Episode 7: Paintball Deer Hunter
(Coyler's Note: Alrighty,elimination table time:
Eliminated: 6
22nd: Teruteru Hanamura - Screaming Gophers
21st: Kyoko Kirigiri - Screaming Gophers
20th: Byakuya Togami - Killer Bass
19th: Toko Fukawa - Killer Bass
18th: Himiko Yumeno - Killer Bass
17th: Keebo - Killer Bass
Still in the Running: 16
Leon Kuwata - Killer Bass
Mondo Owada - Killer Bass
Kiyotaka Ishimaru - Killer Bass
Gonta Gokuhara - Killer Bass
Nagito Komaeda - Killer Bass
Yasuhiro Hagakure - Killer Bass
Chihiro Fujisaki - Killer Bass
Gundham Tanaka - Screaming Gophers
Kazuichi Soda - Screaming Gophers
Kokichi Oma - Screaming Gophers
Celeste Ludenberg -Killer Bass
Peko Pekoyama - Screaming Gophers
Mikan Tsumiki - Screaming Gophers
Ibuki Mioda - Screaming Gophers
Kirumi Tojo - Screaming Gophers
Miu Iruma - Screaming Gophers
That's it for now dudes,dudettes and everything in between. Coyler,out!)
Chris stepped out of his trailer,hitting an intern delivering him coffee, "Let's take a quick recap about what happened last time here on Total Drama Island;
The Killer Bass and Screaming Gophers were sent on a nice row up the creek to the spooky wildlife infested location of Boney Island! While there they experienced many many things. For the Gophers they played dirty by trying to throw off the Bass,got chased by beavers and then Kirumi flirted with Tanaka. Meanwhile the Killer Bass learned about Gonta's thoughts on what a captain is,Keebo lost a leg and Mondo started a fire which won them the challenge. Later that night at the bonfire ceremony it came down to two campers,Miu who got everyone lost in the first place and Fujisaki who...well...didn't really do much I guess. BUT in an incredibly shocking and unforeseen turn of events it was Keebo who decided to quit the game and walk the Dock of Shame after getting busted up one too many times,in which after I decided to spare Fujisaki by moving her to the Killer Bass. Will Kirumi attempt to make another move on Tanaka? Will Hagakure approach Tanaka about his business idea? Is this entire episode just going to be about the other campers lusting for Tanaka? Who knows,you'll just have to stick around for the latest instalment of Total! Drama! Island!".
CONFESSIONAL START
Chihiro Fujisaki (Killer Bass): Getting put on the Bass last night was pretty awkward. They were eating dinner when Chris brought me in and told them I'd be joining them since Keebo left. At least some of them were cool about it,Ishimaru welcomed me in with open arms but was very serious about it like I was joining the military or something.
Kiyotaka Ishimaru (Killer Bass): I believe I made Fujisaki feel like a proper member of the team! At least now we finally have another woman so Celeste might not feel left out anymore while us men bond in our manly ways like carving,fishing and pissing with one urinal apart from each other.
CONFESSIONAL END
"You guys ever take a minute to think about the fact 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' doesn't change if you remove Indiana Jones from the film" said Nagito as the Killer Bass ate their breakfast. Mondo was confused, "What're you talking about? It's called 'Indiana Jones',his name's in the fucking title". Celeste raised a hand, "Don't ignore the comment,allow the man to elaborate first before passing judgement" she explained. "Thank you Madame" Nagito smiled, "Now,when you look at it from a logical point of view if you were to remove Indiana Jones from the film the outcome is still exactly the same as the Nazis still discover the ark,go to the island,open it,die and lose it forever. See,he has no real involvement in the plot" he explained. "Wait wait wait" Hagakure interupted, "Didn't Jones find the ark before the Nazis did?". "Well yeah but if you remove Jones they would've just found it straight away" Nagito smirked. The guys all made sighs and 'disappointed noises'. "It's 7:25am and he's already ruined something,a new record" Leon grumbled. "I can point out flaws that ruin other pieces of media too if you wish? It's these kinds of incidents that help us build up durability to embody true Hope!" Nagito exclaimed. "Shut up man" Mondo said quickly,smacking Nagito across the back of the head. "Knock it off you two,we don't need roughhousing among our new member" Ishimaru scolded as he walked and smacked Mondo on the head too. "I-I don't mind, it's alright" Fujisaki smiled meakly. "Nonsense! Never fear to speak your mind among us Chihiro! For it is our honest comradery that allows us to seize victory!" Ishimaru declared. "Haven't we lost four people in a row?" Leon pointed out. "Ayup" Mondo grunted,kicking his feet up on the table and lighting up a cigarette. Celeste covered her mouth and coughed, "If you're going to ruin your lungs,might I ask that you do it outside?". Gonta nodded in agreement, "If it not too much trouble, Gonta would appreciate it Mondo! The smoke can get into Gonta's food you see!" he exclaimed kindly. Mondo rolled his eyes and put the smoke out with the palm out his hand.
CONFESSIONAL START
Mondo Owada (Killer Bass): Whatever happened to the good ol' days where men could be men and light one up wherever they wanted? If they got a problem then why couldn't they have just left and ate their food on the porch? God!
Leon Kuwata (Killer Bass): Baffles me as to why Mondo smoking at the table is such a big deal, I walked in on Hagakure ripping a bong in the bathroom the other day and no one made a fuss then.
Yasuhiro Hagakure (Killer Bass): *lights up a weed blunt and takes an inhale* WOO THAT SHIT PERKS ME UP IN THE MORNING! GOD DAAAAYUM!
