When she was in Azarath, the monks had drilled into Raven that she was to be up and meditating before sunrise. She didn't really mind the early mornings. It was a good time to be outside her room without having to talk to anyone.
It had been a long time since she woken up to the sun in her eyes.
Raven hovered there, at the edge between waking and sleeping, until she finally shifted to her side to fall back asleep.
Pain. Sharp and shooting, like tearing open a scab, pulsated through her pelvis and sliced at her sacral chakra.
That gloved hand slid down her bare stomach, pulling at her breasts. It kept sliding, between her thighs, then with no warning, no hesitation, up up up inside of her. A scream dragged out of Raven's throat, raw and terrifying even to her own ears. Around her, Raven's home was bloodshot and hellish.
A shove.
Down on the cold stone of the building. She tried to get up, tried to fight or flee or anything, fucking anything at all. But He was over her, pushing her head to the ground, whispering with sour breath through his death mask.
"You're going to destroy the world, Raven."
Raven shot up in bed. The sheets were too thin, the room too cold and bright. She panted desperately for air. It smelled like antiseptic and metal. She definitely wasn't in her room. It hurt. It hurt so bad that she couldn't move. Fear and pain ripped through her psyche like a natural disaster. Raven gripped her head like she was trying to clot a wound.
"Raven!"
The med bay door slammed open, revealing the Titans, ready for a fight. Starfire's eyes were glowing. That only happened when she was really mad.
Raven's screams ebbed away. The tsunami in her skull quieted to a dull roar.
Starfire's starbolts fizzled out in her hands. She stepped to Ravens bed, and lay a gentle hand on her shoulder
Starfire was warm, loving, comforting. But never gentle. She never treated anything like it was fragile. The way she was touching Raven now made her feel like glass. A new feeling flooded her.
Shame.
Robin was the first to break the silence. "Raven. You're awake."
They'd seen her. They knew what she was. What had happened. What she would do.
"Yeah. I am."
Beast Boy lunged forward with his arms outstretched.
"Dude I was so-" he paused when Raven flinched backwards automatically. "Raven?"
Cyborg glanced from Robin to Beast Boy and finally to Raven
"She's okay B, probably just disoriented. Let's give her some time to wake up while Robin takes a statement. We can see her at dinner."
Beast Boy didn't object. He allowed himself to be led out of the medical bay.
And then there were three.
Robin looked at Starfire. He wasn't meeting Raven's eyes.
"Star, I need to take a statement. She'll still be here after."
Starfire tightened her grip on Raven's shoulder.
"I am not leaving, Robin."
Woah. Raven had never seen Starfire disobey a direct order from Robin before.
He took a step toward the bed. Starfire moved between them. The message was clear. Don't come any closer. I bite.
Raven wanted to brush Starfire off, but something inside her latched onto her friend's gentle hand. She didn't want Starfire to go.
"It's okay Star. I'm fine. I need to talk to Robin so we can figure out what's going on." Starfire hesitated. "Just… come see me later please, okay?"
Finally, Starfire released Raven's shoulder.
"I will see you later." She shot a sidelong glance at Robin. "Call if you need me."
Robin wisely waited until Starfire had left the room to step closer to the bed. Apparently, even fearless leaders were wary of Starfire's wrath.
Raven had seen this happen a million times with other witnesses. Robin would be succinct and calm, almost cold. He would immediately ask exactly what he needed to know, then he would nod briskly and leave to go look for patterns and MO's and whatever else he looked for.
Robin looked at Raven. Raven looked back at Robin. Neither of them spoke.
He'd seen her. He knows he knows he know he-
"What day is it?" Raven blurted.
Robin raised an eyebrow. "Um, the day after your birthday?"
So it was over then. Thank God.
"Right. Good."
They stared at each other again.
"Look, Raven. I know you probably don't want to talk about it, and if you want me to get a counselor in here we can, but I need to know what happened."
There it was. No more beating around the bush.
"No. No counselor. I don't need it." Raven took a moment to take a subtle, cleansing breath. "My father." Robin was still and silent. She couldn't tell what he was thinking behind his mask. "I don't know what Slade had to do with it. I had a vision. On the roof. It was-" Raven took another shuddering breath. "Bad."
She hadn't given any real details. She hoped Robin wouldn't ask for more.
"Raven, I can get something official from you about that later but right now I'm asking as your leader. As your friend. When I found you, things looked… bad."
If Raven's brain hadn't been trying to leak out of her skull, she might have laughed at that. 'Bad' was a major understatement.
"It wasn't great." She said tersely.
"Was it…you know, what it looked like?"
Raven wanted to lie. But he'd seen her fall out of the sky naked as a baby bird falling from a nest. He caught her, and covered her. He already knew the answer to his question.
"Yes."
She still couldn't read his expression behind that stupid mask.
"I'm going to find him. He's not getting away with this." Robin abruptly turned toward the door. "Cyborg said if you're feeling better, you should be stable enough to leave the med bay. Will you be joining us for dinner?" The curtness in his voice surprised Raven, she wanted to tell him to wait, that this went beyond Slade, beyond anything in this dimension. That he should lock her in a soundproof bubble in a dimension where she couldn't hurt anyone.
"Yes."