Sasuke arrived at the door to the apartment, Kakashi standing beside him. He stared at the door contemplating whether to flee the village once again. He was not looking forward to this. Kakashi's stare bore a hole into the side of his head and only served to further aggravate the Uchiha.
"What?" he snapped.
"Are you going to open it?"
Sasuke was suddenly aware of the key being grasped tightly in his hand. He looked at it as if he had no idea how it got there. He forced himself to loosen his grip. He hadn't been listening when Shikamaru gave them both a briefing of their living arrangements. Ordinarily, he was extremely meticulous when it came to missions, even more so in his personal life, but his mind was brimming with thoughts. Being in control of his emotions was very important to the Uchiha, but in light of the recent chain of events he felt himself becoming distant and distracted.
He would be living with Kakashi. A 19-year old Kakashi. A Kakashi who knew nothing of the 4th Great Shinobi war or the Uchiha massacre. A Kakashi who didn't know the truth about Obito. If Kakashi had questions, living with him would make them difficult to avoid.
He snapped back to the present once again and finally unlocked the door.
The door opened to an open-plan kitchen with two large windows opposite the entrance and a sparse living area with a sofa, kotatsu and a couple of cabinets. To the right, a narrow corridor led to two bedrooms and a bathroom. The apartment wasn't large, but it was livable.
He strode over to the other side of the room to draw the curtains and swept through the place to search for any possible breaches in security. No one in the village was privy to the knowledge of Kakashi's condition or his whereabouts, but Sasuke knew that, in a shinobi village, one could never be too cautious.
"Take whichever room you want," he said as he returned to the main living area.
As if acting on orders, Kakashi nodded and swiftly disappeared into one of the rooms and closed the door.
Sasuke noted that this Kakashi might be even less social than he himself. Kakashi- sensei would've quipped an obnoxious joke about them living together and plopped himself down on the couch while reading his precious Icha-Icha. He wouldn't admit that he kind of missed the one-sided banter.
He walked over to the kettle and started to brew some tea. On the bright side, he thought, if it stayed this way, he could avoid the questions for as long as possible.
Barely two hours later, a knock sounded at the door and Sasuke was instantly aware of who it was. Damned dobe can't even stay away for one night. He contemplated ignoring it but the knocking became more insistent.
"Sasuke! Open up! I know you're in there. You too, Kaka-"
"Are you an idiot?" Sasuke hissed as he opened the door and pulled Naruto inside.
"The whole village is going to know he's here!"
Naruto stumbled inside and then raised a sheepish hand to the back of his neck.
"Sorry…" he said guiltily.
Sasuke just sighed and walked over to the kitchen to brew some more tea.
"What do you want?" he asked hotly. Naruto being there was surely a recipe for disaster.
"I was thinking, ya'know," the blond started, kicking off his shoes.
"Don't hurt yourself," the Uchiha shot back.
"Bastard! I have some clothes and supplies and stuff for you and kakashi and I was thinking since you two have been travelling for like two days that you guys would probably want a real meal, I know I would! And I know you like tomato or whatever but I wasn't sure if Kakashi would like this same thing as Sensei so it took me a while to figure out what…"
"Get to the point, usuratonkachi."
"I picked up some stuff from Ichiraku's," Naruto grinned widely as he pulled a bag of ramen out of seemingly nowhere.
Sasuke had been to distracted to even think of food or clothes or the basic necessities to actually live in the apartment. He felt slightly guilty for snapping at Naruto's thoughtfulness. He found himself extremely grateful. He really had missed the blond.
"I see. Thank you, Naruto," he said softly.
The blond smile a small, genuine smile, caught slightly off guard at the praise from the otherwise cold Uchiha.
"Where's sens- Kakashi?"
Sasuke motioned toward the still shut door of Kakashi's room.
"Great," Naruto began knocking on the door, "Yo Kakashi, I brought you
some things!"
Kakashi opened the door, no longer wearing his hitai-ate or shoes. Sasuke was surprised to see that the two were the same height. Kakashi had always been a little bit taller than both Sasuke and Naruto.
"Here are your clothes and stuff. I also got you a pork miso ramen with extra eggplant. You still like eggplant, right?"
Kakashi looked slightly uneasy, but let out an Uchiha-esque grunt of agreement.
"Alright! Let's eat, I'm starving."
The three shinobi sat down to eat their ramen, Naruto rambling all the while.
"…And then Sakura-chan just punched him right in the face! It was perfect," He said with a hearty laugh.
"So Kakashi, what it like living with the bastard?" He asked between sips of water.
"It's only been about two hours," Kakashi replied, void of any intonation.
"Well he can be a dick at times. Most of the time actually, but don't take it personally. That's just the way he is, ya'know," Naruto said with a teasing sigh.
"Idiot," Sasuke said shaking his head.
Kakashi let a out a tiny, barely audible chuckle, much to Naruto's delight.
"Well don't say I didn't warn you! Anyway, how has the journey been, Sasuke? Meet any new people?" Naruto asked then.
"Learning from people, working along side them. It's what I needed." He replied after a bite of his meal.
"Does that mean you're coming back?" Naruto asked, the glint of hope evident in his eyes.
"I don't know yet, Naruto."
The direction of the conversation had inadvertently caused a new, yet still uncomfortable atmosphere in the room. Sasuke wasn't ready to think about that, even after a whole year with that very question in the back of his mind.
