Small Mistakes Leave the Biggest Scars
Yuri shakily made her way back to the clubroom. Ever since her sudden encounter with Monika in the restroom, she just couldn't get her heart to stop pounding. A part of her wished she had just stayed in the bathroom and taken another moment to calm back down. Though deep down she knew that any more time to herself would have tempted her shameful urge once more.
"In four, out four," Yuri thought to herself, as she fruitlessly tried to control her breathing. But her vitals refused to listen, as no matter what she did her heart continued its marathon. Had Monika found out about her habit? She had to have right? What else could explain why Monika had seemed so tense? Yuri's mind practically spun as she slowly took a seat at one of the desks in the clubroom. Her lavender eyes seemed to glaze over as she stared off into space, and Natsuki could've sworn she could see the taller girl rocking back and forth in her seat just a bit.
"H-Hey, uh… Y-You good?" Natsuki asked, a small look of concern in her eyes. Sure, Yuri was always a bit of a nervous wreck regardless of the situation, but it was never this bad during club time. The shy girl's light skin was somehow even paler, and her eyes were slightly widened as if she had seen a ghost. It was only when Yuri hadn't even acknowledged Natsuki's initial question that the pinkette spoke up once more, albeit a little louder this time. "Y-Yuri?"
Yuri's body physically shook as she was startled to attention, and she looked over at her friend. Even Sayori noticed how odd Yuri was behaving, as the toddler's face held a look of grave concern as she looked at her friend with worry. Yuri bit her lip shakily, and without a word she got up from her desk. She just needed to focus. She needed to calm down. In four, out four. That's all it really was, right?
"H-Hey, where are you goi-" Natsuki was cut off.
"N-Natsuki p-please!" Yuri exclaimed, feeling her cheeks redden from her raise in volume. Her heart only beat faster. She noticed Natsuki's magenta eyes widen just a bit, and the pink haired girl seemed to recoil in surprise. "I-I-I j-just need a m-moment to myself. I-I'm going to the restroom..." And without another word, Yuri left the classroom.
"Tender Loving Care…?" Monika reread the title aloud for what felt like the fourth time. Her emerald eyes held a bewildered look in them as she rubbed her temples. She couldn't tell if this was the work of someone with a more 'exotic' fetish, or if it was the work of someone who had nothing better to do with their life. Regardless, the club president felt a small sense of relief in knowing that her suspicions of what was going on were now fully confirmed. Over the course of… however long it had been, the Literature Club members had been subjected to the effects of a pretty bizarre game mod.
After having a brief episode of self-doubt after her encounter with Yuri, Monika had decided to check back on the game files to see if anything else had changed. And change it certainly had, as the first thing Monika had noticed was that she was now able to open the troubleshooting file that had been added in earlier.
The file itself, labeled 'tlc_troubleshoot. txt,' held a number of critiques and notes regarding a mod someone was making for the game. This was where Monika had learned that 'tlc' was an abbreviation of the mod's title: Tender Loving Care. Below the title was a list of notes that were organized according to what they were addressing. Monika let out a huffed sigh before she started reading through the first section of notes, which addressed Sayori:
. No occurring issues in regards to general game modifications
. No noticeable issues when moving .chr file to a new folder
. Physical age modifier runs flawlessly
. Possible addition of a mental age modifier
. Character trait modifier successfully mimics original .chr file traits
Monika took a moment to process all of this. From what she gathered, the modifications that applied to Sayori consisted of the initial age modifier and some kind of modifier for her character traits. Though what concerned the club president the most was the possible add in of a mental age modifier. Sure, Sayori couldn't really walk or talk, but Monika knew that the vice president still possessed her adult mind. An addition like the one mentioned would result in that being taken away too. Monika clenched her jaw in disapproval as she started to read through the next section of notes. This section regarded Natsuki:
. No occurring issues in regards to general game modifications
. No noticeable issues when moving .chr file to a new folder
Monika's brow rose after reading the last note. Had they moved Natsuki's character file? The club president dragged the page of notes to the side so that she could once again interact with the game's files. She hastily double clicked on the folder containing the character files, and she practically felt her heart sink to her stomach. There, underneath the folder that currently made up Sayori's character files, were two more similar looking folders; named 'natsuki. chr' and 'yuri. chr' respectively. Though the fear gripping Monika's chest loosened slightly as she found that Natsuki's folder contained nothing but her original .chr file. Monika gave a small sigh of relief. There weren't any modifications yet. At least that's how it looked. The club president turned her attention back to the notes page and she started reading through Yuri's section:
. No occurring issues in regards to general game modifications
. No noticeable issues when moving .chr file to a new folder
. Extra zero in 'anxiety' variable – trait modifier test script (fix asap!)
Without missing a beat, Monika clicked her way back to the character folders and opened up Yuri's. Sure enough, there was not one, but two files within it. Yuri's .chr file, and another file that was titled 'traitmod_test. rpa.' Without a moment to think, Monika double clicked on the file in an attempt to view it. To her surprise, it opened…
"M-Monika?" A voice called into the computer lab, causing the club president to nearly jump from her seat. Looking up, Monika saw Natsuki walking towards her where she sat.
"Oh, Natsuki. I-I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. I-Is there something you nee-" but Monika's sentence was cut off.
