A/N: Warning! Warning! Warning!
This is Game of Thrones, hope you're ready.
I certainly am. Had a good long birthday weekend with the family, now I'm back and rarin' to cut loose. Hope you're ready for the revival; I stepped away from several stories, took some time away to think on things, draw up new character arcs, scrap others, then came back to finish what I started. Elden Ring can wait a little while longer this month; its high time I show some more love to my other stories.
Speaking of which!
I'll say it plain, if this email opt-in business with the site doesn't get resolved soon, I'm probably going to retire. It HURTS to say that; but with this new system, reviews and readers have dropped to an all time low, authors are leaving the site in droves, and it feels like the end of an era. Sometimes the app helps, other times...not so much.
Sometimes the app helps, sometimes it doesn't.
If you're not already aware of it, ever since the 16th of November -more than two bloody months now we've been dealing with this!- you now have to turn ON your email alerts in account settings-MAKE SURE YOU CLICK SAVE SETTINGS!-else you won't be notified when anyone updates. No alerts, no email, no nothing. Apparently that's a thing we all have to do every ninety days or so, now. Alas, not many are aware of it...which is a problem. As things stand this new "fix" as it were, has cut everyone's viewership/reviewers in half because most folks don't know about it. Authors are leaving/quitting because of this.
Sometimes opting in works. Sometimes it doesn't. Really depends. Hopefully the devs can fix tweak/update this system before everyone leaves.
Now then, we'll keep the questions brief this time...
Q:...just how dangerous is that sword Naruto found?
A: We all know what "Frost" really is now, don't we? 'Tis a weapon to fear...
Q: Update schedule?
A: Just about every day give or take and likewise a bit of everything, really. God of War, RWBY, Genshin, Elden Ring and the like. Long chapters take awhile, and most of these stories are monthly, if not bi-monthly. Sadly, the days of weekly updates seem to be behind me. Its just too damn busy at work and constantly crunch time as a result. Don't want that to affect the overall quality of the stories anymore than I already have.
Q: More of Sansa being fierce, please! So glad to see she isn't weak in this story.
A: She certainly isn't at that. Just you wait...
Q: Down with entitled twats like Joffrey! Off with his head, I say!
A:...don't tempt me.
No questions this time. Only story. Alright then, I've kept you long enough. Lets get back to it.
Once more, I own no quotes, references, or memes. Not a wit or a one. NOT! A! THING!
They're all tributes to legends far greater than little 'ol me.
There we go. Disclaimer over. Hope you enjoy~!
We've got a timeskip ahoy!
If I may humbly recommend some music for this chapter...I'd suggest "The Bells." From Season Eight of GOT. Put that on loop. You're about to see why.
"Love can make a man do terrible things, you know.
Terrible, terrible things indeed.
Long. Live. The King."
~A Discussion.
Long Live the King
The Kingsroad really didn't live up to its name.
For all its fancy titles, at the end of the day it was simply that, another road leading away from home. Longest highway in Westeros it may well be, but Naruto didn't see anything particularly special about it. Just lots of road, road, and more road with no end in sight, stretching on into the distance.
Maybe that was his anger talking. He'd spent entirely too much time atop a horse today and he was still saddle-sore for it.
They'd wasted more than a month on the road just to reach the Riverlands before they finally found a proper inn, if one could even call it that. The Inn at the Crossroads was adequate enough, but they clearly weren't equipped to feed so many mouths in so short a time. Supplies were short and tempers ran shorter. Guardsmen and knights had been press-ganged into hunting to that very effect. Even he wasn't able to escape the mad rush to find food.
Unlike the others, he'd caught his prey early.
He'd run down a mighty stag, lopped off its head, and dragged both back to camp for all to see. Oh, how the King had laughed. How the Queen had scowled.
The irony wasn't lost on Naruto. He chose to ignore it as he skinned the carcass. Working on his own food gave him time to think, his mind a chance to process the wild whirlwind of events that had left him here to this oment
It had been a bitter pill to swallow to begin with; the realization that they would be leaving the North -their home!- to venture south to King's Landing. It was enough to make him gag on any other occasion but this? This was a slap in the face.
Who could expect the king to make a play to bind their houses together? Not him.
Because you see, Sansa had been betrothed to Joffrey. That rotten, spoiled little twat. She wasn't much pleased about her engagement-no, nay, never, not one bloody bit, but she hid it well behind the mask of a dutiful daughter. Only he could see the fire in her eyes, the anger, the fury seething beneath the lid, like a cauldron about to boil over. She'd come to him with the news as soon as she received it:
"This outrageous! Its unfair!" she'd snapped and snarled at him, every bit the she-wolf he knew she was at heart. "I didn't choose him! He was chosen for me!"
