CHAPTER 17

Believe Again

Uranohoshi High School,
Numazu, Shizuoka Prefecture,
March 11

When Hanamaru was feeling blue, she buried herself in books. Books soothed her mind and eased her tension. She had been working as a library receptionist since she enrolled at Uranohoshi. It was like a safe haven from all the ills and troubles of the world.

Thus Chika knew how to find Hanamaru when she didn't want to be found.

"Maru-chan, there is something we need to talk about," Chika said as she rested her hands on the library counter. "I couldn't help but notice that you have not been yourself. It troubles me to see you feeling depressed. We are closing in to Love Live Finals and we need all members to perform at the very top level. But most importantly, you are my friend, and I am deeply concerned about you."

"I am alright, zura," Hanamaru said halfheartedly.

"Maru-chan, I can only guess that this is about the chef student," Chika pushed through. "If that's the case, then I just have to say that you are too good for him. He does not deserve you. You are a wonderful flower that blossoms in the first day of spring. Am I correct? If not, please talk to me about your situation. I'm here for you."

Hanamaru looked up at Chika. "Do you think I'm pretty, zura?"

"Maru-chan, you are the prettiest among us. You maybe the prettiest among all students of Uranohoshi. When you visited UA a few months back, many Pro Hero students were charmed by your beauty. And when you lead us on Mitaiken Horizon at the cruise ship, you lit up the stage with your dancing and singing. The audience was hypnotized by your grace. Even I was jealous of the attention they gave you."

"Really?" Hanamaru tried to smile. "Then why didn't he want me, zura?"

"Because he can't appreciate how wonderful human being you really are. Perhaps he is too engrossed in his own image and he can't see you beyond what he wants to see you. Don't worry about him, Maru-chan. It's his loss that he doesn't get to have you, not your loss. He's only one of hundreds of thousands of boys that were infatuated by you. He is not the only one."

Hanamaru smiled for the first time in the last 2 weeks. "I just want to be like you, zura. I want to be loved and happy, zura."

"I know, but don't take any boy that is interested in you. You need a guy that can appreciate you. Someone that will honor you and love you with everything he's got. Don't worry, he will come. Someday. Maybe tomorrow, maybe a year from now, maybe far in the future. But he will come, and when he does, you'll be happy you wait for him. Don't waste your time on chums like this guy."

"How do I know that a guy is the right guy, zura?"

Chika grabbed Hanamaru's hand. "You will know. Trust me, you will know."

Hanamaru's face lit up with increasing spirit. She squeezed Chika's hands and looked at her in the earnest. "Thank you, Chika-chan. You made me feel worthy again, zura. I'm sorry I have let you down, zura. From now on I will practice harder, zura."

"That is good to know, Maru-chan," Chika beamed assuringly. "We need you. Aqours needs you. We can't win Love Live Finals without you. So let's forget about this guy and look beyond the horizon. The limit is only the sky."

"Zura!" Hanamaru replied enthusiastically, drawing attention from other students in the library.

When Chika went to the roof deck, Ruby and Yoshiko were already there. They were conversing almost inaudibly, but from their body language Chika could guess what they were talking about. Their shoulder slumped, their eyes were clouded, their mouths curved downward. Even Yohiko's Yohane persona seemed to shy away from brightening up their day, like it used to whenever Aqours needed a relief from the unforgiving schedule of Love Live. Chika could feel their negative energy from the stairs.

"Ruby-chan, Yoshiko-chan," she sat in front of them. "I am sorry I have not talked a lot with you. It seems everybody is distracted with personal problems. I'm having a personal problem too, and I shouldn't have let it affect my performance for Love Live Finals, but sometimes I can't help it. I should have spent more time with you guys, and maybe sharing my burden with you so you can help me carry it. And I hope you can share your burden with me too, so I can share the load with you."

Ruby looked up and threw a sad look at Chika. "Do you think we can win, Chika-chan?"

"Of course! Everybody has the same chance to win Love Live!"

"There are strong competitors, idol groups that had experience performing in international level. Groups like Yon*Machi. They are big in Canada. We don't have that much experience."

"So what? We try our best, and if we don't win, then so be it. Is winning our only motivation to compete at Love Live Finals? Are our careers over if we don't win?"

"But Chika-chan, don't you want to win?" Yoshiko said.

