A/N: What's about to unfold isn't the way things would have happened at the time we met Deacon and Rayna on the show, considering the trajectory of their lives in that world. This is Deacon and Rayna in their early 30's, married with a young family and life changes they're having difficulty navigating. Rayna was driven and focused even then though, and the lack of time together meant she and Deacon didn't figure out how to deal with the harder stuff. I hope you'll stay with it to see how it ultimately plays out for them.
Rayna
When she turned onto the road off her driveway, she wasn't sure where she was going. She didn't have anyone to talk to, really. Tandy wouldn't be objective. She thought about Watty, but she'd already talked with him about the same topic and thought she'd probably get the same answer. She thought about the park, but that didn't seem private enough. Then she thought about the church. The church she had attended as a child, up until the time her mother died. After that the only time the Wyatt family attended was on Easter. Sometimes she felt bad that she'd really never returned after she'd left home. Kicked out, not left, she thought, still a little angry about that. It wasn't that she no longer believed, but life had happened. The parking lot looked mostly empty and she assumed there might not be a lot of people around, so she decided to try that.
She drove into the parking lot and then got out of her car, walking up to the side door. She hesitated for a moment before opening it. She walked in and stood there, as the door closed behind her. Then she walked toward the sanctuary. She stood for a moment, looking around. There was no one else there so she took a few steps in and then slid into one of the back pews. She sat for a moment, just taking in the quiet. The church was big and open, sunlight streaming through the windows. It was quiet, still.
She thought about the conversation she and Deacon had had before she walked out. Except that it wasn't really a conversation because she felt a little blindsided and he seemed to be on the defensive. He was right. They had talked about this being a possibility, but she hadn't really expected it. She hadn't been as prepared to lose him professionally as maybe she should have been. It also felt like he was making a lot of these choices on his own and it reminded her of his impulsiveness and the damage that had done back when he was drinking. It wasn't that she wanted to make decisions for him, but she felt out of the loop and adrift where he was concerned.
She sat forward, her hands clasped on top of the pew in front of her and closed her eyes. I don't even know what to pray for. Do I pray for peace? Do I pray that I can change his mind? Do I just accept this and move forward? I know he wants this, and I truly do want it for him, but it separates us and that scares me for so many reasons. I think I'll always worry about him, and I know he'd like for me not to, to just trust him. But all I can see ahead of us is weeks where we might not see each other or might not see much of each other. He'll be on his own with time on his hands. I love him and I know he loves me but what will he do with that free time? Won't he just drift away from me? She put her head down and rested it on her still clasped hands. I need to believe in him. Have faith in him. Trust him. Why am I struggling so much with this?
But was that what was really bothering her? She wasn't sure. It just felt like they were coming undone, in a way. She did have faith in him, but she was also losing her partner. Could they be the same two people without that connection? Music and Deacon were the same for her, she'd always said that. But music without Deacon – she just wasn't sure what that meant for them. She sat back up and opened her eyes, not really sure what she'd been hoping for.
When she finally left she didn't feel like she'd gotten any answers or come to any final resolutions. In fact, she felt more unsettled than before.
When she walked into the house, it was silent. She laid her keys and purse on the kitchen island and looked around. No Maddie, no Deacon. She frowned. "Deacon!" she called out and waited. Hearing nothing, she went up the back stairs and checked first in Maddie's room and then their bedroom, but both were empty. She went back downstairs and down the hall to the music room. The doors were closed and when she peered through the windows, she saw Deacon sitting on the couch with his guitar. She couldn't see Maddie but felt sure she was sitting there as well. When she opened the door, Deacon turned to look at her and slowly set his guitar aside. Maddie popped up from behind the couch. "Hey, y'all," she said, her eyes on Deacon.
"Mama!" Maddie cried, hopping off the couch and then running around to fly into her arms. "Where were you?"
She lifted her daughter and settled her on her hip. "I had something I needed to do," she said. "What are you doing?"