On that they agreed. It didn't make a lick of sense. Things had been...they were good, ya know? He thought Ned would understand. He had hoped in the wake of his duel with Robert...well. He supposed it didn't matter what he hoped for now, did it? Lord Eddard Stark was to be hand of the king. Old honorable Ned. He couldn't think of anyone better for the position. Hells, he might clean Kings Landing of its filth. If anyone could, Ned would. In that, he didn't begrudge him. Sansa's father was good man. An honorable man.
.
..
...and a blind man.
Everything was changing because of him. He just couldn't see it. Or perhaps he chose not to. Jon was going to the wall with his uncle Benjen. Bran would stay with Rob and Rickon in Winterfell, the better to learn the ways of ruling. Sansa and Arya would be fettered away to King's Landing to be married off, used as pawns, the better to bind their houses together. And for what? Nothing. Less than Nothing. He'd respected Ned, once. A part of him still did. He owed the man nearly everything he had. But this...
"You're scowling again."
Sansa's voice tugged him from his musings; he looked up in time to see her enter his tent.
A few quick steps brought her to his side. She didn't dare treat pounce upon him, not when someone could walk in on -or hear!- them at any given moment, but it didn't stop her from nuzzling up to him all the same. Her hand flitted out to give his a quick squeeze, one he returned thrice as fast, pausing just long enough to kiss her forehead before returning to his work. All this in an instant and with nary a sound between the two of them. No one could possibly accuse them of impropriety as such.
Blessedly, they were alone. For once! Ha!
Was this their future? Furtive kisses in fleeting moments?
Sansa must've seen his anger must've shown through; because she dared to reach up and cup his cheek.
"I tried to reason with him, but Father wouldn't have it." an equally dark look flashed across her face. "He wishes to bind our houses together, just as the king does."
"Arya won't like that."
Sana's sister had wandered off to play with some butcher's boy by the river; were it anyone else he might've worried. Nor for Arya. She was much too young for that sort of thing. And she had no interest in courtship at present. More likely they were play fighting with wooden sticks or somesuch.
Nymeria would keep her safe. He had other concerns. Sansa knew it. She always could read him.
...you're not going to take this sitting down, are you?"
He tugged her hand away. "No. I'm not letting you wed that monster.
Her silence was telling.
"There's something else, isn't there?"
I don't want to either, you don't know he is- I know.
"I overheard something I shouldn't have; you impressed the King with your duel; he wishes to name you to his Kingsguard." his eyes flashed and she tried to soothe him at once. "It is a high honor-
"To hells with honor." he returned to gutting the dear with a vengeance, uncaring of how it bloodied his hands. "If I wanted honor I wouldn't be here. My only oath is to you and the Starks. They want to marry you off and think giving me a pretty white cloak and fancy armor will make up for it?"
Left unspoken was the vow of chastity. He'd never agree to that.
Frost seethed in her sheathe. His temper burned bright with her "I'll speak with him." He burst up, eyes flashing. "Tell him where he can shove his honor-
Horror flashed across Sansa's face as she grabbed at his wrist, reeling him back in. "You mustn't!"
He squinted at her. "Why?"
"You'll reveal our hand." she gripped his arm tight with a hiss. "Say nothing. Nothing at all."
Naruto wrestled his temper down again. It took more effor than he cared to admit. "So you want me to do nothing?!"
"I didn't say that." She leaned closer, whispered in his ear. "You once said you'd do anything for me. Does that hold true? Even now?
He gripped her hands with his, inadvertently staining them with blood. "Always."
"Then," she took a deep breath to steady herself, and rallied. "I've an idea."
She told him.
In the end, he realized she was right. The solution was simple. One merely needed to look at it form a different angle.
Joffrey had to die. Crippling him wouldn't do. He. Had to be. Exterminated.
Perhaps that was cruel of him, to slaughter a man's son to keep safe the one he loved. But this was a cruel world. No way in the seven hells was he giving Sansa to that twat. If he didn't kill him, she'd butcher him the very moment he tried to take her to bed. Of that much, he was certain.
Hence the prince's impending demise.
It would have to certain, beyond all shadow of a doubt. Thorough. With witnesses. He couldn't let the Starks suffer for it, either. To do so was to make Sansa suffer and he wouldn't stand for that. But he couldn't be seen to simply slit the boy's throat now, could he? That would ruin everything. But in the same vein he needed to act quickly, before they reached King's Landing.
Watching and waiting and wanting was all well and good, but it mean nothing if he didn't act.
As luck would have it, opportunity knocked the next morning.
Naruto answered happily.
(.0.0.0.)
The river in the Riverlands ran fast and true.
Of course it did. It was in the bloody name. Likewise,it was painfully easy to lead Joffrey astray. The boy wanted to impress Sansa, in his own deluded way. He'd give him credit for that; though they knew his true nature, he was terribly good at putting up a front for the sake of others when it counted.
