Chapter 9

A week later Steve got discharged with a wheelchair, crutches and a long list of orders and medication.
At first, Danny had wanted to take his friend in but thinking about how much Steve needed the ocean he decided against it.
He had rearranged a few thing in the house though, so Steve could maneuver around a little easier.
Steve's leg was still in a cast and outstretched which means he needed a little more space to turn.
He had wanted out of the hospital but he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do at home either. He couldn't do much more there than in the hospital. The worst thing for him was that he couldn't even go for a swim.
The only comfort he got out of going home was that he could sleep in his own bed – well, the guest room for the time being but that was way better than a hospital bed – and that he would get "real" food.
But food was the least of his concerns when he and Danny arrived at Steve's house.
Despite the pain medication he had taken before they had left, he was hurting big time.
He avoided a groan when lifting his leg to put it in the splinter on the wheelchair but Danny noticed anyway. Without asking he took the chair and pushed it towards the house when Steve was done. And the SEAL let him without arguing which showed Danny once more how bad it must be.
He drove the wheelchair directly into the guestroom and placed it next to the bed in such a way that Steve only had to stand up and turn slightly to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Okay, let's get your leg up," Dany said after he had pulled of Steve's shoe.
This time Steve wasn't able to stifle anything. He hissed in pain when Danny assisted him to get both his legs on the bed and groaned loudly when he had finally achieved his goal.
Danny fetched a few pillows and propped his friend's leg up like the nurse had showed him to do, which got him another hiss of pain out of the SEAL's mouth. Then he spread a blanket over him.
"Try to relax. I'll be back in a minute."

When Danny returned, he had a glass and a pill in his hands.
"Here take this."
"No, I already had one at the hospital. The next isn't due until four hours."
"I know. This is a different one. Doc said this might happen after the trip and told me to give you this. It will most likely make you tired but a little nap isn't the worst thing for you right now, is it?"
"No. Would be great," Steve answered and took both items from Danny. He swallowed the pill emptied the glass and closed his eyes.
Danny adjusted the blanket, said "sleep well" and turned to leave. When he had almost reached the door Steve mumbled "thanks Danny."
"Yeah. Try to rest."

When Danny checked on his partner 15 minutes later, the latter was fast asleep.
Danny smiled at the way Steve looked when his features were totally relaxed.
'He looks so young and like nothing could harm him. I wish that was true. Thankfully, he is resting now. Hopefully, it'll do him good.'
Danny went to the kitchen and prepared a little meal for them both. He just needed to put it in the oven and it would be ready after twenty minutes.
'Just have to wait until Steve wakes up again.'

They sat down to eat 4 hours later.
When Steve had the first spoonful, he moaned with pleasure.
"This is soo great," he said after his mouth was empty again but right before the next spoonful was in.
"You only saying that because you had hospital food the last two weeks." 'And even less for another two,' he thought but didn't say it out loud.
"No! No, Danny. This…this is absolutely delicious. You should open a restaurant or something. It's awesome."

After dinner both men spent a quiet evening in front of the TV. Steve had dozed off after 2/3rd of the movie and Danny didn't blame him.
It was just a small change of scene but it was exhausting for Steve nonetheless.
Thankfully, though Steve had really just dozed off, so when Danny moved, he woke up again and was able to make it to bed with minimum assist.

The next two weeks went pretty well.
Danny had stayed home for two days after the discharge, adjusting a few things to make sure Steve would manage on his own. Then he returned to work, calling his friend at least three times a day to reassure himself everything was fine.
"It's nice you check on me, but it is not necessary to call me," Steve told Danny in the evening of the 3rd day. I want you to concentrate on the job. Be aware of your surroundings."
"You think I call you in the middle of a shootout or something?"
"No. But still…just…just focus on the job. Please."
"You worried that something is going to happen to me?"
It took a moment but then Steve admitted "yes, Danny. I am. It's bad enough knowing that you are out there without me having your back. I mean, sure, I know the others will but…but it is different. And…and knowing that your thoughts are here with me makes it even worse."
"See, that is why I am calling you. Because I feel the same way. Your thoughts are with me and I want you to concentrate when you are moving around."
"What can happen? I am at home Danny. No-one is shooting at me!"
"You can fall and…"
"What, out of the wheelchair?" Steve remarked sarcastically.
Dann sighed "no, you schmuck! When you are on crutches! You can slip or…"
"Danny," Steve interrupted again. This time with a soft voice. "I am barely using them. It's way too exhausting with the fully casted leg. If I could bend my knee, it would be good to use them but like this? No, thanks. I am in the wheelchair all day- or on the couch or the bed."
"You sure?"
Steve chuckled. "I am sure. I know what I am doing. It is not my brain that needs to be fixed.
How about I promise you to keep my cell on me at all time? So, if something is up, I call you."
Danny nodded. "I…I can live with that. If you promise me to call if something happens."
"I do, Danny. I promise."

