"Okay, Niles! Guard these with your life! One is color, one is black and white. And what do you think, you guys, how many copies should he put down? Doubles? Triples?"
Fran and Max looked at each other as Niles put the two rolls of film in his jacket pocket.
"Oh, gosh! I don't know, Max- should we do triples? In case we need to give Ma some?"
"Oh- yes, let's start with triples, Niles. We can get more copies later if we need to. And one will go with the announcement, so we probably won't get that back. So you'll be picking them up after school, Brighton?" Max asked.
"Yeah, that's the plan. I want to see them first. Oh, do you guys want me to grab any frames or anything?"
"Ooh! Could you? And maybe an album, too. Use your best judgement, I trust you. Thank you so much, B! This is so exciting!" Fran hugged him and then they all sat down in their seats. The girls were already seated and had begun their breakfasts, and Niles had already poured Max and Fran their coffee. He was almost walking on air as he handed Brighton his plate of food and then began filling plates for Fran and Max.
"So after Brighton comes home, go through the photos and decide on which one you want in the paper, and I should have the announcement written by then, so you can look over that, too, and make any changes you need to. Oh, this is so fantastic!"
"Niles, old man, grab yourself a plate and come sit. I think we've all got plenty to keep us busy." Niles set their plates down and handed a bowl of pears and blueberries to Fran.
"Oh, thank you, Niles! Yummy!" Fran said, and Max smiled at her. Niles picked up a plate and filled it with scrambled eggs and potatoes and ham, set it on the end of the table, then grabbed a cup and filled it with coffee and cream and sugar, then came back to sit and have breakfast with the family.
Everyone was eating quietly, grinning from ear to ear. They had all seemingly forgotten about Fran's impending surgery and all the worry that went with it. They were just so happy to be celebrating their engagement. Max and Fran both took big swallows of their coffee to help them warm up, then Fran dug into her eggs.
"So good! I love it when you make the eggs like this, Niles! Just a little seasoning. I'm so hungry!" She took another bite and everyone smiled at her.
"You're very welcome, Ms. Fine. If there's anything else you might like for breakfast, or any other meal, please let me know! And after I go take the film in this morning, I'll be stopping at the market, so let me know before then and I'll get what I can."
"Okay, thank you, Niles."
"Oh, Brighton, before I forget," Max took out his wallet and took out cash and handed it to Brighton. "Now this is just extra to cover the film and frames and whatever else you need to pay for. It doesn't cover the job of taking all the photos, alright? We'll sort that part out later."
"Oh, uh, okay," Brighton took the cash and put it into his own wallet.
"So, girls, did you get everything done that you needed to for today?" Fran asked, before taking another big bite of food.
"Yep! All done! Easy peasy!" Gracie said.
"Yes, I finished everything, too," Maggie added.
"Do you guys have anything after school today? We have an appointment, and I don't know exactly when we'll be back."
"I don't, unless I stay to talk to teachers or anything, then I'll go pick up the pictures," Brighton said.
"I'm picking Gracie up at school after her club meeting, so hopefully we should be back around four," Maggie said.
"Club? Gracie, did you join a club?" Fran asked reaching for Gracie's hand.
"Yeah! I got invited to the chess club meeting, to see if I like it. They're doing speed rounds today, so that might be fun!" Gracie grinned from ear to ear, and Max smiled at her.
"Oh, sweetie, that's fantastic! I bet you'll have a really good time!"
"It should be fun, and they have snacks, too!" Gracie was happy.
Maggie had a more serious expression on her face. "Um, Fran? Is it okay to ask about your appointment?"
"Of course, Maggie! We have an appointment to go talk to a therapist this afternoon, it might be a long appointment. We thought it might be a good idea, since everything has kind of happened so fast. You know, just to make sure we're handling things alright and that we make sure we talk about anything we might need to talk about." Fran reached for Max's hand and squeezed it.
"You're going, too, daddy?" Maggie asked.
"Yes. I need to make sure I'm handling things appropriately. Since her surgery is so soon, we thought it might be a good idea to go talk to someone, see if they have any suggestions."
"Well, if I may interject," Niles said, "I think that's a very good idea. A therapist can help you better prepare, and may bring up things that you haven't thought about talking about." Max and Fran nodded, looking at each other.
"Also," Fran added, "If anyone is wondering, we took my temperature this morning and it's normal, and I'm feeling good right now."
Gracie got up from her chair and stepped over to Fran to hug her. Maggie and Brighton smiled.
"Oh, B., do you need to ask your teachers if you need to bring an excuse for missing friday morning? Or is it okay if we just sign you in when you come back to school?" Fran asked.
"I'll ask. I can let them know, but I'm pretty sure it should be fine to just sign me in." Fran nodded, and the table got quiet again. Fran looked around the table and caught Brighton trying to hide a twitch.
"Um, kids?" Fran said. "The therapy thing, it counts for you, too. Gracie, I still want you to go to your appointment next week, but if you need to talk to anyone sooner, we can see if we can get you in. Maggie, Brighton- I know you have counselors at school if you need them, or we can see if we can get you in somewhere as soon as possible. I don't want anyone keeping anything in, okay?" Maggie and Brighton looked at each other, then Maggie put her fork down.
"I think it's just the waiting right now, Fran. It's like being stuck in some kind of purgatory or something, you know? We can't do anything, we don't know anything for certain, and maybe it kind of feels like if we bring it up- well, we don't want to make you or dad sad. But we can't pretend like there's nothing going on, either. I mean, at least you and dad are together now, and engaged, so that's something really good to be happy about, and we can look forward to a wedding and all. We're glad that it sounds like once you have the surgery, then you should be fine. But still, I know you worry about us, but we're worried about you. It's not fair that you're going through this." The table got quiet and everyone stopped eating.
"Maggie…" Fran got tears in her eyes, and Brighton rubbed his temple. Max held Fran's hand and looked from her to Maggie, then down at his plate.
"And I know how much daddy loves you, and I can't imagine what he's feeling. I know this isn't anybody's fault, but still- it's not fair." Maggie slumped back in her chair.
