AN:
Oni: It took a little while, but here's the next chapter!
Eridan: This one appears to be longer than the rest.
Oni: That's because it is!
Oni: Also, I'll be getting back to school in a few days, so I'm sorry if updates become more scattered.
Eridan: Anywways -
"English"
"Alternian"
Oni does not owwn Harry Potter nor Homestuck. This fanfic idea is hers, howwevver.
Oni: Aaaaaand onwards!
"Alright everyone, hold on tight!"
As soon as Arthur Weasley said this, Eridan felt a tug at the center of his stomach, as if someone was trying to hook into his gut with some sort of energy. Soon he felt himself being pulled by his stomach as the world around him spun, changing faster than he could watch. He had an iron grip on both the Cloak and the shoe, momentarily letting go of Sirius's hand. Though he felt the rockiness of the ride he did not feel sick - sweeps of seafaring would do that to a person. Instead, his unhindered-by-spinning-transportation-device mind ('always be on guard' rang through his mind from all those sweeps of playing FLARP) marveled at the sights and sounds and colors that were changing around him. He hazarded a glance at his human travel buddies, and smirked when he saw that their faces had varying levels of discomfort written all over them.
With a burst of energy, they landed in a trash-infested area between two concrete dwellings, which was probably an alleyway, but it was so DIRTY. Newspapers littered the streets, as well as odd bits of glass, and the place smelled faintly of uncleaned biological waste byproduct. It was absolutely despicable, Eridan thought, to see a habitat so uncared for by its inhabitants. Anyone on Alternia caught dirtying a city was culled on the spot, and Eridan was beginning to think that maybe the culling method wasn't so bad after all, if this species had this level of disrespect for their own habitat. The troll wrinkled his nose at the thought, unseen by the others as he was still under the Invisibility Cloak.
"Is everyone alright?" came the voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt.
"Yeah, I think so." said the voice of the Parasite ves- Harry.
"Right as rain over here!" came the relatively chipper voice of Arthur Weasley.
"No problem here…Eridan you can let go of the shoe now." Sirius said, his eyes passing over the invisible troll a couple of times before watching as the shoe dropped like dead weight before his eyes.
"Are wwe just goin to…leavve the shoe here?" Eridan asked quietly, earning several strange faces and a shrug from Sirius.
"Yeah. Also hold onto me, I don't want to lose you…Thank you. Now, the shoe isn't a portkey anymore, so we can just leave it without causing someone to randomly transport somewhere."
"I understand that but…you wwould just…litter?" Harry snorted at his answer.
"You killed twenty Dementors and you're worried about some street rubbish?"
"Yes. Because this kind of offense wwould get you culled back home." Sirius paled at his words.
"Culled? For…littering?"
"Wwhere they stood, usually. It's an offense to desecrate one's owwn habitat."
"I don't understand what he's talking about…" Harry muttered.
"Let's talk about this after we get back to headquarters. Eridan, make sure the Cloak stays on, we don't want anyone to see you." said Shacklebolt.
A pat was all Eridan did to signal that he had understood. The five of them walked in a tight group, and the violet blood marveled at how obscure human society was. Other than the fact that the place was absolutely filthy, the buildings themselves were rather surreal. Windows had only four panes in a square or rectangular shape, and the shops held vibrant colors of all shades, obviously they did not have a Hemospectrum to control what color were and were no allowed to be displayed. Benches that were most certainly made of wood grew in a naturally brown color, and the trees he had passed had barks that were of the same shade. Eridan marveled at the leaves, which were a kaleidoscope of colors. Some were a deep green, while others were turning yellow and red and brown, falling to the ground at the gentlest of winds.
Watching the pedestrians, Eridan tried to grasp the social hierarchy, but he could find no sense. They all bled the same color, and yet the troll witnessed as shabby humans begged for money, for food, for shelter (couldn't they occupy an empty hive?). Eridan thought skin color might have had something to do with it, but that too was proven wrong.
Though whatever society they have created for themselves aside, the young troll had to admit, humans were a fascinating species biologically. Their eyes never matched the color of their blood, with browns, hazels, blues, greens, silvers, and yet they were not as glowing bright like a trolls. Hair was naturally seen in not only the raven black of a troll's, but also in shades of brown and yellow, while some human dyed their hair artificially into another color altogether. They relied purely on intuition to help them through trials that trolls could do in a heartbeat because of the addition of horns.
