*Happy, up-tuned, jingly version of Fight as One theme*
Remnant's Mightiest Heroes! Chibi!
Interrogation File: RWBY
"Hey, guys!" Ruby walked into the room that she and the rest of team RWBY shared. In her hands, she carried a plate of cookies. "I got some treats for every…body…"
She nearly dropped the plates as she looked at the state of her teammates. Blake
"Oh, my goodness! What happened to you guys?"
"Hey Ruby," Blake rubbed her eyes. "We just came back from interrogation class. Today, we simulated that we are captured, and our enemies are torturing us for information."
"Torture? You mean like inject us with a truth serum, threaten us with physical violence?"
"Not that kind of torture," Blake muttered. "Turns out that isn't the only way to get information out of someone."
Blake sat handcuffed to a chair. In front of her, her interrogator utilizing a grill to cook. A smell drifted towards her, further tantalizing her. When he turned around, he held the roasted trout in front of her.
"Ready to talk?" He asked.
"I'll tell you anything, just give it to me!" Blake said as drool trickled from her mouth, her hands struggling against the restraints.
"In the end, I failed," Blake moaned. But deep down, she had no regrets about the fish. "You should ask Weiss about hers."
"Weiss?" Ruby turned to her white-haired teammate. Now that she got a closer look, she was stroking a white rabbit soothingly. When Ruby directed her attention on her, she tensed up.
"I don't want to talk about it…"
"NOOOOOOOOO!"
Weiss screamed as her interrogator lowered a cage into a huge cauldron of boiling water. Inside the cage are fluffy bunnies who are surprisingly calm despite their predicament. Weiss is tearing up at their misfortune.
"I'll talk, I'll talk! Just don't let them die!"
"Why don't you ask your sister?" Weiss said and at that moment, Yang had exited the shower. She had her fingers running through her hair. Red eyes glared at her when she was about to ask.
"Don't…" She warned before marching over to her bed and plopping down. Ruby looked at the others. They answered for their blonde teammate.
"You know how she gets when someone messes with her hair?"
"Quit it!"
Yang is strapped to a chair while her interrogator did her hair. Try as she might, she can't escape the restraints as she added pink dye to the strands. Her eyes are red with rage as she felt her hair become violated.
"I can stop if you want me to, you just have to tell me everything."
"Go to hell!"
"Hell, …so you want to go for the hellfire look? I can do that. Just let me get the red, orange, and yellow dye for the flames. Though I don't think we need yellow…"
"AAAARRRRGGG!"
"In the end, she told them everything," Blake said. She sighed. "S.H.I.E.L.D certainly can do their job."
"I was just thinking," Weiss suddenly said. "How did they know how to make us break?"
Weiss and Blake, we're silently debating as Ruby let out a nervous chuckle.
"…Blake likes eating fish and my sister doesn't like her hair to be messed with," Ruby finished. "Just please don't cut her hair, she'll be very mad."
"Don't worry Ruby," Fury said. "We won't go that far."
He pushed forward a plate of cookies.
"Thank you for your cooperation."
Shield of Faith
"And I said…now that's a katana!" Ruby said as she and her friends entered the training arena. They stopped when they saw something sitting in the center.
"Hey…" Weiss scrunched her eyes. "…isn't that…"
"Captain America's shield!" Ruby exclaimed as she burst forward in a flurry of petals. She picked it up and began rambling about its many properties.
"Ruby, we shouldn't be touching that!" Blake said, coming forward to yank the shield away from her. "Just what is it doing here?"
"Maybe Cap forgot about it," Jaune said, taking it from Blake. "My team came from his class earlier."
"We should probably give it back," Pyrrha said, but then Nora took it.
"Or we could…"
Several minutes later.
"So, you decided to play frisbee with it, use it as target practice and then…" Captain America listed off the many things they did with his shield while a raised eyebrow. Behind him, Coulson was glaring at the dejected RWBY and JNPR.
"We're sorry…" Ruby apologized.
"You can apologize when you run laps," Coulson snapped, incensed that his idol lost his shield again. "In the meantime, where is the shield?"
"Well…" Ruby couldn't finish as the door banged open for Tony Stark in his Iron Man armor. He held Captain America's shield in his hands.
"Hey Cap," Tony held it out to him. "This hit me when I was fighting the Frightful Four. Any Idea on how that happened?"
M.O.D.O._
"Hey guys," Jaune said as he sat with his friends during lunch break. He held out a newspaper in front of him. "The Avengers took out M.O.D.O.K again."
"Who?"
"You know those A.I.M guys who almost put us on the dissection table? Turns out he's the leader."
"You mean that disgusting floating head?" Weiss said with a look for emphasis. "What kind of name is that anyway?"
"It's actually an acronym," Ren clarified. "The Mental Organism Designed Only For…
Kickball
"Hey, stop that!" M.O.D.O.K cried as the Avengers and huntsmen-and-huntress'-in-training kicked him all over the field. "You will all suffer my—OW!"
"Pass it over here!" Yang shouted.
"Coming right at you Goldie locks!" Hulk shouted as his big green foot punted M.O.D.O.K across. Yang punted it back at him, who proceeded to pass it over to Thor.
"I say, this Kickball sport is quite exhilarating!"
"Pass it to me!" Nora shouted.
Kindergarten
"A, B, C, D, E, F, G," M.O.D.O.K sang to the toddlers. They sang along with him in perfect unison.
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P!"
"Q—"
"Are you done?" A mother asked, fear in her voice. Behind her are several more concerned mothers.
"U isn't after R," M.O.D.O.K declared. "Kids, could you tell your mothers what letters come after the letter R?"
"S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z. Now I know my ABCs, next time won't you sing with me?"
