AN:
Oni: Guys look! Another chapter!
Eridan: Impressivve.
Oni: Why thank you Eridan!
Oni: Now, onto some stuff I would like to address. This story is an AU, which means there are going to be a few changes. Other than the obvious Veil=Portal thing,
1) Alternian IS a separate language other then English.
2) Eridan has Magic
3) Eridan had now claimed House Ravenclaw
4) The Battle of the Department of Mysteries HAS BEEN MOVED TO THE START OF HARRY'S FIFTH YEAR INSTEAD OF AT THE END.
That is all for now.
Eridan: You forgot the most important, I'm NOT fandom Eridan.
Oni: Nobody hates fandom Eridan more than you, dear...
Eridan: Oh yes, also, Oni does not owwn me, Homestuck, or Harry Potter. She does owwn this original idea, howwevver.
Oni: Annnd -
"English"
"Alternian"
Oni: Annnnnnnd ONWARDS!
Learning fast on this alien language (of which the language is called 'English' and the alien race called 'humans') turned out to be a lifesaver when it came to talking with Sirius. The adult human had lots insight into Earth customs. Well, that's not entirely true, but he does know the customs of the very few that reside in a small area of Earth, which instead of having one ruling matriarch like Her Imperious Condescension over the entire planet, is split up into many different areas and is controlled by a patriarchal system. The minority of Magical Britain apparently don't like the rest of Britain because of 'impure blood'. Eridan had asked Sirius what blood color they had and he looked at the troll strangely before saying 'red'. When asked about the non-magicals (called muggles, according to Sirius) he was met with the same answer. Sirius also told the young troll that everyone had the same red blood color.
This horrified Eridan, who immediately began to explain the Hemospectrum and why that was more logical than the human's own prejudice that couldn't even be seen. Sirius was actually really curious about the Hemospectrum and sat through Eridan's entire lecture, held in his respiteblock (which Sirius told Eridan that on Earth it was called a 'bedroom') with many colorful charts and explanations. Somehow this lead to a discussion on blood color properties, which Eridan had studied extensively when he still played FLARP, and the scientific reasons why the Hemospectrum existed.
"You see, Sirius." Eridan started, as if he were teaching, "The higher you are in the Hemospectrum, genetically, the longer your avverage lifespan wwill be. My calculated lifespan, bein a vviolet blood, wwould be a minimum of a twenty-three thousand Alternian swweeps, wwhich, punchin in my convverter is about… fifty Earth millennia." Sirius whistled.
"So how old are you now then?"
"Six swweeps, wwhich is…" he looks at his converter, something he had punched in after asking Sirius how his race views time, "exactly thirteen human years."
"Ah, so I was right. If you went to Hogwarts, you'd be in your third year."
"Howw many years does one study at Hogwwarts?"
"Seven years. It's bloody amazing!"
"Really?" Eridan said, always excited about learning about a Magic School, and propped his arms on the desk table.
"Yeah... oh hey, my godson Harry should just be starting his fifth year. I'll introduce the two of you when we get back!"
"That sounds wwonderful."
Now that Eridan knew English fluently (honestly, the speed he picked it up at just using a Translation Stone was, well, inhuman), the troll's personality started to bleed into his words as the younger alien became comfortable with Sirius's presence. However, it gave the animagus something else to ponder over.
The way Eridan spoke and articulated his words sounded oddly familiar, but he couldn't put a finger on whom. Though, to be honest, the strange accent Eridan had made it more difficult to pin it down. But the way the troll sometimes slowly drawled out words for emphasis or his short bursts of dry sarcasm were making him rack his head because he knew that someone else behaved the same way. There were also the mannerisms, the way his cape billowed as he walked and the way he carried himself with aristocric ease, all pointed to someone but Sirius couldn't remember who. Oh well, he'll figure it out later, he thought to himself.
Eridan's bedroom (respiteblock?) was pretty big, and was filled with bookshelves with large tomes and huge maps of different areas surrounding his house (hive?). It was all a deep teal, but the wood seemed natural, uncolored, and nothing like the wood on Earth. Being on another planet altogether was really jarring, and he was grateful Eridan chose to pick up on English instead of pushing Sirius to learn Alternian. That would have been a nightmare, as Sirius was taught French at an early age but still could only say some really nasty curse words.