"I-It's Yuri," Natsuki said. Her voice came across as nervous, which made Monika even more concerned. "Sh-She's uh… Sh-She's really shaken up over something and… I-I'm uh… w-worried about her…" Natsuki's voice grew quiet as she mentioned this last part. She bit her lip as she avoided Monika's gaze. "L-Like she won't even talk to me about it."
"Alright," Monika replied, trying to sound calm. "Maybe I'll try talking to her to try to figure out what's up." As she said this, Monika nearly choked on her own words as her eyes scanned across the open trait modifier file on her computer. It was cluttered with many set variables that were linked to many series of if/then commands. Though the one that had set off the alarm bells in Monika's head was the command that set the amount of anxiety poor Yuri could be subjected to at any given moment. While most of the other trait variable levels were set with values like 5, 7, or 15, the number 100 stood out like a sore thumb next to the anxiety trait. "An extra zero…" Monika thought, realizing that this was what the notes had implied. Monika exited out of the trait modifier file and closed her laptop without a second thought, trying to keep her façade of looking calm as she stood from her chair. "I'll go talk to her. Is she in the clubroom?" Deep down Monika already knew where she'd find the purple haired girl. As she expected, Natsuki shook her head.
"Sh-She mentioned going to the bathroom to recollect her thoughts," the pink haired girl said. With a silent nod, Monika made her way out of the computer lab. It took every bit of inner strength for her not to start running until she was out of Natsuki's sight. She didn't want the tsundere to become even more worried…
Yuri's shoes hurriedly clicked against the tile floor of the bathroom as she rushed into one of the stalls. She closed the door behind her, turning its lock and taking a breath. She reached into the pocket of her blazer without a second thought. The raccoon was practically screaming, chanting at her and egging her on. She knew what it wanted. She knew what she wanted. Her heartbeat echoed in her throat as her fingers gently caressed the cold metal of the pocket knife. She slid it out from her pocket with shaky hands. Her heart pounded in her chest as she slowly pulled the blade open. She could see her lavender eyes gazing back up at her as she studied the reflective metal.
"J-Just… J-Just a l-little bit…" Yuri thought to herself. The timid girl gingerly rolled up her right sleeve with her thumb and forefinger, holding the knife with her remaining three fingers as she did. She bit her lip to suppress a small shudder as she pressed the blade against her forearm. And with that, she fed the wretched raccoon once more.
The process had become far less painful over the course of the few years that Yuri had been partaking in it. The purple haired girl secretly considered herself to be an expert in the matter. Though whether or not she prided herself for it depended on the day. She knew just how much bread to give in order to rid of her racoon acquaintance. It was always temporary though; as the masked urge continued to appear time and time again. There was still a science to it; an element of precision and control. It was this element that Yuri was so fond of to begin with. The rush of adrenaline that came from a threat that was so terrifyingly real, yet completely in her control. It made her feel secure in an otherwise unbearable whirlwind of anxieties. It had become the one thing she could fully control. Yuri always made sure to make clean, semi shallow cuts. If she sliced her bread too thick, it would be nearly impossible to cease the blood flow in a decent amount of time. If she was too careless with her strokes, the wounds would be uneven and would take longer to heal. These were the thoughts that swarmed the dandere's head as her shaky exhales hissed through clenched teeth.
Yuri shifted so that she held her arm above the toilet, watching as the first drop of blood fell. The tall girl felt entranced by how the droplets would flare and bloom when they landed in the water below. And the sight of the crimson liquid running down her arm was oddly soothing. So much so that Yuri didn't acknowledge the creaking of the bathroom door swinging open.
Was that the sound of her heart pounding, or was it footsteps across the tile floor? Yuri didn't care. She just needed to focus. She needed to calm down. In four, out four. That's all it really was.
"One… Two…" The blade was ice cold against her skin.
"Three… Four…" She took a stifled breath in.
"O-One…T-Two-o…" Another slice of bread.
"T-Thre-ee… F-Fooouuur…" Her breath hissed through her teeth as she breathed out.
The raccoon remained ravenous as Yuri readied the knife against her arm once more.
"One."
The pink tip of a school shoe suddenly kicked something underneath the stall door, causing Yuri's left hand to jerk in surprise. And that's when it happened. The purple haired girl let out a choked wince as she felt the blade imbed itself much deeper than she had anticipated. And though it may have just been her imagination, she could've sworn she heard the person outside the stall give a sympathetic wince in return.
Blood. So much blood. It no longer took a moment to pool around the wound before trailing down her arm. Instead, it simply ran from the deep cut and dripped into the toilet rapidly. Yuri bit her lip hard at this, shakily turning her head to try to get a glimpse at her guest through the narrow gap where the stall door met the wall. However, it was fruitless, as the person in question had moved back towards the sinks. Yuri's lavender eyes glanced down at the object that had been kicked under the stall door, and her cheeks flushed in shame as she realized that it was a package of gauze.
"W-What…? B-But how…?" Yuri wracked her brain for an answer that she wasn't even sure she wanted. Why had a person come into the bathroom just to give her a pack of gauze? Did the person even know she needed it? Did the person even know that it was Yuri in the stall? Yuri gently knelt down and retrieved the package, all the while making sure to keep her dripping arm over the toilet. She could still feel the presence of the newcomer in the bathroom with her. And a subtle glance across the floor as she knelt down revealed those pink tipped shoes waiting against the wall. As Yuri stood back up, the realization hit her like a train. She knew exactly who wore pink school shoes…
"M-M-Monika…?" The purple haired girl called out.