Chapter 16
Steve's ankle didn't exactly block anymore but sometimes it felt like something still wasn't right.
His doctor had done another examination and also another scan but everything was in place, no irritation or inflammation or hairline fractures and nothing was pulled and every piece was where it belonged.
Official therapy was own to once a week but Steve was still doing exercises on his own and he had also restarted his swim training. Though he was far away from his former distance, it was at least something. Being able to be out in the ocean again and to swim for twenty to thirty minutes every day settled him, grounded him.
He had joined Danny at two questionings in Kahala but he had felt uneasy the whole time, knowing that a simple questioning could turn into a shootout or a chase in a blink of an eye.
He retreated from that task, telling Danny that it had been great to be by his side again but explaining his reasons why he couldn't go on.
Danny was sad about the decision because he had liked having his partner back but he understood Steve's reasons and when he thought about it, it was the only right decision.
Steve thought the same but remembering his vow to himself from a few weeks back – "I have to put everything into making my foot work again. Everything" – he decided to talk to his therapist about the feeling in his foot.
"What about the check-up?" Roberts asked.
"Doc said everything is fine, nothing to complain."
"Don't get mad but is it possible that you are afraid that another bad injury can happen again or that the block comes back while you have to protect one of your team? I don't want to "accuse" you of anything but is it possible that we are dealing with a psychological issue here?"
"No, we are not!" Steve answered firmly.
"Just think about it. There is no shame in it. I certainly would have that issue. It was a really bad injury and it came out of the blue. I mean in a shootout your are somehow prepared to get shot but what happened to you…"
"It's not that," Steve interrupted.
"Then what is it?"
"It's…," Steve sighed. "No I have to start differently. First, you are right. I am scared…but not about another injury – at least not consciously. There is some truth about the second part though but that fear had always been there – even before the injury - but I can push that aside while in action.
My foot though…it feels good but then there are times where it feels…strange."
"Can you elaborate?"
"It's…it feels like…like something is shifting. No, no…it…it feels…kind of…unstable. Like it is going to twist…but not really twisting." Another sigh. "I am sorry. I don't know how to describe it. I just know it is not there permanently. Just…yeah, sometimes."
"Certain movements? Does it hurt?"
"Not that I know of and no."
"Okay. Come here. Remove our shoes and socks from both feet and lay down on the bench."
While Steve was doing what he had been asked, he said "And I had tried to run a few times in the past few days. It didn't work. It looks like I have forgotten how to do it. I mean the course of movement is the same as going – just faster. But I wasn't able to "push myself up". It felt like I was doing a duck gait."
"We'll see. I want you to relax. I am going to make different movements with your legs. We start with your good side. I want you to tell me when something feels off or hurts."
"What do you expect to find? The scans came back clear."
"Just relax and listen to your body. Close your eyes and concentrate on the feeling in your legs."
"I'm done," Roberts said after a few minutes. "All good?"
"Yeah, fine."
"Okay, starting with the injured leg. Same movements."
The therapist had already moved the leg around for some time when Steve suddenly jerked. Roberts immediately stopped what he was doing while Steve cried out "There it was."
"Did it hurt?"
"No. Just…just this…like it is gonna twist…I don't know."
"Okay. I do it again, just slower. Tell me when it starts and try to describe it. Hey! Relax your leg. You've said it didn't hurt."
"It didn't. It feels "weird" though – uncomfortable."
"I know. But if it doesn't hurt, nothing is going happen."
Roberts bent Steve's knee a few times to loosen his muscles then he did the earlier movement again.
"Stop! There it starts."
"Good. I am going to continue. Tell me when the feeling stops."
He finished the movement without getting an information from his patient.
"I am done. I assume you felt it the whole way?"
"Yes."
"Any chance of a better description?"
"No…twisting…or like I have no support in the joint."
"Good. What if I do this?"
"…No, it's fine."
"Very good. Put your socks and shoes back on."
When Steve was done the therapist said, "now, go into the corner over there. I want you to go straight forward, then turn, then come into my direction, then turn, then go the same way back. Do it about five times."
"Anything?" he asked when Steve was done.
"Yeah, when I turned to come to you. But only three times. The other two were good."
"Not on the way back?"
"No, nothing."
"That means the issue seems to be a right turn. It's barely noticeable but I knew what to look for that's why I did. Your ankle goes just a tad too far outside. That is putting a strain on the whole joint and might indeed feel like twisting."
"So, what now?" Steve asked already seeing himself on crutches again. "Surgery to shorten the ligaments or something like that?"
"No way. Your ligaments are fine." Roberts replied. "I am going to provide you with exercises which are going to strengthen all the muscles responsible for that movement. That gives the ankle more stability.
I am going to write a plan for you. If you train that every day, you should feel the first effects in about a week. You should be good in four to six weeks."
"What about the running? That has something to do with that too?"
"No, I don't think so. You haven't been running for almost a year. And just like learning to walk again, you also need to relearn running. Exercise it a few time a day. It will come back on its own -but please, don't make turns until your ankle has more stability. Running puts more pressure on everything."
The talk with his therapist had given Steve a lot of confidence that everything would finally be over in a few weeks and he could return to full duty.
He shortly wondered why he hadn't thought about telling Roberts about his ankle issues earlier.
'Thought if the doc said I am good but I am not it's my fault or could have been because of my other issue: trusting people and to accept there are people out there who really care.'
Which made him think of Danny.
'Time to make the next calls, write a few things down and finalize everything.'