Chapter 8: Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.

Leo climbed the foremast of the Argo II, relieved to be away from the lower decks: any time away from the Athena Parthenos was a blessing.

Passing the point where the foremast was level with the jibboom, Leo placed his hand on the last rung leading up to the fighting top. He paused, a flicker of surprise overtaking his face as he realized the location was already occupied.

So much for some privacy.

Nico gazed back at him, a flustered look mirroring his own.

"What are you doing up here?" The boys' voices spoke in unison, the exact same words echoing over the still night.

Nico scowled, his gaunt features turning ghoulish.

Boy needs to eat a sandwich.

"I'll leave you to it, then." Leo began to move back down the wooden rungs when Nico's voice called out softly.

"You don't have to leave." Nico peered over the edge of the fighting top and down at Leo. Dark circles accentuated the pain and despair in the dark brown eyes. "I mean, it's your ship."

Leo tilted his head side to side as he considered. It was, technically, his ship. But, his mother had always taught him that guests have preference. Coming to a decision, he nodded his head and climbed the rest of the way up. "No reason we can't share. It's a good spot for thinking, anyway."

Nico scooted backward as Leo joined him on the small deck no larger than a pantry.

The two demigods surveyed the dark night sky, taking in the constellations and the rolling cloud bank on the horizon.

"So." Leo swayed slightly back and forth as he spoke. "You come up here often?"

Nico snorted. "It's the one place no one's looking at me like I'm planning their demise."

Leo frowned. "What?"

The son of Hephaestus caught Nico's serious gaze and continued. "Why would you think that's what we're thinking?"

Nico arched an eyebrow. "Isn't it, though?"

Leo shrugged, uncomfortable with the subject at hand. "Dunno. Third wheels don't understand, don't you know?" Leo laughed at himself. "Make that seventh wheels."

Nico turned fully, his whole body facing Leo. "Is that what you think you are? A useless wheel?"

Leo grinned. "I never said a useless wheel. I fix the ship, remember?"

The son of Hades shook his head. "You're deflecting."

"Well," Feeling his grin slip, Leo glanced away from Nico and focused on the dark horizon ahead. "It's what I am. Percy and Annabeth. Piper and Jason. Hazel and Frank." Leo smirked. "And then there's me. Mr. Seventh Wheel."

Leo grew quiet, and Nico joined him in looking out across the gently waving waters. It was several minutes before Nico spoke again. "I'm not even part of the prophecy, but I'm here, aren't I?"

The frown grew deeper on Leo's face. "But, that's not- it's not really-"

"Not the same?" Nico supplied. "Of course." Nico drew his legs close to his body and propped his chin on his knees. "Did you know that I saw the god Pan die? Me and Percy-" Nico's voice cracked when he said the son of Poseidon's name. "- Grover, Rachel, and Annabeth. Even then," the demigod's face twisted into the semblance of a smile laced with bitterness. "He was fading from this world and still refused to acknowledge my existence except to confirm to the others he was dying." Nico's eyes hardened as he turned to look at Leo. "I've been the extra my entire life. But…"

The son of Hades stayed quiet for a moment until Leo spoke up. "But what?"

"You have a part to play, Leo. Whether you think so or not. Whether you accept it or not. Your position in all of this is important. Even if you don't see it."

Leo scoffed. "That's rich. Coming from you."

The scowl that marred Nico's face was fierce. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You said it yourself. You're not accepted. You're a wheel."

Nico glared at Leo. "I can't help who my father is. I can't help who I care for. I can't-" Nico broke off suddenly, biting down on his lip hard enough to draw blood before looking away. "I didn't choose any of this. You don't understand."

Leo couldn't stop the words that poured out of his mouth and would wonder later from where they had come. "You hide away from everyone. Is that how you were before Tartarus? Is that who you've always been?" Leo's eyes burned hot as he stared at Nico. "Come out of the shadows, you know? People are only afraid of what they don't understand. So…make people understand. Make me understand."

At Nico's continued silence, Leo shook his head and moved to climb down the foremast. "Night, Ghost Boy."

After several days and multiple conversations with irrational goddesses, Leo decided to venture up to the foremast once more, noticing the dark figure before he even started climbing. As he reached the fighting top, Leo plopped down next to the son of Hades and sighed heavily. "Is it just me, or is this quest becoming more and more hopeless?"