Fran put her napkin on the table and got up from her chair, then walked around the table to Maggie. "Maggie, come here, sweetie!" Maggie tried to hold back her tears, but she got up to hug Fran anyway. Then Gracie got up and ran over to hug both of them. Max leaned over on his elbows and covered his eyes, and Brighton cleared his throat and fidgeted and rubbed his temple some more. Fran hugged the girls tight. "I know it's kind of hard right now, and I hope this is the hardest part- all this not knowing. I don't know how we can feel better about things other than spending time with each other, and that's what I really want. And this sadness, and fear, and even being angry at it, it's going to come in waves. And I hope all this is over once I have the surgery. But I still want time with all you guys. Not just having meals together, but hanging out and doing nothing. Okay? I know everybody's going through different emotions at different times, and that's okay. I get angry, too. I love you guys, and I don't think it's fair for all of you to go through this again. And that makes me feel guilty. I know I probably shouldn't, but I do. This is one of those things that can just happen in life, and sometimes the best we can do, besides finding good doctors, is to pull together and take care of each other. So let's do that, alright?" She leaned back from Maggie to look her in the eyes, and Maggie nodded, then Fran looked down at Gracie and lifted her chin to look at her.
"We'll take good care of you, Fran. And daddy, too!" Grace hugged Fran again, then went to her father for a hug. "You okay, daddy?" She asked.
"I'm trying my best, sweetheart. And thank you for the hug, I needed that." Max got up from his chair and gestured for Maggie to come over for a hug, then hugged her tightly.
Fran stood behind Brighton's chair, and she reached a hand over to squeeze his shoulder. "Hey, B.- can you come here a minute?" He put his napkin on the table and she helped him scoot his chair out. His head hung down nervously as he got up, and Fran took his hand and pulled him to her. They hugged each other and she patted his back and looked him in the eyes. "You doing okay?" She asked. He averted his eyes and shrugged his shoulders.
"I dunno. Sometimes. But it's like Maggie said, the waiting. You know?"
Fran nodded and hugged him again. "I think I'd like you to talk to somebody, though. Would you do that?"
Brighton stepped back from her and Maggie sat back down in her chair, and Gracie went back around the table to her place. Niles sat in silence watching everything happen.
"I dunno. Maybe. I don't know if I should go to the school counselor, though. Because of my project. They would know who it was all about, and I don't want to violate your privacy."
"Oh, B! You're more important to me than that! I understand if you're concerned if it might affect them allowing you to continue with it, since it's research and you would have to follow some rules. But the counselor wouldn't violate your privacy and tell the teachers about me. At least I wouldn't think so, school counselors should be trained not to gossip or anything. But think about it anyway, you may be able to talk without saying who I am. Will you think about it?"
Brighton nodded. "Okay. I will." Fran squeezed his arms and hugged him again.
"Okay, guys, let's try to finish breakfast so you can get to school on time!"
Brighton sat back in his chair and Max gave his shoulder a squeeze and gave him an understanding nod. Brighton took a big gulp of his juice to get rid of the lump in his throat. Fran looked over at Niles, who was pushing his food around on his plate.
"Niles? You good?" Fran asked, jolting him out of his spell.
"Oh! Yes, yes I suppose I'm alright, I guess."
"I'll hug you later, okay? Fair enough?"
Niles smiled and nodded shyly. Brighton pushed up his sleeve to check the time on his new watch.
"Oh! I'm gonna have to get going in a second! I need to talk to my teacher before school starts, so I don't have to stay after."
"Now?" Max asked. "Are you going in the car? With Gracie?"
"Oh, sorry, no- I'm gonna walk, or jog up there. That way Gracie won't be at school so early and have to wait around. Is that okay with you, Gracie?"
"Uh, I guess. The driver will take me straight to school?"
"You know, Gracie- I can ride with you when it's time to go, and Dad, would it be okay if the driver took me to school after dropping Gracie off?"
"Sure, we can let him know. Brighton, you're sure you don't want a ride?"
"I'll be fine, it's not that far, and will probably take just as long to get there if I walk or jog as it would if I went in the car. And I think I kind of need the exercise, it'll help me think about everything I need to do. Oh, Niles, which film lab are you taking the film to?"
"Oh- goodness- the one a couple of blocks over, you know the one you pass by on the way to the market? I'll drop it off there and then get some groceries after. Is that one alright?"
"Yeah, I was hoping it was that one, that way I don't have to go too far out of my way after school. Make sure you tell them to do triple prints, okay? And Fran, I'll get some frames and an album for you, too, okay?"
"Thank you, baby! And we probably won't get back here until after you do, so if you need anything then call Niles, okay?"
"Okay," Brighton took one last mouthful of food and chewed quickly, then gulped the rest of his juice and got up. He picked up his dishes and glass and napkin, and then walked around the table to Fran and his father. He awkwardly leaned down and gave Fran a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Fran. And dad." He nodded at his father, then hurried through the kitchen door, put his dishes in the sink, and rushed up the back stairs to go retrieve his things for school.
"Wow! Was not expecting that!" Fran smiled, and looked around at everyone. "You guys are such good kids!" Max smiled and took her hand, and Grace and Maggie smiled at each other.
"I guess Brighton's not always a butthead," Gracie said, and everyone laughed.
"Aw, Brighton's a sensitive guy, just like your daddy. He puts on a tough front, so we just need to watch him sometimes, and make sure he's okay. But he's still your brother, so sometimes he needs to act like one and be a butthead. And you two need to act like sisters sometimes and tease too. But when it all comes down to it, just make sure you have each other's backs, okay?" Fran said. Max looked at all of them fondly.
"Sure, Fran. We fight sometimes, but we'd never really hurt each other," Maggie said, and Gracie nodded in agreement. They all went back to eating breakfast, and Niles got up to refresh his coffee.
"Can I get you two some more coffee? I can brew another pot, too, if you'll want more after breakfast."
"I think I'm good, Niles. I don't want to overdo it," Fran said.
