ADAS KALLIG

Coruscant. A seat of the galactic republic, the most populated world in the galaxy and a most corrupt and deprived place in the known space, easily trumping even the worst planets belonging to the hutt. It would have been perfect if not for all these jedi that were protecting it. Or at least that has been a case during my time.

The first thing I felt after the ship landed on the planet and I was taken outside was the feeling of the corruption and suffering permanating the entire planet. It was quite a pleasant sensation, similar to the one I felt during my visits to Dormund Kaas. All in all, Coruscant gave me a good first impression.

It also didn't hurt that it was looking quite majestic. Entire planet was made into one city, with skyscrapers high enough to tower over clouds. Not many views can compare to it.

I didn't exactly have time to sightsee though. The moment we landed, I was visited by Anakin and Ahsoka, who apparently were ordered to bring me to their masters immediately. That's why I had only a few minutes to observe the world around me before being taken into one of their transport ships, called LAAT.

Apparently we were going to fly to the jedi temple located on the planet.

"So" I started, wanting to break the silence on the ship "What should I expect? Electrocuting me into submission? Some dark side ritual meant to break my mind and extract useful information? What do you typically do to your prisoners?"

Anakin looked at me, clearly infuriated. At this point I just assumed it was his normal mood. I don't think I ever saw him smile in my presence.

"How many times do I have to tell you this? We are not sith! You will be taken before the Jedi Council and then you will probably be sent to prison for your crimes!"

"And what are my crimes?" I asked, genuinely curious. Oh, I was responsible for many bad things, some of them could be even called 'atrocities" by the small minded, but I was interested about how many of them were known by him.

"Aside from being an insufferable madman? Is the fact that you are a Sith not enough?" Wait, did he really not know anything? And he decided to imprison me anyway?

"Wow, you really are a model sith, huh?" I declared, clearly making Anakin more mad.

"Master, please calm down" spoke Ahsoka, trying to stop Anakin from doing anything stupid "And you Adas, can you stop provoking everyone?" What? What did I do? I just asked an honest question!

"For now you will be taken to talk with the council" She continued "They will be the ones to decide your fate. But I'm sure it won't be so bad. For a sith you are not... that bad" She didn't sound too convincing, but I didn't say anything, being already prepared for the bad outcome. If everything went south and they would try to kill me, I would just throw a storm or two at them and run away. I assume they would be too strong to just kill them all at once, so it was the best option at the moment.

"Snips, don't try to befriend the enemy," Anakin admonished Ahsoka "you know fully well that you can't trust the sith, no matter how nice they appear" he said, scowling. He had real trust issues, huh?

"Well, I'm sure you have a reason to dislike other Sith" I said, trying to be friendly "But I truly believe you will be able to find a nice, caring sith in the future, with whom you will be able to feel safe"

To make him believe in my sincerity I also decided to use my own experiences to convince him. "I was also hurt in the past. Darth Zash betrayed my trust, making me feel that I won't find any good sith in my life. But two years later I met Lana Beniko, and she became my world"

I put my hand on Anakin's shoulder, looking him in the eyes with sympathy. "I'm sure you will find your own special sith soon, who will make you forget the entire world."

There were two seconds of silence. Then everything became chaotic.

I was standing in front of the door, apparently leading to the jedi council chamber. I was being escorted by two nameless temple guards, who ignored my every attempt at conversation. Why wasn't I escorted by Anakin and Ahsoka? Well, Anakin had one of his episodes. We were talking, I thought we even started to bond a little, when he suddenly triggered, pounding at me and shouting threats. Ahsoka and his clones had to physically stop him from attacking me by placing themselves between us and grabbing his hands before he was able to do anything.

The moment we landed at the temple, he was quickly escorted out by Ahsoka after explaining the situation to the guardians waiting for us. They didn't say anything, so it must have been a normal situation for them. It must be hard to keep a rabid dog on your premises.

My new guards told me to come with them, not saying the word ever since. They kept giving me odd looks though. Weird.

