The Bentley pulled up outside of the bookshop. Crowley used the rear-view mirror to fix his hair, trying to make himself look as presentable as possible, and then, once he'd gathered his courage, he left the car and made his way over to the front door.
All of the lights were off, even in the flat above, and Crowley had visions of Aziraphale being away at a bar somewhere, chatting up some human, having completely forgotten all about him.
After a few seconds of increasingly panicked knocking, the lights in the shop came on – Aziraphale must have been hiding away in the backroom - and Crowley felt a wave of relief, which quickly morphed back into panic at the thought of facing Aziraphale.
The door clicked open, and Crowley knew Aziraphale had used a miracle to unlock it for him. He took that as permission to open the door, took a deep breath and then stepped inside.
There was no one there. Crowley closed the door behind him, and then quickly spun around again when he heard footsteps approaching.
Aziraphale appeared from behind a bookcase. His hands were clasped together and there was a guarded look about him. His eyes were red around the edges.
Crowley felt a stab of guilt. "I'm sorry."
"You've nothing to apologise for. It's quite alright."
"No, it isn't. I shouldn't have- Look, I handled that really badly. I just- Let me explain."
There was a tremble in Aziraphale's voice. "You don't have to."
"The thing is," Crowley said, his heart racing. "I'm not anatomically… right."
"Anatomically?" Aziraphale looked confused and then his face flushed pink. "If you prefer being female, I can assure you that's not a problem."
"No, it's not that," said Crowley, and suddenly he felt even more frustrated with himself. He couldn't even have a vulva. "Look. I can't change what I've got in my pants, okay? I'm stuck like this. The same way I'm stuck with these yellow eyes." His chest felt tight, tears of humiliation coming to his eyes. This had been a secret for so long and saying it out loud made him feel nauseous.
"Oh," said Aziraphale, looking surprised and then interested. "Do you have hemipenes?"
Crowley stared at him, bewildered. He hadn't expected Aziraphale to even know what hemipenes were, let alone sound so intrigued by them. "It's not- It doesn't look like a snake's one. And I've only got one. It-" No. He was not going to bloody describe the thing to him. "It doesn't matter. You don't have to go anywhere near it. I was thinking. I could go down on you. Break the curse that way." He quirked an eyebrow and licked his lower lip in an attempt to look sexy, but mostly he just felt pathetic.
Aziraphale didn't seem thrilled by the offer. "Wouldn't you like me to do the same for you?"
Crowley's face scrunched up at the very idea of Aziraphale being forced to put his perfect mouth on him. "No."
Aziraphale deflated. "Forgive me, but I'm concerned you're only offering out of pity."
"For fucks sake, Aziraphale. I fancy you like mad and I want to suck your cock! What's so hard to believe about that?" He forced himself to calm down, to be reasonable about this. "Look, I know this isn't what you were hoping for, or what you imagined being with me would be like, and I wish things were different, I really do." He rubbed at his eyes and let out a sigh. "I understand if you'd rather go with a human – get the full experience as it were. I just wanted you to know... To know that I'm here if-" Tears were threatening to fall, so Crowley turned around and grabbed at the door handle with a shaking hand. "Anyway, I'll give you time to think about it. You don't have to make your mind up just yet. Whatever you decide is okay."
"Crowley," Aziraphale said softly. "Please don't go. If you really do want to be with me. Let's talk about this."
Crowley turned back around, his heart in his throat. "Of course I want to be with you."
Aziraphale looked at him with earnest eyes. He stepped closer and touched Crowley's arm. "It's alright. You're worried I won't like your genitalia?"
Crowley nodded. "M'sorry," he said, drying his eyes on his sleeve.
"Please don't apologise. We'll make this work. Whatever you're comfortable with."
Crowley nodded, hope starting to bloom. Maybe they really could figure this out.
"Would... Do you think you might enjoy kissing?" Aziraphale asked.
Crowley nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! Of course. I can do all sorts of stuff. I just need to keep my trousers on is all."
"You really don't want me to see?"
"It's best you don't see it, believe me. But we can still make out and do other stuff."
"If you want to stay clothed, that's perfectly alright." Aziraphale said. "You're beautiful, Crowley. I need you to know that. Both the human and the serpentine parts of you. You have such lovely eyes."
Crowley scoffed, cheeks burning. He didn't feel beautiful.
Aziraphale's hand was still on Crowley's upper arm. "Do you really think it's never crossed my mind that you might be different down there? That I haven't imagined all the ways you might look, all the ways I might please you? You could never disappoint me. For all that I look human, I'm not. I'm a mass of light and wings and eyes. I adore your serpentine qualities just as much as your human ones. I want to make you feel good - in any way you're comfortable with. I love you so very much."
For a moment Crowley was so overwhelmed by Aziraphale's words that all he could do was stare at him. "Y- You love me?"
Aziraphale turned pink. "I assumed you already knew. I thought I'd been rather obvious about it actually."
"I suspected," said Crowley. "But I never thought you'd say it out loud. I love you too. Obviously. I suppose you already knew that as well?"