"I'll have some more, Niles, thank you." Niles poured Max another cup, then filled his own. Max poured the cream and sugar in, then Niles did the same, and he walked back to his seat.
"What time will you girls be back here this afternoon?" Max asked.
"Chess goes until four, then Maggie will meet me and I guess the car will bring us back?" Gracie said.
"Yeah, we can tell the driver to get us at four, then however long it takes to drive back afterwards," Maggie said.
"Okay, that sounds good. Then we'll get some time together before dinner," Fran said. Everyone finished their food and sat back to work on their drinks.
"Hey, Gracie, why don't we gather up everyone's dishes and take them in the kitchen? Can you carry yours and Fran's? And I'll get the rest."
"Yes! I can carry our stuff." Fran helped Gracie stack everything and put it into her hands, and Maggie gathered her father's dishes and silverware, and then Niles', and stacked them with her own, then helped Gracie through the door to the kitchen. Fran smiled at Max as they listened to the girls filling the dishwasher, then the girls came back into the dining room and hugged Fran first, then their father.
"We're going to finish getting ready and get our stuff, then I'll go with Gracie and drop her off," Maggie said.
"Thank you two for your help this morning, and have a good day at school. We'll see you this afternoon when you get back, alright?" Fran said.
"Okay, have a good day, you guys! See you later!" Maggie waved, as she and Grace left the dining room.
"Thank you girls for the help!" Niles called after them. Fran took a sip of her coffee, and Max and Niles stirred theirs again, then both took sips. They sat in the quiet for a moment.
"I'll head out at about nine, once the film lab is open. Then I'll go get some groceries afterwards. Ms. Fine, I'll get more shakes so you have enough for the weekend. And I'll see what else I can find that might be okay for you, like broths and such. Is there anything in particular you might want to have before you have to go on that restricted diet?"
"Hmmm… well, we've been doing pretty good with the deli and Chinese. Oh! I know what would be good! Could you make your pot roast, with the potatoes and carrots and your Yorkshire pudding? That would be yummy!"
"Sure I could! Do you want that for tonight? Or tomorrow?"
"How about for tomorrow? But make sure everyone has something nice for the weekend, too. I know I can't eat much, but you all shouldn't suffer, too."
"Alright. How about you, Mr. Sheffield? Anything you might like?"
Max thought for a little while. "You know what might be good- Fran, would you be up for seafood, perhaps?" He asked.
"Possibly- what did you have in mind?"
"I was thinking maybe shellfish? Like- you know those things they do in the south on the coast? What are they called, a low country boil? Something like that? When they dump it all out on the table, or serve it in a big bucket? Only, obviously don't dump the food on the table, Niles. Or even maybe something like a gumbo or jambalaya? That we could have with rice? I'm not sure if you've made something like that, have you Niles?"
"Oh, you know, I don't think I have. At least I'm sure it wasn't quite the same if I did. Are you thinking something with spices, like cajun spices, or just a straightforward boil like they might do in South Carolina?"
"What do you think, Fran? Any preference?" Max looked over at her.
"Hmmm, flavorful spice is good, not so much the heat. I don't think the kids would want much heat. But definitely something like shrimp or crawfish, and corn on the cob would be fine. And rice. You know, something a little like soup you could pour over rice would be wonderful! Or serve in a bucket and we could eat with our hands! Max would love that!" They had a good chuckle at Max's expense.
"You know, I think I have the perfect cookbook I could get some ideas from… and now I'm getting hungry again just thinking about it? Would you two excuse me while I go try to track it down?"
"Sure, Niles. And we'll bring the rest of these things back in the kitchen for you."
"Oh, you don't have to do that, sir, I-"
"It's alright, Niles. We're helping each other, remember?" Fran said.
"Oh, of course! Thank you! I'll get right on finding that cookbook, then I'll be off to run the errands!"
"Okay, Niles," Max said. He looked over at Fran and took her hand and kissed the back of it. "How are you doing, darling?"
Fran finished off her coffee and set her cup down and took Max's hand in hers. "I feel alright, sweetie. Breakfast was good. I know it got a bit emotional there for a while, I'm sorry about that."
"Darling, you don't have to apologize. You handled that very well, though. I was impressed. I wasn't sure where all of that was going to go. I think I kind of froze for a little while."
"Sweetie…" she stroked his hand. "I'm glad Maggie said something. And to even let it show that she had some anger about it. I kind of felt like she was speaking for Brighton, too."
"You do? You think Brighton might have some anger about it?"
"It's possible, but it might be that kind of anger he doesn't want to feel, or show, and he's not sure what to do with it. I saw him twitch, that's why I brought it up- about them going to therapy. And I do want Gracie going to her appointment next week, so we need to figure out how to get her there. Maybe if we need to ask Ma or Val to go with her? Or even if you need a break, it would be okay with me if you took her."
"Oh, I don't know about that Fran. But we'll figure something out. Like I said, I might be a bit clingy. And protective. We'll see how it goes."
"I'll try to remember to mention it to them, just in case we need them. But yeah, Brighton. I know he needs this project- learning about what's going on with me. I think that might be therapeutic for him. That's why I wanted him to keep working on it, to see what comes of it. It's something he can control. And I think Maggie sees it, too. Those two can fight like cats and dogs, but I do think they like each other underneath it all. They care about each other, especially with all this. I think they genuinely want to help each other get through it, and help us. You've got some really good kids there, mister." Fran stroked his hand and smiled at him.
"You know, they're yours, too, now. You have a huge impact on them. And I'm glad you do." Max patted her hand, and looked at the rings on her finger. He squeezed her hand and stroked the side of her ring finger. She watched him, and smiled. He picked up his coffee and finished it off, then stood up from his chair and pulled her up to him. He took her in his arms and they hugged each other. He rubbed her back and shoulders and held her close, and she loved the feel of being in his arms like that. She felt safe and protected, and loved. But the emotions of the morning were still with her. She didn't want to feel the guilt, didn't want the children suffering because of her health. She had to find a way to get some emotional strength back, so they could see that she was able to face what lie ahead. Maybe that's what she should talk to the therapist about. She'd find a way to show her strength, and help them find theirs.