"Daddy's teaching me the guitar," she said with a big smile.
She glanced over at him, then back at Maddie. "He is, huh," she said. Then she narrowed her eyes playfully and smiled. "Shouldn't you be taking a nap right now?"
"I'm sorry. it's my fault for keeping her up," Deacon said.
Still looking at her daughter, she said, "Well, little lady, I think you still need one. Okay?"
Maddie looked disappointed. "Do I got to? I wanna play."
"Yes, you need to. And Daddy will be here when you wake up and maybe he'll teach you some more." She set Maddie down. "Okay then, let's go." She glanced at him, then followed Maddie out of the room and back down the hall.
He was in the den when she came back downstairs and she went over to sit next to him. She clasped her hands tightly on her lap as she faced him. "I just needed some time to think," she said. He nodded. "Deacon, I support you. I do. And you don't need my permission to do what you need to do. It's not even really that you're going on another tour, although why you'd want to go out with Luke Wheeler is beyond me." She made a face. "It's that you made the decision without talking to me. I wouldn't have stood in your way if it was what you really wanted to do, but it felt like I was, I don't know, left out."
He breathed in slowly. "I get it." He didn't want to tell her about Luke's comment and decided not to. "But it's exactly what I wanted. Maybe not the Luke part, but this is my chance, Rayna. If I don't say yes to things I could get left out. You know that."
"You're right, I do know that. It's just that the plan had been for you to come back on my tour, so I think I did have a right to be included in the process."
"I really don't gotta do that, you know. I ain't got a contract. And you make plenty of decisions without talking to me first." She breathed in sharply and started to get up. He reached for her hand and pulled her back down. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't've said that. You're my wife and I should have talked to you. Told you what I was planning to do. But Luke's a big deal and it seemed like the right thing to do to move my career forward. This is important to me." He squeezed her hand. "But you are too. The most important person. I got excited though."
She nodded. "I know. And really, I'm excited for you." She gave him a little smile. They only had a few days together and she didn't want to spend them fighting. "Just promise me you won't become like Luke."
He laughed and pulled her into his arms. "No chance of that, baby. I promise."
Deacon
Crisis averted. He hoped. The time he and Rayna had before they both headed back on the road went too fast. But after getting through the initial standoff over his decision to sign on with Luke Wheeler's tour, they seemed to silently agree to make peace and enjoy the precious days they had together. He knew her so well, though, that he knew she was holding back a little. Not enough to ruin the time they had, but she'd pulled back ever so slightly. And he had to wonder at the reasons why he just let it go.
Summer was long, but exhilarating. Luke's tour was high energy, and he expected his openers to provide the same high energy lead up, so he had worked on retooling his set list to accommodate that. He also spent many nights writing and creating new music that he could add to his arsenal. Luke had more midweek dates as part of his tour, since he didn't have family to go home to, which meant they were all out on the road more. He brought his kids on tour with him for a couple of weeks, but most of the rest of the time he was entertaining one lady after another. He thought about what Rayna had said – beers and trucks and picking up women. She was right. That was exactly what it was. He thought he did a decent job of navigating it, but there were always temptations, even if he wasn't interested. There was a group that had a daily AA meeting, which he attended. What surprised him, though, was how little his wedding ring seemed to matter to any girl who decided to focus on him. No doubt why Luke's divorced now.
He'd decided to get out of the hotel for a while. As he rode down the elevator, he thought about the last time he'd seen Rayna and Maddie. Because of the midweek dates, he hadn't seen them in a couple weeks. Phone calls weren't the same and Rayna told him Maddie had been acting out more and she was sure it was because the little girl missed her daddy. Truth be told, I've wanted to get right down there with her. He sighed. This was the part of not touring together that sucked. Rayna didn't say a whole lot about it, but that was part of what bugged him. She was too silent. He didn't know if she was avoiding it or if she was holding it against him and didn't want to say it out loud. The elevator doors opened and he stepped out, then started walking across the lobby.