Nico rolled his eyes over to look at the son of Hephaestus but didn't comment, only shrugging at the other boy's greeting.

Leo let out a rush of air and fell backward letting his legs dangle over the edge. He gazed up at the stars and took comfort in the hard wood of the fighting top beneath his back.

Remember Leo- his mother's words echoed to him from across vast plains of memory- if there's one thing you do, choose to remember the good things in the darkness. The constellations glittered in the dark night, and Leo sighed.

"They sure are beautiful, aren't they?"

"What?"

Leo pointed, his arm arching out in front of him to be silhouetted against the sky. "Them." He looked over to Nico, who craned his neck up uncomfortably to stare. Leo huffed and shook his head. He reached over and pulled on Nico's shoulder, yanking the other demigod down until he, too, lay on the wooden deck. "There. Now you can enjoy them properly."

The two boys lay in silence, gazing up at the stars.

"They are. Pretty, that is." Nico sighed with longing and melancholy.

Leo rolled his head to the side, looking at the son of Hades. "What's up, Ghost Boy?"

Nico grumbled, "Ghost King" before falling silent. He remained that way for several heartbeats before saying, "I'll miss it. The stars."

Leo frowned. "You going somewhere they don't have stars or something?"

Nico nodded. "After this-" he made a gesture in the air, "-is over, I'm going to live with my father."

"Like," Leo's forehead wrinkled as he thought, "in the Underworld?"

Nico nodded again. "It's the right thing to do. I just...I don't belong here."

Leo scowled, and Nico had to feel the heat of his gaze.

Look at me.

Nico continued to focus on the stars so Leo asked, "Why?"

Finally, Nico turned his head to meet Leo's eyes. "Why what?"

"Why leave?"

"I already told you." Nico glared at the other demigod. "I don't belong."

"Have you tried to belong?" At Nico's deepening death glare, Leo hastened to continue. "I'm not blaming you! ¡Ay caramba! I'm just saying...give people the benefit of the doubt?"

Leo hesitated before continuing. "I used to get upset when my cousins wouldn't play with me at family stuff, you know? I was always different." Leo's nose wrinkled up at the memory. "But my mom, she would say, 'Mijo. Have you tried to be friends with them?' And she would say that if I had and they couldn't accept me for who I was, then they weren't worth anything. She always wanted me to focus on being me and doing what I needed. 'Haz el bien y no mires a quién.'"

Leo smiled softly at the memory. "I never did get along with my cousins." He sighed and turned back to Nico. "I meant what I said. People usually reject what they don't understand. And, well... can't you help me understand you? I still might not like you, but you can at least say you tried." Leo's crooked smile met with silence. He grinned more broadly and said, "Think about it," before climbing back down to the main deck.

The third time Leo climbed the foremast, he found himself hoping that the dark-haired son of Hades would already be on the fighting top. A couple of days had passed since Jason and Nico had gained control of Diocletian's scepter in Split, and neither had seemed the same.

As he came eye-level with the deck, he froze. Nico was already on the fighting top, laid back and gazing up at the stars, several tears tracking their way down his face. Leo fought with himself then- go back down and respect the guy's privacy or continue on and see what was up. The choice was made for him as the wood creaked beneath Leo's shifting weight. Nico jerked his head to the side and, seeing Leo, sat up rapidly, wiping his face as he did.

Leo cleared his throat awkwardly. "So, fancy seeing you up here."

Nico laughed, a tinge of sadness clinging to the sound. "Don't know why I came up here. I knew you'd come up eventually."

Leo scrambled the rest of the way onto the deck and took a seat next to Nico. The lack of room meant his thigh brushed Nico's, but he found himself not minding.

Quietly, he asked, "You okay? I mean, you and Jason both seem...off. Since Croatia." Leo rubbed the back of his neck. He'd never been good at this. "I mean, if something happened...well, I mean...you wanna talk about it?"

Nico's sharp smile seemed morbid and full of bitterness. "Not particularly. Thanks, though."

Leo shrugged. "Whatever, man. I get it. You're this doomy raincloud, and any sunshine that hits you gets sucked in. But," Leo smirked sideways at the other demigod. "That's not always a bad thing. I mean," Leo gazed out over the sea. "Rain puts out fires all the time."

Nico frowned. "I don't think that's a terribly good analogy. Especially coming from you."

Leo laughed. "I've never been good with those things. Nada. Zilch."

