Push Comes to Shove
Sayori sat on the floor, using her box of crayons to draw a happy picture of a sunny meadow. The yellow sun in the top corner of the page even had a smiley face on it. Sayori had managed to regain some of her bubbly, cheery self after she had dozed off while listening to Yuri read to her. As for Yuri, she was still reading, though not aloud. Natsuki sat at another desk, reading the volume of Parfait Girls that she had been reading with Sayori earlier. Monika had gone back to the computer lab to try to do more research. At least that's what she had told Yuri and Natsuki anyway.
Setting down her blue crayon, Sayori looked at her finished drawing with a small smile of glee. It depicted a stick figure Sayori standing in a flowery meadow, holding a bouquet of hand-picked flowers. To anyone else, the drawing was nothing but cute and happy. Though Sayori herself knew the double meaning behind it. The completion of the picture brought her the freeing feeling of self-expression that she got when she wrote poetry. She had already tried writing earlier as a means to communicate with Monika. Though with her newfound lack of advanced muscle control, it was borderline impossible for her to even hold a pencil correctly, let alone write legible words. Drawing was much simpler. Sure, it required a similar amount of muscle control as writing, but there was less of a consequence for not being able to hold a crayon correctly. She could still color with crayons despite holding them with her fist like most little kids do. Having an idea for another picture, Sayori reached for a new sheet of paper. Upon retrieving it and a yellow crayon, she began to work on her new idea.
"I'm gonna draw the beach!" Sayori smiled to herself as she thought this. She began scribbling on the bottom half of the paper, drawing the sand. "I wish we could go to the beach. It'd be so fun to build a sand castle! Then we'd all eat ice cream afterwards!" Sayori couldn't help but let out a tiny giggle at this thought. The toddler continued to draw as she let her mind conjure many thoughts regarding beaches, sand castles, and most of all, ice cream. As she drew though, she started to notice that it was becoming increasingly harder to focus on the task. Not because of her wild running imagination though. She was used to that. It was because it was becoming harder and harder to sit still. A nagging feeling grabbed at her gut and she felt as if her stomach was doing summersaults. She squirmed a bit at this feeling, finding it rather uncomfortable.
"S-Suddenly ice cream doesn't sound so good." She thought, dropping the crayon she was holding and hugging her arms around her tummy. It only got worse though, and soon Sayori found herself having to tense her body up a bit just to dampen the feelings of discomfort. Surprisingly, this seemed to help the feeling go away slightly. So naturally, Sayori kept her body tensed up as much as needed, and after just a few seconds the uncomfortable feeling slowly faded. Sayori let out a small sigh of relief at this as she shifted so that she could retrieve the crayon she had dropped moments before. However, that's when she realized the new situation that she had unknowingly just put herself into. Upon shifting around, Sayori came to the realization that the diaper around her waist was no longer clean. "I-I… I-I didn't just do that…did I?" Her face became a bit pale, all except for her cheeks which displayed her embarrassment through a bright blush. Without thinking, Sayori hugged her knees to her chest, curling into a little ball as a means to hide from what she had done.
"I can't do anything right…" She thought to herself. She pinched her nose while still remaining curled up. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to disappear. If by any means it meant that she could avoid making her friends put up with babysitting her, then she wanted it. For what seemed like the thousandth time that day, Sayori's mind was once again taken over by her negative thoughts. Why was it so hard to control them in her younger state? When she was her normal age, she could easily wear a smile over any insecurities that she felt during the school day. But in this state, she was defenseless against the torrent of self-loathing that she was bombarded with. "I'm worthless…" She thought. "I've just been a burden to the literature club all this time. Everyone's just had to put up with me and it's all my fault for being so useless!" Sayori could feel a tightening in her throat.
Having just finished another chapter, Yuri sighed in satisfaction. There was truly nothing like tea and a good book. Having a fantasy world to lose yourself in for a little bit was one of the best feelings. She took in a breath as she was about to start the next chapter, however when she did an unpleasant smell yanked her out of her tranquility. Yuri's nose wrinkled at the sudden, assaulting odor, and she sat up in her desk. She glanced around a bit in slight confusion.
"Blegh, what is that? I'm opening a window," Natsuki scoffed, pinching her nose. Sayori felt her heart sink when she heard this comment.
