When Pepa woke up the next day, she immediately realized that her husband was not there with her.
Hmm… I wonder where he is. I'll go downstairs and look for him.
"Oh, hey! You're finally out of your room, Tía!"
Ugh. Mirabel.
"Y-y-yes… I am…" Pepa stammered, with great effort. Her voice was still weak and fragile from days of crying.
Mirabel crossed her arms.
"Are you finally going to do something useful with your life?" she asked, with a piercing stare.
"Huh? What are you talking about?" Pepa put her hand over her pounding heart.
"You stay in bed all day! And when you do come out, you just cry all the time! You don't even eat with us anymore!"
"And since when have you cared?" Pepa snapped back.
"I bet you don't even shower anymore!" Mirabel continued. "You smell like rotten meat!"
"Well, that because… I… I…" Pepa started, but she couldn't hold back her rage.
"You know what? You're just a stupid kid. You'd never understand. You'll never have to go through what I did. Never, never, NEVER!"
Pepa charged at Mirabel and pushed her against the wall. Her storm clouds were getting darker and heavier.
Mirabel was afraid that a bolt of lightning would hit her any second.
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry! Please don't kill me!" she wailed.
Félix waddled into the room.
"Pepa, my love! What's going on?"
"That little brat was bullying me again!"
Félix sighed.
"Come on, Pepa. Let's get you back upstairs. I think you need to get more rest."
Later that day, Agustín heard Julieta crying in the kitchen.
"What's wrong, my love? I thought that I heard you crying."
I shouldn't tell him that I'm in pain, Julieta decided.
"Uh… I… umm… tried to cook something, but it came out all wrong!"
"Oh, no! How did that happen?"
"I don't know. I must have misread the measurements…"
"Well, then! Maybe you need to wear your glasses!" Agustín suggested.
"Y-y-you know about those?"
"Yeah, of course!" said Agustín. "As a glasses wearer, I always notice when someone else has glasses!"
"I'm sorry," said Julieta. "I didn't mean to copy you…"
"No, it's wonderful!" said Agustín. "I wish that everyone would wear glasses!"
"Mami wouldn't like that," said Julieta. "She hates people with glasses."
"Why would she?" Agustín asked. "She wears glasses, too."
"SHE DOES?!" Julieta laughed through the pain. She couldn't imagine her mother wearing glasses.
"Yeah!" Agustín said. "I saw her wearing some, just a few days ago!"
"Hmmm…" Julieta wondered. "Why have I never seen her with them?"
"Maybe she just isn't ready to show everyone, yet."
"I understand," Julieta said. "This is a sensitive topic, and she shouldn't announce anything yet if she doesn't feel like it."
"Okay," Agustín said. "I'm gonna go back outside for no reason."
"Alright!" Julieta said. "Remember to stay away from bees."
The next day, Bruno heard Pepa vomiting.
"Hey, Pepa. Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I just had a bit too much to drink…" Pepa said.
That was only part of the problem. She had been feeling unwell for quite a while.
Bruno stared at her.
Somehow, he could always tell when something was wrong.
Pepa did like to drink, but never to this extent.
"Okay, fine!" Pepa said, disconcerted by her brother's piercing stare. "Everything hurts… and I'm always tired…"
"Well, maybe you just need to eat more," Bruno suggested.
"But even when I do eat, it doesn't help!"
Bruno sighed.
"I guess I'm just getting old. I could die any day!" Pepa said. "Do you think that I'm gonna die soon?"
Bruno was silent for a while before responding.
"When you think that the sands of time have all fallen, take a look closer at the hourglass. You may see that a single grain is still left at the top."
What does he think he's doing? Trying to sound deep? Pepa thought. She was just about to tell him how stupid he sounded, when a loud crash was suddenly heard coming from the kitchen.
"Oh, no!" Bruno said. I hope Julieta's okay. Mamá has been especially mean to her lately…"
"Well? Let's go see what's going on!" Pepa said, following him as he hurried into the kitchen.
