*Happy- up-tuned, jingly version of Fight as One*
Remnant's Mightiest Heroes Chibi!
April Fools!
"You heard it, everyone!" Nick Fury said as confetti rained down and the Remnant's Mightiest Heroes Chibi sign is replaced with what he said next. "APRIL FOOLS!"
Team RWBY looked around in confusion.
"What's going on?"
"April Fools," Tony repeated as he descended. "This is all a joke!"
"April fools?" Ruby asked. "What's that?"
"An ancient earth custom," Tony explained. "Once every year, everybody gets to play jokes and pranks on each other. The tagline for everything is April Fools!"
"Jokes?" Yang asked with a smirk. "So, does that mean I can do my puns all day? While everyone has to listen?"
"Yep."
"Oh no," Blake groaned at the thought.
"So anyway," Fury said, pulling out a megaphone. "The show is over! I want everyone to clean up this set!"
S.H.I.E.L.D personnel started cleaning up the mess. One swept all of the confetti while two of them began moving the sign out of sight.
"Wait so what happens now?" Ruby asked.
"Nothing," Fury said. "This whole thing is a joke."
"So, this was all just a hoax?" Weiss shrieked. "You dragged us over here just to play a joke?"
"On you? Yes," Fury finished. "Anyway…APRIL FOOLS!"
Fury left the set. Team RWBY stared after him in the empty white space of the opening titles. They are the only ones left.
"So," Ruby said. "What do we do now?"
"I have an idea," Yang said. Before she could speak, Weiss pulled out Myrtenaster and pointed its tip at her.
"Yang Xiao Long, if that is a joke, I will skewer you!" Weiss said. Yang looked at everyone for a moment before holding her hands.
"Okay, I get your point."
The Heckling
"So, Ruby has trouble getting rid of the wrinkles on her cloak," Yang said into the microphone. "So, I told her to get Iron Man to help her!"
Yang laughed at her joke while the audience groaned.
"Nick and Captain America got into a contest," Yang said. "They wanted to see who can throw their SHIELD faster!"
"Ngh," Blake groaned.
"Why do you guys think Thor invites supervillains tot eh party? Because he wants to get them HAMMERED!"
"Boo!" They all shouted but they were ignored.
"How much longer do we have to listen to this?" Ren asked.
"Hey guys," Ruby said as she took her seat.
"Where were you?" Weiss asked.
"I was with Riri and Gwen," Ruby said. "I had this idea to help make this entertaining. They help me set it up early. I got it from watching this old tv show."
"What is it?"
"Heh heh heh," Ruby giggled mischievously. "You'll see."
"Here's a classic," Yang called out. "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Probably to get away from you! Tohohoho!"
The audience, for the first time, giggled as they turned their attention to their right. High on a balcony are two old man puppets. Yang glared at them and they looked back at her.
"Hey, that wasn't the punchline!"
"Hey, she's right!" The one on the right shouted. "That wasn't the punchline."
"It wasn't?"
"No. It was a foul proceeding! Tohohoho!"
That earned them more chuckles from the crowd and more of Yang's ire.
"Hey, quick question!" The second one shouted. "When's the comedian getting onstage?"
"I'm a comedian!"
"No, you're not! You're the joke! Tohohohoho!"
The audience laughed again.
"Alright!" Yang yelled. "Who are you guys!"
"Statler and Waldorf!" Waldorf gestured between him and Waldorf.
"What are two puppets doing here?" Yang asked with her arms crossed.
"We're waiting for a one-man ticket to the moon," Statler said.
"Then what are we waiting for?" Yang asked with a wave of her hand. "At least nobody will hear you on the moon!"
"We know! We're trying to get that seat for you! Tohohoho!"
More laughter and more annoyed Yang.
"Stop it!" Yang shouted to the audience. She turned back to the Puppets. "Please shut your pie hole or I will STRING you up! HA, try and counter that!"
The audience groaned while the two puppets remained silent. Satisfied, Yang turned back to the microphone.
"Hey!" Waldorf shouted. "Hey! Hey! Hey!"
"WHAT?!" Yang shouted as she glared back at the balcony, her eyes turning red.
"I wanted to point out that you are standing too close to the audience."
"Huh?" Yang looked down and backed away. "Like this?"
"Further."
Yang took another step back.
"Further."
Yang ended up right at the wall of the stage.
"Further."
"How far do you want me to go?"
"Do you have a motorcycle?" Waldorf asked. Everybody laughed harder.
"That is, it!" Yang shouted, her eyes flashing red. "If you guys don't stop, I will punch you in your stupid face!"
"Not as long as I'm holding it!" Statler said. To her annoyance, the audience laughed again.
"If you do not stop, I will march up there and throw you out!"
"No, you can't!" Waldorf shouted. "That's the usher's job!"
More laughter.
"Then I'll have the usher throw you out!"
"He can't, he's too busy."
"Doing what?"
"Keeping people in! Tohohoho!"
Another round of laughter.
"I'll call the police!"
"Good! You'll need all the protection you can get! Tohohoho!"
The audience laughed as the puppets heckled Yang.