"Y-You noticed it too then," Yuri said, looking in Natsuki's direction. Natsuki had gotten up from her desk and was heading over to the classroom windows. However, she suddenly stopped in her tracks when she noticed Sayori curled up against the wall. After realizing the source of the smell, Natsuki glanced over at Yuri, a small look of panic on her face. Confused, Yuri looked over to Sayori. The toddler was curled up; her diaper quite visible due to how she was hugging her knees to her chest. Yuri's face went a bit pale as she put two and two together. "O-Oh. Um…" Yuri looked to Natsuki for help. Natsuki made her way to Yuri and started whispering with her, still looking anxious. Neither one of the girls were really eager about what had to be done.
"W-Well at least like, you know, check her!" Natsuki hissed. "I-It might not even be that! We might just be freaking out over nothing!" Yuri thought for a moment before she gave a hesitant nod. Though before either of them could do anything, Sayori started to sniffle a bit. Yuri glanced over to the toddler once again, getting a saddened frown at the sight. Sayori, the Literature Club's own personal ball of sunshine, was now sitting on the floor in tears. Yuri gazed down at her desk as she recalled her first time feeling welcome in the literature club. The first time she truly felt welcome that is… Yuri had always worried about how people treated her. Sure, she had accepted that she wasn't the most 'normal' person. But it was this mindset that often led her to feel as though everyone pitied her. She remembered how Sayori taking interest in Duskbell felt like an act of pity at first. She recalled how Sayori comforted her when she broke down trying to explain her feelings.
Yuri stood without a word. She set her open book on her desk, page side down as a quick means to mark the page she was on. Natsuki watched as Yuri made her way over to where Sayori was curled up. After taking a small breath to collect herself, Yuri knelt down and carefully scooped Sayori up, pulling her into a gentle hug. She nearly gagged upon doing this, as she wasn't expecting the smell to get even worse. Though she kept her composure for the sake of Sayori's emotions. Sayori let out a choked hiccup upon being picked up, and she immediately hid her face in her friend's shoulder. Yuri's body was comfortingly warm. Sayori noticed that her blazer smelled of jasmine, and her long purple hair felt very soft and well cared for. Sayori recalled how she always found Yuri's hair to be pretty. She herself had had long hair when she was younger. But it became so hard to manage as she got older due to her depression worsening, so she cut it short. Which is why she admired Yuri's ability to keep her long hair looking nice. Though, as Sayori settled into her friend's arms, her emotions started to pick back up. Yuri shouldn't have to do this; it just wasn't fair to her. The toddler hid her face a bit more into Yuri's shoulder as she started sniffling once more. Yuri's expression filled with sorrow as she could feel her friend shaking a bit in her arms.
"I-It's okay," Yuri whispered. Sayori's whirlwind of thoughts quieted just a bit at hearing these words. "It's okay," Yuri said again. Natsuki watched in surprise as the scene in front of her unfolded. Though she couldn't help but get a faint smile at Yuri's attempt to comfort Sayori. "I p-promise, it's okay," Yuri whispered. "You're in a safe, comforting space." As she spoke, Yuri made sure to keep a calm, collected composure. She kept her breathing slow and steady. "You've done nothing wrong; I promise."
Sayori kept her face hidden in Yuri's shoulder as she listened to her voice. Her shaking had diminished, and she found herself starting to mimic Yuri's slow breathing pattern. Yuri couldn't help but get a faint smile. She could feel Sayori's pulse slowing down. Eventually, Sayori shifted so that she could rest her head over Yuri's shoulder. When she did this, she saw Natsuki, who had moved behind Yuri. Seeing Sayori's adorable blue eyes stained with tears struck a small chord of sadness in Natsuki. Nevertheless, she let out a huffed sigh of feigned annoyance before she reached up and gave Sayori's nose a gentle boop with her finger. Sayori felt a small burst of laughter suddenly bubble up in response to this, and she let out a tiny, giggly squeal. Natsuki couldn't help but chuckle at this, getting a confident smile at her accomplishment. Yuri let out a faint giggle as well, smiling calmly. Though she hid it, she was actually quite surprised by herself and Natsuki's ability to calm Sayori. Sure, she had helped Natsuki with a couple panic attacks before, but those were different… right? Yuri shook her head a bit, refocusing on the task at hand. Now that Sayori was mostly calm, Yuri hesitantly lifted the back of the toddler's skirt to see if the inevitable was true. She was already sure that the source of the offending smell was Sayori's diaper, but a part of her brain didn't want to believe it. Sayori's smile vanished as she felt her skirt being lifted. The toddler gave a small whine of shame as she realized what Yuri was doing. Seeing this, Natsuki did all she could think of. In a flash the pink haired tsundere puffed out her cheeks and held her hands up at the sides of her head to make a funny face at her friend. All the while she prayed that Yuri couldn't see what she was doing. Natsuki knew she'd never hear the end of it if she did. Once again, Sayori felt another wave of glee at seeing Natsuki make this face. She let out a squeal of giggles once again, forgetting about Yuri checking the state of her padding. Meanwhile Yuri's suspicion was fully confirmed by the sight of Sayori's faintly saggy diaper.