CONFESSIONAL END
"Do you think those guys will ever be able to get through a day without fighting?" Kazuichi asked as he ate his breakfast. Peko shook her head, "Not likely,however as long as their conflict continues then our victories can be assured". Miu rolled her eyes, "Are you forgetting that we LOST yesterday?! The only reason Fujisaki didn't get sent home and got put on the other team is because that sexy robot quit the game" she exclaimed in annoyance. "I'm sorry, did you just refer to Keebo as 'sexy'?" Kirumi asked with a frown as Miu nodded. "I could've sworn you were looking to get your rocks off with that biker guy" snarked Kokichi from under the table. Miu scoffed, "Tch,I'm over that guy,pretty sure he's gay. Last night I was going to take a shower to wash away our loss when I saw him and that hall monitor dork swordfighting or something" she explained. Gundham raised an eyebrow, "What exactly could be...homosexual about two men engaging in armored combat?". "Did I leave out the part about them using their dicks instead of swords?" Miu asked as Mikan,Ibuki,Kazuichi and Gundham spat out their drinks,Kokichi laughed and Peko and Kirumi attempted to stifle laughter. "My my,sounds like those are getting all 'extra curricular' if you get what I mean" Kokichi joked.
CONFESSIONAL START
Miu Iruma (Screaming Gophers): Was it weird to witness something like that with my bare eyes? Did I have the option to ignore it? Did I stay and watch the entire thing? Heh,duh!
Kokichi Oma (Screaming Gophers): Sounds to me like those guys are taking the term 'Bros before Hoes' to an all new level! *insane laughter*
CONFESSIONAL END
"Attention Campers! Meet me outside at the totem pole PRONTO!" Chris yelled through the window with a megaphone while the contestants covered their ears. "Aw man,is it reaaaaally time for another challenge? I'm still sleeeeeepy" Ibuki whined. "You have only yourself to blame for your lack of stamina after spending all night playing Uno" Gundham muttered in response. "You heard it too huh?" Kazuichi replied. "At least you don't have to sleep in the same room as her" Kirumi whispered to Gundham with a chuckle.
(Totem Pole)
"Welcome friends,glad you could all make it" Chris smiled. "Pfft,we're acquaintances at best brah" Hagakure snarked. Chris rolled his eyes, "Whatever man. ANYWHO,I've called you here today to announce your next challenge! And believe me,it's sure to be a fun one! Both teams will be embarking on an all out epic paintball hunt,but with a twist" he grinned. "What kind of twist? Like a tornado?" Mikan asked nervously. "The teams will split into two halves. One half will be hunters with paintball guns,camo hats and snazzy paint protector shades,while the other half will be deers! Equipped with fake ears,fake noses and little tails" he joked,pulling out the different pieces of equipment, "The goal is pretty simple. The hunters will be going after the deer on the opposite team,whichever team either eliminates all their opponent's deers first or eliminates the most within the time limit wins the almighty immunity,while the losers will be sending someone home...good luck Bass,you'll seriously need it".
CONFESSIONAL START
Mikan Tsumiki (Screaming Gophers): O-Oh d-d-deer! I'm a t-terrible shot!
Gonta Gokuhara (Killer Bass): Gonta hopes that Gonta can be deer! After all,Gonta knows that shooting bugs and friends is bad,not gentleman at all!
CONFESSIONAL END
"What's the deal with these hunters and deers then,eh?" Mondo asked, "Because I can tell you now there ain't no way in hell I'm gonna spend the day prancing round the woods with ears and a fucking fluffy tail man". "Why not? Might suit you" said Leon sarcastically. "Shut up man!" Mondo yelled,punching the baseballer in the shoulder. "Sooooooo...you don't wanna be a deer?" Chris asked with a grin. Mondo didn't say anything,he just grabbed Chris by the shirt and lifted him up with some angry man noises. Chris put his hands up, "Alright! Alright! Relax buddy! I was just...palling around y'know?" he chuckled nervously, "Geez".
CONFESSIONAL START
Chris McLean (The Host Man): Should probably look into updating my contract so that the contestants can't hit me. After all,can't exactly grace the viewing audience with my absolute perfection if I'm getting busted up by teenagers and sent to the hospital on a stretcher, heh heh.
CONFESSIONAL END
After Mondo had put Chris down,the Host brushed himself off and pulled out a clipboard while Chef approached with the needed equipment. "Okay-dokey,let's get this show on the road shall we? Mondo,Chihiro,Hagakure,Nagito,Kazuichi,Miu,Mikan and Peko,you guys and gals are gonna be the mighty hunters who will rock out with the cool guns and camo gear. As for the rest of you,you'll all be the deer...or 'prey',if you prefer" Chris laughed as he finished listing the roles while Chef handed out everything. Chihiro raised a timid hand, "Q-Question,is it required to shoot someone? I'm not exactly the most steady handed in the world". Chris shrugged, "Honestly it doesn't really matter as long as your whole team manages to hit the most targets". "Forget having to shoot people,do I really gotta wear this dumb tail and ears? If my buds back home see this they'll think I'm a damn furry or something" Leon complained. "Unfortunately it's an absolute must that you wear them Leon" Chris replied with a smirk, "But since I'm such a nice and caring guy you can get rid of the nose". Leon pouted, "Hmph,fine". Chris checked his watch, "Deer Dudes and Dudettes,the clock is now ticking so get a move on,pronto!" he exclaimed as Chef blew an airhorn, "Hunters,hang back for a few minutes. We'll let you know when to make your move".
CONFESSIONAL START
Kirumi Tojo (Screaming Gophers): This attire is...embarrassing to say the least. I suppose I should've expected such when competing on a reality show like this. Normally I wouldn't mind,but there is someone I'd like to...well...impress.