"I do. I do very much. But winning is not the end of all ends. Winning is just a door to an easier path toward success. If we don't win, we'll take another door to a different path. The path may be a lot harder, but if we give our hearts and put our mind to it, nothing is impossible."

"I don't understand," Ruby shot a dubious look at Chika. "You're pushing us hard, making us practice everyday for several hours, for a shot at Love Live Finals. And now you're saying you don't care if you win or lose?"

"Ruby-chan, I want to win. I really, really want to win. But sometimes we just can't get what we want, no matter how hard we try. The past few weeks, I learnt that even if we tried our best, sometimes we just didn't get it. But that doesn't mean we just give up. We keep trying. And the most important thing is we do it together with our friends. People that are close to our hearts. It is the journey, not the end result, that define our friendship. Winning or not, I am happy that I go through this journey with you."

Ruby and Yoshiko traded look, not exactly sure what Chika was implying. But in the end they rose and assumed ready position. "Well, then. What are we waiting for? Let's practice!"

Chika smiled and rose to join them.

Just before the practice started, when Aqours members stretched and warmed up, Chika pulled Riko aside.

"Riko-chan, I need to talk to you," Chika said.

"I know, I know, I'm losing my focus, but I'm trying as hard as I can," Riko said as if she knew what Chika was going to say. "I have talked to Kanan, Mari, and Dia. They have apologized for their behavior, and I apologized for my behavior the other day. There is no hard feeling between us. We are going to do the best as we can to win Love Live."

"Riko-chan, this has nothing to do with Love Live," Chika looked at Riko morosely. "You know that we have a bigger problem than winning Love Live."

Riko let out an exasperating sigh. "What would you do if you were me, Chika-chan?"

"I would tell him that I really appreciated his gesture, giving me lots of gifts and everything. But I understood that he did not do it out of love; it was obsession. I would come out and tell him who I really was, so he understood that we could not be together. And if he didn't listen, I would tell him that I would go to the police. He had to understand that what he did was wrong. He hurt people. He is a Pro Hero student. He is the guy that supposed to defend people from acts like this."

"I do not want to this," Riko buried her face in her palm.

"Riko-chan, this has to stop." Chika leaned back against the wall. "I'm sorry to have to put you into this, but this has to stop. If you don't want to do this, I will do it for you, so he's angry at me, not you."

Riko shot up. Her body tensed. "I will never let you sacrifice yourself for me!"

"I'm your friend. I should've done this long time ago, before Yoarashi-san started hurting people."

"Chika-chan, he's a big, strong, violent guy. At least wait until Yosetsu-san can come here and defend you, if Yoarashi loses his mind."

But Chika shook her head. "Love Live Finals is in a week. If we don't stop him now, he's going to do it again at Akiba Dome. A lot more people will get hurt." She grabbed Riko's hand. "I'll be alright. I can ask some of Yosetsu's friends to accompany me, if you're concerned about my safety."

Riko squeezed Chika's hand for a long time. In the end she straightened her posture. "Alright. I'll do it."

"Let's do it in my place," Chika suggested. "At least we do it in a public place."

"Chika-chan…"

"A lot of times people refrain from doing mischief when there are other people around. We can do it in the lobby of my ryokan, so he can see a lot of guests. My Dad can be pretty intimidating too, if the situation demands it."

Riko turned around and pulled Chika into a warm hug. "You are the best friend I can ever ask, Chika-chan. I am honored to be your friend."

"I am honored too," Chika wrapped her hands around Riko's shoulder. "Now let's practice before the others start wondering what we are doing here."

Takami Ryokan
Numazu, Shizuoka Prefecture,
March 11

After practice, Riko invited Inasa Yoarashi to meet her at Chika's place. Chika made sure that her father was around, out and about in the ryokan to make sure everything ran smoothly. She also enlisted her sister's boyfriend Yuki to stay at the ryokan, although she didn't expect him to be much of an impact. If worse came to worst, You Watanabe was just a phone call away. She instructed You to clear her phone line so she could bring in the 'cavalry' in case Inasa threw tantrum.

Inasa arrived at the ryokan dressing up like high-school student going to a prom. He wore a black suit with matching pants, light blue turtle neck, and shiny shoes. He still wore Shiketsu's trademark hat. He brought with him a thick bouquest of pink roses. He obviously expected Riko to finally accept him as her boyfriend, after months of ceaseless gifts. It broke Riko's heart, knowing that she would have to break his heart in the end. But she had to do what she had to do.