Julieta was on the ground with a black eye.
"Ow… ow… ow…"
"Julieta! Julieta!" Pepa called.
"What happened?" Bruno asked.
"I just slipped on a banana peel," said Julieta. "I'm fine."
"Wow! You really did gain weight!" Bruno said, after he and Pepa helped her up. As they did, they noticed that she had bruises on her arms as well.
"BRUNO!" Pepa hissed through clenched teeth.
"Well… I'm in the kitchen pretty much all the time now," Julieta said. "It's I haven't had much time to exercise lately…"
"Yeah, and we miss you!" Bruno said.
"Y-y-you do? Really? Even though I'm so fat and gross now?" Julieta asked.
"Of course we do! You're our sister!" Bruno said.
"Yes, and we need to spend more time together!" Pepa said.
"Well… I… uh… I think you need to go," Julieta said, sweating nervously.
"What? Why?" Pepa whined.
"Mami made a new rule," Julieta said. "Nobody else is allowed in the kitchen with me…"
"Oh, no!" Bruno said. "But you'll get so lonely!"
"It's okay," Julieta said. "I'll be fine."
"Julieta…if something's wrong, you can tell us," said Bruno. "We care about you…"
"JUST LEAVE! GO! NOW!" Julieta shouted, as she heard her mother's angry footsteps approaching the kitchen. "You know how Mamá gets when she's angry…"
"Has she been hitting you?!" Pepa asked.
"N-n-no…" Julieta said, quickly rolling her sleeves down over her bruised arms.
"JULIETA!" Alma shouted as she charged in. "WHY ARE YOU LETTING OTHER PEOPLE INTO THE KITCHEN?!"
Julieta stared silently.
"ANSWER ME, OR ELSE!" Alma asked, making a fist.
"No, Mami… please don't hit me again…" Julieta hunched over and began shaking.
"Leave her alone!" Pepa pleaded.
"Don't tell me what to do! I'm your mother, and I'm in charge!" Alma roared.
Mirabel had trouble sleeping that night. Her mother's cries from being beaten were echoing in her head.
"I'll just go sit on the roof," she said.
While trying to climb onto the roof, Mirabel lost her footing. As she slipped and almost fell off, she started to see her life flash before her eyes. Just as suddenly, she felt some bony fingers wrapped around her hand.
After using all of her strength to pull Mirabel up onto the roof, Pepa took a while to catch her breath. She felt weak, and there was a burning sensation in her chest.
"T-T-Tía? I didn't know you were here! I can leave, if you want. I know you hate me," Mirabel said.
"Actually…" Pepa said, between gasps. "I was hoping to see you."
"Uh… okay," said Mirabel. "Ummm…what are you gonna do?"
"I don't know…" Pepa said, staring into the distance.
Maybe I should jump off and end my miserable life, she thought.
"Tía? Are you okay?"
"Yeah… I just wanted to say that…uh… never mind."
"Please don't do anything stupid," said Mirabel. "I care about you. I'll always care. Even though you hate me…"
Mirabel started choking up. Despite not getting along very well with her aunt, she still felt very concerned for her health.
Is Tía Pepa going to die? she thought, remembering a dream that she'd had a few days ago.
'Hey, Mirabel,' Julieta said. 'You know that Tía Pepa is dying, right?'
'Why should I? She probably doesn't want to see me! She hates me!'
'Because… she's family. And this might be the last time you see her.'
'You know what? You're right!' Mirabel said, running into Pepa's room.
'She is in pain,' Félix said, as Pepa whimpered and groaned.
'I'm glad that you're in pain! I'm glad that you're dying!' Mirabel said, jumping onto Pepa. 'Did you really think that I'd be sad, after you were mean to me for most of my life?! I know you hate me! Well, guess what? I hate you!'
She began punching Pepa over and over again.
'I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!'
