. Of course. Phantom would do anything to keep Valerie from getting hurt. Even if that meant putting the two of them in danger. "So, you want to admit we've been lying to her instead? Why can't we just pretend everyone at school is right about us working together? Why can't we just say they got the wrong idea or—or that we're both straight?"

"Because you told everyone I kissed you and then you got into a fight over it."

Fenton flinched back a step on the path. "Sh-shit." He jerked his eyes away from Phantom's. "You—you said that was fine because everyone was just assuming a one-sided attraction on your part anyway."

"Valerie," Phantom said in a wary tone, opening his eyes, "isn't everyone. If she believes I am making unwanted advances toward you, she will come after me."

"And you think telling her the truth will make her less angry?" Fenton brushed his hand roughly through his hair. "Why did you even suggest I tell everyone you kissed me if this was just going to happen anyway?"

"The kiss by itself would not normally be a problem," Phantom explained, "since I was the one who kissed you and not the other way around. But everyone can see there is something you won't talk about. You were supposed to say the rumors are true, but instead you've been shying away talking about it, adding to the mystery and making it seem more real. The one time you admitted the truth, you were too convincing. Mentioning the kiss was supposed to be a boast, nothing more. The way this got out and the way the rumors are increasing…there is no way Valerie can ignore this."

Fenton winced. My fault, his thoughts whispered accusingly.

Phantom sighed. "Look, when Valerie asks about it, can you convince her it wasn't true? Can you assure her I never kissed you? Because if you can't...I can't see any other path forward except to tell her the truth about our past."

Fenton chewed on his lip to avoid answering. They both knew he couldn't. He wasn't good at lying. He clenched his fists and glared at the trees along the lakeshore.

Phantom's free hand moved toward Fenton, but Fenton rolled his shoulder aside before it could land. His mind hissed the familiar, Distance, but Fenton knew it was only partially because of their ban on touching. He pulled his lips back in another grimace and ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

Everything always came back to Valerie in the end.

"Fuck, you were just being nice," he said between his gritted teeth. "Why didn't you just say I ruined everything?"

"Because you didn't," Phantom replied. "What the others at school think about us doesn't matter. But between the kiss, the rumors, and Valerie's suspicions, circumstances have changed with Valerie, and we need to change with them. If she finds out the truth on her own, she is going to hate us. I…" Phantom closed his eyes a moment, seeming to brace himself. When his eyes opened again, they pleaded with Fenton to understand. "I don't want her to hate us."

Something hot snapped, and Fenton exploded in a torrent of heat, "She already fucking hates you!"

Phantom widened his eyes and drew in a sharp breath. The plea in Phantom's eyes vanished, replaced by a hurt that made the anger freeze in Fenton's chest. Phantom didn't say anything, he didn't argue the point, and his silence made Fenton's words hang in the air longer than they should have, echoing in the distance between them.

"Shit," Fenton swore, "fucking hell, Phantom, I'm—"

"Fenton, just." Phantom pinched his eyes shut and exhaled a breath. "Stop being a fighter for five minutes. Please. One person I care about attacking me is already too much. I feel like I've just been shot…."

Fenton flinched. He dropped his gaze and frowned down at the dirt path. He dragged his sneaker across the sand, across the little strands of grass fighting against the thousands of other footsteps that had trod over them.

"It's the truth, though," Fenton mumbled, defensive.

"So, you shove it in my face? Why are you so mad at me?"

"It's…" Fenton closed his eyes. He didn't know why the topic was making him so angry. Phantom talking about Valerie was just…upsetting. "Sorry. It. It wasn't fair. You said you didn't want her to hate us. You mean after we merge on Friday? Once everything goes back to normal?"

Phantom blew out a breath. "Normal is relative, but…yes. Sam and Tucker told you about Valerie's break-in last night, right?"

Fenton nodded, still looking down.

"I think the closer she gets to discovering our secret on her own, the more that distrust is moving toward you. You need to tell her the truth before all trust is lost or it will be over. She will never trust you, me, or both of us ever again."

"No offense, Phantom," Fenton said, keeping his voice level, "but I doubt she'll trust either of us for a long time after we tell her. She's not exactly a 'forgive and forget' kind of person. This isn't something the truth can just fix."

"No," Phantom agreed warily, "but trusting her with the truth will be a start. We should have told her a long time ago."

Fenton made a rude noise. "Yeah. Sure. Remind me again, when was the last time you were able to get close to her without Valerie pointing a gun at you? And don't say last night. If she went to Vlad's because she's onto us, she probably thinks you're me." Phantom's raised eyebrow prompted Fenton to play that sentence over in his mind. He rolled his eyes. "I mean, obviously you are me, but…she might have thought you were the whole Danny. You know, the one that's ghost and human?"

"I am familiar with him," Phantom said dryly. "And to answer your question, yesterday afternoon. After you and I collided in front of her."

"Okay, but what about when there wasn't also a dang ghost fight happening somewhere close by?"

Phantom sighed. "Monday, on our walk to Fenton Works. Valerie had opened up to us about her ghost hunting, it would have been the perfect time to share our own secret before things went any further."

"Oh, you mean the day we were falling apart?" Fenton countered. "Yeah, that would have gone over real well. Think about it, Phantom! She had just seen us together the day before! We barely had control over our powers, and we weren't exactly acting like one person all that well. She would have thought it was some sort of trick, that you were trying to overshadow me so you could fool her or something."

Phantom groaned. "Alright, fine. Before we split—before we started dating her, even! The secret just shouldn't have gone on for this long!"

Something cold wormed its way up Fenton's chest. He tried to breathe it out, but the cold pressure remained locked around his heart, in his lungs, tainting his words. "Yeah, we should have told her because you know what? If we had just told her the truth, none of this would have happened! We never would have split, we never would have kissed, we never would have…done any of it! You and I wouldn't exist! But Valerie would know the truth, so who cares, right?"

Phantom flinched away from him. "No, that's not…" He flinched again. Dismay and confusion fought to be expressed on his face as his jaw worked around words he couldn't speak. Pain filled his eyes and then Phantom abruptly turned away and began marching toward the lake again, his head down.

Fenton chased after him. "Like, did you even think about that?" he demanded. "How everything we went through has been for her? To keep her in the dark about our secret or to strengthen our relationship with her? Like…the first time we ever split was just so we wouldn't embarrass ourselves in front of her again. Because—ha! Kiss each other so we can get comfortable at it? Sure! Why the fuck not? Nothing wrong with kissing yourself!"

Phantom pinched his eyes shut. "Fenton…"

Fenton stubbornly pushed on. "But no, no, kissing each other wasn't enough. In fact, why don't we do it a lot more so she'll really be impressed when she kisses us again? Awesome plan! Probably didn't need to spend all fucking day at it, but it's for Valerie, so who cares how uncomfortable it makes me, right? We're just going to merge afterward anyway."

Phantom opened his mouth, but he hesitated.

Fenton didn't. "Oh, fucking whoops!" Fenton gestured grandly with his free arm. "Spectra attacked right before our date, we better split again so we can still go on that date with Valerie! Maybe you'll try to overshadow me because you want to be the one on a date with her, but hey, what's a little possession between one person split in two if it means Valerie has a good date?"

Phantom shook his head. "Fenton, I—"

"And then the merge didn't even go right after that! So we split ourselves again so she won't find out our secret! What's one more split going to do? Make everyone at school think you're into me? Who cares about them! What will Valerie think?"

Phantom opened his eyes and simply stared at Fenton. A spark caught inside his soul, shining like a beacon in his eyes, but Fenton pushed on, lost to his own momentum.

"We better forget everything we did to keep it a secret! Let's tell her the truth after all!" Fenton threw both of his arms out, careful not to spill his drink. "What's the worst that can happen?" He pulled his arms back in and held up a finger as if to ward his silent observer from interrupting. "No, no, wait, let me guess: she'll break up with us. And everyone will think it was because of you! Because of fucking course they will! All that suspicion about us that's been building since we separated will come crashing down on me, and all because you care more about Valerie than—"

Phantom grabbed Fenton's wrist, and Fenton's mouth snapped shut, the rest of his rant retreating into the depths of his heart again. Phantom's touch was gentle, more a way for him to grab Fenton's attention than to restrain his movements. They stopped walking all the same. Phantom's palm and fingers rested around Fenton's wrist, his touch cool and solid through the spandex material of his gloves. Fenton glanced up and met Phantom's green eyes. His heart made a quick, frantic attempt to break free of his chest.

Fenton quickly pulled his arm free and looked away. "Everything was all for her, and now you're just—just throwing it all away. For her. Again." He propelled himself back into motion, feeling like he had to get away, to put distance between them. Phantom slowly followed, and Fenton swore he could feel the ghost's eyes on him. Studying him. Picking apart whatever hidden message had snuck through his words. "Fuck," he hissed under his breath.

"Fenton," Phantom said slowly, "are you…jealous?"

Fenton's next step came down extra hard. "No."

"No," Phantom agreed, his tone soft, "it's more complicated than that, isn't it? Jealousy isn't quite right, but there is something…"

"Hey!" Fenton called sarcastically over his shoulder. "Fun idea! How 'bout you just fucking drop it?"

"Afraid I will notice you have feelings for me, Fenton?"

Heat rushed to Fenton's head. He spun around, glaring. He opened his mouth to spit a retort, but he hadn't realized how close they were. Phantom's next step brought them within inches of each other, their chests nearly touching. Phantom's face filled Fenton's vision. Fenton threw himself backward. Phantom followed, and Fenton scuttled back, but Phantom kept coming closer.