Nico opened his mouth to speak, but Leo cut him off, abruptly changing the subject. "You wanna go up higher? The water looks the best from all the way up top."

Nico's mouth closed, and he stood up, taking a short step to grip the railing and look down. He swallowed heavily. "Isn't that a bit high?"

The laughter that escaped Leo was light and free of worry. "I didn't realize you were afraid of heights."

"Afraid of heights? No way." Nico continued to look down at the solid wood deck of the ship. "Aware of the limits of the demigod body and the chances of survival after hurtling straight down and gathering speed to hit a deck? I'm a son of Hades. I can smell death even in probability."

Halfway through Nico's tirade, Leo began rummaging through his toolbelt until he came back up with a long piece of thin but strong rope. "Ah-ha!" He moved toward Nico, who took a step back in response.

"What are you doing?"

Leo gave a tut of impatience but grinned. "Some reassurance for you." He held the length of rope up for Nico to inspect. "Do you mind?"

Nico shook his head slowly. "What is it for?"

Leo walked close to Nico and began to tie the rope around the demigod's waist. He spoke as he worked. "Well, if you're worried about falling and dying, this rope will help. I'll just tie it to me and," Leo finished tying the length of rope about his own waist as well. "Voila!"

Leo stood beaming, his arms held out to his sides, waiting for approval.

Nico arched an eyebrow. "A piece of rope. Is going to save me." The son of Hades glanced back and forth between the rope and Leo. "From dying?"

Leo nodded. "Yup." He turned and put his hands on the small but visible rungs jutting out from either side of the foremast and hauled himself up several paces until he felt the rope grow taut. He turned and looked down. Nico had yet to move.

"You coming, Ghost Boy?"

Emotions flitted across Nico's face. "It won't save me, though. It will just kill you too. If you fall after me." Nico turned his face up to Leo. "Or do the kids of Hephaestus have an amazing bouncing ability you have yet to share with the other campers?"

Leo shook his head and reached his hand out further toward the other demigod. The joviality dropped from his voice, and he looked into the son of Hades' eyes, willing the boy to believe him.

"Nico. It's not like that. It won't save you. But, you won't be alone." A small smile graced Leo's face, and he found he meant every word he said. "If you fall, I fall. Who knows? Maybe your dad needs a mechanic. And I'm hoping," Leo waggled his eyebrows, a joking tone coming back into his voice, "that my friend will put in a good word for me. What do you say? Think your dad has a place for me in the Underworld if we fall?"

As Nico took in Leo's words, the son of Hades' scowl softened. His shoulders relaxed, and a genuine smile brightened his face. When he looked back and reached for Leo's hand, his eyes shone.

"I fall, you fall."

The pair climbed slowly up the foremast, making their way to the top. They clung to the wood, feeling the exhilaration of risk as the wind pushed against them. The sea glittered all around the two demigods, and the sky stretched on forever. The smell of rain and mist fell heavily in the air, muffling the sound of crashing waves and the slight noises of life on the decks below.

They each held themselves up opposite each other, holding on to the same rungs, hands brushing against one another. Leo looked over to Nico and found himself beaming at the sight of Nico grinning, carefree and unaware. His dark eyes shone and his skin, although pale, reminded Leo of the moon and not, as he had thought lately, a ghoulish corpse. A wonderful and beautiful moon.

Nico glanced over as Leo continued to look at the son of Hades. The demigod's unabashed grin faded slightly, curiosity taking its place. Leo's mouth suddenly felt dry, and he licked his lips, leaning slowly forward.

A sudden lurch of the ship caused him to jerk his face into the wood of the foremast. Loosening his grip on the rung, Leo gasped and brought a hand to his face at the sudden onset of pain. He felt a hand grasp his arm and pull him more solidly against the wood of the foremast. He pulled his hand away from his face. No blood. No broken bones. Just a wasted moment.

A wasted moment? What were you even planning on doing?

Leo glanced back up at Nico, who still gripped the son of Hephaestus' forearm in his hand. Leo smiled shakily. "Thanks, Ghost Boy."

Nico smiled in return, a hopeful light sparking in his eyes. "What can I say? You fall, I fall."

When Leo woke up, he lay staring at the underside of the bunk above him. The last he remembered even thinking about Nico aboard the Argo had been when he had wondered out loud if Nico was somehow related to Clytius. Then, his stomach had twisted guiltily, knowing and actually caring that Nico would be hurt if he had heard the comment.