"Sh-She… She needs changed…" She mumbled.
"A-Alright. Well n-no need to make a big deal about it or anything r-right?" Natsuki grabbed the bag of supplies. "H-Here, Monika left us the bag, so…" She walked over to the front desk and plopped the bag onto it. She opened it and rummaged around in it before she pulled out the cherry pattered mat that Monika had used earlier. "Here, I think this is a mat we can change her on. R-Right?" Yuri walked over to the front desk of the classroom, still holding Sayori, who was blushing quite a bit at the topic her friends were discussing.
"Yes, that's a changing mat," Yuri said. With that she gently laid Sayori onto the mat. She then looked to Natsuki and took a breath. "I-I'm not exactly sure how to do this, so I-I would appreciate it greatly if you would lend me a hand." Natsuki just turned her head away and scoffed.
"I was going to help anyway, jeez," she replied, looking a bit away from Yuri with her signature look of disapproval. She dug through the bag some more, eventually pulling out a container of wipes, a bottle of powder, and a new diaper. "I think that's all we need right?" Though before Yuri could reply, Natsuki suddenly pulled a blue pacifier out of the bag as well. "Huh, there's even a binky in here." She couldn't help but smile at the little cow design that was on the front of it. "It's got a picture of a cow on it."
"Her diaper has the same design," Yuri replied, having already moved Sayori's skirt up so that she could be changed. Sayori's cheeks were nearly as red as the bow in her hair as she listened to her friends discuss the repeating theme of Mr. Cow on all of the things that they pulled from the supply bag. As if her embarrassment couldn't get any worse, the pacifier was suddenly popped into her mouth by Natsuki. And though Sayori would have immediately spit it out, she didn't want to make this situation any more difficult for her friends. It was bad enough she was already making them do this much…
Natsuki couldn't help but aww at the sight of her toddlerfied friend sucking on the pacifier. Its blue color perfectly matched Sayori's eyes, and the matching cow design on both the pacifier and her diaper made it even more fitting. Sayori pouted a bit behind the pacifier in response to Natsuki's gawking.
"Meanie…" She thought, though she was mostly joking. Yuri couldn't help but chuckle.
"It's quite ironic that you're now the one calling Sayori cute," she said, before getting a sly grin. Natsuki scowled at this comment.
"Hey! I'm not cute!" She snapped. Yuri giggled quietly as Natsuki folded her arms with her signature scowl. Sayori couldn't help but crack a smile at this exchange. For just a second things felt normal. She forgot about being a toddler. She forgot about her embarrassment. She even forgot about the dirty diaper around her waist. Just being here and watching her friends interacting how they would on any other day felt nice. It was just the way things always were, and that's how Sayori liked it.
Yuri took in a breath before looking down at Sayori. "A-Alright, let's try to figure this out…" She then glanced to Natsuki who was unfolding the clean diaper in preparation. "Okay… um… After I undo the diaper, c-could you hold her legs up please?" Natsuki gave a nod in response. Sayori watched in embarrassment as Yuri undid the tapes of her diaper before pulling the front of it down. Upon doing this, Yuri's expression changed to that of disgust. She turned her head to the side in order to suppress a small gag as the smell became worse. Natsuki stuck out her tongue as her nose wrinkled.
"J-Jeez, that's really bad," she coughed.
"I-I'm really, really sorry…" Sayori thought, wishing she could apologize to her friends.
"L-Lift her legs up please if you would," Yuri said, fighting the urge to gag once again.