Anyway, I am about to be put on trial by the Sith council. That's normal, it happened to me before. The only weird thing is that I didn't feel any dark side here. I could sense a lot of dark energy under the temple, but it was distant. It didn't come from here at any rate. What was going on?

The door opened, someone clearly using the force to do that. My guards looked at me, signaling me with their eyes to get inside. With no reason to refuse, I stepped inside.

I was quite surprised by the sight before me. I expected to see a proper sith room, with dark colours and expensive furniture meant to show the class and status of the owners. Instead, I saw a big empty room, with no decorations and chairs as the only addition to the room. It was also bright there, with no cozy darkness the sith were known for.

The most surprising thing in the room were people though. Instead of sinister Siths in black robes I saw a gathering of various races. Humans, Togruta, kel, cerean and even a member of this funny green species that everyone knows, but no one knows their name.

Yet even the fact that there were various races there wasn't important. The important thing was that I still couldn't feel the dark side. They all felt like they were light-natured. I was quite confused by this development. They most probably weren't the sith, as I would feel something even if that thing was them trying to conceal their nature. So what did it mean?

If they were to be Jedi, why did they keep an obvious sith like Anakin around?

"Darth Imperius" I heard a voice filled with scorn. I looked up, finding the voice coming from a black, bald man in brown robes. He had a piercing gaze and considerable power, probably meaning he was quite important. "You are standing in the presence of the Jedi Council, protectors of peace, and guardians of the Galactic republic. It is our duty to protect the balance of the force and the peace in the Galaxy. Your status as a lord of sith made you a threat to both. We decided to put you under trial, to decide your future. Do you have anything to say before we begin?"

Okay, now I really start to think they are actual jedi. Only they can be so self-righteous and condescending. It still doesn't explain Anakin, but it's a problem for another time, I have other things to do for now. I had to think. If this is really a jedi order, that means I am really in the republic. It's evidently a different republic, as they use sith symbols and slave-soldiers, but republic all the same. Wait, does it mean it's going to be a real trial? With actual evidence and honest process? Damn it. I know my way around fake trials, but the real one?

I also don't know anything about the republic law, so it's not like I can defend myself personally.

"I request the attorney" I announced. I am clearly out of my depth, so I need a professional to help me.

"What?" Exclaimed the human with the beard, clothed in the white robe. Another person strong in force, though obviously weaker than the baldy and small green alien in the center chair. "You can't be serious!"

"This is a trial, yes?" I asked, puzzled. Did they really expect me to know anything about their law, after thousands of years in isolation?

"Yes, but you are a sith. What do you expect a lawyer to do?" Asked the beard-man, incredulous "somehow convince us that you didn't know what you were doing and becoming a sith lord was an unfortunate accident?"

"I mean, I really don't know anything about your legal system, so I think having a professional lawyer with me would really help me understand what's going on. Actually, what am I accused of, anyway?" I started to think that they didn't really know what they were doing. Did they really expect that I would just sit quietly and let myself be sentenced?

"I would assume the corruption of the natural order would be the first thing on the list" He deadpanned. Wow, he was really arrogant. Typical jedi then.

"Not wrong he is" spoke the green alien for the first time "disturbance of the flow of the force, the darkside is. Sith try to bend the force to their will, destroying the balance with every action, often leading to disasters. To stop such things from happening, is the Jedi's duty." What nonsense. He spoke like some sort of drunk Jedi consular, trying to sound smart without giving any actual information. He tried to continue, but I decided to interrupt:

"Yeah, sure. But what legal article penalizes a corruption of force?" I like the nonsensical jedi 'wisdom' like the next guy, but let's try to have priorities. We shouldn't waste time listening to some crazed elder with obvious dementia.

"Are you mocking us?" Asked the baldy, raising from his chair. "You are a sith lord, an ancient enemy to the jedi order and the galaxy republic. How dare you make some asinine jokes in this situation?" He was getting angry. Seriously, what's wrong with them? I came to them willingly, acted politely and even tried to act competent, asking for legal advice.