As they passed a couple more buildings, Arthur Weasley remarked that they were almost there. Eridan patted his response absentmindedly as he continued to survey his surroundings.
What made the place more surreal was how many…adults were there. Growing up on a planet that never had any fully grown members of one's species made seeing so many just walking around an interesting experience. They were everywhere, some even with small wrigglers (children?) in their arms or holding hands. The small humans looked so…ignorant of the world around them, as they were led by their older counterparts everywhere they went. Eridan watched as one small human waddled to the side of the street, only to be snatched up and scolded by his adult human Lusus. No sense of one's surroundings, were human wrigglers really that weak and absentminded? Was it their seemingly sheltered lifestyle that made them like this? The troll looked back at the struggling child in her custodian's arms. What was worse? Raised to be a soldier as soon as one was hatched, or coddled into oblivion? Were the rules they implemented themselves by their own society weakening humans as a race? Eridan couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like, born and raised as a human. How different would he have been, how would he have perceived the world…from a human's point of view? Human morality was a strange concept, one that Eridan wasn't sure he'll be able to understand, simply because the conditions of both planets were drastically different.
Eridan's fins twitched as he felt the human's apprehension and expectant auras rise. They must have arrived at their headquarters for the vigilante group that Sirius was a part of, the Order of the Flaming Cluckbeast…Phoenix. The four humans and troll stopped in front of a decrepit hive complex, before Kingsley handed the seadweller a note in the same hide material that he had found in the pockets of those skeletons.
"Read quickly and memorize."
Nodding, Eridan's eyes scanned the note.
The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London.
Grimmauld Place huh? What kind of a- oh. Grimmauld Place. Grim old place. Ha ha. Very funny. It seems humans had an odd sense of humor, one that required naming their homes as puns. Eridan rolled his eyes underneath the Cloak and handed the note back to Shacklebolt, who used his wand to light it on fire. The troll grinned at the display of magic, unseen by his human companions.
"Now, think about what you've just memorized."
Eridan looked to one building. Number eleven. He looked to the one next to it. Number thirteen. So number twelve would be…in between? A battered door emerged out of nowhere between numbers eleven and thirteen, followed swiftly by dirty walls and grimy windows. It pushed between the two walls that were once connected to each other, the inhabitants of numbers thirteen and eleven not even noticing the movement. In a couple of seconds, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place was now standing in front of the group in all its…dilapidated glory. The front door's black paint was shabby and scratched, and the silver door knocker was in the form of a twisted serpent. Every single brick seemed to be covered in grime and mold.
For once, however, Eridan ignored the sorry state of which the house appeared to be in, focusing more on the fact that it was a MAGIC house that just MAGICALLY appeared when he thought the address. This was it, it was really happening. Eridan had gone to another planet, and he was going to study and learn about the one thing he was always looking for, no matter how many trolls discouraged him of its nonexistence. Magic was real, and he just saw it right before his eyes. He was going to see other wizards and even get to fight in a war. This was the best opportunity the troll could have ever hoped for. Oh, the possibilities…
It was a good thing he was under the Cloak, or else the humans around him would have been frightened of the sharp-toothed grin that his face was donning, as well as the gleam in his eyes.
Harry felt a shiver run down his spine, and stared in the general area of where he knew the alien was hiding under his Invisibility Cloak. An alien that was a particularly dangerous individual. What were they called again? Trolls, right? How funny, Eridan looked and acted nothing like the Troll he fought against during his first year at Hogwarts. He was too small, too intellectual, too refined. The alien spoke with an eloquence and callousness he had only heard from one other person, while normal Earth Trolls just grunted and wandered. If one were to compare the two, they would see drastic differences. While the first Troll was larger, had more muscle mass and was undeniably smelly and difficult to fight, Eridan posed a much larger threat to the average wizard. The bloody sod killed twenty Dementors and practically yawned about it! But, at first sight, Eridan was just a kid. Nothing like the effect meeting an Earth Troll would have. If Hermione and Ron and even Dumbledore were to find out that Sirius had brought home a Troll, things would go downhill really fast simply because of their image of a pre-existing creature with the same species name.
A sudden idea popped inside the Boy Who Lived mind, and he weaved over to where he knew Eridan was standing. Putting his palms together, Harry whispered to the troll, not knowing if the alien troll had better hearing than a humans or not.
"Hey, Eridan. Do you mind doing a little favor for me?" He didn't need to see the troll to know that the bloke was raising a single eyebrow.
