Chapter Thirty Three:

'Thought any more about the teaching offer?' Sara moves closer, linking their hands. Hank trots ahead of them on through the bushes, finding the perfect spot to bury his stick. Grissom, walking silently most of the trip, turns towards her, expression blank.

'About what?' He pulls his hand from hers, switching Hank's leash over to the one in her grasp moments ago. Sara, squinting at him, questioning his recent attitude, lack of interest and general arsehole like nature, stops dead.

'Gil. Why are you being such a pain in the ass?' He has carried on walking, keeping an eye on Hank.

'What?' Stilling for a moment to turn and look in her direction. Sara huffs and marches over to where he is stood. Grabbing his arm, she guides him towards a nearby bench.

'Babe. You're being weird? You hardly engage in conversation recently. You aren't listening. You are being rude and just not your usual self.' Grissom looks down at the ground where her foot is kicking at a rock between them.

'Can you stop that, it's annoying.' He brings a leg up and crosses them over, positioning away from her.

'See! What's wrong with you? You haven't wanted to do anything for days, then you mention this walk and I think ok, he's ok. We are ok. Then you don't even hold my hand on the drive here like you usual do, you don't want to listen to the radio. I even wore my short shorts Gil. The ones you love and you haven't even looked at me once. Are you ok?' Whilst Sara rants, his eyes soften. He has been an asshole recently. His indecisiveness is wearing him down. The teaching offer, the miniature killer, just about everything and everyone is getting to him, but not her. And in realising this now, he understands where he has gone wrong. He has been so content with Sara, their relationship, the fact that this is the only thing that isn't stressing him out right now, that he has neglected them, neglected her. Furrowing his eyebrows, his features soften again, and he uncrosses his legs. Hank doddering nearby barks and draws their attention away from one another for a moment. Grissom is the first to turn back, looking at her. Sara, attention still trained on the dog, furiously digging his hole not noticing him taking her in. Her forehead crinkled in worry, lips pursed and to the side, he watches as she chews the inside of her cheek.

'I'm sorry.' Sara's eyes move before anything else, looking sideways to see if he is still there, whether he just said something. He reaches and takes the hand she has wedged in-between her thighs. 'Sara.' He pleads, his tone forcing her to turn to look at him now. 'Sara. I'm sorry. I have been…'

'An absolute prick?' She stares down into him. He smiles and lowers his gaze to their hands.

'Yeah. I shouldn't have taken my frustration and confusion out on you honey. I'm sorry.' He squeezes her hand, moving his other to stroke her thigh. Shit, he forgot how much he likes her in these shorts.

'You need to go… Get away for a while, have some breathing space from it all.' She rubs his arm lovingly.

'I don't think I can.' Frustrated she pulls her hand back, trying to be patient with him, to spare him the anger bubbling up inside of her right now. Biting back, she calms her temper and tries to reason with him.

'Why?'

'What if something happens when I'm away. Another miniature pops up?' That's it!

'No offense but I think we could handle it. I mean you're good but you're not that good. Las Vegas isn't second in the country just because of you you know.' She crosses her arms and stares at him. Grissom chewing on his bottom lip, looking out over the city below them.

'I'm not going to go. I'm staying in Vegas. There will be other offers, I can teach anywhere.'

'My god you're a dick.' Sara stands, whistles for Hank, and walks away. Grissom gathering himself, and Hank's leash from the bench next to him, stands quickly and follows.

'I'm a dick?' He catches up to her quickly. She can't go too far; he has the keys to the car after all. Sara spins to face him.

'Yeah. Actually, you are! You've been dragging this out for weeks and weeks. Treating me like shit just for trying to help, offering my best advice. Then you make a quick half assed decision basing it on your lack of confidence in the team, thinking us unable to deal with some whack job who creates souvenirs of their crime scenes. And yes, I know you have started a miniature of your office, therefore making you a whack job too.' She turns away. 'Come on boy, let's get some more of that energy outta you hey.' She begins to jog away.

'Sara!' Debating bolting back towards the car, she mulls it over very quickly and stops but doesn't turn to him. He jogs up behind her, stands to the side. 'Look, I didn't say I don't trust the team. I just don't trust myself to be away from it all if something happened and you guys were… Were having to deal with it all alone.' He ghosts a hand up her arm, bringing it over her shoulder to squeeze her neck. 'I really appreciate everything you do for me. You…' She interrupts harshly.

'As an inadequate employee or inadequate girlfriend?'

'Sara, I didn't say you were inadequate.'

'You didn't need to. Your selfish prick nature towards trying to find this killer, says enough. You just do you, and I'll just hang around waiting for you to decide. You know maybe it will take someone or something trying to kill you for you to realise you need this break… God knows you only make decisions during life of death situations. I was the one who nearly had to die for you to finally decide what to do about this.' She shrugs out of his hold and turns, tears brimming in her eyes. 'Decide Gil. Go to Williams and take a step back from all the stress. Refocus, regroup, I'll still be here when you get back.'

'Or?'

'Or stay. And let Vegas or some whack job take you away from me, whilst you bury yourself in your work and push everyone who cares for you away.' She tilts her head to the side and turns, walking back to the car. He follows slowly, mulling over her words.

The drive back to the condo seems to take a lot longer than usual. Hank, asleep on the back seat, Sara, staring out of the passenger side window whilst Grissom drives them home. They approach a set of lights and roll to a stop. He clears his throat, worried how his voice will sound after such a long silence.

'Sara?' She doesn't acknowledge him; he needs to put in some work. 'Darlin'…' She turns slightly, never able to resist him when he calls her that. She looks at him questioningly. 'I'm sorry I have been distant lately. I just… I don't think leaving right now is such a good idea. I… I'll miss you and.'

'No Gilbert. Don't bring that into the equation. This break is for your mental wellbeing. I've already said I will be right here when you get back. Besides we could talk on the phone every day, video call, email, fuck sake I'll even have phone sex with you if you want me to. Just.' She pauses, rubs her fingers on her forehead. 'Just don't make a stupid decision right now.' The lights change and he moves them forward, edging closer and closer to the haven of their home. She reaches out and takes his free hand. 'I love you. I just want my funny, goofy Gil back. You've been through so much these past 18 months. The team restructure, the mental hospital, Nick buried alive, nearly losing Jim.' He puffs out a breath in response, an agreement of sorts. 'You miss teaching, you miss having young eager minds around to fill with everything and anything you know. You're a teacher with no students right now, we're all grown up, face it, we don't need to come running to the boss man all the time anymore and it's getting you down.' She rubs her thumb across his hand. 'And that's ok. Everything is going to be ok.' He turns slightly to look at her, returning his attention to the road just as quick. They continue in silence for a while. A few junctions before they get home Sara picks up again.

'I didn't mean what I said about the only making decisions when someone is in danger thing. It's just, and easy go to, you know?' He nods in her direction. 'Friends again?' He scoffs and looks over at her once more.

'I think we are more than friend's darlin'.

'You know what I mean.'

'I know you agreed to trying phone sex.'

'If! If you go to Williams!'

'Well, I suppose now I gotta go.'

'I bet that's the only reason you used to ring me in San Francisco wasn't it. Just trying to get laid.'

'I'm glad I didn't. The real Sara Sidle experience is a lot better than any phone sex could ever be.' He squeezes her thigh. Waits a beat. 'Man, I really do like these shorts don't I.'