"Deacon!" He turned at the sound of his name and saw Luke sitting by himself in the hotel bar. He took a second, then walked over to the bar where Luke was drinking a beer. He wondered how many he'd had. Luke grinned. "How's everything going? I'm getting really good feedback on you, so I hope you're having a good time."
He shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded, then tried to smile. "Yeah, I am. It's been great."
Luke gestured towards the bar stool next to him. "Have a seat." Figuring it wouldn't be good business to decline, he got up on the stool. Luke smiled. "So can I buy you a drink?" He just stared, thinking Luke was still kind of an ass. "Oh, what am I saying. Get whatever it is you drink now."
The bartender was standing right there. "Club soda with lime," he said.
Luke laughed a little sheepishly. "I'm sorry, man. How long's it been now?"
He wasn't sure exactly what Luke was asking. "How long's what been?"
Luke took a quick swig of his beer. "Since we've been on the same tour circuit."
He shrugged. "A while." The bartender slid the club soda over to him and he picked it up, taking a sip.
Luke tipped up the beer bottle and drained it. He glanced quickly at the bartender and nodded, indicating he wanted another. "I gotta tell you, man, I really was happy to see you going out on your own. I always thought you were a lot more than just someone's side man."
He felt himself bristle and frowned. "I wanted to perform with Rayna. I didn't have to." Although he knew – and he knew Luke did too – that for many years he did, in fact, have to or he might have been dead long before now.
"Oh, I get it. I probably would've wanted to stick close to her too." He clenched his jaw, continuing to frown. Luke waved his hand then. "I'm not trying to piss you off, man. From what I can see, though, you were meant to be a front man. I'm just glad I can help you get there. Help launch you."
He had to stifle a laugh over Luke acting like he was doing this to help launch a fellow artist. "I appreciate the chance to jump on your tour," he said instead. He wasn't completely oblivious to the fact that most headlining artists started out like this. Working dive bars and off the beaten track kinds of places, graduating to state fair circuits or similar, opening for a variety of performers, for years, before hopefully being in a place where they could headline their own tours. Rayna had been an exception. She was 20 when she got noticed and plucked out of near obscurity to open for Shenandoah. Her first album had gone triple platinum and led to her opening for George Strait for 2 years. A CMA Horizon Award win and 2 more multi-platinum albums had put her into the headlining space by the time she was 25. He was approaching his mid-30's and was in a very crowded male artist space. Hooking up with an artist with Luke Wheeler's reach was pure luck.
"How'd Rayna take it when you told her?"
"Good. She supports me doing this." Begrudgingly – the thought popping into his head out of nowhere. That's what it felt like. But he wouldn't say that to anyone, especially not to Luke.
Luke had an amused smile on his face, kind of his standard expression, unless he was mad. "That's good. I guess I figured as long as you'd been backing her up, it was maybe some sort of unspoken agreement that you wouldn't take the chance. Like maybe it was understood that she was lead dog. When I heard you were opening for Toby, I was surprised, I'll be honest. But good for you. No need for someone with your talent to stand on the sidelines." He hopped off the stool then, throwing a twenty on the bar. "I got an interview to do, but good having you out, Deacon." Luke slapped him on the shoulder. "See ya 'round." And then he was gone.
He realized his hand was holding the glass so tightly he almost thought he could break it. I guess I figured as long as you'd been backing her up, it was maybe some sort of unspoken agreement that you wouldn't take the chance. Like maybe it was understood that she was lead dog. He made an angry noise. What an ass. He slowly unwound his hand from around the glass and flexed it a little to ward off the stiffness. He breathed in deeply and then let it out slowly. Maybe Luke was right though. He and Rayna never really talked about their arrangement. It just sort of happened organically. And he'd done nothing to change it. He liked working with her though, making music, writing music, performing music together. He'd been willing for all these years to do that, to stand behind her and play guitar, sometimes standing next to her when they did a duet. But the itch had always been there and it had felt like, now that he'd gotten his life moving in the right direction, it was as good a time as any to give it a try. He'd been worried that he'd waited too long, but after some initial fits and starts, things seemed to be moving forward. But leave it to Luke to be a jerk.