Gundham Tanaka (Screaming Gophers): *he looks at the deer ears with an annoyed frown and puts them on,though they cause his hair to split straight down the middle and cover his face like curtains* Truly it is certain,this is not a good look for me.
CONFESSIONAL END
(Cave - Bass Deer)
Having gone into the forest,the Bass were unsure of what to do. All they had to do was not get shot by the Gopher Hunters. Simple enough,right? In order to avoid capture,Gonta had led the group to a cave he had been using to spend alone time whenever things at camp got too much for him to handle. "How long are we gonna be here for man,I'm mega bored" Leon grumbled. "We'll stay put until our victory has been assured Leon,no risks shall be taken" Ishimaru explained. "Believe me,a dirty cave like this is no place for someone of my type either,yet you don't see me complaining that much" Celeste remarked. Leon rolled his eyes, "That's because the last time you whined,Mondo knocked your damn lights out". "Ah, please don't bring up violence! We must work together as team!" Gonta exclaimed with gusto, "That's why Gonta bring you to Secret Bug Cave! So we can hide from other team!". "Um...did you say bugs?" Celeste asked,instinctively scratching her back to swat away something that could feel crawling up it. Gonta nodded with a big smile, "Yes! This Gonta's favourite place on island to find bug friends!". Ishimaru stood on a rock to reach Gonta's height and patted him on the back, "I appreciate you thinking of our well being Gonta,a very gentleman thing to do indeed". Gonta gasped and looked at Ishimaru in awe, "WOAH! DID YOU SAY GENTLEMAN?!". Ishimaru laughed, "Of course I did!". Gonta hugged the moral compass,unintentioally crushing most of his bones, "Thank you Ishimaru! Gonta strives to be great gentleman!". Ishimaru coughed, "Y-You're welcome Gonta *cough* All in the n-name of teamwork!" he spluttered. "Aw,how utterly adorable" Celeste remarked sarcastically,making Leon laugh. Ishimaru rolled his eyes at the comment,though Gonta didn't hear it.
CONFESSIONAL START
Kiyotaka Ishimaru (Killer Bass): *he rubs his back* Gonta really is a lot stronger than he seems,which is saying an awful lot considering he's a walking tower of muscle *he turns slightly and causes a loud crack,making him sigh in relief* ooh there we go,that was the right spot.
CONFESSIONAL END
(Middle of the Woods - Gopher Deer)
"Words cannot describe how ridiculous I feel in these abhorrent accessories" Gundham scolded, "Certainly I,Tanaka the Forbidden One am much too high of an entity for this!". "Relax Tanaka. You're a HUGE animal fan,if anyone should be getting a kick outta this it's you!" Kokichi laughed as Gundham scowled. Ibuki clicked her fingers, "I dunno about you guys,but I got a totally rocking way to win easy! See if you gotta be hunted like a deer then you gotta think like a deer! Ergo I put myself in the mindset of a deer so that I can avoid capture" she explained with a smile. "That sounds...ridiculous" Kirumi sighed. Ibuki rolled her eyes and spun on her heels, "Whatevs! You guys'll be the ones not saying that when I'm the only one not to be shot" she chortled,prancing off into the bushes on all fours like a deer. Gundham and Kirumi both face palmed,while all Kokichi could do was laugh.
CONFESSIONAL START
Ibuki Mioda (Screaming Gophers): *slighty beat up* If there's one thing I've learned from today - never pretend to be a cute and furry animal during open season.
Kokichi Oma (Screaming Gophers): On a few occassions of this show when I've gotten time alone to think,I often find myself asking my head if everyone here on this show is a complete and utter lunatic...no joke,that isn't even a lie!
CONFESSIONAL END
Gundham stood on top of a large rock and majestically looked off into the horizon towards camp upon hearing the sound of an airhorn being blasted, "The time of predator versus prey is upon us. NEVER FEAR! My steadfast resolve shall ensure our victory!" he declared with gusto,punching a fist into the air while the wind blew his hair and scarf gently. Of course,Kirumi quietly pulled out her phone to take a picture and then put it back into her pocket. He jumped down and landed between Kokichi and Kirumi,clicking his fingers to signal them to follow him. Glancing at each other,the two shrugged and followed the wizard deeper into the woods.
(Totem Pole)
"Alright guys,suit up!" Mondo yelled,slapping on his safety goggles and camo hat. Hagakure picked up his paintball gun, "Aw sweet,this is gonna be awesome brah!". "Fun it may be,but alas I'm such a hopeless shot" Nagito sighed dramatically, "Maybe with the shining hope of my team I can do my very best". Chihiro patted Nagito's back,not realising Nagito was just looking for attention. "We gonna split up to cover more ground or what?" asked Hagakure. Mondo slung his gun over his back, "Do whatever you want,I'm going solo on this one" he grunted as he ran off into the woods alone. "O-Oh...uh...right" Hagakure muttered,turning to look at his other teammates. "WELL! GUESS THAT MEANS WE'RE HITTING THE ROAD TOGETHER DUDES,C'MON!" he cheered with excitement. "woo!" Chihiro replied. "With my epic leadership skills we'll be sure to win,no problemo!" smiled Hagakure. "Such bold and brilliant hope!" Nagito exclaimed,wiping away a tear, "It's so beautiful!".