It was then that a giant floating white seahorse entered the room, causing Sirius to have to rub his eyes in order to make sure he was seeing that right. If it weren't for the fact that the thing was undoubtedly opaque and had a violet saddle and reigns, the Wizard could have mistaken it for a Patronus.
"...By the wway you're starin at Skyhorse, I assume humans don't havve Lusii?" Eridan drawled, a smirk on his face as Sirius realized his mouth was hanging wide open.
"What's a Lusii?"
"Wwell, Lusii is plural, Lusus is singular. All trolls havve a Lusus. They're alwways pure wwhite beasts that take care of a troll after the grub manages to pass all the trials of the breedin cavverns. Lusii are a troll's caretaker for life, and mine is Skyhorse ovver here."
"…So it's…your dad?"
"Wwhat, perchance, is a dad?"
"The…male that…created you."
"Wwhat?"
"Do you have parents?"
"Wwhat are parents?"
Oh Merlin, what had he gotten himself into now?
An hour or so had passed by as Sirius managed to explain that humans were a mammalian race that reproduced with one male and one female, who took care of their offspring. Sirius was very flustered by this for some reason, and was blushing bright red as he stammered through a human's mating process. Eridan scientifically responded in kind with troll reproduction which merely required troll genetic material, buckets, Imperial Drones and the Mother Grub. It was now the six sweep old's turn to get flustered when he explained the uses of the buckets, and Sirius loudly said that he would never see buckets the same way ever again before muttering about 'Obliviating' himself.
When Sirius asked about lunch, seeing the sun high in the sky, Eridan had to explain to Sirius that trolls were nocturnal but even then only went outside during certain hours. When asked why, the small troll took him to a window (which was heavily tinted) to see the effects that the Alternian Sun had on the planet. He saw Sirius shiver as they watched steam rise at a horrifying pace, one fish got too close to the surface and was cooked by the sun's harsh rays. Sirius actually gasped at this, and Eridan gave him a wry smirk.
"To be honest, the landdwwellers havve it wworse, they get Shadoww Droppers."
"What are those?"
"Trolls are nocturnal, yes? So wwe don't go outside. "
The ship's sensors picked up the fish's demise and a net was deployed with the fish inside.
"There are monsters on Alternia that are undead, and therefore can wwithstand the sun's rays. They cast a shadoww on the land, therefore are called Shadoww Droppers."
Eridan closed the curtains (even with the tint the sun was still painfully bright) and beckoned Sirius into the Meal Block (the kitchen, Sirius remarked) and handed him a nutrition plateau of fish and fruits and some grubmeat, which the man happily ate.
Sirius happily tucked into this alien food, which wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. While the meat and the fish tasted similar to Earth's, the fruits were a different story altogether. Some looked the same and tasted similar, but all were undoubtedly sweeter, as if someone added two spoonfuls of sugar into the flesh of it. The one he held in his hand which looked like a peach was juicy and tasted a lot like a peachy honey. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Eridan take some food out of his refrigerator (or thermal hull, according to the troll later) and sit down next to him. Sirius thought for a moment about what was wrong with this picture, and then put two and two together.
"Hey, if you're nocturnal, why aren't you asleep?"
Eridan looked at him and blinked twice, very slowly, before biting his lip.
"I don't sleep vvery wwell. As a seadwweller, I can understand the wwhispers of Gl'bgolyb, the Emissary to the Horrorterrors. Most trolls can't, so the sopor can calm them dowwn to the point of no nightmares. But seadwwellers hear her call, and her wwords speak of horrible, horrible thins."
Sirius stared at Eridan, and realized that he had dark rings under his eyes.
"Why don't you just kill it then?"
"Kill Gl'bgolyb? No, that would doom us all. She is the Empress and the Heiress's Lusus. The only wway to keep her wwhispers to a minimum is to feed her evvery two perigees or so. A perigee is about a human month, I believve. Wwhen her vvoice gets louder, all of us feel it. If it is too loud, her psychic Vvast Glub wwould kill all life on Alternia and her twwo Moons."
"So who feeds her then?"
Eridan actually gave a dry chuckle.
"Usually, it's the Heiress's job to feed her Lusus."
"So why doesn't she?"