Leo hadn't dreamt about the Argo II in quite some time. Since Ogygia, in fact. Leo had forgotten most of the late-night conversations with Nico in the following days, becoming consumed with his obsession of finding Calypso again. He had forgotten that moment on the foremast, up above the deck and the sea and the world. After that, Leo had had one last one-on-one conversation with Nico on the Argo, and it was not one he cared to remember.

Leo rolled out of bed and stumbled to the floor. His stomach rumbled, though out of guilt or hunger, he couldn't be sure.

He grabbed a pair of cargo pants off the floor and shoved his legs through the openings one at a time. He pulled his shirt up to his nose and sniffed. It was still suitable for another wear.

Leo tugged on a jacket and ran a hand through his hair as he reached for the door and opened it. Not paying attention, he entered the hallway and ran into Nico.

He steadied the other demigod with a hand. "Sorry! Sorry."

Nico shook his head. "I'm good. I was just coming to get you."

Leo stared at the other demigod, confusion contorting his face. "You were?"

One eyebrow raised, Nico simply stated, "Patrol. Jamie made you a sandwich."

Leo must have looked even more confused because Nico added, "You slept through breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. Emmie said not to wake you since you were up all night working." Nico scowled slightly. "Not that she had to tell me that. What are you even doing in there to cause so much racket?"

Leo smiled sheepishly. "Just some improvements for the station." Noticing the slightly darker than usual circles under Nico's eyes, Leo added, "Sorry."

The son of Hades nodded. "Well? Let's get going." Without waiting for Leo to answer, Nico turned and began to walk toward the stairs. Leo hurried after him. The pair made their way to the entrance where Lit waited, arms crossed.

As they approached, he held out wax paper with a sandwich wrapped inside. "You're lucky I didn't eat it." Lit's eyes flicked to Nico. "You took forever to get him."

Nico scowled but said nothing. Leo grabbed the sandwich before Lit could change his mind about eating it. "So, wanna split the route like normal? Does Emmie still want us to stick to the kiddie track?"

Lit nodded. "After your encounter with the hydra, she wants us to be extra careful."

"Right." Leo glanced sideways at Nico. "You cool to come with me, Ghost Boy?"

Leo took a bite of his sandwich at Nico's nod and tried to speak, his words coming out garbled.

Lit rolled his eyes in mock disgust. "Swallow your food before talking like you have manners, Valdez. Besides," Lit moved his gaze to Nico. "I think he should come with me. Get a more well-rounded education in the surrounding area."

Nico looked at Leo awkwardly and shrugged. "It's up to you guys."

The son of Hephaestus swallowed heavily and glared at Lityerses. "I can educate him plenty."

Lit shrugged a shoulder. "I mean, if you want to make a big deal out of it…."

Leo froze, and his voice was icy when he answered. "Sure. Go ahead. You two have fun."

"Leo…" Nico stood between the two demigods, uncertainty lacing his voice. "I can-"

Leo's face softened, and he waved his hand in the air as if brushing away the unspoken words. "Nah. I'm fine. It's cool. I'll see you guys when we pass." Leo raised the sandwich and took another bite, speaking through a mouthful of food. "See ya!"

Leo strode through the door, quickly made his way out to the street, and headed toward Meridian, leaving West to Lit and Nico. He looked at the sandwich in his hand and contemplated throwing it into the trash can on the corner. He had lost his appetite. Leo re-wrapped the sandwich and tucked it into his jacket before shoving his hands in his pockets and continuing down the street.

He hated sleeping through the day. He felt displaced in time- groggy and foggy and all messed up. And he was not happy with the dreams. An unpleasantness squirmed in his gut as he tried to ignore his last conversation with Nico on board the Argo II.

The night air held a light mist and was quiet. Tiki Bob's had remained shut down for business since the hydra had pummeled its way inside. But, none of the others had reported any run-ins with creatures- none at all, purple glowing or otherwise. The most that had happened was an angry owl attacking Sssssarah for trying to snatch eggs from its nest.

Leo blew the hair out of his eyes and looked around. He was rapidly approaching Maryland and slowed his steps. Leo was sure that Nico would find patrol with Lit much more exciting and informative.

Seventh wheels, man. Seventh wheels.