"Hey guys,looks like they're making their move" Kazuichi pointed out, "Do we seriously gotta plan out what to do? We just gotta shoot the people without guns,it's easy!". "Hmm,I wonder if I could combine two rounds into one" Miu pondered as she tinkered with her gun. "A plan of attack is an upmost important thing when enganging in combat. You would be wise to be mindful of it Kazuichi" Peko explained coldly. "Pfft,if you say so" Kazuichi muttered as he leaned against the totem pole with his arms folded. "B-But what if I were to fall and accidentally shoot myself?" Mikan whispered nervously. Peko rolled her eyes, "You will be fine Mikan. Please stop worrying about it".
CONFESSIONAL START
Peko Pekoyama (Screaming Gophers): I am aware that Mikan does not have the most confidence or strongest resolve in the world,however that doesn't mean she doesn't irritate me to indescribable levels.
Kazuichi Soda (Screaming Gophers): Y'know in my head's telling me we ain't winning this one. Bet.
Chihiro Fujisaki (Killer Bass): I was a little nervous at first when I was putting on the hunting stuff,but Hagakure managed to always make me laugh throughout the challenge. He's a really nice guy,I don't know why Ishimaru and the others were complaining about him this morning.
Yasuhiro Hagakure (Killer Bass): *doing a Seth Rogen impression* Here's some grass,it has many things it can do. Grow,create flowers,be food for animals,but you know what else you can do with grass? Smoke it,heh heh.
CONFESSIONAL END
(By the River - Woods)
Mondo carefully edged his way through the sticks and brambles of the forest,keeping his eyes pealed. He knew that for something like this his targets could be hiding anywhere,it was all just a matter of staying calm and waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. Pushing through a large bush,he found himself at a large river,the very one Gundham had used to go fishing during the camping challenge. "Hmm,doesn't to be anything he-" Mondo began,before hearing a sudden rustling. Quickly he scaled a tree and sat atop a branch with some leaves for cover. The rustling was revealed to be Ibuki,still walking on all fours. "OOH! A RIVER!" she exclaimed, "Wait,is it safe to drink river water without a filter?" she wondered, "OH WAIT! DUH! I'M MEANT TO BE A DEER,THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT THE CLEANLINESS OF THEIR DRINKS!" she laughed as she began drinking from the river...with Mondo looking on with a look of absolute bamboozlement.
CONFESSIONAL START
Mondo Owada (Killer Bass): What the fuck was I watching?!
CONFESSIONAL END
Shaking his head,Mondo pulled out his gun and steadied it to take a shot. "Don't move now...nice and still now...stay there for ol' Mondo" he whispered to himself, "A hush over the crowd as Mondo Owada prepares to fire. The air is kinda calm and the target is locked. And now watch as MONDO TAKES THE SHOT WHILE CALLING EVERYONE A FUCKING CUNT!" he roared as he fired a barrage. Ibuki gasped when she heard the shouting and quickly darted into some large bushes. "AW INTO THE RIVER!" Mondo yelled in annoyance as all of his shots went straight into the water, "FUCK!". He put his gun on his back and proceeded to fall from the tree. Stumbling to his feet,he gave chase to Ibuki, "YOU MAY HAVE ESCAPED ME FOR NOW! BUT I'M GONNA FILL YOU WITH BULLETS EVEN IF IT KILLS ME DAMN IT!" he roared in triumph. Ibuki stuck out her tongue at him, "Never gonna happen!".
(Open Field)
"GAH!" Kokichi yelled as he dived behind a rock to avoid an incoming shot. "C'mon brah don't fight it,y'know it's just a matter of time" Hagakure laughed as he and Nagito spun their guns trying to do fancy tricks. "I WILL NEVER SURRENDER!" Kokichi shouted,waving a fist in the air,though he retracted it with haste after Nagito tried to shoot it. "It doesn't matter where we hit them,right?" Nagito asked,raising an eyebrow. Chihiro shook her head, "I don't think so,just as long as we hit them anywhere it should count". Hagakure planted his wrists on his hips, "Ya hear that man? WE CAN DO THIS ALLLLLL DAY!". There was a silence as no witty response came back to them. "U-Uh... dude did you hear me? I said we do this ALLLLLL day" Hagakure repeated. Again there was no response. Nagito leaned close to the stoner and whispered, "I think he might be gone".
CONFESSIONAL START
Kokichi Oma (Screaming Gophers): Heh,I'm hiding in here! What are the chances I'd find myself right next to the confessional near camp? Awesome!...kinda weird that I ended up back here though,I could've sworn I was following Tanaka and the Mommy Milkers Maid but somehow got lost *he scratches his head* Weird,right?
CONFESSIONAL END
The Bass trio walked over to the rock Kokichi had been hiding behind,obviously being annoyed that he'd escaped. "You think he's hiding in the confessional?" Nagito asked as he walked over. Hagakure tapped his chin, "Only one way to find out" he said as he approached the toilet stall with the stance of Dio. Standing next to the door he took a deep breath, "Red Robin!". "YUM!" Kokichi replied sticking his head out, "OH SHIT!" he screamed as Nagito and Hagakure threw open the door and filled the inside full of paintballs. Within a few seconds,every square inch of the confessional's interior,including Kokichi,had been decimated with paint. The Bass trio laughed as Kokichi blinked,showing his eyes to be the only part of him not painted over. "Well dang,I guess you got me good" Kokichi laughed, "Say,you haven't happened to see Tanaka and Kirumi have you? I lost them a while ago". "No,we haven't found them yet" Chihiro replied, "You're the first person we managed to catch". Kokichi snapped his fingers, "Well ain't that fun" he said through a gritted teeth smile. "So like...do we take you with us or...?" Nagito pondered,looking around. Kokichi shrugged his shoulders, "Meh,I think I'm just gonna go get something to eat,all this running around has made me hungry". He began walking off,though the second he entered the open space a paintball flew in and shot him in the crotch. "OW! COME ON,I'M ALREADY OUT!" he shouted. "SORRY! DIDN'T KNOW!" Mondo called back from the bushes across the field before disappearing once more. Hagakure hit his chest with his fist, "ONE DOWN,PROBABLY THREE TO GO! LET'S GO GUYS!". "Woo!" Nagito and Chihiro cheered. "This is actually pretty fun!" Chihiro laughed.