"I suspected rather strongly," Aziraphale said with a pleased smile.
Crowley smiled back. He hadn't expected Aziraphale to be so accepting. It even sounded like he'd be willing to see him naked despite his warnings. He wondered how it'd feel to throw caution to the wind and undress in front of him. A part of Crowley wanted to find out. Would Aziraphale still think he was beautiful?
"So..." Crowley said after a moment. "Do you still want that kiss?"
Aziraphale beamed, stepping closer, but then his smile faltered. "You- You are attracted to me, aren't you? You're not just doing this because of the curse?"
"Of course I'm bloody attracted to you, you idiot. You're gorgeous, you're perfect. That arse, those thighs... Hnn… I've wanted you for as long as I can remember."
A smile lit up Aziraphale's face. He was close now, so very close, and Crowley swayed forward and pressed their lips together. The kiss was tentative at first, shy and gentle. Crowley had never kissed anyone before - neither of them had, he realised - and their noses kept knocking together, making them both laugh. Aziraphale's lips were warm and soft, and when their mouths opened and the kiss deepened, he could taste tea on Aziraphale's lips.
"Maybe we should sit down in the back room," Aziraphale said breathlessly.
Crowley nodded, his stomach fluttering, wondering what the next step would be, unsure of how far he'd be willing to go so soon.
Aziraphale must have seen the hesitation in his eyes. "We don't have to do anything. I'll be a perfect gentleman, I promise."
"Sorry."
"You've nothing to apologise for," Aziraphale said. "Besides, I've never done this before either. I'm nervous too. We should take things slow, savour this time we have together." Aziraphale took Crowley's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Shall we make a pot of tea?"
Crowley nodded and gave him a smile. "Yeah."
Aziraphale led him by the hand into the little kitchenette, and then reluctantly let go in order to fill the kettle. Crowley immediately missed the touch of his skin.
Crowley put his hands in his pockets. "I'm sorry I was such an arse when you came to the flat. I panicked. Didn't know what to say."
"It's quite alright, my dear."
"I had visions of you finding out and running a mile." Crowley let out an awkward laugh.
"I would never do that."
"You might if you saw it," he said, and instantly regretted it. He'd intended it to sound like a joke, but he just sounded bitter.
Aziraphale put down the teacups he'd been holding and looked him in the eye. "Crowley, please don't put yourself down like that. I understand you're self-conscious about your body, but you've nothing to be embarrassed about. To me, you're perfect. And besides, I really don't think I'd react how you think I would."
Crowley's mouth felt dry. As much as he hated the idea of talking about it, he needed Aziraphale to understand why he couldn't let him see it. "It doesn't look like a human one. It doesn't even look like a cock. No one could blame you for not liking it. I mean, even I don't like it." His cheeks burned as he dropped his gaze to the floor, eyes stinging.
Aziraphale was in front of him in a moment, wrapping his arms around him. "It's okay."
The kettle clicked as it finished boiling, and Crowley pulled away, attempting to dry his eyes on his sleeve without Aziraphale noticing. "I'll get the milk."
Aziraphale looked at the kettle and then back at Crowley. He started wringing his hands together. "You know... I've fantasised about you – about us being together - a lot, and I must confess, sometimes I imagine you being in your serpent form when we have sex."
Crowley almost dropped the milk carton.
"I'm not saying that I'd expect you to do that with me," Aziraphale said quickly. "Although I'd be more than willing. What I'm trying to say is that I've imagined you with non-human equipment before. Many times."
As shocked as Crowley was by Aziraphale's confession, he couldn't help the smile that spread over his face. "You saucy thing."
Aziraphale's face had turned bright red. He averted his eyes, a smile on his lips as he turned away to make the tea.
Crowley's stomach fluttered, hope blossoming. Perhaps it wouldn't be so terrible if he showed himself to Aziraphale after all. He wanted to be optimistic, but he couldn't help the feeling that Aziraphale would be disappointed. Fantasies were just that: fantasies, and Crowley worried that he wouldn't live up to them.
They took a tray of tea and biscuits into the backroom, and Aziraphale put on some music before sitting next to Crowley on the sofa, foregoing his usual armchair. Crowley sipped at his tea while Aziraphale explained what had happened in the park in more detail. The change in subject was something of a relief.
Aziraphale was becoming quite riled up. "What if the curse had been something truly monstrous? Gabriel would have sacrificed me without a second thought! I'm lucky that demon chose the curse he did, or goodness knows what would have happened. Really, Gabriel was quite irresponsible!"
"What an arsehole," said Crowley. "Imagine if the curse had hit Gabriel though. I don't think he even knows what sex is!"
Aziraphale laughed. "Things certainly worked out for the best." He gave Crowley an affectionate look.
It made Crowley want to kiss him - which he could do now – so he leant closer, and Aziraphale immediately closed the gap between them, kissing him eagerly. They clung to each other, fingers tangling in each other's hair, holding onto the material of each other's shirts. Aziraphale's tongue pushed into Crowley's mouth, making him moan.