"Darling?" Max asked.
"Mmm hmm?"
"Is there anything you would like to do this morning, before lunch, and before we need to leave for the appointment?"
"No, I don't think so. I know we were supposed to have a lunch date, but can we just stay in today? I think I'd just like to hang out, be lazy. If I do anything, then maybe just a little exercise. But I also kind of don't feel like changing clothes to do that. Maybe after dinner I could walk on the treadmill a little. Or not. We'll just see how things go."
"Okay, that sounds fine with me. We can watch television, maybe bring the paper out there, or if you have any magazines to catch up on."
"Sure. That would be nice. And I'm going to kick off my shoes. If you want to, you can do that too. And take off your tie, and jacket. We'll just relax until lunch, have that here, and then get ready to go to the appointment."
"Alright. Let's get all this back in to the kitchen and help Niles clean up so he can go run errands and get those rolls of film in to be developed. I can't wait to see how they come out!"
"Oh, I know! Right? That will be fun to come home to!"
They gathered their coffee cups and everything else they could carry from the buffet and brought it all through to the kitchen, then set it on the counter. Max went back to the dining room to get the rest and Fran opened the dishwasher and began to fill it with the remaining dishes.
Niles came running down the back stairs, cookbook in hand.
"I found it! And it has quite a few options! I need to add some things to my shopping list!" He retrieved the list he had started from the back counter as Max came back into the kitchen with the last of the empty serving dishes. Niles came back over to sit at the kitchen table with the cookbook, and Max went to the kitchen sink to rinse out the serving dishes. Fran smiled at him as he stepped next to her and they swapped places. Fran washed her hands and dried them off, Max filled and then shut the dishwasher, then washed his own hands.
"Hey Niles? Do you know if the mail was delivered yet?" Fran asked.
"I haven't checked yet, but it's possible. It's been delivered first thing in the morning for quite some time now."
"Okay. Max, I'm gonna go check it to see if I got my new magazines yet. Meet you out there?"
"Sure, darling. I'll be right there. Do you need to take your pill yet?"
"I was going to wait until after the appointment, just to be safe. But I'll bring the other ones with me, just in case."
"Oh, yes, definitely. Alright, I'll grab some water for us and be right out."
"Okay!" Fran hurried out of the kitchen, leaving Niles and Max together. Max walked around the counter to the fridge to grab two bottles of water. Max looked over at Niles, excitedly jotting down ingredients he needed to get at the market.
"Uh, Niles?"
"Yes, sir?" Niles responded, looking up from his list.
"Are you alright? I mean, things did get a little intense in there earlier. But Fran was right about the therapy, if you think you might need to talk to someone, too."
"Oh, ah… yes, it did get pretty, uh, intense for a bit. I think I'm alright. I just- well, I understand the children feeling, well, feeling some anger at the situation. Feeling it isn't fair that she go through this. But I think it bothers me more that Ms. Fine might be feeling any guilt over it. This whole thing is hard for everyone, maybe especially you. It's not her fault, it's one of those damned things that just happens. There's nothing right about it. I don't want her to feel like she's the cause for anyone hurting. It's the blasted tumor's fault." Max went a little pale, but understood completely what Niles was talking about.
"Yes. You're right. I don't want her feeling guilt, either. This waiting is hard, and even though this surgery is coming up fast, maybe that will turn out to be a good thing. If she's carrying any guilt, maybe that will go away once she has the surgery and can start to heal, and get back to her life. To our lives."
Niles nodded and smiled. "You know, if I may add, I think it's a very good thing that you two finally got together, especially right now. Some may say that you're going too fast, but I've known how you two felt about each other, and for how long. And she needs you now more than ever. I'd hate to think of her going through all this without being able to rely on you, without being able to go to you for comfort. So don't ever question yourself or your motives for needing to be with her now. Maybe it was exactly the right timing."
Max softened and thought about what Niles said. Maybe he was right. He walked over to Niles and put out his hand, and Niles shook it.
"Thank you, Niles."
"Anytime, sir." Max turned and headed out of the kitchen with the bottles of water for Fran and himself.
Fran shut the front door behind her and carried the mail to the entry table, and separated out several new magazines from the stack of mail, then made a stack of the mail that was for Max. Max came in from the hallway and joined her at the table. He picked up the newspaper and put a hand at her waist, then she turned her head towards him and they kissed.
"New magazines!" She waved them in the air.
"Do you want to save those for when you're in the hospital? Or recovering back here?" He asked.
"Not really, no. Maggie was going to get some for me anyway, so I should have plenty. If I don't get through these before then, then I'll save them. Here's your mail, it's a big stack today."
"Ug. Probably all bills. Oh, sweetheart- I was just talking to Niles about what went on earlier. I think he might need that hug from you. I think it will help."
"Oh, I almost forgot I told him I'd give him a hug. Is he okay?"
"I think so. But I think it would help."
"Why don't I go do that now, then we can cuddle and read on the couch for a while, and flip through the channels and see what's on. I'll be right back, sweetie." She set the magazines down and hurried back to the kitchen to go hug Niles.
Max picked up her magazines and gathered his mail and the newspaper and headed over to the couch with the bottles of water, set everything on the coffee table and sat back on the couch. He picked up the remote for the TV and turned it on, and left it on one of the morning programs. He picked up the newspaper and opened the first section and began looking through the headlines and reading some of the articles. Moments later, Fran came back out and joined him on the couch.
"Everything okay?" Max asked her, after kissing her lightly on the lips.
"Yeah. He's really a softie when it comes down to it."
"Yes, he is." Fran picked up a magazine and leaned back next to Max, then clutched his arm as she watched a little TV and flipped through the pages of the magazine.