As the Bass walked off,some eyes watched them leave. Across the way in some bushes,Gundham laughed to himself and rubbed his hands while Kirumi held some binoculars in front of his eyes, "You see Maid of Darkness,now that Kokichi is gone the opposing team will be lulled into a false sense of security. If we follow their every move then their artilery based superiority shall be their DOWNFALL!" he shouted while shaking a fist and causing lightning to strike dramatically behind him without causing damage. "How do you always do that? Just summoning lighting at will?" Kirumi asking,putting a finger on her chin. Gundham folded his arms and smirked, "An all powerful being such as myself NEVER reveals their secret methods!".
(Gonta's Cave)
"Is there any context behind this meeting or is it just that you both happen to meet by coincidence?" Ishimaru asked curiously. "Yeah sure it's a coincidence,just pick one already" Leon groaned. Ishimaru rubbed his chin,deep in thought, "Hmmmmmmmmmm,the choice is quite difficult". "It's sex/marry/world tour,not choosing a job career" Celeste scoffed. Ishimaru shook his head, "Fine! Fine! I'd go around the world with David Attenborough,marry Wario and have sex with Mondo". "Seriously,you'd go with Attenborough for around the world?" Leon remarked. "Think of educational learning!" Gonta replied, "Mr Attenborough is like Bug King!". "True,true" Leon agreed. "Remind me again,who is Wario?" Celeste asked. "Tch,my favourite Mario character" Leon snarked, "He's fat,eats garlic,is a registered property owner,licensed business entrepreneur and has two whole game series about him". Ishimaru nodded, "Indeed,not only is he a great man in terms of achievements but he must be a smart man given all those feats". "Finally you'd actually engage in...activities with Mondo?" Celeste asked,smirking. "Indeed! We are both strong,masculine and beautiful men! It is nothing to be ashamed of at all,and is in fact a fantastic way to strengthen friendships!". Leon and Celeste both laughed,but Gonta scratched his hair. "Is that something gentlemen do?" he asked. "Of course!" Ishimaru smiled, "Truly there is no better way for two men to bond than a circle jerk!". Gonta had a thought, "Oh! Gonta sees now!". He whipped off his belt,causing his pants to drop and reveal his...well...Gokuhara Snake. Celeste averted her eyes,Ishimaru was shocked and Leon was amazed. "Holy shit look at the size of that thing!" he exclaimed, "One railing from that on a Gay Tuesday and I could walk on both sides of the street at the same time!".
CONFESSIONAL START
Celeste Ludenberg (Killer Bass): Words cannot describe how much I desire that image to vacate my head. How ghastly. *she looks around the confessional at all the paint* What in God's name happened in here?
Leon Kuwata (Killer Bass): Let's be real dudes,it's NEVER gay when it's with The Bois. *he thumps his chest* Respect diggity dawgs.
CONFESSIONAL END
Outside the cave,the Gopher Hunters were finally walking around. As they passed,Kazuichi heard shouting from within. "Pst,guys! I think someone's in there!" he whispered. Peko and Miu leaned in and heard the shouting going on from within. "LET'S GO!" Miu yelled as she jumped over a rock and ran inside. Kazuichi and Peko prepared their guns and followed after the inventor,while Mikan stood outside on guard with shaky legs. "WHOO BOY! PREPARE TO GET SHOT GANGSTA STYLE!" Miu exclaimed as the three hunters ran around the corner. Entering the main room,they were met with an embarrassed Celeste,a star struck Ishimaru,a testosterone filled Leon and a pantsless Gonta. They gasped in shock when they saw Gonta's "weapon" out free for all the world to see. "AH! RETREAT!" Kazuichi screamed,as the three covered their eyes and dashed back outside,falling over rocks as they went and leaving the Bass in bewilderment. "D-Did you get any?" Mikan asked with a hopeful smile. "No." Peko,Miu and Kazuichis snapped back simultaneously. "All in favour of forgetting what we saw and gathering the strength to go back in there later?" Peko asked. Kazuichi nodded, "Yep,sounds good to me". "I don't got no issue" added Miu, "But how do we catch them all when they Gonta's master gun out like that? The entirety of the other team's deer are in there together,we can't just leave and let them escape" she explained. "We just need to wrack our brains,I'm sure we can come up with something" said Peko calmly.
CONFESSIONAL START
Mikan Tsumiki (Screaming Gophers): I'm not sure w-what happened in there,but at this point I'm afraid to ask.
Kazuichi Soda (Screaming Gophers): Not exactly sure how I can sleep at night knowing Gonta of all people is packing the largest sword on the island...like DAYUM!