"I am serious about this. That's why I want an attorney. Isn't it normal in this type of situation?" They didn't answer me, instead looking at each other, as if unsure what to do. Did they not prepare for this? Wait, Anakin was acting similarly. He didn't know about any of my crimes, but wanted to imprison me anyway. Hmm? Does that mean...

I have a question" I declared, bringing back the attention of the jedi to me. When I was sure they were all listening to me, I asked a very important question, hoping my hunch was right "Am I actually guilty of any crime according to the republic legal system?"

There was silence. Every jedi in the room started to frown, actually considering this. I couldn't stop myself from grinning. This was great. If my suspicions were to be confirmed, it would be the funniest thing to happen to me in a long time.

"No, no, no. That can't be right" spoke the Beard Man, clearly appalled by the very thought of me being innocent " I'm sure there must be some law against being the sith"

"the sith are allied with the confederacy, surely it would mean..." Started the Cerean Man, only for me to respond before he could continue.

"But I am not allied with the confederacy. I was freed from my tomb just recently, remember?"

He looked at me, his eyes practically screaming at me to shut up. Honestly, I was having the time of my life. There were still some questions I needed some answers for, like Jedi working alongside the sith and imperial symbols used in the republic, but right now, I was content.

"Enough" came a voice of the baldy "It's obvious that we lost focus. For now we should take a break and consult a legal departament about the matter. After doing that, we will resume the trial" he was obviously trying to save their dignity, without much success. "And you '' he addressed me with a clear threat and hostility in his voice "don't you think that this is over. Republic is not something you can make fun of using some formalities. You will be judged."

"...after a long consideration and detailed analysis of the Republic's legal system, it was decided that you didn't commit any crime punishable by law " the baldy, or rather Mace Windu, was visibly pained while saying that, his words coming through the gritting teeth. Man looked like he was having a stroke, the vein on his head was pulsating and he was visibly shaking from anger. Other jedi looked only a little better, as the green dwarf, Yoda, was resting his head on his cane, as if fighting with the headache and the man with the beard, Obi-wan Kenobi, hid his face in his hands, obviously still trying to comprehend the situation. It was honestly hilarious that even after several days, they still weren't able to find anything. It was worth these days spent in the cell, waiting for them to reach this amazing conclusion.

"You...are free to go" ended Windu, saying these last words with great effort. Then he looked me in the eyes. There was still determination there, even after such a humiliation. "However you are still a sith lord. You are an obvious security threat and there is no way we are letting you go so easily. You will be given jedi handlers, so when you slip up, and I know you will, we will be ready. Then you will end up in a cell for the rest of your life"

I almost pitied these jedi. They were so adorably incompetent I almost petted Windu on his small, bald head. He would probably not react well though, so I restrained myself.

Either way, it didn't matter what they said. I won this round. They can place however many jedi around me they want, they can't do anything to me unless I do something very stupid in their presence. And I have a lot of experience in doing stupid things unnoticed.

Now that this farce is over though, what's next? Should I go to Tython and loot some temples? Visit a Dormund Kaas to see if my house is still there? Or maybe recruit some mandalorians to create my own mercenary force? Possibilities are endless!

Before I decided anything, some man, dressed like an official, approached our group. After greeting us, he asked about Adas Kallig, having an important message to pass.

"That would be me," I replied, interested. Who would look for me? I was moved to the temple the second I landed on the planet and spent all my days on Coruscant in Jedi custody. I haven't had the time to make any connections yet.

"Chancellor Sheev Palpatine would like to schedule a meeting with you, hoping to meet an individual who caused the Jedi so much legal trouble. He wants to personally measure the man he was warned about by his allies in the order. Of course he also invites any member of the order who wants to accompany Alas Kallig, as a safety measure." Okay, now Windu definitely looks like he is seconds away from keeling over. And now Yoda is slowly hitting his cane with his head, as if trying to make himself forget the entire situation. Nice.

"Please tell the Chancellor that I'm interested," I said with a smile.