"I—fuck—I don't have feelings for you," Fenton forced out, his heart pounding as he walked backwards, toward the lake.

"No?" Phantom kept pace with him, thwarting Fenton's efforts to put distance between them. Phantom's little smile as he watched him made Fenton's blush burn hotter, his steps a little difficult to keep track of.

"No! We're the same person!"

"That has yet to stop me from developing feelings for you," Phantom pointed out, his smile growing. Fenton tried to walk faster, stepping blindly, but Phantom stayed within arm's reach no matter how quickly Fenton stepped. His green eyes held Fenton's, keeping him from looking away. "Why should it stop you and not me?"

Fenton scoffed. "Because you're deluding yourself." Fenton's foot slipped on some grass. He stumbled but managed to find his footing again before Phantom got too close.

"Am I the one deluding myself?"

"Obviously!"

"Funny, I could have sworn I knew another Danny who was more prone to running away from his feelings than I am…"

"I'm not running!"

"No, you're just walking backward very fast, so focused on me you have yet to realize you stepped off the path and you're heading for a tree."

"I'm—what?"

Fenton's heel came down on a…root? A rock? He staggered. Before he could steady himself, Phantom caught his forearm across Fenton's chest and propelled him backward. Fenton stumbled over each step, too off-balance to resist. His back crashed against the tree Phantom had mentioned, and that finally stabilized him. He grabbed Phantom's elbow and tried to push his arm away, but ghost powers were, as ever, the ultimate cheat code.

Maddie had shown Fenton a few tricks last night; he could probably get loose if he kicked Phantom, kneed his groin, or if he managed to slide beneath his arm, maybe wrench Phantom's hand back, but…

The idea made him a little nauseous. He didn't want to hurt Phantom.

"It seems you can't run any longer," Phantom said, his eyes and grin bright and bewitching.

Fenton bit down on his lip. Behind him, he heard the lake water lapping at the bank. Wind rustled the leaves overhead and a few ducks communicated little quacks to each other. Phantom hadn't shoved Fenton against a random tree; they had reached the lake. Fenton directed his gaze over Phantom's shoulder, searching for the path he had abandoned. He had seen it was going to curve away from the lake, but how far had he strayed without even realizing it? Several yards, maybe? He hadn't been paying attention…

Three guesses as to why.

The uneven bark dug into his back as Fenton squirmed against the tree, his cheeks hot. "Phantom…"

"Relax, I just want to set one thing straight before you start running again."

Fenton closed his eyes. "Alright, fine. What? What is so important?"

"This—us splitting apart—you believe this has all been about Valerie?"

Warily, Fenton forced his eyes open and met Phantom's gaze. The green depths of his eyes were too close. Fenton's and Phantom's chests were still a foot or two apart, separated by Phantom's forearm, but his eyes were still too close. The wind from the lake was tugging at Fenton's shirt, blowing wisps of white hair across Phantom's brow, just above those green eyes.

Fenton's hand tightened around his drink. "Hasn't it? You made us kiss for her, you tried to overshadow me during the date for her, you blew me off on Sunday for her, you agreed to merge for her, you made us split again for her, and…and…now you want to tell her everything. I'm sorry, but I don't see how it's not about Valerie."

Phantom lifted an eyebrow. "And the first time we kissed? I suppose I gave you a hickey for her sake as well?"

Fenton scowled and dropped his gaze. "That was an accident, it doesn't count."

"What about the meteor shower?"

Fenton inhaled a low, shaky breath and opened his mouth, but he couldn't think of a counter. Witnessing the meteor shower together had only been about them, not about Valerie.

Fenton's heart skittered and hopped like an excited child, but Fenton shook his head. "Fine, that's—that wasn't about Valerie, but what does it matter? You still left me all alone the next day with nothing to do except wait for you to show up, and when you did, boom! Valerie was on your heels, and you were suddenly willing to merge after hours of putting it off."

"Granted," Phantom said, "but you are forgetting something in between."

"You…" Fenton licked his dry lips. "That…" Phantom had kissed him. Fenton had seen it through Phantom's memories, he had even felt Phantom's emotions while they were one. "You—you still ran away."

"Because I had kissed you. The reason I avoided you all day had nothing to do with Valerie and everything to do with that kiss." Phantom laughed then, a disbelieving, strained laugh. "I was so afraid of you and how you made me feel."

Fenton closed his eyes. His blush felt like it was burning his cheeks. Don't, he warned himself. I can't feel anything for him.

"For Valerie's sake I merged with you despite my feelings," Phantom continued, "but the feelings didn't go away. They were at least partially responsible for us splitting again, remember? And once we were apart, I healed your knees, I exposed my feelings to witnesses, I kept my distance from you only because you asked for it—I would have spent all of yesterday by your side if you had only allowed me, and now that I'm alone with you, I keep—" Phantom cut himself off, but he had said enough to make Fenton feel lightheaded.

Phantom stepped closer. His hair touched Fenton's forehead, and Fenton's eyes flew open, his gaze leaping to Phantom's. "Fenton, this started because of Valerie, but I can't get you out of my head. My thoughts somehow always come back to you. Perhaps you're right, but the longer we are apart, the harder it is for me to remember this was supposed to be for Valerie because I can't stop thinking about you. Somehow, it always comes back to you, not Valerie."

Fenton swallowed hard. His whole face felt like it was on fire. His head felt light and dizzy, he couldn't seem to think straight, and his heart was pounding like crazy. What was wrong with him? "I…"

Phantom's forearm slid away from Fenton's chest. Fenton should have moved out from under him then, but he remained against the tree. Phantom cupped Fenton's cheek. Cold fingers slid toward his ear as Phantom's thumb brushed the skin below Fenton's eye. Fenton held his breath. His chest shook as his heart pounded even faster, the only part of him able to move since the rest of him seemed immobilized.

Phantom's eyebrows knit together as he stared into Fenton's eyes; his own green eyes were close enough to tint Fenton's vision green. "Fenton…why are you the one I'm falling for if this has all been for her?"

The words further proved his point, but Phantom's tone was puzzled, as if he were seeking an answer himself. As if he didn't understand any better than Fenton why this was happening to them.

Fenton opened his mouth, but he couldn't speak.

Phantom waited. They remained locked in a moment where they stared at each other, the enormity of Phantom's question silencing Fenton's thoughts. He sucked in a breath.

The moment ended as Phantom exhaled his. Instead of backing away, however, he leaned forward. Fenton pinched his eyes shut. Cold energy washed over Fenton as Phantom stepped through him and the tree, causing Fenton to shiver and gasp. The to-go bag caught against his chest instead of following Phantom, and Fenton fumbled to catch it without letting go of his drink. The paper bag crinkled in his arms.

Then he was alone. Sort of.

Phantom was on the other side of the tree, out of sight. The park and the path they had taken stretched out before him. Ducks quacked and leaves rustled in the wind as if nothing significant had taken place. Fenton's heart continued pounding in his chest. He finally remembered to start—and keep—breathing again, letting go of the breath he had taken and breathing in his next a little shakily.

"Damn it," Fenton whispered, the words wobbling across his tongue.

How was Phantom able to just do that? Grind the whole world to a standstill and make Fenton feel like he couldn't breathe? How could he trick Fenton into believing—even just for a moment—that Phantom was someone other than his off-limits other half?

"Damn it," he hissed again, the words more stable that time. He closed his eyes, tucked his lunch against his chest, and used his freed hand to brush his hair off his forehead. "Damn confusing, out-of-his-mind, too-fucking romantic for his own good ghost…"

Behind the tree, Phantom laughed.

"I'm eating my lunch on this side of the tree!" Fenton called to him. To prove his point, Fenton slid down the tree and sat among the roots. "You stay on that side."

"Reinforcing your distance rule, Fenton?"

"Yes!"

"Because I crossed a line, or because you need time to recover?"

"I—both? Neither! Er, that first one? Fuck, shut up, I'm eating." Fenton set his drink on the ground beside his hip and began to loudly unroll the to-go bag. "That's what we came out here for, right? So. I'm eating."

"We came out here to talk while you ate," Phantom corrected. "But I'll sit on this side if that will make talking easier for you."

Fenton closed his eyes and concentrated on trying to calm his heart. It kept fluttering against his chest. That was just from hearing Phantom's voice. Fenton didn't think he could handle seeing him too, not for a while. He couldn't admit that out loud, though. Phantom might realize how deeply he had affected Fenton with that whole speech. The touching. The prolonged eye-contact…it was too much.

Fenton groaned. "Just. Stop talking for a minute. I—I need to think."

Phantom's voice lost its teasing edge. "Did I upset you?"

Fenton didn't know what Phantom had done to him, but he wasn't upset. Even the cold feeling in his chest felt less suffocating, as if Phantom's words had somehow untangled the cords that had been cutting into his heart. Whatever Phantom's intention, Fenton no longer felt like he needed to defend himself. What he had been protecting himself against, he wasn't sure, but talking about Valerie with Phantom no longer seemed so…painful.

"The opposite," he mumbled.

Phantom made an enlightened "ah" sound and let silence fall between them.

Fenton dug his hand into the to-go bag and pulled out his fries, relieved to feel their warmth through the paper. He bent his knees and pulled them toward his chest, pinching the to-go bag and his burger to his stomach. He ate one of the fries and looked around the park for anyone who might have seen Phantom's trick, but aside from an old woman walking her dog far away, they had the park to themselves. The paths were empty, and only the ducks quacking on the lake behind him offered any sign they weren't alone.