"I-I was getting to that! Have a little patience!" Natsuki said. The pink haired girl promptly used one hand to pinch her nose before using the other to hesitantly grab Sayori's ankles. She carefully lifted her legs up a bit.
"U-Um, a bit more please," Yuri said. Sayori could see that she looked pretty nervous. To be fair, even Monika had struggled a bit when she had changed Sayori earlier. And that was only a wet diaper. Sayori's view of Yuri was soon obstructed by the blue tips of her own school shoes as Natsuki held her legs up a bit more. She wanted nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare situation. She didn't want her friends to have to do this. She didn't want anyone to have to do this. She didn't want anyone to care. She felt fresh tears beginning to well up in her eyes, though she fought against the urge to cry. Crying would only make the situation worse. Despite her best efforts though, Sayori couldn't keep a couple tears from trailing down her cheeks as she felt the unpleasant coldness of the wipes against her bottom. That and the uncomfortable look of hesitation on Yuri's face. The weight of it all was so hard for Sayori to suppress in her younger state.
Having almost finished cleaning Sayori up, Yuri took notice of the tears that were running down her friend's face. She bit her lip nervously, speeding up what she was doing from the pressure she felt. Natsuki was also quick to notice Sayori's tears. Taking her hand off of her nose, the pink haired girl tried to give her sniffling friend a smile to try to calm her a bit. Sayori only felt worse as she realized that the cause of her friends' rising stress was the fact that she couldn't keep her emotions under control. This made her feel even more upset…
"Th-There…" Yuri said, with a small sigh of relief. She had finally finished getting Sayori cleaned up. The gross part was over with at least. She had set the used diaper a bit to the side, placing the used wipes in it as she went. She retrieved the clean diaper that Natsuki had unfolded earlier and she carefully slid it under Sayori's bottom. She picked up the bottle of baby powder just as Sayori let out a choked hiccup. Her blue eyes were now slightly red from her tears, and she whimpered loudly from behind the pacifier in her mouth. She had created a horrible cycle. The worse her emotions got, the less she could hold them back. The less she could hold them back, the more stressed she made her friends. And the more stressed she made her friends, the worse her emotions got. The toddler's lip quivered from behind her pacifier as she looked at her friends. Seeing this, Natsuki tried to puff out her cheeks and cross her eyes to make a funny face at Sayori. Though this time she didn't care whether or not Yuri saw. Sayori didn't so much as crack a smile. So many thoughts and worries crowded her mind at once. She could feel them building up to the point where she couldn't fight them any longer. And before she even knew it, she had broken down into a fit of wailing. The pacifier fell from Sayori's mouth as the toddler cried out loudly. Her arms and legs flailed as she started to kick and squirm from her emotional meltdown.
"Gyah!" Natsuki squeaked, as her hands were suddenly kicked away from Sayori's ankles. Yuri jumped at Sayori's sudden outburst. She frantically tried to get the clean diaper taped securely around Sayori's waist. Though with her shaking hands, Yuri found herself a bit too overwhelmed to finish the job. "Ugh let me do it!" Natsuki snapped, nudging Yuri out of the way. Natsuki then began to quickly tape the clean diaper around Sayori's waist. It proved to be a pretty difficult task with Sayori kicking her legs occasionally. Though after a bit of trying, Natsuki finally managed to do it. Were the tapes done pretty sloppily? Sure. Regardless, Natsuki was proud of her handiwork.
"There, easy," she said. "That's what it means to be a pro."
"But you've never even done this before…" Yuri stated. Natsuki scoffed at this.
"Maybe you're just mad that I could do it better than you could!" She quipped. Yuri let out a huffed sigh at this.
"May I remind you of who did the dirty work?" Natsuki just rolled her eyes. Sayori had managed to calm down a tiny bit during this exchange. And although she wasn't kicking and wailing anymore, tears still streamed down her cheeks. Natsuki carefully picked Sayori up and went to pull her into a small hug. However, upon Sayori being picked up, the diaper around her waist slid down to her ankles, being taped up a bit too loosely. Yuri couldn't help but giggle at this, earning a pouty scowl from Natsuki. Seeing her friends immediately go back to their normal antics was a slightly comforting sight for Sayori. Slowly but surely, she felt her heart beat slow back down, and a wave of exhaustion suddenly washed over her.
"I forgot how exhausted I get after I cry…" She thought. A growl then came from the toddler's stomach. "And hungry."