Out to the riverbank the two of them went, and he followed, ever the dutiful knight. No Hound in sight.
There they found Arya and the butcher's boy, Mycah, swatting at one another with sticks.
Good. Witnesses. Just what he needed. He didn't even need to nudge them
Joffrey did it all himself."
Eventually, the little bastard
"We have no further need of you today, peasant." he waved a hand backwards. "Leave me with my lady while I teach this butcher's boy some manners."
"..."
"Don't worry," he laughed, mistaking his silence for concern. "I won't hurt him...much."
...I am a knight." he regretted the words the moment soon as he said them, if only because Joffrey scoffed.
"But you're not a real knight, are you?" he turned on him with that ugly sardonic smile of his. "No lands to your name, no titles, just a horse, a fancy sword and a bit of armor." he looked him up and down, leering openly now. "You're no warrior. Just a peasant with a word."
Naruto tamped down a surge of anger, then forced himself to smile instead. "And yet I knocked your father on his ass down in Winterfell."
Joffrey's face turned an amusing shade of puce. "That was a fluke! He went easy on you."
The ghost of a smile touched his mouth. "Is that what they call losing these days?"
"Enough!" Joffrey's sword escaped its sheathe with a rasp of steel. "Leave us, before I cut that wagging tongue out!"
Even now he didn't see the danger. He never would. More fool he.
Naruto looked over Joffrey's shoulder and met Sansa's gaze. She looked to the river. Shook her head.
This wasn't the way he'd wanted to do this.
Joffrey snarled. "Are you deaf as well as dumb? Begone!"
"No," Naruto looked back to him and took a deep breath, drawling the word said slowly, "I don't think I will." His shoulders tensed. "Arya, sweetie, close your eyes."
His sister-in-law took the hint bless her, spun right around, and dove on Mycha, dragging him the ground.
Joffrey had only just begun to pivot when Frost cleared its scabbard in a wide arc and found his chest. Its smoldering tip swatted the blade clean out his hand, pushed him backwards now, forcing him to stumble in retreat. A hand went for his fallen blade, then seemed to think better of it when the blade bit into his tunic once more. Back the little princeling went, back, back, back again, until he found himself teetering on the very edge of the riverbank.
"You won't kill me." he stared at him, incredulous. "You can't. I'm the prince."
"Naruto, no! Dimly he felt Sansa tug on his arm. "Stop! I said stop!"
Joffrey looked between them. Blinked, thrice now. Comprehension dawned.
"Oh." an ugly smirk touched his otherwise handsome face. "I see. You've already sullied her, haven't you? She's of no use to me now."
A deep, shuddering breath fled between clenched teeth. This hadn't been the plan. He'd intended to goad Joffrey-ensure he had an accident. Now his blood was up and that sordid scheme seemed so distant, so terribly far away now, deafened by the roaring in his ears. He could hear laughter, echoing deep inside him. It didn't belong to him. Why did it sound so familiar...?
Kill him. A dark voice intoned. Kill him now.
And still the little twat smiled.
...I cannot wait to see the look on Father's face." Laughter bubbled out of him in a dark leer, heedless of the knife's edge upon which he stood. "You're finished now. You and your whore." he thrust a hand forward, stabbing one finger at them. "I'll have you executed for this. Let me go now and I might convince Ser Illyn to grant you a swift death despite your grievous," his eyes flicked up and down Sansa's body. "Insult. I suppose I could make do with spoiled goods."
Something cold and dark stirred in Naruto's heart. Sansa sensed it. So did Joffrey. Too late.
His eyes narrowed. "Insult you say?"
Steel sang sharply.
Joffrey shrieked as his right hand struck the ground. No one heard him. No one saw him fall to his knees, clutching a this ruined wrist.
"What have you done?!"
"Would you look at that?!" Naruto snarled over the boy's agonized criy. "I've struck a prince. Did my hand fall from my wrist? No? Didn't think so." He reached down and grabbed him by the hair, hoisting him up once again before he could think to crawl away. "You're not a king, little man. You're not even a prince. Not really. And you insulted the one person I care for more than anyone else." another yank drew a whimper from the Lannister, nearly sending him into the raging river. "Now here we are, all alone, no guards to save you, no Hound to protect you...
The would-be-kind wailed at him. "My father will hear of this! Just you wait!"
My, but he could certainly bluster in the face of impending doom.
"Ah, but dead men...tell...no...tales, do they, little prince?"
Joffrey seethed, eyes wild. "I will be king!"
"That so?" Blue eyes rolled. "Well then, in that case, your majesty...
