Chapter 11
It was slow progress – very slow even which the doctor called "quite normal" considering the complexity of the injury, but frustrated Steve to no end.
He worked hard in his PT sessions and demanded to get the permission to do some exercises on his own.
"I can't allow that just yet," the therapist answered.
"Why not?" Steve asked upset and therefore a little louder than intended.
The therapist took a moment to think about the answer but decided to be honest and to not sugarcoat anything.
'He went to a hard military training. I am sure he can handle it when you give him a piece of your mind,' he thought.
"Because I think you are not ready for it. You are…"
"What is that supposed to mean?" Steve interrupted angrily.
"I was just about to explain it to you.
I know you had been hurt badly several times and have recovered every time and I know you want to be back on your feet this time too. You are proving every session that you would do everything to achieve your goal and that is a problem. I mean it is good to be motivated because without hard work you won't be able to walk again normally.
But this time is different. Because you need to take care of the pace. And this time it is not your brain that is setting the pace, it's your leg. And your leg says "No overdoing".
We've already talked about this. And as long as you don't accept that you are at a great risk of making things worse. I am sorry but this is the truth."
"And I believe you. And I wouldn't do anything that would lead to further injury. But…but I have the feeling that I am not doing enough."
"I am here five days a week which means you are working on your recovery 5 times a week. That is enough for now. You can work out every day in a few weeks."
"Weeks?! No! No! That is too long."
"See? That's what I mean. You don't listen to your body."
Steve fell silent. After a few seconds he looked up again and asked "What makes you think I am not doing some exercises on my own already? I mean, I can take off the splint myself and put it back on. I just wanted official permission."
"I know you didn't do anything. I would have noticed it," the therapist said convincingly.
"How?" Steve asked.
"I won't tell you that," came the answer, followed by a mischievously smile.
"What…if I promise you to work only 30 minutes a day and…and only go as far as we do in our sessions? No trying to bend further or to hold longer?" Steve asked sounding like a child asking a parent for permission.
"Are you begging commander?"
"Yes sir. I do."
"I think about it," the therapist just stated.
"Come on. It's the last session before the weekend. If you don't say yes, I am losing another two days."
"And if you push me, I say no and you have to wait another two weeks. Let me think about it. I'll tell you on Monday."
"Hey, how was therapy today?" Danny asked when he came home early afternoon.
"Okay," Steve said. His tone didn't sound convincing though and Danny thought there was more to come. When his friend stayed silent, Danny asked "What happened?"
"Same as the rest of the week. I can't go over 5°. I am stuck." Steve answered frustrated.
"That is better than a week ago," Danny tried to comfort. "And what else?" he wanted to know.
"What else?! Isn't that enough?"
"It is. But I know you, Steve. There is more. I can read it in your eyes."
"Not good at hiding things anymore either, am I?"
"It's more like I got better at reading you."
Steve sat there and stared at Danny. Then all of a sudden, the whole story came out and with it the anger and the frustration.
"Two more days, Danny! And then he still might say no. It will take years to get back on my feet if it is going to continue like this," he finished his report.
"I know that sucks, but…"
"I promised him, Danny. What else can I do?" Steve was desperate again.
"He doesn't know you, Steve. You are his responsibility. And…he actually has a point there."
"I know but I don't want to make things worse either. And I promised to follow his order. Maybe I should call a lawyer and sign a paper."
"Calm down a bit, will you? Getting upset doesn't make it better.
How about something to eat?"
"Not hungry." A few seconds later "I need the bathroom." Steve got up, took his crutches and walked away.
Danny went to the kitchen and made himself busy with preparing some food.
When Steve returned a few minutes later, he asked "What are you doing?"
"Preparing something to eat."
"I said I'm not hungry."
"Who said this is for you? I am hungry and if you don't mind, I like to eat something."
Steve squinted his eyes and looked at Danny.
"What?" Danny asked.
"I can't walk but I'm not stupid, Danny."
"Never said that."
"I know."
"Then what do you mean?"
"This is way too much for you to eat."
"I know. But I also know that you will be hungry later and I don't want to start over preparing food. I eat a snack now and if you are hungry, I'll put the dish in the oven and we can have dinner together. Most likely after you had a nap."
"What nap?"
"I am not stupid either, Steven! I know what therapy costs you even if you are not ding that much yet. You can barely keep your eyes open which tells me you didn't get any kind of shut eye after PT."
Steve nodded.
"Yeah. You are right and I am sorry."
"What for? Thinking I am stupid?"
"I don't think you are stupid. You are way too smart for me. And no, I am sorry because I was such a grumpy. Nothing of this is your fault and I am treating you like it is, taking out my frustration on you."
"It's okay. You…"
"No, it is not."
They sat in silence for a few seconds before Danny asked "Shall I call Grace off tomorrow?"
"No!" Steve burst out. "No, we've planned this for weeks. She is excited. I don't want to disappoint her."
"If you are not up for it, she'll understand. She's a big girl now."
"She is. She is a great kid and…and I need her. She brings sunshine to this place. I can use that."
"Uncle Steve!" Grace called entering the front door. "I've missed you. Does this still hurt?" she pointed at Steve's leg.
"Just a bit," he answered. "But it is way better now that you are here." He smiled at her.
"That is good. Because Josie – she is a friend of mine – had broken just her leg last year and she said it had hurt a lot for a long time."
"Hope she is better now." Steve answered with a serious voice.
"Yes, she is playing soccer again. Can…can we go swimming together when you are better?" Grace asked almost pleadingly.
It took Steve a moment to react then he said "Yews. Yes, Grace, we can." The smile he gave her didn't reach his eyes completely – not because he didn't want to, in fact he loved to – but because he knew it would still take a long time. Grace didn't seem to notice. She just hugged him and said "I love you uncle Steve. Can't wait for the day to come."
'Me neither,' Steve thought but said "I love you too Grace."
They had a great weekend together, including a lot of fun and laughter.
On both evenings Steve was spent and he fell asleep as soon as his head had hit the pillow but he was also happy because these two days had brought back his spirit. He hadn't lied when he had told Danny that he needed Grace.
Despite her age she knew exactly what to do or say to make him feel better – just like her dad.