Max read through the articles but none of the information was registering with him. None of it seemed all that important anymore. He found himself only reading a headline and the first paragraph, then he would move on to the next. He was flipping through the pages much more quickly than usual. He tossed each finished section to the side until he made it to the arts and entertainment section. For some reason he paused before starting it, and he wasn't sure why. Was he concerned there might be something there that would get to him? Take his attention away from Fran? He wasn't sure. But nothing would take his attention away from Fran, he knew that for certain. So he began reading the headlines, and didn't bother reading the article if the headline didn't catch his interest.
Fran laughed out loud at something someone said on the TV and it made Max chuckle. He loved it when she had a genuine burst of laughter. It was something she couldn't fake. He looked up from the paper to look at the TV and see what was so funny, watched for a minute with her, then went back to reading. She rested her head against his shoulder and flipped through the magazine some more. Max turned the page of the newspaper and was jolted by a large ad at the bottom of one of the pages. He felt a wave of heat wash over his face and neck and tried to not let Fran notice any change in his demeanor. He looked over the rest of the page quickly, then turned it over before Fran noticed. She was engrossed in an article in her magazine and he didn't want to distract her from it. He made it to the funny pages and briefly read through the advice columns and even the horoscopes then went through and read his favorite comic strips.
"Darling?" He asked softly. "Do you want me to save the comics for you?"
"Oh yes! Please! Thank you, baby!" He handed her that section of the paper and she set it next to her on the couch. She would probably read it after she finished the magazine, Max thought. He wondered if she would see what he saw.
He picked up his stack of mail and opened it all, then separated the bills from the other correspondence, and made a small stack of junk mail that he set on the coffee table.
"Darling, I'm just going to go put this mail in the office and deal with it later, alright? I'll be right back."
"Okay, baby. I'm not going anywhere." Max got up and took the sorted mail with him to his office while Fran finished flipping through her first magazine. She leaned over and set it back on the table and grabbed the bottle of water Max had brought for her and took a couple of swigs, then set it back on the table. She looked at the section of newspaper next to her and decided she would read the funnies before starting the next magazine. She flipped it open to the last few pages and began reading Dear Abby.
Max came back into the living room and sat down next to her again. He saw she was reading the paper, and wondered how long it would be before she found it.
"Do you mind if I flip through the channels? See what else might be on?" He asked her.
"Go ahead, sweetie," she smiled, and went back to reading. He picked up the remote and began flipping through the channels, occasionally glancing over at Fran to see what she was reading- to see if she would find it.
After flipping through most of the channels, Max settled on the classic movie channel. They were airing some shows that went behind the scenes of some classic films from the thirties and forties. He quickly found himself drawn in. He kicked off his shoes and put a foot up on the edge of the coffee table, and Fran followed suit and kicked off her heels, then pulled her legs up onto the couch. After several more minutes, she folded up the newspaper and handed it to Max.
"You read that whole thing?" He asked, teasing.
"No, of course not. Just the funnies. And Dear Abby, but that was boring. Nobody had any juicy problems today."
"Ah. Too bad."
Fran turned to look at him, and gave him a look like she wondered what he was talking about. "Too bad because there weren't any juicy problems?"
"No. Too bad that you didn't read the whole thing." He tried to hold back a grin, but still wanted her to see a little bit of one.
She raised an eyebrow, confused. "Maxwell Sheffield, what are you saying?"
"Oh, nothing. It's probably no big deal." He tossed the folded section of newspaper to his other side, and suddenly Fran felt like it was something she needed to get back.
"Oh, come on, Max! You're teasing me, aren't you? Is there something in the paper I'm supposed to see? What is it? Here, give me that back!" He tickled and teased her as she tried to grab the paper back, and then he remembered that maybe he shouldn't do that, and let her get a hold of it. She swatted him with it. "What is it? What are you being so sneaky about?" Max laughed and ducked as she swatted him again. She sat back and put her feet down on the floor and held the paper up in front of her. Max leaned back in his seat and watched.
She held the newspaper up in front of her and began carefully reading the headlines on each page, not figuring out what Max was hiding from her. She flipped the page again and read through more article headlines, then went back to double check, then went forward again. Then she flipped to the pages right before the comic strips and advice columns began. She read through the headlines, and then she saw it. A big, nearly quarter-page ad at the bottom. Her jaw dropped as she read through it. Max knew she finally found what he was teasing her about.
"What?!" She almost whispered. Her pulse started racing and she began to breathe heavily. Max reached over and rested his hand at the base of her spine. She smiled and almost looked like she might cry. She turned to Max. "Is this what-" Max nodded his head.
"I saw that and must have turned all kinds of colors. I was certain you were going to notice and would want to know what I was being weird about. So what do you think?"
"What do I think? Max! It's a huge bridal expo! But-" she got a little choked up. "Isn't that like… like two weeks from this saturday?"
"Yes. And I was thinking about that part, so I would have one request- well, one requirement…"
Fran looked at him. "But, Max, I'd still be recovering, wouldn't I?"
"Yes, that's why I was thinking that it might be alright for you to go if, well, if you had a wheelchair. That way you wouldn't be trying to walk around that whole place, and carrying all the things I'm sure you would be carrying- all the bags of samples and brochures and what-nots."
Fran thought for a moment. "You think it would be okay? A wheelchair? Somebody would have to push me though, wouldn't they?"
"Yes, absolutely. I wouldn't want you exerting yourself at all. And I mean that, alright? So what do you think?"
Fran got tears in her eyes. "I think I would very much like to go to that! I really would!"
Max leaned over and reached into his back pocket for his wallet, then took out one of his credit cards and handed it to Fran. "Why don't you call their ticket office and get four tickets, alright? For you and your mother, and then you can sort out the other two after that. Take Val if she can go, or maybe Niles, or if one of them can't go, then maybe Margaret might like to go. How does that sound?" Fran took the card from him and wrapped her arms around him and kissed him hard. He held onto her around the waist so they both wouldn't fall off the couch.
"You mean it, Max? Oh my gosh! Ma's going to flip out! And Val, too! Oh! Can I go call them now?"