He put a 5 dollar bill down on the bar and got up, heading for the exit door out onto the street. It was hot as hell though, so he looked for a shady area. There was a small park-like area a couple blocks down from the hotel with benches and plenty of shade. Although there were some other people there, mostly professionals from the nearby office towers eating lunch, he found an out of the way spot where he could sit. He pulled out his phone and leaned forward on his elbows as he waited for Rayna to pick up.
"Hey, babe!"
He smiled at the sound of her voice. "Hey yourself. How you doing?"
"I'm good. I'm at Soundcheck."
"Oh, I'm sorry if I interrupted something."
"No, no, no. It's fine. I'm happy for the interruption." It sounded like she was walking and then he heard a door close. "Okay, I'm in an office. How are you doing? I didn't expect to hear from you in the middle of the day."
"Ah, I sorta had cabin fever at the hotel so I thought I'd get out for a bit. But then Luke waylaid me in the hotel bar."
"What?" She sounded a little tense, and he understood what she was thinking.
"It's one of those right at the entrance so I walked right past him. I had a club soda so don't worry."
"I wasn't worried." Except he was pretty sure she wondered, even if she wasn't worried.
"Anyway, he was being a jerk, so I just thought I'd call you."
"What did he say?"
"Nothing, really."
"Deacon."
He sighed. "I guess he just had to be an ass. Said he was surprised you'd let me go out on my own." That wasn't exactly what he'd said, but he knew that was what he'd meant.
She didn't say anything for a second. "Well, I hope you set him straight."
"I did."
"I don't think Luke is the kind of artist you should tour with, Deacon, to be honest. I don't see his kind of tour as being what you'd want to associate with."
He remembered how she'd referred to Luke's tour as trucks and beer, assuming it would be a raucous party type atmosphere, which it was in many ways. "He's got a solid tour, Rayna. I get a lot of visibility. Big crowds. Kind of like when you when out with George Strait."
"Well, it's not the same as George Strait. Luke has a different kind of reputation."
"You know I can handle it." He was a little pissed to think she didn't trust him.
"I do know, babe, but surely your manager could find you someone better. If you're going to keep doing this, you might want to find better artists to open for."
If you're going to keep doing this. He sucked in his breath, trying to maintain his cool. "How's Maddie?" he asked, changing the subject.
"She's great. Misses her daddy though."
"I miss her too." He paused. "Does her mama miss me?"
"You know I do. You'll be home for a few days next week, right?"
"Yeah." He breathed out. "Look, I know you're busy. Just wanted to hear your voice."
"I'm glad you called. I love you, Deacon."
"Love you, Ray." He disconnected and put his phone back in his pocket. He thought that maybe at the end of this, when they were both home and off the road, they needed to really talk about what came next. Whether he was opening for Luke Wheeler or someone else, now that he'd had a taste of this, he wasn't ready to call it a day. He just wasn't sure Rayna knew how serious he was about it.
Rayna
She'd been home for 3 weeks. When Deacon had wrapped up his tour with Luke, Rita had gotten him a 4 week gig with Alan Jackson who was finishing out his tour. He was excited about the exposure, and it had led to a single off the record he'd put out nearly a year earlier hitting radio. They'd chosen Saddle Up which she thought was a great single, but he'd been angry they hadn't used A Life That's Good or even Been and Gone.
"It's not even the best song on the record, Ray," he'd fumed. "You know that."
"Babe, they're all good songs. But you know how it is when you're trying to get something on the radio. It happened to me too. Especially at the beginning. I never had any say." She had learned that most times labels knew what would get good play on the radio. Not always, but most times. She had learned not to push too hard unless she really felt strongly.