Fenton couldn't see the ducks, though. They were on the other side of the tree, along with the sunlight shimmering on the water and the wide expanse of the lake stretching out toward the far end of town. Phantom was apparently content to remain quiet, as per Fenton's request, but the silence somehow felt oppressive. The leaves were still rustling overhead, Fenton could still hear the water lapping at the shore, the ducks quacking and the far distant sounds of traffic, but they weren't loud enough.

Phantom's words kept echoing in his mind, emphasized by Fenton's rapidly beating heart and the chill his touch and aura had left behind.

"Why are you the one I'm falling for if this has all been for her?"

Fenton pinched his eyes shut, his cheeks beginning to warm again. He leaned the back of his head against the tree trunk. "When will you tell her?"

Phantom didn't answer immediately. Fenton hoped Phantom caught his acceptance of the plan without Fenton having to spell it out for him because Fenton really needed the conversation to start moving forward or he was going to…do something crazy, probably.

"Fenton…" Phantom's voice was directly behind Fenton. He must have sat down too. "You have to tell her."

Fenton jerked his head off the tree. "Me?"

"I can't tell her," Phantom insisted. "After everything that has happened? After she has seen us side-by-side? After you told everyone I kissed you? Why would she believe me?"

"But…I…" Fenton stared wide-eyed across the park, his jaw opening and closing around an objection he couldn't express. Phantom had been saying that, hadn't he? 'You have to tell Valerie our secret' not 'we have to tell Valerie our secret.' Fenton hadn't thought he was serious, but no, all along, Phantom had meant for Fenton to be the one to break their secret. By himself.

Fuck.

"I doubt I could even approach her right now," Phantom continued. "She probably wants to shoot me more than ever. You know? Because I'm trying to 'steal' her boyfriend?"

"But—but—" Fenton started shaking his head. "No, no, no…" Fenton clamped his hands over his eyes and pulled his knees to his chest, his burger and the to-go bag squished against his stomach. "Oh fuck…"

"It may not be that bad," Phantom said soothingly. "Given her behavior, she might already suspect something. All you need do is confirm it."

"That just means she's already angry!"

"She won't hurt you, Fenton." A little dryly, Phantom added, "Her guns can only harm ghosts."

"I'm not worried about that! If she wants a fight, I'll give her one! But–Phantom! If she already knows, then—then what happens when she asks why we've been running around as two people? What do I say then? Fuck, what do I say when she asks about the fucking kiss?"

"Perhaps the truth about how this started?" Phantom suggested.

Startled, incredulous, Fenton squeaked air in past his throat. "What?" Before Phantom could explain, Fenton coughed his throat clear. "Oh! Right! That will go over so fucking well! Which part should I start with? That we practiced kissing on each other all day Saturday? Or that you started crushing on me afterward?"

The quacking ducks were the only ones to answer Fenton. Something about his words must have shaken Phantom. "Both of those sound damning when put together, don't they?" Phantom said, his voice pitched a little higher than normal.

"No, you think?" Fenton forced a bark of laughter. "It's bad enough we're half-ghost, half-human, all freak, but this is taking things to a whole new level of freakdom."

"No, it's…" Phantom paused a moment, as if thinking over his words. "Our original reason for using each other as practice falls apart if I am able to fall in love with you. Kissing myself wouldn't be considered cheating on her because we would be the same person, but the fact that I am falling for you…that…puts the practice in a different light. It's no longer practicing on myself. It's…practicing on someone else. No better than if we had practiced with Sam."

Fenton groaned. "Great, that's just fucking great. Add cheating to the list."

"I only saw you as my human self during our practice," Phantom said hesitantly. "I know differently now, but back then I didn't see you as a person."

"And now that you do, what are we doing?" Fenton shot back. "You just said you're falling for me! We're hanging out together instead of putting distance between us. And—and what about when you kissed me outside of practice? How is all that not cheating?"

"It's…it's…complicated," Phantom insisted. "We are apart, but we are still…not…"

Fenton waited, but Phantom seemed unable to say it. "You can't have it both ways, you know. Either we're the same person, or you've been cheating on her."

Frustrated, Phantom blew out a breath that was loud enough for Fenton to hear. "I may have feelings for you, but I have been trying to keep them under control. I haven't been acting on them—"

"You pinned me to a tree and said you couldn't get me out of your head about five minutes ago!" Fenton objected.

"Because you were upset! I couldn't—that wasn't…"

"And what about the kiss Sunday morning?"

"The kiss—yes, okay, that was…I went too far, but the circumstances—"

"Probably the meteor shower too."

"I didn't intend for that to be romantic!" Phantom protested. "It just. Happened."

Fenton nodded in mock sympathy. "I'll be sure to tell Valerie it all just…happened."

Phantom groaned. "Fenton, please…it's complicated."

"Do you think Valerie will see it as complicated too?"

Something fragile entered Phantom's tone. "Please…"

Fenton drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Alright, fine. Forgetting all that for now, do you realize what you're asking me to do? This is our most important secret ever, this is something that could change everything, and you want me to handle it? Me? The guy who blurted out one of our secrets in front of the whole class just to make Dash back off? The one who is always itching for a fight? The one who almost messed up the date? Me? You want me to tell Valerie that Danny Fenton was secretly Danny Phantom all along?"

"…Yes. I think it has to be you. It should be you."

"…Right." Fenton closed his eyes and allowed his head to fall back against the tree. "Uh, hey, Phantom? Quick favor. Could you maybe fly me up to the moon and, like, leave me there? Death by vacuum and solar radiation sounds less painful, so if you're going to get me killed, I would rather my sentence be committed out in space."

Phantom laughed.

Warmth bloomed inside Fenton's chest. He bit his lip to keep from smiling. What was Phantom doing to him? It wasn't just that he had laughed at his joke, although that did feel good, it was… "You really trust me to do this?"

"Yes." Phantom's laughter still danced in his voice, and Fenton imagined him smiling on the other side of the tree. "Is that really so shocking?"

"Uh, yeah?" Fenton opened his eyes and stared up at the branches above him, watching sunlight flicker between the leaves. "I mean, I don't even trust myself with this. I've already messed up with her once before on our date. You even tried to overshadow me because of it, but now you…"

What changed? Was it just because Phantom had feelings for him, or had Fenton actually done something to earn Phantom's respect?

"I have been trusting you for a while now, Fenton, just as you have been trusting me to handle protecting the city."

"Yeah, but this is…this is huge." Fenton closed his eyes again. For a moment, it felt like a laugh of his own was going to bubble out of his chest, but he fought it back, afraid of what it meant, what Phantom might read into it. "I can't believe you're trusting me with this…"

"Do you think you can do it?"

"I…" Fenton ran a hand through his hair and thought about it. Really thought about telling her who they were. "I don't know…she…" Fenton grimaced. "I can't see her just accepting that we've been lying all this time. She's going to get angry, and—and, I know I should let that go, but it isn't fair! She's the one who should apologize! I—we were just protecting ourselves."

Phantom sighed. "That's why you need to be the one to tell her."

"Uh…" Fenton pried his eyes open. "What?"

"I don't have that conviction." Something changed in Phantom's tone, hardening it with regret and sadness. "To my mind, I already forgave her for what she's done. She earned it when she helped us free Danielle, another half-ghost just like us. I trust her with this. But you…"

Phantom paused, and Fenton held his breath, staring up at the leaves.

"You have been hurt too." The bitterness had softened in Phantom's voice, gentling it. "You were there in every fight. You held us back, you kept us safe. When she demands to know why we kept it a secret, you are the one who can answer her. Maybe then she'll understand…I have tried apologizing and befriending her in the past; it never works. She doesn't need apologies; she needs to understand. She needs you. As you are. That is why I think you should be the one who tells her about us."

"I…" Fenton fumbled to find words, but his thoughts were racing, his heart stuttering. How could Phantom have so much confidence in him? How could he see Fenton's fighter personality as a good thing when it had only ever caused him trouble? "I…that's…it might lead to a fight, and that won't help our relationship with her. She might. Uh. She might break up with us. You realize that, right?"

"Yes," Phantom sighed. "I know…"

"And you're okay with that?"

"It is her choice. We're not exactly in a position to ask her to stay. As you said, we have been cheating on her, and I'm…I'm…confused about…" Phantom breathed out a harsh sigh. "Well. It doesn't matter, does it?"

Guiltily, Fenton bit his lip.

"Besides, she never agreed to date Danny Phantom, only Danny Fenton. This relationship has been unfair to her from the start."

"I get that," Fenton said hesitantly, "but will you be okay? Like. Emotionally?"

Phantom was quiet a moment, letting the slowly lapping water and the ducks fill his silence. When he spoke again, his voice was unsteady. "I'll have to be."

Fenton let out a soft breath. No, Phantom would be heartbroken. Fenton had seen that once before. He could still see Phantom's slumped shoulders in the predawn hours of the morning, hear the defeat in his voice. It was so unnatural in one who was always so confident. Fenton didn't ever want to see that again, which meant he had to keep Valerie from breaking up with them. He had to.

Maybe he could squeeze out an apology…just one…

"What about you?" Phantom asked.

Fenton started, lifting his head from the tree. "Me?"

"Will you be okay if she breaks up with us?"

Fenton shrugged and ate a few fries, trying to buy himself a little time. "It, uh…" He swallowed his mouthful and took a drink from his soda, setting it securely back down on the ground again once he was finished. "It probably won't help the rumors at school, but sure. I mean, I'm not any good at that romance crap, so it'll be nice to not have to pretend anymore."

The leaves rustled overhead as another gust of wind blew off the lake. "'Pretend'?" Phantom asked after it had passed. "Fenton…" Phantom's voice softened. "You have been pretending? Do you not want to date her?"