"Absolutely! Do you want to call from the office? There's a notepad in there if you need it." Max smiled at her excitement. He knew how much it would mean to her to go, especially now that she really did have a wedding she was going to need to plan. Fran folded over the newspaper and got off the couch, then leaned over and kissed Max again.
"I'll be right back! I love you so much, Max! That's the perfect thing to help me recover faster! Having that to look forward to! Oh my gosh, I've never been to a big bridal expo before! I better shut up and go get those tickets! Thank you, Max! Thank you so much!"
"You're welcome, darling!" He watched Fran run to the office to make her phone call. He was grinning from ear to ear. How weird was that? He thought to himself. A bridal expo right after they had just become engaged, and after her surgery, giving her something to look forward to, and would boost her mood, too? He really was happy for her, because he knew how much this sort of thing meant to her. And not just because she loved the idea of marriage and all the preparations that would go into a big wedding, but because it truly was her wedding she could now begin preparing for. He knew how excited she must be getting, he could see it in her eyes- in her tears. He was so glad he had read through the paper and saw it, and made sure she saw it, too.
He heard her voice in the office, she must have gotten through to the ticket office. He smiled and turned back to the television to watch the behind-the-scenes show again. Within a few minutes, Fran skipped back out of the office with a piece of note paper and the newspaper in hand. She hurried to the couch with her arms out, and Max took her in his arms as she sat back down with him, and they kissed. Then she kissed him again and again all over his cheeks and lips.
"You get the tickets?" He asked, knowingly.
"You bet I did! They should come in the mail in the next few days. Thank you, baby! Thank you so much!" She kissed him again, passionately this time.
"Mmmmm!" He sighed. She settled down beside him as they kissed a little more. "You know I love you, don't you, my darling?"
"I do, Max. And I love you. I love you so much!" She stroked his cheek and kissed him again, then they rested their foreheads together. And looked into each other's eyes.
"So, Fran, how are you going to tell your mother?"
She jolted up, and looked at him wide-eyed. "Can I tell her? Now?" Max laughed.
"I think the cordless is in the kitchen, if you want to grab it."
She planted another kiss on him and jumped up and hurried to the kitchen, grabbed the cordless phone, and rushed back out to the living room, almost sliding into the couch and coffee table.
"Careful, darling! I know you're excited, but you've got the tickets, you can relax a little bit now." He reached for her hands and helped her sit down.
"I can't relax. I won't be able to relax until after it's over. And then I'm sure I'll have a ton of things to go through after, and I still won't be able to relax!"
"Well, start by calling your mother, and Val, too, if you can, and at least get that off your shoulders." Fran laughed and started dialing her mother's number.
"Oh yeah, it looks like Niles left, so we have the house to ourselves for a while!" Max raised his eyebrows up and and down at her and she patted his thigh, then curled up next to him as her mother answered the phone. "Ma! It's just me. Everything's fine. Yeah. I just called to tell you to put something on your calendar, something I need you for. Are you in the kitchen? Got a pen? See the calendar? Okay, two weeks from this saturday… yes, that whole day. Reserve that whole day, okay? Because, Ma. I just got us tickets to go to a big bridal expo." Then there was screaming coming through the phone, and Fran and Max laughed as Fran had to hold the phone away from her ear. "Yeah, Ma! It's in today's paper, right before Dear Abby and the funnies, a big ad. Max showed it to me and had me call to get tickets. I got four tickets. I still have to figure out who else is going with us. I need to call Val next. Isn't it great? Oh, hang on, Ma, there's something else I have to tell you. Yeah, I know. I'll still be recovering, so Max said I have to use a wheelchair to go there, okay? That means somebody has to push me around, or people need to take turns doing it, I can't exert myself at all. Okay? Yeah. They'll send the tickets in the mail. Yes! Go get the paper, Ma, it's a big ad a couple of pages before the funnies. Yeah, cut out the ad and stick it on the fridge. Okay. Okay, Ma. I'll tell him. I gotta go call Val now, Ma, to see if she can go, too. I don't know who else, Ma. I think I'll ask Niles first, but I don't know if he'd want to do that much. If he says no, I can ask Maggie. She'd probably love to go. I know! Isn't it weird that they'd have it now? Right when I get engaged? Isn't that fantastic? No, I haven't heard anything about it. Maybe they just started running the ads. Okay, Ma. I gotta let you go, okay? I gotta call Val and see if she's home, otherwise I have to see if I can get her at work. Yeah. Okay, Ma. I'll talk to you later. Or maybe I won't- I don't know if I'll talk to you before the appointment on friday. But you can call me if you need to, okay? Okay, I love you Ma. Yes, I'll tell him. Okay, bye Ma!" Fran pressed the button to hang up, and flopped over to lay back on the arm of the couch. Max reached for her leg and stroked it.
"Is she having a heart attack?" Max smiled.
"Just about! And she says thank you very much and she loves you." Max laughed. "She hadn't looked at the newspaper yet, so I imagine she's cutting it up right now to get that ad out and put it up on the fridge. I think this really made her day. And mine, too. Aside from the obvious, that is…" she wiggled her toes against his thigh. He squeezed her calf and smiled. "Let me see if I can catch Val. I can't remember if she was working today, but I think she probably is. I'll call her at home first." Fran dialed the number and waited. Val's mother answered. "Hi, Mrs. Toriello? It's Fran. By any chance is Val there, or is she at work? She is? Okay, I'll see if I can get her over there. Oh, yeah. Val told you? No, it's okay. Yes, I'm feeling fine at the moment. Thank you for saying that. Yes. On Monday. I'm sure it will, too. Thank you. Okay. Take care. You too. Okay, bye Mrs. Toriello." Max could tell that Val must have told her mother about Fran's tumor. It seemed to suddenly put a damper on Fran's mood. Fran looked up at him and realized he looked concerned. Max reached out a hand and lifted her up to come back and cuddle against him.
"Everything alright?" He asked softly.
"Yeah. Val told her mother. I guess I should have expected that, that people are going to know soon enough. It just caught me off guard, I guess. I suppose I need to get myself ready for that, for needing to tell more people, or to be ready for them to bring it up. I mean, I don't want to hide it. It's just- I don't know, weird, I guess."