"I don't get it though. A Life That's Good and Been and Gone get the best reactions too at my shows and my tour sets."
"Maybe they know something. The goal is to get it on the radio, right? I think, for you, something that really kind of busts out of the gate is best for a first single. Shows off your lyrics and it's high energy. Just see how it goes, okay?"
He was silent for a moment. "I guess."
His journey had really taken her back to her early days, especially when she'd put out her first album. She'd let the label call most of the shots, but luckily, they had included many of the songs she and Deacon had written together, the ones she was most proud of. As time went on, she got more involved with what songs would be on her albums and eventually, when she'd started working with Randy Roberts as her producer, she – and Deacon – had been the drivers of what she put out. She was actually looking forward to going back into the studio after the first of the year to put out a new album. It had been 3 years and she needed something new. But in thinking about Deacon's journey, she was excited about the prospect of hearing him on the radio and she wanted to get him excited too.
She wanted to have another baby. She'd been thinking about it for a while, but had put off the discussion. Maddie was 3½ which meant she'd be 4 when a second baby was born. The timing was the thing that could be tricky. Ideally she'd still be able to tour for the full season, which meant a baby born in late fall. It would also be more complicated if Deacon was still touring separately from her. It wasn't like it was impossible, but she wanted to do it with him. So maybe she needed to wait until right before touring season started so the baby would be born after the first of the year.
She and Deacon had always talked about having a bunch of kids, although she thought he might not want a whole house full. She'd just always wanted to have a bigger family than the one she grew up in. Bigger than the one he grew up in too. But 2 was a good number. It had been a while since they had actually sat down and talked about it. When she had said something to him not long after Maddie was born, he'd seemed terrified, and she'd had to reassure him she didn't mean immediately. The last time they'd talked about it at all had been before she'd started her tour. But then they'd agreed to wait until they were both done with touring for the year to discuss it again. She worried that the timing would be wrong. That being separated would make it seem impossible.
There's never a perfect time though, she thought. She'd bring it up when he got home and see what he thought now. She was ready. She hoped he was too.
Deacon
Rita had called to let him know she would be at that night's show and wanted to check in with him after sound check. Over the months since she'd taken over managing his career, he had to say that it had been a good decision to sign with her. He'd learned that she was very driven, very focused, and super professional. She wasn't warm and fuzzy like Bucky was, but she had really gone to bat for him, setting him up in a way he knew he wouldn't have been able to do himself. Getting him on Luke Wheeler's tour had been a great win for him and it was paying off in record sales. His single was getting some radio play in certain markets and he hoped that soon it would be in more.
He'd seen her walk into the venue while he was doing his sound check, taking a seat about halfway back. When he finished the 30 minutes, he walked off the stage and met her where she sat. "Thanks for coming," he said as he settled into the seat next to her.
She gave him a quick smile. He noticed she, as always, was dressed like a businessperson. It made him wonder sometimes if she ever just let her hair down, in a manner of speaking. "I wanted to see how things were going with Alan. I hadn't gotten a chance to come before, but this worked. I also wanted to let you know that we're going to radio in some additional markets, so that's a positive. The label is thinking that Back Home would be the next release."
He frowned. Not that he didn't like the song – he did, of course – but he thought others were stronger. "If they're going with something softer, why not A Life That's Good?"
"The imagery is what's appealing. The idea of the guitar and fireflies and all that." She paused for a second. "All of the songs are great, Deacon. I know you feel protective about all of them, maybe some more than others. But this is what labels can really do well, let us know what will be most marketable. As you continue your career, you'll have more control over what singles are released and when. But you're not there yet."
He huffed, but then he thought about how it had been the same with Rayna's first album. The song she'd wanted to put out – Already Gone – was actually the last single to go on the radio. Even then it hadn't really tracked as well as it did when he had reworked the arrangements, moving it from a ballad to a power song. "I guess," he said.