While Danny was at work, Steve went through all the papers in the study, sorting out which to keep and which to throw away.
He did some cleaning up in the kitchen too but since he couldn't go upstairs, he was done cleaning out after a few days.
The rest of the following 1 ½ weeks Steve alternated between reading, watching TV, taking naps and preparing dinner as far as he could. He enjoyed having time to read again but doing it "all day" wasn't for him. He started to get bored. And a bored McGarrett isn't a balanced McGarrett. He felt himself becoming more and more angry and aggressive every minute, against his better judgement.
It had built up for a few days now and he had been able to hide it from Danny but both emotions were at a level now where he knew he needed to calm down before Danny was getting home. He couldn't face his friend like this. It would only lead to arguments and the mood he was in was just perfect to say things he didn't mean. He would just say them to lash out and Danny was the least person who deserved it.
He tried some breathing exercises, he tried watching TV, he tried crossword puzzles just to distract himself but nothing worked.
At the end of the day he sat down on the couch and tried to meditate.
But he was already too worked up and had to start over a few times.
'One more try,' he thought to himself. He had just closed his eyes when he heard the Camaro approach and a minute later Danny walked in.
Steve tried to hide his mood but Danny caught up on it immediately.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, then with a little concern "You okay? Did you hurt yourself?"
"No, I'm good. Everything is fine." He forced a smile.
"You don't look like everything is fine."
"It's stupid, okay? I…I will get over it."
"Just tell me," Danny demanded.
"Danny, please." Steve begged, already feeling anger boiling up. "Just…just let go."
"No. Nothing can be so stupid that brings you in such a mood."
"I don't want to talk about it!" Steve said little louder than planned.
"Okay, get up." Danny replied in a soft voice.
"And I don't want a hug either," Steve even angrier than before.
"And I wasn't about to give you one. Now, get up."
"Why?"
"So you can sit down in your wheelchair. Now do it!"
Steve didn't want to annoy his friend any more than he already had, so he just got up and sat back down in his chair.
Danny pushed the chair away from the couch across the kitchen.
"Where are we going?" Steve asked.
"Just relax. We are almost there."
Danny stopped at the end of the lanai just at the beginning of the beach."
"Now close your eyes."
"Why?"
"Steve! Trust me. Just do it!
Steve did.
"Now take deep breaths, concentrate on what you are smelling."
"Danny…"
"Sch…sch…breathe."
After a few seconds Danny continued "and listen to the waves. Can you hear them when they reach the beach? How they sound out on the ocean? Concentrate on them." And with the following words Danny's voice became quieter and quieter. "The ocean, the waves, It's the only sound you hear."
Steve's posture visibly relaxed after about five minutes. Danny gave him another five before he addressed him again.
Before he gently touched his friend's neck, he said in a soft voice "Steven?"
"Hm."
"You good?"
"Yeah."
Danny turned the wheelchair around, looked at his friend and said "Now, tell me what is so stupid that you couldn't tell me but worked yourself up so bad?"
Steve hesitated for just a short moment before he burst out "I am going crazy, Danny. I need to do something. I need to move."
"Hey, I know. Just a little more patience. Doc had said it is possible that you will get a different cast next week and you can start with PT."
"I know. But it is next week. It feels like next year. I…I am an active guy, Danny. It's driving me crazy to just sit around."
"I know and I am actually impressed that you have lasted this long. I had already expected it last week. Tell me what do you want to do?"
"I want to run, Danny. I want to swim. I want to do something."
"Okay, come on. Put some sports clothes on."
When Steve was about to say something, Danny said "and don't ask "why"?"

Forty-five minutes later they arrived at a fitness center:
"What are we doing here?"
"I spoke to your doctor. He said it's okay when you do some workout with your upper body.
The manager here said they have some pretty good devices for that. For some of them you have to transfer to the seat, others you can even use while staying in the wheelchair."
This time the smile wasn't forced.
"I love you, Danny."