"Yes. And you haven't been through this before. This is all new to you. But I think you'll start to feel a little relief after everyone in your circle knows. Outside of that, you don't have to tell everyone you meet. You may only need to say something about it if it comes up in conversation, you know? Then it shouldn't catch you off guard."
Fran looked up at him. She wondered what it was like for him, before, when he had to tell people Sarah had cancer, that she was sick. Did he tell people? Or did he avoid it? She didn't want to ask. That was a different time, and this situation was different. She smiled at him and kissed his lips softly. "Thank you for that. It helps." She took a deep breath, and then dialed the phone again.
"You know Val's work number by heart?" Max asked.
"I know Krispy Kreme's number by heart. Val just happens to work there!" They both laughed. "Oh, hello! I just wanted to ask if I might be able to speak with Val Toriello really quick, if she isn't busy. Okay, great! Yes, I'll hold, thank you!" Max put his arm around her and she rested against him. After a minute or two, Val finally came to the phone. "Val? It's me- Fran! I just had something to ask you real quick. Do you know if you have to work two weeks from this Saturday? I mean the whole day, can you get that whole day off? Because you might want to come with me and Ma that day. Because I have tickets to a big bridal expo! Yes! Find a copy of the newspaper, there's an ad for it in the section with the funnies. Yes! I called on the phone and got the tickets, they'll mail them to me here. See if you can. Oh, and Val- Max wants me to use a wheelchair if I go, so somebody's gotta push me around. I'll still be recovering. I should be able to, unless there's some reason the doctors won't let me. But it should be okay by then. Yeah. Hey, I don't want to get you in trouble at work, okay? Just know I got tickets, and see if you can find the ad, it has all the info. Okay? Yeah, you too! See what they say, and let me know. Okay. Talk to you later! Okay, bye Val!" She hung up the phone and handed it to Max, and he leaned over and set it on the coffee table.
"Everything good?" Max asked, rubbing her back.
"Possibly. She totally wants to go, but they haven't made the schedule for that week yet. Which might be good, because then she might be able to request that day off. I hope she can go. This will be really exciting for her, too." Fran wrapped her arms around Max and he pulled her close, and they watched the end of the program on TV. Then a new program began, and The Little Rascals began to play. It was the one where tiny Spanky had to babysit a bunch of babies and keep them out of trouble.
As Fran watched the mayhem ensue, and listened to Max chuckle, she thought about something she had yet to talk about with Max. At least, not in depth. And she hadn't discussed the "what-ifs" of the aftermath of her surgery. If she had to go on chemo, she may never be able to carry her own child. And if she wanted her own child, she may have to freeze her eggs, which would mean a period of time where she may need to be on hormone therapy, and that would delay the chemo treatments. That scared her. She still hadn't looked at the information the doctor's office had given her about it.
Max enjoyed watching Spanky dragging babies around, but he noticed a slow, quiet change in Fran's demeanor. He wondered if she was still thinking about how Val had told her mother, how it made her a little uncomfortable. He stroked her back softly and squeezed her arm.
"Sweetheart, is there something on your mind right now?" He whispered. Fran stirred, then tightened her hold on him. She turned her head to look up at him.
"How do you do that? How do you know when there's something on my mind?"
He pushed a curl back from her cheek. "You got quiet, and still. And it wasn't because you were trying to go to sleep. At least, I don't think you were trying to sleep, were you?"
"No. I wasn't trying to sleep. I guess- I guess it was all those babies on the TV, and hearing you laugh at them. It just reminded me about… about how there's still that thing we haven't really talked about yet. And I still haven't looked at that information the doctor gave me." She took a deep breath and exhaled, and sat up straight next to him. He moved his arm from around her back and took her hand in his.
"Are you ready to talk? Because if you are, I'm listening." He picked up the remote and turned off the TV, then they rested back on the couch. He coaxed her to relax back with him, then let her take the time to gather her thoughts before she started to talk.
"Um," she started, looking like she was trying to keep the emotions out of the conversation. "Well, you know about the things I've wanted in my life. That I wanted to be married, and have a family. I mean, now that we're engaged, and all that's coming true- and I love those kids like they were my own. But you can understand how I still want kids of my own, can't you? I mean, can you imagine your life without your kids?"
Max shook his head. "No, I couldn't."
"I guess the first part I would need to know, if we're going to be married, is if you want more children. I know it's probably something you didn't think you'd ever have to think about again. But then, the next part is if this tumor turns out to be cancer. If there are any complications, and if I have to go through chemotherapy, then that immediately impacts the whole 'having a baby' thing. I don't think chemo is a kind of thing that can be put off for a long time, like for the length of a pregnancy. And I wouldn't want to risk my life to have a child and then not be around to raise it. When the doctor brought up the idea of consulting with a specialist- that freezing my eggs, or even embryos, might be an option- whether or not I'd be able to carry a baby myself. If things go that way, then it's something I'd really like to do. But I know there would be some kind of medical intervention for that, whatever they have to do to be able to harvest enough eggs. I don't know if going through that would take a long time, and if chemo would have to be put off a while, and if that would be bad. I guess I should go look through that information. But I think maybe I've been pushing that to the side because it kind of scares me. So maybe this kind of thing might be good to talk to the therapist about. And hopefully by this time next week we'll have the answers we need to know about what the future could hold. But before I'd even let myself worry too much about all of that, I need to know how you feel. I need to know if you want children with me." She was trying to be brave, she was trying to hold back tears, because there was still that nagging fear she had that Max would say no, that he didn't want to start over again with a new batch of children to have to raise.
Max looked down at her hand and stroked her fingers around the rings he had given her. Those rings had meaning to him. He wouldn't have put them on her finger if they weren't on the same page about their future together. He kissed the back of her hand, then took both of her hands in his.