CONFESSIONAL END
(Bushes)
"The time is 3pm in the middle of the day,I've identified the target" Mondo monologued to himself ominously as he watched Ibuki eating wild berries off of a bush. He pulled out his gun and aimed carefully,firing off a shot. The paintball flew through the air and barely missed Ibuki's face by a few inches,though she darted off in fear upon seeing the shot. Mondo charged out of the bushes and gave chase,following her up the giant cliff used on the first day for the diving challenge. "Haha! You'll never catch me Higashikata Josuke!" Ibuki jeered as she continued to prance up the slope, "The win will be mine for sure!" she chortled. "Heh,that's what you think" Mondo smirked as he climbed the slope. Within a minute they had both reached the top,Ibuki realising that she might have made a mistake as she came to the edge of the cliff. "Uh oh,looks like a dead end" she said to herself,looking at the large drop. A stomp came from behind as Mondo took his stance. "Thought you could run forever huh? What'd I tell ya? I'D GET YA NO MATTER WHAT!" he shouted. Ibuki gulped, "A-Are you mad about earlier? C-C'mon buddy old pal,I was just joshing you" she chuckled nervously, "Y'know if you shoot me,an innocent girl deer person,y-you'll never be able to live with yourself" she said,trying to bargain. Mondo hocked some spit on the ground and held his gun sideways with one hand like a gangster, "Hasta la vista. Baby.". With that Mondo fired a single shot,hitting Ibuki directly in the face on her nose and causing her to fly backwards off the cliff in slow motion. As she fell,Mondo stood on the edge,folded his arms and looked off into the horizon while lighting up a cigarette. Ibuki may have won the battles,but it was him who won the war.
CONFESSIONAL START
Ibuki Mioda (Screaming Gophers): THAT WAS FUN! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!
CONFESSIONAL END
(Outside the Bug Cave)
Silence was in the air as Kazuichi,Miu,Peko and Mikan sat in a circle with their eyes closed and arms folded as they thought of potential plans to avoid another brutal attack. "Grenades." muttered Miu, "What if we get loads of paint,put it in a grenade and then throw it in to get them all at once". Peko nodded, "I see,I see. Tell me,how would we go about such a task?". Miu shrugged, "Not a clue,but I'm sure we'll think of something if we just slap a bunch of things together". "So some trial & error,eh?" Kazuichi asked, "Not an awful suggestion but we gotta conserve ammo here y'know". "True,true" Miu agreed. "I may have an idea" Mikan replied as she feabily raised a hand, "What if we throw a paintball inside and then shoot it? Wouldn't that have the same affect as a grenade?". There it was,a genius lightbulb moment that they needed after pondering ideas for an hour. Picking up a paintball from one of his cartridges,Kazuichi tossed inside. It rolled along the ground and landed against Celeste's foot. She raised an eyebrow,unsure of how it had gotten there. Though she was about to ask the guys,she didn't want to interrupt the conversation they were having about comparing the sizes of their masculine parts,that being the reason she hadn't turned around at all. Suddenly a paintball was fired,flying through the cave and colliding with the one in Celeste's hand,covering from head to toe in paint. She screamed in surprise,collapsing to the floor and causing the guys to jump in surprise. "IT'S A HIT!" Leon screamed as he ran behind Gonta for protection. "Ow! They got me good" Celeste groaned,rubbing paint off of her face. "WOAH! FUCKING BULLSEYE!" Miu cheered, "I GOT ONE!" she yelled in excitement. "They're bound to make a push any second now,we must leave now!" Ishimaru yelled. "Don't worry! Gonta knows of secret exit!" Gonta blurted out. "We'll save you Celeste!" Ishimaru declared,taking a step forward. At that moment a flurry of paintballs flew through the entrance and coated the walls and Celeste. "Fuck it,leave her there!" Leon shouted,as he ducked down and ran. "Sorry Celeste,one of us had to be bait" Ishimaru apologised, "GET US OUT OF HERE GONTA!". Celeste picked herself up slightly,covered in paint, "I hate you guys" she whispered before collapsing face first on the ground.
CONFESSIONAL START
Kiyotaka Ishimaru (Killer Bass): I do feel some guilt for having to leave Celeste behind,however it was merely for the sake of the team. After all,she'd been hit already meaning it would be pointless to bring her with us. Considering there was Leon and Gonta to watch over it was merely a matter of picking the many over the few in a choice with very little time to consider every option.
Miu Iruma (Screaming Gophers): MAN,I'M SUCH A FUCKING GENIUS!
CONFESSIONAL END
Peko walked over to Celeste and bent down, "Tell me,where did they go?" she asked. Celeste coughed, "I'll never talk". "Tell us where they went or Kazuichi will vigoursly flirt with you" Miu threatened. Celeste immediately pointed towards Gonta's secret tunnel, "They went thataway". "W-Wow,that's all it took?" Kazuichi frowned, "Gee thanks you're a real hero".
(Bass Hunters)
Having finally managed to take out Ibuki,Mondo had finally managed to regroup with the other members of his team and inform them of the capture. Now with only Gundham and Kirumi remaining they were set on winning this challenge. "We'll take 'em out,no sweat!" Hagakure declared. Mondo smirked, "Hell yeah,ain't no way that dumb wizard and a maid can beat men like us...uh,sorry Fujisaki". Chihiro laughed awkwardly, "No offence taken Mondo". Nagito rubbed his chin, "Let's see,if I were a maid and a wizard,where would I be?". "OOH! OOH! THE KITCHEN!" Hagakure exclaimed raising his hand. Mondo slapped the back of his head, "Don't be a goddamn idiot,why the hell would they be in the kitchen?!". "Because they're probably hungry,duh" Hagakure snarked. "Suppose it wouldn't kill us to check" agreed Nagito, "Hey Chihiro,you come with me while those two stay in the woods". "O-Oh,okay!" Chihiro replied with determination. "We'll meet up with you guys later" said Mondo gruffly as the two walked off.