Fenton stiffened. Although there was no one to hide his face from, Fenton ducked his head. "I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to." Phantom sighed. "Fenton…tell me the truth. Do you feel anything for Valerie?"

"Of course I do," Fenton mumbled. "She's pretty. She's an awesome ghost fighter. She was our first girlfriend and our first real kiss. What's not to like?"

"I can think of a few reasons given our past," Phantom said, "but since you bring up our first kiss, the fact that she laughed at us afterward might have been enough. It only wounded my pride and made me want to do better, but you…you are always protecting yourself, refusing to let yourself be vulnerable."

Fenton sank lower against the tree.

"This is the time for honesty, Fenton. I would like to know how you feel about her."

"You would already know if we were merged…"

"Fenton—"

"No! Okay?" Fenton jerked his head around and glared at the tree separating him from Phantom. "She's beautiful, she makes me feel all…jittery when she looks at me, but I don't want to date her! I don't know why, okay? She's fucking amazing! What the fuck is wrong with me? She's—she's—" Fenton waved his hands, careful not to spill his fries. "—everything a guy could ask for! We went through so much to fucking save our relationship with her, but I only did any of it because of you! Now you're risking our relationship on the chance she won't hate us forever once she finds out the truth, and I don't even care what happens! But you care, and we cared when we were merged, so fuck it, no, I don't want her to break up with us. I don't want to be the one who ruins it for everyone. I just…" He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "I don't feel anything for her."

His outburst hung in the air, held aloft by Phantom's stunned silence. Fenton shoveled fries into his mouth to shut himself up. There was more he could say. There was more he wanted to say. Finally being able to shout he didn't care had felt so good.

But…

Phantom's silence dragged on, and the fries started sticking in Fenton's throat. He didn't want his lack of feelings to make Phantom start doubting him again. Fenton had only just gained his trust; he couldn't lose it all over again.

"I wonder if there is a reason for that," Phantom said slowly.

Fenton swallowed his latest mouthful. "For what?"

"For why you don't have feelings for her. I…have a theory. It is something I have been thinking about ever since Sam and Tucker questioned me last night about our feelings for Sam."

Fenton choked on his next fry and coughed. "Ex—Excuse—our what?"

"While I remember there was something there, I no longer feel anything romantic for Sam, so where did the feelings go? If I have all our feelings for Valerie, could you have all our feelings for Sam? And if that's true, then what else did you take when we were ripped apart? What did I take from you? Did the split just effect our surface personality? Or did it reach deeper, a hidden layer we never knew existed?"

Fenton coughed harder, trying to clear his throat. "Hold on, slow down—I—" He grabbed desperately for his drink and swallowed several quick mouthfuls.

"You have been saying 'we' when you refer to our past; are your memories as confusing as mine?"

"Forget my memories, I'm confused!" Fenton sucked in a few breaths, took another drink, and sighed. "You can't just start throwing these things at me as if I'm supposed to know what you're talking about. Start over—at the beginning. What do you mean we have feelings for Sam? Do you?"

"No, and that's why there must be something wrong, right? As the half more prone to romance, you would think all our romantic feelings would come to me when we split, you would think I'd be head over heels for both Valerie and Sam, but I'm not! Just as you're not just a fighter. The split must have done something more than just divide us into two extreme personalities because why else do I feel nothing for Sam just as you feel nothing for Valerie?"

Right. Phantom was just. Blazing right past having feelings for their best friend but also not having feelings for her. Fenton scrubbed an irritated hand through his hair. "No, no, no, wait, focus. Do you or do you not have a crush on Sam?"

"Do not."

"Then why did you say we have feelings for her?"

Phantom paused. When he finally spoke, he sounded confused. "Do you not have feelings for her?"

"I—" Fenton felt his face warming. Butterflies like what he sometimes felt around Phantom tried to take wing inside his stomach, but then he thought about it, really thought about Sam, about her smile, about holding her hand, and…the butterfly sensation didn't go away. "I don't know?"

"…How can you not know?"

"It's…"

Fenton slid his hand out of his hair and pressed it over his eyes. He thought about going on dates with Sam, kissing her, and the wings broke apart. The butterflies crashed to the bottom of his stomach and made it feel like a lead ball was sinking inside him. He tried to revive the butterflies by imagining them just hanging out again, but it was as if the idea of actually dating her had ruined something.

"I don't want to kiss her," he said. He was sure of that, at least.

"That may not mean anything," Phantom said slowly, almost reluctantly. "You can have feelings for someone and not want to kiss them."

"Yeah, I guess." Fenton exhaled a sigh. "I definitely feel something more for Sam than for Valerie, it's just…I…I don't think I have feelings for her? She makes me happy. I feel comfortable and excited around her, I trust her, I admire her, but…that doesn't mean anything, does it? Why can't we just be friends?"

"Do you want to hang out with her? Just the two of you?" In a slightly more subdued tone, Phantom added, "Like we are doing right now?"

Fenton frowned. "Yeah, but sometimes I just want to hang out with Tucker too."

"Yes, but in the context of having feelings for someone, it's…" Phantom hesitated as if trying to gather the words he would need. "It is as if you feel them when you are alone together. No matter how far apart you are physically, you are aware of exactly where they are. They move, and you feel that movement all around you. There is something special about being with them. It feels…different. And when they smile or laugh, you feel this rush. Their opinions, the way they see the world, effects how you see it too. What they think hovers always at the edge of your mind, especially when it concerns what they might think of you. You hope they are as captivated by you as you are by them."

Fenton dropped his hand to the ground and curled his fingers around a handful of grass. "I—" He cleared his throat. He shouldn't ask. He shouldn't, he shouldn't… "Is—is that what I do to you?"

"Yes."

So confident, so simply stated…

Like, oh, yeah, of course I think about you all the time Fenton. What did you think I meant when I said I couldn't get you out of my head? That it was just some sort of euphemism for our shared past?

Fenton's face burned. Phantom really paid that much attention to him?

"Oh I, uh," he said weakly, "I didn't know."

"It isn't constant," Phantom added. "Being alone with you makes it more…intense. So, right now it is…distracting. Holding your hand was almost more than I could handle, honestly. Normally I just catch myself thinking about you."

Fenton chewed on his lip and tugged on the grass, his heart fluttering.

"Do I make you feel that way?"

"No!" Fenton said quickly. Probably too quickly. His cheeks burned hotter.

"Ah…" Phantom said. He didn't sound amused or condescending, just…neutral. "What about Sam?"

Whatever Fenton felt for Sam wasn't the same as what Phantom described, but there were enough similarities to make him hesitate. "I think she's pretty and I want her to like me, but I, uh." He closed his eyes. "I don't know. I—I haven't thought about it."

Phantom sighed explosively, the exhale loud enough for Fenton to clearly hear on his half of the tree. "That is possibly the most frustrating answer you could give in this situation, Fenton. If you like Sam, then I'm jealous; if you don't like Sam, then my theory falls apart. But you don't know how you feel about her, so either loss is still possible."

Fenton stiffened. "Wait, jealous? Of me?"

"Of Sam, Fenton," Phantom sighed. "Because when I ask if you have feelings for her, you can say 'maybe' whereas I will always be a 'no' to you."

Fenton bit down hard on his lip and stared down at his fries.

"It's—I understand why it has to be that way," Phantom continued, his voice oddly tight as if he were forcing the words out. "You're…trying to do what's right. I should let it go too. This is only temporary. It will end on Friday, one way or another. And I knew you might have feelings for Sam when I began this topic. It doesn't stop it from hurting, though. However much I shouldn't feel like this, I can't just shut down how I feel about you."

Fenton pinched his eyes shut again. He wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere. His own heart began to ache, his stomach twisting painfully. He was hurting Phantom, but he couldn't take any of it back. He couldn't.

"I—I don't not like you," he said hesitantly, hoping that would be enough.

"I know," Phantom said. Then again, "I know, okay? I do. But you can't even say it. You will never say it. Because what happens when you do? What becomes of us once we speak it aloud? What happens if we say we feel the same?"

"I didn't say I feel the same," Fenton said quickly. "I said I don't not like you."

Phantom groaned. "Fenton…"

Fenton blew a puff of air through his lips. "Saying it wouldn't change anything, anyway."

"No," Phantom agreed. "It is a no-win situation. Even if you admit you feel the same—"

"Which I don't."

"—We would still have to merge on Friday. The difference is in whether or not I go through this alone. Could we not comfort each other about what must happen? Even if that comfort must be a silent one, wouldn't it be better to know you aren't alone either?" The wind gusted, rustling the leaves above them, adding a counterpoint to the sad note in Phantom's voice. "Would that be so bad, Fenton?"

"It's not that easy," Fenton said quietly.

"Why?"

Fenton chewed on his lip and sunk lower against the tree.

He could say they were the same person, so they weren't allowed to feel this way, but Phantom already knew that. He had suggested a silent comfort as a compromise, and Fenton could…almost…want that. A simple "yes" from him could unlock a smile from Phantom that said a thousand words. A "yes" now could unlock in Fenton his own power to heal and comfort with just a touch, without a single word spoken, but he couldn't. He couldn't.

Fenton ate his fries and tried to slow the racing of his heart.

Silence might hurt, but silence was safer. He needed that distance, or he would—it was—

"You said your theory falls apart if I don't have feelings for Sam," Fenton said abruptly, quickly. "What theory was that?"

Phantom sighed, his disappointment making Fenton cringe a little. He shoved the rest of his fries into his mouth and tried not to take it back. He couldn't. He wasn't ready.