"And wwhat wwould the favvor be, exactly?"
"Don't take off the Cloak when we go inside. Stay hidden."
"Wwhy should I?"
"Well you see, here on Earth we have creatures called Trolls as well. They're nothing like you though. Big and stupid and smelly. So I was thinking, if I announced that Sirius brought a Troll home, the rest of the Order would go nuts, because they would think you were like an Earth Troll."
"You wwant me to stay hidden just so you can cause chaos wwithin your group? Wwhat havve they done to incur such wwrath?"
"They didn't tell me anything while I was left to rot at my relative's place for 'safety's sake'. Dumbledore is avoiding me and won't tell me what's wrong. People are looking to me as some sort of secret weapon that must be kept safe at all costs, and yet everyone wants to keep me in the dark about a war I know I need to fight. That's what they did."
"That's despicable. In a wwar, no information can be wwithheld. It costs livves, and it costs chances. Alright, I'll stay under here, as long as you let me help you wwith your wwar. If wwhat I'vve gathered from both Sirius and yourself are correct, they'll put me under the same treatment that you are gettin."
"You've got yourself a deal."
Harry nodded to Eridan before they were ushered into the Order's Headquarters. As Sirius, Kingsley, and Arthur moved ahead to speak with the rest of the Order, Harry held his arm out, signaling for Eridan to stop where he was, just behind the door to the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, Harry went inside and observed from the side, waiting for someone to notice his presence.
He watched as Sirius walked into the kitchen, and was engulfed in a hug by Remus, who had tears of joy in his eyes.
"Welcome home, Padfoot." Sirius patted Remus on the back.
"It's good to be home, Moony."
When they broke the hug, the Order took it as their cue to sit the poor dog animagus down for an interrogation. Harry decided at this point to spare his Godfather the barrage of questions that Moody would most definitely be firing (haha, gun joke near a rifle carrying, Dementor killing alien…) and coughed softly into his hand.
Immediately he felt himself being hugged from a rather frazzled Hermione, an expectant Ron, a serene Luna, a grinning Ginny, a smiling Neville, and a cackling Fred and George.
"So? What's the verdict?" asked Neville.
"Cleared of all charges!" replied Harry, beaming.
They all let out a simultaneous whoop, except for Hermione who breathed out a sigh of relief, and Luna who just gave Harry another one of her faraway smiles.
"I knew it!" yelled Ron, punching the air. "You always get away with stuff!"
"They were bound to clear you," said Hermione, "There was no case against you, none at all…"
"Everyone seems quite relieved, though, considering they all knew I'd get off," said Harry, grinning like a loon.
Fred, George, Neville and Ginny began a kind of war dance and chanted over and over.
"Harry got off, Harry got off, Sirius is back and Harry got off!"
Harry couldn't help but grin wider at his friend's antics, while the rest of the Order, Molly Weasley especially, tried to calm them down. But this was to no avail, the four of them would not stop their chanting, and soon enough Ron and Luna had joined their circle of war dancing as well, chanting.
This seemed to cause the rest of the Order to groan, but Harry cast a sidelong glance at Sirius, Shacklebolt and Mr. Weasley. Their faces were contorted into expressions of confusion as their eyes darted everywhere. Ah, they must be looking for Eridan.
Speaking of which…
Harry cleared his throat. Instantly his friends stopped in their war dance mid-step, and froze in place where they were. The adults in the room stared at him expectantly, and the three adults that had been with Harry in the Ministry glanced at him nervously.
"Everyone, I have some interesting news for you all! It is not about my trial, but about the mock trial Fudge tried to hold for Sirius as he came back through the Veil!"
Murmurs broke out amongst the adults of the Order, but Hermione was having none of that, knowing her magnet-for-trouble friend well enough to know when he was building up to something.
"Harry…what happened…" was all she could sigh out.
"I'm glad you asked Hermione!" Harry said with a smile, earning groans from his friends at his falsely 'cheery' attitude which he only used when talking about something highly dangerous in a light tone.
"Fudge and his toady crony named Umbridge decided to hold an execution for Sirius after they got wind of his arrival. They sent in twenty Dementors to do their dirty work, but something came out of the Veil first! Before anyone knew it, all the Dementors were dead, and the walls of the chamber were crumbling. The news is, a Troll came out from the Veil, and it killed the Dementors like it was nothing! And do you know what else? It's in the house. Right now!"