"Darling, when we met, I wasn't looking for a relationship. I wasn't looking for my best friend. And the thought of having more children wasn't even on my mind. I'll admit that. Then here comes this woman. This wonderful, spunky, positive woman that completely turned our lives around. When you became my friend, I wanted you to be happy. You deserved happiness. And seeing you date someone else, someone who wasn't good for you, someone who couldn't possibly appreciate you- I know I got jealous, a lot. It's like it was interfering with our family. Our family. I could say that as our nanny that you were a part of the family, but truly feeling it, that you were more than just a nanny, that I had feelings for you that I couldn't deny, when I realized that- I had to decide if I was going to do something about it, or keep pretending it wasn't affecting me as much as it was. I had to face the fact that I needed you in my life. And yes, the thought of losing you scares the hell out of me. Whether it could happen from me pushing you away and losing you to some other man, or, even- with your health. That scares me. I need you. And you deserve to be happy. You deserve to get everything from life that you want. And the thought of being the one who could maybe give that to you- enjoy it with you, that makes me happy." Her eyebrows raised and he gave her a little smile. "I know that you'll be a wonderful mother, Fran. Because you already are. And yes, if having children of your own is a goal you have for your life, then of course I want to be a part of that. I can't even fathom the idea of you having someone else's children, because I want your children to be mine, too. Fran, I gave you these rings because I needed you to know how much you mean to me. It's not an act of some kind of self-centered claiming of you as mine- like property or something. It's a symbol of saying to you that I love you and I desperately want to be a part of your life. And it means I want to give you everything I can possibly give you to make you happy. I want to take care of you. I want a life with you. If part of that is having children together, then yes- I want that too. I kind of like wondering what our children might be like. What they will look like. Who they'll take after. If you want children, darling, then I want to help do whatever it takes to enable that to happen. If we need to talk to doctors, then we will. But of course I'm also hoping that it doesn't come down to that. I'm certain when the time comes to- well, expand our family, that we'll be able to do things the old fashioned way." He smiled at her again. "I love you, Fran. Yes, I would like children with you."
Fran couldn't stop herself from crying now. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him, and he enveloped her in his arms and squeezed her tight. "God, Max, I love you!"
"It'll be okay, darling! It will! I'll take care of you."
"I'll take care of you, too, Max!" She held his face in her hands and kissed him again and again. They held each other close for several minutes as Fran tried to regain control of her tears. "Oh, I'm a mess!" Fran said, trying to wipe her tears off.
"Darling, you're beautiful! Here, let's get you a tissue." They separated from each other and Max leaned over to the coffee table and pulled a couple of tissues from the box, then handed them to Fran. She wiped her eyes and Max pulled her back to him. She pulled her legs up on the couch and Max pulled her knees over his lap.
"Max, thank you for that. I mean it! Gosh, I feel like a huge weight is off me, and I didn't even know it was there."
"I'm glad we talked about that. I think that was kind of looming over us. Come here, darling," he got her situated more comfortably and they relaxed together as he stroked the side of her thigh. "Do you think we need to talk to the therapist about that?" He asked.
"We should probably bring up as much as we can, and let her decide what we might need to talk more about. God, it feels like we're going to have to tell her so much stuff, it'll make her head spin!" They both laughed.
"It feels good to laugh with you," he said, looking into her eyes.
"It does." She caressed his cheek and then leaned her head against his shoulder, nuzzling near his neck.
Max rested his cheek on the top of her head and stroked his thumb on her upper arm as he held her. "It'll be okay, sweetheart. We'll get you through this, and you'll have fun at the expo. We'll be able to start to make some plans for the wedding. And we can make plans to go on vacation in the Spring. We can get ourselves into really good shape, so we'll look fantastic for our honeymoon…" Fran chuckled and clutched his side.
"Yeah… that'll be nice… But I want to spend time with you, too. I'd like to go on dates, maybe watch some movies. I know you still have to work, but if I could steal you away one night a week at least, that would be nice."
"I think we could arrange that." He kissed the top of her head, then lifted his feet and stretched his legs onto the coffee table. She relaxed into him more and they were quiet for a few minutes.
"Would it be okay with you if I laid down here for just a little bit? On the couch?"
"Of course! Are you feeling alright, darling?" He put the back of his hand on her forehead. "I don't think you feel warm."
"Not warm, just tired all of a sudden. Sleepy. I think I just need to rest a minute and I'll be fine. Maybe I just had more stress than I realized, you know. Coming down off of that or something."
"Here, lay your head over here, and stretch out. Let me go grab you a blanket. I'll be right back."
"But stay with me, okay? I'm sure I just need a few minutes. I'll be okay." Max squeezed her hand.
"I know, darling. I'll stay with you. But you can sleep if you need to. It's still a while before we need to leave."
Fran got comfortable on the couch, resting her head on the pillow by the arm. She closed her eyes right away, not able to fight the fatigue she wasn't expecting. Max rushed upstairs to a linen closet and grabbed the first throw blanket he saw, then hurried back down to Fran. He shut the living room light off and came over to her, then opened and spread the blanket cross her and tucked it around her. He checked her forehead again with the inner part of his wrist, just to be sure. She definitely didn't feel like she had a fever, so that made him feel better. But this sudden fatigue still had him concerned. She didn't want him to leave, and he was too worried about her to go far, so he tried to figure out what he might be able to do while he sat with her. Maybe he could get a little work done now, so it would free up more time with her later. He looked down at Fran. She looked like she had already fallen asleep. He quietly tiptoed back to his office and retrieved the stack of papers C.C. had left for him, gathered a pen and a pencil and notepad, and then hurried back to Fran on the couch. He sat down by her feet and set the stack next to him, then looked over at Fran. She looked exhausted. He reached over and softly caressed her hip through the throw blanket, stroked it a few times, then moved his hand to her knee, then calf. He wished there was room on the couch so he could lay there with her. He hoped it would just be a short rest like she had said it would be, but she looked much too tired for that to be true. He would keep an eye on the time and would just let her sleep as much as she needed while he tried to get a little work out of the way. He turned to the stack of papers, picked up the first bundle, set it on his lap, and began to read.