Leo shook his head, trying to rid the self-pitying thoughts from his mind. Leo squared his shoulders and nodded his head fiercely, deciding to try his best to depart from the line of thinking he was following when the earth gave a low rumble.

The earthquake was not enough of really anything to be called an actual earthquake. Instead, it felt more like riding in a car that had gone over extensive railroad tracks. But, as soon as the soft shaking stopped, Leo heard Lit yelling in the distance- loud enough to hear but far enough away to not be able to make out the words.

Leo started running, his heart in his throat.

He took the corner of Meridian and Maryland at a sprint, skidding through loose gravel to keep his balance. At last, he saw the commotion halfway down Maryland: Lit and Nico both had their swords drawn.

A humanoid creature towered over the two demigods. Its two legs were capped at the end with shiny bronze bull hooves. Two sets of wings sprouted from its back, feathered white and dull gray. Four heads swiveled atop its shoulders, keeping the sons of Hades and Demeter in its sights at all times. A lion's head roared and showed sharp canines. An ox head bellowed and shook, its horns colliding with the head of the eagle screeching beside it. The eyes set in the human head blinked slowly, and the face scowled as it surveyed the scene before it. Purple energy sparked and raced along its body, weaving over and under its skin.

The human mouth opened but, instead of a voice, only hisses issued forth.

Nico turned and saw Leo, eyes dancing with a fever that only came from the anticipation of a fight. Nico's gaze flickered to something behind the son of Hephaestus. "Leo- look out!"

Before he could turn, Leo felt something collide heavily with his head. A bright spark, and then, everything went black.

The deck of the Argo II was quiet. Night had fallen, and nerves were high: they'd be to the Doors of Death soon. Coach Hedge manned their navigation. Hazel was holed up with a polecat and farting weasel for whatever reason. Frank slept. Piper and Jason were gods knew where.

Leo climbed the foremast until he reached the fighting top. It was empty. Leo sighed in relief- he needed some time alone. All he could think about since leaving Ogygia was Calypso. How had Percy done it? How had Odysseus done it? Were they able to forget the girl because they already had someone? Because there was someone to whom they could return?

Leo shook his head. It didn't matter, dwelling on the past. He just knew he had to find Ogygia again.

The creak of wood alerted him to company. Nico finished climbing the rest of the way onto the fighting deck and quietly, his voice full of nerves, asked Leo, "Mind if I join you?"

Leo shrugged but scooted over so Nico could sit.

The two sat in silence for several minutes before the son of Hades broke the silence.

"I'm glad you're okay. I mean, I knew you weren't dead. But... I'm glad you're okay." Nico didn't look up as he spoke, his eyes gazing out over the dark waters.

"Uh, thanks?"

Nico nodded. "Sure."

The two lapsed into quiet again, but this time it was Leo who broke it.

"So, what're you doing up here? Shouldn't you be getting ready for tomorrow? It's gonna be a big day." Leo glimpsed the pale expanse of Nico's cheeks reddening. The other boy cleared his throat before speaking.

"I just...I thought…" He trailed off and closed his eyes, swallowing heavily. "I was thinking about what you said before...before Khione and getting lost."

Leo didn't say anything when Nico looked over at him. Instead, he kept his eyes trained firmly on the fine line where the sky met the sea. "About coming out of the shadows."

Leo didn't reply.

Nico shifted uncomfortably beside him. "Remember when you asked about Croatia? You asked if I wanted to talk about it?"

Leo nodded. A sharp pain twisted in his chest, and he felt guilt. Guilt about Nico. Guilt about Calypso. Calypso...and Ogygia. Would he ever be able to find them again?

"-did you know?"

Leo realized Nico was speaking and shook his head. He gave a weary smile to Nico. "Hey, man. I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time concentrating tonight. Do you mind if we take a rain check on the talk?"

Nico nodded jerkily as Leo climbed to his feet and made his way to the rungs. "Have a good night, di Angelo."

"Ghost Boy."

Leo barely heard the soft correction that came out of Nico's mouth, and he cast a look back at the boy. "What's that?"

Nico shook his head, his eyes glittering like the dark sea below. "Nothing, Valdez. Have a good night."

Leo couldn't shake the feeling of guilt twisting about his gut.

What is that even about? I haven't done anything wrong. Leo shook his head and continued down the ladder, pushing conversations about wheels and shadows out of his mind.

"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering."- Paulo Coelho