(Kitchen)
For once Hagakure had managed to be right,as the remaining deers for the Gophers were inside the main lodge's kitchen. "I must say,all that running around does make even one such as I feel the need for quenching hunger" Gundham said dramatically,making Kirumi laugh to herself. She was chopping up vegetables for a stew,since Gundham had requested a food that was not a solid yet at the same time was not a beverage. "While I am not one for mere mortal work,a task such as this should require my attention" Gundham said as he walked over, "Tell me Maid of Darkness,do you require my assistance and aid?". Kirumi smiled, "If you wish to be of help,you can season the meat and cook the meat,it's a very important job for stew". Gundham struck some JoJo poses dramatically, "THEN THE LENDING OF MY ELDRICH POWERS IS UPON US!". "You're an interesting man Tanaka" Kirumi mused, "It's something I noticed since the very first day here". "In what way,I ask?" Gundham asked,raising an eyebrow. "You're quirky,unique,within you there's a special sort of confidence that I have never witnessed before" she explained,edging slightly closer so that their shoulders were gently touching. Gundham laughed to himself quietly under his breath, "It is within me that I know I am a godsend on humanity,one destined to achieve great things in my lifetime and rule over all...at least that's what my Mother always told me" he explained, "It is also what I find myself repeating to my being at least once a day,not only to me but to my Four Dark Devas of Destruction!" he beamed as his hamsters emerged from his scarf with a squeak, "BEHOLD THEIR MIGHT!" he declared. Kirumi stood back as the Devas leapt around the countertop grabbing all sorts of cooking equipment and ingredients,throwing them together to season and slice the meat better than a 5-Star Chef ever could. Once finished,Gundham slid the tray inside the oven and slammed it shut as the Devas ran up his arm through his sleeves and reappeared by his neck,each one being fed a sunflower seed that Gundham had taken from his pocket. Kirumi's eyes twinkled as she took in the hamster magic, "Incredible!" she whispered to herself.
CONFESSIONAL START
Gundham Tanaka (Screaming Gophers): My Four Dark Devas of Destruction are my proudest achievement in this world. It was through sheer resolve and dark magic alone that they could reach their current evolutionary state. One day with enough guidance they shall evolve far enough to rule the world! FWAHAHAHAHA!
CONFESSIONAL END
"It would seem that your Dark Devas did all the hard work,now we just need to wait for the meat to cook and your stew will be finished" Kirumi smiled,putting her hands together, "Shall we sit?". Gundham nodded, "Indubitably" he replied as he pulled out a chair for her,while he sat on top of the central cooking island. Kirumi tapped her chin,deep in thought about something, "Tanaka? What's your real name? I-If you don't mind me asking". Gundham was surprised, "My name? Hmph,only one being here besides me is aware of that,my good ally Chihiro Fujisaki...but if you wish to know and swear on your life for it to remain a secret to all but you and I,then...I suppose I could tell you" he explained,pulling his scarf up a bit. Kirumi tilted her head and beamed, "Of course I can keep a secret! I wouldn't be a very good Maid if I couldn't". Gundham grinned and replicated the Dio spirit photo pose, "VERY WELL THEN! FOR YOU,MAID OF DARKNESS,MY NAME OF BEARING IS KNOWN AS GUNDHAM TANAKA,SUPREME OVERLORD OF ICE!" he declared with triump. "Gundham,hmm? That's a cool name,it sounds mysterious yet powerful" Kirumi replied with a grin. "U-Um...t-thank you" said Gundham,pulling up his scarf again to cover his light blush. The oven pinged as the meat was finally ready,with Gundham adding to his stew and pouring out two bowls, "For you,Maid of Darkness". "Ah,thank you Gundham!" Kirumi exclaimed,surprised that he offered her some too,believing he just wanted some for himself. As the two ate,they had no idea that Nagito and Chihiro had been listening through the kitchen door for the entire time. "Awwwwww,that's adorable!" Nagito squealed, "Such hope is truly wonderful! Now let's go in and shoot them so we can win.". Chihiro put a hand in front of him, "W-Wait,maybe we shouldn't. Tanaka and Kirumi aren't ones to open up much,and they seem to be enjoying themselves. Maybe we should...let them have their moment". Nagito pondered this,but eventually nodded in agreement, "I suppose you're right. After all,it probably wouldn't be very cash money of me to disrupt such vibrant hope". With that the two hunters exited the lodge,leaving Gundham and Kirumi to eat their stew in peace.
CONFESSIONAL SRTART
Nagito Komaeda (Killer Bass): Ah love,truly an emotion that holds the highest hopes,yet at the same time can also lead to the deepest layers of despair. Like a coin,one side cannot exist without the other.
CONFESSIONAL END
As the two exited the lodge,a large horn was sounded over the intercom; "CAMPERS! DEERS! HUNTERS! ANYONE ELSE INBETWEEN! YOU'RE TIME IS NOW UP! ALL CONTESTANTS MAKE YOUR WAY BACK TO THE TOTEM POLE IN THE MIDDLE OF CAMP,PRONTO! ANY DEER SHOT NOW WILL NOT COUNT TOWARDS YOUR TOTAL,BUT IT IS FUNNY TO SEE TEENAGERS GET HURT...JUST THROWING THAT OUT THERE".