In a single sweep he thrust forward, impaling Joffrey upon his blade like a skewered pig. It was a good blow, drenching his blade in blood, sending it bursting out his back. The boy tried to squeal, only for him to clamp a hand over his mouth. His eyes bulged in disbelief. Dimmed now, as he felt the icy touch of death sink its fingers deep into his soul. Naruto held him there for a long moment, leaned forward and down, bringing his lips close enough to brush the boy's ear. Four little words were whispered, words for his ears and his ears alone, for he knew Joffrey would take them to his grave.
...long. Live. The king."
His peace said, he booted the boy off his blade and into the river. The Lannister didn't even have the strength to struggle before the current dragged him under. The waters around him ran red for the merest of moments, then they too were swept away. A hand went up only to be sucked down into the depths. He did not rise again. Doubtless the fist would feast tonight.
A strange tremor shot up the blade and into his arm; for a moment he thought he heard the dying wail of Joffrey's soul.
.
..
...surely it was his imagination.
Naruto kicked the severed hand into the river, lowered his blade into the raging waters and let the river wash it clean. Then he turned to face Sansa fully. "Hold our your hand."
She did as he asked.
He sighed. "This may sting a bit.
Her brow furrowed. "What are you doing?"
He granted her a grim grin. "Give us an alibi.
Comprehension dawned in her eyes. She held out her arms. "I'm not afraid of a few scars."
...I know."
From there he slashed his own arm and made a show of tearing his sleeves and muddying his tunic for emphasis. A quick cut to his cheek further helped to sell the image of a scuffle. On a whim he dirtied his hair and face as well; further creating the image of a beaten, harried knight who'd scarcely survived a vicious beating. But he needed more to sell the image.
"Your jewelry." blue eyes flicked to Sansa. "Throw it in the river. Quickly, now."
She didn't hesitate, his brave, clever girl. Away the silver and gold went, flung into the river where it was soon washed away with the dark waters. With luck, they'd be carried away long before anyone could think to mount a search party. Neither they nor Joffrey's corpse would ever be found.
Arya had no such baubles to shed, but she mussed up her hair nevertheless, dirtied her clothes, and offered her own arms in return.
"Are you certain?"
She bit her lip and nodded once.
Only when the deed was done did he turn to face the butcher's boy. "What did you see here, Mycah?"
His answer would determine his fate. He dearly didn't want to kill an innocent, but loose lips often sank ships.
Credit where it was due, the boy proved himself a quick thinker. "B-Bandits, m'lord. They slew the lord Joffrey in cold blood...
"That's right. Bandits." Naruto tutted, head bobbing in agreement. "They stole Sana's jewelry, roughed us all up, and killed the brave prince when he tried to fight back. It would be a shame if they returned to finish the job, wouldn't it?" The boy nodded frantically, catching his meaning. "Good, you understand. And remember," he whispered an clapped a hand down upon her shoulder, "This is our little secret."
Perhaps had he a mirror hand, he would have realized why Mycah flinched just then.
His eyes were glowing red. Red as blood.
Oh, how they glowed.
A/N: I'm sure we all saw that coming. Joffrey was never going to live long in this story.
Time will tell what happens next. Hope you're looking forward to it~!
Really worked hard on this one. Gonna sleep now.
So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...
...Review...Would You Kindly?
And enjoy the previews!
Potential ones!
(Previews!)
They returned to a camp in chaos.
Bandits did this?!
"You saw the children." Ned, old honorable Ned, came to their defense. "They were lucky to escape with their lives.
Cersei did not see it that way. "He was your prince! How could you let him die?!"
"He shouldn't have drawn steel on them." Naruto shrugged. "My duty is to house Stark. I barely managed to protect them and get us away. Sansa lost her jewelry in the chaos. Mycah saw as much...
The butcher's boy nodded fervently.
Ned bought the lie, bless his honorable soul. "We shall see these fiends rooted out, Robert. You have my word."
Cersei tried to protest again. "I don't believe a word of it! For all we know HE could have killed my son!"
"Enough!" Robert's voice boomed out to silence her. "He's dead, woman. Crying won't change it. Better to wipe the board clean and start over." Those dark eyes settled upon the rest of them. "No more wandering off, you lot. Understand? You did well to keep the lasses safe, lad."
Naruto faked a glum nod.
"What a fine mess this is...Tommen's a tad too young to wed Arya yet. We'll marry Myrcella to your boy, Bran, in the meantime. How's that?
Naruto hummed his agreement. "Sounds like a good match to me."
'Sorry, Bran. Throwing you under the cart here.'
Soldiers came for him that night.
"The King wants a word."
"How many would you kill to keep her safe?"
...as many as it takes."
"I am the queen! You will do as I say!"
"No."
"Excuse me?"
"Means no. Is there anything else?"
"No! Don't walk away from me! No one walks away from me!"
"This is me. Walking. Try and stop me if you like, you nattering hag." he walked away from her, one finger in the air.
R&R~!