"Because she refuses to hunt, to kill. You havve to understand, Gl'bgolyb feeds on Lusii, so she wwould havve to kill another troll's caretaker. She, of morals unknowwn to trollkind, refuses to keep that burden of knowwin that she had directly orphaned another troll. So she convvinced another troll hunt for her regularly."
Sirius paled. Killing parents to save the planet? This society sounded really messed up.
"So in order to keep the planet safe, someone has to become an orphan to feed a giant monster underneath the sea? Every two months?" Eridan nodded slowly.
"That sounds about right."
Sirius felt sick to his stomach. There was someone out there, killing a troll's parents (or at least a parent equivalent), for the good of the planet. He couldn't even imagine what this person would be like, having to live with that on their mind, or if they just didn't care. Suddenly a picture of Voldemort popped in his head, killing Harry's parents. Sirius clenched his fists, he knew that the circumstances were different here, but he couldn't get the image of a troll Voldemort going around and slaying Lusii. An image of a large, dark, looming figure with a crazed smile appeared in his head and made Sirius shiver.
"That's horrible! If your Heiress doesn't want to, then who's conscience is hard enough, or who's bloodthirsty and cruel enough, to do that?!"
Eridan stared at Sirius, eyes calculating. For a split second, his pupils became narrow, vertical slits, predatory, before saying one word.
"Me."
Sirius felt his blood freeze at that one word.
"I…what?"
"I take Skyhorse and I hunt Lusii every twwo perigees or so to make sure Fef's Lusus is fed. It is in my blood, my Legacy, my ancestor wwasn't called Orphaner Dualscar for nothin." He spoke in the same careful, drawling voice as before.
Sirius stared at Eridan. A kid was responsible for the safety of the entire planet, to which apparently had two moons that would add up to the mass of Earth?
"Why doesn't an adult handle this?"
"Alright," Eridan sighed, taking his glasses off and rubbing the bridge of his nose, "Let me explain to you how troll society wworks. This planet is entirely inhabited by young trolls only. Once a troll becomes an adult, they are wwhisked awway to the Empress's Army, nevver to return again. This leavves us to take care of Alternia, wwhich has a dyin sun and an ovverpopulation of trolls. On Alternia, it is normal to kill each other and their Lusus. Hell, Vvris feeds her spider Lusus other trolls. Wwe play FLARP, wwhich stands for Fatal Livve Action Role-Play and it is completely common for trolls to die playin. And then there's cullin, wwhere if you don't followw all of the Empress's rules, you die. It's common to see a hivve repurposed because the prevvious hivve dwweller wwas culled. The Imperial Drones are merciless. In fact, if they kneww I had you, I wwould be culled for not givvin you up to the authorities, wwere I not a vviolet blood."
He had said this very slowly, like talking to a child that didn't understand they were in trouble. It took Sirius a few minutes to process Eridan's words, before leaning back in his chair in shock.
"Wow. You trolls are bloody crazy." Eridan chuckled at this and got up to pour the two of them something to drink.
"Perhaps from a human vviewwpoint, but in the end wwe are merely different. I'm sure humans wwill behavve in wways I cannot comprehend either."
He offered the mug to Sirius, who took it gratefully and took a sip. It tasted like a very sweet, creamy tea, but held some strange nutty aftertaste as well.
"What is this, by the way?"
"Some grubjuice from the store, wwhy?"
"Never had anything like it, that's all."
"Fascinatin." Eridan drawled out, "You wwould think you wwere on another planet or somethin."
There it was again. That sense of familiarity that Sirius couldn't place. Eridan reminded him of someone but he couldn't think of whom.
There was one thing Eridan was sure both him and Sirius could agree on.
Aliens were weird.
Honestly, it was if he'd never seen a recupracoon in his life! After a while of strange babbling about how "weird it was to bathe in slime", Sirius eventually explained to Eridan that humans slept in things called 'beds'. Sirius then explained what it looked like, what it was made of, and why people slept in it. Eridan just blinked blankly, as it sounded strange to be comfortable unsubmerged in sopor slime. Eventually the troll ended up taking out some blankets usually used for feels jams (the wand pile was way too painful for that) and laid them out on a pile.
That's when Sirius did something that made Eridan jump.
One second the human was there, and then the next had a large black barkbeast where he once stood, which leapt into the pile of blankets. Eridan stood there, shocked at what he just saw. The barkbeast turned to Eridan and gave a sheepish look, before it transformed back into Sirius.