"For the first time," Blake said pausing to take a breath. "I'm liking this."
"I think I'm going to need some popcorn," Weiss said.
"Same here," Jaune said.
Deadpool What Would Happen?
Deadpool! What would happen if you were fighting in the war against Salem?
Land of Darkness.
Salem stood atop a mountain overlooking a scene.
"This will be my base of operations," Salem said. "From here I will plan my conquest. Now I just need to—"
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"
Salem jumped and turned to see a man in a red and black jumpsuit. His face is completely covered in a mask. On his back are two katanas and in his hands are two pistols.
"Who are you?"
"The names Deadpool! Merc with the mouth! Regenerating Degenerate! Plus, the guy who is going to kill you!"
He opened fire upon her. The bullets sank into her flesh, but she still stood. When he ran out of clips, he tossed them to the side and drew his katanas. Before he got within an inch of her, he was blasted by dark energy.
"That was…unexpected," Salem muttered as she stared at where he once stood. "Now, where was I?"
1,000 years later
"Is the virus prepared?" Salem asked.
"Yes milady," Dr. Arthur Watts said as he handed it to Cinder Fall. "Just make sure you don't screw this up for us."
"Wouldn't dream of it," Cinder hissed as she took it.
"If you are done," Salem said pointedly. "We can now get down to our plans. Cinder, you and your team will be…"
A second later, everything became enveloped in a white flash. Salem felt herself become bits and pieces as she felt force crash into her like a wave. A few seconds later, she reformed just in time to see what once stood her castle was a smoking crater.
"What just happened?"
"The NUCLEAR option, that's what!" Deadpool shouted as he came over to her. "Had to call in a few favors to get that over here. I'm sure that no one will want to come here after the FALLOUT of this meeting."
"YOU! But how…I…"
"Killed me? You won't believe how many times I've died. Plus, I did say I was the regenerating degenerate."
Salem gritted her teeth as her plans had been set back. Centuries of planning went down the drain all because of this man. "You will regret this Deadpool…"
"Trust me, I regret not going back to before you got your ugly makeover," Deadpool said. "I'm much better than the Wizard of Oz. I mean seriously, what did you even see in him."
"This isn't over," Salem seethed. "I will gather another army and conquer the world!"
"Then plan away," Deadpool said nonchalantly. "We've got plenty of time."
[~][~]
APRIL FOOLS! You guys didn't take me, seriously did you (though some of you guessed this was coming)? That announcement was all a ruse. Deadpool kept screwing with the plot after giving Squirrel Girl those cards. Thanks to him, the next chapter got screwed up. So, I had to get rid of him by giving this fake announcement. I know it's hypocritical considering I did a chibi starring him, but I only kept his comedy. Plus, I figured that in a time of CORVID-19 that we needed a little humor to keep our spirits up. What better way to do that than on April Fools! Thanks for reading this.
Now, on to Q&A:
Mobian: I'll get to that in the X-Men arc. APRIL FOOLS!
Edinosaur25: In this case, he's been cut off from the rest of the world. So yeah, he didn't know.
Chaldea: Remnant isn't going to take Kang's rule quietly. No further spoilers.
Omegashark18: As above, I did this to get rid of Deadpool.
Bigwavexs: Nope.
The mysterious Mr.E: Nope, not really.
Thanks for reading! See you all—
AHA!
Crud. He's back.
I KNEW IT! I knew it was all a ruse! Just like when Cable lied about that hot sexy babe!
It worked for a while didn't it? I knew I should have posted that a few weeks ago.
How about a few weeks of a waste of time? As long as there is a Marvel continuity, I will be there!
Except for the animated series back in the 1900's.
Whatever! The point is that there is nothing you can do to get rid of me!
Actually…I seem to recall one more Chibi I had planned for this. It involves you.
Really? Now I'm excited! What is it?
It's called [REDACTED].
[REDACTED]? What kind of chibi title is that?
Simple, can you tell us your name?
Sure…? My name is [REDACTED]. The [REDACTED] with the [REDACTED]. The [REDACTED] [REDACTED]. Wait…what the hell?!"
Exactly. Your name is [REDACTED]. One crucial fact that you forgot [REDACTED], it's that the only reason you are here is because the comic writers wanted you to do it. It's the whole reason they killed the Marvel Universe…TWICE! Plus turning the Marvel Heroes into zombies, which is how you became more of an annoyance.
Oh [REDACTED]…WHAT THE [REDACTED]…I can't [REDACTED] say [REDACTED]!
And considering I'm the writer for this fic, it's safe to say that I'm in control. I've taken the liberty of redacting certain words on you. The best part about the Continuity Gem is that it only allows you to talk to the comic book writers, and this isn't a comic book! Meaning you can't undo it.
You can't keep [REDACTED] in here forever! I'll just have to get [REDACTED] over to the main storyline…
Yeah, about that…another thing I can do is trap you in the Chibiverse.
WHAT THE [REDACTED]! That's not even a [REDACTED]!
Come on [REDACTED], it's not all that bad. At least you'll be with your kind. Anyway, that's all folks!
See you next time!