"Riko-chan, I'm so happy you finally embrace our future together," Inasa said as soon as he saw Riko, waiting by the ryokan's front gate. His voice carried throughout the ryokan, even though he was trying to speak softly. "I always know that I will be with the most beautiful member of Aqours…"

"Yoarashi-san, I am honored that you think of me so highly," Riko stopped him before he got too far. She caught a little shock and confusion in Inasa's eyes, and she braced for impact. She glanced back and caught Chika's shadow at the corner of her eyes. Chika had invited her to come inside, but Riko preferred it this way, to minimize damage to Chika's family should Inasa unleash his anger in the worst possible way. "The last couple of months have been uplifting, and part of it is because of your adoration of me. One I don't deserve."

"You deserve everything I did for you," Inasa beamed.

"And I am grateful. But I have to ask you to stop."

"Riko-chan?" Inasa cringed. "You don't like them?"

"I do, so much, but I do not wish to receive them anymore. If you honor me so highly, you will honor my wish."

Inasa took a step back. "I did everything for you!" he started to speak loudly and forcefully.

"I know, I know," Riko started shaking, but she hardened her heart. "But you hurt people. I never want to see other people get hurt, least of all because of me."

"Those jerks deserve what they got!" Inasa growled. "Every bit of it! They are bullies! What they did to Aqours was preposterous! I am a Pro Hero, Riko-chan, and I am trained to vanquish every villain that crosses my path. Yon*Machi are villains that tried to hurt Aqours, and I won't let it happen!"

"They are not villains, Yoarashi-san. They are just arrogant boys."

"Same difference." Inasa stepped forward and put Riko's dainty hands in his. "Don't you worry about Yon*Machi. I'll take care of them and make sure Aqours win Love Live Finals."

"Yoarashi-san, I want to win," Riko braved herself to look deep into Inasa's eyes. "But not this way. I can't look in the mirror for the rest of my life, knowing that I win Love Live not because I'm good, but because the competition is rigged."

Inasa was staggered by Riko's gravity. "Alright, I'll stop, but only because you ask me. You can ask me anything, and I will be here by your side to give it to you."

"Yoarashi-san…" Riko let out an exasperated sigh. "We cannot be together. I don't see you the same way you see me."

"That's because you haven't known me," Inasa said, and for the first time, he sounded desperate. "Give me some time and I prove it to you that you will never find another man like me."

"Yoarashi-san, I'm not attracted to men," Riko bit her lips. It pained her to have to resolve to this, but Inasa had been so obstinate that she had to play her ultimate trump. "I see you as a great friend who is willing to give everything you have for the one you love, and I am honored to have a friend like you. I really do. But I cannot return your affection the way you want me to. I'm just… can't."

"What are you saying?" Inasa didn't expect things to go this way. "You're a… lezbo?"

Riko cringed at Inasa's choice of word. "Now you understand why we can't be together. But I'm here for you if you want to continue our friendship. That is… if you wish to do that…"

Inasa felt his world crumbled, and he lost grip of reality for a few minutes. Everything he built so hard – or so he thought – was a lie, and the thought of striking Riko for lying to him flashed in his mind. Somehow the pure and innocent Riko Sakurauchi now appeared as a manipulating bitch that caused him great pain. But he couldn't do that. When he saw the pain and sorrow in Riko's eyes, he realized she was just as hurt as him. It was him who forced himself into Riko's life. She begged him to stop, many times, without hurting him. She had been protecting him from this pain, and it was him who was asking for punishment. Riko was still pure and innocent.

When he regained control of his body, Inasa took a few steps back, turned around, and staggered away from the ryokan. He dropped the bouquet halfway toward the exit.

"Yoarashi-san…" Riko called for him, but he just kept walking, dragging his feet drunkenly.

Chika ran toward Riko and Riko let go of everything. She buried her face in Chika's shoulder and cried her heart out. Tears came streaming down her eyes and made wet blotches on Chika's shirt.

"It's over… it's over…" Chika stroke Riko's hair.

"I don't want to hurt him…" Riko sobbed heavily.

"I know, I know, but you did the right thing." Chika gently pried Riko off her and led her to go inside. "Come, let's eat ice cream."

But Riko stepped away instead. "I just want to go home." She bowed, then ran to the building next to the ryokan.