"You said you don't know if you have feelings for Sam," Phantom began, apparently willing to let Fenton off the hook, "but do you remember having feelings for her prior to our separation?"

Fenton frowned as he placed the empty fry container into the to-go bag. He licked his fingers clean as he thought back. Far back. Perhaps…there had been a few times where his heart had raced, and smiling had felt so natural…

"I guess. Like, after Ember's spell let us go, and Sam hugged us a little longer than necessary?"

"I…" Phantom stopped, pausing a moment as if searching for that memory himself. "Was…was that a thing? I thought that was just the lingering effects of Ember's spell?"

"Uh…" Fenton winced. Was it? "I thought it meant something, but I'm not very good at, uh, feelings and whatever. I just remember thinking she was cute after we broke apart, and…and I don't know. The way she smiled at us…I thought—well, we thought there might actually be something there, remember?"

"No. I only remember feeling relieved that Ember's spell hadn't ruined our friendship."

"Uhh…" Fenton shook his head. "Wait, really? That's it? What about when we flew with her?"

"What about it?"

Fenton opened his mouth, but it took him several seconds to force out the words, "What do you mean what about it? We caught her staring at us, and it was…I don't know. Kind of like a wow moment, right?"

"Is that why we crashed into the billboard?"

"No! Well, yes, but…" Fenton groaned. "What the fuck? Okay, what about the fake-out-make-outs? And—and her holding our hands to warm them up? What about the dance?"

"You are going too fast, Fenton, I don't know which memories you're referring to."

"But—they're—" Fenton shook his head. Those memories were so strong, how could Phantom not know exactly which memories Fenton meant?

"I recall the fake-out-make-outs," Phantom offered. "They were technically our first kiss—both times since we didn't remember the first when the second happened—but they weren't real, and I don't remember feeling anything except startled that first time and weirded out by Sam's reaction the second time."

"The—" Fenton had to pause a moment to gather his thoughts. What the hell was happening? "Okay. First of all, the first fake-out-make-out was—that was a big deal, okay?"

Phantom hummed disagreement but didn't object aloud.

"We were just friends until then, and then suddenly it was like Sam was this…this…person. You know?"

"No," Phantom said shortly. "Obviously."

"Obviously…" Fenton repeated weakly. Had it all been in his head? "You really don't remember how we felt?"

"I know there was something there," Phantom said. "I just don't recall the feelings myself. All I remember from back then was wishing she and I could be friends without others trying to tell me how I should or shouldn't feel about her. Do you remember getting frustrated by all the lovebird accusations?"

"Uh…" Fenton blushed a little. "I…I thought that meant something. If everyone saw it, that must mean it was real, right?"

"Just as everyone saying I have a crush on you means this is real too?" Phantom asked archly. "If they start seeing feelings in you, will you believe them?"

Fenton's blush worsened. "That's different."

"Of course…"

"Is there a point to this?" Fenton demanded.

"Yes, but I'm confused. You seemed surprised when I suggested we had feelings for Sam, and yet you remember feeling all that?"

"Well," Fenton said uneasily, "yeah? That was, like, two years ago. It meant something when we were fourteen, but it didn't go anywhere."

"Didn't it? Do you remember our fight with Nocturn?"

Fenton cringed. The dreams… He licked his lips clean of salt and took a drink from his soda to wash his mouth clean. "If this is about those dreams, I don't think they count."

"No? You don't remember offering our hand to Sam so she could fight with us? Or blushing on the dock together? Those things only happened because we saw Sam's dream, because we found out Sam felt the same way about us. It gave us the confidence to start reaching out to her again."

"Uhh…" Fenton squirmed, uncomfortable with where this was going. He remembered the way the world seemed to slow down right before he and Sam entered Nocturn's dream together, and he remembered smiling as he met Sam's eyes on the docks, but…it wasn't…there was something off about it. "No? I mean, yeah, they happened, but…the fake-out-make-out thing was a much bigger deal if you ask me."

A beat passed. "I don't know if I should be pleased or confused…"

"Do you remember it differently?" Fenton asked.

"Yes and no. I remember us feeling excited and hopeful, but those feelings don't—they don't feel like mine. I have no connection to her that way. How we handled it doesn't feel like something I would do either. Why did we not simply talk to her about it? We went right back to staring at each other. We pretended nothing had changed. We let the opportunity pass us by when we could have told her about our dream. But we didn't, and I don't understand why. Despite the chance we had been given nothing changed. And a couple months later, we started dating Valerie."

Fenton shook his head. "I—I don't understand. What are you trying to say? What does that have to do with us?"

"Why did we start dating Valerie, Fenton?"

"Uh…" Startled, Fenton brushed a hand across the back of his neck. "She asked?"

"No."

Fenton wrinkled his nose. "She's…pretty? She can kick ass? She's a hot ghost hunter?"

"While all the above is true, you don't remember any deeper reasons?"

Fenton scowled. He unfolded his leg, scraping the heel of his shoe into the dirt. "You would know better than I would."

"It was after she met Danielle. Are you sure you can't remember anything?"

Fenton scrunched his nose. What was Phantom trying to get at? That Fenton was a terrible boyfriend who didn't even know why they started dating Valerie in the first place? Thanks, he already knew that. "Just tell me."

"It was because she had finally found out about half-ghosts. And when you—we—confronted her about Danielle's humanity, she drew a line over what she was willing to do to someone who was still human. She willingly turned against Vlad to save Danielle. A half-ghost, just like us!"

"Well, not just like us," Fenton objected. "She's a little girl living on her own. We're someone Valerie has a history with. Both sides of us."

"Yes, but when she accepted Danielle, it gave us hope." Fenton scoffed, and Phantom hurriedly amended, "It gave me hope. And when she let me go afterward…" Phantom sighed, the soft exhale giving voice to a wistful sort of wonder. "It was like we were given a second chance…not just in our freedom, but in Valerie's eyes as well."

Fenton dug his heel a little deeper into the dirt and directed his frown at his shoe. He felt a little sick, but that was stupid. It wasn't like when Sam started dating Gregor; whatever was going on between him and Phantom, it wasn't real. Becoming jealous over someone he could never even have? Stupid.

"And unlike Sam," Fenton said, trying not to sound bitter, "Valerie broke the status quo by asking us out a few days later. You said yes to make the most of that chance?"

"I said yes because we like her," Phantom corrected. "I wanted to get closer to her. I had hoped we could convince her to accept us, that a time would come when everything just fell into place and we could tell her our secret. But…" He sighed. "Ghosts kept getting in the way. We failed at kissing her. And now we're…different."

"Different," Fenton echoed hollowly. "That's one way to put it…"

"In more ways than you might think. Do you not remember any of this?"

"I—well…" Fenton closed his eyes, pushed aside his feelings, and tried to think back. He remembered Valerie asking him—them—out, but he had never examined the memory too closely. It was just one of those things he understood happened even when he never really thought about.

Thinking about it now, though, the memory didn't…feel right somehow. It was his memory, of course, his past, so he pushed past the unsettling sense that he wasn't really there and tried to remember the hope Phantom described. It had to be there somewhere. Maybe hidden beneath the wariness…

Because distrust was certainly present. Fenton didn't understand why they had even said yes. Valerie had just strung them up for torture. He hadn't trusted her, he remembered not trusting her, and yet they had said yes? Why? Phantom had apparently forgotten that part, the unease that had kept them waiting for Valerie to meet them halfway instead of simply offering up their secret, but then…had Fenton forgotten something too? The hope Phantom remembered so fondly?

What was happening to them?

Fenton shook his head. "Fuck, okay, this is weird. Just tell me what you're getting at."

"Whatever the split did when it divided us," Phantom explained, sounding a little excited, "it not only effected how we behave but also our memories. You must have noticed it. Have there been times when you would try to remember something we did in the past, and it feels…different?"

Like the memory of Valerie asking them out…?

Fenton licked his lips, feeling uneasy. It wasn't the only memory that felt a little off, it wasn't even the only one involving Valerie. "I—I think I know what you're talking about. It's that weird…thing. Sometimes when I try to remember things, it feels like we were both there, sometimes like it was just me, and sometimes like…when we kissed Valerie for the first time. I just don't understand why we weren't nervous, or why we grabbed her hand, or why we leaned forward when we did. It's like I—I wasn't really—"

"Like you weren't the one who kissed her!" Phantom crowed, too triumphant to let Fenton finish. "Yes! Exactly! I feel the same way when I remember our fight with Pariah Dark! I still remember that fight, but when I think back on our actions, they make no sense! It doesn't feel like me. It's almost as if I'm looking at someone else's memories. The way we moved, the way we fought back then…I don't feel a connection to it anymore."

"Okay, that's—" Fenton grabbed his hair and gave it a light tug. "Yeah, okay, it's weird, but kissing Valerie and fighting Pariah Dark were memories that were made by both of us as…as…a whole…person." Fenton grimaced, cringing. There was something implied there that he just couldn't put his finger on… "They're not going to feel exactly like our memories, because…because we…"

"Because we are different people now?" Phantom suggested.

That was it.

Fenton pulled harder on his hair. He bit his lip and pinched his eyes tightly shut, his heart pounding.

"But are we different because the Fenton you are now would never have kissed Valerie?" Phantom continued. "Or because the Fenton on that date with Valerie didn't want to kiss her in the first place, and you are finally free to think independently as yourself now that I'm not in your way?"

Fenton shook his head. He wanted to speak his objection aloud, but he didn't know how, what words he could use. His memories of that disastrous kiss weren't comfortable ones to examine, he had never looked too closely at it before, but Phantom could…he could almost be right? There was something off about it. They had kissed. It had been Fenton's body, Fenton's lips that had touched hers, he remembered the sensation clearly, but…

The surge of excitement hadn't been his.