"It's also time for you to think about what you might put out on a second album. We still have mileage on this one, since it took a bit for it to start moving, so I think we might wait on the second album until after next touring season. Which is the other reason I wanted to talk to you." She smiled again, this time letting it linger a bit. "We've already got an ask for next year, for you to be an opener."
He grinned. "Who?"
"Luke Wheeler." She let that sink in for a second. "He was really impressed with you and the way you complemented his tour. He wants to take you out for the full tour season next year. Late April until September. With a raise. I'll have the contract next week and we can discuss when you're back home in Nashville." He would be home in a couple of weeks when his contract ended with Alan.
He was surprised. "Wow. That's great news."
She nodded. "It is but let me make one observation about that. This will be the last tour with Luke. I don't want you to be tied to him, where other artists think that's all you can do. I'll be working with some other people I know to see if we can market you more broadly. Again, bigger acts with wider reach."
"So, what do I do until next year?"
She smiled. "You could relax. But you could also write, play around town, even go out to some places in the area. As you write new material, it would help you feel out how it's received, plus it's an opportunity to keep your face out there. Which is what I would recommend. It's really up to you though."
"It sounds like I need to tell Rayna I won't be going out with her next year."
She sighed. "If you really want this solo career, you should have known that wasn't going to happen anyway." She breathed in, then out. "Look, I know you've been working with her for years. You've been in her band and the two of you have written a lot of songs together. You can still write with her, but you need to concentrate on what will work for you. Quite honestly, she should do the same. I'm surprised Bucky hasn't already told her that. If you don't want this career and you'd rather go back and just be Rayna Jaymes' guitar player, let me know and I'll put a stop to all this."
He shook his head. "I'm still all in on a solo career. That ain't changed. I guess going back to her was like a fall back situation. If things didn't work out."
"Well, they are working out. You're getting traction. Don't take your foot off the brake and don't let anyone get you off track." She tapped his arm. "I need to make some calls. I'll see you backstage before the show." She got up and walked down to the aisle. He watched as she headed for the exit and then turned back, focusing on the stage. Alan's band was getting set up for his sound check. He watched for a few seconds, then got up and left himself.
It was almost midnight, but he never was able to go right to bed after a show. He usually needed some time to decompress and that often meant watching TV or working on music. He had his guitar on the bed and a notebook in front of him. Writing usually came naturally to him, but this feeling that he needed to write was causing him to struggle. He leaned back against the headboard. When he and Rayna wrote together the words and the music just seemed to fly between them. They rarely struggled and when they did, sex usually helped open the floodgates. That, of course, wasn't an option here and he finally decided that he'd call it a day on trying to write.
He got up from the bed and left the room, headed for the elevator. When he got in, he wasn't sure where he wanted to go, but he hit the button for the top floor, where there was a rooftop lounge. When he walked out onto the rooftop, he was first hit with the thought that he should have brought a jacket. It was early November, and they were in West Virginia, which meant it was chilly. He considered going back down but decided he could tough it out. There weren't many people on the deck, being that it was after midnight. Of those who were there, he knew no one, so there was no chance someone would want to talk.
He walked over to the part of the deck that was away from all the lights, shrouded in darkness. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets and hunched his shoulders slightly, feeling the cold breeze waft through his hair. Below he could see the city lights of Charleston, although at this time of night there wasn't much activity on the streets. He thought about what Rita had said. You're getting traction. Don't take your foot off the brake and don't let anyone get you off track. He knew what she was saying. He couldn't let someone else make the decisions for him. He needed to decide for himself what he wanted and then let the cards fall where they may.