For a few seconds, everyone was completely silent. Harry held a triumphant smirk on his face, while Sirius and the others' faces were incredibly pale. The rest of the Order looked to them for validation, and the faces of everyone in the room, sans Harry, turned a rather watery grey color as the three of them stiffly nodded. Sirius was shooting Harry looks of 'what were you thinking' and 'well if you put it that way' while Shacklebolt and Mr. Weasley mirrored each other's expressions of 'dear Merlin what have we done'.
Moody stood up from his seat in the kitchen.
"Well, we better get to finding the Troll that is now loose in the headquarters. Everyone split up and look for it, and remember, CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"
At once everyone split up into groups, frantically looking for a Troll. When Harry went to 'help', he found himself ushered, along with the rest of his friends, into his shared bedroom by Mrs. Weasley.
"Mrs. Weasley, it'll be fine! Hermione, Ron and I defeated a Troll back in first year!"
"You shouldn't have had to! So you children are staying in here, where it's safe while we find that dangerous Troll!"
Before Harry could say another word, Mrs. Weasley shut the door behind her, set up a temporary Anti-Apparation Ward (much to the Twins' chagrin), and locked the door from the outside. Hermione took out her wand and tried to undo it, but it was no use, they were stuck in here. They all heaved a sigh.
"I wish they wouldn't treat us like little kids, we can take care of ourselves…"
"Harry, you were serious about the Troll, right?" asked Ron apprehensively.
"Yeah, kind of. But the Troll they're trying to find is much smarter than any Troll on Earth."
"Then they're going…" started Fred.
"To have difficulty finding it." finished George.
"We should be out there, helping!" shouted Ginny, pumping her fist in the air.
"Well, he isn't much of a threat to me now. He's kind of nice, actually."
"You talked to the Troll?" questioned an incredulous Hermione.
"He's an alien, Hermione, their race is just called Trolls. They're more like us than they are like the Trolls here."
"Huh…I wonder what this Troll is like then. I'm kind of hoping that they won't find him now." murmured Neville.
"I think we'll all be the best of friends." said Luna.
"Yeah, that's if we can find the Troll in the first place!" exclaimed Ron indignantly, "How can we find him if we're stuck in here?"
"Simple," remarked a rather familiar voice, "I'm stuck in here wwith you."
Watching underneath the Cloak, Eridan scrutinized the members of the so-called Order of the Phoenix. Naturally, he assumed that because this was not an official meeting, not all the members were actually present. Still, what he saw was a little disappointing.
There was a man sitting in one of the chairs who seemed like he didn't really want to be there, and had an aura of cowardice. It was obvious that he wouldn't last three seconds on Alternia, even though he was a full grown adult. Then there was the woman, a little round but had a very caring face. Her hair was bright red, and by the way she and Arthur Weasley were looking at each other, she was most likely the man's Matesprit. An aura of worry and care and…something very foreign oozed out of her, and Eridan's horns tried to pinpoint this strange new emotion.
There was another, much older man sitting at the end of the table, his face was scarred, burnt, and disfigured even among humans. A cobalt eyeball that was hooked onto a patch was held in place over where Eridan assumed the older adult had lost an eye whizzed in its socket, always searching its surrounding. He excreted an overpowering aura of paranoia, and yet his outside visage was rather calm. This man was definitely the oldest one in the room, and the most likely to survive Alternia's harsher conditions. He could probably live there relatively easy, Eridan mused, though for how long was the question.
The last unknown human adult was embracing Sirius in a hug. Were they Moirails? They certainly acted like it. Eridan's fins twitched as his horns picked up the aura of this one. He must be the human that could turn into a snarlbeast. What were they called? Werewolves? Either way, even if he could turn into a vicious beast for one night every month, the man didn't look very aggressive at all. Eridan still put him on his mental watch list anyways, just to be safe.
Then there were the younger humans, closer to his age.
The two older ones were honestly starting to creep him out. Why? They were almost completely identical. It was at this point that Eridan had to remind himself that humans were, in fact, mammals. Mammals have the ability to birth children on their own, so they could have multiple offspring from the same birthgiver. Unlike trolls, who hatch from eggs and are therefore completely individual, mammal offspring contain similarities from both their male and female birth counter parts called siblings. There was also a phenomenon where there could be identical siblings which came out of the birther in the same day. This phenomena was currently being exemplified by the chanting twins dancing in a circle. Looking closer, Eridan could make out differences between the two, mostly because the freckle patterns near the bridge of their noses were not identical, one had a distinct congregation of dots near the bridge of his nose while the other had a more scattered pattern all across the midsection of his face. These differences, however, were not very visible if you didn't look for it, as it was easy to just get confused in their frighteningly good synchronization.