Crowley's cock was becoming hard, escaping its vent, and fear shot through him. But he knew Aziraphale wouldn't try to push him into doing something he wasn't ready for, and despite how tight his trousers were, the bulge wasn't too obvious. He was only half hard.
They spent most of the evening kissing on the sofa, getting used to this new level of intimacy between them, and though their hands never wandered far, they were still doing far more than Crowley had ever dared hope for. Before he knew it, the sky was dark outside, and his eyelids were growing heavy.
Over the centuries he'd grown used to having regular sleep, and so, with Aziraphale's gentle encouragement, he rested his head on Aziraphale's lap and then closed his eyes. He fell asleep with Aziraphale's fingers stroking his hair, listening to Aziraphale humming along to the gramophone.
Crowley awoke in the early hours, still curled up on the sofa, still with his head on Aziraphale's lap. Aziraphale was engrossed in a book which he'd balanced on the armrest beside him.
When Crowley sat up, Aziraphale gave him a kiss.
"Good morning, my dear."
"Good morning, angel."
Crowley's eyebrow quirked when he saw that Aziraphale had been reading an old, leatherbound book about demonic curses. "Been doing some research, have you? Is that genuine?"
"I have and it is," Aziraphale said with an embarrassed laugh. "I just wanted to double check what we needed to do to break the curse. Or more to the point," Aziraphale added slyly, "how much we could get away with before breaking the curse. I'd like to make the most of this opportunity. If that's alright with you."
Crowley's stomach twisted, unsure how far he'd be able to go. Instead, he focused on the rules of the curse, trying to push his own shortcomings to the back of his mind. "My understanding of the curse is that you'd have to cum inside of me to break it. Like, in my mouth or my arse." Technically, another way was for Crowley to be inside of Aziraphale at the exact moment Aziraphale came. But Crowley still didn't like the idea of his cock being anywhere near Aziraphale's body, let alone inside of him. So instead of mentioning that, he found himself saying, "Bit rubbish if someone didn't want a cock involved. What about the ladies?"
"Oh. There doesn't have to be a, er, penis involved. You could- The one who's breaking the curse could have a finger or a tongue inside of the cursed person at the exact moment that they climax, and that would break the curse too."
"You mean I could have my finger in your ear at the precise moment you came and that'd work?" He was only half joking, realising he didn't know anywhere near as much about this curse as he'd thought he did. He'd assumed Aziraphale would have to cum in his mouth or his arse and that was all there was to it. It hadn't even occurred to him that the curse could be broken via fingering.
"Er. No. You'd have to have your finger in my anus or my vagina at the moment of completion."
Right. So he could finger Aziraphale or lick inside of him until he came, and that'd break the curse too.
Crowley gave him a playful smile. "A Vagina, huh? Do you like having one of those?"
Aziraphale blushed and everted his eyes, suddenly very interested in the book again. "Sometimes." He looked up at Crowley, suddenly nervous. "But I like having a male body the most. Would you prefer me to be male? You have been rather vocal about fellating me."
"I like both," Crowley said. "I wanna get my mouth on you in every way I can."
And it was true, but even if it wasn't, Crowley felt that it'd be ridiculous of him to turn his nose up at anything considering what he had hidden away in his own trousers.
Aziraphale gave him a delighted smile.
Crowley took the book and scan read a page or two. "So the curse relies on what's going on at the exact moment you climax. So our options for breaking the curse are… You cum while I have my finger or my tongue inside of you, or you cum while you're inside of my mouth or my arse."
"Is anal something you enjoy?" Aziraphale asked, and the look on his face made a shiver of arousal run down Crowley's spine.
As much as Crowley liked the idea of riding Aziraphale's cock, he wasn't sure how to do it while keeping his own cock hidden, but he could get creative.
"Yeah, I really enjoy it. A lot."
"Well," said Aziraphale, moving closer to him on the sofa. "I'd be more than happy to indulge you."
"That's very kind of you, angel."
Aziraphale kissed him, a wet and hungry thing, and when they both returned their attention to the book again, their fingers were entwined.
"Hmm," Aziraphale murmured. "I'll have to be very careful to pull out when I get close - so I don't end up breaking the curse before we're ready."
Crowley was suddenly hit with the mental image of Aziraphale pulling out of his arse at the last second and cumming across his back. Or pulling out of his mouth and then cumming across his face. Fuck, yes.
Crowley quirked an eyebrow. "Are you telling me that you're planning to use the pull-out method?"
"Essentially, yes. If you were to fellate me, but I pulled out at the last moment... I'd still be cursed. We can try all sorts of things before we decide how we want to break the curse. After all, once the curse is broken, I won't be allowed to have sex anymore. And I'd like to make the most of this situation while I can. How does that sound to you?"
Crowley chuckled. "Having lots and lots of sex before the curse gets broken? Sounds perfect to me."
"Wonderful!"
Crowley grinned, looking forward to pleasuring Aziraphale in as many ways as he could.