It felt like he was at a crossroads. He had a chance to live out all the dreams he'd come to Nashville with. There were no guarantees, of course, but if he chose to go back to being in Rayna's band, he'd never know if he was on the cusp of making it happen. He knew how much work it would be, having been there as Rayna navigated the same path he was. He also knew the path was easier for a male artist than for a female artist. Wasn't fair, but that's how it was. There were also a lot of new male artists coming up with him, artists who were younger than he was. There probably wouldn't be any coming back if he made a different decision.
He had one more tour date and then he'd be heading home. Telling Rayna about his plans for the next year wasn't going to be easy. She said frequently that she supported him, but he also knew what she didn't want to say, which was that she didn't want him to do this. She liked the way things were. She was comfortable with that. Truthfully, he liked it too. He liked working with his wife, writing songs, and performing together. He liked the time he had with Maddie. If he didn't give this a try, though, he'd never know what could have been.
It was mid-November and the tour was finally over. He was tired. More than that, he was exhausted. He'd been on the road most of the past year and he was ready for the first lengthy break he'd had. Even though he had a lot weighing heavy on his mind, he was looking forward to getting home. It had been a long year. When he looked back on it, he acknowledged that while it had at times been frustrating it had also, in the end, been incredibly rewarding. He'd been away from Rayna and Maddie for too long and it had shown in the tension that crept in between him and Rayna. He'd had a lot of time to think about his future, with and apart from his family. He hadn't come to a full conclusion about what life would look like long term, but he had decided he was betting on himself. There were a lot of unknowns still and obstacles to work through. He was sure though that if he didn't let himself go all in on this journey that he would regret it for the rest of his life.
He also had to think about Rita's advice. You could relax. But you could also write, play around town, even go out to some places in the area. As you write new material, it would help you feel out how it's received, plus it's an opportunity to keep your face out there. Which is what I would recommend. She was right. He couldn't let his foot off the gas. He could take some downtime, maybe through the end of the year, but he wasn't at a place where he could sit back. It had been the same for Rayna, back in the day. Nothing about that had changed.
There was a heaviness in his gut as he turned off the main road and ventured into Belle Meade. Even though it was not even Thanksgiving, he could see that some people were already starting with Christmas decorations. He saw wreaths on doors and windows, garlands wrapped around stately columns, and lights already lit on some houses even though it was daylight. It was a crisp, chilly day in Nashville, but the sky was bright blue and the sun was well on the way on its journey to the horizon. He had left Winston-Salem early in the morning, ready to get home. He drove around the park towards home.
When he pulled into the driveway, he stopped for a moment. Ahead of him was the big house Rayna had wanted them to live in. The big house that was too big for their furniture. The big house that was too ostentatious, in his opinion. The big house that was right for the great Rayna Jaymes, but not really so much for Deacon Claybourne. He still felt a little like a stranger in the house, like someone who didn't really belong. Rayna had spent more time in it than he had, which was probably part of it. But he still missed the cozy Edgefield cottage. The house they'd brought Maddie home to. He wished he'd pushed back harder on moving into this place.
He sighed, then put his hand out of the window and hit the gate code, watching as the gates swung open. He slowly drove down to the house, noticing that Rayna hadn't put up Christmas decorations yet. She'd told him that they'd wait for him to get home to do all that. He had to wonder if what they had would be enough for this place. He wasn't as into Christmas as Rayna was, but he did like the tree they'd put up by the front window in the cottage, all decorated and lit up, and the garland threaded with small colored lights across the fireplace mantle. The simple wreath with a red bow on the front door and mistletoe hanging over the front entrance. He missed the days of a crackling fire in the fireplace and the soft sound of Christmas music flowing throughout the house.
He ran his hand across his mouth, feeling a little choked up, then reminded himself that all he really needed were Rayna and Maddie to make Christmas a happy time. He pulled up and parked, then opened the door and got out. He pulled one of his guitars and his duffle out of the back and headed for the kitchen door. He thought about seeing his girls and that brought a smile to his face. They would have a lot to discuss though and he wasn't sure how it would all go. He took a deep breath as he reached the door and opened it.