The memory didn't feel like his until Valerie laughed and he recoiled.

"What if I was the one who kissed her?" Phantom pressed. "I remember every detail about how we felt back then. What if there's a reason our memories feel different?"

"There is a reason," Fenton protested, desperate. "The Ghost Catcher split us down the middle. It must have done something to our memories."

"Yes, but what if our memories are different now because we were always different? What if the Ghost Catcher didn't split us in half; what if it actually did what our—your—parents designed it for? It separated a ghost from a human."

Fenton shook his head again. "No," he said weakly.

"What if we are really not the same person at all?" Phantom continued. "What if we just spent two years physically joined, and the Ghost Catcher ripped us free? Most of our memories feel like we were both present because we were; we were just tied to a single mind, so we thought we were one person."

"We are the same person," Fenton argued. "We're just…"

"Two people with mismatched memories?"

"It's—no! Just!" Fenton grabbed his drink, his to-go bag, and climbed to his feet, using the tree for support. This was too important, too big an idea to hear without seeing Phantom speak the words. "Just, wait, okay? Just—hold on."

He circled around the tree, determined to look Phantom in the eyes when he fought him about it, but halfway around, he stumbled over a root and crashed his shoulder against the trunk to keep from falling. Phantom looked up at him, green eyes wide and bright with excitement. He sat directly behind where Fenton had been sitting, one leg folded beneath him and the other leg bent at the knee, half extended. His hand was tucked into his pouch, the other holding his drink, and he just looked so…relaxed.

He was throwing the past two years of their life—the most important two years of their life—into question, and he looked relaxed.

Fenton pushed himself away from the tree and cleared his throat. "How serious are you about this?"

Phantom tilted his head, his white hair sliding across his forehead. "How do you mean?"

"Do you actually believe what you're saying, or are you just throwing the idea out there?"

Phantom's gaze broke away from Fenton's. He looked out over the lake, his lips pulled into an odd smile. Fenton, uncomfortable just staring at Phantom, followed his gaze. A gust of wind fluttered Fenton's hair and stirred the water, causing the sunlight to glisten and shift in a dazzling pattern. It was pretty, hypnotizing. Had Phantom been watching it while talking to Fenton? No wonder he was so damn relaxed.

"It's only a theory, Fenton," Phantom said, regaining Fenton's attention. "There are likely other explanations. This one just appeals to me the most."

"Because you want us to be separate people," Fenton accused. "That way you can date me without making it weird."

"Well…" Phantom's eyes drifted from the lake and made contact with Fenton's, "yes."

The to-go back slipped from Fenton's hand. He swore and hastily bent down to pick it up.

Phantom laughed softly. "You okay?"

"That had nothing to do with you!" Fenton stood upright again and clutched the bag to his chest.

Phantom's lips curled in a lazy smile. "Sure."

Fenton coughed and hurriedly said, "We weren't separate people before we split. That's crazy."

"No, I know. 'Separate' isn't the right word since we were one being. We weren't aware of each other or even ourselves, so calling us separate back then is a bit misleading, but!" Phantom held up his milkshake and lifted his index finger from the cup. "When we are so tightly linked we move and think as one, who is to say where one person ends and another begins? We only assume we were one because that is all we have ever known after becoming half-ghost, half-human, but there could still be a divide between us. This could be the reason the Ghost Catcher works the way it does on us."

"Right! The Ghost Catcher! If we were truly, uh…" Fenton furrowed his brow, trying to think of a word. "Two people stuck together?" He looked at Phantom for confirmation, but Phantom shrugged. "Fine, if we were two people stuck together, why does the Ghost Catcher split our personalities different ways each time we separate? If this was normal, why am I a fighter? Shouldn't I still be," he mockingly drawled his words, "the fun dude?"

"Our minds were linked as one," Phantom reminded him. "It was a link so tight we weren't even aware of each other. The Ghost Catcher split that mind in half when it divided us, causing us to take on fractured personalities that most represent us at that time. The lover and the fighter in this case. What I find more interesting," Phantom shifted his legs and leaned forward, his knee now pressed to his chest, "is that we are becoming more independent the longer we're apart."

Fenton clutched his bag closer to his chest. "Independent how?"

"You aren't just a fighter, and I'm not just a lover anymore. The longer we are apart, the less those first personalities define us. I believe it started to happen that first time with the," his lips quirked, "fun dude and superhero as well."

Fenton frowned. "What do you mean? We were worse back then."

"Yes," Phantom shrugged, "but we were also younger."

Fenton hummed reluctant agreement.

"My point is that, while we were predominately more interested in having fun or being a hero, that last day we were apart had you falling out of the Specter Speeder to save me, and me riding on a vacuum while I cleaned our room. Don't you see? We were starting to lose those extreme personalities back then too! You became more moral and more willing to help, and I…" Phantom winced. "Well, I treated you the same as I had during and after our practice, using you as if you were something to be disappointed in, and only later began to see you as someone I should work with instead of as someone I needed to step over."

"Oh, so, you're naturally a jerk?" Fenton asked mockingly.

"Well…" Phantom coughed. "I did apparently kill you in that one failed future."

"And now you're falling in love with me!" Fenton forced a laugh. "Talk about a fucking upset!"

Phantom blushed. He actually blushed.

"That's—uh, I…I never really saw you. I had no reason to look at you as someone separate from myself. I…I was…I needed to see you as your own person, and then the feelings just…"

Fenton felt his own cheeks warming and quickly shook his head. "Forget it." He ran his free hand through his hair and forced himself to breath in a deep breath. "You—You, uh…What you were saying was that you, um, think we are settling into who we truly are the longer our minds stay separate?" he asked. "That the, uh, whole extreme mindset thing after splitting is just a temporary side effect of our minds being so tightly linked beforehand?"

"More or less." Phantom inhaled slowly himself, and the glowing green light left his cheeks. "Our memories are becoming clearer too. It's almost as if a veil is being lifted, and we are finally seeing our past as individuals instead of as two minds linked as one."

Fenton pensively chewed on his bottom lip and looked out across the lake. The sunlight continued to glisten on the water, inviting his gaze to linger. The ducks he had heard paddled across the surface, but otherwise it was just a broad, dangerously empty area for Fenton's eyes to slide across. There were no trails for his eyes to follow, no distant old ladies to keep an eye on. He looked down, closer to where he stood. The bank dropped away only a short distance from where Phantom sat beneath their tree, water lazily lapping at the overhang. A few short reeds swayed in the breeze.

It was almost…soothing. So long as Fenton focused on what he saw, on the gentle breeze blowing across his skin, he could keep his thoughts from racing. Phantom's idea made some sense, and not just because of the personality thing—not that Fenton was ready to believe him about that either, but—

It was his memories. Fenton had known there was something off about them; he had been noticing it for a while. Phantom's idea that they could be hinting at a deeper divide just…felt so natural when Fenton thought back on them. Actions and feelings that didn't belong to him, ideas that felt alien…

But Phantom couldn't be right. He couldn't.

"Maybe we just feel different now because our personalities are all screwed up," Fenton said, uneasy. "We're getting confused, feeling like actual people because we've been apart longer than we should have. That's all. That's what's changing our memories—er, changing us and how we look back on them. That doesn't mean we were actually different before the split. We can't just rewrite our past."

"Why not?" Phantom asked softly. "It is our past to rewrite, isn't it?"

Fenton looked down at him and found Phantom watching him instead of the lake. Finding those green eyes staring at him made something leap in Fenton's chest, made his blush return, but he fought past it. This was more important than some confusing bodily reaction.

"Because it's all just speculation," he said. "We can't prove it. And if there's no proof, then we're just fooling ourselves."

Phantom grinned crookedly. "We? Are we both fools, Fenton?"

Fenton wrinkled his nose. "I'm not saying I believe you, but…okay, you might have a point. A small one."

"You need actual proof."

"Yes."

"And our very different feelings for Valerie and Sam doesn't prove anything?"

Fenton shook his head. "That could mean anything."

Phantom sighed, tipping his head back against the tree. "I suppose I can understand that. It took me while to really start thinking there might be something more too."

"What changed your mind?"

Phantom closed his eyes. He breathed in deeply and held the breath for a moment, appearing to brace himself. Finally, he let it out. "Noah King."

Fenton frowned. The name sounded vaguely familiar. "Who…" He stood up straighter, his eyes widening. "The guy from the car crash? Are we going to talk about that now?"

Phantom winced. "What is there to talk about? He's fine. I healed him—that's what I want to talk about."

"Not about the attack…?"

Phantom shook his head.

Frustrated, Fenton bit his straw as he took a drink. It was a step in the right direction, he was at least going to hear how Phantom had managed to heal someone other than Fenton, but Phantom was still hiding his guilt. Fenton couldn't help him until he stopped trying to pretend everything was fine.

Fenton sighed and let his straw slide free of his lips. "Alright. Let me guess, you think our past isn't what we think because you were able to heal someone else."

Phantom smiled. It looked a little weak at the corners, it didn't quite reach his closed eyes, but it was a smile. "Partly. So long as I could only heal you, it was only a healing ability I could share between myself and my other half. By healing someone else, I proved to myself it wasn't just an ability. It's a power, and it's mine."

Fenton reluctantly nodded his head. "Mom said each ghost develops powers and abilities that are unique to them."

Phantom's eyes flashed open. He sat forward, and his smile became real. Hopeful. "Really?"

Fenton shrugged. "That's what she said. Also, something about ghosts needing to understand how human biology works in order to heal us. Our past must be why you were able to develop this power. You just needed to figure out how to turn it outward once we were separate."