"I don't know what I did, but… I'm sorry," Mirabel said, snapping back to reality. "Sorry that I'll never be good enough…"
"It's me," Pepa said. "I'm the one who's not good enough."
"Huh?" Mirabel asked. "What are you talking about?"
"Every single day, someone's always mad at me, or disappointed in me…"
Maybe it's because of your awful personality, Mirabel thought, but she didn't say so. Now was not the time.
"It's because of my gift!" Pepa said. "It's more of a curse, if you ask me…"
She straightened her spine and stuck out her chin.
"Remember those few days when I didn't have it? I was GLAD!"
"Oh! Tía, I…"
Mirabel was shocked and didn't know what to do. She was used to hugging people when they needed comfort, but Pepa hated being touched.
Well, I could try… Mirabel thought.
As Pepa saw Mirabel inching closer, she immediately moved away.
But she slid just a bit too far, and ending up falling off the roof.
Crack!
The back of her head hit the pavement, and a bright light flashed before her.
Pepa squeezed her eyes tight as severe pain rushed through her entire body.
Slowly, she began to feel calm.
It's all over now. I've died!
She opened her eyes and saw a man standing in front of her. He looked strangely familiar, although she was sure they'd never met.
Where have I seen him before? The picture on the wall…
"Well… hello, Pepa."
"Are you my Papá?"
"Yes, I am."
"But… does that mean I'm dead?"
"No. Your time isn't up yet, mija."
"I don't want to go back, though…"
"Why not?"
"My entire family hates me!" Pepa said. "I'm a failure!"
"They don't hate you, and you're not a failure."
"Then what do I need to do?"
"Just… try being a little nicer to everyone."
"Even Mirabel?"
"Yes, even Mirabel. She is just a kid, after all."
"B-b-but… I…"
"You can do it. Make me proud, Pepa."
"No… I didn't even get to…"
"I love you."
Pepa went to bed and tried to snuggle with Félix.
Félix tensed up, and moved his arm when she touched it.
"Sweetie…" she whimpered, as he turned away from her.
I guess he hates me now, she decided.
The next day, Agustín's hands were slightly swollen for some reason. Julieta didn't even turn to look at him as he walked into the kitchen.
"Hello, my love!"
"What do you want?" Julieta asked. "I thought that you were going to play the piano for no reason."
"I can't…"
"And why not?"
"My hands are swollen."
"Let me see," Julieta sighed.
Agustín showed Julieta his hands.
"Oh, you're fine!" Julieta said. "Go back out and play!"
She froze briefly as she heard her mother's footsteps once again.
"Hurry up! I don't want Mami to hit me again…"
When Agustín returned to the piano, Pepa was sitting on the edge of the bench.
"Uhh… excuse me?" Agustín said.
Pepa stared into the distance, not answering.
"Can you move, please?" he asked.
Pepa continued staring, with tensed muscles and labored breathing.
Agustín sighed and sat down next to her.
As he played, she slowly began to relax.
"I like that…" Pepa said quietly, after he finished.
"Oh?" Agustín said. "Uh… thanks!"
He started again, but was interrupted by Pepa suddenly falling off the bench. Her eyes rolled back into her head as began shaking violently and foaming at the mouth.
Bruno, who was just entering the room, began panicking.
"Oh, no! What if she's dying? I have to tell someone!"
Agustín did nothing to help. He only stared at her, his eyes wide and his jaw hanging open.
"I'm gonna get help," Bruno decided. He ran towards the kitchen, but bumped into his mother.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Alma said. "Where are you going?"
"To the kitchen."
"And why in the world would you want to be in the kitchen?"
"I need Julieta!"
"Ha!" Alma laughed. "What would you ever need her for?"
"Pepa's dying!"
"Really?" Alma asked. "What makes you say that?"
"She's having a seizure!"
"She's probably just overwhelmed by her hatred of Mirabel."
"Oh, okay."
Shortly after her birthday, Pepa was crying yet again.