The two remaining red haired children must be the twins' siblings, one boy and a slightly younger girl. While they weren't identical, there were definitely similarities. The girl danced with her twin brothers, chanting the same things over and over again. Eridan watched amused as her not-twin brother joined them as well, along with a round faced boy who was broadly grinning and a blonde haired girl with the faraway look. A frazzled brunette with messy hair that reminded Eridan of his bubbly Moirail seemed to sigh at these antics. Even so, it was obvious she was relieved at the verdict given of Harry's trial outcome.
Eridan hazarded a glance at the two humans (that weren't Sirius) that escorted him to this place. Their eyes were darting everywhere, were they trying to find him? How thoughtful, but he wasn't coming out from under this just yet. Harry turned around with a brief smirk that only the troll saw as he cleared his throat. The violet blooded thirteen year old watched with a raised eyebrow as he began to describe him in the worst light he probably could think of. Internally, Eridan snorted. From what he could gather, these Earth trolls were more annoying nuisances than they were an actual threat, at least from his point of view. An Alternian troll, never mind Eridan himself, was a far greater threat to humanity than some bumbling giant beast with the same species name.
The humans in the room, however, did not share this sentiment. Eridan felt their fear and horror come off of them in waves, and clamped his mouth shut to prevent himself from laughing aloud as he regarded all their faces. The blood drained from their faces as each human in the room, sans the strange blonde haired girl and the scarred old human with the whizzing eye, stared at Harry with horror written all over their faces. Personally, it was completely hilarious.
The whizzing eye man stood up and barked some orders. There was a flurry of movement as each human began to search for him. Weaving his way into the kitchen without bumping into anything, Eridan watched as the younger humans were herded into a room up the stairs. The small troll soundlessly followed after, curious what was going on. He slipped into the room in between the haggard girl and a protesting Harry. Looking around, Eridan saw some strange furniture including quite a few wooden fixtures that held some sort of strange, springy objects with large pieces of fabric draped on top. Noticing some of the humans flopping onto them with a huff, the troll surmised that these things must be those recupracoon replacements that Sirius called 'beds'. Silently, Eridan leaned against the far wall as the older red haired woman told them to stay put 'where it was safe' while they looked for a 'dangerous troll'. He really wanted to laugh at the irony of all these children locked in the same room as said troll.
Silly, silly humans.
Eridan watched them banter for a while, until the younger red headed boy threw up his hands in exasperation.
"Yeah, that's if we can find the Troll in the first place! How can we find him if we're stuck in here?"
Well, now was the best time to reveal himself, he supposed.
"Simple, I'm stuck in here wwith you."
His words were like an electric shock as every head there turned to the space which he occupied. Eridan's horns picked up the shock, surprise and even a dash of fear and excitement amongst the human children. Harry slowly approached him, a smile on his face.
"Eridan? How did you get in here?" He snorted, much to the surprise of the other children in the room.
"I followwed you, and slipped in wwhile you wwere fightin wwith the older red haired lady. I'm startin to think that this coddlin is wwhat makes your race wweak."
"Hey!" the red haired girl shouted, indignant.
"Oh the irony," said the brown haired, round faced boy, "We were put in here to be safe from the troll, and now we're trapped in here with said troll."
"How are you invisible? Are you under a Disillusion Charm? What do you look like? How are trolls this smart?" the bushy haired girl fired at a breakneck pace.
"Hermione breathe!" shouted the younger red head, and the newly named Hermione snapped her jaw shut immediately as her face turned a bright red.
"Relax, Ron, she's just excited." the round faced boy said, laughing, and soon the newly named Ron followed Hermione's lead and his face turned as bright of a red as his hair.
Harry held out his hand to Eridan.
"Speaking of which, can I have my Cloak back?"
"Of course."
Eridan shrugged off the Cloak and heard a collective gasp. Each of them was looking at him with wide eyes as he handed over the Cloak back to its rightful owner. He turned to address them and cleared his throat.
"Ah, yes, greetins. I am Eridan Ampora, a troll from the planet Alternia. The Archwway wwhich you humans called the Vveil lead to a passagewway to my home planet, underneath my hivve. I accompanied your comrade Sirius to Earth to learn about humans and their culture, and of course, to learn magic. Pleased to meet you."