"Right…" Phantom leaned back against the tree with a sigh. "Outward…"

Phantom sounded…upset.

Fenton hesitated, but he hated seeing Phantom like this. He stepped forward and knelt on one knee beside Phantom, setting his bag on the ground. "What's wrong?"

Phantom looked at him, his green eyes not quite as brilliant as before. "I couldn't heal him."

Fenton frowned and tilted his head to the side. "But you did."

"Not at first." Phantom inhaled another deep breath and let it out slowly. "He…had been knocked unconscious. There was so much blood, so many injuries I wanted to heal, but no matter how much power I summoned, I just couldn't heal him." He shifted his weight off his leg and pulled both legs up to his chest. He closed his eyes. "I was starting to despair my power would only ever work on you because we were the same person. The man was lying there, hurt, and I couldn't do anything about it because he wasn't you."

"But you figured it out somehow," Fenton said gently. "You healed him in the end."

Another slow exhale. "Yes. You were the key."

Fenton jolted in surprise. "Me? But you just said…"

"Not you my human half, you as in you," Phantom explained in a near whisper. "If the only reason I could heal you was because you are my other half, then there was nothing I could do for Noah. I had to stop thinking of you as my other half and start seeing you as a human I had been bonded to. It was the only way to see the problem in a new light. Why could I heal you but not anyone else if we weren't the same person?"

Fenton held his breath and didn't bother trying to guess. He couldn't imagine the stress Phantom must have been under. It was no longer so surprising that he had latched onto such a bizarre idea. It was the only way he could heal a complete stranger.

Phantom laughed shakily. "It seems so obvious in hindsight. I had to overshadow him."

Fenton recoiled. "You—what? Why?"

"Because that was the closest way to replicate what we shared. It was…" Phantom grimaced, his lips pulling back from his teeth. "Awful. He was in so much pain, and I could feel all of it."

"You had to feel his pain as your own," Fenton said, his eyes widening. Maddie had been right after all; Phantom had needed to make a connection with the one he wanted to heal. A physical connection. "Once you were overshadowing him, you could heal him?"

Phantom shook his head. "There was too much pain. I couldn't concentrate. I tried, because I wasn't sure if I could still do it if we weren't sharing a body, but it was no use. I was thrown out within moments. I thought it was over then. I thought I had failed."

Fenton reached for him. The response was automatic, triggered by the pain in Phantom's voice. His hand landed on Phantom's knee. Phantom's eyes rose to meet Fenton's. There was pain there too, a pain that hurt Fenton to see, but there was also something vulnerable, something that pulled Fenton in.

Fenton realized his hand was still on Phantom's knee and quickly jerked it away. He tried to break their eye-contact as well, but his eyes remained trapped in Phantom's gaze. "What happened?" he asked softly. "Obviously that didn't stop you."

"No." Phantom's lips twitched. "Both of us are too stubborn for our own good. He woke up, started crying because of the pain, and I knew I couldn't just give up. I was still able to heal you after our split, so I tried to heal him again after overshadowing him. And it worked." He flashed Fenton a quick, fleeting smile. "The power flowed like it had just been waiting for me to create that bridge between us. I mended bones, healed bruises, sealed his wounds… I was exhausted by the time the paramedics arrived, but I had healed him." His smile returned, softer and smaller, but no less triumphant. "Whatever disaster I had caused, I managed to make things right in the end. And now I know I can heal someone who isn't you. I just have to overshadow them first."

"Wow…" Fenton breathed. He brushed a hand through his hair and finally managed to look away from Phantom's eyes. "Have—have you tried that trick on anyone else?"

Phantom grimaced. "No. I guess I could try again with Sam, but I doubt there are many other humans who would welcome me overshadowing them, even to be healed."

Fenton thought about all the kids at school who had fawned over him with questions about Phantom. "You might be surprised," he said dryly

Phantom titled his head and looked at Fenton through his fringe. "Would you?"

Fenton frowned. "Would I what?"

"Allow me to overshadow you if it meant I could heal you?"

"Uh…" Fenton raised his eyebrows, incredulous. "Why would you need to? I'm already your other half, so…"

"Are you, though?" Phantom asked pointedly. "Or are you simply a human I've been bonded to for two years? Someone I had overshadowed for two years?"

Fenton's mouth dropped open, and for a moment he couldn't find the words or summon the breath he needed to speak them. Because that! That was why Phantom was telling Fenton about last night! That was what connected his theory to what he had experienced. Fenton had asked Phantom what had changed his mind, why he thought they might have been two people even before the split, and he had answered by sharing a stressful experience Fenton couldn't even imagine, one that had required Phantom to see Fenton as someone else.

"You healed me without needing to overshadow me before," Fenton argued quickly, trying to find an angle.

"I had felt the pain in your knees when we were one," Phantom pointed out. "It was what allowed me to draw on my power that first time. I focused on how it had felt, how much it hurt you, and I let my desire to heal you pull my power outward."

"My concussion—"

"We have been concussed before as one person," Phantom interrupted. "I might not have felt that particular concussion, but I knew how your body experiences a concussion, so I didn't need to feel your pain. But what happens if you are hurt in a way we have never experienced before? Will you let me overshadow you then?"

Fenton chewed on his lip and looked down at his knees. The last time Phantom had overshadowed him hadn't been pleasant, but that was partly because Fenton had fought against him, partly because Phantom doing it at all had hurt more than Fenton wanted to admit.

"If I can't heal you without overshadowing you," Phantom continued, "will that prove to you we weren't the same?"

"I—" Fenton closed his eyes. "Fuck. I don't know. Maybe? I mean, I guess that would make me no different than Noah…"

"I wouldn't go that far," Phantom said with a little laugh. "Being bonded to someone for over two years can't just be shrugged aside. You mean more to me than any other human I'm likely to meet. In some ways, I know you better than I know myself."

"Ha," Fenton said, not laughing.

"It is something of a moot point anyway," Phantom continued. "What are the chances you'll need my help before Friday?"

"Not as low as you might think," Fenton muttered, "considering what you want me to tell Valerie."

Phantom laughed softly.

"It just—it doesn't make any sense." Fenton opened his eyes and stared at Phantom, his ghost half, his dual image. "How can you not be me? I've been Danny Phantom for two years! How can I…how can you be someone else all along?" He clenched his jaw and dropped his gaze, glaring down at his knees. "How can there have been two of us? How could I have never known you were there? It just doesn't make any sense!"

Was he still a hero if he didn't have his powers? If they were never his to begin with? What did it all mean if he wasn't Danny Phantom?

For that matter, what would it mean for them? For Phantom's feelings and the merge on Friday?

"Does it not?" Phantom asked.

Fenton saw Phantom's legs levitate off the ground from the corner of his eyes, and he quickly twisted around, facing the lake. Phantom floated around until they were face-to-face again, eye-to-eye. His hand landed on Fenton's shoulder, holding him in place. Phantom's green eyes filled his vision, capturing and holding Fenton's attention so that he could barely breathe.

"I'm falling for you, Fenton. Which way makes more sense?" His forehead pressed against Fenton's. All Fenton could see was the bright green of his irises, but he could feel Phantom's breath on his lips, the wind playing with their hair. "That I'm crushing on myself? Or that I am falling in love with the human I have been bonded to for two years?"

Fenton's face exploded in a blush. "That's—" His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. Don't let him get to you, he reminded himself. "You, uh, y-you're just saying that to make this alright."

"'This'?" Phantom repeated. Fenton couldn't see his lips, but he heard the smile in his voice. "You mean my feelings for you?"

Fenton's heart hammered against his chest. "No." Yes. "I mean us being separate. If we're really different people, that throws the merge on Friday into question."

"Ah…" Phantom lifted his forehead from Fenton's. The world behind Phantom returned to Fenton's vision—the lake, the sun, the reeds swaying in the breeze—but Fenton kept his eyes locked on Phantom's. The ghost was smiling mischievously. "You caught that, did you?"

Fenton scowled at him, but the expression lacked any real heat. His heart was beating too fast. "Add manipulation to your box of traits…"

Phantom shrugged. "Manipulation is an MO of mine, according to the hunters. If it can actually save us, I'll use whatever tool I have."

It was on the tip of Fenton's tongue to argue the point that the merge was the thing that could save them, but that would be falling into Phantom's trap. Fenton could all too easily lose that debate. Phantom was too sly, too smooth, and too desperate to give ground. There were too many pros in his corner and too many cons that came with merging.

Instead, Fenton firmed his voice and fell back on the one thing Phantom couldn't dispute, "You promised."

"Ah, yes. I did." Phantom floated back to his place beneath the tree, and Fenton twisted around to keep him in his sight. Phantom continued smiling at him as he sat. "I will keep that promise…unless you change your mind."

Fenton grabbed his bag and stood up, backing away from Phantom. The overhang was too close for him to go far, but he needed distance. "I won't," he swore, "not over some theory we can't even prove."

Phantom leaned his head back to stare up at Fenton, his smile finally fading. "No," he said softly, "don't go…"

The sad, almost desperate note in Phantom's voice froze Fenton in place.

Phantom patted a spot on the ground next to him and forced his lips into another smile, one that was more reassuring but tense around the edges. "We can discuss something else? I know this topic was a heavy one, but there are other things we can talk about."

While sitting side-by-side…? Fenton swallowed and looked at the ground Phantom had patted. It looked comfortable. The tree was big enough for both of them to lean against the trunk, but Phantom had sat beside a root, and the spot he patted would require Fenton to sit close to him in order to fit in the space between Phantom and the next root clawing its way out of the ground.