"Come on, Pepa. Have some cake. Maybe it will cheer you up," Julieta said.
"No," Pepa said quietly. "I don't deserve it…"
"What do you mean? It's your birthday! Of course you deserve cake!" Bruno said.
"N-n-no… I really don't…" Pepa said.
"Why not?" Julieta asked.
"I'm too old…"
"You're never too old for cake, Pepa!" Bruno said.
"NO!" Pepa wailed. "I'm too old to have my baby!"
"What are you talking about?" Abuela asked her. "You have three children already."
"No! My other baby! I was supposed to have one after Antonio…"
"Well, of course you're too old!" Abuela scoffed. "Why did you want to do that, anyways?"
"I didn't exactly want to!" Pepa shot back. "Well, not at first."
"Do you… uhh… wanna be left alone?" Julieta asked.
"No," Pepa said, trying not to cry. "I need to say this."
She took a deep breath before starting her story.
"Do you remember when I kept talking about having a baby? Well, that's because I really, truly did believe that I was going to have one. And I almost did!"
Pepa would never forget the day that she found out. She had excitedly called Dolores over.
'Do you hear it? Do you hear the baby?'
'Y-y-yes… I do…'
"I knew that at my age, it was very unusual. So, I thought this would be my chance to prove that I was still special," Pepa continued. "Over time, I became more and more excited about my new baby."
A lump formed in her throat as she reached the saddest part of the story- her most painful memory.
"And then when I found out what happened, I was heartbroken."
She hadn't realized that anything was wrong, until it was too late. Dolores couldn't hear a heartbeat. Pepa had gone to Julieta for help. Although she knew it was silly, she didn't know what else to do.
The baby was gone. It had only been a little over four months, so there was no chance of saving him. But he was just big enough that Pepa he could tell he was a boy.
"Wait… that's what you wanted, that one night when you were screaming and crying at my door?" Julieta asked.
Pepa nodded, as tears streamed down her face.
"I still hoped that maybe if I kept trying, I'd get another chance. But did you care? No! You all just laughed at me and called me crazy!"
They would never know the pain she went through due to her advanced maternal age, or what it was like having to say goodbye to a baby who would never hear her anyways.
"Maybe this is my fault, though. I shouldn't have let all the bullying get to me. Maybe if I hadn't been stressed out so much, I'd be able to… I mean, I would have…" Pepa became more and more choked up, but was determined to finish.
"You know what? Go ahead. Keep bullying me. Laugh at me all you want. But my baby was real! And I failed him. I failed the entire family. I'm a failure! I'm so sorry…"
Pepa couldn't take it anymore. She ran off to her room, as the cloud above her head left trail of rain puddles behind her.
After slamming the door behind her, she threw herself onto her unmade bed and cried harder.
Mirabel spoke up, after a long silence.
"Well, I feel really bad for her."
"Really?" Bruno asked. "Why?"
"She believed that she would have a miracle, but it was taken away from her."
"Yeah!" Julieta said. But you're a man, so you would never understand what she's going through, Bruno."
Mirabel really wished that she could say or do something to help.
But she clearly doesn't want me around, so I'll just respect her wishes and stay away from her.
"Is this my fault?" Alma asked. "Did I cause her to lose her baby?"
"I don't think so," Julieta said. "But you could have shown a little more compassion. That's your daughter, and that was your grandchild…"
"You laughed, too!" Alma said.
"Yes, at first," Julieta admitted. "But I shouldn't have. Because I still believe in miracles. After all… that's why we're all here, isn't it? Because of a miracle?"
"Well… uhh… yes."
"I think that you should go say something to her…" Félix chimed in.
"Really?" Alma asked. "You think she wants to hear from me?"
"She's been hurt more badly than you can even imagine," Félix said, stopping to weigh his words. He didn't want to tell them Pepa's other secret- she had often talked about wanting to die.
"The things she's been saying about herself… it breaks my heart. She needs to know that you still care."