"Er… Sorry kid, forgot that you didn't know about animagi…"
It took Sirius five minutes to explain what an animagus was, and another hour to detail how to do it. Eridan was cautioned not to do it until they got to Hogwarts, but for now the troll marveled at how truly amazing magic could be. After that, Sirius settled into his blanket pile and Eridan attempted to get some sleep too. He would need all the energy to deal with the human as well as figure a way to reopen that arch, so he changed into his sleeping clothes, which were just a violet pair of swimming trunks, and climbed into his recupracoon for the day.
Sirius woke up groggily, not having any idea where he was. He realized he was lying on some nice, soft blankets as Padfoot, but that was about it. His memory still foggy, he got up, stretched, and decided to explore his surroundings. His nose then butted with something large and…purple? There were holes in this big thing, which seemed to contain some glowing green slime, and it had a large opening on the top. Confused, Padfoot stuck his nose inside the large opening, trying to find out what the thing was.
All of a sudden something rose out of the slime. It had large orange-yellow horns and yellow and violet eyes that held a pupil that was simply a vertical slit. The creature from the slime snarled, showing very sharp teeth. Padfoot yelped and fell to the floor belly up, and suddenly the memories of the day before caught up to him. Harry and the Dementor attack in Privet Drive, a pending trial for that, the Department of Mysteries, falling through the Veil, Alternia, Eridan… ERIDAN. Oh Merlin…
Eridan's pupils were now a normal circle shape, and had an amused smirk on his face and a raised eyebrow as he stared down at Sirius, his arms propped, folded, on the rim of the recupracoon. He was shaking slightly, until…
The troll burst into laughter. Sirius rolled his doggy eyes and got up back on all fours, shaking his head of the leftover slime that had fallen on his nose. This ended up with Padfoot sneezing, and that just made Eridan laugh even harder.
"So you don't only take the shape of a barkbeast, you behavve like on as wwell?"
Padfoot changed back into Sirius and stood up to stare eye to eye with the young troll. He wasn't laughing anymore, but Eridan still had that Merlin forsaken smirk on his face.
"I'll have you know that I was named after the star Sirius, also known as the Dog Star."
"That…just provves to me that you really are a wwild animal. Maybe I should start callin you 'Mutt' instead?"
Sirius groaned and rolled his eyes, a large smile on his face. Eridan blinked before climbing out of the recupracoon, and walking into his…Sirius forgot what trolls called the bathroom. Screw it, Eridan's learning Earth lingo anyway. The young seadweller called out behind him.
"You might wwant to decide wwhether or not you wwant to come wwith me today."
"Why? Where are you going?"
"Lusus huntin. If I'm goin to be awway for a wwhile, then I need to make sure Gl'bgolyb is fed before I go." Sirius grimaced.
"I…don't know…" Eridan walked back into his bedroom, fully dressed.
"You can ride Skyhorse wwith me and then you can see Alternia for yourself. I wwonder if it's any different to Earth… Plus you might evven meet my moirail."
"What's a moirail?"
Judging by the evil, razor-toothed smile Eridan was now sporting, he really shouldn't have asked.
Eridan learned one very interesting thing about humans.
They only considered the Matespriteship Quadrant as Romance. In fact, they didn't even have the complex quadrant romance system. Although there were situations where the quadrants could be used, it wasn't considered romance. Eridan had a really fun time explaining to Sirius of the Spade, the Diamond, and the Club, and the uses of all three. Sirius, for the most part, was actually really interested in what he had to say, the most interested he's ever been on one of his explanations.
"And so you have, what, a Kismesis and a Moirail?"
"Vvris isn't my Kismesis anymore. Wwe slowwly broke that off."
"Why? Didn't you hate each other?"
"I hate her guts, but to the point wwhere I wwould gladly feed her and her Lusus to Gl'bgolyb and laugh wwhile she dies. She's annoyin, bitchy, self-centered, megalomanic, and completely out for her owwn gain. In short and in your human slur - fuck no."
"And your Moirail?"
"Fef is the Heiress, wwhich is wwhy you'll probably be able to meet her today, if you wwant."
"Won't she, you know, cull me or something?"
"I believve she's more human-levvel compassionate than troll harshness, unlike her still livvin ancestor."
"Alright, I'll go then."