He held out his hand but everyone was too shocked to take it. They merely stared at him as they took in his appearance. Harry, who had walked to stand next to the troll, was grinning widely.
Ron's female sibling then put both hands over her mouth as that familiar foreign emotion, the same one coming from her birthgiver, came off of her. Soon Hermione and the blonde girl shared the same aura. It was Eridan's turn to get confused. Why were they not scared? What was this emotion?
Why were they staring at him like a Lusus would its new wriggler?
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!" the females said simultaneously.
Suddenly he felt himself engulfed on all sides by not only the girls, but the twins as well.
"He's like…" said the scattered freckled twin.
"An ickle firstie!" finished the nose freckled twin.
"Or, you know, Harry in his third year." Ron quipped, smirking.
"Oi!"
"It's true. You've always looked younger than you really were. Back in first year I would have pegged you for a nine year old." The round faced boy shrugged.
"He's so cute!" said the blonde girl, smiling serenely as she pinched his cheek.
"Aw look at his big eyes, how could you say no?" the red haired girl said in a strange voice.
What was going on?
Unfortunately, his confused expression only made them coo louder as they hugged him close, sometimes rocking him.
"Harry…Wwhat. Is. Goin. On."
"Well, from the looks of it, they have thrown out the fact that you are a dangerous person and only see the little alien kid that you are. You, my friend, are being coddled. Welcome to Earth, Eridan."
"Hey look at these horns! They kind of look like your scar Harry!" Ron exclaimed, and began to move to touch them.
Eridan's hand shifted quickly and his fingers clasped around the boy's wrist.
"Don't touch my horns." was the curt order, to which Ron pulled his hand back and frowned.
"Why not?" he asked, confused.
"They're…sensitivve. Just. Don't." Eridan ground out, his cheeks coloring violet.
"Okay, got it. No touching the horns." placated Ron.
"Or the fins." added the troll.
"Or the fins…fins?!"
They're eyes wandered to his earfins, which he flapped a little to show them that yes, he had fins attached to his ears. This just made the twins coo at him.
"Aw!" said one, putting both hands on his cheeks.
"He's just a…" said the other, mirroring his twin.
"Cute…"
"Wittle…"
"Mermaid!" they finished together.
"Except he killed twenty Dementors." Harry supplied.
"Oh, come on Harry, look at him! He seems harmless enough!" Hermione tutted.
"Yeah, I don't see the dangerous Dementor killer anywhere here." Ron added.
Eridan's eye twitched. Never in his life has he ever been in such a situation where he was considered 'harmless'. He was Eridan fucking Ampora for Empress's sake, the feared Lusii killer, Fish Hitler, the descendant of the dreaded Orphaner Dualscar. No one (other than Fef, of course) has ever called him cute.
He didn't like this in the slightest.
Slowly he backed away from the humans, who displayed their confusion. Blinking at them slowly, once, twice, three times, Eridan wondered what he could do to regain his fearsome image. Killing or maiming was out of the question, since he was supposed to be fighting alongside them in this war against a sociopathic, genocidal maniac…
Oh wait, he was one of those as well.
This gave him a sudden idea. Flaring his earfins, Eridan widened his eyes, his pupils turning into narrow slits as he grinned in a fashion that he usually only reserved for FLARP games. You know, the 'I'm going to kill you slowly, painfully as you watch your loved ones being tortured and I laugh and have myself another cookie' smile and the 'I'm totally going to burn down this village and enjoy it' grin. Because of the nature of said grin, Eridan's interlocking narrow sharp teeth came on display.
The looks of horror at this brought joy to his blood pusher.
Harry just rolled his eyes at the Troll, considering that he witnessed Eridan doing much worse than just smiling like a psychopath.
"You know, you smile the same way Lord Noseless does." Everybody nodded at this with pale faces.
Eridan's face changed back into his blank frown, rolling his yellow and violet eyes.
"Wwell I wwasn't exactly the epitome of kindness myself." the Troll said with a shrug.
"Yeah but you don't kill people for the sake of killing, or because you think that one type of person is lesser than another!" Ginny exclaimed.
Eridan only raised an eyebrow at this. Was he implying that…?
"Wwanna bet?"
There was a few seconds of uncomfortable silence after that, which was broken by Eridan.