Fenton wavered on his feet. "I think I should sit on my side of the tree. I, uh, I need to figure this out."

"We may as well enjoy our time together while we can," Phantom said. "The theory won't escape you. Believe me, you will likely still be thinking about it long after lunch is over."

Fenton grimaced. "Speaking from experience? You've obviously put a lot of thought into this…"

Phantom laughed. "Every spare thought, yes. Like I said, I can't get you out of my head. Sometimes that has been about who we are, and other times…"

He didn't elaborate on the other times, but Fenton didn't need him to. He shifted on his feet, his cheeks growing warm.

"We received a newsletter from NASA right before your lunch," Phantom continued persuasively. "I can read it aloud while you finish eating."

That was…really tempting. Fenton could sit beside Phantom under a tree, stare out over the lake while they discussed the latest studies and discoveries by NASA, just two people who loved space, sharing their lunch period together…

Fenton's heart panged. It took him a second to realize the ache in his chest was longing.

Fuck.

"No!" he said quickly, sharply. "No, no, no, I—"

He stepped back, and his shoe slipped down the bank. He yelped, but the drop was a short one, and his foot landed in the water before he could overbalance. His other foot quickly followed as his momentum caused him to stumble backward, water splashing and sloshing around his calves, his jeans, his socks, his shoes.

"Shit!" he swore.

Phantom stood and walked over. He held out his hand, a teasing smile pulling at his lips, brightening his eyes. "Come on. I'll dry you off."

Fenton bit his lip and stared at Phantom, at his offered hand. Fenton should have seen himself as he stared at features that could have mirrored his own, but all Fenton felt was a fluttering, warm sensation in his chest as the breeze swayed Phantom's white hair over his eyes. All he felt was an attraction that didn't belong, a magnetic pull urging him on.

Something had changed. Fenton needed to back away, to run. Something in his defenses had fallen and it was…dangerous. He couldn't retreat into the lake, but he could ignore Phantom's hand and step around him, climb up the bank on his own. It was the safer option, one that could calm his heart and maintain the status quo.

Instead, Fenton reluctantly, hesitantly, grabbed Phantom's hand. The white latex glove kept their hands from actually touching, but it couldn't shield Fenton from the strength of Phantom's fingers, it couldn't stop Fenton's fingers squeezing in turn. It was necessary for Phantom to help him up; Fenton tried to focus on that.

Fenton placed one foot onto dry land by using Phantom's hand for balance. He pushed off the silty bottom, and Phantom pulled him up, helping him climb up the bank with minimal effort. It surprised Fenton how strong Phantom's arm was to bear his weight so easily, but then, Phantom was a ghost. Just because he didn't like to fight didn't mean he wasn't powerful.

The cold touch of intangibility passed over Fenton, and when it faded, Fenton's jeans and shoes were no longer soaked.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

Phantom gave Fenton's hand a brief squeeze. "You're welcome."

He released Fenton's hand, and Fenton stepped around him, away from the overhang, but instead of following, Phantom sat down. Fenton stopped, startled. Phantom hooked his knees over the bank and fell back on the grass with a huge, explosive sigh. He tucked his arms under his head and closed his eyes.

Fenton stared down at him, his mouth opening and closing for several seconds. "You—what? You—I thought you wanted to sit together?"

"I would like to, but just being near you is enough for now." Phantom cracked one green eye open and peered up at Fenton. Fenton's red hoodie hung loose along Phantom's arms, making Phantom look softer than Fenton knew him to be. "I don't want you to feel like you have to hide behind a tree again."

Fenton coughed, blushing. "I, uh, I wasn't trying to hide, I just think I should concentrate on finishing my lunch."

Phantom's eye closed. "Fenton, my so-called human self, you are the master of the river Nile…"

Fenton bristled. "And what does that make you then? The spirit of De-Nile?"

Phantom laughed—he actually laughed, and this time Fenton could see his stupid grin opening to let the boisterous guffaws out, his white teeth flashing in the sunlight. His green eyes opened to look up at Fenton, crinkled at the corners as he settled into an amused grin. Fenton felt his heart racing and quickly looked away.

"Flustered, Fenton?" Phantom observed, a little smug but mostly pleased.

Fenton turned away and walked back to the tree, his steps a little faster than they needed to be. "You forgot your milkshake," he called over his shoulder.

Phantom pulled his hand out from beneath his head and gave it a little wave. "You can have the rest."

Fenton sat in the space Phantom had vacated—he had been right about it being comfortable—and carefully set his drink beside Phantom's. "And taste your backwash? No thanks."

"Is it really backwash if we are supposed to be the same person?" Phantom countered. "Maybe you should drink it to prove you don't believe my theory about us being different people."

Fenton looked up to glare at Phantom, a snappy retort ready on his lips, but the will to do so died as he watched the wind dance along Phantom's white hair, the slow rise and fall of his chest as the ghost breathed steadily inside Fenton's hoodie. Once more, Phantom looked completely relaxed, and Fenton felt that pang in his heart again.

Desperate, he looked down at his to-go bag as he unrolled the top and pulled out the cheeseburger Phantom had bought him. "Just don't get any grass stains on my hoodie," he mumbled.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Phantom replied easily. "I have grown quite attached to it."

Fenton unwrapped his cheeseburger. He looked up as he took a bite, staring out across the lake. The sunlight still sparkled along the water, stirred into motion by the breeze, but Fenton soon found his gaze drifting downward until he was once more staring at Phantom. For a moment, he struggled to swallow.

Once he managed, he whispered to himself and Phantom, "Just don't get too attached…"

---

Hehehe...

Okay, so a few things I want to cover real fast. It might get a little long, but you guys have said you enjoy reading my rambles, soooo...hell yeah! Let's do this!

Fenton: When Fenton and Phantom first split in the first chapter (back when this was a one-shot), Fenton's half was given a lot of their insecurity over Valerie and the others laughing at Danny's "failure," and that's how his character as this awkward, shy person began. Phantom's focus was more on his wounded pride, he wanted to fix things, he wanted to prove them wrong. Fenton just wanted to protect what had already been hurt, even if that meant letting go of Valerie. Then the lover and the fighter personalities came into play, and now Fenton isn't just protecting his hurt feelings, he is actively defending himself from future hurt (by denying his feelings for Phantom, by rejecting Phantom in whatever way is needed, and by closing Valerie out). As Fenton becomes more of his own person, their past with Valerie takes on a new light as well because it's no longer Fenton/Danny she's been hunting, it's *Phantom*. Fenton's not just defending himself anymore, he also wants to protect Phantom.

So, what happened at the beginning of the chapter (or what I wanted to show) was that Phantom had touched on trusting Valerie with their biggest secret ever, and that triggered Fenton's anger through 1) Valerie's ghost hunting, 2) how sorely she had already damaged Fenton's trust in the beginning of the story, and 3) Phantom's continued regard for her. That last one became especially sticky during Fenton's rant because a conflict of the heart is particularly distracting.

Phantom theory: Right now it's just a theory, but wanting something to be true can lead to truly believing it's true. Their individuality started with Fenton declaring and enforcing his boundaries, got worse as Phantom became self-aware enough to fear an end to his (and Fenton's) existence, and little by little they've been gaining personhood through their individual struggles. Now they feel so real they have to wonder if they have been alive (so to speak) this whole time. "Have I always been here?" It's not a question that can just be shoved back into its box now that Phantom has shared his theory. It's going to keep cropping up whenever they try to remember something or their thoughts stray toward one another, which will happen often, thanks to their feelings.

It's kind of like a slow burn existential crisis with a side-order of romantic tension lol

The symbolism: Right! So! This is just something I've been having fun with, but my friends in the pitch pearl server really enjoyed it last time, so, uh. I really like including symbolism when I can. I'm not a pro at it by any means, but like with this chapter, Fenton lost track of the path he was following (the safe "we are the same" path) while he was so focused on Phantom. When they sat down, Fenton was staring out at the park with its many clearly charted paths (including the one they had taken, the one that turns away from the lake) while Phantom was staring out at the lake where there are no paths. Phantom is facing the unknown while Fenton is looking back at the paths others have carved out for him. By the end of the chapter, Fenton is on Phantom's side of the tree, but instead of staring out at a lake with no paths, he stares at Phantom because Phantom is guiding Fenton to being truly separate.

Also, them being at a tree now is supposed to be a callback to the tree Phantom had been in when he first shared his confusion over his memories with Sam and Tucker in chapter 18. He was in a tree then, he's under a tree now. There isn't anything, like, super significant here, I just. The Tree of Life. Because they are essentially becoming alive through growth. The Tree of Life is symbolic for growth and becoming a stronger person through your branches spreading outward.

The one symbolism that IS important! That's really important and I have been waiting years! For someone to point out! Is the meteors crossing in an X during the meteor shower. It's a reference to Shakespear's use of the star-crossed lovers symbolism in Romeo and Juliet. Star-crossed lovers are lovers who are NOT fated to be together. The stars cross paths once and never again. This is fate warning these lovers won't have a happy ending. That's why everything is pulling Fenton and Phantom apart. That's why this feels like an uphill battle. Fate said NO, and Phantom needs Fenton to help him yell back YES. (One reason I really love the song I quoted for this chapter lol)

And like with Romeo and Juliet, this love is going to end in tragedy, either for Fenton and Phantom...or for Danny. Some of you have noticed that lol. My job is to make that decision feel satisfying in the end, no matter the outcome :)

Alright! I rambled enough ohawoeifjd oh gosh I'm sorry. I just really enjoy talking about my story! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!