Hotel Key
Chapter 32
1 month before chapter one
The sound of the motorcycle faded away. But RickyJo waited until she couldn't hear it at all before she leapt up and started packing. She needed some time to herself to clear her head. Besides her confusing and conflicting feelings about Daryl, she couldn't remember the last time she spent the whole day sober. Merle could be overwhelming and she didn't want him pressing her into a relationship she wasn't ready for. She felt a little bad for ditching him like this. But she needed some time alone to sort things out and figure out what she wanted.
RickyJo powered her phone on to check it. At first she had been checking it five or six times everyday to see if Daryl called her yet. Now, she was down to about once every other day. She felt the stab of pain in her heart, seeing that he still hadn't called or messaged her. Tossing the offensive device back in the passenger seat of her jeep, she grabbed her bags and tossed them in her little pull trailer. Then she started yanking out the tent stakes. She didn't bother to take her tent all the way apart, since she was going to set it back up when she got where she was going. After poking around quickly to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything important, she got in her jeep and took off. RickyJo intentionally pulled out in the opposite direction from where she was going and drove down to a busy lot where people parked to go swimming. Then she turned around and took a different road to head back up the mountain.
When she started to get close to where she was going, RickyJo called her cousin. This time of the day, Jessica would be at work which was perfect since RickyJo just wanted to leave a message. She didn't actually want to talk to her.
Hey Jess. I'm gonna take off for a while. Yer not gonna be able to get ahold of me but I just wanted you ta know that I'm fine. I love you and kiss the girls for me.
RickyJo hung up and turned her phone off. Jessica would worry anyway. But at least now she would be less likely to have the police out looking for her. It was hard for RickyJo to think of a place to go where no one would be able to find her. Finally, she remembered that really old hunting cabin that her grandfather owned way before he had his nicer one built over at the farm property. The place was totally run down. But she could always stay in her tent. Jessica had never been there and neither had Merle. Daryl was out there once. But that had been at least five or six years ago. RickyJo was thinking about selling the place and they had gone out to look at it. Daryl might still remember where it was. But since he didn't even give enough of a shit to call her, she doubted he was going on an expedition to find her. He probably didn't even care if she was dead or alive. Let alone missing.
Parking around the back of the place, RickyJo pushed the door open and headed inside. She ducked, holding her arm up in front of her to get rid of the cobwebs. The place was dirty and a fat raccoon was sitting in the middle of the room, looking at her. She hung the door open and then walked around towards the back to shoo him out. The place was dusty and smelled strongly of animals. But she could air it out. At least the roof wasn't leaking and the fireplace worked. After sweeping up a little, RickyJo brought her air mattress in and got set up. Then she went out on the porch and sat on the old rickety swing that was out there, putting her feet up. Now that she was alone, she felt like she could finally breathe. By now, she guessed that Merle was back at the other campsite. He must have realized she was gone. He was going to be good and mad about it too. RickyJo figured he could sit around with Daryl and talk about what a crazy bitch she was and how much they both hated her.
RickyJo was still hurting over what happened with Daryl. She wasn't sure what she did wrong, but since he hadn't called her in months, it must have been pretty bad. He must really hate her. Or maybe he just didn't care about her now that he got what he wanted from her. Over the last few months, she replayed the situation over and over again in her mind, trying to figure out what she did to make him suddenly hate her after a decade of friendship.
Merle was more than happy to tell her that no matter what happened, it must have been all Daryl's fault. It made her feel better. But she wasn't sure she believed him. He also made it crystal clear that if Daryl didn't want to step up and be a man, he would be more than happy to have her on his arm and in his bed. She cared for him. But she didn't trust him. Merle had a habit of saying all the right things and then taking it all back later. RickyJo had seen him do it to her cousin time and time again over the years. He seemed sincere about his feelings for her. But it was hard to tell with him. She wasn't going to let him make a fool out of her. And RickyJo felt she needed to take Jessica's feelings into account. She knew they weren't really together. But that didn't mean Jessica wouldn't be hurt.
It was all too much. And the more she thought about it, the more RickyJo was glad she got away from him to clear her head. If she stayed and camped the rest of the summer with Merle like they planned, she would have let him talk her into bed with him. And then she would be even more confused. Or maybe that would have made it easier. She wasn't sure how she would feel about him if they slept together.
RickyJo also knew she was still upset. And part of her wanted to sleep with Merle to hurt Daryl. To make him jealous. She didn't like that part of her. The part of her that wanted to hurt him like he hurt her. This is why I date women. Unable to sort her feelings out even with the new solitude of the woods surrounding her, RickyJo decided to go to sleep early. Maybe things would seem clearer in the morning.