"Gettin worked up ovver killin. Humans are strange…"
Those words didn't really comfort Harry very much, neither did the other snippets of where Eridan came from did. It seemed really harsh, Spartan even, and the Boy Who Lived wondered what it was really like to live in a place like that? Earth wasn't the nicest place, but could the place Eridan came from be worse?
"Hey Eridan, if you think it's weird for us to be worked up over killing people, how do Trolls react? What was it like living on your home planet?"
The way the Troll's eyes brightened when he said that made Eridan really looked like a little kid that was just asked if they wanted to talk about the drawing they made. He walked over to the bed and sat on it, and to everyone's amusement bounced on it a few times (something told Harry that he had never seen a bed before) before turning to them. Eridan suddenly stared down at them with a smirk.
"Alright, get comfy evveryone. I'm goin to tell you about life on Alternia. If you havve any questions, wwait until the end of a section, I don't wwant to lose track of the tale. Noww…"
Harry didn't know how long they were there, locked in his shared room with his friends and a genocidal fish troll, but frankly he didn't care. The world that Eridan described was in equal counts amazing, bizarre and horrifying. At regular intervals Hermione would ask questions, and sometimes conversation would become philosophical and scientific as they each hashed out the similarities and differences between Alternia and Earth.
Luna seemed to get a kick out of the fact it had two moons, with one moon having its own moon as well. Ron listened in a rapt attention Harry didn't even know he was capable of at the stories of wars and battle tactics (though looking back, battle tactics and chess tactics worked hand in hand in a lot of situations), and even remarked on a few decisions made. For some reason, Eridan was grinning widely as he and Ron discussed this and everyone, including (to Harry's surprise) Hermione, had no idea what the two were talking about. Neville marveled at the descriptions of jade green grass and entire forests of blue trees and magenta leaves.
Fred and George bounced excitedly as Eridan recounted his friends, and trying to think up of their own 'identification symbols'. This actually lead to Hermione asking suspiciously about Eridan's friend's identification symbol, and after he recounted them all, held up a slip of paper that showed the twelve signs of the zodiac. Ginny found it funny that their friendship was already written in the stars for thousands of years, with Luna readily agreeing in her own, strange way.
Harry himself absorbed the ways of defense that trolls had, and suddenly felt less alone when Eridan told them that trolls didn't have parents, as they were insects based and were taken care of by their Lusus. This lead to them questioning the troll on his own Lusus, which prompted Eridan to materialize a giant floating white seahorse out of thin air, causing them to first jump at the sudden appearance and laugh as they realized how similar a Lusus was to a Patronus.
After meeting Skyhorse, Eridan explained the Sylladex, and passed out one to each of them. When asked about his foresight, the troll admitted that Sirius had mentioned how much it would come in handy if each Order member had a secret boost. It placated the when he also explained that once the Sylladex is set to an individual, only the individual could see or use it. Handy in case someone ever tried to steal it. When Neville asked if there was any way to steal and use a Sylladex, Eridan stared him hard in the eye and replied with 'over their dead body'.
They were then taught about the Fetch Modus, which everyone got a kick out of picking, and practically cheered when they were explained the Strife Specibus. Eridan demonstrated using his rifle, making it appear and disappear without saying anything or waving a wand. It was the general consensus in the room that this was handier than magic, even though Eridan was still adamant on learning magic.
This lead to each of the teens recounting their years of Hogwarts, but once they reached second year, Eridan's face turned impassive, incredibly cold. It was the same face that Harry saw right before the troll became hostile, and discreetly reached for his wand. He didn't have to worry, however, because all Eridan did was lean forward and pierce Ginny with a stare that Harry only ever saw when Professor Snape was looking at a student's potion.
"Miss Wweasley, please explain to me again wwhat Tom Riddle's diary did again."
Oni: Is this technically a cliffie? I don't know! But I do hope you have enjoyed the longer chapter.
Eridan: The children are out of the wway, noww howw wwill the adults think of me?
Oni: Eh, we're just gonna have to find out next chapter!
Oni: Also, Eridan WILL be going to Hogwarts, but do you guys want him to go as he is (a troll) or in a human disguise? I'm genuinely curious as I'm currently on the fence with this.
Eridan: I'm fine wwith either idea.
Oni: Speaking of which, what House do you think he'll get in? I'm leaning to either Ravenclaw or Slytherin.
Eridan: Tell us wwhat you think in the Revviewws.
Oni: Yes, please do!
Eridan: And wwe shall see you next time...
Oni: ...My Pretties!