Sirius was used to flying on a broom, and if he could do that on Alternia, he would. Forgetting about its bloodthirsty, dominant, insect-based race and its messed up society and monsters, Alternia was… breathtakingly bizarre.
Since it was nighttime, the planet's two huge moons shone brilliantly beneath a grey sky, one a lime green and the other pink, and looking closely the pink moon had a small orb orbiting it as well. The clouds changed from shades of pink to shades of blue. Slowly the sky itself changed colors from its original grey to a blue he'd never seen on the sky on Earth to a beautiful purple. The land below had yellow-brown sand before they went deeper into the mainland, to the flat fields of the deepest jade he had ever seen. All sorts of strange buildings were scattered everywhere, all with different colors. Instead of having four-paned windows, each window had twelve panes. Most of the windows held different colored light, and he could see some of the white figures of the different Lusii below. Then Eridan took Skyhorse deep into the Alternian forests, and Sirius gasped in amazement. The grass was still the same green but the trees. The trees had bark that ranged from teal to sky blue and the leaves a deep magenta.
As Sirius marveled at this, Eridan had taken his rifle out of thin air and had begun searching for game. Suddenly they heard a rustle of leaves, and both people on the flying seahorse snapped their heads toward the sound. Sirius noticed Eridan's earfins had flattened once again, and his pupils had become narrow slits.
A large snake leaped from the trees towards them, jaws wide. Sirius noted it had four venomous fangs and three eyes, as well as three tails.
Blam.
Eridan fired his gun, and his aim was perfect. Sirius had to cover his eyes as the blinding white light embodied the actual tip to a diameter the size of Eridan's head and body, firing through the Lusus. Olive green blood poured from the large gaping fatal wound the snake Lusus now sported, before the entire body disappeared. Sirius looked at Eridan, wide eyed.
"I'll explain the capchalog modus later. For noww let's just finish this job." He said tiredly.
Two hours and five Lusii later, they were flying over the sea again. Sirius was now very glad he had not done anything to make Eridan think of firing that thing at his face when he first came through the Veil. He realized that it had only been around fourteen hours since he got to Alternia, but it seemed almost a lifetime ago. Grey clouds mingled with pitch black clouds over the deep blue ocean. At intervals, pink lighting would flash down into the sea. It was a thrill that Sirius took in as they weaved through the clouds until they got to what looked like an empty patch of calm sea. Suddenly all the hunted Lusii appeared out of thin air and fell into the sea, sending a wave upwards that they barely dodged.
"Feeeeeeef! I'vve got food for your Lusus!"
A few moments they were met with complete silence, with only the rolling waves. It was only after fifteen minutes had passed did something happen. Bubbles formed on the surface of the water, then a head popped out, then a torso, then feet, until Sirius saw a female troll that was riding a white seaHORSE Lusus, complete with front hooves, a whale's tail, and a bowtie in its mane. The troll had bushy brown hair not unlike Harry's booky friend, but a jet black like Eridan's. Her horns were a different shape too, they shot up straight and curved away from each other slightly. She wore a golden tiara with a fuchsia gem in the center and a white Pisces symbol inscribed in it, along with a gold choker and several loose necklaces of varying color. Fuchsia goggles were wrapped around fuchsia and orange eyes, which sparkled with mirth and life. Gold cuffs and bangles adorned her wrists and ankles, and she wore fuchsia swimming shoes. A black tank top with a fuchsia Pisces sign sat above a pink, green, and blue skirt. She had the same black lips and fins like Eridan, only now Sirius could see the gills that stood on either side of her neck. The female seadwelling troll smiled, her grin filled with sharp teeth and yet Sirius could tell it was just a friendly smile.
"Sirius, I wwould like you to meet my Moirail. This is Feferi Peixes, the Heiress to the Crowwn and the Keeper of Gl'bgolyb."
AN:
Oni: And this chap is a wrap! If you haven't noticed yet, this story for now switched between Eridan's and Sirius's point of view in third person.
Eridan: So Sirius is meetin Fef...
Oni: Hehehe yes!
Eridan: That wwill be an interestin meetin...
Oni: I'm sure it will be!
Eridan: Please revvieww, wwe both lovve readin them.
Oni: Yes, yes!
Eridan: So wwe shall see you next time...
Oni: My pretties!