"Really? She seemed so happy to me…" Bruno said.
Alma sighed.
"I thought that I was a better person now. But once again, I've made a member of the family feel worthless."
"Okay," said Bruno. "Can I have some more cake?"
"BRUNO!" Julieta scolded.
Alma went and knocked on Pepa's door.
"C-c-come in… I guess…" Pepa said, shivering from the cold rain.
Alma entered the room and picked up the blanket.
"If you're here to tell me that I'm a bad mother, I already know," Pepa said. "I know that, because otherwise my baby would be here with me right now."
"No! You're not a bad mother!" Alma said, draping the blanket over Pepa. "You're not a failure, either."
"Then… why didn't I… why couldn't I…"
"I don't know. Life just isn't fair sometimes."
"I really wanted my baby. But I also wanted to make my family proud. That was my last chance. I don't know what else I can do now."
"You don't have to do anything. I shouldn't have made you feel like you had to do the extraordinary, just to be loved," Alma said. "I love you, no matter what. And… I'm sorry."
Pepa lifted her head, with her eyes still teary and a sad smile on her face. Before she could stop herself, she threw her arms around her mother and pulled her in for a very tight hug.
"Oh? I thought you hated hugs?" Alma said, and she began to smile slightly as well.
"No… I love hugs."
Her stomach gurgled violently.
"You really do want cake, don't you?" Alma asked.
"Maybe…" Pepa said.
After a few more minutes, Pepa came out of her room.
Dolores ran over and hugged her.
"I heard you loved hugs?" she asked.
"Yeah. I do…"
Dolores cringed as Pepa's stomach continued to make gross noises, but she held on even still. She knew her mother needed that hug.
"I heard everything," she admitted. "But I didn't say anything, because I was too afraid of saying something wrong."
"It's okay," Pepa said. "I understand…"
"In this family, nobody will have to suffer alone ever again," Alma said. "If somebody has a problem weighing on their heart, they should feel free to talk about it."
"Are you alright, Mami?" Camilo asked.
"I will be," Pepa said, although she really wasn't sure. "Anyways! I'm ready to have cake now!"
"You can't," Bruno said. "I ate it all."
"BRUNO!" Pepa screamed, and then slapped him across the face.
"Ha, ha," Bruno said. "Just kidding."
On Sunday, Pepa went back to church with her family for the first time in a while.
She didn't interact much with anyone there.
She kept her eyes on Bruno, who was sitting next to her.
He had hidden some rats his poncho, and was giggling as they crawled around.
Thud!
Pepa heard a sound, and turned her head to the other side. Julieta was exhausted as usual, and she sat down rather forcefully. As she struggled to breathe, The Priest approached her.
"Congratulations!" he said, reaching out to rub her belly.
Julieta glared at him.
"Leave. Me. Alone."
Mirabel was sitting in front of them, nervously glancing around.
I sure hope that a certain somebody doesn't show up today…
At that very minute, Osvaldo walked in.
"Aw, darn…" Mirabel muttered.
Please don't sit next to me, please don't sit next to me…
A few seconds later, Mirabel's screams filled the air.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!"
"Shut up, Mirabel," Alma said. "He can sit wherever he wants."
"I don't know why she hates me!" Osvaldo said. "I'm such a nice guy!"
Mirabel curled up and cried for the rest of the church service.
Julieta fell asleep, but Agustín elbowed her in the ribs.
"OW!"
"No sleeping in church!"
On their way out, Pepa stood in front of Julieta to block her way.
"Excuse me?" Julieta said. "Can you let me go, please?"
"Not until you answer me something," Pepa said, shaking her braid off of her shoulder.
"Okay, okay," Juliet said. "What is it?"
"I've been meaning to ask… are you… pregnant?"
Julieta stared at Pepa for a few seconds, and then laughed until she could barely breathe.
"I need to sit down."
After she sat down and caught her breath, she continued laughing.
Pepa crossed her arms and stared sternly.