"So you really were away from the village for that long?" Kakashi inquired, surprising both Naruto and Sasuke. The silver-haired jonin hadn't spoken unless spoken to directly, but Sasuke had noticed how the man had been silently and intently observing their dynamic.
Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a glance. They both weren't sure about how much information to give.
"Yes," Sasuke said carefully. "What I told you wasn't a lie. I was away for a long time and some of the details are classified."
"But it wasn't a mission," Kakashi said rather than asked, seeming to piece together a theory with the little information he had learned about Sasuke's time away from Konoha.
"No. It wasn't a mission."
"I see."
The implications of the statement created a sharp tension in the room.
"Thank you for the food, Naruto," Kakashi said breaking the silence and easing some of the tension.
"Uh, right! No problem. I should probably get going, anyway. I've got to report to Baa-chan first thing tomorrow," Naruto replied as he strode over to the door. "Good night, Kakashi. Sasuke." And with that he was gone.
So the idiot has grown up a little, Sasuke thought, staring at the place Naruto had just left. Even so, it was unlike Naruto to avoid uncomfortable situations such as this. Sasuke had known that the blond shared a special, almost familial bond with their Sensei and it was clear to see the way this ordeal was affecting him.
Kakashi started gathering their dishes and took them to the sink, Sasuke rising to do the same.
"He's… something," Kakashi said as they began washing up, obviously wanting to leave their previous conversation behind.
"Yeah," Sasuke replied with a barely noticeable smile.
"It was him. He's the friend who beat some sense into you?"
"The very same one," Sasuke replied.
"He looks so much like…" Kakashi stopped himself from finishing the sentence.
"I'm going to get some rest. Goodnight… Sasuke-san," he said instead.
"Just Sasuke is fine. Good night, Kakashi."
Kakashi tried to sleep, he really did. But his brain was overloaded with new information.
Naruto showing up was the last thing he needed. Flashes of a hauntingly familiar shade of blue appeared every time he closed his eyes. The relationship between Sasuke and Naruto reminded him too much of his rivalry with Obito. All the warm feelings he experienced while observing Team 7 throughout the day had twisted into a hot guilt unfurling in his gut.
His heart ached for all the things he once had. He felt that, by being part of this new team, he was betraying those he had lost. It was like his older self had replaced them.
He sat up in his bed. He needed to see them. He needed to apologize. He needed to go to the one place he knew would bring him some solace.
He shook off the blankets and grabbed the shoes and black cloak he had worn earlier that day. With a rustle of leaves he stole into the unforgiving night.
The air was biting and thick with mist.
Kakashi ran his thumb over the names engraved in the memorial stone. Ever since Obito's death he had found himself coming here more and more often, for longer periods of time and even more still after Minato's death. He prioritized these daily visits over anything and everything, arriving later and later to appointments and meetings. It was as close as he could come to seeing his precious people again. Now, seeing their names still engraved in the stone only served to fuel his guilt. How could he have lived so long when their lives were stolen so early from them? He didn't deserve it. He stood in somber silence for a while before speaking.
"Sensei, Kushina... I shouldn't have been worthy of teaching your son. 'Friend-killer Kakashi'. What a disappointment it must be."
"Obito, Rin. I can't help but feel like I let you down. I don't know if the older me has been coming here to visit. I hope he has. I'd never forgive myself if…"
The snapping of a twig in the bushes immediately drew Kakashi's attention.
He took a defensive pose only to relax when Sasuke emerged from the shadows.
Kakashi turned his back to the Uchiha, facing the stone once again.
"He comes here everyday," Sasuke said after some time.
"Why did you follow me?" Kakashi growled without looking back.
"Well, I'm the one who's supposed to be keeping you in check. Sneaking off in the middle of the night like this.. It isn't exactly reassuring," Sasuke replied.
"Where else would I go? Everyone I've ever loved is here, buried in the dirt," Kakashi spat venomously.
"Kakashi, you haven't betrayed them. You moved on. You still love them and they live on in your heart. The living must continue to live," He said softening his tone.
"And what would you know about loss, Uchiha?" He swung around to face Sasuke.
"More than I'd like to," Sasuke replied heavily.
"Then you should understand! All of this, it won't last. I should never have allowed myself to," Kakashi paused as he tried to calm the quiver in his voice.
"When I get close to people they die, Sasuke," he said eventually.
"Kakashi," Sasuke started.
"I can't do this right now. I'm going back," and with that Kakashi was gone.
Sasuke had awoken to the sound of a window being opened. He'd been a light sleeper ever since the massacre. He had known Kakashi wouldn't leave the village, but he had to admit to himself that he was slightly worried. He couldn't have let the man go off on his own with that seal still plastered on his neck. Anything could have happened. So he threw on his cloak and followed him to the memorial.
Now he stood at the stone cursing himself for that decision. He didn't want to get involved but it was his responsibility.
He had never seen the man show so much emotion before, not even after finding out about Obito during the war.
The similarities between them were all too clear now. Kakashi's defensiveness and tendency to make himself an outsider… Sasuke knew it all to well. It reminded him of all those years ago when Kakashi had tried to get him to give up on his revenge. Except now, their roles were reversed and Sasuke was the one trying to get through to Kakashi and Sasuke wasn't exactly the best at coming to terms with his feelings.
If Kakashi was as stubborn as Sasuke, he doubted he'd be able to get through to the man.
And if he was going to react this badly to team 7, how could he handle the truth about the massacre, let alone Obito?