Standing at the totem pole,Chris awaited the arrival of the contestants,with everyone arriving after about twenty minutes of waiting around. "Tch,about time you all showed up" Chris complained. "Sorry man,it's a big island" Leon apologised sarcastically. "How'd the hunting go? Looks like some people got covered in paint for sure" Chris asked,looking at those who had gotten taken out,though his eyes were drawn to Mondo and Hagakure who were soaked. "What the hell happened to you two?" Kazuichi asked, "Aren't you both on the same team?". "We got into a fight about what was colder,the North Pole or the South Pole" Mondo explained. "I'm telling ya man it's the South Pole!" Hagakure protested. "Nuh-uh it's the North!" Mondo retorted. "Seriously? Dude the South Pole is the one that's colder,have you never read a geography book?" Miu asked rolling her eyes at Mondo. "Just for the record we shot each other after the game ended" Hagakure added. "Whatever" Chris chuckled, "While the Gophers did score a good hit on Celeste,the Bass managed to nab two deers with Kokichi and Ibuki,meaning the Killer Bass are today's winners!" he announced as the Bass cheered and spread high-fives aplenty, "Gophers,sorry for your troubles but looks like you're heading back to the bonfire tonight. This time one of you will be walking down the Dock of Shame,nobody is getting a second chance this time around" he explained. "Works for me" said Kirumi. "That is acceptable" added Gundham as the two sat on the ground eating their stew. "Hey,where'd you get that?" Kazuichi asked. Gundham pointed his staff towards the main lodge, "Kitchen. I am feeling generous today,feel free to help yourselves if you so wish to indulge in this culinary masterpiece". "Mind if we get some of that action too?" Hagakure asked, "I kinda got a hankering for some munchies". Kirumi laughed, "Of course,go right ahead". "WOO! STEW TIME!" the guys cheered.
CONFESSIONAL START
Peko Pekoyama (Screaming Gophers): Hmph,it's hardly amazing,right? *she takes a bite of some stew and sheds a single tear* never mind.
Yasuhiro Hagakure (Killer Bass): This is...requiem.
Kirumi Tojo (Screaming Gophers): *laughs quietly* They don't call me the Ultimate Maid for nothing you know.
CONFESSIONAL END
(Bonfire Ceremony)
The fire's light shone brightly as the Screaming Gophers sat around the bonfire for the second time in a row. Chris approached with a plate of seven marshmallows and placed it on the oil drum table. "Gophers,you had a long day and put in some work,but unfortunately it just wasn't enough. Eight of you are sitting in front of me but only seven will receive a delicious marshmallow,while the lucky loser is getting up,walking down the Dock of Shame,boarding the Boat of Losers and will never come back...ever."
CONFESSIONAL START
Miu Iruma (Screaming Gophers): It was tough tryna choose who to go with,but I think I made the right choice. Not only is there my vote,but apparently some of the others went for the same pick as me.
CONFESSIONAL END
"Alrighty,let's get to it" said Chris, "Tonight the following campers are safe from getting the boot;
Kazuichi,
Peko,
Tanaka,
Miu,
Kirumi
and Kokichi" Chris announced,as the contestants claimed their marshmallows by impaling them on their sticks, "Mikan,Ibuki,looks like it's down to you two. One of you has competed in your final challenge. One of you will continue to stay on the island for another. But who will it be I hear you ask? Tonight,the final marshmallow goes to...
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Ibuki!" he announced. "WOO YEAH BABY!" Ibuki cheered as she stood on her log chair and pretended to play an air guitar while making noises. Mikan gasped, "W-W-WHAT?! M-ME?!". "Correct ma'am" Gundham replied. "Mikan,sorry to break it to you but the gang has spoken" Chris explained, "Gonna have to ask you to please see yourself out". Mikan frowned and wiped a tear from her eye, "O-Okay *sniff* I-I'm going". She began to slowly walk away,looking back to see if anyone reacted. "Ciao dude" said Kazuichi,who was staring at the fire while trying not to burn his marshmallow. "Yeah,was knowing you" added Kokichi, "Ha,not really that was a lie" he giggled as Peko whacked the back of his head. Mikan sighed,realising nobody was too upset to see her go. She stumbled down the Dock of Shame,without any falls which was quite surprising,boarded the Boat of Losers and dissappeared into the horizon of the night. "Well well well,that was a little harsh dontcha think?" Chris asked,scratching his head. "Was it?" Ibuki pondered, "None of us really liked her that much and she was never the greatest in challenges,basically just deadweight". "DAYUM THAT WAS COLD!" Kokichi laughed loudly, "No need to keep hitting the girl,she's already dead!". As the Gophers sat around the campfire roasting their marshmallows,Kirumi sat closer to Gundham,leaning her head against his shoulder. Normally he wasn't one for physical contact,but feeling her head there he couldn't help but smile.
"Guess that does it for another day. With clumsy Mikan gone for good I'm certain things will get a lot less stuttery and accident prone...maybe,with these idiots it wouldn't surprise me if they got hit by a parked car. Who's going home next? What will our next challenge entail? How will these morons find ways to humiliate themselves? Find out next time on another exciting episode of! Total! Drama! Island!" Chris beamed.
(Coyler's Note: Man I'm terribly sorry for all those Danganronpa Enjoyers who wanted me to continue this,I apologise for neglecting it so bad. Same for the fanfic of Despair Academy,that one is in serious Development Hell,heh heh. This was a fun chapter to write,sending Mikan home wasn't initially planned but I noticed how many times in a row the Bass had sent someone home and wanted to balance it out a bit. Since Mikan was the one I did the least with I figured her time was up. The Gundham and Kirumi stuff will also hopefully get more focus over time,this was just a taste to see if people like it,I know I definitely wanna continue to develop it and give best wizard boi the girlfriend he's always deserved. I also might do more with Mondo and Ishimaru,it was hinted early in the chapter that they were doing some very sus things that Miu witnessed first hand in the bathroom,though there is a chance it could just be a throwaway gag of them doing stuff that's just being sus with the homies. Anyway,that's all for now,I hope you all enjoyed this latest chapter. Be sure to follow,favourite and leave your thoughts on this latest installment in a review,after all I can only continue to grow and become better with the aid of feedback from readers like you. Coyler,out!)