"Sing it again!" M.O.D.O.K declared as his forehead glowed. "This time, your mothers shall join in our song. From the beginning…"
Kissing
"Eww!" Weiss shouted as she and Pyrrha backed away from M.O.D.O.K, who is puckering his lips. Behind him are the female member of their teams. Each of them is dazed and have a big smooch mark on their faces.
"I will use the power of love to conquer all!" He declared. "I will start with you!"
"This is not how I thought I get my first kiss!" Pyrrha shouted.
"Let's stop there!" Pyrrha shouted. The female members shared her sentiment and covered their mouths in disgust.
"So, what does the 'K' mean really?" Weiss asked.
"The Avengers told me it's Killing," Ren said, which got them gasping from the ominous name. Weiss, however, had a scowl on her face.
"That doesn't make any sense," Weiss snorted. "Because they told me it's for 'Knitting'.
Twelve Days of Christmas
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree…
A partridge sat peacefully in a pear tree. A sneaky Nora creeps up to it and tries to take one of the pears.
"Come on…pear pancakes are just an arm's reach…"
A twig snapped, waking up the Partridge. Upon seeing Nora, it flew down and attacked her.
"OW! OW! OW! OW! OW"
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me two turtle doves…
"Are you kidding me!" Clint shouted as he fired another arrow at the Turtle/Dove hybrids that snapped up at him. He stood on top of his seat as he kept his distance from the fiendish turtles.
"I swear…I'm going to get Barbara for this…"
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me three French hens…
"Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!"
The hens raised a wing in greeting upon a stage. Teams RWBY and JNPR sat on front row seats.
"They're so cute…" Weiss squealed.
"Shh…" Blake shushed as the Hens began shuffling their feet, somehow making the sound of snapping fingers as the music began to play. "it's starting…"
"Swinging Belleville Rendez-Vous…"
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me four calling birds…
Weiss is walking down the hallway when she felt her scroll buzz. She took it out and saw the caller I.D. Hawkeye.
"Hello Clint," She said as she accepted the call. "What can I do for you?"
"Hey, Weiss…did you get any calls from the walls?"
"You mean Mockingbird, Falcon, and somebody name Songbird, then yes," Weiss said with a scowl. "I've been getting some crank calls from them lately! It's not even funny!"
"I'll talk to them," Hawkeye promised over the phone. "This nonsense has gone on long enough."
"Thank you, Clint."
"Can you help me find someone in return?"
"Sure…who are you looking for?"
"Agent Nutt. Her first name is Ima to avoid confusion."
"Ima Nutt…?" Weiss asked dubiously. Then she heard chortled laughter on the other line.
"YOU WERE IN ON THIS?!" Weiss shrieked into her scroll, but the call had already ended.
In another room, the four bird heroes were laughing uncontrollably.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me five golden rings…
"Here you go!" Nora gave a couple a golden ring. "You're our fifth customer! So, you get this one at half price!"
"Thank you!" The husband was about to give her money but saw an angry Yang behind her. Immediately he fled, dropping the money.
"Well…can't stop true love," Nora whistled as she picked up the fallen money. It was only when she turned around that she found Yang glaring at her. Upon a closer look, a few strands of hair are missing.
"Yang…uh…I can explain…!"
Wham!
Nora fell to the ground with swirly eyes as Yang stomped off.
Seven Verses Later…
"Ahhh!"
Ren ran from several geese as they threw their eggs at him. Weiss and Pyrrha are fending off seven swans as they honked at them. Ruby and Yang ducked behind a wall as they are under fire from assassins trying to kill them with blow darts. Blake is doing the tango with nine ladies at the same time. Jaune dodged and weaved between several lords leaping to and through before getting kicked in the head by a cow.
At that moment, Fury opened the door.
"What in Sam Hill is going on?!"
"We were doing some training until this happened," Weiss shrieked as she evaded a leaping lord.
"Override training protocol Charlie Idaho!" Fury shouted. The simulation stopped and pixelated until it faded. Teams RWBY and JNPR picked themselves up. They lined up to face the angry director.
"Explain."
"We wanted to train in a different way," Weiss explained. "Ruby thought it would be an ingenious idea to turn a Christmas carol into a training program!"
"I said I was sorry…" Ruby mumbled weakly.
"Regardless, don't ever do that again!" Fury said. "Leave the programming of the simulation to the professionals. Otherwise, you'll cause some irreversible damage."
"Yes, sir…" The replied.
"At least we stopped before the twelve drummers drumming part of the simulation."
"Who said that the twelve drummers were a simulation?"
The teen's eyes widened and turned around just in time to see twelve drummers playing their drums. The looks they had been murderous.
"Oh, shi—" They didn't get to finish before they were hit by a shockwave of compressed sound.
[~][~]
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Hey guys, how's life! I know that you are getting bored about this chibi thing, heck, I can write even better jokes than this crap. I gotta admit, those girls are going to be one hot momma when they grow up…
Anyway, let's hit the Q&A:
The mysterious Mr.E: yes indeed, this is going to be a combo of sugar, spice, and everything nice! We just need to see what else is going to be there! Just one thing, you realize that Mr.E is Mystery in creative writing right? What's so mysterious about a mystery that's already a mystery. But I suppose that's one mystery that should remain unsolved.
Door to Nowhere: Oh, you are definitely going to expect some Deadpool! Just not in nowhere mind you.
Chaldea: Yes, we are all aware of the poor souls in Nanking. Don't worry about the guys responsible, they ended up at the end of my…
Hey, what are you doing!
Oh, crap nuggets!
Deadpool! What are you doing! Get the hell away from my Laptop!
Whoops! I better go! Too da loo!
Ugh! Why didn't he stay dead when he fought the Mask in Death Battle? Anyway, I apologize for all that. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. Thank you for your support.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Feliz Navidad!
DEADPOOL!